Hi Pod! I'm Dad.
James Guttman, the dad behind "Hi Blog! I'm Dad", on raising a non-verbal teenager with Autism and a neurotypical teenage daughter. A show dedicated to positive special needs parenting and centered around his journey from Autism Awareness to Autism Acceptance to Autism Appreciation.
Hi Pod! I'm Dad.
No Words Needed: Podcasting With My Non-Verbal Son
This week’s co-host doesn’t say a word, but his presence says everything.
James sits down with his son Lucas, a non-verbal teenager with autism, for a special episode. With the help of Pirate Booty, duck noises, and an AAC device, Lucas shows listeners what communication looks like when it’s completely authentic. Whether it’s asking for water or no-selling a dad joke, nothing Lucas does is performative and that honesty has become one of James’s greatest parenting lessons.
You’ll hear about real moments: a silly game that’s only funny when Lucas says it is, how years of practice lead to a single successful request on a talker, and the deep frustration of strangers assuming they know your child better than you do. This is more than a podcast episode, it’s a window into trust, growth, and fatherhood that doesn't need subtitles.
See The Show Here on YouTube: https://youtu.be/jcTwR72r_k4
Subscribe: https://youtube.com/@hiblogimdad
It's Here! Get the book – “Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation” on audio, digital, or print.
Follow Us On Facebook and YouTube. Follow James Guttman on Instagram.
Also, be sure to read the blog that started it all - Hi Blog! I'm Dad.
Hi Pod, I am Dad. He's not just Hi Dad, he's my dad, james Gutman. Folks James Gutman here on Hi Pod pot. I'm dad and I'm joined by my co-host, lucas, who was in the background, bored and somewhat annoyed. But he's here, and he's here for one reason and one reason only, and it's bribery. I don't think anybody who has a boy like mine, lucas, is non-verbal, he has autism, so a lot of times, as he knows, we don't really we don't bargain.
Speaker 1:He's kind of easy to deal with and I know that Pirate Booty kind of does the trick. And it's funny because one of the things I'm thinking about, I'm putting this thing together. Right, I want to have my buddy here, I want him to be here. He does these little guest appearances once in a while where he pops up and he'll show up for the podcast. But I'm like you know what, I really want my guy to be a part of this, you know. So I bring out the snacks, I bring out the pirate booty, I bring out all this stuff, and then I think to myself I'm not really supposed to do that, right, because what ends up happening is there's so many times and he knows right Trying to get him off the school bus sometimes is a little difficult to deal with, and you don't always want to make it about pirate booty. You don't always want to make it about a snack to give him, because you know you expand right. How are you doing, buddy? Is that good? Yeah, see, totally. And I will say this One of the reasons why I did it here today is that I know that this doesn't interest him.
Speaker 1:People have asked me about Lucas and whether you know the podcast and advocacy and things like that. Lucas is cool in that he likes what he likes, and that's one of the things that I love about having a boy like him. I've learned about autism appreciation. I've learned about the way he kind of sees the world in terms of what he wants, things he wants to do, things that he likes. Like Lucas loves Pirate Brody, Lucas loves me and that's kind of the most important thing and it's funny, one of the other reasons I wanted to have him here this week too.
Speaker 1:And before anything, guys, if you're seeing me on YouTube, you can see it. If not, you're listening to it. This might be a confusing episode, so I apologize, but do yourself a favor, go to YouTube. The channel is at HighBlogI'mDad. You can watch all of the archives of all of these shows and kind of see how we interact, the things that we talk about. But, as you know, we also write the blog and every Monday and every Wednesday I write about Raising Lucas. I wrote this week about autism, siblings and my daughter and how she interacts with my son as well. But I wrote about something on Monday that was one of those things that made me glad we have the podcast.
Speaker 1:We're going to show them, right, buddy? It was the whole idea of the duck noise. At one point early on, when Lucas was little, I learned that he really thought this one thing was funny, and I'm going to show you what it is. And here's the thing, here's the beauty of it. It's either going to be great You're either going to be like that was so cute oh my God loved it or you're going to be like that dude looks ridiculous, because you never really know if he's going to sell it.
Speaker 1:Now I'm just quickly explain what sell means. It's a wrestling term. It means that if you get ignored, sell means it's a wrestling term. It means that if you get ignored, you're being no-sold, like they're not selling it. Selling is kind of selling with a reaction and um, are you getting stuff over? So we're gonna try it, we're gonna see. This is exactly what happened.
Speaker 1:I made a duck noise and then I pretended to look for a duck and he thought it was funny. Sit, buddy, sit, sit. Do you want more Sit? Do you want more Sit? Hang on, I got everything man I loaded up. He hasn't had lunch, so don't judge me. He hasn't had lunch yet.
Speaker 1:So here's what we did we're going to show them a duck. Did you hear the duck? Hey, listen, do you hear it? Ah, duck, is there a duck? Okay, great, and there you go. That's that's what happens, dude.
Speaker 1:Sometimes he loves it, sometimes it's his favorite thing, and there's no worse than being like this is my son's favorite thing, he loves this thing. You gotta see what he does. And then, uh, he's just not into it. But one of the things about about having a boy like mine that I love is that kind of he does things on his own terms. There's, no, there's nothing fake about my son. My son is purely Lucas. He doesn't even this right. So I did this duck joke with him, where I made the noise and he jumps and we laugh and we love it and he knows that I love it. But at no point is he ever like I'm going to fake it just to make this guy happy, which some people do, and then they'll turn around to you a month later and be like I never even liked the duck noise. I did that for you. He doesn't do that. There's none of that. If Lucas laughs, it's because Lucas wants to laugh, right, buddy? If Lucas gives me a kiss, it's because he wants to give me a kiss.
Speaker 1:Hey, show everybody. I'm going to show you guys this too. This is something I've talked about. I've been doing it since he was an infant and we're going to show you right now the one thing. Let's show them the one thing.
Speaker 1:Remember, when he was little and he was an infant and I was changing him, the one thing I taught him. I took his hand and I would ask him one question and I would make him tap himself and to this day, he Tell them who does daddy love? Who does daddy love? Yes, I do See, and that's all I need. What do you want Tell me? Use your device, you want to tell me something? Of course we have the talker here, so we get a lot of gestures and stuff.
Speaker 1:You want a cookie? You ate the cookie. You want more cookie? Just wait, I'll give you cookies after. You want crackers? You want crackers? What is it? Do you know what it is? I don't think I've ever asked about crackers. No, no, but this is a cracker. Do you know a cracker? What you got? Crackers. And close, let's say it's not a muffin. I'm gonna show you, bud. I always try to do this too, like when we, when I show him new stuff that we don't usually eat or do things with, I like to show him how it works. I like to show him what the word is buddy, here. This is what he wants. Scroll down what's so far here, and this is cracker. You want a Cracker? Cracker. You want a cracker? I'll hook you up with a cracker. So that's another thing too. And it's Before anything.
Speaker 1:Forgive me for the show being a little disjointed this week. I didn't tell you to like and subscribe. I didn't tell you about the book Hi World, I'm Dad. I didn't tell you about. I did tell you about the blog, but barely this week.
Speaker 1:One of the things I really wanted to do is I wanted to give you guys a real view of who he is and what we do and how we interact. And I think one of the things you can see because it's a question that I get a lot is like how do you guys talk, how do you guys communicate? Does he have a device? And he does, he has a device, but it's almost secondary, like we use it when we use it. I try to remember it.
Speaker 1:I've talked to a lot of parents in the same kind of situation. I go does he have a device? And they're like, yeah, but like you know, when we remember and it's something that you know, you beat yourself up about, I think most parents who have any kids, there's things that you should be doing for your kids that you think about and you're like well, I haven't done him up for this sport or I didn't, you know, contact his teacher about whatever. And when it comes to Lucas and kids who are nonverbal, a lot of times and a lot of the parents I talk to, it's about not really using the device.
Speaker 1:I'm pouring water, by the way, in case you're listening to this on Spotify and you think I'm peeing. I'm not, and I want him to be able to use this device. I want it to be second to use this device. I want it to be second nature with this. You want some water? Want a drink? Ask, ask for a drink. You want this. How do you ask for this? What would you say? Water, show me water. Thanks food, eating utensils no, there you go. Thanks food, drink this Water. Good job, buddy See. Drink this water. Good job, buddy see. And that's what I think is the beauty of when he does stuff like that. I get to high five.
Speaker 1:It's a major thing around here and I get excited and I think there was a time where really I didn't think he'd ever be able to ask me for anything. A lot of the stuff with him was guessing. We used to guess all the time. So even now, although we we don't really do this all that much, it's not a lot of using the device. The device itself is such a major, major change for a lot of stuff and it gives me kind of that hope down the line that when I'm not here anymore, he'll be able to talk to people, he'll be able to share what he wants. He'll be heard. Right, that's what you want. I want people to hear him, I want people to know him and I want people to understand him and I don't know if you could hear it. It's getting picked up on this. This is one of my favorite things he does. You want the iPad? Hey, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask for it here, ask Even this, even getting his fun YouTube iPad. We use the device. We ask for it. Go ahead, ask what do you want Things? Toys you got it. What toy? What is this iPad? That's for the iPad Bam. Oh, let me turn it on for you. Hold on, I'm going to give him this and then we'll go back to our regularly scheduled program.
Speaker 1:I like him being able to ask me for things. I like the fact that he feels comfortable. I like the fact that we're able to communicate with each other. Is it perfect? No, does he understand everything? No, have I had people try to convince me otherwise? Yeah, I've had people arrogantly. I'm going to be honest with you, man. It's arrogant. If you come to somebody who has a kid who's nonverbal and you lecture them about what your kid knows and what he doesn't know, that's arrogance.
Speaker 1:I know what my son knows, surprisingly. I mean, look, don't get me wrong, there's things. Every once in a while he'll pop out and he'll have something that he knows and it'll surprise me. I'll be like oh, I didn't know that Lucas doesn't know that Lucas can't spell, lucas can't necessarily count, but Lucas knows me, he knows what he wants, he knows certain things and I don't know. It's important, and that's one of the things that kind of annoys me sometimes as a parent to a nonverbal child, is the amount of times people try to tell me what he knows or they try to tell me like and I'll write about this eventually I kind of held off on it but I'm going to I was at an event once where they were trying to sell me on a program for kids who are nonverbal, a program I didn't necessarily believe in, one that involved him like being able to spell and being able to know things, and I tried to explain to the saleswoman, or whatever the hell she was trying to tell me, that he can do it.
Speaker 1:She's like, oh, he should do this and I go. He doesn't really know how to spell, that I know. And she looks at me and she goes he knows so much more than you think he does. This woman didn't know my son, and when I say didn't know my son, I mean she had been around us for 30 seconds when she looked at me and said that she didn't know who I was. I could have been a doctor. I could have been a blogger I don't know if that's not a big deal. I could have been anything. She had no idea. I would never, as a writer about autism, even autism appreciation I would never be so bold as to lecture anybody about what their kid can and can't do, because you want to know what. All kids are different, whether they're on the spectrum or whether they're not, and you have no right to tell anybody else what their kids can do. They know or they don't, but if they don't, that's up to them to figure out. You don't tell them that. So that's why it's important for me today to kind of show you guys a little bit. I write about him. I know people have questions. Sometimes it's easier just to kind of see how it goes down. But this is my guy and on top of it, a little inside baseball. Take you guys behind the scenes.
Speaker 1:I've been kind of fretting about doing this podcast, this particular episode, for a while. I've been trying to set it up. I've been trying to get things together, set it up how he's going to sit, where we're going to be, what set it up, how he's going to sit, where we're going to be, what we're going to do. The food was a last minute kind of idea where I'm like I'm not going to feed him lunch, I'll just bring, I'll bring snacks in for him, like that.
Speaker 1:I didn't want him to be on his device the whole time because, as you can see a lot of his pictures, he's on his ipad, he's on his device and, um, as a parent, you know, especially to a young child, you tell yourself my kid's not going to be on the iPad all day, screen time, he's only going to have three hours of screen time. And then life comes along and you have a kid who's nonverbal, with autism, and the one thing he loves. The one thing he loves is that device. Once in a while I pick up one of his board books or a doll, like he has a scout, you know, doll dog that talks to him. He likes that dog that talks to him, he likes that. But for the most part, the iPad or that's the fire tablet, whatever the tablet is, is number one with a bullet and everything else is just like massively, massively. In second, third, fourth place, first place is that device. So I don't like to take it away from him, I don't like to not let him have it, but I also didn't want him to be on it the entire time we were doing this. So, you know, as his dad, I got to figure out what do I set up? And I've written about that too, about packing bags everywhere we go and making sure we have snacks, making sure we have, you know, a change of clothes, because I always joke that he can make crumbs out of water.
Speaker 1:He could be drinking a glass of water. I go, where'd you make crumbs from? He's able to uh, to get it all over himself. He comes home from school and he's just covered in I don't know lunch. I don't know what the hell it is, but yeah, so I, uh, I want him to eat, I want him to be around us, but I also don't want to make that kind of the crutch that we do. I wanted to uh to showcase him, but that's the reason why I had the food here today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I apologize If this episode is a little off. I apologize. This is a big kind of leap of faith. I'm really glad that I came together. Well, I'm glad that you could see my son. I'm glad that I could share him with you more.
Speaker 1:I'm glad that you guys allow me kind of to post more videos. If you get a chance, go to TikTok, right? I don't? I never thought I'd say this. I never thought I'd say this because I don't do TikTok. I'm not like I don't do that and I thought that's what TikTok was for the longest time. I'm like TikTok is just dancing in front of like a Starbucks order I don't know what the hell it was. So I've been posting videos of Lucas on TikTok and it's been doing really well. Where people are liking it, whether it's a, you know, a montage, whether it's a kind of a trailer for this podcast, or the one that's doing really well is just him simply asking for a cookie with this device, because it's a big deal. I don't think enough people see it and it's kind of the norm in our house and I think sometimes we forget that, that it's not the norm for everybody.
Speaker 1:So thank you for letting me share that, thank you for letting me share this episode and thank you for taking the time to listen. Do me a favor. Wherever you found me, like subscribe, hit a bell. Whatever you got to do. I'm on Spotify, audible everywhere. Hipod, I'm dadcom every single Friday, as well as YouTube. At HiBlog I'm dad that's our channel every single Friday, the episode is posted with a video. We got you know. Hi blog, I'm dadcom, monday, wednesday. Social media Hi, james Gutman. It's everywhere, folks, everywhere. Thank you so much for taking the time. Until next week, james Gutman, saying be well. Oh, for Lucas as well, saying be well, bye, pot, I'm dad, we'll see you next time.