Dr. Tim Thayne discusses the relationship between peace, service, and gratitude. He shares how his neighborhood had adopted the spirit of Christmas by reaching out in service to one another. When looking outside of yourself at something bigger you will ultimately feel more peace internally, even while many things out of your control.
Dr. Tim Thayne discusses the relationship between peace, service, and gratitude. He shares how his neighborhood had adopted the spirit of Christmas by reaching out in service to one another. When looking outside of yourself at something bigger you will ultimately feel more peace internally, even while many things out of your control.
Hi everybody, this is Tim Thayne with the not by chance podcast. Thank you for joining me today. Today is actually not Christmas Eve, this is going to be published on Christmas Eve, the 24th of December, a day of the year that many, many people around the world really try to capture the spirit of the season where they, they are trying to really look beyond themselves and, and think of other people, and try and develop charity for other people. And so I wanted to talk today a little bit about the season and what a contrast it is, or can be, to maybe our, our normal life right now, when we're really in the midst of a lot of darkness, honestly, and a lot of uncertainty and turmoil. Because we could focus a whole lot on things that are completely outside our circle of influence or control. For example, we can't determine when we can go back out and freely associated with other people because of COVID, that's completely out of our control. And we could spend our time focused on that and, and feeling the the anxiety related to that. We also can't really fix what's going on with the elections right now, the uncertainty around that, that's outside our control. So I could list lots of things right now, and everybody could because everybody's life is a little bit up in the air, if not a lot. And and so that has a way of destroying peace, the very thing that this season of the year is supposed to bring, which is peace. And whether you're Christian or not, the the outcomes that I think this season was was created for his having us look to a higher power, having us focus on gifts and giving, and service to other people. Those are all incredible values, that that can have a big impact in us in our lives personally, and obviously, in our families if we can, if we can capture the essence of that. And so I've actually had a little bit of an experiment this last week or so having these contrasting experiences, you know, on the one hand focusing on those things I can't control. And then having the experience almost almost forced upon me because I had some obligations I needed to, to attend to. That caused me to have to think of others and get away from the things that that I've been immersed in lately. And what a difference it has made in my life. The difference between having peace in your life and not having peace in your life is as great as being sick one day and having that sickness taken away from you. It is dramatic. And we all know it, don't we when we feel it or when we don't feel it. This is all added to by the way, the the I think previous epidemic that was going on long before COVID Hit in the mental health space where we've just had a huge amount of the people that we're working with really suffering from extreme anxiety. And so anxiety of not being able to control things we're worried about all kinds of, of variables outside one's control. That that actually creates isolation for people to the point where they, they may not feel comfortable leaving their home. And so all of that was happening, you know, with a lot of the clients and people we're working with, that's probably the number one diagnosis that that we were seeing long before COVID hit and then now this has been on top of it. So all of that wrapped up in even more uncertainty of the world around. So no wonder we've seen mental health crises go through the roof during this time. How much more do we need experiences like what's happened to me in the last week or so for this world right now. And what's happened to me in the last week or so is really, like I said a responsibility and an obligation and in a role that I play to be a part of thinking about the larger group of people around us in our neighborhood. And, and, you know, what came out of the discussions we had as a group of how do we, how do we go outside ourselves, reach out show love and appreciation that serve other people? How can we give good gifts to our neighbors, some of the things that started to happen. One example was we as a group decided, as a church and neighborhood to adopt three families sub for Santa. And that's a long standing tradition for a lot of people. And we decided to do that. And so we asked the neighbors, you know, if they would donate, and we were able to help out these three families and, and what was even better about that, as we had the, the young people, the adolescents in our in our neighborhood, do the do all the shopping and the delivering the gifts and then had them come back and report to us all what that was like, a really sweet letter was written by one of the mothers that almost bring tears to your eyes reading it, they were in huge need. And she said she felt loved and accepted for the first time there new new family, in the neighborhood or in the area that that just hadn't found any, any friends yet. And so that got us outside ourselves, and was just a wonderful feeling. Another thing that happened is that all of the, the We live near an area, that's a neighborhood that's got a lot of senior citizens in it, you know, 65 and older. And in, and many of those families, some of them were widows. So they had lost their spouses and, and we're all alone and during COVID Imagine being in that situation and being locked up or, or pretty much isolated to all those months, mostly by yourself. So they were adopted by folks in the neighborhood, and they're doing the 12 days of Christmas for them. And it's just so fun to see them secretly sneaking out and giving gifts on the porch and, and it's all culminating. I think that the night before Christmas, there will be something really sweet in case this podcast comes out early. And some of those people hear this, I don't want to tell you what it is. But a really, really neat gift at the end that we all hope that will help create a feeling of love. And what's happening those there's this feeling of love permeating our relationships inside our neighborhood and our church. And it is such a sweet contrast to the lack of peace that I've been feeling lately. So that's an antidote service is an antidote to the lack of peace. And it's been said that the when we want to heal our body, we might focus inward and try and you know, feel feel that our body and figure out what it needs and give it what it needs. But when we want to heal our soul, we need to look outward. And I guess that's exactly what I'm talking about and feeling right now. So that's the antidote. Another interesting thing that has to do with thinking outwardly that has a way of creating a feeling of joy and peace in our life is when we feel gratitude. When we really look at our life and not just focus on the, the maybe lakhs in our life for the things we don't have, or maybe even the the dark things in our life, the dark times in our life. Or maybe even the the diagnosis we have, you know, in the mental health space, sometimes we'll get locked into, hey, I've got depression, I you know, I'm starting to see everything through that lens, or I've got these challenges. That's the way I look at the world. Gratitude has a way of literally expanding our view, way beyond those things to now allow us to focus on things that we would normally miss if we weren't trying to be grateful or looking for things that that are bringing joy to our life and making our life better. And, and so that goes right along with peace, you know, peace and gratitude. And I would throw out there Now faith is another. You know, every time I talk about some of these principles, I realize they're all intricately connected. You can't have you can't really have faith for example, without also feeling an increase in gratitude. And you can't really feel an increase in gratitude, without feeling more peace and joy. So all these things kind of come together. And for me, it is centered ultimately on a belief in a supreme being, that there is a God. For others, it's maybe a higher power, or the universe or whatever it is beyond ourselves, that this faith, this hope, this peace, can all be generated beyond just the tricks that we might do to create peace in our life. Now, there's a place for the tricks, by the way, or the psychological, you know, processes we might go through or the, you know, techniques we might use to get to peace. For example, if I'm living in a chaotic environment, that's going to create that's gonna disturb my peace, right? It's definitely gonna disturb Roxanne's peace, she's much more. She needs cleanliness, maybe more than I do. But, and so the antidote to that is clean up the place, right? tidy it up. If I'm overwhelmed with too much going on, organizing my calendar might be the answer, or even saying no, and putting limits on things and not taking more on would be a great way to help me feel less anxious and feel more at peace. So those things have their place. But I'm, I guess, today, because it's the day before Christmas, I am asking you to, to go beyond the techniques and go to something deeper, bigger, more powerful. That doesn't require just you been able to manipulate your environment or develop a skill on your own, because some of the things we're dealing with in this world right now are outside our control. So we need something more powerful than that. And like I said, for me, that really is a belief that there is a supreme being that loves us, that wants good things that wants to help us grow, he's not going to take away, you know, this, you know, this power is not going to take away the trials and challenges we face. Because, in my mind, it's all part of the plan that we grow through the process, because in doing so, we can have greater joy. And so that's a good thing. But ultimately, having these, these, this kind of faith has helped me and has helped millions and millions of other people, whether it's religiously based or spiritually based, or anything else. It has helped them in their mental health. hop on hop online, by the way, and just do a little search of research on faith and mental health. And you'll notice that there are tons of research studies done that shows that it helps people with their depression with their anxiety with, you know, their relationships, maybe because it's trying to teach true principles like serving your neighbor. I know for me, when I immerse myself in, in, let's say, reading good books, or principles of studying principles, or scriptures or anything that's going to lift my, my mind to try and try and adopt some characteristics that are, they're much higher than the ones I have right now. I'll tell you that Roxanne loves it, she loves it when I do that, because she knows that I'm going to be a happier, healthier, kinder, better person, at least for a day. And that's what probably why she wants me to do that every day. So well, I'm far from being able to keep peace. By the way, in my life, I'm nowhere near being able to do that on a on a constant basis. But I do know the difference of when I feel it, and when I don't. And I can tell you these these things are true, they're true principles. They're what I wish for you is that you will feel peace, peace during this time and that it will last no matter how long COVID lasts, that that you can find peace without that being resolved. And that you can also find gratitude in that hole in that ability to live day to day and make choices and and find good things in life. And that's my wish for you. That's those are the things that's been on my heart and my mind this past little while as I've seen this contrast and hope that you're finding that as well during this time of year. Thanks For listening if you liked this podcast and want to make sure you're notified when a new one comes out make sure you subscribe and Merry Christmas