Steven Harowitz: 0:06
Hello, Internet. I'm Steven Harowitz, the director of Campfire. You are listening to Campfire at Home. It's our way of bringing our live experience to you, whether that be listening and reflecting by yourself or experiencing it with friends. Each Campfire invites listeners into discussions about life and how we live it. Before we get too deep into Campfire at Home, what you're listening to, I want to share a few opportunities for you to get involved beyond their live show or this podcast. We offer public speaking and storytelling classes and coaching for individuals and training workshops for organizations. If you or your organization are interested in becoming great public speakers and storytellers, visit cmpfr.com. That's c m p f r dot com. Each Campfire Season poses a life question that is explored by our Campfire Fellows, together with our audience. We're doing something a little new and having our class graduates share stories at a showcase event. They're not quite answering the exact question, but they're telling stories that relate to the main theme of the Season. So let's go to The Stage at KDHX to listen to the students' stories on responsibility.
Steven Harowitz: 1:19
Next up, we have two Jameses, and I have them back to back in the schedule. Whoops. So, James C, James Cooper. So next up is James, and he is dedicating a story to all the people that accept me for who I am, flaws and all. Please help me welcome James to the Campfire.
James Cooper: 1:47
High school is an interesting time in one's life, right? It's a time where you're trying to find yourself, find your friends, figure out what you're gonna do. For me, it was a lot of that, but it was interesting to say the least. You see, for the first 7 years of my schooling, I went to a Christian private school, and, for some reason, my parents got the bright idea that in seventh grade, it's time to go to public school, which was quite a transition. Leaving all my friends, leaving the comfort and going into something that was completely brand new, I was very anxious, very scary. The people that I went to school had gone to school together for 10 plus years. So to them I was kind of seen as the outsider. One place that I went in order to find friends and also solace was the basketball court. There it didn't matter who you were, what your background was. It just mattered, can you hoop? And at the time, I would say I could a little bit. Yeah, so going into my new school, it was really hard dealing with a lot of loneliness. I ate lunch alone a lot of times, but I guess I got to a point where I started to try and appease the popular kids, to try and find friends. So fast forward to my freshman year, and I find myself kinda in the midst of the in-crowd. A the time I'd say, uh, I'm kinda in the 20th percentile in in a way. Um, as a freshman, I had a girlfriend, which at the time seemed kind of like a cool thing. Looking back, brought a lot of drama, but also I was making good grades. I was doing the right thing, but soon trying to find myself with the in-crowd kind of caught up with me. Eventually I found myself in a place where I was having to do and choose things to do to keep up with the popular kids that I didn't necessarily agree with. This all came to a head during one fateful day in December of my freshman year. I don't really remember much about that day or how it got started. I remember it was lunchtime, walking through the halls, lots of kids playing their Gameboys. That can date me just a little bit. And all of a sudden I found myself with a guy who had kind of gotten into it with me. Basically, he encouraged me to step up for what would then turn into an altercation. At that point in time, I had a decision to make. I could either walk away as my parents and Christianity had taught me, or I could try to protect this somewhat reputation that I created and step forward. And unfortunately, I made the wrong decision to step forward. Now, I'd love to say that I got into this and I beat this guy down and protected myself and the whole nine yards. But the case is that's not what happened at all. Unfortunately, I got my ass handed to me, and yeah, so you see this guy? He was pretty strong kid. Um, semi pro boxer, probably the wrong person to get into a fight with. So as quickly as it began, it was as quickly as it was over. Um, unbeknownst to me, the school security guard was there, had witnessed this entire build up, and I found myself being escorted to the principal's office and I'm sitting there and I'm wondering that fast. How did I get here? You know, I've never been in trouble in my life. I'm just about a straight A student. These are not the type of situations I find myself in. Um, I'm sitting in that office just thinking about you know what the consequences that are going to be had. So I learned that I was going to be suspended from school for three days, which is wow, quite, you know, big weight to that. Then I had to beg my teachers to give me assignments for that time. I would later have to write on my college applications and describe this incident and basically say why, in spite of that, I should still be able to come to your institution. Um, additionally, at the time, as a freshman, I had made it onto the varsity basketball team, which I felt pretty good about. Missing those three days, I missed three games, never made it back to varsity that year after all that happened. And, of course, with the embarrassment of losing so badly, the girlfriend didn't want anything more to do with me. So she moved on. But most of all was having to call my mom after this happened to tell her that I have been suspended for three days. You see, my mom and I, we didn't really get along very much growing up. We do now, thankfully, but growing up, we really didn't see eye to eye. But I knew then as well as I know now that without my mom, I wouldn't be where I am right now. So having to talk to her on the phone and hear those words that every kid dreads to hear from their parents, "I'm disappointed in you." You know that weight of just sitting in that chair and realizing that I embarrassed my family, the morals and values that they had taught me. It was a lot. There's a lot to sit with, so you would think after this experience I would have changed my ways and tried to get on the right path, but unfortunately I did not. I found myself at the end of my freshman year in another altercation, one that which if my mom had not gone to bat for me, I would have found myself suspended for a second time. It wouldn't be until the beginning of my junior year of high school in which I finally had to take responsibility and say I have the onus to change the people I'm around, um, the environments that I'm in so that I can be around people who will help me grow as opposed to people who will bring me down. What that involved was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, and that was quitting the basketball team. I played basketball since I could walk. Just about. It was more of a language than talking at times, So it's really difficult to give up something where you find a lot of calm and quiet. But I found after giving it up that it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I switched to a new sport, wrestling. I found a different group of people, um, who weren't afraid to let me be myself. I was able to learn about new things and not have fear about being smart or being educated or, as people in high school like to say, talking white. You know things of that nature. Um, going into college, you know, it's a brand new experience. I went to college here in St. Louis at WashU, and it's like brand new time. You know, none of these people know my past, who I am, and I almost fell into that trap again of trying to appease the in-crowd, be with those who are well known. But I remembered back to my freshman year and the decisions that I made and the consequences I had to face and where that got me. And thankfully, I decided to make the right decision. This time I met a good group of guys that grounded me, allowed me to be myself, be authentic, one of which is in the audience tonight, Mr. Eddie. Shout out, Eddie. Um, and just allowed me to really, um, if something was going wrong or going on, I could be able to get it off my chest. More importantly, I met an amazing woman, somebody who allowed me to be vulnerable, who really held me down in a way that I had never really experienced, who took me for all my idiosyncrasies and weirdness, and I'm just able to be free and creative. Of course, my wonderful wife, who's in the audience, who could agree to all of those things. You know the moral of this for me, the lesson to take away is I had to realize I wasn't the sum of my past mistakes. You're able to move on. You're able to change. It doesn't matter what situation you find yourself in. If you find yourself surrounded by people who bring negative energy who bring you down who don't allow you to be your identity, it may be a good idea to cut those people off and find yourself and surround yourself with people who only strengthen you, encourage you and allow you to be your authentic self. Sometimes the hardest part of that is getting out of your own way. Thank you.
Steven Harowitz: 11:09
One more time for James.
Steven Harowitz: 11:12
And that is a wrap. I'd like to thank all of the graduates of Intro to Storytelling for sharing stories on responsibility. Also a big thank you to the Campfire team, our photographers and videographers. Also a special thanks to KDHX Community Media for being our partners on this journey. We're always so honored to host Campfire live at The Stage at KDHX and for letting us record in KDHX Studios in St. Louis, Missouri. If you want to learn more about Campfire and the work we do, you can visit cmpfr.com. That's c m p f r dot com. And if you liked what you heard, please leave a review on iTunes or wherever you find your podcasts. It really does help out. Until next time.