Own Your Work

Test Your Yes: How To Create a Criteria for Saying Yes at Work

• Sonja Holmes

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Imagine truly owning your work life, making decisions seamlessly, and carving a career path that aligns with your desires. Sound impossible? Think again! The power to decide what you say 'yes' and 'no' to at work is the game-changer you've been missing. Join us as we embark on this empowering journey towards gaining control over your work life.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of opportunities and tasks that come your way? Before you dole out another 'yes', let's pause and evaluate. In this episode, we take a deep dive into the art of identifying which projects are worth your commitment. Get ready to equip yourself with a framework that will guide you in making strategic decisions. We’ll share thought-provoking questions and discuss how to protect your 'yes' to avoid spreading yourself too thin. 

And that's not all; we will also explore how to assess project opportunities. Learn to identify high-visibility projects with the potential to drive impact and those that will contribute to building, sharpening, or showcasing your skills. We wrap up this exciting discussion with tips on how to create your personal criteria for decision-making, keeping your energy and mindset into consideration. Tune in and start to reclaim your power, set boundaries and take control of your time. No more letting work own you, it’s time for you to own your work!

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https://www.sonjaholmes.com

Sonja Holmes:

Having clarity on when to say yes and when to say no at work is probably one of the most underrated things that can completely change the way that you experience work. It really allows you to take your power back, it helps you to set boundaries and it really helps you to take control of your time. And there's so many different things that will bid for your attention, and in this episode, I want to help you create a criteria for saying yes and saying no to things, so you can have clarity on what you should move forward with. Now, before we get into the episode, I have to say this, of course, with anything, any kind of advice that you hear anywhere, not just here always exercise your judgment. You know what's best for you in your career and your organization, and there's no advice out there that really is cookie cutter. And I want to say this that this is just inspiration. These are things for you to think about, and these are things and maybe ideas, hopefully to get you started so you can start taking control and having clarity on what you should be saying yes and no to at your work. Now, if you listen to this episode and you're like, you know what, I want to create a criteria for myself, but I don't know where to get started. I want to encourage you, even with these questions that I share, come up with your own and maybe, if you have a little fear or you're unsure about what you can say yes and no, to come up with a criteria. Create an interactive process with your leader to ensure that you are saying yes to the right things, right, that you are in an agreement with what you should be saying yes and no to. But this is something if you can do on your own, or you can work with your leader to make sure that you are in agreement. But there is clarity that you can't say yes to everything, and you want to get clarity on what you should be saying yes to and what you should be saying no to, so you can take control of your work. I can't wait to share this episode with your friends. All right, let's get into it. Hey friends, it's Sonia Holmes here and you're listening to the On your Work podcast, where I bring you some inspiration and actionable steps to help you create your best work life. Yet and you might be asking Sonia well, what's my best work life? Well, friend, that's one that actually works for you and, let's be real, you know when it's not working, all right.

Sonja Holmes:

So in our last episode, friends, we talked about breaking the cycle of under-earning and we addressed some very common beliefs and misconceptions and things that we were taught. You know, that was given to us probably a lot of us by default, and some things that we have to unlearn in order to really create the career and the impact that we need in order for us to really start earning the money that you know our work deserves. So we talked about a couple different ideas and some things that we needed to unlearn, but in this episode, I want to talk about one of them and dive in a little bit deeper and help you with that one idea a little bit more. So that first idea that we talked about was doing good work. Right, that's one of these ideas that we were taught that doing good work if you do good work, you'll get noticed. That will lead to the position or the money and all the things that you want and desire when it comes to work. And that's not so, and we talked about how we have to unlearn that and start being more strategic and thoughtful about our career and start asking ourselves okay, what is the right work? Because of the good work that's the goals, that's you know the day to day that the what's expected for you to, you know, meet the bar in that role right, that's good work, right. But then the right work is the things that you do that are high impact, that lasts even beyond your time at that company. It's it makes an impact, it brings value and you actually understand it and you're able to articulate it. But they're usually high impact, high visibility work that you're, that you're doing. These sometimes come in a form of certain kind of projects as well too.

Sonja Holmes:

But With that topic and with that idea, I wanted to dig into this a little bit more. Because what happens and I can say this from personal experience as well to what happens in our journey, in our pursuit to start doing the right work, a lot of great opportunities start coming your way and because you're already doing good work, people start reaching out to you to work on some projects because they know of your work, your work ethic, and they want you to be a part of it, or they know about your expertise and it sounds like it's something good, right, like hey, this is an opportunity, right. But I want us to think a little more strategically, because you don't have to say yes to every project that comes to your desk. So I want to help you in this episode, really dig into okay, we know that doing good work isn't enough right, it's doing the right work, but as these opportunities start coming to your way and you start seeing all these different opportunities for you to be a part of, I want you to start thinking about okay, what should I be saying yes to? Because what happens sometimes is that if we're saying yes to everything, we can have a lot of activity going on and it can compromise the actual value that you're bringing. Or we can have a lot of activity but not really making an impact, and it's better to have less activity and more impact than vice versa. So I really want to encourage you to start thinking about high impact work and I want to help you do this without leading yourself to burnout, thinking that you have to work all these extra hours and all these different things. And you know, because stretch goals and growth projects, they don't have to spread you thin and they don't have to burn you out. And I think what happens, and what I see in the field. A lot is that when people are trying to get ahead in their career, it can lead to burnout because they're saying yes to everything. They think they have to raise their hands at everything, and I want you to be more strategic about your yes. I want you to really protect your yes and I want you to be strategic about what you say no to.

Sonja Holmes:

So in this episode, I guess we might call this I don't know yet, but we might call this test your yes. I want to help you come up with a criteria for you to test your yes, for you to figure out what is going to get a yes for you. This is how you qualify these projects that come across your desk to see if it's something that you should say yes to, if you should strongly consider it and if you should move forward with Okay. So I'm going to share some of the things that the questions that I think about. Right, and let me just be clear to this is an area as well that I'm working on and I'm always working on to get better, because, by default, I'm a people pleaser and when someone thinks about me for an opportunity, I get really excited and I'm happy and I just want to help. So I, my default, has been always to say yes, and I had to unlearn that default and try to make my default the no, unless it fits in certain criteria. So, anyways, these questions again that I'm sharing with you.

Sonja Holmes:

It's not an exhaustive list and it's not even something that I say hey, take this and use it as your own. You can. Maybe this might inspire you, but I really want you to just be thoughtful. And what you're saying yes to. So these are examples to inspire you and to get you thinking about what should be the criteria or the framework for my yes. Okay, your yes is so valuable. So I want you to test your yes before you start moving forward and be all stressed.

Sonja Holmes:

Okay, y'all, I sometimes I get a little carried away with my rhymes and stuff, all right, so the very first question that I think about when I'm testing my yes, or if it's a project that I should, you know, consider for me, this first question is like a non starter right, and this is do I have the bandwidth and or could I easily reprioritize my current load to make this work within my working hours? Now, I actually keep that in there within my working hours. Now you may say like I can take that part out because I don't mind going over, you know, or working, you know, weekends and things like that. For me in the season that I'm in and I've been there where I didn't have that in my like criteria and what that led to for me sometimes is resentment or feeling burnt out, stretched and just spread too thin. So I I've tweaked my question and I have that in there now, just to make sure that I'm thinking about my work day, you know, and my workload in my capacity, right. So again, that question is do I have the bandwidth and or could easily reprioritize my current workload to make this work within my working hours? Right? And if the answer is no, it usually unless this, if you know, this is expected of me and you know, that's where you need to really dig in with your you know, with your leader, things like that, and sometimes you can shift some things and reprioritize them, but you, I want to encourage you to own your know right. There's, I think. Sometimes we think we have to say yes to everything and that's really not the case. So really have an interactive conversation and find out is this something that truly is expected and that of me in this role, or is this something that I have autonomy, or, you know, I'm able to actually make that decision, so I want you to think about that.

Sonja Holmes:

But, for me, that's usually the first question that I'm asking myself, and if it's a no, then it's usually a non-starter and I don't progress to the rest of the questions. So if it is a yes, though, then the next question, or the next follow up question that's a good one to ask, is okay, how am I doing? Like, how am I doing as well, too, when you're thinking about your capacity? Like, how are you doing with your immediate productivity goals and the goals that, the things that are already required of you? Like, how are you doing with that as well, before you start taking on extracurricular things and extra projects? Like, how are you with meeting the goals that are already in front of you? Okay, but again, if you don't have the capacity, in most cases it probably should be a no, a non-starter, and you just start right there.

Sonja Holmes:

But if you have the yes, then the next question that I usually like to ask, or I recommend, is is this aligned with my personal, my team or my organization's goals or current initiatives? Now, if it's a no, and it's something that was brought to you or something that you're still kind of interested in, then I would say, if not, you might wanna ask yourself why is this important and who will this benefit and how will this benefit them, right? So, for an example, you could even have an opportunity to work on a special certification, and maybe it's something that's not needed in your role, maybe it's something that's not expected of you in your role, right? And so, again, it's not meeting some of those things, right, it's not. It doesn't meet that first question. It's not aligned with the goal, it's not your current organization goal or initiative, right? But you realize that this can actually benefit me, because if I get this certification, then I would be able to X, y and Z, or I can bring this back to the team, or I see that there's a gap and me. Getting this certification can help me to get a deeper understanding of X, y and Z so that I can do my job better. It's like being a tech recruiter and getting a technical certification, even though it's not required for your role, but it helps you to get a better understanding of, maybe, some of the technical things, as you're talking to candidates who have a technical background, and it gives you that more credibility and it can really benefit you. I want you to think about it like that. Even though it might not always be something that's aligned to a goal or your team organization, your organizational goals or companies initiatives you want to start thinking about. Okay, if it is still something that's an opportunity, how will this benefit me or the company or my team? Think about that as well. Those are two questions for you to think about, like two wrapped in one part A, part B.

Sonja Holmes:

The next question, or third question that I'd like to ask myself is about the visibility in the impact. Does this project have an opportunity for a high visibility and a high impact? Now, sometimes you don't always know the true impact of something until it's been done. Sometimes the impact is things that we didn't really expect. But high visibility and impact typically means that maybe leaders or teams beyond just your team and your first line leader are going to have visibility and experience the benefits of you doing this. It's going to impact not just your team, but maybe a couple of teams or a couple of different organizations within your company. Think about that as well, too, because the higher visibility and impact that you can make. It usually is beneficial as well, too. If you are starting to think very strategic about your time and the work that you're doing so that you can make a greater impact, this is a question that I wouldn't skip over. I highly recommend this.

Sonja Holmes:

This might feel a way, if you're someone who's used to like I just want to help, right, you might start to feel like, well, how come I can't just help just to help you can. I've done that in the past. There's been a lot of times where I've just help and taken on projects when it didn't benefit me, when it wasn't going to lead to or have an opportunity for high visibility and impact, or when it wasn't aligned with a personal or a team or my organizational goals or initiatives. There were times when I took things on. I did that so many times.

Sonja Holmes:

But what I want to encourage you to do and I'm doing for myself as well too in order to be more strategic with your time so you can create your best work life yet you have to be strategic with your yes and, if you want to just be mindful, like how this can impact you, how this is going to impact your workload, because sometimes doing while it might feel like oh you know just goodwill, doing these kind of things can lead you to just burnout. So everything doesn't always have to have high visibility, but really be mindful. I want you to start thinking about high impact. How can you make a bigger impact? And I think once you start thinking about impact, like that is the thing that you always had that's going to carry with you to interviews to your next company, like your ability to identify high impact and make an impact beyond just your current goals, like that is something that's needed. Okay, so I encourage you to keep this question in there. I think it is a good qualifier.

Sonja Holmes:

The next question that I think is really important right that you're thinking about as you, if you're determining if I should say yes or if I should say no to this, is is this either an opportunity to skill build, skill sharpen or skill showcase? Right, and what I mean by that. Sometimes it could be a project to learn how to do something that you've never done. That would be a skill building project. You had no experience with this, and this is going to allow you to get some experience and start building a skill right. Then there's sometimes where you might already have that skill, a little bit of it, right, some experience with it, but you need to sharpen it and get better at it, right? You know that there's an opportunity for you to sharpen and to improve in that particular area. So it could be a skill sharpening project. Those are really good as well, too. Or it could be a skill showcase project as well.

Sonja Holmes:

Now, showcasing means that you already have this skill, you have this experience, but within your current role, you just hadn't had the opportunity to showcase it. And taking on a project that allows you to showcase a skill that you already have usually is amazing because it's usually a strength, is something that you do. Well, and that was. It's going to bring you visibility because you're doing something that's already a strength of yours, and now you're just showing them like hey look, I already had this skill, I just didn't have the opportunity to showcase it. And you're taking on this and you're being able to just show another side of you that maybe your role didn't allow you to show. So I always ask myself about you know, I think about this when I'm trying to figure out if it's something I should take on or not.

Sonja Holmes:

And then my final question that I recommend that you ask yourself is does the thought of taking on this project feel more exciting and exhilarating or more draining? Right, and that could be even. Does this, the thought of this, feel energizing? Right? When I think about taking on this project, working with this group, contributing and doing all the things right, does this bite me? Does it energize me? Or when I think about this, do I already get stressed out? Do I already feel drained Right? Because when you think about that, and if it's a no, and you know that this is going to be an energy drainer, right, this is going to bring you out then, like, look, prioritize your mindset, your energy, your wellness as well. Okay, so I encourage you to have that question in there. So those are five questions, and I know some of them had like sub questions as well, but those are really five like main questions that I think are really important when it comes to, when it comes to testing your yes, when it comes to creating your own criteria to you know what you say, should say yes to and what you should take on in this season.

Sonja Holmes:

Now, one of the things that you need to know as well too and I probably should have mentioned this, like before, right, but I think you need to know, before even starting this process, the information that you need to make the decision and start to test it right. And that really is this question of, like, how much time commitment is involved and, like you know, what is the cadence of the meetings, what will be expected of you as well too, what's the duration of the project? Is there a start at end time? Is there a deadline for it as well too? So you want to think about those even before you start to go through the criteria, because even like the first question, again, like, do you have the bandwidth? Right? Again, like you can't really answer that question if you don't know, like, what the time commitment is. So I think knowing that first, starting with, like, how much time commitment is involved, what does that look like, knowing those things first and then going through those five questions, will really help you to test your yes. Now I do.

Sonja Holmes:

Of course, we can't talk about, you know, saying yes without saying no. So when you test your yes, there's going to be a time when you might get to an end and you realize, like no, I don't have the bandwidth, or no, this really isn't a good opportunity for me right now, or there isn't any benefit you know this isn't benefiting my organization or you know this just doesn't make sense for me right now, in this moment. And then that leads you to the no right and you have to say no. And saying no, come on y'all. It's not always easy, especially for someone like me, who is a people pleaser right, who I'm always unlearning that like there's so much power, though, with standing in your no, and I'm practicing it. But I want to share with you how to say no, and I think the my advice.

Sonja Holmes:

When it comes to you've gone through this process and you realize it ain't a fit. The first thing I'd say is you know for yourself, acknowledge that they actually thought about you and they're coming to you for a reason, so that's a good thing. But when it comes to saying no, my recommendation and what I'm learning for myself is to keep it simple, but also acknowledge that they thought of you for a reason and it is an honor and it's a privilege, it's a wonderful thing that they thought about you. So what I'm working on is keep having a very simple no. Now I know there's a lot of different templates. I've seen templates out there on. You know how to say no. Thank you for the opportunity.

Sonja Holmes:

I don't think I have the bandwidth or the capacity to be able to take this on and do a great job Like I wouldn't recommend going into all that. I really want you to be able to stand in your no and in your power of your no, and I also, as I said in the last episode, our language is so important. So I want to encourage you to keep it simple and try to avoid saying things I don't think I can take this on or you know I'm unable to do this. Like your no is your decision on that. You know you can do it if you want to, but you don't want to. Okay. So you don't need to say I don't think I can or I can't take this on right now. You don't need to say that your language is important and it's powerful. You can take this on, but you're deciding not to because you went through the criteria for yes, you tested your yes and you know this isn't a fit. So For me, I think about keeping it simple and I'm still playing with this a little bit.

Sonja Holmes:

I'm still practicing to be completely honest, but for me. I Just wanted to be natural, but I also don't want to make excuses and I don't want to take my power away from me, so I just try to keep it real simple. Thanks so much for thinking about me. It sounds like a great opportunity, or it sounds like an excited opportunity. However, I'm gonna sit this one out like boom, that's it like not. I think I need to sit this out. I can't commit to this like they don't usually need to know all those things, and you can, but you've chosen not to, because you're prioritizing your time, your capacity, your wellness, and I want to encourage you to stand in your power. Keep a simple yes. I Remember in one of our episodes I believe it was coach Ali and our episode but she said no is a complete sentence. Exercise that right. If you have to just say no and leave it at that, that's you can do that as well, but for me, I like to say you know, thanks for thinking of me, sounds like an exciting opportunity. However, I'm gonna sit this one out like that's how I talk, y'all so, but something along those lines, but one that doesn't take the power away from me, that doesn't put the decision on some, you know powers at B. I can't right now, or it's not something I think I like. No, no, keep it simple. Thanks for thinking of me. I'm going to pass on this opportunity Whatever, whatever feels natural and works for you, but I strongly encourage you to keep it simple and if a whole you know Lecture or a whole list or monologue is not needed about all the commitments that you already have going on, don't put that in there.

Sonja Holmes:

Unless it's obligated, like because you know in a one-on-one with your manager and they want to understand a little bit more about your workload, then you can always do that. But if it's not needed, just give the information that's needed. That's it Okay. Own your know standing, your know on your power. Remember your language is very important and own your yes as well too. So I hope that you found this episode a little encouraging and I hope you Can really just dive into what doing the right work looks like without being burnt out, like how to set boundaries, how to, how to test your yes, how to create a criteria For you to say yes to things, right. I hope that this at least gets you started and you can maybe start coming up with your own questions, right? Maybe four or five questions or criteria that you know things have to meet in order for you to say yes After you come up with that. If it doesn't meet it, friends, own your know and stay in in that. Okay, all right now.

Sonja Holmes:

I know I didn't mention it I mentioned in the last episode, but I really want to encourage you to start thinking about high impact work and I created a list, if you can get it, at Sonya Homes comm for its slash ideas, but it's 21 different ideas. They're like growth projects, really to help you to start thinking about high impact work, things that you can do beyond your current goals, things that you can do to drive impact and value within your current organization and, of course, they start with you know owning what you already do well. So it's a really, really great. Just a list that I made. I want to encourage you to grab it because there's some good ideas there. So Sonya Homes comm for its slash ideas. There's 21 fantastic ideas for you to just start thinking about. You know, growth projects and ideas that are high impact to really bring some value to the company that you're at right now.

Sonja Holmes:

All right, friends. Well, that's about it for today. Again, I hope that you Take this information and create a criteria to test your yes and remember until next time, friends, remember there's so much more to you than the work that you do. Own your work. Don't let work own you. Thanks so much for listening, friends, until next time, bye you.