289 - Flow States On and Off the Mat

Today we explore the concept of the flow state and its significance in both physical practices like yoga and everyday life, for enhancing emotional well-being and presence, and fostering a deeper connection with self and others. 

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The music for this episode is Threads by The Light Meeting.
Produced by: Grey Tanner

Transcript

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (00:01.614)
Hello, my loves. Today we are going to be talking about the flow state and why and its impact and using yoga for that, but also the flow state can be achieved in so many other ways besides the physical. And we're gonna kind of dive into all of this and why the hell does it even matter? And I love

teaching from the body, I like that we can have a philosophical conversation and we can get into the emotions of things and the energy of things and the spirituality of things and then flip it in the very next sentence and talk about the head of your femur, right? And we can get really technical and in like the evidence-based science proof sort of way, which I love and in research and you know, I love the balance of all of the things.

And so we can have experiences, all of us, where perhaps you can think of something even right now where when you do it, you lose track of time. Time no longer matters. And you're just gonna do the thing for as long as you wanna do the thing. Now, little asterisks here, if you are a parent and pretty full-time parent of young children,

child, children, doesn't even matter how many, I mean it does, but also just like you're in caretaking role. And if you're full-timing that, this might look a little bit different in this season. And I think it's part of why it's hard. I think that's like a beautiful season. And I have very much been there with my three kids where you're just in it with little kids. And you're not gonna be there forever.

And it can be tricky when you're in the middle of it to feel like you are with yourself because there's so much interruptions. There's so many interruptions often when you have children around that is really hard for your nervous system, for yourself, for your brain, for your body to really get into a project, into a thing. And I think about that season of my life.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (02:27.694)
and where the kids would go to bed. I was like, I'm free. And I felt like my night times were like so precious because it was time I could actually just lean into a project and be in flow where time mattered because I knew I was going to need to go to bed. But also I knew I wasn't going to have to task switch because the kids weren't going to ask me for anything.

So wherever you're at and if you're in that caretaking and you might be caretaking and it might not be children, you might be caretaking of like adult parents or grandparents or siblings, right? So family, friends. So that could be just caretaking in general of other people. And of course then depending on the time that you have available, right? It looks different and.

Gosh, I really know sometimes I just really love to sleep in and I'm like, I just want to like get up. It's also there's a feeling of getting up early. And so as with all things, the time we have in our days is a constant moving thing in different seasons of our lives. And even from month to month and sometimes from day to day, it makes it tricky. But as we sit here right now,

And think about the flow state and why.

Like why, why the hell does it matter? Like why even pursue being in flow state? How does that bring benefit to us? And if I am somebody who really believes that a physical practice, right? Because if you're in your head, you got to get out of your head and into your body. That's how you get your head clear. You got to get into your body in some way. And

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (04:22.706)
that a flow practice, you know I'm all about strength around here and strength makes it all more fun. And like the flow practice itself where we're finding this movement that's really intentionally sequenced and the of the method that I teach in flow school to move us in all directions and in all ways. And you don't have to do the most to make it make sense. you...

can use sun A's and do a chaturanga up dog down dog and it can be a thing for you. So it can look like a lot of different things for the physical practice that when I think about flow and using the body for all it's I will just drop into the moment why. Why? Why do we want that? And why is it beneficial? And how is it gonna support our lives? And how does it support our lives?

both maybe in the moment of, if we're gonna talk flow and specific for the yoga mat, how does that support us in our lives off the mat? Because there's a lot of conversation of both living on the mat and off the mat and having your on the mat practice benefit your life off the mat. So how?

Like why does it make a difference and then how do you have it make a difference? So let's talk about that because really what I'm trying to guide people into and helping teachers learn how to teach through flow school is to help students get into flow state and to help teachers have that experience first because oftentimes they have not had that experience in.

maybe that particular way or that it's been so long that they have been in the practice of yoga. They've done sun salutations a billion times and they've done all of the things that you're like, I know exactly what a yoga practice is going to be when I go into a class. You have to find something different. So I have something different for you that gives you that combination of success and challenge. And that is where we find flow. Okay. So when we talk about the flow state,

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (06:29.134)
I think it's really important to kind of identify what that means a little bit. And I am going to quote a little bit from like, I'm going to be some of my words, but I'm also going to give you some of the words from a book titled flow. And the author is Mihaly I H A L Y. And then the last name starts the C and it's like 20 letters long. So look it up wherever you find books flow by Mihaly.

and the first letter C of his last name. There's a definition of flow in this book and to me flow though is really about this combination of success and challenge. And that when we find this combination of success and challenge, it drops us right in.

In this book, page four, it's a very beginning. Mahali says, flow is the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter. The experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost for the sheer sake of doing it.

So if that's kind of like the general overview of what flow is, okay. But then like we bring in this layer of like, okay, but what is it and how do we like, what's the texture of it? And that's where I think it's success and challenge. So flow is this experience where time disappears and you're so engaged and that you will search out the thing at great lengths because that experience is so rewarding where you are dropped into immense.

presence. And I think this is where it all comes to. When you are in flow state, you are in immense presence. And sometimes in the process of getting there, it can feel highly frictional and uncomfortable. And you're not sure where you're going. You're not sure if you still want to be there. And then if you stay and do the work of like sitting with it, right? And

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (08:38.744)
feeling the challenge and it could be a physical challenge of like, how do I do this thing or discomfort challenge. And this discomfort in like a positive sort of span, like this is, we're here to meet ourselves and where it is a problem to solve that we adore because our brain loves problems. That when we find that the flow state then is this combination of presence,

and of pleasure.

And if you look at children, children are doing things that only feel good. It's kind of like when we look at cats, I look at my cat who just is rolling around in the dirt and laying in the sun and in the winter time, like lounging over the edge of a cat bed in front of the fireplace and just going from that to the food all day long, right? And then in the summertime, like I don't even know where the cat is, like gallivanting outside.

and just truly in pleasure body. And children are the same. They're like, what do they wanna do? Where do they wanna sit? What do they wanna pick up? What do they wanna put in their mouth? How do they wanna like express themselves? They don't feel the rules of what fears or expectations or pressures to perform in a certain way. And they are in their pleasure. And I think that there's something to flow state being this immense

experience of presence that is pleasure because everything disappears and the rules disappear of who you have to be and how you have to be and the shape of your body and how you make your face look right does it have to look smiley and pretty or can you drop all masks and just be in whatever you're in i think that's what it is

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (10:38.698)
And that is absolutely fantastic. So that's what we're going for. And reading in this book flow again, this is talking about that experience of like success and challenge and finding this. It says like all adventures worth having, will not be an easy one without some intellectual effort, commitment to rethink or to reflect and think hard about your own experience.

you will not gain much from all the follows, right? And that when skills match the opportunities for action, that's when you can find flow. Okay, listen to this again. This is so good. When skills match the opportunities for action. So is somebody gonna find flow if the action, the opportunity for action is past what their skill is? No.

Or if their skill is very high and the opportunities for action don't meet what they need or want or are capable of, will they find flow? No. And so can I, like that doesn't mean I can't have different experiences or want, like I don't always need to be in flow state, right? But I'm to use myself as an example. I could do an hour long handstand class and be delighted.

But that doesn't mean that I need to always do that and that time will disappear and I'll be like in my play and in my pleasure and in my presence, like I will be in it. But I can also go to a restorative yoga class and just like lay with some bolsters and be in bliss in that. And that could be a different sort of presence and perhaps even a different sort of flow. And it could be the thing that I need in a different time. So,

It's gonna be, it's like a moving thing, right? Like it doesn't mean it's one thing. can't find, you can find flow state in a lot of things, but I am gonna speak specifically to like finding a movement practice where you have to learn and you have to pay attention and you have to be with it where the skills and the opportunity match. So teaching all levels of Vinyasa classes can be hella hard cause you're like, my gosh, how do I meet all these people in the room and help them be able to find some flow state? This is so much of what I talk about in flow school.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (13:07.313)
where our queuing and the things that we offer need to be clear, concise commanding. People want to be told what to do. They don't want to have to make decisions. It's part of being able to drop into the presence of it that they don't have to have like a bunch of barrage of their head of like, should I do that or should I do that or should I do this? If it's a trauma informed practice, it's very specific to trauma. Let's say like people experiencing a lot of trauma or recovering from lot of trauma, those classes, you can be trauma informed.

regular on the schedule vinyasa classes but the suggestion of like how you move those can be very different actually but you can bring your teachings and sprinkle them within your regular classes but some of those practices and I know from from several people who have taken all these these trainings is a question of like what do you want to do and how do you want to move and and

what is the shape you want to take and whereas there's a lot of questions to give people autonomy to really move in ways that they want. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people who want a clear direction. Put your hand here. We're going to lift this leg up, right? But we can give it in scaled ways where we can say and guide the least demanding thing first.

and then give people the opportunity if they want more, if they want to play with, if they want to try on, if it's experiment that sounds delicious, then try this on subsequent rounds. Repetition is a huge piece of this. So people want clear, concise, commanding, compassionate cues. So you have to make less decisions and they want autonomy. So I think there's a way that we really can blend that together. And yes, it's a skill.

Yes, it's built over time, but it's very much possible. Okay, so when skills match opportunities for action, this is part of like our inner experience and this inner experience that then can find flow. Okay, so reading more. The pursuit of a goal brings order in awareness because a person must concentrate attention on the task at hand and momentarily forget everything else.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (15:17.642)
These periods of struggling to overcome challenges are what people find the most enjoyable times of their lives.

most concentrate attention on the task at hand and momentarily forget everything else. These periods of struggling to overcome challenges are what people find to be the most enjoyable times of their lives.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (15:44.226)
when you have to solve a problem and you don't know how to, this is why I think of it being a movement puzzle. This movement puzzle, how are you gonna do it? How's your body gonna get to this place? And can I guide you as a teacher in a way that can help you learn how to do that and to scale it in a way that your skill can match then the opportunity for action.

This is amazing, right? So I love teaching people who one, think that yoga is boring or two, have been practicing yoga for a long time and have been practicing in ways that are really rooted in sun salutations and also in kind of a dancing warrior series, which a lot of triangle, like warrior two triangle, half moon, extended side angle, like a combination of those, or just holding chair for a long time and calling that.

hard practice, right? And I am not against those practices at all. There's so many ways to be right, but I love bringing in a different level of flow because repetition is going to be part of this and breath is a huge piece of this and is really impactful.

And when we can drop into this kind of flow state experience, so this is like the what is it? And now why, right? Because we are looking to have lives that feel deeply satisfying, that we are here just for a short time, truly. And we have today. And if we are,

Dragging our heels through our lives.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (17:36.5)
Is that living?

on how do you let your life all the way in. I think it's this. One more quote from the book.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (17:52.002)
The most important step in emancipating oneself from social controls is the ability to find rewards in the events of every moment. If a person learns to enjoy and find meaning in the ongoing stream of experience, in the process of living itself, the burden of social controls automatically falls from one's shoulder.

If a person learns to enjoy and find meaning in the ongoing stream of experience in the process of living itself, the burden of social controls automatically falls from one's shoulders. friends, we are here to learn to enjoy and find meaning in the process of living itself.

and this constant stream of experience. I love that the word stream is used here. I use the analogy of a river often. I even think about where, if you've ever seen where a freshwater river meets ocean, a freshwater river is usually, it's dirty as in has dirt that's floating in it. And the ocean.

The dirt, the way the salt connects to dirt particles, it drops the dirt particles down to the bottom. So it's just settled to the bottom. But in a river that doesn't have salt and the dirt sediments can be floating in the water. So if you look up pictures, like look up a video of where ocean and freshwater meet, and it looks like there's a hard line between them, but there's not. It's mixing underneath and as soon as the salt water touches the freshwater and the salt,

attaches to the dirt, then it drops and it's slowly starting to integrate together. The things are together. And thinking of this place of where do we find the stream in our life? How do we find flow in the experience and in the process of it where we don't fight against something the whole time we're alive but that we move with it. And this is why I think finding a flow state in your body

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (20:12.726)
And with a movement practice can be so impactful because it gets you out of your head into your body. Now, can I find this in painting? Yes. Can I find, do I find it in that? Yes. Do I find it in cooking? Yes. Do I find it in moving my bodies in other ways that are not on the mat? Yes. Do I find it in writing poetry? Yes, absolutely. So in gardening, gardening, yeah, a hundred percent. So there's like a lot of other ways you can find it, but of course I'm here to definitely talk about the ways you can do it on the mat.

And when we think about being strong, right, in this practice of paying attention, where our attention goes makes a huge difference. And it is this presence. Can you have your attention here in the present moment? And it's easier when you have this combination of success and challenge, right? Where the concentration of the, like that intellectual effort and the concentration on the task, right? The opportunities meet the action.

Okay, so it's important.

because we're here and because we want to have meaningful lives and we actually want to enjoy them.

Sometimes people ask me, why are you for work? And my work is my life. I can jump in here and podcast and go out and make lunch. And this is what I've created and I'm not trying to escape from anything. And what would it be like if we built our lives full send, like we're not trying to escape from anything?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (21:55.884)
And I am all for people to like have all different sorts of jobs and to, regardless of what work you do and where you do it, and we all do lots of different types of work, We are in a lot of different roles in our lives, but wherever you are, to practice the sort of presence that brings pleasure.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (22:21.408)
and to actually enjoy it while we're here.

So why then? Let's have a moment here. Why?

or how can this impact our lives off the mat?

and having a practice of dropping into a flow state. So like, why is it important? And kind of how we get there is like a kind of a big part of it. And I'm like, just come to flow school. Flow school online is a membership and we're going to be meeting quarterly for immersives and it's going to be a weekend experience. So that first one's going to be happening in October.

We're going to have, we have twice a month meetups where I teach a class life only for people who are teachers. And then we get to talk about it. And then we have our monthly focuses. And so there's like that available and immersives. The immersive for November is sold out in Portland, but April is coming. So come join me in flow school, the how we do it. How do you build something that helps people drop in and how our breath and repetition, a huge part of that. So there's that.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (23:36.846)
I'm not gonna spend time on that for this moment, come to flow school. But then how does it directly impact and how then can it bring more presence and more pleasure to our lives off the mat? Okay, real life y'all.

There was one time, gosh, I heard one of my kids be like, mom, and they do like this call where you're like, something's gone down. Like whatever I'm gonna walk into is not gonna be good. It's like a loud call and a certain tone and you kinda just hold your breath a little bit, cause you know it's not gonna be pretty. And this one particular time.

I heard the call upstairs and I went upstairs and I had a kid in the bathroom and he is older. He's like, no, this is not a toddler. This is like, you know, an eight year old who definitely knows how to take care of himself for the bathroom and everything, but had explosive diarrhea. Y'all, I...

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (25:03.5)
I don't know how all of that was possible.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (25:10.85)
I kind of just pushed the door open, like the floor, the side of the tub, up the cabinets, up the wall, all across the baseboard. And then there was a cat litter box and it was up underneath the bottom edge lip of the cat box, up the toilet. This is a whole, this is you're gonna have a poop story today. And then like all over him, all over the clothes. And I'm standing at the edge of the door, which it didn't even get on the carpet. was like, wow, this is impressive.

but the entire bathroom. And I just stood there. the ricochet. And he's concerned and like about like the work was, and I was sweet. And I was like, that's okay. And stuff like those moments as a parent, you're like, nobody is coming to do this for me.

I 100 % have to do this and there's so many times of that in our lives. Nobody's coming. This gets to be you. And so how will you approach it? And it comes from the inside out. That's how we live from the inside out. So how do you drop into that moment? This is not how to be something I enjoy, but the way I respond from the inside out is gonna make a huge difference here. How do I let my voice

be an expander in the situation where I can drop into presence with myself and with what is in front of me and who is in front of me to be able to bring ease where I'm up for this challenge and I know how to succeed. Let us find some flow in this right? That this is like how do I use the flow practice? How do I use the time that if I'm going to take the time out of my day to lean into a physical practice where I am

helping myself drop into flow state. This is teaching me the ability to control my body and also free it. It does both. And so when I drop into this experience with my kid and diarrhea, I know how to control my body. I know how to be with the situation. I know that my words

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (27:31.192)
can create great impact on my kid and on my own experience. And we take a breath, because we know that breath is important, and we start small and slow.

and then it will move. And so that's what we did, right? So with kids, there are a billion times for you to practice being in flow and the incessantness of always having them in your life, right?

And whether it's, you know, diarrhea or whether it's frustrated moment where one of the one of the parenting tactics I use when my kids were especially younger that I love to share sometimes with some people, some close friends is when small children are freaking out because they're they want something and then they're not getting it and they don't feel like people are listening to them and they start getting loud and they're screaming for something. Let's say

Somebody wants a cookie, right? And they're crying and it becomes this whole thing. Now, you could react against this and get louder with them and tell them no and make up excuses for the things. And maybe it's right and maybe it's not. I don't know, it doesn't matter. But one of the things I found really helpful was to drop into the presence with the kid. And so to respond in a voice loud enough, but not angry.

so the kid could actually hear me. So if their voice is escalating and they want the cookie, then I would repeat the phrase back to them. I'd say, so you want a cookie? And I make it a question, not a shaming thing and not a put down, but an acknowledgement that I hear them. And then they automatically, uh-huh, because they know that you heard them. So how does flow state?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (29:31.03)
and a flow practice and a solo experience on the mat help you, it can drop you into the present with your kids, which is a forever practice to say, I can be here, to slow down enough and to meet the experience. And then to say, be able to give some sort of response to this kid that helps them know that you are paying attention, you hear them. That's huge.

Of course, then this extends to teens and processing stress or friendships or mental health like it continues on as they grow. This can pertain to lovers and partners and friends and people you work with and the grocery checker and the person driving in front of you that is so slow and maybe people who are less generous to you or snarky or rude.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (30:25.794)
the way that we live our lives and the way that we find flow and learn how to find control in the way of like not control as constrict as constriction or like making things smaller, but in fact, helping us have more options to choose. So we have the freedom to move. Like that's what we're going for. And that's what I think that

Having the experience of flow state can teach us and having this place where we have a playground to play with control and surrender of the blending of things, of blending success and challenge of skill and opportunity. And why? Because we don't want to drag our heels the whole time we're alive.

I guess we want to enjoy this because we have today.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (31:36.376)
So I know not every class is gonna feel like flow state. Not every moment is gonna feel like float state that you want to feel like flow state, but it will come. But as this quote that I have tacked up for years, like Pablo Picasso, inspiration exists, but it has to find you working. So keep putting yourself in there. And if you're interested, come find me in flow school.

You can come move with me. If you're like, I just want to move in classes. This sounds interesting. I have an online studio called Studio B. Online flow school is also part of the studio, but they're two different memberships. If you want the practice membership or the flow school membership, flow school membership gives you every single thing in there. Practice membership gives you all the classes, all the movement classes. So that's an option. Come move your body. Come flow. And if this resonated with you, I love.

to hear about it. Share us on social, share it with a friend, send me a message, all the things. Sending y'all