This episode features Jermar Perry, a student in Campfire’s Advanced Storytelling class. You can learn more about Jermar Perry on the Campfire website, https://cmpfr.com/events/winter-2019-advanced-storytelling/.
These episodes of The Campfire Storytelling Podcast showcase students who went through our Advanced Storytelling class. These students take a six-week class to prepare to tell a story about life and how they live it. Season 30 students told stories about false narratives.
This episode was originally performed December 2019, produced by Jeff Allen, and recorded live at The Focal Point.
This episode features Jermar Perry, a student in Campfire’s Advanced Storytelling class. You can learn more about Jermar Perry on the Campfire website, https://cmpfr.com/events/winter-2019-advanced-storytelling/.
These episodes of The Campfire Storytelling Podcast showcase students who went through our Advanced Storytelling class. These students take a six-week class to prepare to tell a story about life and how they live it. Season 30 students told stories about false narratives.
This episode was originally performed December 2019, produced by Jeff Allen, and recorded live at The Focal Point.
Steven Harowitz: 0:13
Hello, Internet. I'm Steven Harowitz, and I'll be your host for this episode of Campfire at Home, recorded here in St. Louis, Missouri. Almost every month, we gather at the Campfire to hear stories about life and how we live it. Campfire at Home is how we bring that live storytelling experience to you wherever you are. In this particular episode, I have something special for you because we have stories to share from the capstone event of our Season 10 Advanced Storytelling class. These students signed up for a class through Campfire to learn about public speaking and storytelling. That first class, the students are always nervous, excited and looking around, not knowing who each other are yet. But then they slowly get to know one another as they collectively reflect on their lives through story. They started to see the output of their training and the power and the liberation of owning and sharing their own story. And even when it got scary or their nerves crept up, as it inevitably does, they kept choosing to take on the challenge. And then there they were onstage in the lights, delivering some truly delightful and some truly heavy stories. All in all, their Advanced Storytelling training went over six classes, with some additional time for individual coaching. This series of podcast includes the four Advanced Storytelling students: Gabe, Javier, Jermar, Potter, all telling a short story on the topic of quitting. And then beyond the hugs and smiles each story teller got after the event, I got to say, as their instructor, a heartfelt congratulations to four people with newfound skills in storytelling, confidence in their voice and speaking publicly, and an understanding of the power of story. Let's head to the Campfire to listen to Jermar's story on quitting.
Jermar Perry: 2:15
Woo, I have to pee really bad right now. I started to run off the stage like Javier, but here I am, hoping I don't pee my pants. Okay, on a bright April morning, the sunshine through my very old beat up Rav 4 Black Jeep as I drove 25 minutes to Mercy Hospital. Now I'm not from St. Louis, but 25 minutes seems like a ride. That's five minutes too long. When anyone ever asked me from out of town how to get anywhere from St. Louis, always take 20 minutes, and it might just be my ignorance from not being here, but it always seems like it takes 20 minutes to get everywhere, at least or at the most. So I drive and I finally arrive and I finally find parking because it's jam packed that day and I parked my vehicle and I hear a call from a valet. Now, why does the hospital has valet parking? I don't know but they do. So the valet tells me I can't park where I parked. So I walk over to the valet and I hand him my keys. But before I do that, I have to wait because there's a line. So I wait, I wait, and I hand of my keys, then I enter the doctor's office, which is more like an emergency room/doctor's office. It's very busy. Lots of people there. So I'm now in the waiting room where I wait, so I wait. I wait some more, and I go finally to the person who handles the billing, and he told me I have a $37 bill, so I paid my $37. And I go to another waiting room where I wait, I wait, and I wait some more, and then finally a nurse comes and she gives me a plastic cup in a white bag. I was feeling throughout this experience, not one of fear, because I wasn't there for a life-altering or life-changing thing. But more of a you know, not a life-altering, but a life-changing thing. Um, so she directs me to the bathroom. So I take a step in the bathroom and my foot makes the suction cup-y sound on my Nikes. So my foot, when I first step in makes up sound. So I'm like, "Oh, wow, these floors is kind of sticky." So I take a second step in my sneakers, make the same sort of sound. Um, so if you haven't guessed what I was here for, I was there for a sperm sample. So yes. So I enter this bathroom. And when I think of bathrooms that I would masturbate in, I always think of sitcoms. So I think of like porno magazines with blonde-haired women or really fake boobs from, like, the nineties. Maybe a plush couch, maybe a nice TV, maybe some oil or Vaseline or something. This bathroom didn't have any of that shit. There was a sink, a toilet, maybe a mirror, and these sticky ass floors. So now, since it's April and I have a jacket on, I have to figure out what do I do with my jacket. So how do you know how to dress for masturbating in the bathroom? If it was a test, I would have failed it. So now I forgot what to do with my jacket. Then I have this video to worry about, then I have headphones, and then I have my penis to worry about. And this is all this multitasking that's going on at the way. I have to worry about somebody barging in this grimy ass bathroom that I'm in. And I don't know what this experience was terrible, trifling, or terrific, but experience began with a T. Uh, so finally I exit the bathroom and it feels like I was in a fight. I don't know if I won this fight or lost this fight, but this fight definitely happened, so I dropped my sperm sample off at the counter. There's something you don't really hear that often, right? And I leave. So a few weeks later, my wife sends me a text saying that she has some information for me. So I go home, and my beautiful brown brilliant wife (you could say I like alliteration) is on the bed, and she's in her white robe and she says she has to tell me something. So she has all these numbers scribbled on the paper, and it turned out that I have a low sperm count. The words hit me like a sucker punch to the gut because we walk around or I, use the I statement. They teach those things now. And I walk around with masculinity is probably in some ways, toxic is quote unquote, as I can be in some spaces. Um, and it hurt. It hurt, and my wife was kind of stoic when is she said it. And I did with most woke grown adult mature men do when they're faced with something they don't know how to handle. I didn't tell a fucking soul. Yeah, that's right, I told no one. And the reason why my wife was so stoic is because she's been through this process herself. She's been poked, prodded by doctors. She's been through her own experiences when it comes to medical field, so really turning to her with my fucking fragile issues would be kind of minuscule. Um, she's also been through surgeries when it comes to the whole thing. Um, and I was there every step of the way, and I didn't really know how to help myself in this instance. But I was really good at being there for her, in my own opinion anyway. Um, but now that I needed the same sort of assistance or guidance, I really didn't know how to ask for it. Um, we would go through all of these doctors visits, and we have this one great young doctor who did her surgery. He had about six kids. It was very Catholic. That wasn't a joke, but I'm glad, but I'm glad you're all laughing. He was, and he would break out these graphs and these charts of the uterus and all of these things and these terminologies, and I realized in those instances that I had no fucking clue about the women's body. I really should have paid a lot more attention in biology. Or maybe I should have took sex ed, like I should have in high school. But I didn't take that, um and it was like he was explaining calculus to someone who hadn't yet passed Algebra 1. So now eventually we would have to go to the doctor's for me. So we have to go to the men's doctor. So eventually we schedule that appointment and he tells me why I have a low sperm count. Um, and he steps into the room, and I'm the type of person who judges people by their outfits. He had on doctor scrubs and loafers. Now I went through a phase when I was a high school where I did was wear doctors' scrubs, and they're pretty fucking comfortable. And but doctor scrubs and loafers just seemed not to match to me. So it just seemed like he was a swarmy character to begin with. So he sat down and he started pushing this fucking Viagra. He's pushing his Viagra. He's pushing and pushing it. He's like the annoying weed dealer at a gas station. Like, just fucking leave me alone. I don't want your shitty Viagra. Just tell me what I came here for. So basically he tells me basic things. I could have learned or we could have learned from just going to Google. So we leave. And now we go into an interrogation room by two women who are kind of talking to us with the calmness and the sternness, and I know I'm wrong in my profession and what I do, but in that kids with needs sort of way, and there's like boxes in this room, and it just feels like some like New York Undercover or like some type of like NYPD-like interrogation room. And they tell us what the fee will be for this visit, which is $300. So we paid $300. We walk out in the parking lot, and in that moment, I feel kind of broken and I feel like quitting and I feel like giving up from having children. And then my wife, as busy as she is, she has a meeting to go to, so I'm left to deal with this like most mature adult men deal with these sort of things, right? I didn't tell a fucking soul. So now I'm on my way and I'm driving home and I just kind of sitting with it. And like I said, I kind of feel broken, and I feel like quitting. Um, and then, you know, over the course of time, your friends have kids and 10 of your friends literally have kids from their closest friends, relatives, the people you know you don't want kids, you know, they don't want kids and people who have 10 kids already literally, who have kids. And some of those people cry with you when they have kids and you feel bad that they're crying for you because they know that you've been trying to have kids for three years. And then, you know, you turn 40 one day and then, you know, over the course of time, your parents and people who are not even close to you ask you, "Why don't you have kids? Why can't you have kids? Why don't you have kids?" And you really want to tell them the mind their fucking businesses, it's your business. But you really can't do that. It's not the right thing to do. Right? So sometimes you just don't answer. So over the course of time, you know, we kind of think of things in different ways, right? So you kind of wanna feel for, be happy for your friends who tell you that they're having kids because it's a blessing to have children. But you also kind of think about yourself in those instances. You think about your own lineage and your own future and your own ways in the world, and my wife and I mentor lots of kids in the city, probably over probably over hundreds between the both of us. We've taken on a niece. We've taken on a nephew into our home. His father passed away less than a year ago. And maybe all of these things are enough. Then maybe none of them are. But maybe, just maybe, we can eventually grow to be okay with the shit that we just can't control. Thank you.
Steven Harowitz: 14:08
And that's a wrap. You can make sure to hear the other episodes from our Season 10 Advanced Storytelling graduates by subscribing to Campfire at Home wherever you get your podcasts. And if you liked what you heard, please leave a review. It helps others find our podcast, and it supports our students. If you're in the St. Louis area, we'd love to have you come out to an event or take a class. Visit cmpfr.com. That's c m p f r dot com for all of the details. And for those of you that don't live in St. Louis who just want to know more about what we do here at Campfire, you can also visit our website at cmpfr.com, that's c m p f r dot com. As always, a big thank you to the Campfire team, our photographer Jenn Korman, our videographer and podcast producer Jeff Allen, and the home for our classes, TechArtista. Tonight's stories were recorded live at the Focal Point in Maplewood, Missouri. Thanks for listening to Campfire at Home. I've been your host, Steven Harowitz. Until next time.