Ep 258 - The Gift of Noticing: A Dove Tree that Didn't Bloom

On a humid morning after a much-needed rain, Mary Stone reflects on the celebration of the life of legendary New Jersey gardener and friend Marty Carson.

From stories of children helping to prepare the gardens to the remarkable tale of the Dove Tree (also known as the Handkerchief Tree) to an unexpected gift from Marty's son, this episode explores how gardens teach us to notice beauty, kindness, and one another.

Though beloved gardeners may pass, the gardens they create—and the lives they touch—continue to bloom.

Link to the Companion Post: The Gift of Noticing: A Dove Tree That Didn’t Bloom

Mentioned in this episode:

🌿   The Two Best Gardeners of the Garden State -Blog Post (June 8, 2017)

🌿   Extraordinary Gardeners, Extraordinary Plants - Blog Post (June 18, 2018)

🌿 Episode 25 - Baobab Tree of Life: Growing Kindness

Quote from this episode:

"The Dove Trees didn't bloom this year. But they will. Gardens bloom again. Kindness blooms again. Love blooms again."

Thank you for listening and for sharing the Garden of Life.🌻

More about the Podcast and Column:

 Welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries.

 It's not only about gardens; it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learned from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other. We have lots to talk about.

Thanks for tuning in, Mary Stone 
Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com
Direct Link to Podcast Page

Transcript

 Ep 258 - The Gift of Noticing a Dove Tree that Didn't Bloom

Sat, Jun 27, 2026 9:20PM • 11:54

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Garden Dilemmas, Mary Stone, nature inspirations, celebration of life, Marty Carson, Rachel Jameson, dove tree, Ernest Wilson, Ken Druse, gardening lessons, family gardens, silver spoon, bird nests, garden beauty, Mother Nature.

SPEAKERS

Mary Stone

Mary Stone  00:00

Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. I'm Mary Stone, and welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries. It's not only about gardens, it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learn from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other we have lots to talk about. 

Mary Stone  00:23

Hello, there. It's Mary Stone. On a humid morning on the screen porch, after a much-needed soaking rain, everything outside seems to have taken a deep breath. The birds are busy, the leaves are glistening, and the gardens look so grateful. We have had such a dry spell this spring. Before we begin, I want to thank you for reaching out to me after last week's episode. Those of you who did, your thoughtful notes and kind words always touch my heart. It means more than you know that we can share these moments together in the garden of life. As I reflected on last week's podcast, I realized something unexpected. When I shared this story of Jethro Tull, the coreopsis that Marty gave me, a surprise came to me when I realized that a portion of it would be shared with a few of the guests at yesterday's celebration of life. Marty was one of the legendary gardeners of New Jersey. I place her in the rare company of the people whose gardens became extensions of who they are, just as I feel about the remarkable family who has nurtured Well Sweep Herb Farm for generations, which we spoke about last week. 

Mary Stone  01:37

So, again, yesterday was Marty's memorial, or celebration of life, since her passing, the gardening staff that lovingly cared for her extraordinary property has been reduced to bare bones. I know the few that remain worked tirelessly to prepare the garden for guests while carrying the weight of losing someone they loved. I spoke with Rachel Jameson the day before the memorial. She is now the only full-time gardener on the property. She told me that her husband and her three remarkable children came to help prepare the gardens for the gathering. They're family to Marty. Really, I've witnessed that over the years. It has always warmed my heart. 

Mary Stone  02:19

You may remember Rachel's family way back in episode 25, Baobab Tree of Life Growing Kindness, which was back in February of 2021, and here we are more than five years later, and those children continue growing into remarkable young people. Rachel had me giggling as she shared a story about her youngest son, Grant. Apparently, he had reached the age where certain requests from mom are open for negotiation. He was eager to go swimming, though, before helping weed around the pool house where the celebration would be held. His older brother and sister stepped in, reminding him, "You can't go swimming until the job is done." I smiled, hearing the story. Gardens have a way of teaching lessons that reach far beyond plants. Do the work first, the rest comes afterward. It's a lesson many of us spend our entire lives learning. 

Mary Stone  03:16

My conversation with Rachel brought back another memory. Years ago, the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society hosted a tour of two extraordinary private gardens in northwestern New Jersey. One belonged to Marty Carson, the other belonged to a renowned garden writer and photographer, Ken Druse, and his partner, Louie Bauer. I wrote about that day in a story called The Two Best Gardeners of the Garden State. While I frequently savor a stroll among my friend and design colleague's garden that time, meandering grounds and gardens were especially glorious. Marty's unusual combinations of plants were both artistic and deeply personal, and that day they were meticulously maintained. Before we left for Ken's garden, I noticed for the first time the dove tree, Davidia involucrata, was in bloom. Its white bracts floated across the branches like handkerchiefs dancing in the breeze. Sometimes they're called ghost trees or handkerchief trees, because of those remarkable blooms. It's a finicky tree, often taking 10 to 20 years to bloom when grown from seed. Perhaps that's one of the reasons gardens treasure it so deeply.

Mary Stone  04:34

I also became captivated by the remarkable story behind its discovery, which reads like a thriller in the late 1800s. Ernest Wilson, a young botanist, set out on a hand-drawn map, rode the seas to China, almost drowned, escaped bandits, and survived disease, only to find the one known dove tree cut down to build a house. Can you imagine? Many would have turned around and gone home, but not Ernest Wilson. He kept searching. The happy ending - Wilson's unwielding, exploratory spirit succeeded in finding other trees whose seeds were brought back to England in 1901. His persistence is the reason many of us enjoy this remarkable tree today. That story has always stayed with me. 

Mary Stone  05:24

After visiting Marty's garden that day, we continued to Ken Druse's remarkable landscape. Ken welcomed us warmly and encouraged everyone to wander the winding paths. The garden is about plants, he said, and the goal is to fit in as many as possible, and he has them packed. His gardens are rather modest in size, but boy, are they special. It feels like walking through a living museum filled with rare treasures around every bend. When I wrote about the visit in 2017, I included a photograph I cherish, Marty and Ken, comparing their weathered gardening hands, hands that planted and pruned and dug and weeded and created beauty. Since writing that story, of course, Marty is no longer in her garden, and yet her garden continues to live, not only in the landscape she created, but in the gardens she inspired in our yards and hearts, and the gardens that I designed with her living on.

Mary Stone  06:27

Yesterday's gathering was beautiful. Framed photographs were set on the tables, adorned with flowers from the garden, capturing Marty at different seasons of her life. After the service, I wandered the gardens; they weren't nearly as groomed as they usually were, but Marty's presence was everywhere. Family members scattered her ashes over the magnificent 30-foot waterfall leading to the pond that nourishes the gardens. The irrigation system draws from its waters. There is something deeply sacred about that. Even now Marty continues nourishing the gardens she loved.

Mary Stone  07:06

 As I wandered the property after the service, I searched for the dove tree. Actually, there are two of them. I thought perhaps they'd be blooming again, but they weren't. Later, I asked Rachel about them. Oh, she smiled. A handkerchief tree? She explained that the early spring freeze had likely damaged the flower buds this year, so they didn't bloom for just a moment. I felt disappointed. Then I realized that's okay, they'll bloom again. Nature reminds us that beauty isn't absent, it's just waiting for another season. 

Mary Stone  07:43

There was one more surprise waiting for me that day. Shortly after I arrived, Marty's son, Bob, walked over and said, "Mary, I have something for you. It's in my truck." I couldn't imagine what it might be. A few moments later, he returned, holding his silver spoon, he said I was going through mom's silver, and I came across this. He hands it to me. I notice engraved on the handle was my name. The spoon is beautifully detailed with delicate flowers on the top and graceful leaves winding along the handle, as I looked at it, I couldn't help but seeing a smiling face in the pattern. It made me smile right back as tender tears welled in my eyes. Bob told me he doesn't know of any Marys in their family history. Perhaps the spoon dates back generations, but that's not what made it special. The treasure wasn't the spoon. The treasure was what Bob noticed as he sorted through his mother's belongings. He saw my name, and he thought of me. He took the time to pack it for his road trip from his home in Florida, where Marty spent her last days, and traveled to New Jersey, where he placed it in my hands at her celebration of life. 

Mary Stone  09:05

Gardens teach us to notice. The first bloom of a peony, a bird building its nest, seedlings pushing through the soil in early spring, or a dove tree that doesn't bloom this year. They also teach us to notice one another. Marty spent a lifetime helping people notice beauty and teaching them how to garden. Yesterday, standing in the garden she loved, it felt as though she was still doing exactly that. 

Mary Stone  09:37

Yes, it's true. The dove trees didn't bloom this year, but they will gardens bloom again. Kindness and love never stop blooming, and the beauty we plant in the lives of others continues to grow long after we're gone. Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com.

Mary Stone  09:58

 Speaking of nests. I have to tell you, I was crashing and burning, tending to my garden, because my sister is due to arrive any minute, literally any minute. She's stopping here to deliver some treasures for my family as she's preparing to move to Washington State. So I'm getting the family cherry table and a few other things. And while I was doing that, I pulled out the nests that I was telling you about a few episodes ago, and I have to say the robin's nest wins the prize for the most formally structured and very solid nest. And then the second place would be the cardinal's nest, quite intact still. Then there was the mourning dove's nest, which is by far the most flimsy-looking thing. I can't even imagine how it raised a family in it. Anyway, I'm going to put a photo of that in this post on the blog site, just so you can see it. 

Mary Stone  10:49

But anyway, I just wanted to thank you for walking these gardens with me today, and I look always look forward to hearing from you. So I encourage you to send your emails to Ask marystone@gmail.com and most of all, may we all learn and grow in this garden of life, and cherish all the gardens around us, knowing that there were hands that created them, gardeners generations long, whose seeds grow forward forever in our hearts. Thank you again. See you next time on the Screen Porch. Have a beautiful day. 

Mary Stone  11:24

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook or online at Garden dilemmas.com and on Instagram at hashtag Mary Elaine Stone. Garden Dilemmas: Delights and Discoveries is produced by Alex Barling. Thanks for coming by. I look forward to chatting again from my screen porch, and always remember to embrace the unexpected in this garden of life. Have a great day.