Ep 91 STOP wasting your life. How to know when it’s time to ...

Tue, 8/16 12:29PM • 29:05

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

life, spend, fucking, enjoying, lit, people, happen, feel, paul, potentials, thinking, urgency, moment, italian, italy, relationship, fears, bit, ride, record

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Bon Jovi. Welcome Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to Italy and welcome to another episode, I'm fucking lit up at the moment so much so that Paul actually left the apartment and was like you need to start recording, either because he was sick of me being hyperactive and excitable, or he actually could see that this was lighting me up and I needed to hit record. Sidenote, Italy, oh my god, I have thought for my whole life. I'm like, I swear to God, I'm walk I have to be Italian in another lifetime, or maybe my heritage. So I actually don't know quite a bit of a big chunk of my heritage, which is so interesting, because my Nana was orphaned. She was an orphan from World War Two. And we could never actually figure out like, what our roots were. But if I don't know, I've always said to my dad, like, mate, there's no way that we don't have some sort of data. No, Greek or Italian in us, I just resonate so hard. And you know, I mean, the lashes and all the hair that comes with it. I'm just like, we have to be we have to be, and now being in Italy, and it's just like, everybody is so emphatic and larger than life. And there's so much like energy, and people are really talking to you with their hands and their face in their eyes. And I'm just so happy to be in Italy. But yes, I am extremely excited today extremely excited at the moment, because all right, well, let me set the scene actually, let me talk about why I needed to hit record right now. And let me talk about what came through and what inspired me to just start recording right now in the middle of the heat. And I'm sorry, if the sound is shit, I've got a fan blowing in my face, because it's so hot, and I'm up in like full story or something. And it's just really hot. So the fans blowing in my face. But I had to hit record and we've got about an hour until we go to Venice, we're going to go to Venice, and then we're going to ride our asses all the way to Milan. And then we're going to Greece. So I've got about an hour to pack up the house to record this podcast to get myself to Venice. And I had to do it, I had to do it. Because here's what's happened. I spent the last couple days really reading through every single level up your life scholarship. Oh, and by the way, it's open today. Yeah, so exciting. It's open today. So all of the link, all of the information is in the show notes. I'm fucking beyond pumped like this round, I feel such a fire in my belly, obviously having so much time to think and to create space for new ideas and creativity into. I'm just so excited to get back into it to teach to level up with everybody. I've got my own big goals, like I'm so excited for this round. And it's got to finish right at the end of the year. So I'm like, let's finish 2022 strong. Let's finish 2022 being like, yes, this was the year that we made it all happen. This was the year that we made it all change. I'm so excited for that. So the doors are open today. But how this episode actually came about was that I was reading the scholarship applications and it's put a fire in my ass. And I think that this episode may even put a fire in your ass. And the reason it did is because I was reading through them. And honestly, like, my heart was like breaking and I wanted to reach through the computer screen. And like grab everyone who wrote it and like shake you I want to shake you and I want to say like of course you can fucking do it like that. There is so much doubt and there is so much fear and there is so much like, what if it doesn't happen and I'm not where I want to be I'm not actually enjoying life. I hate my job deep down. I know that I'm not in the relationship I should be in deep down. I know I'm destined for more deep down I've got this dream that I can't stop thinking about but this but this but that, but what is this, but what is that? And this is my episode to you guys, to anyone listening who is in that space where you just know there's more for you. You know it, you know it? This is for you because and I've been thinking about this so much so much in the last ever. But really it hit home for us for Paul and I and I want to sort of go through I want to go through some of the things that kind of led to this new fire in my belly. So I think I've mentioned it on the podcast. I've mentioned it before, but we got some pretty shit news. Some very shit is like a spade a spade. I can't positive mindset my way out of it. It's just fucking terrible. It's one of Paul's best friends has cancer and it's not good. It's really not good. And he's young and he has two little kids and

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the conversations and the tears and the the shock that has gone come with that and in our household and you know, just the conversations that Paul and I have been Having, we were like, you just don't know, like you just don't know, this friend was completely fine. One moment literally fine. Actually, I think he was he was mowing his lawn, he was out mowing his lawn normal day day off. And then was in a lot of pain, a lot of pain, just like, had to call an ambulance. And then that night was told that like, yeah, you have cancer and lalala. And we were just talking about the shock and how everything can change in an instant, like, anything can change in a moment. And you don't know how long you're gonna get, and you don't know how long your life is, and you don't know how long your loved ones lives and you don't know you, we all think that we're gonna live forever. And hopefully, we will hopefully, we will get a long prosperous, amazing, beautiful, expansive, life full of experiences big, little, small, high, low, hopefully, we get to suck the life out of every second we've got, but we don't know that that's true. We just don't know. And so we've been thinking and talking about that so much in the last few months, and really thinking like, Okay, how would we live through the lens of of him? How will we let like, let's live through the lens of him. And that's changed everything for us. Because, like, we're living as if we don't know when we're gonna get, you know, when it's all over. And the truth is, when we get into this world, the only thing that's true is that we're all going to leave as well, we're going to leave. And so we've been talking about that, and it's actually been, it's, it's breathe, it's it's like it's breathed, breathed, it breathed life into our life, it gave us that fresh kick, that like, you only get one shot. It's not a dress rehearsal. And let's just really make sure that we're spending our time in a way that's going to be a life worth live, like a life worth living and a life that we're like, that was a great time on this earth. So there's that. And obviously, that's been in our mind, and we've been riding and cycling and meeting all of these amazing people having the absolute time of our life like doing something that we always said. Or if we won the lotto, we'd you know, we'd backpack around the world. And if, if and when, if and when. And then we checked ourselves. And I was like, no, no, no, no. This is what I teach people. There's no if and when there's, we're making it happen. We're actually making it happen. Because if there's no if and when, if we want to travel around the world on bikes, we're going to do it. And so we booked the trip, and within a couple of months, here we are, because I had to take a little bit of my own advice, bit of my own medicine, so to speak. And so we've been riding around and there was another day on the path, there was one day that shook me to my core, and I actually needed a few hours just to be like to be in my head and to get myself out of it and to ground myself, and to come back to a good place. And so what happened one day on this path was that and it was actually one of the best writing days we've had like, I can not articulate how fucking beautiful it was. I was like crying. I was on a high. I had music pumping in my ears. We were going in and out of this like green luscious Valley in Germany, travellers and cyclists. It was like a real popular part of the park. So like, off the path, sorry, it's a real popular path. And so all the people were coming it was a weekend, it was a Sunday so you could tell people were just out on like, their weekend ride. There was like bars kind of scattered throughout this valley of mountains. And it was like winding paths a little bit challenging, but lots of downhill. So lots of like, high vibe adrenaline, I was having the time of my life and we stopped for I'm not gonna lie, I stopped and had an Aperol Spritz, it was definitely not the time of day to be having an Aperol Spritz. But it just I you know, I was just like, oh, life is so and Paul was like, Are you do you boo is that there and had a coffee and probably judged me.

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And so then we kept writing and I was just like buzzing, buzzing, coming around this corner and came around this corner and I was just like FARC hit the brakes. And I went from high to guts falling out of my bumhole like, in one second flat. Because I could see there'd been an accident right down like below me around the corner. And there was a helicopter flown in. Somebody was getting put on a stretcher and there was a bike as we came closer like we had to get closer. And like I was just praying in that moment I was like please let whoever Let there be peace like there be safety like please no blood, please. No, like, just please god no help this person, whatever. And I could see like an older man like the partner of this woman who it turned out to be was just like pacing. And there was blood sort of around her bike, which was kind of in the bush like, it was horrible. It was fucking horrible. And it rattled me and look, she was okay, like we could see that she'd probably broken something on her leg. Paul saw that I couldn't look and it actually makes me feel kind of yucky to talk about now. Because it fucking freaked me out. Like it just freaked me out. When and I was thinking how was that day for them? They were probably in the same situation as us. Everything was fine. looking perfect, beautiful, amazing. And then bang, you don't know, like, you don't know what's going to happen. You don't know, like, everything changed for them in an instant. And that's what can happen. And for the whole ride the next hour or so I couldn't enjoy it because I was like, oh my god, like, how quickly things can change and how beautiful that reminder is that like, when things are good, we need to enjoy it. And when things are not good, it's all gonna pass like everything's gonna pass. And it's all there for a greater purpose. But things can change in an instant. And we don't know how long we're going to get. We don't know how long we're going to have good health. We don't know how long you know, all of these things. And it really made me think, and this is something that I truly, truly, truly believe to my core. How we spend our time is how we spend our life. How we spend our time is how we spend our life. Time is synonymous with life. And life is synonymous with time. If somebody said to me define life, it's literally how you spend your waking moments, how you spend the time you are given. And spend is such a good word because you are spending it and you are not getting it back. You are not getting an exchange, you are not getting a refund, you spend it, it's gone. That is not coming back into your account, so to speak, it's just gone. And so how we spend our time is how we spend our life and reading these scholarship applications. I was like, fuck, people are not happy, they're not enjoying their time. They're not enjoying, all have their hours spent at work, they're not enjoying their relationships. Like it was honestly, to me harrowing to read some of them, some of them were absolutely harrowing. Because all I could see was, here's what I really want. Here's how I want to spend my life. Here's how I want to feel, here's what I know I'm capable of, but I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. And like if you're not enjoying to give some real solid examples, not specifics, obviously, because I would never do that, like I'm so and I want to say this, I am so deeply touched and so deeply honoured that you if you did submit an application form, you trusted me. And you, you, you allowed me into to feel that to receive that and to help you to move through it. Because once you say it, once you type it, once you declare it, then we've got something to work with, we can move forward, and I'm so grateful that I can be a place that maybe can just hold the energy for you to see what's coming up for you. And then to move it to move through it. So I'm just I'm really honoured I'm so honoured. But also, I hope that this is all coming out in a way where you can see I'm honoured I'm touched and I'm lit the fuck up to help you to ignite something in you to activate something new to see that this isn't okay. If you are spending your time, for example, there was quite a lot of I hate my job. I hate my nine to five, I hate my office job. I really don't like what I'm doing. And it's it's not okay. I want to be doing this. I want to be doing that. But but but here's the box, here's the box, here's the fears, here's the fears, here's how it's hard. Here's the limitations. And look, some of them are genuinely, they're legit. Like they're valid, of course, they're valid, we're scared. Money is a real thing. We've got mortgages to pay, I totally understand I totally understand. For now just understand that what I'm like what I'm getting at here is this is this is what I'm hearing. I want to be here, but I'm not, I'm not enjoying my hours spent at work. I'm not enjoying my relationship was another one that I was quite surprised by it came out in you know, deep down, I

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know that my relationship is not actually for my highest good. Deep down, I know that I'm actually not in the relationship that is for me. And I don't know if I can be alone. So what I was seeing was like, wow, people are spending their time, meaning their life, wishing that they were somewhere else. People are spending their time again, meaning their one life, one precious life, not actually enjoying it, wishing they were somewhere else. And to me, that is far more scary than what may or may not happen if you decide to make a change. And so I really thought about this and I've always you know, I've always been so deeply like what is life? What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? Like, what are we here to do? And for me, how I spend my time in my life means I want to just be fucking giving it a crack man like, I don't know, I want to be lit up by my work. I want to be like, I can't believe I get to do this. I can't believe this is my job. I can't believe how blessed I am. I can't believe how fucking challenging this is. I'm giving it a crack. Like, I can't believe that I met this person because I had the balls to walk away from relationships that were mediocre. I want to know that I'm spending my time doing something that matters doing something that is in there waiting to be expressed. And so I have Look into it because I was like, we need to smack some people in the face with this. If you're not liking your job, for example, and there's a lot of different statistics, a lot of different studies, I was reading a study from a sociology paper, and essentially it was based on a full time working life and based on a full time working week, most and on average, give or take, most adults spend 50% of their working hours, sorry, their waking hours, 50% of their waking hours working. So 50% of your time, awake time, 50% of your time, meaning life, when you are awake, is at work. And if you don't love it, you are wasting 50% of your life, then you've got to add sleep, we sleep. So take away, sleep, take away work, take away, driving to work, commuting to work, take away doing life admin running around during the groceries, how much is left for you to live a life, not much. And that's not good enough, we need to be enjoying more of our time awake. And then going one further. I went down the rabbit hole a little bit with this. But it's even worse when we look at how much time meaning life, how much of our life we are spending on screens. And granted. I know I spent a lot of time on screens, because it's part of my job. It's right now I'm on a screen call. I fucking love it, though. But I am so guilty for spending so much more time than necessary on my phone, doing something that is not adding joy to my life. How much time do we spend on screens. When that is our life? Actually, we spend nine to 30 years in our lifetime millennials. That's real bad. But most adults on average, anywhere from a decade to three decades of our life is spent on screens, particularly on phones. So are we spending our time and our life in a way that it's going to be good when we get to the end? Whenever that may be. And if you're in a relationship guys, like if you're in a relationship and you hear yourself saying things like deep down, I know that this isn't for me. How much of your time do you spend with your person? How much of that is not enough for you? How much are you spending of your life in a place that's not actually bringing you enough? Like, and look, I feel this one so deeply. I feel this so deeply because I have been there so many times. And I remember a wake up call, I remember a wake up call. And it hit me in the face. And it was really horrible. It was a hard time I remember I was in a relationship. I'd been with my partner for maybe two years by the by the stage. And he was you know, all in wanted to get married. All of that we lived together. All of that beautiful, beautiful person. But one of my best friends rang me and said she was crying. Like she was so happy. She couldn't believe it. She had just gotten engaged and she was beside herself. She was like, this is the love of my life. I

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can't believe this. I'm so happy. And in that moment, I felt a pang of jealousy. And I was like, Oh my God, that's not right. Like, that's not okay. That is not okay. And, and so if that is you, I want just for you to understand that like there is if that is you that there's something more there's something better like, I know that there's your person out there where you will never have to feel that way you will never have to feel like oh, look, this is just the cards I was dealt. This is just, this is just it for me. Like, no how you spend your time is how you spend your life. And if you want more, you have two choices. Two choices because here's what I'm hearing inside all of these applications and inside all of the people that I speak to who join level up what I'm hearing is the position that I'm in at the moment is hard. I feel stagnant. I feel frustrated. I feel uninspired. I feel like I'm not lit up. I feel like it's Groundhog Day. I feel like I'm wasting my life. That to me sounds hard. That to me sounds scary. And so, yes, if you've got a dream or something else you want to be doing or someone else that you're feeling like you should be with or another business that lights you the fuck up. Yes, it's gonna be scary to do it. Because it's so unfamiliar. There are so many unknowns. There's so much out there that you don't know how it's gonna go. There's so many obstacles and challenges that you will have to get through. Trust me on that you will it is not I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying I'm not saying it's, you know, the easiest thing you'll ever do. But it is so rewarding and you are already in a difficult place. You are already in a scary place. So choose make a decision. Choose your heart. You're already in it. You're already in it. And how you spend your time is how you spend your life and there is there is too many people out there who are not enjoying the way they're spending their time and therefore not enjoying their life and we get one we get one. So choose your heart. Choose your scary you choose it, you're already in a situation that doesn't sound great. So choose a different hard, you know? What is the worst that can happen? What is the worst that can happen? You might wake up tomorrow and literally get the worst news ever, like you just don't know, you don't know. That is the only thing we know about life is that it will end. And so how are you spending your time. So I feel very, very lit up at the moment by all of that, because I want every single fucking human on the planet, I wanted to reach out to every person who wrote that application and I wanted to one on one, let's go, let's I need to talk to you, I need to make this happen. Because your life isn't worth it. Your life is not worth mediocre ho hum, I want to be somewhere else. But but but but you will find a way. When you decide that your life is worth living. When you decide that you only get one life and you're going to actually do something that makes you proud that lights a fire in your belly. When you decide, you will find a way it's that simple. And all the answers will come. And when you get into that energy of I'm gonna make it happen, I'm going to make it happen. It's a dedicated, committed decision. Everything comes to you trust me on that. That is the one thing I can say. And it has been proven time and time and time again, that the one thing that puts all successful people above a cut above the rest is not circumstance. It's not money. It's not skills, its attitude, and its persistence. And it's a fucking belief that they will make it happen no matter what. So when you can anchor into that energy and create this sense of urgency, that's what I want, I want you to have a sense of urgency. You don't know when you don't know how it's all going to come to an end for you. But you do know that the time you spend on this planet are going to be in a good way in a way that you're like, at least if I'm scared, I'm doing it in a way that's going to light me up. At least I'm doing it in a way that makes my kids proud at least I'm doing it in a way that makes me proud at least I'm doing it in a way that I know it's going towards my highest good because it's this dream that I can't stop thinking about is this feeling I can't stop thinking about. And so what I want to do to actually help you and to give you like an actionable practical tangible tip because yes, this is might be all very rah rah motivational call, but you need actually something to do to help you to tap into the reservoirs within you to bring it up to bring out all of your doubts. And then to look at them on a piece of paper and go actually, it's not that bad. What's really bad is not enjoying my time, my days, my life, my job, my relationship and settling for a mediocre life,

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right? So what I want you to do, is I want you to just observe throughout your day, just observe where am I spending my time? What do I do in my days? my waking hours? What am I doing? How much time am I in a relationship or a room or with my friends thinking of this is boring? I don't want to be here. Is there something more for me? Is this it? How much time am I spending on a freeway going to a job that I fucking hate in a meeting where I'm looking at the clock and going I wish this would be over? I wish this time would go quicker? Literally wishing your time and life away. And how fast is life going? Like? That's another shock to me. Like watching my nieces grow up. I'm like, oh my god, life is going so fast. I am getting older at the same rate that they are. Holy shit, holy shit, right. My grandparents are getting really old. It's just this whole urgency that I have that but it's with calm, right? It's urgent. It's urgency with faith that it's all coming if I do my part, and that's the energy that I hope the people who finish level up this round coming will feel it's a sense of urgency with calm because that with trust that it's coming. That's what's creating peace. And that's what's creating productivity, urgency with a calm, trusting state of mind. And so how do you spend your time I want you to log it. I want you to observe it. I want you to see where you're spending your time. And then I want you to ask you, is this worthy of my life? How I'm spending my time Is it worthy of my life? Start watching your reactions to things start watching the language you're using. As always, like I said, a big wake up call for me was just observing the reaction I had when one of my friends got engaged and hearing that internal little needle within me that told me there's something out there for me and this isn't quite it. Listen, listen to the voice. Don't bury it. When you bury it, it becomes suppressed. Suppressed energy is depressed in the body. And it's not good. It's not good. So then I want you to get a piece of paper. I want you to get a piece of paper and I want you to divide it into three columns. I feel like a teacher again. Divide your piece of paper into three columns. Now I don't care if you use a ruler. No, I don't care what colour pen you use. That's to the year 17. No, but seriously, get a piece of paper when you're journaling when you're on your lunch break when you're at your desk pretending to work or actually working on your business working on your side hustle because you don't want to be there. write down all your fears on one column, write down all your fears on one column, and just list them. I'm scared that this I'm scared that that I'm scared that this what if this happens? What if that happens? Write down all your fears or your doubts. On the next column, I want you to write possible gains, possible gain. If I make a change, as in what have I got to gain from actually doing something about this? What have I got to gain? What might be out there for me in a good way? If I take, take just dare to take a step? If I dare to commit to this? What is the potential gain? And then on the next column, I want you to write what are the potentials if I stay in this position? What are the potentials if I stay where I am right now? What will happen project your future if nothing changes? If I don't change? What might happen? Where will I be one year from now, three years from now, five years from now? What is the knock on effect if I don't have the courage to make a change to how I spend my life and my time? What have you got? And then look at the page. And what you might say is that hopefully you will say for yourself, and this is what I want you to come just see what comes up for you. Right? You'll probably look at it and go, Fuck, I'm already choosing hard, I'm already choosing stagnant, I'm already choosing not enough for me. Why not choose a bit of fear? Fuck it. It's gonna be scary. Of course it is like, of course it is. And that's it makes life worth living. You're already stagnant. So anyway, that's what I would love you to do. If you need help, if you need this fire and kick up your ass and to be held accountable, and if you need tools and practical steps, and if you need a support network of people around you who are actually like, yeah, of course you can do this, like people who are ready to make to really make something of their life and to create a life where they're enjoying their time spent. Like to really create that create the relationships they love, like be around those people who are normalising it supporting you, cheering you

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up, expanding you, if you ready for that, then level up is open it open to the public today, all the links are in the show notes. It's going to be massive, it's going to be huge. I've got my own big goals that I will be definitely using this round to commit to and I can't wait to make it happen. I can't wait to see you guys to really like throw it all to the wind and let let in let go to let in let go of the fears let go and let in all this this this new potentials that are inside of you. You know. So anyway, I hope that wasn't too ranty for your ear holes. I need to I'm actually sweating at this stage because that got me a little bit fired up and it's bloody hot. So I'm gonna go, I'm gonna get myself to the NITSA I'm gonna go practice my Italian It's funny how many people actually assume I am Italian? I'm low key like, fuck is this a sign that I need to do some maintenance? Do I need to go and like, I don't know, pluck my mono brow or shave my legs? No, I'm just joking. No, seriously, it's pretty bad. Anyway, this is your reminder that the level up doors are open, go do it now. Do it. Don't hesitate. Don't see it in the way until when I'll if this happens, then I'll do it. It will never come that is sitting in the energy of waiting. And what do you do when you sit in the energy and wait, you create more weight it never comes. So take an action step. Whatever it is do that little journal prompt that I gave to you. Go do something take action join level up whatever you need to do. Go speak about this to somebody go talk to somebody reach out to me, tell me how this feels for you. I would love Love, love, love, love to hear from you. I've got to go have a shower. Have a great day and I will see you hopefully inside level up. If not I will see you somewhere inside my world inside my GM soon. Have a great Day. Bye Bye. Ciao ciao.