Ep. 94 - Multigenerational Families

Do you have aging parents that might one day live with you?

Are you aging yourself and thinking about how to manage your future?

Show title: 

• Multigenerational Families

Why?

I am actively building the life of my dreams through consistent goal setting utilizing (7) categories:

• financial
• physical
• personal development
• family
• spiritual
• social
• career

Today we are talking family and tomorrow we'll be covering something in the spiritual realm.

If you like this / hate it - provide feedback to the show:

• Join the community:
  •  https://t.me/allaroundgrowth.   

Multigenerational Families

https://www.gu.org/explore-our-topics/multigenerational-households/

What is a Multigenerational Household?

The U.S. Census Bureau defines multigenerational families as those consisting of more than two generations living under the same roof. Many researchers also include households with a grandparent and at least one other generation.

https://www.moneycrashers.com/tips-multigenerational-families-living-parents-kids/

8 Tips for Multigenerational Families – Living With Parents When You Have Kids

Making Multigenerational Households Work

1. Set Boundaries
2. Find Some Privacy
3. Divvy Up the Chores and Costs
4. Connect as a Family
5. Pick Your Battles
6. Be Respectful
7. Set a Routine
8. Set Your Priorities

Final Word

Gratitude goes a long way in smoothing out any relationship wrinkles, and staying consistent and firm with your rules can lead to a better experience for everyone. Multigenerational households only work with a high degree of mutual respect, communication, and, above all, loving family ties.

Have you ever lived with your parents and kids at the same time?

If so give feedback

If you like this / hate it - provide feedback to the show:

• Join the community at https://t.me/allaroundgrowth

Hopefully this show was of value to you

• Follow this link to ALL EPISODES here  

If so, support the show on at bottom of show 

CLICK HERE TO RATE AND REVIEW THE PODCAST

Have a Question or any feedback for Rob?
 
 Send your questions to allaroundgrowth@gmail.com

Join the community:

• t.me/allaroundgrowth

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Or are you aging yourself and thinking about how to manage your future? Well, I get it. Living as a multi-generational family is the topic of today's show. This is episode number 94 of the All Around Growth Podcast. And this is a show where we focus on building the lives of our dreams. My name is Rob Kaiser, and I am your host. Today's Tuesday, February 9th, 2021. And yeah, that's right. Today's show topic is multi-generational families. And more specifically, my experiences with them and my thoughts on them based on a couple articles that I will share with you. So why this topic? Well, this topic is applicable because it falls into the uh category of family. Bear with me, I'm trying to get my coffee situated here. And family is one of the seven topics that we are utilizing as a structure for the podcast. Now, those seven categories I am utilizing in the setting of my goals, and those are financial, physical, personal development, family, spiritual, social, and career. Now, I covered physical and financial last week. Talked personal development yesterday. So here we are today, talking family, and we'll cover something within the spiritual realm tomorrow. So this is my request based on the change in the nature of the show. If you like what you hear, or if you want to provide some feedback on one of those seven categories, if you are interested in hearing my thoughts on whatever that is, or whatever the case may be, personal or not, just uh join the community over at Telegram. And you can find us there in your internet browser at t.me slash allaroundgrowth. Or if you have the Telegram Messenger app on your phone, search for the group name All Around Growth, and you will find us there. That's a great way to join the conversation, be a part of the growing community, and uh hopefully we'll see you there. So I found an article on multi-generational families, and I linked to it because it sort of looks like the standard government blase article that defines how the government defines multi-generational household. And um I think that this was just an appropriate um definition to share, and I'll leave it at that. So, what is a multi-generational household? Well, the U.S. Census Bureau defines multi-generational families as those consisting of more than two generations living under the same roof. Many researchers also include households with a grandparent and at least one other generation. Okay, so that is a good definition, in my humble opinion, of what a multi-generational household is, and just to provide some context as to what's going on here at uh York Meadow Farm where I reside, I live here with my parents. And we have a tenant farmer, two of them actually, at Kenro. Kenro is off site, sometimes pulls a camper here in the winter. I mean in the you know, spring and summertime, and then Cody Gray. And Cody um spends far more time out here, does four season farming, and has actually started contributing lately in some of the projects, um, which has been awesome. The help is really nice, and I think my dad enjoys it too. Uh it's you know, because Cody had mentioned that he doesn't have some of the experience that we do working with some of this stuff, and I think my dad likes the opportunity to teach, and I'm certainly grateful for the help. Um you know, Cody's a hard worker, and it's it's it's it's it's cool seeing somebody start to to groove with you that you've never really worked with before. And um, you know, it takes work when you're dealing with a multi-generational household, especially on a homestead. So one of the other articles that I linked to talked about that and you know, some of the work that it takes and provided some tips on multi-generational families, and the title of the article was 8 tips for multi-generational families living with parents when you have kids. Now, I don't have kids myself. Cody has a daughter, and Luna is you know, she's around um periodically, but more often than not, she's she's at home with with her mom. And um you know, and when Cody's not, I mean, like I said, he doesn't he doesn't live here, but he's he's here enough that it's almost like he's uh a part of the a part of the homestead family. So this article that I just referred to was titled, you know, eight tips for multi-generational families. Alright. And inside the article, like many of the articles that I have referenced recently and uh read, it's been kind of nice because these articles have had bullet points outlined within them, and the bullet points make for some really nice talking points. So here are eight bullet points or talking points that I thought I would reflect on with my own commentary as far as making multi-generational households work, and also having um actively participated in one for a few years now, sharing my own experiences. So, number one, set boundaries. I think that this is incredibly important, but also like Dave Ramsey's baby steps is outlined in Financial Peace University. Step number one is the most important and the most difficult and the easiest all at the same time. Now it's the most important because setting boundaries is critical to understanding what is and isn't appropriate, especially when in shared quarters with other people. Especially, especially when those people are your parents. Now as far as setting boundaries is concerned, I did an episode on this, and I've linked to all episodes in the show notes, but it was early on in the show, and we talked about boundaries, and I linked to a number of resources there. But there's a great book called Boundaries, and there's a number of books with boundaries in the title, but this particular book, oof, I wish it was coming to mind. Definitely check it out, check out the show notes, and I'll see if I can't link to it uh in the show notes as well. The episode on boundaries. Number two, find some privacy. Uh this is very important, and for me, it is relatively easy. Inside the pole barn on the property, we constructed an office for my business. And this has been a unique experience in its own right because it's forced me to re-evaluate what I'm doing for the business and why and how. So I'm going to limit it at that, but just say we were able to construct a separate space on the property that facilitates some privacy. It's you know, it would be nice if we had multi multi multiple residences on the property, but that's not allowed, so um, you know, according to zoning and such. So we make do with making uh certain spaces in what would be, you know, considered an unconventional living structure, very comfortable, not for living, but just simply for hanging out and occupying. So thinking outside of the box when it comes to certain things and all things in life, including but not limiting to finding your privacy, is important. Number three, divvy up the chores and costs. And I think a good way to do this involves a simple spreadsheet. If you want to break it down like that, or if you can have a discussion about what the costs are and what you you know everyone is able to contribute, somebody should be the one primarily managing the finances of the place where everyone resides, but uh it's important to share in the costs in the manner that's most appropriate to your specific context. Number four, connect as a family. And there's any number of ways that you can do that. Uh, for us, the primary way that we are all connecting as a family is through the figurative and literal construction of a small farm and homestead. This all started as a dream 15 years ago and began when my parents began to put some dreams to reality and plants in the ground and things of that nature, and started attending the local farmers market and creating and selling products. And uh that was I pause every time because there is a sheriff and um I don't know if it was the sheriff or the police that pulled me over for having a uh license plate light that was that was out. I I wasn't sighted, but you know, I was given a warning and I haven't done the square root of, you know, anything about it, but I digress. Um I still pause every time there's cops. Anyways, connect as a family. We are actively building a small farm and homestead. We are involved in the farmer's market, we are building a commercial kitchen together. There's a number of things that we're involved in. Um, my brother and sister and their respective families come over frequently. We have family dinners, and it's we we we are engaged in plenty of activities that allow us to connect as a family. And if you don't do those things, find the things that allow you to do so. Whether it's through family dinners or you know game nights, another great thing that you can do, which I've talked a lot about in the past, is the best self company has a deck called Deeper Talk, and they have questions in different categories that allow and facilitate uh you know communication about subjects that you likely wouldn't think of on your own. So that allows for connection as well with your family members. Number five, pick your battles. Uh, this is something that is very important to keep in mind, and I'm gonna have to hustle through these because I'm on the last leg of the commute here. So, you know, pick your battles, check your ego, um, understand what's important and urgent, act accordingly, and really take some time and pause about the the things that trouble you. Uh sleeping on things can make a world of difference. Number six, be respectful. This is something that I am working on tremendously this year. I, for whatever reason, have treated my parents with uh some disrespect and it and I feel shame in saying that here, but I own it. Uh I feel I feel bad about it, and that's that's that's all well and good. You know, we can feel bad about all kinds of things, but that doesn't mean shit unless you make a change. So, you know, feel bad, alright, you know, that's fine. But, you know, if you really feel bad, you'll do something about it. It's like my like my uncle taught me way back in the day. What you do speaks so loud, I can't hear what you say. Number seven, set a routine. I've talked extensively about this in the past, and it's helpful with other people for when they know your routine as well. And I think it just everything seems to jive well when there is a routine, and if there's not one, some communication about that, some non-violent communication. Check out that book, Marshall Rosenberg, I believe. Uh, good stuff, but routines can be helpful. And number eight, set your priorities. Simple as that, set your priorities. One final word that I will touch on as soon as I pull in here and get off the road about all of this. This this article, I wanted to grab the bullet points, and I certainly did. But uh I wanted to read the conclusion, and I did. And I'll read that to you now. Gratitude goes a long way in smoothing out any relationship wrinkles, and staying consistent and firm with your rules can lead to a better experience for everyone. Multi-generational households only work with a high degree of mutual respect, communication, and above all, loving family ties. Have you ever lived with your parents and kids at the same time? If so, join the talk at t.me slash whoa all around growth. Almost getting stuck here in the snow, guys. Coming in the back way. Alright. So, yeah, like I said, feedback on the new structure of the show, t.me slash all around growth. Join the communication and the dialogue there with all of us. As previously stated, there's a link to all episodes in the show notes. And if you like what you hear, go to the show notes as well. Scroll to the very bottom. You'll see a link in all caps. Rate and review the podcast. That'll take you to Apple Podcasts where you can rate and review the show. Please give it a five-star rating at this point in time. That is the podcast uh player that generates the most plays, and therefore the algorithms are most effective with our influence on that platform at this juncture. Uh, you can also leave a written review if you feel so inclined, that would be great. Last but not least, join the community all around growth. And uh