134. Three areas in life to take ownership of RIGHT AWAY!

Happy Tuesday Dream Hustlers!
In today's episode, I share three areas that I believe you MUST take ownership of in your life RIGHT AWAY. Once you listen to this you will no longer be able to blame anyone else or any other thing for why you aren't where you want to be. You must take ownership of your life, your energy, your decisions and your results... Listen up to learn more.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey everyone, welcome to the dream hustle podcast, this show that shares authentic and unfiltered advice on how to build and grow a successful dream business online. I'm your host Shana Recker. I'm a business and online entrepreneur and I love helping women bust through the fears and find the strategies to make their dream business come to life. My guest and I keep everything super real here for you guys with our stories and tips for success. So let's dig into today's episode. Hey everyone, welcome to this quick minute with Shayna. Happy Tuesday. Yesterday was a holiday in Canada. So this episode is coming at you on a Tuesday today. Uh, so today I wanted to chat with you guys about, uh, three places in your life where you need to take ownership. Like right now, like today, like, like as soon as you hear this, you need to own these three spaces in your life in order to create, uh, the life that you really want to live. Like, when I think about my journey into where I've been and how far I've come and, and where I am going, I know that all of the things that have come my way, all of the situations and things that have happened in my life, you know, good and bad have all come from me. You know, making the choices and the decisions in my life. Is that good or bad? It has nothing to do with anybody else. It has everything to do with me. And so it's about the decisions I've made, the thoughts that I've had, the things that I've chosen to do in my life that have brought me to where I am. And so I want to talk to you guys about that because it's so important when I think about, you know, moving forward in my life and the things that I want to create for myself and my family. You know, I have to be the one to take responsibility for those dreams. I have to be the one to take responsibility for. You know, making those things happen. It's, I can never, you can never ever, ever rely on anybody else to do those things for you. That doesn't mean there's not going to be people who are going to help you along the way. But in order for those things that you want to have in your life, the dreams, the desires that you have for them to happen, you have to start taking extreme ownership over those things right now. And it's funny because I actually have, there is a book out there called extreme ownership. If you haven't read it, add it to your list of things to, to read. It's one of my absolute favorite books. It is by M two us, Navy seals, Jocko Willink, Willink, and Leif Babin. And honestly, this book is amazing. It's really awesome on audible. Um, because they, the two gentlemen who wrote this book also narrated on audible and it's just, it's such an awesome book. And when you're done listening to this book, you'll understand what I mean by you have to take extreme ownership over your life in order for you to have the things that you want in order for your life to be created by you versus you just bumping along and letting life make things happen for you. And so I want to talk to you guys about that today. And so I've got three spaces or three where you need to start taking extreme ownership on your life right now. And the first place is taking extreme ownership on how you choose to feel every day and in every moment. And you guys, this is absolutely a choice. And I get it that there are situations where things happen in our lives that maybe not are not great and they make us sad or they make us mad or they make us, you know, happy or whatever. The things, the feelings that come up that happen from external sources. And we can have those reactions to things in our lives in a lot of times that's what we're doing. Um, but at the end of the day, once you've, you know, kind of gotten over the reaction space of it, we do have a choice on how we choose to let that situation affect us. Always, always. We always have a choice in how we, how we feel. And I know sometimes it's easier said than done to move from one space to another, one feeling place to another. But I will tell you that the way you feel, the way that you allow yourself to feel directly impacts the, the things that are, that the things that are going to happen to you in your life directly impacts the results you're going to see from the next minute to the next hour to the next day to the next week. So on and so forth. And so becoming aware of how you're feeling and how your energy is, and then making the choice to take ownership over that and changing it when you're not feeling like you're in a good place, makes all the difference in making your goals and dreams happen. And for instance, you know, when my husband and I were going through a really crappy time in our life, we were going through a really financial shitty financial time. And this was, um, you know, an interesting time because, uh, we were not expecting this and it's just sort of came on. I mean it was a slow, a slow we growing thing and when it finally sort of, you know, came out in full force, I remember waking up everyday and I was so angry and I was so kind of shameful and I would, you know, every time we'd get a phone call from a bank or from something or a letter would come in the mail or whatever. And I remember I'd be so angry about it and I would be so frustrated. I'd be snapping at the kids and I'd be snapping at him and I would be reacting to all of the things that were happening in that time in my life. And I remember the day sitting in the kitchen and I remember having this awareness. It was almost like something like kind of slot in the face and it was like, you know, Sheena, you freaking out over these things is not going to make it any better. It's not going to help the situation. And in fact you feeling negative and angry and bitter is actually going to attract more angry things, more more things for you to be angry and bitter about. Right. Because what we put out, we get back and I'm somebody who had, you know, read books on this and taught this and you know, done the trainings and stuff and helped other people with this stuff. But when it came to my own situation, I realized that I was making a choice to react and respond negatively versus taking ownership over this situation. Ownership over my feelings, realizing that as bad as it was, we weren't, we weren't going to die. We had our house or lots of things to be grateful for that we could figure it out and that we would work through the situation. And that day, that minute that I actually took ownership over. The way that I was feeling about the situation was the day that I actually, I can remember standing in that kitchen making that decision. And I feel like from that point forward, everything started to get better. And instead of me freaking out and reacting, I made the choice with the ownership over my feelings to think, okay, this is another thing. It's okay, we're going to move through it. We're going to get past it. We're going to figure it out, we're going to fix it. And, and it just, for me, that was that pivot point in that time in my life where I noticed that things started changing for the better. And so we really have to look at taking ownership on how we are feeling day in and day out. We can react all day long to different things that are coming towards us. And if we don't create that awareness and take ownership of how we feeling about those things, it can literally control our lives. It can control the situations and things that are happening. And I want to control those things. I want to choose how I'm going to feel. I don't want to just react because of something that's happening in a moment. I met, I might react to start, but then I've got to create that awareness and within myself to say, okay, this is the, you don't like feeling like this. You know, that feeling like this isn't going to bring you thing and bring, bring back anything good to you. So you need to just make the change and you can make the change by lots of different ways. You know, going for a walk and clearing your mind, listening to some fun music and getting yourself out of that space. Sometimes you just need to talk it out with somebody and just sort of like blob it out and then like move through it. Um, you know, there's lots of different ways and you know, everybody's gonna have their different timing to move through different, you know, situations depending on how extreme they are. Um, but just keep in mind that you do always have a choice in how you're choosing to feel and the energy that you're choosing to put out. Um, and, and you know, give yourself some space to have that time sort of sort through what might be going on, but then as best as you possibly can, try and change the way that you feel with whatever method works best for you. Um, so that's number one is absolutely changing or taking ownership over the way that you feel and the energy that you're putting out into the world because, um, it does make a difference on how things are going to come back to you and how you're setting up the next hour, day, week, month, year, so on and so forth. It's a lot of it is, you know, what we think about what we feel and we put out is what comes back. So taking ownership over that number two is you absolutely have to take ownership over your decisions. You know, when I look at my life and I look at the different things that, and the different opportunities that I've had and the different successes and things that have happened in my world, and even the failures too, let's be honest, there's been lots of those also. Um, it all comes down to decisions that I've made in my life. Things that I've chosen to do, situations that I've chosen to put myself in. And those decisions have ultimately led me in one direction or another. And so we have to take ownership over those decisions that we make because whether those things work out or not, those are our decisions. Those are the things that we have to own. And we can't, you know, if something, we, if we make a decision on something and we go and we make a choice and we do something and it doesn't work out, we can't blame other people for that stuff. That's a choice that we made in the minute we make that choice. We have to own it and keep moving forward with it. Right. So, you know, like for instance, I recently just did something kind of scary. Well, I did a couple of things scary in my life. And, um, one decision that I made recently was, um, to make, to, to make the choice to go on this trip to New York to spend that weekend with Korean and, and all these other entrepreneurs. And it was at a time, you guys, when financially I didn't necessarily have the money sitting there to do it. I didn't have, I had some of it, but not all of it. And it was kind of like, do I or don't I? And I just had to make the decision and I made the decision to go, I took ownership over that decision. I knew I was gonna figure out a way to make it back and do all the things. And you guys, you know what, that decision has totally led me to a whole another space in my business. I got to, you know, learn more about what my capabilities were. I got to, you know, figure out more things that, um, that I could do and offer my business. And it's literally changing the game for me as I speak. Like in this moment that you're listening to this my, my life, my business is actually taking a huge shift and you guys, it's because I made that decision that I was going to do something regardless of whether I could or thought I should or shouldn't. And it was scary and it was risky and there was all kinds of things involved. But I knew that, um, that, you know, if I were going to grow myself and I needed to be around the right people, that I had to make the decision to make this work and I would figure it out and I had to trust that I would figure it out. And I did. And I have, um, and so that's an example a on on a positive way. But there's lots of times where I've made decisions where things haven't worked out, where I've done things and it hasn't been super successful. And again, like I can't go and try and blame other people for that thing not working out. That's a decision that I made and I have to take ownership of that and I have to look at it and go, why maybe did that out, work out, what could I have changed? How could I have done things differently? Um, you know, maybe I needed to ask for more help to make that more successful or maybe I needed to, maybe that just wasn't the right timing for me to do this, you know, thing or that thing or the other thing, right? So really taking ownership over those decisions and don't sit in regret, especially if it doesn't work out. If you make a decision on something and it doesn't work out, you guys, there's a lesson in that for you. And if you sit in regret and shame and like, why did I do this? And you know, all those things, you guys, it's, you're just, you're just prolonging the pain, the pain, the agony, and you're not seeing the lesson. And so you have to take ownership over those decisions. You know, look at what happened, decide you know, what the lesson was for. You figure that out and then you need to make the decision to move forward and let it go and keep, keep going forward. You guys, life is a journey. There's always going to be good, bad and all kinds of things happening to us and everything in between. So you need to take ownership over your decisions, make the decisions quickly. That's another really, um, you know, thing to take ownership of is to make decisions quickly in your business quickly for yourself. Because if you sit in indecision, it actually, it's, it's indecision is actually, I feel like one of the worst places to sit because you're just, it's so uncomfortable and it's so awkward and it's so like agonizing. It makes you feel anxious and there's all the things that when it comes to indecision, make a decision, take ownership of it, step forward and make it happen. Um, and so, and you don't know, you don't know what the results are going to be. I recently made a decision to host a live event in my hometown. I decided that this was something that I've wanted to do. I've always wanted to bring women together. I've wanted to be inspirational. I've wanted to host an event. Ultimately, I'd love to host an awesome like full day live, um, you know, workshop event. And I thought this would be a great way to test the waters. And so I made the decision to do it. I booked the venue, I got the quotes, I created the tickets, and I'm putting myself out there and I, this is a decision that I've made and I'm taking ownership of it and I'm going to do whatever it takes in my power to make this an amazing event. And if it works out awesome, and if it doesn't work out or something doesn't go right or whatever, I'm going to take a look at that. I'm going to learn from it and I'm going to go on. But I'm not going to blame anybody else. I only have myself to, to, I can only control myself in my own actions. So I'm taking ownership over that decision and I'm going to make it happen. So where can you take extreme ownership, more extreme ownership over your decisions? Where are you sitting in indecision and where can you start being more decisive? You know, if you look at the book extreme ownership, he talks a lot about leaders making quick decisions and adjusting and moving and not sitting in a space of stalling. And that would be an indecision or sitting in regret or shame or any of that kind of stuff, right? So trust your intuition, trust your gut, make the quick decisions, start taking action, learn, repeat. It's going to be a constant process. And then the third place, which is kind of similar to what we just talked about, but I think it is worth repeating in this space, is you need to take extreme ownership over your results. And that's kind of what we just talked about in that same sort of thing is decision. Yes, you need to take ownership and make decisions quickly, but regardless of the outcome, you need to take ownership of the results you need to go. How could I have done that better? There are so many times you guys where I've launched something and I felt like I was doing everything that I could to launch it but in it and it failed and it didn't go well. And there I didn't get the response that I was looking for. And as much that, as much as I wanted to blame outside sources and you know, blame all kinds of factors for why that didn't work out for Y, you know, that launch failed at the end of the day. The results I got were, were based solely on me and my, my effort into it. And I could have done more. I could have, you know, shut up, showed up more. I could've done more lies. I could have done more webinars, I could have done more. And so the only person that is responsible for the results that I got is me. You know, and I always, I always take personal responsibility for the results that my business gets. And I, and I learned from it. You know, I, there's nothing like having a failed launch where things don't go well and you kind of look back at the process and you go, how could I have done this better? And then those, those holes, those gaps of how you could have done things better are like super obvious after the fact when you're in it, you feels like you're doing everything you can. It really does. You kind of feel like, well, I showed up on Instagram today and I did a story today and doing a webinar and you, you've got some things planned, but there's always spaces where you could have done more. And so taking extreme ownership over those results allows you to look back and see those holes. See where you could have possibly showed up more, where you possibly could have made some more connections. You know, maybe send some more DMZ, maybe you could have spend more time on LinkedIn, who knows? Right? But if you don't take ownership over those results and you sit in blame mode for your results, you're never going to see those holes. And then you're never going to be able to make the pivots and the adjustments for the next time that you do something the next time that you launch something. So take the time to take that ownership over the results. Good, bad or and different. Cause that's another spot that I feel that is sometimes really difficult is when you have something really awesome happen in your business. I know for me sometimes it's like something really good happens. I sometimes go, Oh well, you know, it's because this happened or that or whatever. I often, uh, you know, I don't often sit there and go, Oh hell yes, that happened. Of course that happened because, you know, like I'm amazing or anything like that. Like that's sometimes very hard to do it. Sometimes it's really hard to take, um, ownership over the results when they're good because we feel like we're, we're being boastful or we're bragging or it's, you know, and, and we need to take ownership over those things even when they're good because it's something to be proud of. It's something to celebrate. It's something to say like, Hey, I did this. And when you do those things, like when I do this event, be a little event that I'm hosting here in London, Ontario and November 4th, um, little plug for the event right there. Um, you can get your tickets, look in the show notes, there's a link in there for your tickets if you want to show up if you're in the London, Ontario area. But when I host this event, when it's amazing, when I like am done with everything, yes, I'm going to go do a poor post-mortem on it. I want to look and see how we can improve it for the next time. But one, it's amazing. We sell it out and we have an awesome event and the feedback's coming in, I need to say, Hey listen, I did that. I was able to create this space to put these amazing women together, to be inspired, to feel inspired, um, to, to, you know, re, you know, ignite conversation and connect people together. And I need to take ownership over the fact that I was able to do that. Because you know what that does, it helps to build your belief that you can do the next big thing. When I accomplish this and take ownership for the fact that I did it and I made it happen when it comes to planning that full day event or that weekend event or that whatever that next big thing is, I'm going to remember that, Hey, remember you did that and you, you can do this. You were scared to do that and then you did it and you had amazing results. So guess what? You know what you're doing. And so it builds that belief within yourself. And so you have to take ownership over your results, good or bad. They both count, they both matter. Um, so making sure that you're taking the time to do that as well. So three places where you really want to take ownership in your life. Starting right now is number one, you want to take ownership on your feelings. How do you feel on a day to day, minute to minute basis? Create that awareness. Know that you have the option to change how you feel and you what you're feeling energetically on an on a consistent basis is what you're attracting. So it's one thing to feel kind of crappy for a minute or two, that's fine, but get over it quickly. Change your vibe, get yourself back into a positive state. Move your body, get outside, do something fun. And the more we can be in a positive, energetic state, the more great positive, energetic things that are going to come back to us. So taking ownership over your feelings and how you feel in the choices that you're making cause it does, it does impact the results you're going to have, you know, in the future. Number two is making ownership over. Taking ownership over, making quick decisions in your life. Don't sit in and decision, it's going to kill you. It's like indecision is the space where anxiety is born. Um, it's, it breeds anxiety. So what is it that you want in your life? Knowing your goals? Is this thing that you're thinking about going to help you? Or is it not? Like what is your gut saying? Make the decision say yes, move forward. See what happens, you know, take ownership over your results, which is number three. But then you have that feedback, right? We can't figure out where we should be growing or what we should be doing if we're not doing things that are out of our comfort zone. Comfort zone and getting that feedback, making those decisions, doing the thing, getting the feedback, adjusting, pivoting, doing it again. So take ownership over making decisions. If you want something more in your life, you have to take ownership and do something different. You have to do more if you want more. So what does that look like for you? And make those decisions and keep moving forward. And then third, like I said, is taking ownership over your results. Positive or negative, right? They, they're both helpful for us. They're both feedback. So if you're having those negative results on something, what could you do differently? How could you shift it? What could you have done more of? How could you make it better next time? And the same with positive, take ownership over those positive results because that builds your belief. It helps you see that you can do it, that you can make it happen. Um, so I hope that you guys found this helpful today. I hope this is inspired. This inspires you to take bold action in your life to help make those things that you want in your life happen. You've got to make the decisions and move towards them. Then do the scary things. Take the risks because honestly, that's where the growth lives. So I hope you found this helpful today. If you are in the London, Ontario or surrounding area, and you would like to join us on November 4th at the be unstoppable event, it's at 7:00 PM Eastern standard time. Um, you can go onto my Instagram at Shayna record or you can go to the link in my bio and grab your tickets there. Um, we've got food, there's swag. It's going to be amazing women gathering together. We're hearing from an awesome entrepreneur. Her name is Sarah chancel from Sadie, and sorry. And I'll put her business link in the show notes as well, and you can hear her story about how she made bold decisions to become unstoppable and build her online clothing store. I'm sad and sorry, and I'm excited to share her story at this event. So if you can be there, grab a ticket, bring a friend, we're going to have fun. And, um, and if you found value in this episode, they guys know what to do. Either head over to iTunes, leave us a five star review. I so appreciate those. I read every single one and, or take a screenshot of this and tag it with one of your takeaways, um, type of takeaway and tag it and tag me and posting your Instastories homes. I'm always, always forever grateful for that. All right, everyone, I hope that you're having an amazing start to the week. We'll talk to you soon. Bye now.

Speaker 2: 23:19

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