"Fathers Are Priceless" - Ephesians 5:22-33

From the time of creation, God designed man to be the leader, provider, and instructor in our marriage, in our families, and in our church.

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, church, good morning. Happy Father's Day to everyone this morning. I'm not here because Bo is with his father in Philly. And I gotta tell you, when Bo approached me a couple weeks ago and said, Hey, would you mind preaching the Father's Day message? I just could not tell you how humbled I was and how excited I was to be able to do that, to bring you the message this morning. So thank you for allowing me to share. The message this morning is titled, Fathers Are Priceless. But what I really wanted to title it was Fathers Are Priceless, Fathers Are Invaluable, Irreplaceable, Indispensable, God's Gift, A Child's Hero, and a Wife's Dream. But unfortunately, that wouldn't fit on the cover of the bulletin. But fathers, you are priceless. So I want to start this morning by just contrasting two children. I want to talk about Candace and I want to talk about Britney. Okay, Candace and Britney both grew up in a middle-income family in a nice neighborhood. They grew up across the street from each other. Okay, one child, Candace, as she was growing up, she was just not a happy child. Okay, she hung around with the wrong people. She had poor grades in school. By the time Candace was 14 years old, she was hanging out with boys like 16 and 17 years old. Unfortunately, she became pregnant at the age of 15. She had an abortion. She dropped out of school. She had two more children out of wedlock. She ended up on welfare, and her children followed the same destructive lifestyle. Now let's talk about Brittany. Neighbors, friends, right across the street from each other. Brittany was always joyful and bubbly. She had good friends and enjoyed their time together. She was a good student and really enjoyed school. In high school, she received a fully paid volleyball scholarship to a top university. She married an accountant, had two children who grew up in her footsteps, and became very productive. So let me ask you a question. What's the difference between the two girls? Right? Why did Candace fail in virtually every aspect of her life while Brittany excelled in just about everything she did? I think you know the answer to that. Because Brittany grew up with a father. See, Candace's father bailed on her when she was two years old. So the question this morning, folks, is does a man, a father figure, make a difference in a child's life? Let me give you some statistics before you answer that. A child that grows up with a father is a 43% higher chance of making A's in school. There's a 33% less likelihood of that child repeating a grade. They are less likely to act out in school. They show lower level of delinquency. And here's a biggie. With a father, they are seven, a woman is 75% less likely to get pregnant as a teen. A child is twice as likely to go on to college, and they have an 80% less chance of ever being incarcerated. What about a toddler? What about a father's involvement in a toddler? The toddler will have higher IQ, better language skills, and greater cognitive ability. A father's present in teenage years significantly reduces the risk of youth involvement in gangs and violent crimes. An active father involvement overall improves cognitive, social, emotional development while reducing behavioral issues. So I ask you again: do you think that the father had anything at all to do with Britney's success? The answer is obvious. Fathers are priceless. Let me take it up a notch. Okay? I don't want to just talk to your fathers today. I want to talk to your grandfathers. I want to talk to your future fathers. I want to talk to anybody in this room who even has a father. Okay, I want to talk to every man in this room. Because pay attention, because God has given you men a gift. Understand that. And you may not seek it, and you may not want it, and you may not even accept it. But here's the problem: you have no choice. The gift God gave you is not optional. Guys, men, husbands, fathers, that gift God gave you was leadership. God called men to be leaders. Understand this, okay? There are different variations and abilities in leaders. There are some gifts that are more prevalent than others, but God created men to be leaders in some capacity. And as a leader, men, that means you are ahead of your home, you are ahead of your marriage, you are responsible for your children's upbringing, you are the spiritual leader, and you are responsible to teach your family. Whoa, burden. Dads are priceless. So what am I really trying to say? What's the point of all this? What's everything in a nutshell is this? From the time of creation, God designed man to be the leader, the provider, and instructor in our marriage, in our families, and in our church. Men, fathers, husbands, we need to step up to the plate and do exactly what God commanded us as men to do. And what is that? I'm so glad you asked. Because it's found in Scripture. If you have your Bible, please turn to Ephesians chapter 5. If you don't have your Bible and you have Pew Bible, you'll find that on page 1162 in your Pew Bible. We're going to be in Ephesians. And if you're able, would you please stand? And we're going to be reading from chapter 5, verses 22 through 33. Ephesians 5, 22 through 33. I'm reading from the NLT. It says, for wives, this means submit to your husbandness to the Lord. For a husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the savior of his body, the church, as Christ submit as the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives. Just as Christ loved the church, gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or a wrinkle or other blemish. Instead, she will be holy without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body, but feeds and cares for it just as Christ cares for the church. We are the members of his body. As the Scripture says, a man leaves his father and mother, is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. This is the great mystery, but is an illustration of the way Christ and the Church are one. So again, I say each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Let's pray. Father, thank you for your word. Father, it's not an easy passage. It's not an easy topic, but Father, as men we're called to step up to the plate. As fathers, we're called to lead our children, our family. And what better message on this Father's Day, Lord, than just to hold ourselves accountable and challenge ourselves to what you have us in your word. I thank you, Father. Lord, I pray you'd be with me as I deliver this message, and may we all be challenged through it in Jesus' name. Amen. You may be seated. Men, be a leader. Provide for your family, provide for your wife. Men, be the leader of your children and your grandchildren. Be the leader in your church and your community. You know, if we look around, we will see that God had a purpose for everything. Okay? Something simple. God created a horse. Right? Why did God create a horse? Right? He used it for plowing. The farmer couldn't have done without a horse. Okay, you used it for transportation. It was a work horse. God created animals. For what purpose? For us, for human beings. We're controlled the animals. It's for food. God created woman. Why? Because God said, I need someone. You know, so God said, I will create something for you, man. I will create a woman for you. And then God created man for the purpose of being the head. Likewise, God has given us fathers and husbands a purpose. We have a role to fulfill. In our short time this morning, I want to go over three biblical truths that God gave fathers and husbands. The first biblical truth is this father and husband is to lead. Verse 23 of Ephesians makes it clear. Men, I got some bad news and some good news. If you're not a good husband, you will not be a good father. It's that simple. You can't be one or the other. You have to be both. What is our role as a husband? As a husband, as a Christian husband, is to lead not to Lord. Let me repeat that. Husbands, it is our job to lead, not Lord. 1 Peter 5, 3 says, do not lord it over people assigned to your care, but lead by your good example. You know what? Being a leader is hard. Nobody said it was going to be easy. It's lonely at the top. Husbands, lead in such a way that your wife should sit back and say, I am so glad that God didn't call me for that role. Your wife should never, ever feel the burden of having to lead the family. Lead in a way that makes your wife respect you and never fear you. God created you for this role. He said that I didn't. Okay, we have no choice. That's the role God gave us. As a Christian husband, we are also to be a protector and a provider, not bullying or abusive. 1 Thessalonians 7 says, being gentle like a nursing mother, caring for her children. I remember when I was in third grade, I became friends with a boy who was his name was Jim as well. And I was in third grade, and believe it or not, he was in sixth grade. He's already flunked three times. Okay? So he was head and shoulders taller than anybody else in the third grade. And for some reason, Jim became attached to me, and I became attached to him. And we were out on the playground one day, and a bully came up to me and started hassling me, and here comes Jim. Okay? And he looked at this kid and said, if you want him, you got to go through me. Right? Whoa. You can't have a better friend. That is exactly how your wife should feel when she is with you. Knowing there is a shield of protection for her. Knowing she will always be provided for. Do you want a wife to submit? Show her she never ever has to fear making that decision. A Christian husband is also a servant, not a dictator. Matthew 20 says, true greatness comes from serving, not exercising authority. So the question might be, how do you serve while maintaining authority? Okay, I was asked that question once. I used to be an executive director of a Christian camp. And every month I'd write a newsletter. And I'd sign that newsletter, your fellow servant, Jim Savage. Well, the president of the board one time came up to me and he said, Jim, we got to have a chat. He said, What's this servant stuff? He said, You're the executive director of this camp. You're an executive, you're not a servant. He said, Why are you signing your letters, your fellow servant? And so we talked about it, and I said, Well, Dave, I'll tell you what, I said, I'll I'll give it some thought. I will truly, truly think about it. So the next month, I'm sitting there writing out my newsletter, and I'm looking at it and thinking, what am I gonna do? So I decided to sign it, your executive servant, Jim Savage. Folks, I am proud to be a servant. Proud. Why? Because Philippians 2 tells us that though he, meaning Jesus, he was God, he did not think equality with God as something to cling to. He gave up his privilege and became a servant. Remember when I was 13 years old, applying for my first job, I sat in the boss's office, and I couldn't help but notice he had a plaque sitting on his desk. And his plaque said, True authority gives you the power to never have to use it. Jesus, the Son of God, said serving is the best way to show leadership. Okay, now let's look at the role of our fathers. The father is first and foremost, folks, a spiritual leader. Proverbs 22, 6 says, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's older, he will not depart from it. Fathers, dads, if we fail on this one, it involves eternal consequences. It is the father's responsibility, dad, to shepherd the family, to teach in the home, to pray in the home, to stay connected to a church, to make sure that your children have sound biblical education. Jesus taught his disciples to have faith, to fast, to pray, and he taught them to be what? Leaders, fathers, dads. We had that same responsibility to our children. Jesus exemplified what the Bible, what Bible leadership looks like. It's servant leadership. This is true for husbands, and it's true for fathers. Just as Christ leads the church, so men are to lead their families. And sometimes it's tough. It involves sacrifice for the ones you love. Sometimes leadership means giving up something. And I know this is tough. It's tough. Okay? Man, I was really planning on going golfing. I guess, you know, something came up, I can't do it. You mean I can't make this hunting trip? You mean, honey, I can't go out fishing? No, there are times that things are more important rather than the things that we as a father want to do. We have to give up. Sometimes spending time doing things that we don't even want to do. But sometimes leadership means, guys, we have to be the bad guy. The father's job is to enforce the rules in the home. And you know what happens too often? We give up that responsibility. We say, Mom, it's yours, I'm going fishing. Mom, it's yours, I'm going hunting. It is our responsibility, guys. We cannot pass that off onto the mom. But that does not mean, please understand this, that does not mean mom cannot enforce the rules. They can. They're definitely supposed to do that. But we do not neglect our responsibility as the leader of the house. Remember back in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve sinned, God came looking for who? He came looking for Adam. He didn't come looking for Eve. He said, Adam, I got to talk to you. And what did Adam do? He blew it. He tried to blame it on Eve. Well, the woman gave it to me, right? Leadership, folks, means accepting responsibility for the entire family and not passing it off. A leader, whether a father or a husband, should be that one person in their life that will always be there to lead. A husband and a father should be that one person your wife or your child can look up to. A father, a husband should be that one person that no matter what, no matter what, will support you, encourage you, and let you know that you are special. You know what? My father wasn't like that. And maybe yours wasn't either. See, I didn't have the privilege of growing up with Christian parents. My dad taught me what his dad taught him. Okay? And you know what that was? It was to yell. And in my house, apparently the one who yelled the loudest wins. And dad always yelled the loudest. Ephesians 6, 4 tells us, fathers do not provoke children to anger. Bring them up with discipline and instructions of the Lord. See, my father was a good man. He was not a bad guy, but he was incapable of teaching sound biblical truths. Dad, this is critical. We must, we have to be able to teach our children Christian values to consider others above yourself. Teach them biblical truths. That if God said it, it's in the word, it's true. Moral standards, that there is an absolute truth, an ethical conduct, to respect authority. Dads, we are called to raise our children with godly wisdom, setting a Christ-like example and teaching the word of God. Maybe you didn't grow up that way. Maybe your father didn't do that. But you know what? You can. Okay, so the first biblical truth is father and husband is to lead. The second biblical truth is a father and a husband is to love. Verse 25 said, Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave up his life. Guys, this is simple. Husbands, we must be willing to die for our wife. It's that simple. Just die for. We must be willing to love unconditionally. We must be willing to forgive. Love means that no matter what a family member does, love will hold the family together while we work it out. Next to our relationship with Jesus Christ, nothing, nothing is more important than loving your wife and caring for her. James Dobson was once asked and focused on the family. He said, Mr. Dobson, You must really love quilting. Because you go to the quilting museum with your wife all the time. He looked at the fan and said, No, not really, but I love my wife and she likes to go to the quilting museum. How much do you love your wife? Do you really love her enough to go to the quilting museum? I was once asked that very question to a group of leaders, and when I was in Papua New Guinea, a group of leaders, pastors, chiefs, I was asked that question: what does it mean to love your wife? Well, see, in Papua New Guinea, they have a thing called tail feathers. They go out and they hunt birds, which is a hard thing to do because they don't have guns. So when you catch the bird, you take all the tail feathers and you make this headband. And it's the pride and joy of any man, of any leader. And they have these huge, huge, they go down to the ground, but just clutch feathers after feathers. And the more feathers you have, the more prestige you have, the more prouder you are, the more the better fighter you are. And it's it's everything to a man. And as I'm teaching these men, I said, you love your wives more than you love your tail feathers. And I'm telling you, I thought they were gonna run me out of town. They go, what? How can that possibly be? To us, that makes no sense, but trust me, folks, to them it does. Okay? Husbands, let your wives know that nothing is more precious than she. Tell her that you love her more than your tail feathers. Love her with all your heart, because that's what we're called to do. Never ever get this one wrong. She submits, you die. Okay? I had someone ask me one time, well, can I submit and she die? No, that's not the way it works. God didn't design it that way. Now, guys, we stand up. We take the hit. We are to love our wives to death. That's how God designed it. Okay, dads, what about you? Being a father means showing up for your child because it's your duty. It's your duty to be there when they first start to walk. It's your duty to be there running beside them while they're learning how to ride a bicycle. It's your duty to be there when they need help with their homework. Wow, Dad, it's your daughter. It's your duty to be there when your daughter starts to date. Tell you what, I wouldn't be anywhere else. Right? I'm there. It's your place to be there when they want to enter the workforce and they have questions. And guys, it's your duty to be there when they come back to you later in life and ask questions about them raising your grandchildren. See, fathering a child is easy. Having a child doesn't take a whole lot of work and it doesn't make you a man. But loving and teaching, encouraging, and providing godly care does. I remember when my daughter was young, I used to have a t-shirt that I used to wear around. And it said, anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy. Young guys in this church, I just want to take just a minute and address you specifically to you and let you know something. Your children are here today and they're gone tomorrow. Cherish the limited time you have with them. Cherish it. And you know what? I guarantee two things. One, you are going to make mistakes. Guarantee it. We all do. But I'll guarantee you something else. You will remember it more than they. When my daughter was 39, 40 years old, something like that, I asked her one time, I said, Julie, I said, I gotta ask you a question. I said, what do I need to apologize for? What did I do as I was raising you that I need to seek your forgiveness? And you know what she said? No, Dad, you did a great job. You know what every father wants to hear someday? Well done, my good and faithful servant. You know the second thing every father wants to hear? Thanks, Dad. I'm proud to be your child. On this Father's Day, remember that. You only have one shot of this, Dad. Only one shot. Take every minute you have and make it count. Okay, so in the final time, first biblical truth, fathers and husbands is to lead. Second biblical truth, fathers and husbands is to love. And finally, the third biblical truth, a father and husband is to be loyal. Ephesians 5.31 tells us a man leaves his father and mother, he's united to his wife, and the two shall become one. That means that no matter what, guys, we stick it out. We don't give up. We make it work. Matthew 19, 16 says, When God is joined together, let no man separate. Let nothing, nothing come between you and your wife. Let her know you're there. She is your priority. Let her know that. You are one, just like the church and Christ are one. Ephesians 5, 2 says, be imitators of Christ in all you do. Think about Christ. He never abandoned his disciples. He never abandoned the church. He never abandoned his calling. If we imitate Christ, we will never abandon our commitment to our wife or to our family. Dads, husbands, hear this. Critical. The devil is trying to assassinate your marriage. You know that? Every day he's doing something. He's throwing barricades in front of us. He's putting barriers in front of us. He's doing something to assassinate our marriage, trying to destroy our families. And you know what? He knows exactly how to do it. Lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh. Matthew 28 says, But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for has already committed adultery with her in his heart. And I know what you're thinking, guys. I know exactly what to think. Can't happen to me. No, man, I'm strong. Devil can't get ain't gonna happen. There's no way. Did you know the general survey says that 20%, one in five men will cheat on their spouse? That's huge. Men, you are 45% more likely to cheat than your wife. And this applies to the men in our church as well. Still think it can happen to you? One more story. Let me tell you about Russ. I mentioned a few minutes ago about the Christian camp. Russ would bring his kids out to camp every summer. And he would spend two weeks with me while he was out there. We had a great time. He was an amazing carpenter, and we would do, we would build things and we'd fellowship together, and we'd have a great time. And year after year after year, Russ would come out. And I look forward to it every year for Russ coming out and spending time together. One year Russ came out and got out of his car and he just looked different. And I said, Russ, I said, man, everything okay? He said, no. He said, Jim, I had an affair. I said, what? I said, man, what's going on? He said, well, you know, me and my wife were on vacation. We got up one morning, we were in one of these little spats that husbands and wives get into, and all I did is I went out for a walk. I sat down at a park bench, and there was a lady that sat next to me, and we just started up a conversation. One thing led to another, we exchanged phone numbers. One thing led to another, we decided to get together. Folks, if it can happen to Russ, a godly father and husband, it can happen to you. Do not let the devil get a foothold. Do whatever it takes to protect yourselves from the devil's schemes. Guys, get in the word. Get involved in an accountability group. Have someone that you totally can be transparent with. Do whatever it takes to keep yourselves from temptation. Please. It can happen to anybody. Nobody's immune to the devil's schemes. So, in a nutshell, what am I trying to say? Let's wrap this up. Leading, loving, and loyalty is the recipe for long-lasting marriage and for responsible children that will carry these biblical truths to the next generation. Ephesians 5.33 tells us a man must love his wife and a wife must submit to her husband. Real quick, I was married by, and don't take this the wrong way, please, I don't mean it the way it sounds. I was married by a liberal woman, pastor. She had no idea what Ephesians 5 meant. I think she ripped it out of her Bible. I can so remember the words that she told Shelly and I. That, oh, it's a 50-50 relationship, and all you've got to do is learn to respect each other's individuality. Didn't talk at all about leading, didn't talk at all about anything. It was all just respect each other. Guys, that's garbage. That is absolute rubbish. What we have to do, men, we have to love our wives, and wives, we have to love our husbands 100% of the time. We don't give 50-50. We give a hundred percent toward this thing, or it's going to fail. Husbands, we are to love our wives to death. Wives, you are supposed to respect and submit to your husband. And raise your kids and children in a Christian home and teach them Christian values. That is what God didn't ask, that's what He commanded us to do. Dad, no one said it was going to be easy. But that's what the Lord demands of us, fathers and husbands. The only question, and what better day to ask of that on Father's Day? Are you going to accept the challenge? Let's pray. Father, we thank you for your word. Father, thank you for getting through this difficult passage, Lord, but it is your plan. It is your plan for a successful marriage. Father, it's your plan for a successful family. It's your plan, Father, for successfully raising children. Father, we are called to be accountable. We are called to a higher standard. Father, we are called as men, as fathers to die for the cause. And I thank you, Lord, that you've given us that responsibility. Now I pray, Father, you'd help us to carry it out. Lord, I love you and I thank you. Father, if anyone in this church struggling with that right now, I pray your spirit would just touch them. Any marriages struggling right now, Father, I pray you would heal that. Father, I pray that if there's any struggles in a marriage, that you would help them see clearly what your word dictates and tells us. Oh Lord, you're awesome and you are great. And I thank you in Jesus' name. Amen.