The Campfire Storytelling Podcast
The Campfire Storytelling Podcast
"How do you find a way forward?" featuring Caroline Caligiuri
This episode features Caroline Caligiuri, one of Campfire’s Fellows. Caroline provides her answer to the Season 17 question, "How do you find a way forward?" A Fellow’s Campfire can best be described as TED without the data, The Moth but interactive, and a sermon but without the religion. You can learn more about David Carnahan on the Campfire website, https://cmpfr.com/events/caroline-caligiuri/.
The Campfire Fellows go through rigorous training and coaching provided by Campfire Faculty so they can share their wisdom through story for you. Our Fellows are the people next to you at stoplights or walking by on the street. These Fellows apply or are nominated by people like you, who know interesting and introspective people with some wisdom to share. The Fellows go through a unique process with our team to discover a wealth of wisdom inside themselves and then are trained on how to share the origin stories of their wisdom.
This episode was originally performed in September 2025, produced by Jeff Allen, and recorded live at Work & Leisure.
Hello, Internet. I'm Steven Harowitz, and I will be your host for this episode of the Campfire Storytelling Podcast, recorded here in St. Louis, Missouri. This podcast shares stories about life and how we live it, as told at our live storytelling events. And the stories you get to listen to are from our Campfire Fellows, and they do long-form interactive storytelling, all focused around a season question that our audience gets to vote on. That season question is basically the prompt. It is the inspiration for what stories the fellows go out and discover. So they actually get into this storytelling program without a story in mind, but in it for the discovery. So that's what makes this podcast and these episodes so fun. In this episode, we hear from our season 17 fellow, Caroline Caligiuri and while you're listening, I have an ask. And so as you're listening, and maybe when you get to the episode's end, ask yourself, what would my answer be to this question? It's a nice moment for reflection, and it's a nice moment to take a breath. So join us. Just like our audiences do at our live events, they actually get to answer the season question. We want the same for you. Okay. That's enough chit-chat. Let's get down to the thing that you're here to do. Let's head to the campfire to listen to Carolyn's stories as she answers the season question. How do you find a way forward?
Caroline:Thank you. I cannot believe all you guys are here. Like I'm really overwhelmed by this love that I'm getting. So thank you so, so much. Um wow. Um I wanted to also say thank you to Steven, who is an amazing mentor. Don't shake your head. Oh my God. And I want to call out Connie. Where did Connie go? Connie was our first fellow, Sam was the second fellow, David was our lat the third fellow, and I am bringing up the rear. Hi. Oh my God. Sorry. This is not what I was expecting tonight. So thank you all for being here. Um if you walked in the door, you might have noticed there was some stuff on the Cahokie Mounds, which is near and dear to my heart. Um, I would love for you to take some of those things with you as you leave. But because we are talking about the mounds, I wanted to do a land acknowledgement. Um I'm including the land acknowledgement that the Buddha Center for the American Indian Institute at Washington University uses. We begin by acknowledging that we are in the traditional homelands of the Osage Nation, the Otoe–Missouria, Illinois Confederacy, Quapaw, Ho-Chunk, Miami, and many other tribes. We pay respect to elders, both past and present, and we thank them for their hospitality. Thank you. So, how do you find a way forward? That is my season question. I was about 14 years old. My mom and dad and I were living in the greenhouse. We were in Genoa City, Wisconsin. My two older brothers were behind in Wheaton, Illinois, where I grew up. They did not come with us. We were in the back of the greenhouse in the kitchen, and it started to rain. And then it started to pound a little more on the roof. And the roof was made of polygal, which was a panel of plastic, to be on the outside of the greenhouse. Then the wind started to pick up, and it felt like fingers had like pulled on to one of the edges and started shaking it. And then my mom started praying to Saint Jude, who is the saint of hopeless causes. And we sat there and we were like, okay, we're gonna get through this, it's gonna be okay. And then all of a sudden we heard this rip! And we looked at each other, and my dad and I ran to the front of the house, and the first panel on the greenhouse had been torn off. And we were watching all this water come pouring in, and it was right over my piano. I know. So my piano music was getting wet, the piano was wet, the painting on the wall was getting wet, but we didn't have time to think about that. So my dad and I ran outside and we watched this 14 by 5 panel go tumbling out towards the cornfields. We're like, oh my god, we have to catch this panel because if we don't get it, we don't have something to replace it. So we ran after it, we were soaking wet, the wind was all over the place, and we finally caught it and we tackled it. And each of us took up a side, and we were able to move it up and like slice it back through the wind and get it back to the greenhouse, and we secured it in place. Then we went inside, and my mom, bless her heart, had gone and pulled all the piano music off. She'd pulled the painting off the wall, and she'd found one of our many large blue tarps and put it over my beloved piano. So 54-year-old me looks back at that and goes, How the heck did I end up in that situation? How am I in a greenhouse as a 14-year-old chasing a piece of roof down into the cornfields? So let me tell you. I grew up in Wheaton, Illinois, which is a suburb west of Chicago. It's a normal suburb. I was a normal kid. It was the 70s. And I had my my mom and dad, and my two brothers were with us. My mom was this lovely, vivacious, beautiful, really funny human being. And on the screen, you see the two of my mom and my dad, and also uh my whole family. Um we were we were best friends. She was amazing. And my dad was brilliant. He was an art an architect, he helped build the John Hancock building in downtown Chicago. And he was a he had his own construction company. He was really smart, except with finances. He also enjoyed the drink. So my mom was always very involved in everything that I did. We were, like I said, we were best friends, and she wanted me involved in music and arts. I was clearly not a sports person. I started playing piano when I was three. I got involved in music and theater as a kid too. And my mom always took me to different places around the area. We went for, you know, like a concert or an art museum or theater, whatever was out there. She was always like, We're gonna be out there, we're gonna do it. And one of the things that we love to do was play records and dance and sing. And one of our favorite records was the Bee Gees. So that was our thing. Also in that time frame, like between 76 and 78, there was a really cool influx of like sci-fi fantasy stuff that was on TV. So, like it was Wonder Woman, the Six Million Dollar Man, um, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek was still on, Mork and Mindy. I mean, just this really great variety of things that kids could just let their imaginations go wild. And we did. 70s kids were outside all the time. We were playing, we were gone all day, and then we came back for dinner when our moms called us in. And that's what we did. When we were inside, I would go to my friend Christy's house, and she had Barbies. So we would play with the Barbies, and they would be Wonder Woman, Bionic Woman, and they would do their things. And then my friends Kurt and Kyle had um the Star Wars stuff. They were they had um the action figures and the trash compactor, so that was super fun, right? So I would come home and I would have my records, and I had paper dolls. And I didn't really think about the fact that I didn't have the same things that other kids had. Also, during this time frame, we were um looking at other movies that were out and about, and like Superman was in the theater in 1978. So I was seven years old, and my friend Christy and I actually got to see the movie by ourselves in the theater, which you would never do now. But the best movie came out in 1977, best sci-fi movie. I'm gonna hum you the first two notes of the theme song and shout out what it is. Woo! Star Wars! That was the kids' dream. It was so easy to just fall into playing and enjoying that. So we really had a great time. So I want to ask you. I kind of grew into like nerdiness through sci-fi types of things. So just by I would like to come and just you can shout at an answer and I'll point at you. What are things that you had that were nerdy? And this can be like a watch collection or you enjoy horses or something. So somebody wanna uh shout something. Go ahead. A microscope, that does not surprise me. Go ahead. Legos are so fantastic and so good for the imagination. Anyone else?
Audience Member:Every single Harry Potter audiobook on C.
Caroline:Harry Potter, yes, always good.
Audience Member:Oh Ninja Turtles.
Caroline:Ninja Turtles. I love the Ninja Turtles. Raphael was my favorite. That was so cool. I love that you shared that with me. So it's like kind of showing that we all have community and we have like nerdy doesn't have to necessarily be like sci-fi, it can just be things that we enjoy as you know, a community. I'm also I'm gonna be two-fisting drinks tonight, by the way. So, anyway, we we enjoyed those things. Then one day, my mom and dad sat me down, and it was after my fourth grade year, and it was in the summer, and they said, We need to tell you that we're gonna be moving. We bought a greenhouse in Genoa City, Wisconsin. We're going to have a store in the greenhouse, and we're also going to be having a residence inside. Your dad is gonna go and take care of this, and then the end of your fifth grade year, we're gonna move up there. And I was like, What do you what do you mean we're moving? Everything that I know is right here. My family is here, my brothers are here, my cousins, my friends were here. Everything I knew. So 10-year-old me was like, I don't want to go, what am I gonna do? It was awful. It was absolutely awful. So then my dad started disappearing during the week. Not disappearing, he was up in the greenhouse, although he was disappearing. And my mom and I would go up on Friday night and come back on Sunday. As we went up there, we stopped at the little grocery store in Genoa City and we got pasta and vegetables and I don't know, a chocolate pie if I was lucky, from Marie Callendar. And I didn't notice, or I noticed, but I didn't know what it was. She was paying with these green stamps, and I didn't understand what that was. So we went to the greenhouse and we went in, and my my first impression was my dad had done, I really love the atmosphere too. They put green up for me, which is great. So it is a green house. Is that awesome? So I would say our shop was probably about a third of the size of the space. And my dad had, as a construction guy, had like built walls and did a ceiling so that you know it was comfortable to be in there, like as a store and it wasn't blazing hot. And he had his own little private section in the back. He had like one burner, a coffee pot, running water, a fridge, and a toilet. And this is where he was living during the week. And this is where I was living during the weekends. When I got there, I looked around, I went into the greenhouses, and I know they were shown earlier, I apologize for that and not acknowledging it. Um, they were four big glass buildings, and there was nothing there. There was glass missing in the ceiling and on the sides, there were roots and crap growing all over the place, and it was just not a place for a kid. Here it is, right there. I did not miss it. On the screen are the four greenhouses, and then also in the background, or maybe I did miss it. He uh that's their our barn, and that was the in the background, there was the cornfields as well. So I walked around and I saw more cornfields as I went out. I'm like, there's nothing here for me. I'm 10 years old. What am I supposed to do with myself? There was a highway out front. Eventually I got a bike, and I could go a mile up the road and get ice cream from the store, or I could drive or ride in like a mile and a half to the park and hope that I would find kids that I could play with. So that was my life. So I started bringing books with me as another way of escapism. So I helped find my way forward through escapism, imagination, reading, television. And we did find we had a black and white TV, and Doctor Who was on on PBS. R-I-PBS go. Um, so I enjoyed watching that, but then that was it. So we went through this whole season, and then the end of my fifth grade year, we moved up, and it was our permanent house. Now my dad had done an amazing job, really. He had built a house inside the greenhouse. We when we walked in, it was there was a living room, his office, the dining room, my bedroom, their bedroom, furnace room, bathroom, kitchen in the back. So it looked like a normal house, minus the fact that it had pipes hanging out and you could see the sun because there was the polygow. So other than that, and when it rained, it rained inside and it was hot, it was boy, very hot. Just those little things. So, but I made it through, and I ended up going to grade school, obviously, as we all do, and I found my people there. I found my music nerds, I was in theater, and then when I went to high school, it was the same thing: it was music and choir and theater. And in theater, we did these one-act plays, and they always went to state, and state was in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. So we were there every year. So I became very familiar with the campus. So when it came time to graduate, I realized I was gonna have to make a decision about college because there was not a question that I was gonna go. So Stevens Point seemed the right answer. One, I knew the campus, and two, it was a state school, and we didn't have any money, and I had Pell grants and scholarships, so I got to go for free. So that's where I went, and it was amazing. That summer before I was worried about not spending as much time with my mom. She had had to pick up a job because the greenhouse was not coming up with the funds that we were hoping. So she worked up in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, and it also gave us insurance because we definitely needed insurance. So she worked during the summer, I worked part-time during the summer, and I didn't get to spend as much time with her as I had wanted to. So as the summer came to an end, I was very nervous about leaving. But the day came, we packed up all my stuff in the van, and we drove the three and a half hours to Stevens Point, Wisconsin. We unloaded all my stuff in the dorm, I met my roommates, I met my wingmates. We came back down, we ate dinner, we drove around the campus, and then my dad pulled up in front of my dorm. I would not get out of the car. My mom literally opened the door, shoved me out, slammed the door behind me, and locked it, and they drove off. They left me standing there crying my eyes out while they drove away. Now keep in mind, this is 1989, there were no cell phones. So I didn't even know that, I didn't know where they were in their progress. So we had devised a way that when they got home, they would call my uh dorm phone once, ring once, and then hang up so that I knew they were home. So my my new friends were comforting me and telling me my mom was a horrible human being, which made me feel better. So the next day I waited until 7 o'clock because it was uh 10 cents a minute at 7 o'clock. Otherwise, before that, it was like 15 or 25. I don't know. I only called at 7 o'clock. So I called my mom and I was like, I cannot believe you did that to me. And she said, I love you. I want what's best for you, and the best thing for you to move forward is to go to college. This is gonna be the most exciting experience of your life to this date. She was right. College was the best four years of my life. I went in as a music minor because there was no way I was practicing 50 hours a week in order to play an instrument. And then I went through and I took a bunch of different classes trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I had philosophy and psychology, astronomy, history from different countries, things I had never had the opportunity to study in Genoa City, Wisconsin. Genoa City was a population of 1,000 people. Stevens Point was 23,000 people. So this was like. So it was incredible. I eventually ended up with a communication degree with a film emphasis. And no, there was no film degree in Stevens Point. There were about 10 of us that were really aggressive about it, and we ended up making the department create a film degree. So that's what we did. And they're all doing really well. They're all in LA doing cool things, and I'm on stage doing campfire, which is also a very cool thing. So I eventually graduated, and I knew that I would have to go back to the greenhouse. I had had this taste of freedom, and I'm like, this is so incredible. And now I knew that I was gonna be home again. The last couple months of college were really rough for me. My roommate and I were not getting along. So when I got home, I was kind of a slug. I worked part-time, I did some temp work. I did find a theater group in Elkhorn, and I joined that theater group and had a really good time. But eventually my dad was like, listen, you gotta get yourself going. You can't sit here all the time. And I said, you know, I can go to Chicago tomorrow and go get a job. He's like, I suggest you do that. So I said, fine. So I sent my resume off, and I got an interview with Northwestern Mutual Life, and I got the job the next day. So here I was now, I'm gonna be in Genoa City, and I'm gonna be taking the train into Chicago. It's a two-hour commute. Oh, it was great. You could sleep. I met all these really cool people that I never knew. I know it's hard for you to believe, but like I was talking to everybody. So it's really easy to enjoy this time on the train. So if any of you have ever been in Chicago, like especially when you come off the train, like you've taken the metro or whatever, when you come out, there's a river that just runs through the middle of the city. It's so beautiful. And you look around, and there's like all these buildings and this architecture. And then in the background is the John Hancock building that my dad built. So it was so neat to be down there. Thousands of people every day. And you're you're walking around and you're hearing all these languages, you're seeing different cultures. The diversity is just overwhelming and it's beautiful. And I just soaked it in. It was this amazing next step forward for me to learn more about the world. So I had my job. It was awful. It's finance. Why would I want to do it or it's insurance? Sorry, Amy. It was actually insurance. You just hit me on my brain. Anyway. Oh, time for a dream. So the best part of that job was getting to meet more new people. And also, I had um I had the instance to find a roommate in my friend Christy, different Christy. Apparently, I only have friends named Christy. There's another Christie. So she and I decided we were gonna get an apartment together. She also had come from a small town, and we're like, this is perfect. So we moved in together and we were free. Because the first time that we were like young adults and just doing whatever we want to do, eat we want to eat, stay up as late as we wanted. It was very different than college. And we also got to pay rent and bills. So welcome to young adulthood. It was lovely. She was so incredible. And then my birthday was coming up soon. It was December 13th, which happened to be a Friday that year. And I decided that I wanted to go hang out with my nerd friends in the theater group up in Elkhorn. We found this place called the Abbey that had a piano bar. And we sang and danced, and it was just it was a lot of fun. So I'm like, that's what I'm doing for my birthday. So I went up to the I went up to the greenhouse the night before on Thursday. I took the train in, I said hi to all my buddies, and they're like, where you been? And like I moved out. So that was fun. And then somehow I missed the train on the way back home. I'm not sure why. Um, but by the time I got to the greenhouse, it was dark. And when I pulled up, all the lights were off. And I knew my mom was working in Lake Geneva. So I but my dad was supposed to be home. So I walked in the door and I called his name and he didn't answer. And I went over and I turned on the light switch outside my bedroom, and the chandelier came on. And yes, we had a chandelier in the greenhouse. And the light spilled down the hallway, and I could see my dad's feet sticking out of the bedroom. And I'm like, Dad, what are you doing? Are you trying to find the cats? Like, what's going on? And I toddled up and I flipped on the light, and he was covered in blood. And I was like, what's going on? And he started to stir. And he said, Help me up. And I said, I'm not, I'm not getting you up. And I ran to the phone and I called 911. And he's like, Don't call 911. So I startled and I hung up the phone and they immediately called back and said, What's your emergency? I said, My dad has had an accident. I then called my mom and I said, Mom, I need you to come home. So the greenhouse was on this section of Bloomfield Township, which was a large smaller part of Genoa City. So when my mom pulled up about 15 minutes later, all of the Bloomfield Township was there. There were two fire trucks, two ambulances, four police cars, and anybody else that was in the area. So my mom pulled up and she walked in the door and she knew. My dad was bidding put on the gurney and rolling down. And the paramedic said, Ma'am, do you want to drive with your husband in the ambulance? And she said, No. So off he went. We figured out that he was eating lunch. He had a glass of wine that was empty. We had chairs that were rolling chairs. And he must have gone to sit. He missed the chair, fell straight down onto his tailbone, fell over and hit his head on the table, the claws that are underneath. Probably passed out because there was a large pool of blood there. Then he got up because you could see the blood was moving around. He went to the couch, laid on the couch, all the blood came over his head. He made another puddle there. And then walked past a phone, went to the bathroom, turned around and passed out. And that's when I found him. We cleaned up the room as best we could. We went to the emergency room. And we sat in the room with him. And the doctor said, Joe, do you know what happened? He told his story. And the doctor said, Were you drinking? And he said, No, no. He said, Well, your blood alcohol limit is over the legal limit. And that was several hours ago. So I spent my birthday in the ER with my dad, knowing that I was going to be dragged back to the greenhouse because my mom needed to work and he was going to need care. So I stayed there through Tuesday. My mom was off on Wednesday. So I went home. Christy and I were having dinner. We just finished up. It was about 7 o'clock. It was exactly a week later. And I get a phone call. And it's my sister-in-law. And she said, Carolyn, your mom has been in an accident and I'm coming to get you. And I said, What happened? She's like, We'll talk about it when we get there. So for 30 minutes, I was shaking. I didn't know what to do. So she got there and she said, Your mom was coming home during her lunch break to take care of your dad. The kids were getting out of high school, they were screwing around, and one of them crossed the line and hit her head on. So we went to Milwaukee, and she was in the room. Kathy and I stood outside, and she's like, Are you gonna be able to do this? I said, I don't know. We walked in the door, my mom looked at me, and she said, If you cry, I'm gonna kill you. And I went, Oh. And I knew she was there. She was not alright, but her personality was there. But she looked awful. She had a bruise on her forehead, her shoulder, arm, hip, leg all were broken. She was newly in the room, so they hadn't been able to put her together yet. But eventually she ended up in traction. And uh the 26th of December, she had surgery. She was there probably through January 1st, I would say. And then she was home again. My dad was better, so he was able to help a little bit, but my brothers and I kept going up on weekends. So as much as I tried to be away from the greenhouse, I kept getting that drag back. She worked really, really hard to make sure that she was healthy and she was gonna walk again and be good. She did all the right things, and eventually she did really well. I'm gonna stop right here for just a minute. That when Steven and I were practicing this, it was really, really hard to get through it because it was such an emotional week of my life. So after that rehearsal, I went home and I, well, actually, I was home, I went to the kitchen and I made dinner and I turned on the bee Gees. And I had a dance party in my kitchen. And if you would indulge me, I would like to do a dance party for just 20 seconds. I promise. You don't have to do this, but I would invite you to stand up and dance to the bee Gees with me to you should be dancing in whatever way you want to do it. Alright. Now I can at least like get that crappy energy out. Ooh, as I break the microphone, and then keep moving. So things kept going in a good direction for my parents because my mom was healthier, my dad was my dad, and I ended up buying a condo. Christy moved out and got her own job, and I bought a condo in Oak Park, Illinois, which is the first suburb west, which I can't remember if I said that or not, but super cool place. So I was there, and then I also was like, I really don't like this job. So I ended up getting a job at Columbia College Chicago, which is a fine arts college downtown Chicago, and it was like amazing. I met really cool people there, and we were in the the executive vice president's office, so people were in and out. I was meeting all the faculty, all the staff, like continuing to move my brain forward in this worldview of what was going on. And the chair of the film department came in because they were doing renovations, um, and he came in and we were talking. I was like, Well, um, I've got a film degree from Stevens Point, Wisconsin. And he said, Great, do you want to teach a class? And I went, What? That was not on my bingo card. So he I said, I don't have any teaching experience. How could I do that? And he goes, Oh, well, at Columbia, professionals are the teachers, actual photographers, actors, um, people who do arty things, they're all here teaching at Columbia. I was like, okay. So he's like, well, it's a film 100 class, so like really it's an idea development. It kind of weeds out the kids. I was like, thanks. So I said, All right, I'll do it. So I it started as idea development, and then it eventually ended up in screenwriting. I'm like, yeah, right? Like, so I was teaching screenwriting in Chicago, Illinois. Who would have thought? So being involved in that and touching students' lives on that level is so exhilarating. Like seeing what some of these kids are doing these days is mind-blowing that I had this tiny bit to do with that, and it makes me really proud. And also that time I got to take classes. So I took several writing classes, and that was kind of an ongoing thing I had been doing for a while, but it was a chance to actually get feedback on things that I was working on. In addition, I went to different events, I met world-class faculty and learned so much from the diversity that I was involved in, and it just helped me leap forward in my own growth. During this time, my mom in 2002 then was not, she started to not feel well. And she's like, Woo! Woo! She said, Um, I think I have an ulcer. And I was like, there's no way that you have an ulcer. That's not true. So she went to the doctor and she came back and she said, You're right, I don't have an ulcer. I have pancreatic cancer. Anybody that has any experience with that particular cancer knows that it is not a good prognosis. So she fought and did all the things she was supposed to do. But on my birthday, December 13th, we were at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, downtown Chicago, and I knew she was going to die. And on January 1st, 2003, she passed away. And that was the worst day of my life. I should have done the dance party now. The first year of anyone that you've lost, the first anniversaries are always terrible. It's the first birthday, first Mother's Day, first Halloween. And then you hit the anniversary. The second year didn't go much better. But I kept falling back to my escapism and enjoying the like sci-fi things that were out and about in the world. So starting the third year, I was watching the WB R.I.P. And I was watching Smallville. Oh, Smallville fans. And they had an ad for the show called Supernatural. Oh, there's people who know, let's uncle. Supernatural is these two hot guys that are brothers. They are on the screen. They have these insane things that they kill monsters with. And they're um, oh, so it's 20 years ago. You see September 13th, it was 20 years ago, 2005. Um, their tet their logo was Saving People, Hunting Things, the Family Business. So I'm like, I'm in. So I'm also, and if you're not familiar with the show, which it sounds like a movie are, uh the tall cute guy in the back was Dean on Gilmore Girls, and the shorter cute guy in the front was in Smallville and also Dark Angel. So they now own uh the CW because they were on for so no, I'm kidding. She's like, what? I mean, they basically did, like everything they had was on there. But anyway, so I fell into this show. It was a great way to just hit escapism and and move forward past this huge grief that I had with my mom. So they had 10 episodes through uh November, and then they had the Helatus, is what they called it, and then I knew December was coming, and I was I did not have good luck with December. So I just dove right into the show. I watched it nonstop, I started finding um like websites about it, and I was learning about the actors, and then I found this thing called fanfiction. Just by show of hands, anybody know what fan fiction is? Oh, this is a very learned audience. I'm very impressed. Yeah. So fan fiction is, for those that don't know, it's when an average Joe writes a story about the characters that are on a TV show or a movie, and you get to make them do whatever you want. And it was so fun to read all these stories. And then I'm like, I can do this. So I belched out 47,000 words in two weeks, and Joe can tell you, I have never written that fast in my life. The writing was terrible, but the story was so good. So I have like 19 chapters, and when you post online, you're getting instant gratification. It was like euphoric. I would post something and they're like, oh my gosh, like that was so great. You I can't wait for your next chapter. I'm like, oh, okay, here's my next chapter. It was like a drug. I could, I was so excited to do it. So I finished a story, and then they're like, Are you gonna do a sequel? I'm like, hmm, maybe I will. So from there, I was like, all right, I'm gonna go to my local Oak Park Borders Bookstar store, RIP. And I found this book called Weird Illinois. And there were weirds for every state. And it talked about just interesting things and facts about that state. So I was flipping through and I found a thing about the Dixon Mounds, which is in Springfield, Illinois. And then it mentioned Cahokia. By show of hands, how many of you have heard of Cahokia? Oh, very nice. Like most of you. I'm very impressed. How many of you have been to Cahokia? Okay. How many of you went in second grade and never showed back up? Yes. I have words for you. So I would like to explain to you why Cahokia Mounds is the most impressive thing in St. Louis. Oh, as I dropped. This is my this is my professorial moment. So pretend that you're one of my students. So as you see on the screen, there is a video that is ongoing of the Cokia Mounds. It's like showing the whole highlights of everything that is there in the beauty of the mound. Cahokia is the largest abandoned Native American site in North America outside of the out of Mexico. And there were 120 mounds at one point, and there are about 80 mounds that are still left. The largest of these mounds is Monk's Mound. It is 22 million square cubic feet of mass of earth. It's 100 feet high, and there's 156 steps to go to the top. And I tested it last weekend and I was exhausted. When you get on top, you can see St. Louis in the background. It's about eight miles away, and it's a beautiful sight. If you go to the top of the mound where you came up and you look back across, there's these rolling mounds throughout, and it's got trees and all this beauty, and then a stupid highway that goes right in the middle of it. Which ruins the whole thing. A half a mile west of the mounds is Woodhenge. Woodhenge is a celestial calendar. And if you go in the middle, there's a post, and then there are posts all around. And the tribe of the time, which we're saying is probably the Osage, but I'm please don't count, don't say that that's true. Um they have the posts that show the solstice and the equinox against Monk's Mound. It's really beautiful. This past weekend was the equinox, and I did not go because I could not get up early, but it is a beautiful site to go see. And this whole week you could probably still go see it because it's close enough to that time. So I would recommend if you have time to go this week. Also, this Saturday, they're having a nature hike from one to four and raptor days. I'm not sure why it's raptors, but the kids like it, so it's a way to get people over there. So I highly recommend going and checking out the mounds. There is a bunch of stuff as you walked in too that please take those items. There's folders and different brochures so that you can learn more about the mounds. But after my talk, don't go do it right now. So the last thing about the mounds was mound 72. In mound 72, there was a burial of a chief, probably around 1050, on 50,000 seashells from the Gulf of Mexico in the shape of a falcon. Around him were other, probably family members that were buried with him. And then a little further down in the other mound were um three, no, four headless, handless men that were linked together. So, and then there were about 250 other skeletons that were in this mound. So it's spectacular. So Sam and Dean Winchester, were definitely gonna go to the Cahokia Mounds. So this is the end of my professorial moment. So thank you very much for listening to my lecture. Oh, yeah, I've got to teach you something too. So now I had my story. I was gonna write about Cahokia Mounds and Supernatural. So in this story, I decided I'm gonna have a shaman because it's Native American. So I was in Chicago and I sought out a shaman at this body, mind, spirit expo. His name was Bluehawks, and he was lovely. I told him I was writing this story, and he said, Let's do a reading. I said, Okay. And he was spot on. It was so incredible, and he just really moved me. So we stayed in touch for a little bit via email, and then a couple months later, I went back and I saw him again, and we talked a little bit more, and I had mentioned I was struggling with my mom. He's like, let's do a healing. So I did a healing with him, and it was really life-changing for me. He then said to me, I think you're here with me for another reason, and I would like to take you under my wing and teach you how to heal yourself and how to work through this grief with your mom. I was also very angry at God for taking my mom from me. So we worked through a lot of that. Um, you know, there's still a lot of grief, obviously, but so he became my mentor on a new spiritual path that I was not expecting to take. But in the meantime, I was still going back and forth to St. Louis, and I would come once a year. Christy was in the area, so I would see her, I would go to Cahokia, I would go to Ponderosa, RIP, most of the Ponderosas. There's like 17 left in the country. Very, very sad. Um, and then I would go back home and write this story. So it took me two years to write this supernatural story. And then when I finished it, I was like, I really like this story. So I pulled it down from the fanfiction site and I decided to make it my own. And in this story, there's a uh two cousins, Sam and Matt. I like the name Sam. Don't be mad at me. Sam! Um, so Sam has lost her mother to pancreatic cancer, and she is finding a way forward to learn more about what her mom was. So I used this story as a catharsis for my own grief to move on. So this continued on for a while and came down to Stevens Point, or Stevens Point, came down to St. Louis and wandered back and forth. In the meantime, we were having some difficulties with my dad. Dad is a campfire for another day, but I will say that in 2010, he started to get really aggressive with my brothers and I. And we were trying to find him a space near one of us to be healthier because he was doing a lot of unhealthy things. He was fighting us every step of the way. So then he got belligerent about wanting the greenhouse back because when my mom died, it came to my brothers and I. And it got to the point where we just said, fine. So we signed it back over to him in May of 2010, and he disowned us. Three weeks later, we get a call from Oakhorn Hospital, and they said, Your dad is in the ICU. So the three of us went up there. He had esophageal cancer, stage four, and a week later he died. And then my connection to the greenhouse was gone. This was my childhood home. As much as there was strife in dealing with all of it, it was still my home. And I really didn't know how to feel about it. So eventually, my brother was able to sell the property in July of 2011. And then the greenhouse was really gone. So from there I knew that I needed to make a change. I put my condo on the market. I lived at the colleague for about a year, and I applied for jobs in St. Louis and finally got down here in 2013. I took a leap forward, I leapt off a mound and landed in St. Louis. It was such a good decision for me. Cahokia is my happy place. When I go, I can meditate, I can walk, I can just be with nature. And it's this just beautiful experience for me. And I love when other people can share it with me. Poor people that wander around that are tourists and they see me, they're like, because I'm like, did you know about the months? And they like run screaming. I'm like, sorry, I just really love this place. So in St. Louis itself has been really good to me. I've done a lot of work volunteering. I've done work with the VA, and during COVID, we did unhoused outreach. And then the near and dear to my heart is refugee resettlement. I have a family up north, and the kids call me Auntie. I've known them for eight years, and they are my family, and they drive me crazy, which is how I know they're my family. Love you. So St. Louis has really been this beautiful journey for me. And through all my processes, I feel like I've been on my own hero's journey that Stephen talked about earlier. Joseph Campbell wrote about character, tragic event happens, they move about, they they go on an adventure, they have good and bad things happen to them, and they come back changed. So I feel like I've had my hero's journey. Through my process of moving forward, I will recap for you. When I was a kid, I was forced into a situation that I did not have control over. So my way to move forward was through escapism and using my imagination to find solace in my situation. And then I had this opportunity to go to college. So I leapt forward and was involved with people from Wisconsin and the country, learning different subjects and just having a wonderful time. Then going to Chicago, being involved with Columbia College, being around world-class faculty, changing my views about diversity and the world in general. And then I leapt off the mound and came here. So my path forward has been its own little hero's journey. And the quintessential hero's journey is actually Luke Skywalker. Yes, I'm going there. Luke had a tragic event. His aunt and uncle got killed. He went around, he found Obi-Wan and Yoda, and then he found out that he had the force, came Jedi master, came back home. So indulge me. This is gonna be a little corny. Luke Skywalker at the end of the Return of the Jedi goes back and he sees Leia, his uh sister, and they go through, and he looks out and he sees his force ghosts who helped him get through this whole process. So I would say that I have also been through my own journey and have my own force ghosts. Oh, we got the music now. So through this whole process, I believe that everything that has happened to us happens for a reason. That all the bad things that happened in the greenhouse, all the things that happened that were wonderful in college and Chicago brought me here to this moment right now. And I would say that my mom and dad and the greenhouse are my force ghosts. And this journey has been a beautiful experience for me. And I'm so grateful that all of you are here today to listen to my story. Thank you so much, and may the force be with you.
Steven:Hey, that is a wrap. Make sure you are notified when our next episodes hit the airwaves by subscribing to the Campfire Storytelling Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. And if you liked what you heard, please leave a review. It helps other people find us and that supports our storytellers. That's pretty neat. We'd love to have you come out to an event or even to take a class. Visit campfire.com. That is cmpfr.com for all the details. A neat little factoid that I get to share is that our live events and all of these episodes are all ad and sponsor-free. We can only do that because of the folks who take the classes and the organizational clients, you know, those nonprofits, universities, foundations that we get to work with. So if you or an organization you work with or for are interested in learning about storytelling and how it can be a positive impact on their team and their work, please tell them to reach out. They can also visit campfire.com. And again, that is the letters cmpfr.com for all the details. I can't end an episode without saying a huge thank you to the Campfire team, to everyone who attends the live events, and most importantly, to our storytellers. Thank you for listening to the Campfire Storytelling Podcast. I've been your host, Steven Harrowitz. Until next time.
