The Writers Block

Chap10: Pocket Trolls with KC Johnston! [fantasy]

November 29, 2019 The Writers Block Season 1 Episode 10
The Writers Block
Chap10: Pocket Trolls with KC Johnston! [fantasy]
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

The season/chapter finale is here!  On tonight's episode of The Writers Block, we chat with audiobook narrator and writer KC Johnston of the Storytale Podcast and Odd Portal Studio!

At the 19:00 minute mark, KC Johnston joins us in our usual shenanigans as we improvise a tale of a Sheriff Were-hog, a half-fey girl and a miniature (officially "Pocket") troll called Milferd!

At the 40:30 mark, join us for our first post-story conversation!

Clarence Carter author link:
https://www.facebook.com/ClarenceCarterAuthor/
KC Johnston links:
https://kcjohnstoncreates.com
https://twitter.com/kcjohnstonreads
https://www.facebook.com/KCJohnstonCreates/
The Writers Block Podcast links:
https://www.facebook.com/thewritersblockofficial/
https://www.patreon.com/writersblockpodcast
Keith Talbot link:
https://www.facebook.com/KTArtAndPhotography/

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chap10-pocket-trolls-with-kc-johnston-fantasy

 U1 

 0:00 

 Well, you know, I've been talking to you. I just finished well, a couple of weeks ago now. Salvage title. Um, I was I know that you just. Okay, so we are recording, by the way. I 

 U2 

 0:11 

 figured. Yeah, I got it. I started recording a little bit ago. Yeah. Okay. 

 U1 

 0:13 

 Yeah. You're good. I completely forgot to tell you to record. Uh. All right. That is lucky and good. Um, well, now we are. Here. We are mid-conversation. This is how we like to do things. Impromptu. Uh, and we have our first official guest of the season on our season finale. And this is this episode might run a little longer. I'm fully expecting that. Um, so we have Casey Johnston from Texas. Where in Texas are you from? 

 U2 

 0:39 

 I'm in the Houston area now, but I grew up in a little town called orange, Texas. It's bordering Texas. Louisiana. Yeah, it's, uh, the right amount of country and the right amount of bayou. 

 U1 

 0:48 

 Nice. Nice. So. And Casey is an audiobook narrator slash podcast runner, where he also does audiobook stuff, and he is a writer himself. So Casey, I guess I'll, we'll just. Unless. Clarence, you have any questions, we'll just 

 U3 

 1:03 

 let you. Um, actually, I do, um, I wanted you to take this opportunity to, uh, promote the anthology that you just did. All right. 

 U1 

 1:12 

 Thank you. Um, so, to promote the anthology, I'll take it a step back. My journey into narration started with storytelling podcast. As as, uh, Carter knows, um, which, if you look it up, it's story, tale, tale. It's actually not, um, available right now. I am finding a new distribution channel for the podcast, and I'm going to re-upload all the episodes. Um, and then I'll make an announcement on my Facebook. Just Casey Johnston creates pretty much everywhere, uh, get that little plug in. Um, but, uh, and then I'll update when that's all back up, because I also to those authors that allowed me to read their stories. Yes, they got professional quality narration or not just professional, they got a professional narration of their story, but they also were willing to allow me to narrate those stories and use them for the podcast. So I owe it to them as well to get it back out there. I'm going between using another another distribution channel like I did before for the RSS feeds or trying to host it on my own website, so I'll probably have that figured out in the next week or two, and I'll start getting them all re-uploaded. Um. But I did the audiobooks in an effort to or the audiobook podcast, an effort to get myself prepared for narration. Mhm. Um, anything I've gone into, I try to, especially if I'm going to charge people for it, if I'm going to be on a professional venue like audible. Um, to me it has to be 

 U2 

 2:38 

 professional. Quality work has to be right up there with the names that have been doing it for five, ten, 15 years. Um, just the way my, my brain works. So, um, formerly I was a fine woodworker and blacksmith, and I have what's called essential tremors, and my hands shake really bad. My dexterity was going up, and I've always done weird voices. So my dad had been after me for a long time, saying every after every audiobook he listened to, he was like, hey, you know, you could do that, right? So eventually I just said, I wonder if I can, because I figured out that I needed to make a transition artistically because I wasn't going to be able to do the blacksmithing and woodworking, um, forever. And so as my hands and dexterity started to go, I got more serious about looking. Eventually I started saving up for a microphone, and then I saved up for recording space. And then I saved up for coaching. And then I started storytelling podcast. And then I auditioned to early for actual audiobooks and landed a few, but I wasn't prepared to get them. And so those got delayed. And then salvage Title came around at the right, at the exact right time. And salvage title was actually my very first actually get out on audible. 

 U1 

 3:53 

 Oh, interesting. Um, 

 U2 

 3:55 

 most narrators actually look back on their first book, it seems, at least from this is anecdotal, just from talking to others. They seem to look back on their first book and they go, oh, why? Oh, I wish I hadn't done that. And I look back and even though it's only been let's see, it was December last year that it that it went out and went live or no is November 27th. It went live. Um, I 

 U1 

 4:19 

 didn't realize. So almost right at a year. Yeah. So I look back on that and I go, I'm proud of that. Yeah. You know. Yes. There's things that I do better now. I feel like every new audiobook is my best work so far, but I'm proud of it, you know? And I love working with Kevin Stephenson, the author. He's excellent. The publisher, Chris Kennedy. Yeah. Um, with the books. Uh, they're they're they're awesome. And so, um, got that first series out of the way, and, uh, I did, uh, Devil's Gunman is through the same publisher as well. Um, all under the Chris Kennedy publishing umbrella. And I've done a couple other space rogues and bridge world, and I've got several others on the docket. I'm going to be working with Falstaff Books and John Harkness come to the first of the year. But all of that rambling to say that I've always been a writer, but. 

 U2 

 5:16 

 Have very rough around the edges. And actually, Carter, your your editor, Lou, uh, really helped me out a lot, which is why I suggested, um, suggested him, and he helped me with mine because I was. It was bad. I mean, the kernel of a good story, but it was bad. Yeah. And so, um, I got the opportunity to reach out, or I got the opportunity to submit a story for Salvage Conquest, which is a anthology in the salvage title universe. And I took my time and, I mean, I spent like six weeks just on an 8000 word story. Yeah. And, uh, they accepted it. Um, it was an invite only, um, anthology. And they sent me an invite. Made it very clear the story had to stand on its own. No favors beyond an invite. So. 

 U1 

 6:05 

 And, uh, the salvage series, is it three books plus conquest. 

 U2 

 6:10 

 Three books, plus conquest. You don't have to listen to the or listen or read. I always prefer to listen, of course, but you don't have to read the first three in order to enjoy conquest. Um, it will be out in audio. Um. 

 U1 

 6:21 

 Are you? We're probably going to 

 U2 

 6:22 

 do. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll be narrating it. Um, Kevin has another novel. Uh, hide the Lightning. It's in the salvage title universe that comes out, I believe. And I could be wrong. I believe it's November 18th in print, and I'm going to try to get that one done for December. Out in audio. That guy is on. Um, and so we'll actually be doing that before we do the anthology. 

 U3 

 6:46 

 Kevin is on fire. I saw you put out like 20 books this 

 U1 

 6:48 

 year. Yeah. So so you did salvage. You did salvage title last year, right? Yeah. 

 U2 

 6:53 

 So salvage title, um, was my first narration was November 27th when it launched last year. And 

 U1 

 6:58 

 how long ago? How long after? Uh, the actual release of the book was that? Um. 

 U2 

 7:05 

 That was probably about two months after the print book. 

 U1 

 7:07 

 So this guy is just pumping out this franchise? Yeah, 

 U2 

 7:11 

 I mean, he he's a machine. Um, uh, it's one of those you if you look at the the stable of authors and the quality of stories that comes from Chris Kennedy Publishing KP um, it's pretty incredible. Their, uh, their output, especially in comparison to the quality, you know, indie publishing is very much a hit or miss. I'm all for indie publishing when it's done right and people take their time and, you know, they're not just writing to, you know, get as many words out there as possible. Yeah. And then don't care about editing and everything else. Um. But KCP somehow they they put out book after book after book after book. And it's really really high quality and some I'm very happy to work with them. I'm happy that they start brought the beginnings of my career and full circle and allowed me to be a part. It's very fitting to me that Salvage Conquest has my first published written works, along with salvage title being my first published audio work. So it was very it was a very special for me to be included in that especially. I mean, there's Brad Torgerson, he won the Dragon Award for best sci fi this past year. Um, you got John Harkness, you've got Kevin Eikenberry, Quincy, Jay Allen, John 

 U3 

 8:33 

 Harkness, um, 

 U1 

 8:35 

 so many, so many others in that anthology. And I'm just I'm honored to be there. Um, along with them, the name of my story is What's our ship's name? And, uh, I read it, I, I enjoy it. But it was an awesome story. I can't wait! Yeah, because I haven't seen or heard any of your actual stories yet. But besides, you know, narrating other people's stories. So. And after hearing all your voices, I'm curious to hear your story plus your voices of your own characters, because you pull off some incredibly diverse voices, like within one discussion, like, uh, the troll one, uh, not trolls, the orc, the dark 

 U3 

 9:15 

 story. I said the same thing. Oh, 

 U1 

 9:17 

 well, you got the. Yeah. And then you've got the three orcs and they all have. You have you have a distinct lisp voice. I notice it's like not a regular character, but I because I noticed, uh, Z what's his name is, uh, Z salvage story. Yeah. Yeah, it's a similar voice. It's not the same voice, but it's a it's a trope that you run with, and I love it. Yeah. So I don't know. I have, um, I have certain voices in my head or I guess I have certain characterizations rather to voices in my head, and I changed the tone of it depending on what, who the actual character is. Yeah. Um, yeah. I mean, I really appreciate that, y'all. Y'all noticed that because I really work hard on the voices, um, you know, right, wrong or otherwise, I've been told by more established and seasoned narrators that I should have, you know, man, a voice in my back pocket for anyone that's not main character and kind of recycle that. Um, and, and that's all fine. But for Salvaged System, the third book in the salvage title, um, trilogy, the initial trilogy, I have 86 distinct character files with with the voices in there. Well, I actually I make a character file for any character that's in. You know, more than two pages or two chapters or something like that. I'll actually make a character character file and I'll save it in a little folder called characters. And if they pop up again, I'll bring that back up and listen to it. And, uh, you know, I listen to it and I kind of copy myself in it and go on about it. And that's how I keep it consistent. Because because 

 U2 

 10:59 

 I do utilize all those different voices and accents and things like that so far. Knock on wood. Um, I think I've done a pretty decent job of learning new accents because naturally I don't have all of these accents. When I when I start out, I have some of them, but not all of them want to start out. So I remember 

 U3 

 11:17 

 you talking about that before, and you were saying that you would walk around the house for a few days talking in accents and practicing and driving your wife crazy. 

 U2 

 11:25 

 Yeah. So, uh, so speaking of, uh, Story Tell podcast earlier, Lou J. Berger, your editor, my friend and your friend now, too, I would assume. Yeah. Um, he wrote leaving Bordeaux for a storyteller podcast, and I didn't have a French accent, and I just I just never cultivated one for whatever reason. So, um, one of the emcees in that story or one of one of the main characters, not the main character, but one of is a French lady. And I had to have a French accent. So for about two weeks leading up to that, um, recording, I talked to my wife very frequently in that same French lady accent in order to to cultivate it, because my French accent was garbage. So I had to I had to get that nailed down. So Lou likes to make fun of me now, and, uh, he's he's expanded the story to I walked around in a maid outfit talking in a French lady accent. 

 U1 

 12:25 

 So. 

 U3 

 12:26 

 Oh, crap. Um, I've actually got to drop my announcement, too. We talked it. The, um. 1s The pseudonyms have been broken. We talked about it on the last episode. Um, 

 U1 

 12:38 

 but do you do you know about his 

 U3 

 12:41 

 name? He knows about the pseudonym. We talked about it. 

 U2 

 12:43 

 Oh, yeah? Who doesn't know about it? 

 U3 

 12:48 

 So, um, Zimbabwe House publishing put out a anthology called The Boss, and it's available as of, like, I don't know, two, three, maybe three days ago. Four days ago. And, uh, you guys got to buy it. The Wolfgang Domino story is out. It's called Lady Lawyer. Buy it. Check it out. I've been 

 U1 

 13:07 

 thinking about, um, including a character called Wolfgang in one of our stories. Just hiding your pseudonym in there. Okay, 

 U3 

 13:15 

 that sounds good. 1s Uh, so that's that's my announcement, and I should be getting my copy, which will be a giveaway for the podcast. A copy of this anthology will be a giveaway. I don't know when, depending on when we get it, I guess. Yeah. 

 U2 

 13:30 

 Congratulations on that, man. 

 U3 

 13:31 

 Thanks. We're all up to up to some awesome nonsense. Yeah, 

 U1 

 13:36 

 yeah, I'm. So how much of, uh, this show have you caught up on? I know you're behind. 

 U2 

 13:42 

 I'm behind. I've listened to. I listened to the pilot and I think two others, but I don't know that they were in order. 

 U1 

 13:49 

 Okay, so most importantly is, you know, about Lansky's Pub, 1s the bar. 

 U2 

 13:54 

 Um, yeah. There's there's typically we try to, I think in episode 3 or 4, it's very subtle, but we've been trying to, like, make that the regular meet up, even if it's it's a brief moment. Just just the tip of the cap thing. Meet me at lansky's. Basically. 2s Um, 

 U1 

 14:13 

 that's all you really need to know that. And I told you what genres we've covered. We just want to kind of diversify it for the season. But I it's season finale, so fucking anything goes. And and 

 U3 

 14:23 

 we're gonna let you take the coin toss because you're the, the 

 U1 

 14:25 

 guest. And I fully expect some voices from you. Although I'm wondering how I'm going to carry it if we have to take it. 

 U2 

 14:35 

 All right. So so just to clarify for myself, this goes where, um, it's not necessarily a sentence, but it's a, a short part of the scene by me than Sean, Clarence or Clarence. Me, Sean, however it goes, you, you carry and carry it as long as you're just carrying the story on, 

 U1 

 14:52 

 we'll go. Okay. This way. So I don't know if that is translating 1s me, Clarence or no, you, me, Clarence. And we'll just keep going that way. Unless. Unless one of us really has, like, something we need to interject with. We do it and we just jump in. All right. And then, you know, if you if you pick up on any inconsistencies based on what we've told so far, you have every right to buzz whoever is talking and say, all right. And 

 U2 

 15:21 

 have you all mentioned the that each of us is going to be working in? 

 U1 

 15:26 

 No, we haven't dropped in the keywords yet. So, 

 U3 

 15:30 

 so each one of us has a set of what is it, five 

 U1 

 15:32 

 keywords. Yes. So I found a word random word generator. Both of you should have your words. Yeah. Uh, and we haven't done this yet, but we wanted to make this more of a game. Um, so we're. This is an experiment, so you don't have to use your words, but if it helps you. And then we'll talk about it afterwards and maybe try to guess what each other is. 

 U2 

 15:54 

 Well, I'm gonna 2s I'm going. I'm 

 U3 

 15:57 

 going hard. I'm getting all of them. 

 U1 

 16:00 

 Yeah. 

 U2 

 16:00 

 Even if it doesn't get all of y'all's words to. And I don't even know what words yours are. 

 U3 

 16:04 

 Haha. Yes. Well, Clarence can see over. I can see he's looking at my envelope. I got a, uh, an old check that I've been writing on since, like the second episode, because we started making some ridiculous names, so I had to just literally one episode had, well, like, like seven different 

 U1 

 16:21 

 characters. Yeah. And they all had three names apiece. So I've got names and, uh, story plots here, so feel free to write down key plot details or whatever if you feel you need to keep track of stuff. 

 U2 

 16:35 

 All right, that sounds good. So if I get quiet, that's me trying to write it down because my brain is slow. 

 U3 

 16:42 

 Oh, no. Well, and then the other thing we do is, uh, I might cut this out, but we we we cut out long pauses because it's not live. So it is completely improvised, but we want the final product to be a flowing story and a little sharper. 

 U1 

 16:58 

 So I'll keep in some pauses. I'll keep in some laughter. You know, I keep a balance of the story, plus us just having a good time. And then I add the music in the background. Just give it a 

 U2 

 17:10 

 radius. Sounds like a plan. All right. Sounds like a plan to me. I will, uh. I'll try to make you all proud. 

 U1 

 17:17 

 Uh. I'm sure. Keep in mind, just because I can learn all accents doesn't mean I know all accents in the moment. 2s Stay tuned after the story for a bonus conversation, and be sure to check out and stay up to date with Casey's audio work at Casey Johnston creates.com and on most social media platforms at Casey Johnston creates on Twitter, at Casey Johnston Reads and on Facebook at Casey Johnston creates an odd portal studio. And while we're on the subject, if you're feeling generous or just enjoying the series so far, please consider donating or subscribing to the official writer's block. Patreon at Patreon.com forward slash writers block official. And while we're still on the subject, you can follow Clarence Carter on his Facebook page at Clarence Carter Author Page and our artist Keith Talbot at CTR and photography. But fear not writer's block as all these links will be posted in the episode description and our Facebook page at the Writer's Block official. And now back to our story running. She found herself wondering how she got into this mess. Was she the cause of this madness? Did 

 U2 

 18:22 

 it come from within her? The magic? The 

 U1 

 18:25 

 beast? Who could know? She sure didn't. She was running as fast as she could through a field of grass. It was early morning, and she. She didn't know where she was going, but up ahead she could see the old village appearing over the horizon. The sun was beginning to rise and outlining some of the buildings in a soft silhouette. And out of nowhere suddenly came a weaselly voice. Hey, Clarissa! Shocked, she stubbed her toe on the ground and fell forward and rolled over and down the hill. 

 U3 

 18:58 

 When she landed back first, she was anxious, feeling confused and a little dizzy. She saw something crawling out of a hole coming towards her and it spoke again. Hey, Clarissa, you just tripped over my house, it said, and its weaselly little voice, and it took her a moment, a little disoriented at first, and she realized that what was talking to her was a miniature 

 U2 

 19:20 

 troll. But. But you can't exist. You're a you're a gnome. I'm not a gnome. I'm a troll, you idiot! He said a troll, but. Trolls aren't real. Or you're looking at one, aren't you? I. Where did you come from? I just said you stepped on my house, lady, he proclaimed, raising his fist at 

 U1 

 19:41 

 her. It's tiny. His tiny, tiny, tiny little fists, each a little bit smaller than an ant. This was a mini troll. Many trolls were thought to have gone extinct. And this is what the writer's block is all about. Many trolls, many, 

 U2 

 19:57 

 many, many troll. It's it's the miniature of the miniature 

 U1 

 20:00 

 mini trolls were thought to have gone exist a long, long time ago in the land of Arjun. Hey aloud. Much older voice came from the bottom of the hill at the foot of the village. This was not a tiny troll, it was a human. In fact, it was the sheriff of that little village that she had been running towards. Hey! Clarissa looked around quickly, frantic, not knowing what else to do. She reached out and grabbed the little mini troll, took him from his home and shoved him in his in her pocket and then stood up, brushing her coat 

 U3 

 20:32 

 off. You're coming with me, little guy. She jammed him in the pocket and began to run. She looked over her shoulder, terrified that the sheriff was catching up to her. She ran and ran. Hey, let me out! The little troll screamed, slapping the edge of her pocket in her leg, trying to break free from the denim prison, and she flicked her pocket to make him sit still. Hey, that's abuse and kidnapping, he shouted, and she's like, hush, it'll all be worth it. Just stay with me. And Clarissa ran away from the village and towards the woods, where she knew that the sheriff would never find 

 U1 

 21:02 

 her. For Clarissa knew that the sheriff wasn't really a human. Not fully anyways. He was aware creature of sorts, and it was getting towards nighttime. So she ran and she ran, huffing and puffing. All the while the little troll beat against her thigh within her pocket. Hey, you cannot bind me. You can't. You can't keep me in here. Be quiet. I had to take you with me. If he found you, he would have destroyed you. He destroys all magical creatures. And so she ran further and further into 

 U2 

 21:32 

 the forest until she got to a sandy and silty, silty part, a sandy and silty basin hiding behind a tree. She rested, pulling the troll out. So what's your name, anyway? Wouldn't you like to know? I have questions of my own. My 

 U3 

 21:47 

 name is Milford, the troll said. And how do you know about the sheriff? And how do you know about what he's been doing to my people? And. He sniffed her. And your people too. He said, smelling the hint of magic on Clarissa's skin. Well, I didn't want to have to tell it to you this way, Milford. But he killed my parents. You 

 U2 

 22:06 

 see, I'm not fully human either. My mother was a fey. My father was just a normal farmer. Imagine the surprise he had after they got married. If you're a fey, where are your wings? I said I'm half fey. I don't have wings. At least not ones you can see. Anyways, he seeks out all magical creatures. He's been chasing me from village to village. I didn't know that he ran this whole territory. Okay, so what do we do now? And why did you take me from my home? He would have never found me. He would have sniffed you out. He always does. Especially since he saw me talking to someone. Okay, so what do we do now? Well, 

 U1 

 22:40 

 actually, if I'm being honest, I think that we should go back to the village. What? The village? You just took me from my home, and now we're in a sandy, salty, silty basin. And you're telling me that you're half magic and you want to go back to where that sheriff rules? Well, yeah. And then Milford remembered that the girl had been running in, nearly stepped on his home when he met her. Well, hey, say, wait a minute. Why were you running in the first place? I've never seen someone running so fast and panic in my entire tiny life. Well, that's just the thing the sheriff has been capturing and locking up all the magical creatures in the village that he can. And. And I have been sneaking into the village and attempting to free everyone that I can, assuming everyone was good, but there was one medium sized half dragon creature that convinced me to unlock his cell, and he promised me gold coins. But then when I let him out, something bad happened. The sky started to darken. Just bad things started to happen, and I think, I think I did a bad thing. 

 U3 

 23:42 

 Larissa lifted Milford in her hand and looked at him closely. I know it's asking a lot of you, Milford, but I want to go back. I want to go back into the town, and I want to free some of your people, and I want to free some people that I knew to some other phase and some other trolls. What little bit are left? And I want to defeat the sheriff once and for all. Now, I know that there's this little gun shop in town, and it's been there for a long time, and it's kind of dusty from disuse. But a gunsmith told me that he left a couple of rifles in the floorboards just in case, because he thought something like this was happening. And I think if we go back, we might just be able to lift them up and use them and defeat the sheriff. And perhaps we can stop all this vulgar nonsense. 

 U2 

 24:26 

 I think that what we can do is with your size, that's the key to the puzzle, to defeating him. We can find where the sheriff has hidden all the silver bullets, as he is aware, creature, after all. But we also need to go back to my original home on the other side of the village. We'll have to sneak. The sheriff lives there now. And we need to find my. My mother's old book of spells. You see, simply silver bullets alone won't do it. We will have to enchant them as well. I guess that makes a certain kind of sense, but. Why not just leave? Why not just go far from here? Because he's never going to stop. He's always going to do this. And so with that, they left circling back around out of the basin, through the trees and cutting a new path, forging a new path of their own through the forest, back and around to try to reach the village. Just as night is falling. 

 U1 

 25:17 

 The village was now lit up in an entirely different way, with instead of the sun silhouetted the buildings, the moon silhouetted the buildings and spilling out onto the street. It was a bright full moon, which Clarissa noted because the sheriff was aware of creature and she had to admit she didn't know much about where creatures, but she knew about where wolves. So she just kind of had to assume that something bad might happen. Now, while she was walking, she was feeding the tiny troll, little tiny crumbs of crumbs of bread, of a loaf of bread that she had gotten the day before from the old bread lady, Penny, the bread lady. And the troll was just sitting there contemplating like it always did. It was a very contemplative, philosophical, tiny troll, and it actually found itself very comfortable inside Clarissa's denim pocket. And for once, it realized that maybe it had found its true home. For. You see, the troll had not been all honest in the beginning. His home, so to speak, was actually one of many homes that he had had in the past year because he was a vagabond mini troll and he was always just sleeping around and with different troll ladies. And he was he was lost and and now he found that he was happy in this denim pocket, contemplating things 

 U3 

 26:41 

 and enjoying pocket bread from the pocket from the red lady. It's really cold out here, Milford said. I'm freezing. I don't remember it being this cold yesterday. Clarissa put a handkerchief in her pocket to help warm Milford as they marched forward towards the gun shop. Well, we'll, uh, we'll start a fire once we're out of the gun shop and we're safe distance away, or we'll find an empty house to sleep inside, she said as she continued down the village, watching carefully around every corner, looking, searching, wondering if the sheriff was watching her from the distance. He had a couple of lackeys to she didn't know them as well, and only had come across them a couple of times when they guarded the cells, but she thought that they might be out there waiting, watching, lurking around the corner. And she opened the door to the gun store and she looked inside, hoping that there was nobody in there. And there wasn't, and she protruded through the door, stepping on each floorboard, hoping to hear a creak or a snap or a loose board or something. And after ten minutes or so of this, she heard one of them eerily creak, unlike any of the others. And she said, I've got it. 

 U1 

 27:49 

 Pulling the the floorboard back just slightly, she noticed one rifle sitting there. It looked old and dusty. She wasn't sure she knew how to operate it, but she figured she had to try pulling it out from the floorboard. She left the covering to the floorboard slightly ajar, observing the silver of the rifle next to the wood grain, and wondering if her and Milford could actually do this. She closed the floorboard back together, dusted all around to get rid of any of the movement showing to the floorboard, and snuck back to the front door. As she got there, she noticed shadows in the moonlight, in the moonlight. Of the full moon. She peered through the window before opening the door, only to see the sheriff in his true form along with his two lackeys. He 

 U2 

 28:39 

 was aware. Hogg, you must find her. I smell her little. Her little self all around. 1s Ah! She's here. She's come back. But why? 

 U1 

 28:53 

 I 

 U2 

 28:56 

 don't know, said the tall, lanky one with a bit of a stutter. The short and fat one next to him said, well, we'll find a boss. And they went off, running around as if looking for something, but they didn't know what for. They didn't even know what Clarissa looked like after all. 

 U1 

 29:12 

 But 1s you find her and you bring her to me. 2s She's the last. 

 U2 

 29:20 

 The last of the magical creatures. I need them all. But they knew what she smelled like because the sheriff had retrieved a piece of tattered clothing that had ripped off of Clarissa when she had freed the dragon, the middle sized dragon men. Milford suddenly sneezed. And as all magical creatures know, tiny trolls have abnormally loud sneezes. And it must have been because it was an old dusty denim jacket and the the old dusty gun and the old dusty gun shop. And while we're on the subject, why the hell are we looking for guns in the floor at a gun shop anyway? She thought to herself, and she fell backwards onto the floor outside one of the where hogs turned his head quickly towards the gun shop. Take it. I'm trying. I'm trying to avoid doing the voice. I don't want to ruin it. 

 U1 

 30:15 

 You can't 

 U2 

 30:15 

 ruin it. Just do it. Um. 

 U1 

 30:16 

 You do it. I'm not doing it. 

 U3 

 30:20 

 The the two lackeys. The two lackeys heads whip around to look at the door of the gun shop, and Clarissa ducks below the window. They're coming! Milford whispers. I know, and she crawls across the floor, trying to stay below as she hears them creeping up onto the steps and jiggling the handle of the door, Clarissa sneaks out the back door, rolls out of out of sight. Just in time, just as the lackeys open the door. There's something in here, boss. I can smell it. And Clarissa wipes a bead of sweat off of her head as she realizes that they're right on her trail again. First, it takes a deep breath, slides Milford back into her pocket, and races off towards her house because she wants to get the enchanted book, because she wants to enchant the silver bullets before they go back. After the boss. 

 U2 

 31:02 

 Boss, I can still smell her stench everywhere. 

 U1 

 31:06 

 I told you 1s to close 

 U2 

 31:10 

 this gun shop down. 

 U1 

 31:11 

 I'll have no one. 1s No one stand up to me in my town. 

 U2 

 31:17 

 Clarissa just heard the faint expletives coming from his mouth as she sprinted towards the mayor's house. What used to be her house. See, her father was both a farmer and the mayor of the small village before the sheriff came. Approaching the house, she began to get slight uneasy feelings within her, knowing that there was magic around all around, almost as if the house had been treated and protected since she last was there. These were not her mother's protections, so she circled around back towards the the old root cellar where her mother used to hide things. Behind one of the shelves. She crept up to the door to the cellar 

 U1 

 31:58 

 and unlatched the latch, and opened the door and peeked in. It was a it was a habit of hers to peek into areas, even though there was no other way in, and she was sure that nobody even knew about where the cellar was. She was still very cautious. Up above, the moon began to be covered by a black cloud. The 

 U3 

 32:20 

 black cloud was blocking out some of the enchantments placed upon the house, and some of the magic that even Clarissa dabbled in. She felt restraints. She felt almost powerless. There had been a time when she could move objects with her mind, but not heavy, just light objects, and she could muster up a small flame in her palm when she wanted to. But now it was nothing more than a spark and a little fizzle. I got a bad feeling about this, she told Milford as they walked into the cellar. We've got to find that book. We've got to find it now. She goes, shuffling through the things in the cellar, looking up and down and left and right, knocking over a few things, you know. What is this? Eggnog, she said, slinging a jug of eggnog across the room, which had long since gone rancid. Oh, it smells terrible in here now, Milford complained as the eggnog broke and destroyed the scent of the cellar. After dabbling for 20 minutes or so in her mother's belongings, she found the spellbook that she had sought, and she grabbed it, and she opened it and began to read every page, looking for a particular spell. A spell that would help her enchant the bullets and defeat the sheriff. The 

 U2 

 33:26 

 bullets that she did not yet have, she read and read, looking under E, of course, for enchantments. And then she found it. The spell she needed enchantment to defeat rare creatures. Simple enough title, but harsh enchantment. She would need a special type of mushroom, a toad's urine and the bone from a chicken ground up and rubbed on the bullets. Lucky enough, since her mom was a fey and a witch fey at that, she had all that readily accessible to her already in powder and liquid form, so she mixed it together in a bottle and brought that with her to go into the now the sheriff's house to find the silver bullets. 

 U1 

 34:05 

 But the sheriff wasn't home, nor were his lackeys anywhere nearby. She couldn't even hear the that sound that she had been dreading all night, and she had noted earlier that she could hear it from pretty far away. And that was how she kept safe. She thought, where would the sheriff be? And then she remembered lansky's the saloon in the center of downtown of the village. Of course, the sheriff likes to get his drink on at the full moon, and since the clouds had covered the moon, the sheriff was probably not in form at the moment because he would be in form as a werewolf and not informed, depending on whether or not the clouds covered it. So it was it was a very hectic night for the sheriff usually. So she marched down town with her bottle of enchantment, and she kept an eye out for the lackeys, which she noted that she still could not hear. Where had they gone? They wouldn't have left the village. 3s And then she said, sorry, 

 U2 

 35:04 

 I'm laughing because I'm imagining the cloud cover coming by and him changing from Werehog to human werehog to human just over and over, just just as the cloud. Can you imagine where the clouds are coming across? And it's just the lackeys are there just holding a blanket around him, going, I'm sorry, boss, you just keep getting naked and 

 U1 

 35:26 

 it would just make you want to stay inside all day. 2s Which is why he drinks. 

 U2 

 35:33 

 Look. Sorry, I couldn't help this. 

 U1 

 35:36 

 Throw. The only light on in town at the centre was Lanky Saloon and she could hear a raucous music going honky tonk piano. The old Franz Flubber was playing a familiar honky tonk tune by Kenny Chesney that everybody in the town knew. 

 U3 

 35:57 

 Clarissa stepped up to the door, but before opening it, she peeked through the window, looking to see if Boss Hogg was in there. And sure enough, the sheriff was standing there at the bar drinking heavily, but the lackeys were not there. I've got a plan, Milford said, and she looked down and said, oh yeah, you've got a plan, huh? And he said, yeah, I've got a plan. And she lifted him up and put him on her shoulder, and he began to whisper the plan into her ear. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to call that dragon and get it to come over here and destroy the saloon. Now, Clarissa didn't want to take such extreme measures, but she thought the dragon might help. So she decided. I'm gonna buzz you. Ah, it's a middle sized dragon, man. But I like where your head's at. Okay? 

 U2 

 36:40 

 And and and also. She's scared 

 U1 

 36:42 

 of him. Yes. Okay. Damn you! Ha ha ha! 

 U2 

 36:46 

 She reaches in her pocket to withdraw the single bullet they were able to find within the home. To rub the enchantments on it. She kisses it as well for good luck, a habit she developed as a young child when her mother used to kiss things for good luck, places the bullet inside of the the weapon, and does what she thinks cocks it. Luckily, the bullet goes into the barrel so her chamber. So she assumes that all she has to do is pull the trigger. She goes up to the door and enters as she does so, swinging the door wide open. The the door hits the jukebox, interrupting the Kenny Chesney honky tonk that was going on. I'm gonna buzz 

 U1 

 37:23 

 you, huh? Two buzzes. It's Franz Flubber that's playing a piano. It's not a jukebox. Damn, he's playing classic Kenny Chesney. Guess classic Kenny Chesney tunes. Get it straight. So rewind. She walks in again. And at that very moment, Franz Flubber finished his piano song and everything went silent. And everybody looked at her at the doorway with her bottle of enchantment held out and a tiny, tiny troll person that no one most people didn't even know about because it was a fairy tale that had faded and. Yeah. So everyone was looking at her and she was like, ah, crap. But the one person that wasn't looking at her, luckily, was the sheriff who was in the middle of talking to the bartender, Jerry, 

 U3 

 38:20 

 and giving drinks away for free, for it was the sheriff's birthday 

 U1 

 38:25 

 because everyone knew Full Moon meant it was the where the hog sheriff's birthday 

 U3 

 38:30 

 and the sheriff was already good and sloshed, and he turned around just in time to see Clarissa holding her stance, holding the troll and holding the gun. And she said, this town ain't big enough for the two of us. And Milford lifted out of her pocket and said, um, you mean the three of us? And then she began to fire rapid rounds at the sheriff, and he dove 

 U2 

 38:52 

 over the bar. Buzz. 

 U1 

 38:54 

 Ah, one bullet. She had 

 U3 

 38:57 

 one enchanted bullet. 

 U2 

 38:59 

 So rewind this town. Ain't this town ain't big enough for the three of us, Milford said as she raised her rifle, pulling it as close to her shoulder as she could, not knowing how to hold the weapon, and fired entering the back of the sheriff. That's cowardly 

 U1 

 39:17 

 and a bit rude, 

 U2 

 39:19 

 he said as he fell over dead. Milford looked up at her, combing his little hair, using his hand as the comb. Is that all? Is that it? And that's when they heard a loud roar outside as another shadow, a winged shadow came under the moon. This can't be good, she said, and all they heard was, this 

 U1 

 39:41 

 is my town now. All right, we're back again. We're doing the outro, and we have not done any outro this entire season, but we have that special guest here today or tonight or whatever time it is for you there in Texas. Um, so, 

 U3 

 39:57 

 uh, yeah. 520. So, uh, for the first time ever, we already said this, but we we all came with five random words, and we've been incorporating them and maybe, maybe not in different ways into the story we just told. Mhm. Um, so how did that go guys. I got all my 

 U1 

 40:13 

 words. I managed all mine to I had to sneak up. I had to sneak two of them in at the end. I thought it was gonna be easy because all of mine are four letters. 

 U2 

 40:23 

 And so I was like, yeah, there's short and it's easy. And I had to really work to get the last two in. 

 U1 

 40:29 

 I had one tricky one that I had to force in there because it made no fucking sense at all. Eggnog. Eggnog. I had the foresight. I was 

 U2 

 40:38 

 I was thinking the same thing. It has to be eggnog. 

 U1 

 40:42 

 I only got one of my words. 

 U2 

 40:44 

 You only got one of your words. I failed miserably, I guess I lost track somewhere. I got lost in in Milford story. I got, 

 U3 

 40:51 

 I think I got buzzed twice, but I got all my words. 

 U2 

 40:53 

 I got buzzed once, right? But I got all my mind. Do we share what they were? 

 U1 

 40:59 

 I'm. I want to guess first. I thought at first that one of your words was was Dragon or something to do with that? No, no, because at the beginning she had like a darkness in her or something that she was running from. Unless I'm remembering. No, 

 U2 

 41:13 

 at the beginning, I was just trying to set up some kind of suspense and it just got random in my head. Uh, I think I this was harder than I thought it was going to be for one, and I really enjoyed it. But it was definitely harder to, um, ad lib the story that. So it was a lot of fun. 

 U1 

 41:29 

 Well, you did it. You did a great job for your first episode. It was awesome. And the voices were you delivered on the voices. So 

 U3 

 41:37 

 that's. Well, yeah, that's my belly work. Right. So I appreciate that. So mine were bind. I was able to use that one at the beginning. Sand. That's why she ended up in a sandy basin. Mhm. 

 U2 

 41:50 

 Uh, rude, which I had to use at the end. Getting shot in the back. That was rude. Uh, comb, I 

 U1 

 41:56 

 like that. 

 U2 

 41:58 

 Um, so he had to randomly comb his hair at the end because I needed to use comb. And then, uh, a jar. Oh, when she left the plank, a jar. Gotcha. But I thought because there were four letters, that was going to be a little easier. It was. It was not. 

 U1 

 42:14 

 I started dropping mine, like, immediately. So the first time I take it she's running, right? Yeah. And I'm, like, describing how she feels. And I drop anxious right there. Boom. I'm like that word number one right there. Uh, a little bit further on, after she gets the troll, he's complaining it's nighttime and he's complaining. He's like, it's freezing out here. That was number two. That was my word. Freezing. Uh, they go into the gun shop and I'm talking about it being dusty and, you know, left behind and abandoned. And my word was disuse, so I. I nailed that there. Okay. Um. 

 U3 

 42:48 

 Vulgar. Um, I think it was when they were confronting, uh, I think it was when they were confronting the, uh, the sheriff, she was talking about it being like, vulgar nonsense or something. You drop that right around there and then. Eggnog was the hardest one. I just I was looking for an opportunity. I was 

 U2 

 43:07 

 wondering why there was I didn't it didn't hit me at the time. But when you said guess, I was like, oh, eggnog? Because 1s why would eggnog be in a root cellar somewhere, 

 U3 

 43:18 

 right? I was like, I gotta put it somewhere. There's 

 U2 

 43:21 

 no fridges and no, this was a Christmas story. Now, you know. 

 U1 

 43:26 

 So my word, the one word I used was or concept anyway, was jail. That's where I was going with the the dragon, the the middle. I don't know where the middle aged, the middle boy dragon thing came from, but I. Well, here's what happened. You started with the darkness and the something about a dragon. I could have sworn you said something about a dragon in the beginning. And I had to carry that because we seem to abandon it. 

 U2 

 43:49 

 Just the darkness. Yeah. Something about brought the darkness on herself. Was it from her heart? Was it from. I may have said, like beast or something. 

 U1 

 43:57 

 Maybe that's what it was. I just assumed Dragon at 

 U2 

 44:01 

 the beginning. I didn't know where it was going. So it's just. That's why I passed it off to you so quick. I was like, well, that's ominous, Shawn. 

 U1 

 44:11 

 Perfect. And then my other words were a stamp I kept trying to think of, like, oh, like a stamp comes in from town and is haunted or something. I could not think of a way in the further end of the story it got, it was like, no, this would just be completely out of the blue. And then I got abundant order and fling 

 U3 

 44:30 

 haunted stamps. Ah, for the next season, 

 U1 

 44:32 

 I guess so. 2s I guess so. Oh, man, 

 U3 

 44:37 

 that was a lot of fun. The voices were great. Um, I didn't really know where it was going either, but I love that we put a little troll in there. For whatever reason. I was thinking of that. You remember the, uh, the toys from our childhood that they're like little plastic trolls, and you could comb their hair and 

 U1 

 44:54 

 they'd like. Well, that's what I was thinking, too, until he said it was smaller than an ant. And I went, oh, okay. That's it's a miniature, um, you know, it's a neutral. 

 U2 

 45:03 

 Many, many, many troll. 

 U1 

 45:05 

 Micro troll. Oh, that's the word I was looking for. 

 U2 

 45:09 

 Yeah. Micro or nano would have been the better. Yeah, it's a nano troll. 

 U1 

 45:13 

 That's like some sci fi fantasy ish. 

 U2 

 45:18 

 And then there was a honky tonk saloon. Yeah, with a pianist playing Kenny Chesney. 

 U1 

 45:25 

 So I told, uh, Clarence ahead of time that I'm. I've been itching to do a Western, and, ah, we were running with Clarissa. So none of the original characters I had been thinking about were able to be, except for, uh, the honky tonk piano player who is very one dimensional. But, uh, what was this original last name? All day? I'm thinking, uh, Franz Florencio. That was the last name. But Flubber was the was the alternate name, and I didn't want to use it, but I did, because that's all I could remember. But he has his own backstory. Maybe we can. Maybe I can write that. We've been thinking about doing, um, the comic book I suggested maybe doing, like, in between short stories that expand upon the universe that we're creating here. Or you just take the you could almost take the story that's being told and tell a more elaborate of more. Yeah, 

 U2 

 46:21 

 elaborative, more succinct version. Yeah. Yeah. Well, at least with the hits. Yeah. 

 U1 

 46:28 

 This was fun though. This is fun. Heck yeah. Well. So, um. We're on. This week, episode seven airs, so you won't be for four weeks. 3 or 4 weeks officially. Um, so if I don't, like, announce that we were with you tonight. That's why I don't want to, like, tell people you were with us and then wait a couple of weeks, and then people forget. You know what I mean? I'm thinking about doing, like. That's cool. Who's that guest? Like, who's that Pokemon? But who's that guest? And then just putting a question mark. We just do a shadow version of you. 

 U2 

 47:03 

 The shadow knows. 

 U3 

 47:06 

 And then you could make some weird noises in an audio clip and we'll 

 U2 

 47:10 

 play with it. It'd be fun. Yeah, well, what was fun about this one for me is in an actual audiobook. I can't do, like, the snorts and the stuff, 

 U1 

 47:16 

 you know? You know, 

 U3 

 47:18 

 you're not supposed to me of, uh. Did you ever see that YouTuber Catfish Gooley? No. You gotta you gotta check him out on YouTube. He's a comedian. He makes a weird snarling noise at the end of every video. 

 U1 

 47:30 

 Are you sure he's not a werewolf? 

 U2 

 47:31 

 Oh, I know who you're talking about. He 

 U3 

 47:33 

 might be a werehog, I don't know. 

 U1 

 47:35 

 I know, I know, you're talking about. He's the, uh. Yeah, I got a I got a buddy that, uh, that's a marine as well. Doesn't like him simply because he wears his marine tattoo on his arm and, uh, stupid things. And that's not something you're definitely supposed to do 

 U2 

 47:51 

 as a marine, 

 U1 

 47:52 

 so. 

 U2 

 47:55 

 No, but. Um, but yeah, this was fun. Guys, I really I really appreciate y'all having me on. And thank you. Happy to be the first guest. 

 U1 

 48:04 

 Yeah. Uh, so what I was going to say at the end of the story is, if you ever want to come back on, we could maybe pick that story up and do a part two or something. 

 U2 

 48:16 

 Yeah. It sounds like there's a, um, a dragon or a wyvern that's flying overhead, about to give the village some trouble, 

 U1 

 48:22 

 so. And we never did. We, we didn't quite find out what happened to his lackeys. Um, 

 U2 

 48:29 

 maybe the dragon's lackeys now. Oh, they just they're lackey. So they go to whoever's in charge, right? 

 U3 

 48:35 

 Yeah. They don't want power. They just want to be lackeys. Yeah. 

 U2 

 48:38 

 They don't. They don't want all the they want. They don't want the responsibility of absolute power. Right? But they want to be more powerful than others. 

 U3 

 48:45 

 Yeah. Makes sense. 

 U1 

 48:48 

 All right, well, uh, we'll look at that. My bottle cap says cheers. So cheers to that. This is the final episode of this first part before our hiatus. Not officially a season. Yeah, with your tips. Slash. Would you say Joe Rogan? Yeah. 

 U2 

 49:05 

 Great grain of salt. Yeah. Um. 2s Um, yeah. I appreciate you guys having me on. If I could just say one more thing. Shameless plug. Uh, stone of matter. It's an epic fantasy. It's 21 hours. It's under my audiobook publishing company, OD Portal Publishing. Um, it's the first release under OD Portal Publishing. It is. When this airs, it'll be out everywhere. Um, if you have a public library near you. Hoopla. Overdrive. Libby. Um, it's on Scribd or Scribd. However it's pronounced, it's on Nook audiobooks, Google Play, iTunes, uh, audible, of course. And, uh, it literally anywhere audiobooks are sold, it's on Kobo and Walmart and all that. So anywhere audiobooks are sold. So Stone of matter, it's expected to be at least a trilogy. He actually Bill Baki, the author, actually has nine books total planned. And it is an awesome, awesome, uh, story. My wife doesn't like fantasy. She does the prep work for my books for me to help me with, with timing and everything. So she highlights the characters, makes character notes, and helps me with that. And she liked the book. And she's not a fantasy person. It's just she's more of romance, things like that. But she loved the book. Um, it's really excellent. There's a lot of story building in it. If you like epic fantasies, then, then go check out Stone of matter. Tell her to buy a copy of Just Absolutely Awesome. 

 U1 

 50:37 

 So. 3s Oh, the Wolfgang story. Yeah. 

 U3 

 50:42 

 Tell her to buy a copy of the boss House publishing. 

 U2 

 50:47 

 She'll love it. Shoot me a link. Shoot me a link. I'll buy one for her. She's. It sounds like it's probably right up her alley. 

 U3 

 50:54 

 All right, we'll do. 

 U1 

 50:56 

 All right. Well, we'll close out for now. Until maybe next time. Uh, and we'll be in touch about when we're officially going to be talking about you and all that. Thank you. Thanks so much again for being our first guest and giving us some awesome voices. This has been really fun. I'm sorry about the technical issues to start, but thank you for allowing us to experiment on you in a way, I guess. Well, that's I've had worse experiments, so 

 U2 

 51:25 

 I appreciate you guys. Have a good night. Later. Thanks. 6s The writer's block. 3s Cool kids. Remember to subscribe. 2s And tune in next week. 2s For the next episode. 2s Writer's block. 2s The coolest podcast of all time. Time. Time. Time. 

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