Troll

IT'S TROLL MONTH! This week, Captain and Wilson discuss the 1986 cult classic, "Troll." 

The film discussion begins around 9:21.

Transcript

Cold Weather And Bad Sleep

Captain 0:19

How's it going?

Wilson 0:21

It's going pretty good. Uh, I have a cold this week. Um, so I'm enjoying a nice diet coke.

Captain 0:27

You have a cold?

Wilson 0:30

Yeah. I don't know. I feel like all this homebuying stuff is stressing me out and I'm not sleeping well. Also, it's my cat. He just uh He moves around a lot while I'm sleeping. Oh, makes sleeping hard. Yeah. Ugh, the things we do for love.

Captain 0:48

I mean, my pet makes it really hard to sleep only because she's so freaking loud.

Wilson 0:56

Is it like the licks or is it snoring?

Captain 0:58

No, it's a snore that's like the like it's like as loud as a fucking human. It's so loud.

Wilson 1:04

True.

Captain 1:04

Anyway, okay.

Troll Month And Recent Watches

Captain 1:06

Welcome. Oh my gosh, it's troll month.

Wilson 1:09

It's troll month.

Captain 1:11

Uh-uh-uh. I don't know if you have a troll noise you can. Yeah, we've been um advertising troll month for so long.

Wilson 1:21

I'm excited. And there's so many troll movies that we could do, but I'm very happy with our selections.

Captain 1:27

I mean, you gotta go with one that's just called troll.

Wilson 1:30

R uh yeah, of course. Like the classic.

Captain 1:34

And then your choice, which sounds like it might be a little rough, but it'll be a good time. Um okay. Oh, that's right. Um, did you wanna how'd you feel about Send Help?

Wilson 1:48

I I really liked Send Help. Um it it went like a little bit different direction than I thought based on the trailer, which I liked because the trailer looked fun, but I also kind of thought I knew what was gonna happen. Um and then there was like some some surprises in there. So I liked it.

Captain 2:06

Yeah, it's one of those movies where it's like hard to tell where it's gonna go and if it's gonna end well, but I like the way they like quickly wrapped it up at the end. Um some of the characters though, it's like, oh my gosh, you want to hate them so bad during the movie. But they didn't really I was not expecting yeah, I wasn't not expecting it to be like the way it was. I don't know if we want to say spoilers. I feel like by the time Troll Month we can say things.

Wilson 2:37

Yeah, I mean like if anyone hasn't seen Sun Help yet and you want to watch it, skip ahead like two minutes. Sure. Yeah.

Captain 2:46

Sure. Um yeah, but I was not expecting that island to be um like a non-deserted island.

Wilson 2:54

Yeah, like I mean, you know, obviously when you saw the boat, it was like, oh, you know, they just came across this, but then when they did the like the I don't I don't know if you call that a needle drop where they turned and like there's just a house built into the side of the island.

Captain 3:06

Yeah, I was not expecting that at all. Like I was really surprised because like it I can s imagine boat tours where they're like, oh, look at all these fun like little islands. Like I don't know, when I went to Thailand, like the you know, you could like hop on a jet ski and like there are a bunch of little islands like that that you can jet ski around them. So I was like, yeah, I could see a boat like, you know,

Send Help Spoilers And Ending

Captain 3:28

a boat tour where you're just like looking at the pretty landscape. I was just yeah, totally not expecting that nice ass house. I do like the way her character got to win at the end.

Wilson 3:40

Yeah, like I have mixed feelings because she actually is like a messed up person or she became one, but um I think it was a fun ending. Yeah, like poor fiance, like she and the the boat guy, like they didn't deserve that, but yeah.

Captain 3:56

Not at all. But no witnesses, you know what I'm saying, Doug?

Wilson 4:01

That's true. They would have ruined everything.

Captain 4:04

They would have ruined everything. She did kind of yeah, she did get a little crazy. Um I I do feel weird about them laughing at her survivor tape. I'm like, that really wasn't that funny. Like her audition tape at the beginning.

Wilson 4:17

No, they were terrible people. And then like that her like coworker who was like, give me your seat. Like, oh get out of here.

Captain 4:25

Yeah, they did a really good job of making a beautiful woman look ugly, too. Like an impossible job. Yeah.

Rachel McAdams Marathon And Goopy Movies

Captain 4:34

Oh sorry. Did uh did you watch Fallout? I can't remember.

Wilson 4:39

Uh season one. We haven't watched season two yet.

Captain 4:41

Okay. In season one, um, the main character girl, I can't remember that actress's name. Yeah. But you know what I'm talking about? That like Lucy or whatever. Um apparently the special effects people or like the makeup people were like, uh, it is so hard to make her hair look dirty. Like her hair, it her they were like, her hair is beautiful, and like no matter what we would do to it, it would just be like bouncy and like beautiful looking. And like they tried to make it like like dirty it up, and they were like, impossible. Um and I was like like I we like saw that story and it was just like so funny. It's like must be fucking nice.

Wilson 5:20

Um Yeah, I hadn't heard that story. That's funny.

Captain 5:23

Yeah, but it that just reminds me of like yeah, and and uh like in Euphoria, the makeup artist has said, like, it's so hard to make Zendaya look strung out and ugly. Like it's really hard. I mean, she's a good actress, but like you know, the makeup job is tough. Um I don't know. It's just funny when like, yeah. But they did a good job with Rachel McAdams. I'm surprised I was surprised.

Wilson 5:48

Um that that kind of caused me to um start watching a bunch of Rachel McAdams movies the last like week or so. Um so I watched Eye. I did. Red Eye, uh, I watched the notebook, morning glory, and then Married Life.

Captain 6:07

Oh man, you watched a lot.

Wilson 6:09

Yeah, and I might keep going. There's at least one or two others I wanted to watch.

Captain 6:14

I don't what's her most famous movie besides the notebook?

Wilson 6:18

Probably Me and Girls, right?

Captain 6:19

Oh, right. Yeah, obviously. Me and Girls, that's true. Um oh, how do I Oh my gosh. I see a recent activity. Oh, there we go. They make this so hard. Married Life? Oh wow. That's like 20 years old. Uh oh. It's not good. Um she's in a Christmas movie, it's good.

Wilson 6:40

Oh, sorry, what? What?

Captain 6:41

Oh, I just I just saw your um I was just looking at your letterbox. I'm excited for that mummy movie. Is that coming out this year?

Wilson 6:49

Yeah. Uh I think so.

Captain 6:52

I'm like, it looked really good.

Wilson 6:54

It was by the guy who directed Evil Dead Rise, so like you know it's gonna be goopy.

Captain 7:02

That's true. It's a goopy movie. Oh yeah. Oh wow, that's like troll month, April.

Wilson 7:09

Oh. That's what that's a good thing.

Captain 7:12

It's out right now, maybe. Yeah, it's out right now. Lee Cronin. Not to be confused with David Cronenberg.

Wilson 7:20

Nice, other goopy man. David Cronenberg's child did a movie. I could be misattributing that to somebody. I don't know.

Captain 7:33

I don't know.

Wilson 7:34

I don't know. Do you have anything else you want to talk about or should we bop in?

Captain 7:37

No, I think we should like troll it up. You know, troll it up.

Troll Names And Show Intro

Captain 7:42

Do people have troll names?

Wilson 7:44

What do you mean? Like, what's your troll name?

Captain 7:48

Like uh Yeah, like you know how you can like get like a like a you know uh words, you know. What's like you know, the Childish Gambino thing?

Wilson 8:00

Oh, where you like uh what's the name of the street you grew up on?

Captain 8:04

Yeah, but like but like that, but for trolls.

Wilson 8:07

Okay.

Captain 8:08

Oh, troll name generator? That's a real thing. Well, this is like World of Warcraft. I don't know what the fuck that is. No trying to get all into that.

Wilson 8:24

Um, okay. Well I found an Instagram post from Netflix. Um Netflix? Yeah, so my troll name is Kragbinder uh of Gudbrand Hollow.

Captain 8:43

Okay, that sounds really on point. Like you're really giving Krugbrand Yours is Thornroot of Trollspire Ridge. Okay, perfect. Thornroot is like really speaking to my heart right now.

Wilson 9:00

Yeah. Yeah.

Captain 9:02

Okay. Okay, thanks for pulling it up so fast. You sure you didn't already have that like ready to go?

Wilson 9:07

I was just thinking about it.

Captain 9:09

That's why I think I have been awaiting years to tell somebody my troll name. Finally. What was again?

Wilson 9:17

Cragbinder? Cragbinder.

Captain 9:21

Alright, Cragbinder. Um, ready? Um, okay. Welcome to the 186th episode of the Red Run Podcast, where we review horror movies while enjoying an adult beverage or two. And I'm Captain.

Troll Facts Cast And Crew

Wilson 9:37

And I'm Cragbinder.

Captain 9:40

Oh, sorry. Sorry, aka Thornroot or whatever the fuck. Um this week we're reviewing the 1986 American Dark Fantasy comedy troll. Um this was So it is a comedy?

Wilson 9:52

It is it is classified as a comedy.

Captain 9:54

That's what it says.

Wilson 9:56

Okay.

Captain 9:57

Um This was directed by John Carl Bouchler. I don't know. Um, this guy was actually originally a special effects artist, um, but then he became a director, producer, screenwriter. Um, he's mostly known for his work um in Troll, Friday the 13th, part 7, Ghoulies 3, where Ghoulies go to college. Did you ever watch that? Like Ghoulies 3?

Wilson 10:28

No, I remember we talked about it.

Captain 10:29

I know we talked about it. And then he did makeup work on the original Ghoulies from Beyond. Didn't we do that one?

Wilson 10:36

Mm-hmm.

Captain 10:37

And then Troll, a nightmare on Elm Street 4, Halloween 4. Um is From Beyond the one with the um the neighborhouse and stuff? And like the lady screaming down the stairs?

Wilson 10:52

I don't remember the neighborhouse part, but I I think there is somebody like running on the stairs screaming, but like there's a machine in the attic, and it like Yeah. Yeah, I I liked that movie.

Captain 11:04

Yeah, it was like really weird, but I remember liking that one. That one was we had guests on, right?

Wilson 11:09

Maybe. I don't know.

Captain 11:11

Okay. Um yeah, but apparently this guy's like pretty well known in like this realm, this world.

Wilson 11:20

Yeah, he's done like special effects on a lot of classic movies.

Captain 11:24

Lots and lots. Um was he the guy that died?

Wilson 11:29

I mean at his face. He is dead.

Captain 11:32

Yeah, but it was like prostate cancer or something.

Wilson 11:35

Oh I don't see that on here. Oh, wait, yes, I do. Yep.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus And June Lockhart

Captain 11:40

Yeah, and then he started a GoFundMe. Okay, this is such an off off topic, really think, really fast. But like, okay, so you saw the thing about James Vanderbeek.

Wilson 11:48

Yeah.

Captain 11:49

Yeah, and he had what was it? Colon cancer?

Wilson 11:53

I think so.

Captain 11:54

Yeah, apparently he started a GoFundMe and like um was trying to raise money for his treatment. But I saw a video that's saying that he was trying to do like holistic approach because otherwise Seg Afra would pay for like all medical bills, but like they won't obviously pay for you to get like holistic voodoo medicine.

Wilson 12:17

Yeah, I did hear he did like whole holistic medicine and also they have like two houses and like they had recent and they're like one of them's worth four million that they're renting out.

Captain 12:28

Yeah, but like I'm I don't know, I'm just like I now now I'm like curious. I'm like, okay, is this guy the same way? Like, why did he have to have a GoFundMe? Like if if I imagine you were probably part of SAG too. Like, I don't know. That's makes me nervous.

Wilson 12:46

Uh yeah. It just makes you think. I mean, it could have been like, yeah. I don't know.

Captain 12:52

But yeah, I'm like, oh, that like definitely puts a different spin on. I mean, I not that I really watched Dawson's Creek or anything, but I'm like, people typically really loved him, like as a person, you know what I mean?

Wilson 13:05

Yeah. I don't know, something special about it.

Captain 13:08

I mean, I feel bad for his family, but it it seems like listen to a doctor, my god, you know.

Wilson 13:14

Yeah, and they're also playing it like the family had no money, but it doesn't really seem like that.

Captain 13:19

Yeah, he's if you have a four million dollar house, you're not living in all the time. Okay, anyway, sorry, random sign name. Um, okay, so back to troll. Um okay, fun fact here, our main characters are Harry Pa-Uh, and um his sister Anne Pa-Uh, um, and their parents, and then a couple other people. So, like, kind of a broad strokes, it's a family that moves into an apartment, right?

Wilson 13:52

Yeah, they're just moving into a new apartment building.

Captain 13:54

Yeah. Um, and then like they meet neighbors and you know, things ensue. But um, this is like mainly the care the the main cast is is mostly the family here. So we have Noah Hathaway as Harry Potter Jr. Um, he's known for his roles, oh god, as a Treyu in the Never Ending Story. Did you ever watch that?

Wilson 14:23

Um I don't think I did, no.

Captain 14:26

Um, and he was boxy in Battlestar Galactica.

Wilson 14:32

Okay.

Captain 14:32

I don't know. Um and then his sister, really fat, Shelly Hack, um, plays Anne, and she is mostly known for her role as Tiffany in the fourth season of Charlie's Angels for like two seasons. Um it looks like their mom didn't really do anything in this movie, like Jenny Beck. I don't know, I didn't really recognize anything she was in, and then Michael Moretti Moritrie, as Harry Potter Sr. Um He's in a bunch of stuff. He won an Emmy and a Golden Globe. Um he was in for some miniseries he was in in the 70s about the Holocaust, and he won a Tony for a play he did also in the 70s. Um he was David Mo Rutherford in The Stuff. We didn't do the stuff, right?

Wilson 15:27

No, but I think I've seen it.

Captain 15:29

Okay. We did the thing, right?

Wilson 15:34

Yes. Yes.

Captain 15:36

That was like episode four or something.

Wilson 15:37

Yeah, but I think we did the remake, didn't we?

Captain 15:39

Oh, probably. Um, and then he was also Joe Weber in Return to Salem's Lot, which I think is a vampire movie from the 80s.

Wilson 15:48

Well, I know Salem's Lot is about vampires, so that that trick.

Captain 15:52

Oh, so this would be okay. Um, yeah, and then they have some neighbors. Oh, that's who that is. Okay. So Sonny Sonny Bono played Peter Dickerson, which I think is that creepy neighbor. Yeah. Creepy swinger. I didn't recognize him. But he's like Sonny from Sonny and Cher. So like that guy.

Wilson 16:17

Um I didn't know he acted. That's cool.

Captain 16:20

Very little from what I looked up. But mostly stuff that like Cher was acting in already, I think.

Wilson 16:26

Oh, okay.

Captain 16:27

Um, and then yeah, he like was a politician later on in his life, but I don't know how successful that was. Um then uh Mal or sorry, Phil Fandacaro plays Malcolm Malaroy, the Another Neighbor, but he also plays Torak the Troll. Um he is best known for his performance in the horror comedy Bordello of Blood. Don't know it. Um and then he was in some fantasy films like The Black Cauldron, Double Double, Toil and Trouble, and then Willow.

Wilson 17:07

Wait, that's um that's a Mary Kate and Ashley Olson movie, isn't it? Yes. Oh so this guy's voice, I super recognize it, and I don't know if it's because of Troll, but I I think it might be from that Mary Kate and Ashley movie. It's like he has like a unique kind of gravelly voice or something.

Captain 17:28

Yeah, something about it is yeah, it's very gravelly. Um I I like no, I probably watched all Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movies, but like I don't really remember them besides the one that does the sleepover with pizza.

Wilson 17:42

Oh like I never actually watched that one. Wait, so you didn't see the one with Kirsty Alley? Like um, uh damn, what was that called?

Captain 17:51

I think I did.

Wilson 17:52

It's like the big one. Well, in my mind it was the big one.

Captain 17:54

And then there was another one where they like It Takes Two.

Wilson 17:57

I think that's what it's called.

Captain 17:58

Oh, maybe it was that one. There's another is there one where they're like moving to LA or something or moving to New York or something?

Wilson 18:05

Probably.

Captain 18:06

Yeah, I I I remember I got one on VHS that was like a gift, a random Christmas that we watched a lot. I don't know. I don't know. Um this is so off topic.

Wilson 18:20

Oh, it was it was two of a wait. Nope.

Captain 18:23

Oh, no?

Wilson 18:24

Uh oh, sorry, that was I uh I just like need to figure it out now. Oh, it was It Takes Two from 1995.

Captain 18:33

Oh, Passport to Paris was the one I had on VHS.

Wilson 18:36

Um yeah, I didn't watch that one. That's what it was.

Captain 18:39

I remember that cover very specifically.

Wilson 18:44

I need to watch this movie.

Captain 18:46

Oh, switching goals. I watched that one a lot. Okay, this is okay. Um they really like they were like, oh, twins, we're gonna make every movie possible. Um okay, so oh yes, and then uh Phil Fanadarko was also had a recording role as Roland on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. So I don't know if you maybe recognize him from that. No. Um, and then randomly, like none of the other neighbors are like that important, but um Julia Louise Dreyfus was in this movie as a neighbor, Jeanette, and this is her very first movie she ever did. Wow, she's a bye bae. Um, but yeah, very famous, right? Um she was a cast member on SNL, Elaine in Seinfeld, Christine Campbell in the New Adventures of Old Christine. She's got Veep, and then her roles on like Arrest Development and Curb and 30 Rock, so big star. It's so funny to see like really famous people take these tiny little roles when they're brand new.

Wilson 19:51

Yeah. I think she's also like ridiculously wealthy from her family. Oh, really? Yeah, I feel like I heard that. I think she comes from a really, really well-off family. Oh, um, her dad was a billionaire.

Captain 20:08

Oh.

Wilson 20:09

Gerard Louis Dreyfus.

Captain 20:12

Oh, the dad had a hyphenata last name too.

Wilson 20:15

Yeah.

Captain 20:18

I guess it works out for some people. Um, yeah, I mean, the witch in this movie was uh also what's her name? Lockhart? June June Lockhart. Um I mean, like I think she was famous, but this is like in the 60s. Like I don't recognize any of these things. Uh or sorry, she began her film career in the 30s. So like I I really don't rem recognize. Apparently she's in A Christmas Carol, which is a pretty famous movie.

Wilson 20:49

I think she was in um uh that show Lost in Space.

Captain 20:55

Oh my god, she just died at 100 years old. Like late last year. Doyum 100?

Wilson 21:04

I mean, good for her. That's like that's a nice year life.

Captain 21:10

That's hard. Her first movie was in 1938 and she was alive. Sorry, that's just crazy. I mean, I know I'm not living that long. Jesus. Um, okay. Oh, she was in 200 episodes of Lassie.

Wilson 21:29

So I guess I didn't realize Lassie was a TV show.

Captain 21:33

Oh, yeah, it's a TV show. I mean, the dog's the main character, I guess, but apparently she was also in Battle Star Galactica with what's his face?

Wilson 21:46

So Yeah, I love all that.

Captain 21:49

Um yeah, so she's like known for stuff, but nothing that's any time recently. Okay, so this movie's like really random.

Plot Breakdown Apartment Troll Chaos

Captain 22:00

I mean, there's like vaguely a story, but I don't know. We were watching this and I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm watching. Um, so this family, the Potter family, are moving into this apartment building. They have a teenage son named Harry Jr. and then their little daughter named Wendy.

Wilson 22:20

Wendy Ann.

Captain 22:22

Sorry, Wendy Ann. Um, and very quickly, like as they're moving in, Wendy gets pulled in by a creepy puppet thing, um, troll puppet. Um, and then we see that this troll has like a ring that turned him into appearing like Wendy, is what it kind of looked like. Which I guess it's not quite. Well, yeah, I guess he takes the appearance of yes, and then after uh yeah, shortly after that, she starts acting crazy, like because it's a troll in Wendy's body. So she's like food hungry and aggressive. Um as she like runs out of the building and pulls the fire alarm, we meet all the other neighbors in the building. So there's like a Marine and there's like Jeanette and her boyfriend. There's a creepy swinger who's Bono, right? No, sorry, Sonny.

Wilson 23:18

Sonny, well, yeah, Sonny.

Captain 23:20

Do people wait Bono's somebody else, right? Bono's a different singer.

Wilson 23:23

It's a yeah.

Captain 23:24

Yeah. Okay. Sonny, or whatever his name is in this movie. And then um we meet St. Clair, Miss St. Clair, who's like a grumpy old woman that lives there. Um yeah, they mention that there's another guy that lives there, the Professor Malcolm, but we don't we don't see him at this scene. Um and then pretty quickly on that the troll in Wendy's body goes from apartment to apartment, like transforming tenants um to like plants. Uh, but they're like like I don't even know how to describe, they're like magical plants that explode.

Wilson 24:08

Poked by the ring, like a little pointy thing comes out, and they turn into like a plant egg sack, and then like split open and baby trolls come out.

Captain 24:19

Yeah, it's very weird. Um yeah, Wendy goes to the creepy guy's house first, the swinger upstairs, yeah, plants him all over the place, and then uh she also messes with the marine guy who his apartment oh my god. I mean, what is that decorating? I hate it.

Wilson 24:45

It's like a giant pool table in the living room and then like leopard print on the wall or something.

Captain 24:49

And yeah, it was like he literally had like he was trying to make it look like jungle camouflage in there. I'm like, Jesus Christ, this is disgusting. Um yeah, and he gets turned really quickly to the trolls, like um bulletproof, I guess, because the it looks like he shot the troll, but it didn't do anything, and then the troll.

Wilson 25:10

He had like an amulet on, and I feel like it like that protect him.

Captain 25:15

Yeah, I don't yeah, and then yeah, and then he takes the gun that the Marine shoots him with and like um knots it up like you know a cartoon. Um and then while this is happening, um, the brother, Harry, knows something is happen is weird with his sister and he's trying to figure out like what's going on, and he seeks solace in Eunice St. Clair, who um is like that lady in the building that originally was kind of grumpy, but she actually is like, you know, um takes care of him. I I don't love how much child adult friendship there is in this movie. Like maybe I'm looking at it through a weird lens, but I don't know, there's a lot and both children in this movie become close friends with an adult who like is totally fine befriending them. And I I don't know, maybe the 80s were a different time, but I hate it. Like, yeah, because both him, like he becomes really close with Eunice, and he's like, I don't have any friends, and you know, we should be friends, and she was like, sure. And then uh Wendy, which I guess is in troll form, so maybe not so bad. Um, but she becomes friends with Malcolm, the professor guy that's in the building, and literally invites him over for dinner, and he just accepts her invitation as a child to her house. I'm like, Sir, what?

Wilson 26:44

Yeah, and the parents, the problem isn't that it's an adult man, the problem is that he's like a short person, but I I mean I guess that he's an adult, but not that he met their little daughter and became friends.

Captain 26:58

Like that's not their problem with him, you mean?

Wilson 27:00

Yeah, yeah.

Captain 27:02

Like Yeah, no. Yeah, they were expecting a child and didn't um confirm, but like why would you? I I it's just it's uh more on the adult that accepted the invitation. I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

Wilson 27:17

If a child everyone's gonna be like, No, I'm not going to your house eating dinner.

Captain 27:20

Yeah, like, or I'm definitely like I get it if you're like a neighbor trying to make like friends with neighbors, but like why would you do that without

Creepy Adult Friendships And Bad Aging

Captain 27:28

talking to the adults of the residents? Like, what the fuck? Again, maybe we're crazy looking at this at like 40 years from when it was made, but I don't know.

Wilson 27:42

I feel like it just didn't age well.

Captain 27:44

Yeah, yeah, definitely not. Um yes, so um, yeah, so he's trying to figure out what's going on with her with his sister. Um, and then yes, they invite Malcolm over for dinner, and um yeah, the parents were not expecting uh an adult, um, a little person, but that it's fine after they are fine with it. Um and then he recites like what do they call it? Some like old story, like very, very old story. He's a professor of English, I guess, or history or something like that.

Wilson 28:23

Yeah.

Captain 28:24

Yeah. Um and in this story, it like activates the trolls that are in the building already. Like Yeah, I don't really understand that, but forest fairy portals. Yeah, I'm not really sure either. We watch this troll s like wreak havoc and like kill people by turning them into plants, and it takes until over an hour into the movie to get motive as to like what's going on and why. And I'm like, okay, but like we got we we had to pick this up. Like, what the fuck? I it you can't just what watch you can't just make your audience watch Mischief without like any idea of why. Like, what's the end goal? I th I felt like that was very annoying, watching it like that. I'm like, okay, but are we ever gonna get to the reason as to why he's doing that?

Wilson 29:18

Well, at least they eventually explained it. It wasn't just like uh where was why did any of this happen? You know? Like at least it wasn't like that.

Captain 29:26

I would be fuming if we came out of that and we got no motive at all. I'd be fuming. Um Yeah, so he like, yeah, so this professor thing, it's the professor reads this uh story that like activates the trolls, and during that you it cuts to Eunice who knows what's going on, and she like blows this horn to get them to quiet the fuck down, and they hate the horn, so that works. Um I don't really again, they don't really explain that very well. Um yes,

Troll Lore Witch Backstory And Motive

Captain 30:05

and then I think at this point Harry realizes that Eunice is a witch. I don't think that was very clear to the audience.

Wilson 30:13

No, he's just like you don't belong here. All these are all these things in your apartment are for kids. Which you're really old.

Captain 30:20

They're not yeah, they're not, they're like weapons, but sure. Um yeah, and he's like, You're a witch, right? And she's like, obvious.

Wilson 30:30

Not me.

Captain 30:31

And then she says, Yeah, like I I I think there's a lot more like havoc that happens, but she eventually under tells him that, like, yeah, she's a witch. Um, and she was a long time ago, she was in love with a power powerful wizard named Torak. And then at the time the world was like just fairies and humans that was supposed to be divided equally, but there was um Torak was a fairy that like wanted to take over the world, so there was this big war between humans and fairies, and the humans won. And when the humans won that war, uh fairies were like condemned to be trolls forever, right? That sounds right.

Wilson 31:16

Something I so part of the story I like wasn't really following the logic and how Torok uh yeah, but that's what I'm getting.

Captain 31:26

So, yeah, it kind of gets split because like she originally tells her, tells him that she was a princess and she fell in love. Um, but then she was like, Okay, but like go watch your sister, and then like later on, then she tells the whole story. I'm like, okay, well then yeah, I d like between those two things, Wendy is talking to Malcolm again in his apartment, and he's like, Oh yeah, I'm like finna die soon, like real soon. And then she's like, the troll's like, okay, well, I'm just gonna turn you into a troll so that you don't die, basically. Because he like always wanted to be magical.

Wilson 32:04

Yeah, so then he like birthed into a little tiny version of himself.

Captain 32:08

Dude, the puppets that they use in this movie are terrifying. Why are they all so wet?

Wilson 32:15

Like, they got his likeness pretty well for a little troll version, I feel like.

Captain 32:20

They did. He kind of looked a little bit like that action star that everybody makes fun of. What's his name? You know what I'm talking about? That makes like those he's made like a gazillion movies, um, but they're like kind of bad. Um man, I can't remember his name. He's got a pony ponytail.

Wilson 32:43

He's got a ponytail, and he's made a bunch of action movies.

Captain 32:47

Steven Seagal.

Wilson 32:52

I guess I could see that.

Captain 32:53

Yeah. Wilson, why are the puppets so freaking wet? They're all dripping.

Wet Puppets Singing And Final Battle

Wilson 33:00

It makes it fun and goopy and nasty.

Captain 33:04

I hate it. I hate it. And they're all creepy as hell, especially when they're doing that weird singing that like uh ugh. Um anyway. So yeah, they did get his likeness well-ish, but he also is uh enough, sure. Um yeah, and then basically the rest of the movie is like kind of a fight scene. Um Eunice says it's her job to protect the world from Torak taking it over via trolls. Terrible at her job.

Wilson 33:39

She ain't doing shit.

Captain 33:41

F failure. Just like whoever put her on that job, I don't know where her 90-day review is or her 900-year review, or however the fuck she's been how long she's been doing this, but uh subpar. Yeah, subpar.

Wilson 33:54

She just gives this kid a pointy pointy stick. She takes one and loses it immediately and gets turned into a stump.

Captain 34:03

Yeah, she does nothing, it's very annoying. And then she uh she recruits this like 14-year-old to do all her work for her. Um yeah, and then Harry basically goes into this troll world and saves his sister. I didn't quite understand that like at the end there, doesn't Torok like why does Torak save them?

Wilson 34:28

I think because um based on the story she was telling earlier, he needs like some maiden that will like grow up to be his like queen or some shit.

Captain 34:38

Oh, and that monster was gonna kill her?

Wilson 34:41

Yeah. So he's like, well, either lose this chance right now, I don't know.

Captain 34:46

So it's still weird, but yeah, I didn't I didn't quite understand why he like kills him it kills, but I okay, that's sure, fine. Um, but apparently killing that monster, like supposedly like partially destroys part of the fairy realm and the magic world like collapses. But Harry gets out and saves his sister. And then by this point, like because it's taken over so much of the building during this like final battle scene, there's like uh the whole building shaking, and there's like vines growing out of the roof that are um I get it, it's the 80s, like they're trying their best. It's rough.

Wilson 35:24

It is a little rough looking.

Captain 35:26

Um, yeah, but like to the point where uh passers outside are seeing this and like freaking out, and I guess call the cops. Um but saves it, everybody's cool. Parents don't give a fuck where their kids are, like 90% of this movie, so like they didn't even know they were in Troll World. Um but anyway, all good, and um Eunice, I guess, is restored to normal. I I am confused why she's suddenly like 30 years younger. I don't know why she took her hair out and that made her 30 years younger. Like they actually changed the actress. Like, I did they explain like why they did that?

Wilson 36:03

I don't think so.

Captain 36:05

But like what what was she?

Wilson 36:06

The magic of I I don't know.

Captain 36:09

She was like hiding her identity of a witch, but it's like you looked way more witchy as the older version of yourself than the younger one. Yeah. Like I don't I'm I'm confused what we were going for. I I don't know. Um there's a lot of like defects in this movie, in my opinion.

Wilson 36:28

Yeah, you're not supposed to like look too hard. I don't think.

Captain 36:32

I'm not supposed to like look a little though. Like even some of the things are I'm like, what? Um yes, and then apparently the police come and investigate the house. I I I guess somebody else called them, but they take the family to the station to fill out a police report. Who knows what the fuck that police report's gonna say? And then there's two cops at the end that are looking around, and one of them basically gets sucked into Fairy World in the laundry room because it is there is still like a portal there down in the basement of the building.

Wilson 37:03

Another terrible job by uh the witch. Didn't even clean up the mess.

Ending Portal Loose Ends

Captain 37:08

Yeah, she sucks, bruh. She just got to put her on like demote her. Demote her to something else.

Wilson 37:15

Well, she's trying to get out the door. He's she's trying to recruit that kid, you know.

Captain 37:19

It's true.

Wilson 37:20

She's like a little 12-year-old or whatever.

Captain 37:23

That's true. Yeah. Um, so I don't know if the end of that movie was trying to set up for the other troll movies, but I mean, apparently there were other troll movies, but they have nothing to do with this one.

Wilson 37:35

Troll 2 is like I feel like that's almost more cult classic than this one because of how ridiculous it is.

Captain 37:43

It's more ridiculous than this.

Wilson 37:45

Yeah, there's a scene from it that gets like people tease, especially. I'll send you a link to it later.

Captain 37:53

Okay. Is it goopier, or it's just like like Chucky, where it's like things are exploding for no reason, or um I don't know.

Wilson 38:04

I'll find a clip and send it to you.

Captain 38:05

Okay, apparently there's a Troll 2 movie that came out in 2025. That that's the first one that pops up when I Google it. Um do you know when that oh that one was like 1992, 99, 99?

Wilson 38:20

I don't know.

Captain 38:23

I just wanted to know, like, what's the premise of Troll 2? Like, it's fine, it's fine. A Vic family discovers that the entire town they visited is inhabited by goblins disguised as humans who plan to eat them.

Wilson 38:39

Oh. Well, you could say that happened because of the cop. Yeah.

Captain 38:47

I don't know. The internet's saying they're not related at all, like these movies. Um already in this short little clip I'm watching for 10 seconds, the acting in this movie looks better than the acting that of the movie we just watched. So sad.

Wilson 39:03

Well, if you watch the clip that I just sent now, you don't have to watch it now, but um, that's the one people are like, this is so bad, it's funny.

Captain 39:15

I mean, those are the movies that become cult classics, so like I get it. But um, oh man. I don't I

Ratings Box Office And Harry Potter Name

Captain 39:24

I was just thinking about I don't even know what to rate this. It's trash, in my opinion.

Wilson 39:29

It's like not a good movie, but I had like a really good time.

Captain 39:33

Um, I wouldn't say I had a good time. Yikes. Um, okay, so just um, oh, you want some numnums? Yeah. Um, okay. I agree with this. The critic scores of 27, audience scores of 28. Actually, it should be lower. I don't agree with that. Damn. Um, the budget was 2.5 million, but the box office was 5.5, so they did hit their double.

Wilson 40:02

Okay. Did okay.

Captain 40:03

Is 2.5. I guess movies in the 80s were probably about that, like low budget ones.

Wilson 40:10

It seems like budget, yeah.

Captain 40:12

Yeah. I mean, like nowadays, that's like nothing, but um, and then some hot goss here, hot goose. Um, John Carl Bouchler, so the director, um, his original story uh was like Torak was a monster who was systematically killing off the inhabitants of the build of the building, so more of like a full slasher movie. But the producer, Charles Band, who apparently had like a big production company that was like pretty popular at the time, um, wanted to create something that was PG 13. So they had to alter the story a lot to make it so kids could watch it. Um big fun fact Harry Potter, the name, this movie came out 11 years before J.K. Rowling started publishing Harry Potter books. Um, apparently there was brief talks of a lawsuit that she took the name from them, even though she swears up and down that she didn't. Um, that she like never heard of the movie, doesn't know anything about it. Um she disliked the name Harry, and then the name Potter came from one of her close friends' last name. Um have I ever met or heard of any other humans on the planet named Harry Potter? No.

Wilson 41:25

But it is a little sus.

Captain 41:28

It's a little sus. Especially now knowing that she's not like a great person.

Wilson 41:33

Yeah.

Captain 41:36

Um, yeah. I I don't think Atlas it ever actually happened. It was just like there were talks about it, and John Carl Bouchler I don't know if I'm saying that right, um, apparently claims that like he doesn't believe her.

Wilson 41:52

So I mean, I don't blame him. Like it sounds super fishy.

Captain 41:59

Uh

Behind The Scenes And Troll Sequels

Captain 42:02

okay, and then the role of Malcolm Mallory was explicitly written for that actor for Phil Fon de Caro. Um the director or yeah, but the director was pressured to cast Billy Bardi. I don't know who that is. Um originally a fully animatronic puppet was intended to play Torak, but um he scrapped that plan and sculpted a creature to create a creature costume directly onto Fonda Carlo's life cast, knowing that the producers wouldn't want to pay two different actors. So I mean I feel like it's obvious in the movie that the neighbor is the same guy that plays the troll. I don't know if it is to you.

Wilson 42:49

I I mean I had wondered, but I didn't think of I mean I think it was like obvious. I didn't recognize like anything about him.

Captain 42:58

Yeah, I mean he has like a full costume on. I I yeah, I guess I just I don't know, because I I do remember that part of the notes when I was writing them, and um it's like obvious if you've if you read it beforehand, but um but yeah, so he he plays he plays the two characters. They're never in the same sc scene at the same time. Because I don't think they're really green-screened in the 80s, right? So I don't know they'd be able to do that.

Wilson 43:24

Yeah, I don't know.

Captain 43:25

Um but yeah, they're never in the same scene at the same time. So um did you look at who Billy Bardy is?

Wilson 43:33

I think it's just some other Yeah, I think yeah, just another actor.

Captain 43:39

Okay.

Wilson 43:40

I didn't look in depth at his um filmography.

Captain 43:43

Um apparently when they were promoting this movie at the Canes Cannes festival, I guess. Um Charles band, so that big producer guy asked the Phil Fonda Caro to put the trunk suit on and hand out flyers, but he refused. Saiding that it would obviously be like too hot um to do that. Apparently he found some French circus performer that fit into the costume, and so he hired that guy to go out there and like prance around. Um but apparently that man did pass out uh or sorry, that woman did pass out in the costume. Uh so he was like, told ya. Um yeah, so then there's Troll 2 and Troll 3, 1990 and 1991. Apparently they have absolutely nothing to do with this movie. They are intended to be more horror, so if they're scarier, did you ever watch Troll 3?

Wilson 44:43

I don't think so. I'm like I think I saw Troll 2, but I very unlikely I saw the third one.

Captain 44:50

Yeah, and then apparently Troll 2 is also sometimes under the name Goblins. I think when I was looking it up on Rotten Tomatoes, I think it's under the the name Goblins. Um it's one of those like films that's on like the worst movies of all time lists.

Wilson 45:08

So yeah.

Captain 45:11

Um but it has developed a cult following, so you are correct with that one.

Wilson 45:18

Um I was just reading the the part here though that it doesn't even seem like it was originally made to be a troll sequel, they just called it troll two.

Captain 45:28

Yeah.

Wilson 45:29

To capitalize on the success, that's interesting.

Captain 45:32

I mean, okay, I guess financially it troll was successful, but the movie's not good. It's not good. And then lastly, apparently all the way in the future, so 2007, John Carl Bouchler announced that he wanted to write a budget, a big budget family-friendly remake with similar or with the same people. So like Noah Hathaway, which okay, the kid, so Harry Potter Jr. Um,

Final Scores Favorite Bits And Next Pick

Captain 46:05

but the project got stuck in development in 2011. It was supposed to be a sequel with him and Ann Lockhart, who plays the witch young version, um, and the guy that plays the troll. But in 2015 it morphed into a some type of animated prequel. Um, but it basically like died um in in its trying to make the project go, and then the director died in 2019, so it's kind of done so. I could see them well, I guess are did they remake the like there is a troll movie that came out in 2022, but I think that's Norwegian. Like, I think it has nothing to do with this like what this world is, I think.

Wilson 46:51

Yeah, I mean that's a pretty like standard name, and I feel like there's a lot of there's like a huge troll like troll hunter. I don't know. Maybe we did that for the podcast. I don't know.

Captain 47:04

Doesn't sound familiar.

Wilson 47:06

What am I thinking of? Because when I Google it, it gives me a kid's thing.

Captain 47:10

Yeah, and then I told you like when I Googled Troll 2, something in 2025 came up. Like, what the fuck was that?

Wilson 47:17

I mean, is it Trolls 2?

Captain 47:19

Oh, oh, it's the Norwegian movie sequel. The Norwegian movie is really highly weighted. I don't know if it's in English at all, but it has like a 97%. I just didn't want to necessarily do a non uh English movie for the podcast.

Wilson 47:34

That's fair. It's on Netflix.

Captain 47:37

Interesting. So well, still not I don't know. Yeah. Um yeah. I I I have no interest in watching any any more movies by this man or like I can't. I if I had to rate this movie, I feel like Dude, you would have to rate this movie. If I'm forced, did you rate this already?

Wilson 48:01

I was about to.

Captain 48:03

I didn't even I mean, I didn't even pull this shit up. Like it's garbage. Um dude, I don't know, man. This is like a one. This is so bad. I didn't like any part of this movie.

Wilson 48:16

Damn, you don't even like the singing?

Captain 48:18

The singing's the worst part. They're all goopy as hell.

Wilson 48:25

So does that mean your race of glasses when the movie ended?

Captain 48:29

There is one line in this movie that I genuinely like kind of chuckled at, and that would probably be my race of glass, but I'm like really stretching.

Wilson 48:45

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it at all.

Captain 48:48

I'm hoping that I like our other troll movie better.

Wilson 48:53

Well, keep an open mind. Uh, but I do think the other one is better. Oh, okay. It's uh it's it's goofy and a little quirky.

Captain 49:03

Yeah, sell it. Go sell it to me. It has slightly better reviews than this movie. Like slightly.

Wilson 49:10

Okay. Well, we're gonna go in and have a good time when it uh good time.

Captain 49:19

Are we celebrating troll month? Are you celebrating troll month accordingly?

Wilson 49:22

How do you think hang out under bridges?

Captain 49:28

Yeah, ask people to solve a riddle.

Wilson 49:30

Or you so it's cragbinder.

Captain 49:33

Sorry. You don't understand my accent. Um, okay, yeah. I I gave this a one star. That that's uh that's gonna be like uh 15%. That's a big I don't even know why it's getting 15. This is a 10%. This is a 10%.

Wilson 49:52

You haven't had one that low in forever. Like you didn't have you enjoyed no part of that.

Captain 49:58

No.

Wilson 49:59

Okay.

Captain 50:00

I don't want to watch anything like that ever again.

Wilson 50:02

Wow.

Captain 50:02

Okay comes strong miffy number two.

Wilson 50:06

Number two.

Captain 50:07

Um, what would you rate it?

Wilson 50:09

Uh I gave it a three. Jeez. Because I mean that's more footage on there. It's like it's not a good movie, but I had fun.

Captain 50:22

That's crazy. That's crazy sauce. Um, okay, did you want to hear the one line that I if I'm forced to pick a rag, this is my rag? Okay. When Eunice is uh being making friends with Harry Potter for the first time, um, she he like comes in and he's like, Do you mind if I come in? I need to use the bathroom. I I think I'm gonna throw up because he just saw Wendy as a troll or something. You know what I'm gonna say? And he goes in the bathroom and then when he comes out, Eunice says, Did you pop all your cookies? And I was like, Why the fuck would you say it that way? Um so and he was like, nah, um false alarm, but yeah, pop all your cookies is such a strange way to say, Did you throw up?

Wilson 51:13

I'm surprised that wasn't a review for troll, because usually I like to like reviews so they show up for your rating, like other people that look at your um what? Yeah, yeah, like if uh for a movie you've rated, if you like any of the other reviews, it'll show which reviews you liked.

Captain 51:33

If something How do you look at other people's oh down here are this reviews?

Wilson 51:39

Yeah, like if you click on mine on letterbox of this movie, it'll show it'll say like the other thing with the name Harry Potter.

Captain 51:49

It's like this is a magical movie about a kid that gets thrown into a magical world who becomes magical and his name's Harry Potter. Like, it's really sus, Wilson. Like, that's sus.

Wilson 52:07

It is pretty sus.

Captain 52:09

Like, I saw that was one of the things people said in this review that yeah. Do you have a razor glass?

Wilson 52:16

Um, I kind of like the singing. It was like outrageous.

Captain 52:22

Your ringtone?

Wilson 52:23

Yeah, money ringtone. I don't know. That's about it. That's all I got.

Captain 52:29

They don't even get through the whole song, like it's cut off.

Wilson 52:32

Oh, so you do want to hear more of it.

Captain 52:34

No, I'm just saying, like, it's not even you don't even get like, you know, a song like Oompa Oompa's singing. Like, you don't even get a whole thing.

Wilson 52:44

Um Troll 2.

Captain 52:46

Yeah, Troll Two. Uh one of these reviews suggest barely passable cinema. Um, yeah, I I yeah, I would not recommend. Um next time, though, we're doing Ernest Scared Stupid, Your Choice.

Wilson 53:09

Yes, with the famous Jim Varney.

Captain 53:12

Last time you watched this movie was when?

Wilson 53:15

Uh I might have watched it in h or college, but otherwise it was when I was really little.

Captain 53:22

I don't think I've ever heard of these movies. And then I come to find out there's like eight or nine of them.

Wilson 53:26

So it's the guy who voiced, was it Slinky? The Slinky Dog from Toy Story. Yeah.

Captain 53:32

Yeah. And I love Slinky. Yeah. I don't think it's the same role at all, but I was like, Slink. It's like, wow. He also voiced another character that's like really random, but I recently saw this character, but you'll have to find out next time.

Wilson 53:47

Ooh.

Captain 53:48

And the Red Run podcast. Um, yeah, I don't know. Do you have anything

Real Advice Interior Decorator

Captain 53:55

else? Anything else to add?

Wilson 53:56

Can you give me advice?

Captain 53:58

Oh, um, oh my god. Wilson, I don't I hate it. Everything's bad. Everything's bad. Don't do anything that's good. Don't watch this movie. Yeah, don't do anything that's in this movie. Don't watch this movie. Don't yeah, I don't know, man.

Wilson 54:16

I'm gonna ignore your advice.

Captain 54:19

Um, okay, let's say. Real advice. Okay, this is like super random and doesn't really have like a main part of the main story, but personally, I hate the way every apartment in this movie is decorated, like passionately. So, true real advice would be um please hire an interior decorator. And that's like real advice, to me.