{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.179,"endTime":6.419,"body":"Welcome back to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.179,"endTime":6.419,"body":"show. Casey, I am honestly so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":6.419,"endTime":9.809,"body":"excited I've been I demolished"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":6.419,"endTime":9.809,"body":"your book very, very fast your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":9.809,"endTime":12.989,"body":"second book, and I am so excited"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":9.809,"endTime":12.989,"body":"like all of our listeners to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":12.989,"endTime":15.479,"body":"have you back on the show. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":12.989,"endTime":15.479,"body":"thank you so much for being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":15.479,"endTime":19.259,"body":"here, you've been a very, very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":15.479,"endTime":19.259,"body":"busy woman, oh, three, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":19.26,"endTime":22.83,"body":"is such an honour and a delight"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":19.26,"endTime":22.83,"body":"to be invited back on. So thank"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":22.83,"endTime":25.89,"body":"you for having me. And hello"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":22.83,"endTime":25.89,"body":"again, to all your listeners."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":25.92,"endTime":27.81,"body":"I'm thrilled to be back."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":28.02,"endTime":30.33,"body":"I know the listeners are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":28.02,"endTime":30.33,"body":"thrilled because a lot of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":30.33,"endTime":33.27,"body":"feedback we got and it was, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":30.33,"endTime":33.27,"body":"know, your last episode I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":33.27,"endTime":37.56,"body":"just saying to was so popular."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":33.27,"endTime":37.56,"body":"And so many mothers were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.56,"endTime":40.59,"body":"resonating with it. And then the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.56,"endTime":40.59,"body":"next question, which I'm sure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":40.59,"endTime":44.61,"body":"was the reason this second book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":40.59,"endTime":44.61,"body":"has come was this is so helpful,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":44.61,"endTime":49.11,"body":"but what do I do for my son. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":44.61,"endTime":49.11,"body":"really excited to get into this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":49.41,"endTime":53.76,"body":"So that that's that happened to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":49.41,"endTime":53.76,"body":"us on the day the book was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":53.76,"endTime":57.84,"body":"published. So I'm so sorry, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":53.76,"endTime":57.84,"body":"day raising girls was published."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":57.84,"endTime":61.47,"body":"So back in 2021, we were at a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":57.84,"endTime":61.47,"body":"cafe with a couple of our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":61.47,"endTime":64.92,"body":"friends talking about our new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":61.47,"endTime":64.92,"body":"book, and one of our friends,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":64.92,"endTime":67.86,"body":"she started tearing up, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":64.92,"endTime":67.86,"body":"was a shock as you're expecting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.86,"endTime":74.25,"body":"her to be happy graduations, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.86,"endTime":74.25,"body":"she said, my boy doesn't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.25,"endTime":78.72,"body":"himself. 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And I remember"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":172.5,"endTime":176.31,"body":"the group of lads like the, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":176.31,"endTime":179.43,"body":"know, the lads, the group, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":176.31,"endTime":179.43,"body":"boys there are, you know, quite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":179.43,"endTime":184.2,"body":"cheeky boys. And they were 16."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":179.43,"endTime":184.2,"body":"And one of them looked at me and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.2,"endTime":187.44,"body":"he was so serious. And he said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.2,"endTime":187.44,"body":"to me, miss, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":187.44,"endTime":193.77,"body":"struggle to oh, there was it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":187.44,"endTime":193.77,"body":"this moment. And I thought, Ah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":193.77,"endTime":198.03,"body":"you're so right. And I'm so glad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":193.77,"endTime":198.03,"body":"that you know, I hate that boy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.03,"endTime":202.29,"body":"had the courage to say something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.03,"endTime":202.29,"body":"like that. And be that now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":202.29,"endTime":204.21,"body":"there's people like you and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":202.29,"endTime":204.21,"body":"there's books, and there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.21,"endTime":206.91,"body":"resources, and there's so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.21,"endTime":206.91,"body":"conversation around how we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":206.91,"endTime":211.74,"body":"support boys who, statistically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":206.91,"endTime":211.74,"body":"are actually struggling. Really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":211.77,"endTime":213.99,"body":"like worse in some cases with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":211.77,"endTime":213.99,"body":"suicide."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":214.47,"endTime":217.35,"body":"Yeah, for sure. mental health"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":214.47,"endTime":217.35,"body":"and suicide rates for sure."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":217.44,"endTime":221.58,"body":"Yeah. So what was your I know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":217.44,"endTime":221.58,"body":"we're going to go into the seven"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":221.58,"endTime":225.39,"body":"pillars. But if you were to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":221.58,"endTime":225.39,"body":"summarise like the key"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":225.42,"endTime":229.11,"body":"difference. Yeah. What is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":225.42,"endTime":229.11,"body":"main difference in how we would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":229.11,"endTime":230.43,"body":"go about supporting boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":230.46,"endTime":235.11,"body":"really shocked me is that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":230.46,"endTime":235.11,"body":"already know that we need to put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":235.11,"endTime":238.38,"body":"work into raising girls who like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":235.11,"endTime":238.38,"body":"themselves, right? Yeah, there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":238.38,"endTime":241.62,"body":"are so many programmes around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":238.38,"endTime":241.62,"body":"like you left your industry to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":241.62,"endTime":245.64,"body":"do that. Right? Yeah. friendship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":241.62,"endTime":245.64,"body":"skills, experts say You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":245.64,"endTime":248.19,"body":"they've got more invitations to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":245.64,"endTime":248.19,"body":"go and speak to girls about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":248.19,"endTime":251.16,"body":"friendship schools than there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":248.19,"endTime":251.16,"body":"are days in the year. But they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":251.16,"endTime":254.04,"body":"can count on one hand, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":251.16,"endTime":254.04,"body":"number of times they've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":254.07,"endTime":257.34,"body":"invited to speak to boys. 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And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":344.7,"endTime":346.71,"body":"that's what you're saying about,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":346.71,"endTime":349.98,"body":"you know, we're raising them in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":346.71,"endTime":349.98,"body":"a way that there's a false"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":349.98,"endTime":352.62,"body":"dichotomy there. So would you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":349.98,"endTime":352.62,"body":"mind just speaking on the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":352.62,"endTime":355.95,"body":"that we're raising boys, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":352.62,"endTime":355.95,"body":"this whole idea that they need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":355.95,"endTime":358.53,"body":"to? Well, the concern that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":355.95,"endTime":358.53,"body":"parents have that we want them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":358.53,"endTime":361.2,"body":"to be strong so that they're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":358.53,"endTime":361.2,"body":"weak? And what your your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.2,"endTime":362.58,"body":"research has found? Yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":362.58,"endTime":366.51,"body":"sure. So when we started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":362.58,"endTime":366.51,"body":"researching, raising boys,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":366.54,"endTime":371.73,"body":"because we don't have boys?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":366.54,"endTime":371.73,"body":"Focus, yeah. started by asking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.73,"endTime":375.87,"body":"15,000 parents what their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.73,"endTime":375.87,"body":"biggest concerns were about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":375.87,"endTime":379.53,"body":"raising boys, and the biggest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":375.87,"endTime":379.53,"body":"questions they wanted us to find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":379.56,"endTime":383.88,"body":"evidence based answers to. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":379.56,"endTime":383.88,"body":"the responses, the similarities"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":383.88,"endTime":388.32,"body":"were striking. 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But one of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":400.77,"endTime":405.36,"body":"biggest worries by far was this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":400.77,"endTime":405.36,"body":"idea that parents felt they had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":405.36,"endTime":410.22,"body":"to choose between raising a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":405.36,"endTime":410.22,"body":"tough boy and a weak boy really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.22,"endTime":413.76,"body":"want to raise their boy to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.22,"endTime":413.76,"body":"tough. The mums didn't a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":413.76,"endTime":418.95,"body":"the dads did. But they worried"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":413.76,"endTime":418.95,"body":"that if they didn't toughen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.95,"endTime":422.01,"body":"their boy up, take deliberate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.95,"endTime":422.01,"body":"steps to toughen him up, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":422.01,"endTime":426.45,"body":"would be weak. And in a moment"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":422.01,"endTime":426.45,"body":"of total honesty, if they had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.45,"endTime":429.63,"body":"choose, they would choose tough"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.45,"endTime":429.63,"body":"because no one wants their kid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":429.63,"endTime":432.27,"body":"to be the one that slammed up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":429.63,"endTime":432.27,"body":"against the locker and lunchtime"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":432.27,"endTime":436.2,"body":"or kicked in the guts at soccer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":432.27,"endTime":436.2,"body":"practice, right? Yeah. But the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.2,"endTime":439.68,"body":"really answer that was actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.2,"endTime":439.68,"body":"the first start the starting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":439.68,"endTime":443.46,"body":"point of our research. Yeah, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":439.68,"endTime":443.46,"body":"unpick this problem. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":443.46,"endTime":447.03,"body":"real good news for parents is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":443.46,"endTime":447.03,"body":"that you don't have to choose."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":447.27,"endTime":451.02,"body":"And the assumption that we do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":447.27,"endTime":451.02,"body":"have to choose really cuts to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":451.02,"endTime":456.57,"body":"the biggest problem we have for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":451.02,"endTime":456.57,"body":"boys. Because tough if we raise"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":456.57,"endTime":459.96,"body":"the boy to be tough, what what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":456.57,"endTime":459.96,"body":"does tough mean? Tough means not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":459.96,"endTime":463.86,"body":"showing your emotions. Or it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":459.96,"endTime":463.86,"body":"means avoiding situations where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":463.86,"endTime":467.94,"body":"you might feel emotion. So we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":463.86,"endTime":467.94,"body":"get boys opting out of things,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":468.0,"endTime":472.08,"body":"not trying hard things, we get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":468.0,"endTime":472.08,"body":"boys being accused of being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":472.08,"endTime":476.7,"body":"lazy. Oh, my son. So good news"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":472.08,"endTime":476.7,"body":"is your son does not have the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":476.7,"endTime":481.68,"body":"laziness gene, quite possibly."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":476.7,"endTime":481.68,"body":"He just has not learned how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.68,"endTime":485.01,"body":"deal with the discomfort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.68,"endTime":485.01,"body":"failure, right? Because race to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":485.01,"endTime":488.82,"body":"be tough. Tough is, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":485.01,"endTime":488.82,"body":"never back away from a fight."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":489.12,"endTime":492.96,"body":"Yeah. And so we think that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":489.12,"endTime":492.96,"body":"that's power. But how much power"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":492.96,"endTime":496.08,"body":"do you have, if you're forced"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":492.96,"endTime":496.08,"body":"into a fight, the other kids got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":496.08,"endTime":499.32,"body":"the power right? To do something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":496.08,"endTime":499.32,"body":"you don't want to do and that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":545.42,"endTime":550.4,"body":"gonna hurt you is I must always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":545.42,"endTime":550.4,"body":"be in control, and I must be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":550.4,"endTime":554.27,"body":"dominant. Well, what happens in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":550.4,"endTime":554.27,"body":"a situation when you're not,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":554.3,"endTime":556.79,"body":"that means you can't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":554.3,"endTime":556.79,"body":"yourself, you can only like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":556.79,"endTime":559.5500000000001,"body":"yourself when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":556.79,"endTime":559.5500000000001,"body":"controlling, right? So that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":559.5500000000001,"endTime":566.84,"body":"makes you insecure. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":559.5500000000001,"endTime":566.84,"body":"that's outside your control. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":566.84,"endTime":571.73,"body":"what we realised that what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":566.84,"endTime":571.73,"body":"see as tough is actually making"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":571.73,"endTime":576.14,"body":"our boys brittle. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":571.73,"endTime":576.14,"body":"weakness is not the opposite of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.14,"endTime":580.07,"body":"tough. It is the consequence of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.14,"endTime":580.07,"body":"tough when we toughen up our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.07,"endTime":585.62,"body":"boys, we are making them weak."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.07,"endTime":585.62,"body":"And what we need to do instead"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.77,"endTime":590.3000000000001,"body":"is to raise boys who are strong,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.77,"endTime":590.3000000000001,"body":"and we talk about strength of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.3000000000001,"endTime":594.9200000000001,"body":"character, and so much strength"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.3000000000001,"endTime":594.9200000000001,"body":"look like, strength looks like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":594.9200000000001,"endTime":598.7900000000001,"body":"am strong enough to handle my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":594.9200000000001,"endTime":598.7900000000001,"body":"own emotions. I don't need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.7900000000001,"endTime":602.27,"body":"avoid them. I don't need to run"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.7900000000001,"endTime":602.27,"body":"them. I don't need to offload"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.27,"endTime":606.2,"body":"them on to someone else. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.27,"endTime":606.2,"body":"anger or violence or addiction,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":606.2,"endTime":610.28,"body":"you know, as they get older. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":606.2,"endTime":610.28,"body":"am strong enough to admit when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.28,"endTime":614.9300000000001,"body":"make a mistake and own up to it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.28,"endTime":614.9300000000001,"body":"That's the problem with men and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":614.9300000000001,"endTime":619.28,"body":"toughness, you know, men have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":614.9300000000001,"endTime":619.28,"body":"been raised that Real men don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.28,"endTime":624.08,"body":"make mistakes. Yeah. heard from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.28,"endTime":624.08,"body":"so many women that their husband"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.11,"endTime":627.47,"body":"and their father and their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.11,"endTime":627.47,"body":"brothers have never apologised"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":627.5,"endTime":631.58,"body":"once right. So that means their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":627.5,"endTime":631.58,"body":"boys have never set had a role"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":631.58,"endTime":636.1700000000001,"body":"model admits that they make a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":631.58,"endTime":636.1700000000001,"body":"mistake. But the thing is, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.1700000000001,"endTime":639.59,"body":"cannot go through life as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.1700000000001,"endTime":639.59,"body":"human being and never make a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":639.59,"endTime":642.35,"body":"mistake. And if you're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":639.59,"endTime":642.35,"body":"prepared, if you don't have the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.35,"endTime":646.22,"body":"strength of character to admit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.35,"endTime":646.22,"body":"your mistakes, you can't have A"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":646.22,"endTime":649.58,"body":"meaningful, intimate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":646.22,"endTime":649.58,"body":"relationship with someone. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":650.03,"endTime":654.95,"body":"denying our boys the opportunity"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":650.03,"endTime":654.95,"body":"of true connection. Yeah, not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":654.95,"endTime":658.5500000000001,"body":"help them build the strength of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":654.95,"endTime":658.5500000000001,"body":"character to admit when they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":658.5500000000001,"endTime":659.57,"body":"make a mistake."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.139,"endTime":664.099,"body":"Wow, this is it. I wonder how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.139,"endTime":664.099,"body":"many women are reading this book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":664.099,"endTime":666.919,"body":"and going to actually my husband"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":664.099,"endTime":666.919,"body":"could probably, you know, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.919,"endTime":668.029,"body":"couples therapy or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":669.739,"endTime":674.059,"body":"not it's men's fault because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":669.739,"endTime":674.059,"body":"they were raised. Yeah, if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":674.059,"endTime":679.429,"body":"look at the stats of boys, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":674.059,"endTime":679.429,"body":"are scary and terrifying, if we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.429,"endTime":683.029,"body":"want to change that, we have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.429,"endTime":683.029,"body":"do something differently. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":683.089,"endTime":686.869,"body":"this is the place to start. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":683.089,"endTime":686.869,"body":"one of the pillars I know I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.869,"endTime":691.669,"body":"jumping around, is strength of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.869,"endTime":691.669,"body":"character. And at the foundation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":691.669,"endTime":696.0790000000001,"body":"of strength of character is what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":691.669,"endTime":696.0790000000001,"body":"we call emotional bravery. That"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":696.0790000000001,"endTime":701.719,"body":"is teaching your boy to be brave"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":696.0790000000001,"endTime":701.719,"body":"enough to name his feelings,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":701.809,"endTime":707.4490000000001,"body":"acknowledge it, and we then deal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":701.809,"endTime":707.4490000000001,"body":"with it and take responsibility"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.4490000000001,"endTime":712.789,"body":"to own his own emotions. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.4490000000001,"endTime":712.789,"body":"researching this is amazing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.8190000000001,"endTime":717.289,"body":"because emotional bravery is not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.8190000000001,"endTime":717.289,"body":"as hard as it sounds, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":717.289,"endTime":720.169,"body":"Because that sounds like an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":717.289,"endTime":720.169,"body":"impossible task. But what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":720.169,"endTime":723.109,"body":"found research in it was so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":720.169,"endTime":723.109,"body":"simple that Chris, my husband,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":723.109,"endTime":727.219,"body":"you know, who was also raised?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":723.109,"endTime":727.219,"body":"And he didn't even understand it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":727.219,"endTime":730.099,"body":"at first. Yeah, we'll get out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":727.219,"endTime":730.099,"body":"the book. And I had to put it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.099,"endTime":734.869,"body":"back in and said, No, no, Chris,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.099,"endTime":734.869,"body":"that's the point. What it is, is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.869,"endTime":740.3290000000001,"body":"that research shows that just by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.869,"endTime":740.3290000000001,"body":"accurately naming your emotions,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":740.389,"endTime":744.0790000000001,"body":"yeah, what you're feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":740.389,"endTime":744.0790000000001,"body":"accurately, you can shortcut the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.0790000000001,"endTime":750.289,"body":"link between distress and anger."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.0790000000001,"endTime":750.289,"body":"And so we've heard from a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":750.289,"endTime":754.6990000000001,"body":"moms who are really worried"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":750.289,"endTime":754.6990000000001,"body":"about their boys anger, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":754.6990000000001,"endTime":758.779,"body":"get into accurately say what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":754.6990000000001,"endTime":758.779,"body":"he's feeling. You can turn off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":758.779,"endTime":764.2090000000001,"body":"that anger. Wow, one technique"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":758.779,"endTime":764.2090000000001,"body":"can change your boy's life. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.2090000000001,"endTime":768.049,"body":"the key is he has to do it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.2090000000001,"endTime":768.049,"body":"accurately. And the problem is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.0790000000001,"endTime":772.729,"body":"many men, women too, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.0790000000001,"endTime":772.729,"body":"particularly men, can only name"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.729,"endTime":778.6990000000001,"body":"three emotions, happy, sad,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.729,"endTime":778.6990000000001,"body":"angry. Boy says he's angry, when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.6990000000001,"endTime":785.119,"body":"he's actually embarrassed or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.6990000000001,"endTime":785.119,"body":"lonely, then that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.119,"endTime":787.639,"body":"it doesn't work. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.639,"endTime":790.4590000000001,"body":"actually what I'll give you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.639,"endTime":790.4590000000001,"body":"I'll give you a link. So your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.4590000000001,"endTime":794.659,"body":"listeners can download an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.4590000000001,"endTime":794.659,"body":"emotions wheel. And we recommend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":794.659,"endTime":798.019,"body":"print it out, put it on your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":794.659,"endTime":798.019,"body":"fridge. And what it is, is you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":798.019,"endTime":803.3290000000001,"body":"find you start with the happy,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":798.019,"endTime":803.3290000000001,"body":"sad, angry to help you find out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":803.3290000000001,"endTime":808.6990000000001,"body":"what is actually feeling so he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":803.3290000000001,"endTime":808.6990000000001,"body":"can learn to name it, articulate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":808.6990000000001,"endTime":813.019,"body":"it, and then he will feel so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":808.6990000000001,"endTime":813.019,"body":"much better. And so we do that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":813.019,"endTime":815.179,"body":"all the time, right? When we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":813.019,"endTime":815.179,"body":"catch up with our girlfriends"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":815.179,"endTime":818.119,"body":"when we've had a bad day or a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":815.179,"endTime":818.119,"body":"fight with or whatever, what are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":818.119,"endTime":822.259,"body":"we doing? We're accurately"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":818.119,"endTime":822.259,"body":"naming our emotions to a trusted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":822.259,"endTime":825.889,"body":"person. We walk away feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":822.259,"endTime":825.889,"body":"better. So so true."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.369,"endTime":829.4590000000001,"body":"So true. And it's not something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.369,"endTime":829.4590000000001,"body":"it's so interesting, I find, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":829.4590000000001,"endTime":832.489,"body":"know, from the lens of an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":829.4590000000001,"endTime":832.489,"body":"educator, it was like we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":832.489,"endTime":835.369,"body":"giving them these great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":832.489,"endTime":835.369,"body":"vocabularies for lots of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":835.369,"endTime":837.799,"body":"different things. They know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":835.369,"endTime":837.799,"body":"literature, techniques, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.799,"endTime":840.349,"body":"know all of these things. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.799,"endTime":840.349,"body":"when you ask them how they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":840.349,"endTime":844.159,"body":"feeling, I don't know."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":840.349,"endTime":844.159,"body":"Sometimes, I don't know is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":844.159,"endTime":848.059,"body":"answer. And I find you know, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":844.159,"endTime":848.059,"body":"think it's Lael Stone, who said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":848.599,"endTime":851.3290000000001,"body":"You cannot give what you do not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":848.599,"endTime":851.3290000000001,"body":"have. And I think even a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":851.3290000000001,"endTime":855.259,"body":"adults will say, I don't know, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":851.3290000000001,"endTime":855.259,"body":"don't know what I'm feeling and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.259,"endTime":857.809,"body":"overwhelmed might be a common"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.259,"endTime":857.809,"body":"thing, or I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":857.809,"endTime":862.309,"body":"frustrated. And I think if we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":857.809,"endTime":862.309,"body":"can build out those our language"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":862.339,"endTime":864.8290000000001,"body":"that's just so important that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":862.339,"endTime":864.8290000000001,"body":"will link that thank you so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":864.8290000000001,"endTime":868.789,"body":"much. That makes me so excited"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":864.8290000000001,"endTime":868.789,"body":"for so many reasons. And I know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":868.789,"endTime":873.9490000000001,"body":"that's pillar two. Yes. So we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":868.789,"endTime":873.9490000000001,"body":"jumped ahead. But pillar one,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":873.9490000000001,"endTime":877.009,"body":"the power perspective, that was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":873.9490000000001,"endTime":877.009,"body":"the same pillar for raising"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.009,"endTime":880.549,"body":"girls. So is there any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.009,"endTime":880.549,"body":"differentiation for boys? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.549,"endTime":883.369,"body":"how does that manifest in boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.549,"endTime":883.369,"body":"like themselves?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.399,"endTime":886.099,"body":"Okay, there is a difference of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.399,"endTime":886.099,"body":"similarities, of course, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.099,"endTime":890.149,"body":"there's, there are differences."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.099,"endTime":890.149,"body":"So, a power perspective is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":890.149,"endTime":893.059,"body":"idea that we can't control all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":890.149,"endTime":893.059,"body":"the things that are going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":893.059,"endTime":896.629,"body":"happen in our lives. And for our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":893.059,"endTime":896.629,"body":"boys. We can't even anticipate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.629,"endTime":898.999,"body":"them, right? The world is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.629,"endTime":898.999,"body":"changing so fast. We don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.999,"endTime":902.659,"body":"what they're going to face. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.999,"endTime":902.659,"body":"everybody has the power to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.659,"endTime":906.1990000000001,"body":"choose how they perceive what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.659,"endTime":906.1990000000001,"body":"happens and how they react to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":906.1990000000001,"endTime":910.339,"body":"what happens. We can teach our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":906.1990000000001,"endTime":910.339,"body":"boys to think in a way that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":910.339,"endTime":913.729,"body":"works for them rather than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":910.339,"endTime":913.729,"body":"against them. And what we found"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.729,"endTime":917.5690000000001,"body":"with boys and men, it's part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.729,"endTime":917.5690000000001,"body":"the masculinity that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.5690000000001,"endTime":923.659,"body":"unhelpful is the idea that real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.5690000000001,"endTime":923.659,"body":"men are negative. So to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.659,"endTime":929.869,"body":"optimistic, Oleanna it's a trait"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.659,"endTime":929.869,"body":"Yeah, go through life that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.869,"endTime":933.739,"body":"everything's a bit crap and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.869,"endTime":933.739,"body":"undermine everything and they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.739,"endTime":939.679,"body":"run it down and yeah, that's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.739,"endTime":939.679,"body":"male trait and their humour is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.679,"endTime":943.429,"body":"self deprecating they'll run and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.679,"endTime":943.429,"body":"the way they interact with each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":943.4590000000001,"endTime":946.909,"body":"other is by you know, ribbing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":943.4590000000001,"endTime":946.909,"body":"each other. aren't running each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.909,"endTime":951.169,"body":"other down? Now? It's fine to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.909,"endTime":951.169,"body":"have some jest. I'm not saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":951.169,"endTime":954.889,"body":"that you shouldn't. Yeah, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":951.169,"endTime":954.889,"body":"the thing is that what your boy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":954.889,"endTime":960.619,"body":"says is what his brain believes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":954.889,"endTime":960.619,"body":"And we need to by the time boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.619,"endTime":963.889,"body":"get to tweens, we hear this a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.619,"endTime":963.889,"body":"lot from parents that is so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.889,"endTime":967.789,"body":"negative is negative about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.889,"endTime":967.789,"body":"everything. And that is because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.789,"endTime":970.8190000000001,"body":"he has been a boy long enough to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.789,"endTime":970.8190000000001,"body":"know that that's what real boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.8190000000001,"endTime":974.809,"body":"do. But the good news is, is he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.8190000000001,"endTime":974.809,"body":"is also old enough to know at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.809,"endTime":981.1990000000001,"body":"that point, that thinking like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.809,"endTime":981.1990000000001,"body":"that makes his life harder. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.229,"endTime":986.299,"body":"our job as parents to point out,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.229,"endTime":986.299,"body":"you have a choice, and go to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.299,"endTime":989.809,"body":"sports day, and talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.299,"endTime":989.809,"body":"everything about it, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.809,"endTime":993.379,"body":"going to hate, and you're going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.809,"endTime":993.379,"body":"to have a really bad day, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":993.7090000000001,"endTime":997.279,"body":"Yeah, what a sports day. And you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":993.7090000000001,"endTime":997.279,"body":"can focus on the things that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":997.279,"endTime":999.799,"body":"you're going to like, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":997.279,"endTime":999.799,"body":"going to like the Peda lollies"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.799,"endTime":1002.4390000000001,"body":"I'm going to pack in your bag,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.799,"endTime":1002.4390000000001,"body":"you're gonna live with your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1002.4390000000001,"endTime":1009.129,"body":"mates. Yeah, doing that today."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1002.4390000000001,"endTime":1009.129,"body":"Choose to have a good day, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.129,"endTime":1012.789,"body":"is your power. And you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.129,"endTime":1012.789,"body":"choose it. The other part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1012.789,"endTime":1017.469,"body":"power perspective, which relates"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1012.789,"endTime":1017.469,"body":"to boys, also to girls, but does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.469,"endTime":1022.359,"body":"feed into our fear about boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.469,"endTime":1022.359,"body":"and peer pressure, is the idea"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.659,"endTime":1027.069,"body":"that each person has the power"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.659,"endTime":1027.069,"body":"to judge themselves, they get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1027.069,"endTime":1030.999,"body":"decide who they are, and if they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1027.069,"endTime":1030.999,"body":"are, okay. And these are the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1030.999,"endTime":1035.949,"body":"seeds that we can plant from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1030.999,"endTime":1035.949,"body":"very, very young age, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.949,"endTime":1039.759,"body":"hopefully they bloom and they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.949,"endTime":1039.759,"body":"going to be have very firm roots"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.759,"endTime":1043.359,"body":"by the time they really need it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.759,"endTime":1043.359,"body":"And so that strategy is the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1043.359,"endTime":1047.349,"body":"for girls. The first one is, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1043.359,"endTime":1047.349,"body":"know, the giraffe, which is if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.349,"endTime":1050.559,"body":"someone calls you a giraffe,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.349,"endTime":1050.559,"body":"does that make you a giraffe?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.589,"endTime":1053.949,"body":"And you can do that to a two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.589,"endTime":1053.949,"body":"year old? Katie said I'm a baby"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.949,"endTime":1057.9089999999999,"body":"because I bought my doll to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.949,"endTime":1057.9089999999999,"body":"school. Yeah, whatever. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.059,"endTime":1060.489,"body":"Did you were a giraffe. Would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.059,"endTime":1060.489,"body":"that make you a giraffe?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.609,"endTime":1065.229,"body":"Yeah, I love that so much. Love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.609,"endTime":1065.229,"body":"it. That's so good. I think that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.499,"endTime":1068.019,"body":"there will be so many parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.499,"endTime":1068.019,"body":"listening to this with such"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1068.019,"endTime":1071.7389999999998,"body":"practical tips who are going,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1068.019,"endTime":1071.7389999999998,"body":"this is actually something that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1071.769,"endTime":1075.399,"body":"we can use so quickly and say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1071.769,"endTime":1075.399,"body":"such positive changes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1075.609,"endTime":1078.789,"body":"That's right, because it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1075.609,"endTime":1078.789,"body":"take any more time. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.789,"endTime":1081.9989999999998,"body":"what we need to do. And the good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.789,"endTime":1081.9989999999998,"body":"news is you don't have to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.9989999999998,"endTime":1086.799,"body":"massive interventions, you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.9989999999998,"endTime":1086.799,"body":"have to have programmes we get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1086.799,"endTime":1091.329,"body":"in first as parents Yeah, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1086.799,"endTime":1091.329,"body":"most. So it is out every day,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1091.359,"endTime":1096.009,"body":"little parenting tweaks, yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1091.359,"endTime":1096.009,"body":"can lay the foundation to change"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1096.009,"endTime":1099.1889999999999,"body":"your boy's life. And so just one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1096.009,"endTime":1099.1889999999999,"body":"more on the power perspective"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.1889999999999,"endTime":1102.009,"body":"that every parent can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.1889999999999,"endTime":1102.009,"body":"straightaway. And it is also the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1102.009,"endTime":1106.299,"body":"same for girls is flipping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1102.009,"endTime":1106.299,"body":"praise. So your child will ask"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.329,"endTime":1111.039,"body":"for praise between the age of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.329,"endTime":1111.039,"body":"two and 10, about 6000 times."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.9989999999998,"endTime":1115.149,"body":"That's how many times they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.9989999999998,"endTime":1115.149,"body":"going to come to you and say, Do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1115.149,"endTime":1119.859,"body":"you like my karate kick? Do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1115.149,"endTime":1119.859,"body":"like my drawing? Do you like my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1119.889,"endTime":1128.109,"body":"cat? 6000 times you get to say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1119.889,"endTime":1128.109,"body":"it's your work. It's your karate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1128.109,"endTime":1131.559,"body":"kick. I'm really interested in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1128.109,"endTime":1131.559,"body":"knowing what you think you tell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1131.559,"endTime":1136.359,"body":"me what you think. Because when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1131.559,"endTime":1136.359,"body":"we give our opinion, we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.359,"endTime":1139.2389999999998,"body":"telling our boy well, actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.359,"endTime":1139.2389999999998,"body":"what I think matters more, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.2389999999998,"endTime":1144.369,"body":"judging you. And we need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.2389999999998,"endTime":1144.369,"body":"teach our boys 6000 times when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.369,"endTime":1148.059,"body":"we judge them, they are the ones"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.369,"endTime":1148.059,"body":"who get to decide if they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.059,"endTime":1152.049,"body":"okay. And so parents sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.059,"endTime":1152.049,"body":"say to us when I say that my boy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1152.049,"endTime":1154.9289999999999,"body":"gets really angry at me. He gets"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1152.049,"endTime":1154.9289999999999,"body":"really annoyed because he's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.9289999999999,"endTime":1159.009,"body":"actually wanting the praise. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.9289999999999,"endTime":1159.009,"body":"of course we all want praise,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.009,"endTime":1162.639,"body":"right? So two things I'd say to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.009,"endTime":1162.639,"body":"that is first of all, when they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1162.639,"endTime":1164.889,"body":"count, you are seeking praise,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1162.639,"endTime":1164.889,"body":"they are also seeking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1164.889,"endTime":1168.9089999999999,"body":"connection. So make sure you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1164.889,"endTime":1168.9089999999999,"body":"give connection, which means Put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.9089999999999,"endTime":1172.9589999999998,"body":"down the knife wings, chopping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.9089999999999,"endTime":1172.9589999999998,"body":"carrots. Yeah, agree and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.9589999999998,"endTime":1175.7489999999998,"body":"actually look at them and let"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.9589999999998,"endTime":1175.7489999999998,"body":"them know that you are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1175.7489999999998,"endTime":1180.639,"body":"interested. But the second thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1175.7489999999998,"endTime":1180.639,"body":"is, our job is not to create"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1180.639,"endTime":1183.9089999999999,"body":"perfect childhoods where our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1180.639,"endTime":1183.9089999999999,"body":"children never get upset at us."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.509,"endTime":1188.7089999999998,"body":"Our job is to raise functioning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.509,"endTime":1188.7089999999998,"body":"adults who don't need us. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.7089999999998,"endTime":1193.9889999999998,"body":"part of that is teaching them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.7089999999998,"endTime":1193.9889999999998,"body":"that they get to decide who they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1193.9889999999998,"endTime":1196.839,"body":"are. And if they are good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1193.9889999999998,"endTime":1196.839,"body":"enough. Even if they don't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1196.839,"endTime":1199.6889999999999,"body":"that lesson, they will they will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1196.839,"endTime":1199.6889999999999,"body":"thank you. Hold on."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.6899999999998,"endTime":1203.4699999999998,"body":"Yeah, so good. I love that. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.6899999999998,"endTime":1203.4699999999998,"body":"actually, I have a question"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1203.5,"endTime":1207.34,"body":"about the power perspective, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1203.5,"endTime":1207.34,"body":"lot of because a lot of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1207.37,"endTime":1211.03,"body":"questions that came in from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1207.37,"endTime":1211.03,"body":"parents was a very an echo of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1211.03,"endTime":1213.37,"body":"what you said about they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1211.03,"endTime":1213.37,"body":"quite negative, and they're a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.37,"endTime":1217.0,"body":"little bit angry. And a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.37,"endTime":1217.0,"body":"it is schools boring. I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1217.0,"endTime":1219.61,"body":"want to go to school. I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1217.0,"endTime":1219.61,"body":"they're very disengaged, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1219.61,"endTime":1222.9699999999998,"body":"they've got this anger and a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1219.61,"endTime":1222.9699999999998,"body":"disempowered perspective when it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1222.9699999999998,"endTime":1226.12,"body":"comes to school. Do you have any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1222.9699999999998,"endTime":1226.12,"body":"advice for the parents who are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.12,"endTime":1228.8799999999999,"body":"really struggling to get their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.12,"endTime":1228.8799999999999,"body":"kids to see school in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.8799999999999,"endTime":1229.6,"body":"different way?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1229.779,"endTime":1233.6789999999999,"body":"Yeah. So similar to the example"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1229.779,"endTime":1233.6789999999999,"body":"that I just gave about sports"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1233.6789999999999,"endTime":1238.329,"body":"day. You have to go to school."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1233.6789999999999,"endTime":1238.329,"body":"Yeah, that's the law. You don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1238.329,"endTime":1242.559,"body":"get a choice about that. But you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1238.329,"endTime":1242.559,"body":"do get a choice about what kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.559,"endTime":1247.269,"body":"of day you're going to have. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.559,"endTime":1247.269,"body":"so the other thing Is that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.269,"endTime":1250.869,"body":"write about in the boys book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.269,"endTime":1250.869,"body":"about power perspective, is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1250.869,"endTime":1256.4489999999998,"body":"Kuwait is law. And this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1250.869,"endTime":1256.4489999999998,"body":"amazing. It's Kuwait is the is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.599,"endTime":1261.399,"body":"the father of autosuggestion,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.599,"endTime":1261.399,"body":"the godfather of it. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1261.399,"endTime":1265.329,"body":"Kuwait is law is that when the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1261.399,"endTime":1265.329,"body":"imagination, so that's that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1265.329,"endTime":1268.569,"body":"little voice in our head is in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1265.329,"endTime":1268.569,"body":"conflict with what we want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1268.569,"endTime":1274.839,"body":"happen. Our imagination wins"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1268.569,"endTime":1274.839,"body":"out. And so if your boy is going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1274.869,"endTime":1277.569,"body":"schools going to be terrible,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1274.869,"endTime":1277.569,"body":"I'm going to have an awful day,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.599,"endTime":1280.089,"body":"I'm going to do my math test,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.599,"endTime":1280.089,"body":"and I'm going to fail it and I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.089,"endTime":1283.4189999999999,"body":"going to suck bla bla bla."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.089,"endTime":1283.4189999999999,"body":"That's his imagination. What he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.4189999999999,"endTime":1286.629,"body":"wants to happen is have a good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.4189999999999,"endTime":1286.629,"body":"day, right? Yeah, that's what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1286.629,"endTime":1289.599,"body":"he's saying to himself, that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1286.629,"endTime":1289.599,"body":"most likely what's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1289.599,"endTime":1293.1989999999998,"body":"happen. So what we talk about in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1289.599,"endTime":1293.1989999999998,"body":"the book is hacking Conway's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.1989999999998,"endTime":1298.269,"body":"Law. So train your boy to focus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.1989999999998,"endTime":1298.269,"body":"on and visualise what he wants"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.269,"endTime":1301.389,"body":"to happen. Let his imagination"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.269,"endTime":1301.389,"body":"work for him, rather than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.389,"endTime":1305.349,"body":"against him. And so talk to him"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.389,"endTime":1305.349,"body":"again, tell me, what would a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1305.349,"endTime":1309.549,"body":"really good day look like? What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1305.349,"endTime":1309.549,"body":"could could you do to make a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1309.549,"endTime":1312.579,"body":"really good day, and you can go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1309.549,"endTime":1312.579,"body":"through the steps and you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.609,"endTime":1317.139,"body":"visualise doing well on his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.609,"endTime":1317.139,"body":"maths test. And the thing about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1317.139,"endTime":1319.599,"body":"that when you visualise"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1317.139,"endTime":1319.599,"body":"positively what you want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.599,"endTime":1324.2489999999998,"body":"happen, you work harder. So if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.599,"endTime":1324.2489999999998,"body":"you think you're going to fail"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1324.2489999999998,"endTime":1326.769,"body":"your maths test was not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1324.2489999999998,"endTime":1326.769,"body":"listening in class, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.769,"endTime":1329.4389999999999,"body":"what's the point? He's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.769,"endTime":1329.4389999999999,"body":"fail anyway? Right? Yes. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.039,"endTime":1333.789,"body":"visualises that he's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.039,"endTime":1333.789,"body":"do? Well, he's going to try. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1333.789,"endTime":1336.4289999999999,"body":"when it gets to the test, he's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1333.789,"endTime":1336.4289999999999,"body":"not going to psych himself out."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1336.549,"endTime":1342.6989999999998,"body":"So we will do better. Hacking,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1336.549,"endTime":1342.6989999999998,"body":"cutaways law. The other thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1342.6989999999998,"endTime":1346.299,"body":"about boys in school, we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1342.6989999999998,"endTime":1346.299,"body":"jumping ahead to another pillow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1346.9589999999998,"endTime":1350.859,"body":"to balance but because you asked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1346.9589999999998,"endTime":1350.859,"body":"that question, yeah, is another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1350.859,"endTime":1355.119,"body":"myth about boys that is really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1350.859,"endTime":1355.119,"body":"harming them, is the idea that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1355.149,"endTime":1359.9189999999999,"body":"boys need to be dragged through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1355.149,"endTime":1359.9189999999999,"body":"their education, push them,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1360.279,"endTime":1366.849,"body":"challenge them more. Often, boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1360.279,"endTime":1366.849,"body":"start school, behind girls,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1366.9689999999998,"endTime":1372.759,"body":"socially and emotionally, their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1366.9689999999998,"endTime":1372.759,"body":"fine motor skills right? Within,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1372.789,"endTime":1375.519,"body":"of course, it's very normal for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1372.789,"endTime":1375.519,"body":"parents to be worried about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1375.519,"endTime":1380.559,"body":"that, right. But that's just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1375.519,"endTime":1380.559,"body":"where they start. It's not where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1380.559,"endTime":1385.2089999999998,"body":"they stay, right. And so I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1380.559,"endTime":1385.2089999999998,"body":"spoken to parents, they put so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.2089999999998,"endTime":1387.849,"body":"much pressure on the boy because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.2089999999998,"endTime":1387.849,"body":"he's not reading from the top"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1387.849,"endTime":1391.839,"body":"reader box, or even the middle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1387.849,"endTime":1391.839,"body":"reader box, right. And when boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1391.839,"endTime":1396.279,"body":"get too much pressure, they opt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1391.839,"endTime":1396.279,"body":"out, girls tend to become"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.279,"endTime":1400.389,"body":"perfectionists, and they get it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.279,"endTime":1400.389,"body":"and they get all the things that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.389,"endTime":1404.4389999999999,"body":"go along with perfectionism."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.389,"endTime":1404.4389999999999,"body":"Boys become what looks like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1404.4389999999999,"endTime":1410.559,"body":"laziness. And so what we need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1404.4389999999999,"endTime":1410.559,"body":"do without boys is to just back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.559,"endTime":1415.2089999999998,"body":"off, and let them unfurl and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.559,"endTime":1415.2089999999998,"body":"learn at their own pace and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1415.2089999999998,"endTime":1418.869,"body":"support them and a technique to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1415.2089999999998,"endTime":1418.869,"body":"do that. And we do this in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.869,"endTime":1424.059,"body":"house, focus on the process of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.869,"endTime":1424.059,"body":"learning, not that outcome. In"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1424.059,"endTime":1427.599,"body":"our house, we don't ask our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1424.059,"endTime":1427.599,"body":"girls about their test results."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1427.629,"endTime":1432.399,"body":"We don't even ask about it. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1427.629,"endTime":1432.399,"body":"only talk about the process of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.399,"endTime":1437.079,"body":"learning. Did you try something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.399,"endTime":1437.079,"body":"hard? Something on your tests"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1437.079,"endTime":1439.569,"body":"that you didn't understand? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1437.079,"endTime":1439.569,"body":"did you go and ask the teacher"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.569,"endTime":1444.369,"body":"later? That's fantastic. Well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.569,"endTime":1444.369,"body":"done. Yes, or no, because kids"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1444.369,"endTime":1447.4589999999998,"body":"can control that. It doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1444.369,"endTime":1447.4589999999998,"body":"matter where they are on that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1447.4589999999998,"endTime":1451.149,"body":"bell curve. Every kid can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1447.4589999999998,"endTime":1451.149,"body":"control the process of learning."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1451.4189999999999,"endTime":1454.6889999999999,"body":"And if that's what you value,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1451.4189999999999,"endTime":1454.6889999999999,"body":"and that's what you encourage,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1454.7189999999998,"endTime":1457.7489999999998,"body":"then you take the pressure off,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1454.7189999999998,"endTime":1457.7489999999998,"body":"you empower them because they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.7489999999998,"endTime":1462.549,"body":"can always succeed at it, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.7489999999998,"endTime":1462.549,"body":"the results will take care of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1462.549,"endTime":1463.389,"body":"themselves."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.84,"endTime":1467.32,"body":"That's amazing. This is just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.84,"endTime":1467.32,"body":"like music to my ears. I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1467.32,"endTime":1471.58,"body":"it. And number. I know we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1467.32,"endTime":1471.58,"body":"jumped around pillar three,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1471.61,"endTime":1476.1999999999998,"body":"which I actually find of all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1471.61,"endTime":1476.1999999999998,"body":"the ones in the in the book. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1476.1999999999998,"endTime":1478.99,"body":"think a lot of parents might be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1476.1999999999998,"endTime":1478.99,"body":"like, well shivers, body"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1478.99,"endTime":1483.34,"body":"confidence. Okay, so can you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1478.99,"endTime":1483.34,"body":"talk to me about a boy who likes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1483.34,"endTime":1486.1,"body":"himself as body confidence and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1483.34,"endTime":1486.1,"body":"what you found there?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1486.25,"endTime":1490.78,"body":"Yes. So body confidence, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1486.25,"endTime":1490.78,"body":"poor body image used to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.78,"endTime":1493.87,"body":"something that only girl parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.78,"endTime":1493.87,"body":"had to worry about. That was one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1493.87,"endTime":1496.12,"body":"of the parents where they felt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1493.87,"endTime":1496.12,"body":"they're off the book on this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1496.12,"endTime":1500.7099999999998,"body":"one. That is not the case"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1496.12,"endTime":1500.7099999999998,"body":"anymore. Okay. Now, the research"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1500.74,"endTime":1504.73,"body":"bears this out. Eating disorders"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1500.74,"endTime":1504.73,"body":"in boys are on the rise, body"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1504.76,"endTime":1508.9299999999998,"body":"dysmorphia. And just general"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1504.76,"endTime":1508.9299999999998,"body":"dissatisfaction with their body"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1509.1399999999999,"endTime":1515.05,"body":"is a major issue for boys. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1509.1399999999999,"endTime":1515.05,"body":"we know that eating disorders,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1515.11,"endTime":1519.1599999999999,"body":"they absolutely destroy lives."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1515.11,"endTime":1519.1599999999999,"body":"Okay, one in 10 people who get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.1599999999999,"endTime":1522.25,"body":"an eating disorders who get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.1599999999999,"endTime":1522.25,"body":"anorexia is going to die from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1522.25,"endTime":1526.99,"body":"it. 50% of people who have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1522.25,"endTime":1526.99,"body":"binge eating disorder on male"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.6699999999998,"endTime":1532.27,"body":"body image, and eating disorders"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.6699999999998,"endTime":1532.27,"body":"are something that we all have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1532.27,"endTime":1535.75,"body":"to worry about. But what is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1532.27,"endTime":1535.75,"body":"happening with boys is it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1535.75,"endTime":1538.9599999999998,"body":"flying under the radar. For a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1535.75,"endTime":1538.9599999999998,"body":"couple of reasons. One, we think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1538.9599999999998,"endTime":1542.6499999999999,"body":"it's a girl problem, too. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1538.9599999999998,"endTime":1542.6499999999999,"body":"think boys can handle it. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.6499999999999,"endTime":1546.73,"body":"much so that we joke about boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.6499999999999,"endTime":1546.73,"body":"bodies. We joke about men's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.73,"endTime":1549.85,"body":"bodies, you know, the adult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.73,"endTime":1549.85,"body":"version is the dad bod. Hahaha,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1549.8799999999999,"endTime":1555.1,"body":"right? We comment more on boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1549.8799999999999,"endTime":1555.1,"body":"bodies and joke about it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1555.31,"endTime":1558.28,"body":"Whereas most women now know that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1555.31,"endTime":1558.28,"body":"you don't tease a girl for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1558.28,"endTime":1562.8999999999999,"body":"size of it size, right? Or is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1558.28,"endTime":1562.8999999999999,"body":"it? Boy, it's still okay to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1562.8999999999999,"endTime":1566.77,"body":"tease him. He looks Carrot Top"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1562.8999999999999,"endTime":1566.77,"body":"freckle face."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1566.8,"endTime":1569.1999999999998,"body":"Yes, so true. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1569.1989999999998,"endTime":1573.009,"body":"medical profession has not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1569.1989999999998,"endTime":1573.009,"body":"caught up. So if a boy goes to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.009,"endTime":1577.089,"body":"the doctor with the early signs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.009,"endTime":1577.089,"body":"of an eating disorder, or body"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1577.089,"endTime":1581.379,"body":"dysmorphia adopted, may not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1577.089,"endTime":1581.379,"body":"diagnose it may not look there,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.379,"endTime":1584.619,"body":"right. Whereas girls were more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.379,"endTime":1584.619,"body":"aware of it. So we look at it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1584.619,"endTime":1588.639,"body":"So that means that little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1584.619,"endTime":1588.639,"body":"problems are not diagnosed until"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1588.639,"endTime":1592.6589999999999,"body":"their big problems. And just as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1588.639,"endTime":1592.6589999999999,"body":"parents were just not as aware,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1592.6589999999999,"endTime":1596.9489999999998,"body":"and a really good example of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1592.6589999999999,"endTime":1596.9489999999998,"body":"that is toys. So we as a society"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1596.9489999999998,"endTime":1601.119,"body":"have debated whether or not we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1596.9489999999998,"endTime":1601.119,"body":"give a girl a doll with an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1601.119,"endTime":1605.019,"body":"unrealistic body shape, whether"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1601.119,"endTime":1605.019,"body":"the answer is yes or no, we both"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1605.019,"endTime":1609.309,"body":"thought about it. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1605.019,"endTime":1609.309,"body":"if you do, maybe you have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1609.309,"endTime":1612.009,"body":"conversation about you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1609.309,"endTime":1612.009,"body":"isn't it funny how she couldn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1612.009,"endTime":1618.099,"body":"stand up in real life, you know."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1612.009,"endTime":1618.099,"body":"But with boys will give boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.099,"endTime":1623.019,"body":"Batman, and he Man and Captain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.099,"endTime":1623.019,"body":"America, we won't even get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1623.079,"endTime":1626.619,"body":"there, those body types are just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1623.079,"endTime":1626.619,"body":"as unrealistic and just as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1626.619,"endTime":1631.7489999999998,"body":"unattainable. And so all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1626.619,"endTime":1631.7489999999998,"body":"work that girl moms do about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1631.779,"endTime":1635.289,"body":"building body confidence in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1631.779,"endTime":1635.289,"body":"girls, we need to do that for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1635.289,"endTime":1638.2289999999998,"body":"boys. And we need to lay that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1635.289,"endTime":1638.2289999999998,"body":"foundation early. So they've got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.2289999999998,"endTime":1642.879,"body":"a strong enough Foundation, when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.2289999999998,"endTime":1642.879,"body":"they're teenagers, and they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1642.9089999999999,"endTime":1647.799,"body":"absolutely bombarded with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1642.9089999999999,"endTime":1647.799,"body":"unhealthy messages on social"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1647.799,"endTime":1652.9289999999999,"body":"media, or the six packs, or the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1647.799,"endTime":1652.9289999999999,"body":"reality TV shows with these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1652.9289999999999,"endTime":1655.869,"body":"bodies that you know, you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1652.9289999999999,"endTime":1655.869,"body":"to be born a genetic freak to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1655.869,"endTime":1656.6789999999999,"body":"have one."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1657.4589999999998,"endTime":1660.069,"body":"It's very interesting that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1657.4589999999998,"endTime":1660.069,"body":"you're mentioning this because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.069,"endTime":1664.329,"body":"am saying and I noticed actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.069,"endTime":1664.329,"body":"in it, it's almost like it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1664.359,"endTime":1668.1689999999999,"body":"difficult one because it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1664.359,"endTime":1668.1689999999999,"body":"manifests for some boys in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1668.559,"endTime":1672.4889999999998,"body":"behaviours and activities that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1668.559,"endTime":1672.4889999999998,"body":"would look healthy. So I haven't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.4889999999998,"endTime":1675.069,"body":"saying all these boys going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.4889999999998,"endTime":1675.069,"body":"the gym after school, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1675.069,"endTime":1677.4689999999998,"body":"they're working on their six"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1675.069,"endTime":1677.4689999999998,"body":"pack and their biceps. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1677.4689999999998,"endTime":1682.119,"body":"like, at what point as a parent,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1677.4689999999998,"endTime":1682.119,"body":"do you, you know, does a healthy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1682.119,"endTime":1685.6589999999999,"body":"thing become something worth"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1682.119,"endTime":1685.6589999999999,"body":"paying attention to? And I'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.6589999999999,"endTime":1687.609,"body":"love to know if you had any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.6589999999999,"endTime":1687.609,"body":"research on that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.85,"endTime":1691.36,"body":"So we do that is another reason"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.85,"endTime":1691.36,"body":"I'm really glad you brought it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1691.36,"endTime":1697.99,"body":"up. Because we as a society, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1691.36,"endTime":1697.99,"body":"we value the healthy lifestyle,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1697.99,"endTime":1702.01,"body":"we value exercise, exercise"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1697.99,"endTime":1702.01,"body":"addiction is still an addiction,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.01,"endTime":1706.3,"body":"right? Yeah. Even though it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.01,"endTime":1706.3,"body":"the socially acceptable one. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.3,"endTime":1710.32,"body":"was often the warning signs, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.3,"endTime":1710.32,"body":"don't see, you know, like, maybe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1710.32,"endTime":1715.6299999999999,"body":"they're just suddenly eating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1710.32,"endTime":1715.6299999999999,"body":"healthy. Grey, right, yeah. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1715.6299999999999,"endTime":1719.23,"body":"you know, if that's if he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1715.6299999999999,"endTime":1719.23,"body":"becomes very fixated on what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1719.23,"endTime":1724.06,"body":"he's eating, if he is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1719.23,"endTime":1724.06,"body":"concentrating on and focusing on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1724.06,"endTime":1728.3799999999999,"body":"his exercise at the expense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1724.06,"endTime":1728.3799999999999,"body":"other things, then that's when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1728.3799999999999,"endTime":1731.1399999999999,"body":"we become concerned, it's about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1728.3799999999999,"endTime":1731.1399999999999,"body":"balance. If it fits within a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1731.1399999999999,"endTime":1734.83,"body":"balanced life, then great, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1731.1399999999999,"endTime":1734.83,"body":"know, encourage exercise, for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1734.83,"endTime":1737.9499999999998,"body":"the fun of exercise. That's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1734.83,"endTime":1737.9499999999998,"body":"message we want to give to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1737.9499999999998,"endTime":1741.31,"body":"girls. It's the same message we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1737.9499999999998,"endTime":1741.31,"body":"give to boys, we do it because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1741.31,"endTime":1744.73,"body":"it's fun to move your body, not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1741.31,"endTime":1744.73,"body":"because you have to try and fix"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1744.73,"endTime":1745.84,"body":"the body. That's wrong."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1746.35,"endTime":1750.6999999999998,"body":"Yeah, that is so good. I love it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1746.35,"endTime":1750.6999999999998,"body":"so much. And I think you've sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1750.6999999999998,"endTime":1753.01,"body":"of you've you've covered"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1750.6999999999998,"endTime":1753.01,"body":"balance, and that it's great."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1753.01,"endTime":1756.8799999999999,"body":"These all really are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1753.01,"endTime":1756.8799999999999,"body":"interconnected. So balance, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1756.8799999999999,"endTime":1759.85,"body":"I'm sure this like what you just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1756.8799999999999,"endTime":1759.85,"body":"said with the gym. It's all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1759.85,"endTime":1763.9599999999998,"body":"about balance. Yes. What was in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1759.85,"endTime":1763.9599999999998,"body":"the research about boys, boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1763.9599999999998,"endTime":1764.77,"body":"and balance."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1764.83,"endTime":1768.6699999999998,"body":"Okay, so one thing I really want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1764.83,"endTime":1768.6699999999998,"body":"to talk about is screens and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1768.6699999999998,"endTime":1773.8,"body":"voice. Yeah. And because Chris"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1768.6699999999998,"endTime":1773.8,"body":"and I have a controversial view,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1773.8,"endTime":1778.3,"body":"but we also have a view that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1773.8,"endTime":1778.3,"body":"based on evidence, we are much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1778.3,"endTime":1782.32,"body":"time rolling through the actual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1778.3,"endTime":1782.32,"body":"studies and what they actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.32,"endTime":1785.9499999999998,"body":"say, rather than the headlines"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.32,"endTime":1785.9499999999998,"body":"that make every parent freak out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1785.9499999999998,"endTime":1789.6699999999998,"body":"and feel guilty, okay. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1785.9499999999998,"endTime":1789.6699999999998,"body":"reason I'm talking about screens"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1789.73,"endTime":1794.8,"body":"in balance, is that a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1789.73,"endTime":1794.8,"body":"parents are so scared about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1794.8,"endTime":1798.4599999999998,"body":"their boy being on screens, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1794.8,"endTime":1798.4599999999998,"body":"they overscheduled their boy,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.9699999999998,"endTime":1802.33,"body":"they shedule him into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.9699999999998,"endTime":1802.33,"body":"extracurricular activities. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.33,"endTime":1806.7099999999998,"body":"shedule him into tutoring. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.33,"endTime":1806.7099999999998,"body":"just keep him away from the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.7099999999998,"endTime":1810.34,"body":"screen because they think that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.7099999999998,"endTime":1810.34,"body":"better. But what is happening"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1810.37,"endTime":1815.05,"body":"is, he's overscheduled he's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1810.37,"endTime":1815.05,"body":"tired, and he doesn't have time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.05,"endTime":1819.82,"body":"to play. Okay, so play is so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.05,"endTime":1819.82,"body":"important. And in an ideal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1819.82,"endTime":1823.84,"body":"world, all our kids would be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1819.82,"endTime":1823.84,"body":"outside playing right. Climbing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1823.84,"endTime":1827.1699999999998,"body":"trees. Yeah, that's the world we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1823.84,"endTime":1827.1699999999998,"body":"live in anymore. And while we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1827.1699999999998,"endTime":1833.08,"body":"should encourage outdoor play as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1827.1699999999998,"endTime":1833.08,"body":"much as we can, in reality, play"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1833.1699999999998,"endTime":1838.6,"body":"real play is a lot of it has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1833.1699999999998,"endTime":1838.6,"body":"moved online. Yeah, we were kids"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.6899999999998,"endTime":1842.08,"body":"and we went outside to play. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.6899999999998,"endTime":1842.08,"body":"didn't want to go outside"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.08,"endTime":1845.11,"body":"because we love nature. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.08,"endTime":1845.11,"body":"wanted to go outside because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.11,"endTime":1848.86,"body":"that's where the kids were The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.11,"endTime":1848.86,"body":"kids aren't there anymore. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.86,"endTime":1851.3799999999999,"body":"you just kick your boy out on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.86,"endTime":1851.3799999999999,"body":"the string, say go and play."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.3799999999999,"endTime":1856.7199999999998,"body":"He's there by himself, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.3799999999999,"endTime":1856.7199999999998,"body":"Only Yeah, the boys are online."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1857.8,"endTime":1862.84,"body":"And so the good news about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1857.8,"endTime":1862.84,"body":"research is that real play, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.84,"endTime":1866.26,"body":"this is child led, where they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.84,"endTime":1866.26,"body":"make their own decisions, where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.26,"endTime":1869.77,"body":"they're creative, where they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.26,"endTime":1869.77,"body":"have to negotiate with friends,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.8899999999999,"endTime":1873.6699999999998,"body":"learn all those really important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.8899999999999,"endTime":1873.6699999999998,"body":"social skills. That happening"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.6699999999998,"endTime":1878.1999999999998,"body":"online is just as effective as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.6699999999998,"endTime":1878.1999999999998,"body":"it happening outside in a park."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1878.26,"endTime":1882.04,"body":"Okay, so you don't have to feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1878.26,"endTime":1882.04,"body":"bad about your boy playing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1882.1,"endTime":1887.59,"body":"online. In fact, it's good for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1882.1,"endTime":1887.59,"body":"him. Yeah. Wow. We're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1887.7099999999998,"endTime":1891.73,"body":"I'm jumping ahead to another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1887.7099999999998,"endTime":1891.73,"body":"pillar about friendships. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1893.11,"endTime":1899.4699999999998,"body":"online games is where boys make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1893.11,"endTime":1899.4699999999998,"body":"and deepen their friendships."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1899.6799999999998,"endTime":1902.98,"body":"Yeah, have you are not letting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1899.6799999999998,"endTime":1902.98,"body":"your boy play games because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.98,"endTime":1905.8,"body":"you're worried about what it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.98,"endTime":1905.8,"body":"going to do to his brain, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.28,"endTime":1911.3799999999999,"body":"is not based on evidence, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.28,"endTime":1911.3799999999999,"body":"evidence is not in. Evidence is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1911.3799999999999,"endTime":1914.8,"body":"in that if you withdraw him from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1911.3799999999999,"endTime":1914.8,"body":"his next social network, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1914.8,"endTime":1917.1999999999998,"body":"he's got no friends, and he goes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1914.8,"endTime":1917.1999999999998,"body":"to school the next day, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1917.1999999999998,"endTime":1919.6899999999998,"body":"everyone's talking about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1917.1999999999998,"endTime":1919.6899999999998,"body":"game that he's never even heard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1919.6899999999998,"endTime":1923.29,"body":"of the research is in about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1919.6899999999998,"endTime":1923.29,"body":"social isolation and the damage"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1923.29,"endTime":1926.1999999999998,"body":"that that does to his mental"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1923.29,"endTime":1926.1999999999998,"body":"health, and his academic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1926.1999999999998,"endTime":1927.01,"body":"performance."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1927.399,"endTime":1931.299,"body":"Wow, absolutely. And loneliness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1927.399,"endTime":1931.299,"body":"is a killer for boys. So that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1931.809,"endTime":1932.9789999999998,"body":"very interesting."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1933.01,"endTime":1935.29,"body":"So we'll get to loneliness. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1933.01,"endTime":1935.29,"body":"wanted to I do want to talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1935.29,"endTime":1940.81,"body":"about that. But screens, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1935.29,"endTime":1940.81,"body":"where the boys are. And if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.81,"endTime":1943.12,"body":"that's where your boys friends,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.81,"endTime":1943.12,"body":"aren't, your boy needs to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1943.12,"endTime":1946.99,"body":"there. And so yes, you do need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1943.12,"endTime":1946.99,"body":"to worry about safety. You do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.99,"endTime":1950.1399999999999,"body":"need to worry about the kinds of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.99,"endTime":1950.1399999999999,"body":"games he is playing. But they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.1399999999999,"endTime":1953.9199999999998,"body":"are parenting issues. They are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.1399999999999,"endTime":1953.9199999999998,"body":"not screen issues, right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1955.03,"endTime":1958.78,"body":"I love the distinction there."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1955.03,"endTime":1958.78,"body":"And actually something that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1959.1699999999998,"endTime":1964.1499999999999,"body":"brings up in my mind when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1959.1699999999998,"endTime":1964.1499999999999,"body":"think boys screens play great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.3,"endTime":1969.1899999999998,"body":"porn. That's always a concern as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.3,"endTime":1969.1899999999998,"body":"well. And I wonder if that came"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1969.1899999999998,"endTime":1971.6799999999998,"body":"out in your research when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1969.1899999999998,"endTime":1971.6799999999998,"body":"looking at Boys and the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1971.6799999999998,"endTime":1974.86,"body":"they're using screens? Yep. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1971.6799999999998,"endTime":1974.86,"body":"I wonder if parents have had any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1974.86,"endTime":1976.6899999999998,"body":"concerns there too, for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1976.6889999999999,"endTime":1981.519,"body":"sure. And so we talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1976.6889999999999,"endTime":1981.519,"body":"specifically about porn. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.519,"endTime":1986.349,"body":"issue, the reality is, the porn"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.519,"endTime":1986.349,"body":"avalanche isn't coming. It is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.349,"endTime":1990.129,"body":"here, it doesn't matter how old"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.349,"endTime":1990.129,"body":"your boy is, he is at risk of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1990.129,"endTime":1994.599,"body":"seeing. And that that is bad for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1990.129,"endTime":1994.599,"body":"him. Right? What, again, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1994.599,"endTime":1997.4789999999998,"body":"parenting issues, we need to put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1994.599,"endTime":1997.4789999999998,"body":"the controls on our boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.4789999999998,"endTime":2001.649,"body":"computers to limit the risk of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.4789999999998,"endTime":2001.649,"body":"him seeing it, but it is going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.649,"endTime":2004.4689999999998,"body":"to see it he's going to be at a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.649,"endTime":2004.4689999999998,"body":"friend's house, there's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2004.4689999999998,"endTime":2007.079,"body":"be something that gets through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2004.4689999999998,"endTime":2007.079,"body":"your parental controls, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2007.4989999999998,"endTime":2012.809,"body":"So how we have to deal with porn"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2007.4989999999998,"endTime":2012.809,"body":"is open the conversation about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2012.809,"endTime":2017.759,"body":"these topics immediately. Don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2012.809,"endTime":2017.759,"body":"wait to have the talk. Okay? You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2017.759,"endTime":2021.6889999999999,"body":"start essentially preparing the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2017.759,"endTime":2021.6889999999999,"body":"ground for the porn"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2021.6889999999999,"endTime":2025.109,"body":"conversations as soon as your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2021.6889999999999,"endTime":2025.109,"body":"boy is born. And the way you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2025.109,"endTime":2028.349,"body":"that to start with is you use"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2025.109,"endTime":2028.349,"body":"correct terminology for body"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2028.349,"endTime":2032.2489999999998,"body":"parts. The research also shows"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2028.349,"endTime":2032.2489999999998,"body":"that that is a protect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2032.309,"endTime":2035.4889999999998,"body":"protective for kids. Some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2032.309,"endTime":2035.4889999999998,"body":"paedophiles target kids who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2035.4889999999998,"endTime":2038.399,"body":"don't know the correct name for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2035.4889999999998,"endTime":2038.399,"body":"body parts, right? Because they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2038.399,"endTime":2042.059,"body":"assume and often rightly, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2038.399,"endTime":2042.059,"body":"that their parents haven't had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2042.059,"endTime":2044.7289999999998,"body":"those conversations. So they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2042.059,"endTime":2044.7289999999998,"body":"don't have the same level of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2044.7289999999998,"endTime":2049.859,"body":"body awareness. Okay. And also,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2044.7289999999998,"endTime":2049.859,"body":"a boy can't have a conversation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2049.859,"endTime":2054.719,"body":"with you about how he bought his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2049.859,"endTime":2054.719,"body":"body, other people's bodies, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2054.719,"endTime":2058.469,"body":"he's ashamed. And he's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2054.719,"endTime":2058.469,"body":"be ashamed if he feels like he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2058.469,"endTime":2061.739,"body":"can't even use the correct name"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2058.469,"endTime":2061.739,"body":"for his body. Like it's so bad."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2061.739,"endTime":2065.009,"body":"I can't even call it a penis."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2061.739,"endTime":2065.009,"body":"It's down there or whatever,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2065.009,"endTime":2069.029,"body":"right? Yeah, who's your boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2065.009,"endTime":2069.029,"body":"born us correct. terminology."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2069.179,"endTime":2072.149,"body":"That's also good for us. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2069.179,"endTime":2072.149,"body":"it's hard. As a parent, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2072.149,"endTime":2077.609,"body":"really hard to talk to your boy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2072.149,"endTime":2077.609,"body":"about sex and porn, right? But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2077.639,"endTime":2080.5190000000002,"body":"when you say it's also hard to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2077.639,"endTime":2080.5190000000002,"body":"use correct body parts, right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2080.579,"endTime":2084.239,"body":"names. But when you do it, when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2080.579,"endTime":2084.239,"body":"he's a baby, he doesn't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2084.239,"endTime":2088.7690000000002,"body":"you're nervous. Festival. So you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2084.239,"endTime":2088.7690000000002,"body":"get years of practice, and you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2088.7690000000002,"endTime":2093.299,"body":"get better at it. Yeah. And you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2088.7690000000002,"endTime":2093.299,"body":"start incorporating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2093.329,"endTime":2097.6189999999997,"body":"conversations just into everyday"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2093.329,"endTime":2097.6189999999997,"body":"life. And an example of that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2097.6189999999997,"endTime":2101.489,"body":"at bath time, your boys running"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2097.6189999999997,"endTime":2101.489,"body":"around naked. And you say to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2101.489,"endTime":2104.999,"body":"him, it's fine to run around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2101.489,"endTime":2104.999,"body":"naked in the house, no problem"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2104.999,"endTime":2108.449,"body":"at all. But we don't run around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2104.999,"endTime":2108.449,"body":"naked at other people's houses."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2108.779,"endTime":2111.989,"body":"And also we don't we're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2108.779,"endTime":2111.989,"body":"naked on the screen. So when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2111.989,"endTime":2115.499,"body":"you're on FaceTime, you always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2111.989,"endTime":2115.499,"body":"have to have clothes on. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.499,"endTime":2119.669,"body":"the rule. And if you see anyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.499,"endTime":2119.669,"body":"else online with no clothes on,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2119.729,"endTime":2123.089,"body":"just come and tell me you won't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2119.729,"endTime":2123.089,"body":"be in trouble. I just need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2123.089,"endTime":2130.6189999999997,"body":"know. Ego, this your first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2123.089,"endTime":2130.6189999999997,"body":"opening to talk about porn. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2130.6189999999997,"endTime":2135.479,"body":"also recommend having puberty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2130.6189999999997,"endTime":2135.479,"body":"books on your bookshelf. Next to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2135.479,"endTime":2140.519,"body":"Maisie the mouse and any other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2135.479,"endTime":2140.519,"body":"books that your kids because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2141.269,"endTime":2146.069,"body":"they it's just information for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2141.269,"endTime":2146.069,"body":"kids, right? And so if your boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2146.0989999999997,"endTime":2148.439,"body":"For and he's flicking through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2146.0989999999997,"endTime":2148.439,"body":"and he sees a picture of a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.439,"endTime":2154.0789999999997,"body":"vagina, tell him about it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.439,"endTime":2154.0789999999997,"body":"There's no reason to keep our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2154.0789999999997,"endTime":2158.549,"body":"kids ignorant of this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2154.0789999999997,"endTime":2158.549,"body":"information. So people used to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2158.549,"endTime":2162.719,"body":"fear that if kids knew about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2158.549,"endTime":2162.719,"body":"sex, they would do it earlier,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2162.929,"endTime":2165.989,"body":"and they would be more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2162.929,"endTime":2165.989,"body":"promiscuous and unsafe. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2165.989,"endTime":2169.6189999999997,"body":"research is very clear, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2165.989,"endTime":2169.6189999999997,"body":"opposite is true. If you are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2169.6189999999997,"endTime":2172.919,"body":"having open conversations with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2169.6189999999997,"endTime":2172.919,"body":"your kid about sex, if he knows"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.919,"endTime":2175.949,"body":"how it worked, he knows how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.919,"endTime":2175.949,"body":"be safe. He's going to have it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2175.949,"endTime":2180.089,"body":"later. And he's going to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2175.949,"endTime":2180.089,"body":"safer. Only good things come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2180.1189999999997,"endTime":2186.089,"body":"with empower our empowering our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2180.1189999999997,"endTime":2186.089,"body":"boys with information, and have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2186.089,"endTime":2189.209,"body":"the puberty book about girls"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2186.089,"endTime":2189.209,"body":"bodies as well as boys bodies."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2189.359,"endTime":2192.8689999999997,"body":"It is not helpful to keep your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2189.359,"endTime":2192.8689999999997,"body":"boys ignorant of how the bodies"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2192.899,"endTime":2196.529,"body":"of half the population work."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2192.899,"endTime":2196.529,"body":"Yeah, don't need to hide your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2196.529,"endTime":2201.8089999999997,"body":"period products. Let him know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2196.529,"endTime":2201.8089999999997,"body":"about periods. Yeah, ignorance"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2201.839,"endTime":2205.679,"body":"that creates the problem. And if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2201.839,"endTime":2205.679,"body":"you have open dialogue, when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2205.679,"endTime":2209.009,"body":"your boy is young, you can have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2205.679,"endTime":2209.009,"body":"open dialogue when he's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2209.009,"endTime":2213.509,"body":"teenager. And I'm seeing this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2209.009,"endTime":2213.509,"body":"now my daughter's fifth 14. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2213.509,"endTime":2217.379,"body":"some of the questions that she's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2213.509,"endTime":2217.379,"body":"coming home with. I'm so glad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2217.379,"endTime":2221.159,"body":"you're asking me this because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2217.379,"endTime":2221.159,"body":"what Chantelle told you in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2221.159,"endTime":2224.129,"body":"bathroom? is not right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2224.5499999999997,"endTime":2228.69,"body":"Yeah. That's incredible. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2224.5499999999997,"endTime":2228.69,"body":"that's kudos to like to you for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2228.69,"endTime":2230.04,"body":"putting in the work Young."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2230.46,"endTime":2233.61,"body":"That's right. And it's the work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2230.46,"endTime":2233.61,"body":"is the relationship."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2233.7,"endTime":2237.24,"body":"Yeah, yeah. And I actually as he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2233.7,"endTime":2237.24,"body":"was speaking about that, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2237.24,"endTime":2239.85,"body":"know, the boys running around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2237.24,"endTime":2239.85,"body":"having a bath and their Willie's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2239.85,"endTime":2243.0,"body":"are out or their penises are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2239.85,"endTime":2243.0,"body":"out, I should say. It's, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2243.0,"endTime":2246.24,"body":"seeing parallels where it could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2243.0,"endTime":2246.24,"body":"be quite easy to and I've heard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2246.24,"endTime":2247.92,"body":"this from parents, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2246.24,"endTime":2247.92,"body":"they're always playing with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2247.92,"endTime":2250.14,"body":"themselves. And it's like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2247.92,"endTime":2250.14,"body":"stop playing with yourself. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2250.14,"endTime":2253.08,"body":"it's like, shame. You could very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2250.14,"endTime":2253.08,"body":"quickly shame boys, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2253.08,"endTime":2256.29,"body":"what a lot of girls have, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2253.08,"endTime":2256.29,"body":"know, experienced and that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2256.29,"endTime":2259.74,"body":"perpetuating this taboo. I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2256.29,"endTime":2259.74,"body":"know who to speak to, I guess"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2259.74,"endTime":2260.73,"body":"I'll learn on porn."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2261.15,"endTime":2267.12,"body":"Yeah, that's right. And so I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2261.15,"endTime":2267.12,"body":"interviewed a maternal health"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.12,"endTime":2271.35,"body":"nurse, and sex ed teacher, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.12,"endTime":2271.35,"body":"goes into schools. And she told"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2271.35,"endTime":2276.87,"body":"me, she's talks to teenage boys."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2271.35,"endTime":2276.87,"body":"And she said, they are genuinely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2276.87,"endTime":2280.77,"body":"shocked when she tells them that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2276.87,"endTime":2280.77,"body":"girls don't like it. When you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2280.77,"endTime":2285.81,"body":"say Suck my cock bitch. The boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2280.77,"endTime":2285.81,"body":"don't know that girls don't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2285.81,"endTime":2287.61,"body":"it. Because when they see that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2285.81,"endTime":2287.61,"body":"on porn,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2288.33,"endTime":2291.5099999999998,"body":"chicks love that. Yeah. Wow."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2291.66,"endTime":2295.14,"body":"And it's like, wow, no one has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2291.66,"endTime":2295.14,"body":"had that conversation with those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2295.14,"endTime":2298.68,"body":"boys. And I had a situation with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2295.14,"endTime":2298.68,"body":"my daughter just the other day,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2298.68,"endTime":2302.49,"body":"one of her friends, a boy who's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2298.68,"endTime":2302.49,"body":"also one of her friends asked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2302.49,"endTime":2308.58,"body":"the girl to send her send him a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2302.49,"endTime":2308.58,"body":"nude of her. Yeah. And so my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2308.58,"endTime":2311.37,"body":"daughter was very proud"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2308.58,"endTime":2311.37,"body":"intervened in that situation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2311.37,"endTime":2314.0099999999998,"body":"And she said to the boy, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2311.37,"endTime":2314.0099999999998,"body":"know, that's sexist. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2314.0099999999998,"endTime":2317.31,"body":"illegal. What are you doing? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2314.0099999999998,"endTime":2317.31,"body":"the boy said, and I actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2317.31,"endTime":2321.8399999999997,"body":"believe in because he's a nice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2317.31,"endTime":2321.8399999999997,"body":"kid. He said, I didn't know. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.8399999999997,"endTime":2323.67,"body":"just thought that's what boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.8399999999997,"endTime":2323.67,"body":"did."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2324.12,"endTime":2327.8399999999997,"body":"Wow. Yeah. So common. I had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2324.12,"endTime":2327.8399999999997,"body":"deal with that quite a lot. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2327.8399999999997,"endTime":2331.38,"body":"the and the fallout of that when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2327.8399999999997,"endTime":2331.38,"body":"things are leaked, and when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2331.38,"endTime":2334.14,"body":"girls have been embarrassed and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2331.38,"endTime":2334.14,"body":"when it's been passed around,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2334.14,"endTime":2338.2799999999997,"body":"and that's at a young age. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2334.14,"endTime":2338.2799999999997,"body":"then if these, like what that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2338.2799999999997,"endTime":2341.52,"body":"must do to marriages later, when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2338.2799999999997,"endTime":2341.52,"body":"we've got a generation of boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2341.52,"endTime":2343.2,"body":"going what you didn't like that?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2343.439,"endTime":2349.3489999999997,"body":"Yes. And stories about really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2343.439,"endTime":2349.3489999999997,"body":"young teenagers, boys asking for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2349.3489999999997,"endTime":2353.3089999999997,"body":"blow jobs, and girls giving it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2349.3489999999997,"endTime":2353.3089999999997,"body":"the girls, because they think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2353.3089999999997,"endTime":2356.549,"body":"that's what girls do. And boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2353.3089999999997,"endTime":2356.549,"body":"asked for it, even though they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2356.549,"endTime":2360.5389999999998,"body":"don't want to because it's kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2356.549,"endTime":2360.5389999999998,"body":"of gross at 14 I think a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2360.5389999999998,"endTime":2363.5389999999998,"body":"them right. They're not into it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2360.5389999999998,"endTime":2363.5389999999998,"body":"but asking for blow jobs,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2363.5389999999998,"endTime":2367.499,"body":"because that's what boys do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2363.5389999999998,"endTime":2367.499,"body":"Yeah, only way you can protect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2367.499,"endTime":2372.5989999999997,"body":"your son from that is by talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2367.499,"endTime":2372.5989999999997,"body":"to him openly about porn, about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2372.5989999999997,"endTime":2377.129,"body":"sex, about relationships, about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2372.5989999999997,"endTime":2377.129,"body":"mutual respect."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2377.16,"endTime":2380.49,"body":"Yeah. And I guess that again,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2377.16,"endTime":2380.49,"body":"with that conversation, there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2380.49,"endTime":2383.2799999999997,"body":"comes more of that emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2380.49,"endTime":2383.2799999999997,"body":"maturity and the and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2383.49,"endTime":2386.94,"body":"articulation of how they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2383.49,"endTime":2386.94,"body":"feeling and all of those things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2386.94,"endTime":2388.5299999999997,"body":"that helped with the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2386.94,"endTime":2388.5299999999997,"body":"pillars."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2388.68,"endTime":2391.5,"body":"That's right. So just jumping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2388.68,"endTime":2391.5,"body":"ahead on CES, I had this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2391.5,"endTime":2394.92,"body":"conversation just the other day"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2391.5,"endTime":2394.92,"body":"with my daughter. It was when do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2394.92,"endTime":2398.52,"body":"you When is it okay to have sex?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2394.92,"endTime":2398.52,"body":"And the answer is the same for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2398.52,"endTime":2403.02,"body":"boys and girls. That is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2398.52,"endTime":2403.02,"body":"wrong question. It's not the one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2403.02,"endTime":2408.0,"body":"that matters. It's the why. Why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2403.02,"endTime":2408.0,"body":"do you want to have sex? And if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2408.21,"endTime":2411.96,"body":"and if you can work through with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2408.21,"endTime":2411.96,"body":"your boy. What is the criteria"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2411.96,"endTime":2415.7999999999997,"body":"for his why, you know, when he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2411.96,"endTime":2415.7999999999997,"body":"feels ready, when she feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2415.7999999999997,"endTime":2420.7799999999997,"body":"ready? When it's it's safe, when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2415.7999999999997,"endTime":2420.7799999999997,"body":"they're both at an emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2420.7799999999997,"endTime":2427.92,"body":"point where they want to then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2420.7799999999997,"endTime":2427.92,"body":"okay, but arbitrary age, which I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2428.22,"endTime":2432.6,"body":"rebel against anyway, yeah. He"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2428.22,"endTime":2432.6,"body":"approaches it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2432.63,"endTime":2436.14,"body":"Yes. Or you know, when I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2432.63,"endTime":2436.14,"body":"look cool in front of my mates."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2436.89,"endTime":2440.22,"body":"Such a great conversation. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2436.89,"endTime":2440.22,"body":"love it so much. And the next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2440.22,"endTime":2443.31,"body":"pillar is all about mastery and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2440.22,"endTime":2443.31,"body":"independence, which is a really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2443.31,"endTime":2446.8199999999997,"body":"great chapter in the book I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2443.31,"endTime":2446.8199999999997,"body":"so much so can We talk a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2446.8199999999997,"endTime":2450.12,"body":"bit about mastery and how we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2446.8199999999997,"endTime":2450.12,"body":"actually help boys to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2450.12,"endTime":2451.95,"body":"mastery. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2451.95,"endTime":2456.72,"body":"the idea is that real self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2451.95,"endTime":2456.72,"body":"esteem does come from just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2456.72,"endTime":2459.21,"body":"telling your kid over and over"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2456.72,"endTime":2459.21,"body":"again that they're awesome,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2459.36,"endTime":2463.65,"body":"right? It, they don't believe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2459.36,"endTime":2463.65,"body":"you anyway. And often, it can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2463.65,"endTime":2467.04,"body":"make them feel more insecure,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2463.65,"endTime":2467.04,"body":"because they think I'm really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2467.04,"endTime":2469.5,"body":"good. But I actually really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2467.04,"endTime":2469.5,"body":"suck. And you you build the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2469.5,"endTime":2473.88,"body":"imposter syndrome, right? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2469.5,"endTime":2473.88,"body":"child will only believe that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2473.88,"endTime":2478.71,"body":"he's good. When he has done"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2473.88,"endTime":2478.71,"body":"things that he knows to be good."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2479.0699999999997,"endTime":2483.66,"body":"It is through his actions, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2479.0699999999997,"endTime":2483.66,"body":"his independence that makes him"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2483.66,"endTime":2490.5,"body":"feel worthy, capable person. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2483.66,"endTime":2490.5,"body":"so real self esteem comes from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2490.5,"endTime":2495.36,"body":"the idea of being able to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2490.5,"endTime":2495.36,"body":"life. And so you don't need a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2495.39,"endTime":2499.98,"body":"trophy, a cabinet full of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2495.39,"endTime":2499.98,"body":"trophies, or a pluses on report"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2499.98,"endTime":2504.0299999999997,"body":"cards, or, you know, being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2499.98,"endTime":2504.0299999999997,"body":"selected in the top rowing team"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2504.0299999999997,"endTime":2508.2599999999998,"body":"or the a or, or any football"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2504.0299999999997,"endTime":2508.2599999999998,"body":"team or whatever, comes from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2508.2599999999998,"endTime":2512.88,"body":"just feeling like you've got the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2508.2599999999998,"endTime":2512.88,"body":"skills to do life. And so a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2512.88,"endTime":2517.5899999999997,"body":"of the anxiety that we see in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2512.88,"endTime":2517.5899999999997,"body":"kids is just that they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2517.5899999999997,"endTime":2520.5,"body":"fearful that they can't cope"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2517.5899999999997,"endTime":2520.5,"body":"with something that hasn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2520.5,"endTime":2524.31,"body":"happened yet, right? That's what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2520.5,"endTime":2524.31,"body":"anxiety is. If you've raised"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2524.31,"endTime":2528.0899999999997,"body":"your boy to be able to do stuff,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2524.31,"endTime":2528.0899999999997,"body":"then he's not going to be so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2528.0899999999997,"endTime":2532.77,"body":"fearful about not being able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2528.0899999999997,"endTime":2532.77,"body":"cope, and stuff like speaking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2532.77,"endTime":2538.5,"body":"for himself. Alright, so create"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2532.77,"endTime":2538.5,"body":"opportunities for your boy to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2538.5,"endTime":2541.92,"body":"speak for himself, when you go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2538.5,"endTime":2541.92,"body":"to the doctor, get him to give"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2541.92,"endTime":2545.7599999999998,"body":"his name, when you're in a cafe,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2541.92,"endTime":2545.7599999999998,"body":"get into order for him himself."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2545.91,"endTime":2549.0299999999997,"body":"And I got some feedback from a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2545.91,"endTime":2549.0299999999997,"body":"mom, just the other day, her son"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2549.0299999999997,"endTime":2552.36,"body":"was really shy, and she could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2549.0299999999997,"endTime":2552.36,"body":"not get him to speak for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2552.36,"endTime":2555.7799999999997,"body":"himself. And this is worrying,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2552.36,"endTime":2555.7799999999997,"body":"because the research shows that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2555.7799999999997,"endTime":2558.18,"body":"kids speak for them and who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2555.7799999999997,"endTime":2558.18,"body":"speak for themselves, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2558.24,"endTime":2561.75,"body":"when they're young, they do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2558.24,"endTime":2561.75,"body":"better at school, academically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2561.75,"endTime":2565.5,"body":"and socially, right. So she was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2561.75,"endTime":2565.5,"body":"worried that she couldn't get a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2565.5,"endTime":2567.75,"body":"boy to speak for himself. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2565.5,"endTime":2567.75,"body":"said, Well, it's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2567.75,"endTime":2571.5299999999997,"body":"motivating to do it in a cafe."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2567.75,"endTime":2571.5299999999997,"body":"Because if he doesn't ask, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2571.5299999999997,"endTime":2577.02,"body":"doesn't get. She did that. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2571.5299999999997,"endTime":2577.02,"body":"after a few times, he just got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2577.02,"endTime":2580.5,"body":"so excited about it. And now he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2577.02,"endTime":2580.5,"body":"goes into cafes, and orders,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2580.5299999999997,"endTime":2584.43,"body":"even when they're not ordering"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2580.5299999999997,"endTime":2584.43,"body":"anything. Oh, so but then this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2584.43,"endTime":2590.1,"body":"is the key. And she said, and he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2584.43,"endTime":2590.1,"body":"is so proud, ah, that is self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2590.1,"endTime":2595.17,"body":"esteem, right? And we can't that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2590.1,"endTime":2595.17,"body":"pride, we can't give that to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2595.17,"endTime":2598.71,"body":"child, there is no way we can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2595.17,"endTime":2598.71,"body":"by it, we can't give it with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2598.71,"endTime":2603.06,"body":"words, it comes from within. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2598.71,"endTime":2603.06,"body":"so our job as parents is to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2603.06,"endTime":2606.48,"body":"create the opportunities for our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2603.06,"endTime":2606.48,"body":"boys to do things for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2606.48,"endTime":2610.08,"body":"themselves. So they can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2606.48,"endTime":2610.08,"body":"experience mastery. And so they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2610.08,"endTime":2613.95,"body":"can learn to believe in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2610.08,"endTime":2613.95,"body":"themselves. And it sounds really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2613.95,"endTime":2616.65,"body":"obvious, but it's often very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2613.95,"endTime":2616.65,"body":"difficult for parents to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2616.65,"endTime":2619.68,"body":"this, because there is so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2616.65,"endTime":2619.68,"body":"pressure, particularly on moms"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2619.68,"endTime":2623.52,"body":"to create the perfect childhood."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2619.68,"endTime":2623.52,"body":"So we don't know boys to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2623.52,"endTime":2626.4,"body":"struggle, because we feel like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2623.52,"endTime":2626.4,"body":"we're not being good enough moms"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2627.06,"endTime":2631.5899999999997,"body":"rush in and things or we, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2627.06,"endTime":2631.5899999999997,"body":"know, if our boy misses out on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2631.65,"endTime":2634.38,"body":"the invitation to the birthday"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2631.65,"endTime":2634.38,"body":"party, we want to ring up the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2634.38,"endTime":2640.38,"body":"other mum, or we'll pick up his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2634.38,"endTime":2640.38,"body":"dirty laundry, and rather than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2640.38,"endTime":2643.47,"body":"make him do it himself. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2640.38,"endTime":2643.47,"body":"there's all these things that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2643.47,"endTime":2646.14,"body":"do for our boys, particularly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2643.47,"endTime":2646.14,"body":"boys more than girls, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2646.14,"endTime":2649.68,"body":"research shows, particularly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2646.14,"endTime":2649.68,"body":"with domestic tasks, which means"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2649.71,"endTime":2654.27,"body":"we are denying them the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2649.71,"endTime":2654.27,"body":"opportunity to, first of all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2654.27,"endTime":2656.73,"body":"learn new skills. But what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2654.27,"endTime":2656.73,"body":"are also denying them the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2656.73,"endTime":2662.64,"body":"opportunity to do is struggle."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2656.73,"endTime":2662.64,"body":"And we know that the road to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2662.64,"endTime":2668.31,"body":"success, the road to self esteem"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2662.64,"endTime":2668.31,"body":"is paved with struggle and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2668.31,"endTime":2673.14,"body":"failure. And the most optimistic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2668.31,"endTime":2673.14,"body":"people are not the ones who've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2673.14,"endTime":2676.98,"body":"had an easy ride in life. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2673.14,"endTime":2676.98,"body":"are the ones who have struggled,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2677.3399999999997,"endTime":2681.93,"body":"because they know through their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2677.3399999999997,"endTime":2681.93,"body":"own experience, that they have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2681.93,"endTime":2686.16,"body":"the internal resources to cope"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2681.93,"endTime":2686.16,"body":"with struggle, triumph and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2686.16,"endTime":2686.94,"body":"succeed."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2688.11,"endTime":2691.77,"body":"That's incredible. And I suppose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2688.11,"endTime":2691.77,"body":"that's where it takes a lot of,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2692.1,"endTime":2695.61,"body":"again, work on the parents part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2692.1,"endTime":2695.61,"body":"because it's gonna make a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2695.61,"endTime":2698.0699999999997,"body":"the time I think it would be the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2695.61,"endTime":2698.0699999999997,"body":"easy option. Just I'll do it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2698.0699999999997,"endTime":2700.68,"body":"Don't worry, I'll do it. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2698.0699999999997,"endTime":2700.68,"body":"fine. And we go in and save"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2700.68,"endTime":2704.22,"body":"them. And I used to say this to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2700.68,"endTime":2704.22,"body":"begin beginning of year seven"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2704.22,"endTime":2706.68,"body":"beginning of high school, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2704.22,"endTime":2706.68,"body":"thinking alright, here comes my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2706.68,"endTime":2710.3399999999997,"body":"little teenagers. They've had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2706.68,"endTime":2710.3399999999997,"body":"their pencils labelled for them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2710.3399999999997,"endTime":2712.65,"body":"their schoolbooks labelled for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2710.3399999999997,"endTime":2712.65,"body":"them. Sometimes they're still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2712.65,"endTime":2715.35,"body":"getting parents walk up with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2712.65,"endTime":2715.35,"body":"their bags on the back and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2715.35,"endTime":2719.58,"body":"helping them to their locker and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2715.35,"endTime":2719.58,"body":"I'm thinking there's no struggle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2719.58,"endTime":2720.0899999999997,"body":"here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2720.15,"endTime":2724.14,"body":"Yes. Most kids are most likely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2720.15,"endTime":2724.14,"body":"that anxious kids. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2724.14,"endTime":2727.29,"body":"absolutely. Because they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2724.14,"endTime":2727.29,"body":"worried because they can't do it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2727.29,"endTime":2730.14,"body":"themselves because they've never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2727.29,"endTime":2730.14,"body":"been allowed to. So when you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2730.14,"endTime":2732.96,"body":"look at the kids who are anxious"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2730.14,"endTime":2732.96,"body":"about going to high school,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2733.08,"endTime":2736.2,"body":"they're not anxious about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2733.08,"endTime":2736.2,"body":"subjects, although they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2736.2,"endTime":2738.99,"body":"anxious because they don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2736.2,"endTime":2738.99,"body":"how to speak to each different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2738.99,"endTime":2741.39,"body":"teacher because they've never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2738.99,"endTime":2741.39,"body":"spoken for themselves. They're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2741.39,"endTime":2743.49,"body":"anxious because they don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2741.39,"endTime":2743.49,"body":"how to get their stuff out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2743.49,"endTime":2746.4,"body":"their locker and get to their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2743.49,"endTime":2746.4,"body":"classroom because they've Never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2746.4,"endTime":2748.92,"body":"been responsible for their own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2746.4,"endTime":2748.92,"body":"belongings, or they've never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2748.92,"endTime":2752.5499999999997,"body":"been required to navigate space"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2748.92,"endTime":2752.5499999999997,"body":"themselves. Because we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2753.0899999999997,"endTime":2753.87,"body":"everywhere."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2754.08,"endTime":2757.65,"body":"Yes. And I can see how this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2754.08,"endTime":2757.65,"body":"becomes a differentiating factor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2757.65,"endTime":2761.52,"body":"with all boys, boys. You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2757.65,"endTime":2761.52,"body":"we assume a lot of the time,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2761.73,"endTime":2765.36,"body":"boys are just useless with this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2761.73,"endTime":2765.36,"body":"stuff boys aren't organised, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2765.36,"endTime":2768.15,"body":"know. And there's these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2765.36,"endTime":2768.15,"body":"perpetuating, like prophecies"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2768.15,"endTime":2770.52,"body":"about boys. And it's, it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2768.15,"endTime":2770.52,"body":"make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2771.2999999999997,"endTime":2775.89,"body":"evidence No. To support the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2771.2999999999997,"endTime":2775.89,"body":"claim that boys are born with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2775.89,"endTime":2782.22,"body":"the useless brain. It's yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2775.89,"endTime":2782.22,"body":"brains are shaped by their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2782.22,"endTime":2787.56,"body":"environment, they are shaped by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2782.22,"endTime":2787.56,"body":"what we do, and do not do for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2787.56,"endTime":2791.19,"body":"our children. And when you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2787.56,"endTime":2791.19,"body":"expect your boy to take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2791.19,"endTime":2795.06,"body":"responsibility for his own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2791.19,"endTime":2795.06,"body":"belongings, he will like any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2795.06,"endTime":2798.63,"body":"parent whose child has got an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2795.06,"endTime":2798.63,"body":"iPhone? How many times has he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2798.63,"endTime":2805.71,"body":"lost it? Not many. Ah, so true."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2798.63,"endTime":2805.71,"body":"Always don't lose iPhones. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2805.71,"endTime":2810.63,"body":"if you if your brain can, make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2805.71,"endTime":2810.63,"body":"sure you remember your phone,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2811.2,"endTime":2815.5499999999997,"body":"you can remember your homework."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2811.2,"endTime":2815.5499999999997,"body":"Exactly. It's just a way to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2815.5499999999997,"endTime":2815.85,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2816.06,"endTime":2819.36,"body":"Yeah, that's incredible. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2816.06,"endTime":2819.36,"body":"it's holding a higher standard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2819.36,"endTime":2822.33,"body":"for them because you believe in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2819.36,"endTime":2822.33,"body":"them and, and that helps them to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2822.33,"endTime":2824.25,"body":"believe in themselves. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2822.33,"endTime":2824.25,"body":"right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2824.25,"endTime":2827.5499999999997,"body":"So every time we step in and do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2824.25,"endTime":2827.5499999999997,"body":"something for our boys, we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2827.5499999999997,"endTime":2832.3199999999997,"body":"saying you're not capable,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2827.5499999999997,"endTime":2832.3199999999997,"body":"you're robbing them of self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2832.3199999999997,"endTime":2834.96,"body":"esteem. Now look, there are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2832.3199999999997,"endTime":2834.96,"body":"times when we do need to step"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2834.96,"endTime":2838.2,"body":"in, of course, and it's all you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2834.96,"endTime":2838.2,"body":"know, age appropriate and baby"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2838.2,"endTime":2841.5,"body":"steps. But then general"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2838.2,"endTime":2841.5,"body":"principle is only do for your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2841.5,"endTime":2844.77,"body":"boy what he cannot do for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2841.5,"endTime":2844.77,"body":"himself. If he can't do it for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2844.77,"endTime":2846.7799999999997,"body":"himself, support him to do it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2847.68,"endTime":2850.95,"body":"I love it. These are so good."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2847.68,"endTime":2850.95,"body":"And then the final No, not the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2850.95,"endTime":2854.49,"body":"final one, six, we've jumped"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2850.95,"endTime":2854.49,"body":"around a little bit. A boy who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2854.49,"endTime":2856.95,"body":"likes himself has strong"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2854.49,"endTime":2856.95,"body":"relationships."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2858.06,"endTime":2861.0899999999997,"body":"Okay, so this one is really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2858.06,"endTime":2861.0899999999997,"body":"interesting, because we heard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2861.0899999999997,"endTime":2864.2999999999997,"body":"from a lot of parents who have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2861.0899999999997,"endTime":2864.2999999999997,"body":"boy and a girl. And they would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2864.2999999999997,"endTime":2867.48,"body":"say things like, Oh, my girls"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2864.2999999999997,"endTime":2867.48,"body":"friendships are drama, drama,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2867.48,"endTime":2871.11,"body":"drama, girls calm relationships"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2867.48,"endTime":2871.11,"body":"are so complicated. But boys,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2871.44,"endTime":2875.0099999999998,"body":"oh, it's easier there just take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2871.44,"endTime":2875.0099999999998,"body":"everything in their stride. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2875.19,"endTime":2877.62,"body":"if worse comes to worse, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2875.19,"endTime":2877.62,"body":"sorted out on the football"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2877.62,"endTime":2882.0299999999997,"body":"field. That is what we believe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2877.62,"endTime":2882.0299999999997,"body":"to be true. And it is completely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2882.0299999999997,"endTime":2888.5699999999997,"body":"false. Always. So friendship is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2882.0299999999997,"endTime":2888.5699999999997,"body":"actually a set of skills. And we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2888.5699999999997,"endTime":2891.66,"body":"know that the kids who have the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2888.5699999999997,"endTime":2891.66,"body":"best friends the best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2891.66,"endTime":2895.62,"body":"friendships are the kids who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2891.66,"endTime":2895.62,"body":"have the best friendship skills,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2896.25,"endTime":2899.85,"body":"and skills, friendships because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2896.25,"endTime":2899.85,"body":"like any skill, you learn them,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2899.91,"endTime":2902.2799999999997,"body":"like sure some people get a head"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2899.91,"endTime":2902.2799999999997,"body":"start because they're naturally"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2902.2799999999997,"endTime":2907.2,"body":"good at a particular. But they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2902.2799999999997,"endTime":2907.2,"body":"everyone needs help developing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2907.2,"endTime":2911.22,"body":"their fret skills and friendship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2907.2,"endTime":2911.22,"body":"skills is one of them. And we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2911.22,"endTime":2914.91,"body":"see that boys really suffer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2911.22,"endTime":2914.91,"body":"because of the myth that they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2914.91,"endTime":2919.44,"body":"don't need help. Okay. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2914.91,"endTime":2919.44,"body":"people will say that my son"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2919.44,"endTime":2923.37,"body":"never talks about it. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2919.44,"endTime":2923.37,"body":"not because he isn't struggling."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2923.52,"endTime":2926.88,"body":"It's because by the age of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2923.52,"endTime":2926.88,"body":"eight, he has worked out he's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2926.88,"endTime":2929.8199999999997,"body":"been a boy long enough to know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2926.88,"endTime":2929.8199999999997,"body":"that boys don't talk about this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2930.0,"endTime":2934.38,"body":"Okay. But what we see it we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2930.0,"endTime":2934.38,"body":"start in the teen years and boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2934.38,"endTime":2937.92,"body":"friendships start to decline."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2934.38,"endTime":2937.92,"body":"Yeah. And then they get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2937.92,"endTime":2944.64,"body":"adulthood. And some men have no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2937.92,"endTime":2944.64,"body":"close connection to anyone. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2944.64,"endTime":2948.12,"body":"know. So what we have we have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2944.64,"endTime":2948.12,"body":"friendship recession in men, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2948.12,"endTime":2952.14,"body":"lonely boys grew up to be lonely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2948.12,"endTime":2952.14,"body":"men and women that loneliness is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2952.14,"endTime":2955.5,"body":"as deadly as cancer. If your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2952.14,"endTime":2955.5,"body":"twin does not have close"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2955.5,"endTime":2958.89,"body":"connections and friendships, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2955.5,"endTime":2958.89,"body":"is likely to have worse mental"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2958.89,"endTime":2961.71,"body":"health worse physical health,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2958.89,"endTime":2961.71,"body":"he's going to do worse at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2961.71,"endTime":2965.5499999999997,"body":"school, he is going to struggle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2961.71,"endTime":2965.5499999999997,"body":"in his romantic relationships,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2965.5499999999997,"endTime":2968.5499999999997,"body":"because friendship is where you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2965.5499999999997,"endTime":2968.5499999999997,"body":"learn those skills for romantic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2968.5499999999997,"endTime":2972.06,"body":"relationships. And he's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2968.5499999999997,"endTime":2972.06,"body":"struggle professionally. So we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2972.06,"endTime":2975.96,"body":"need to invest the time in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2972.06,"endTime":2975.96,"body":"teaching our boys friendship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2975.96,"endTime":2979.71,"body":"skills. So what do I mean by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2975.96,"endTime":2979.71,"body":"friendship skills? Firstly, how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2979.71,"endTime":2983.85,"body":"to choose friends who are good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2979.71,"endTime":2983.85,"body":"for him. Right? Parents, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2983.85,"endTime":2987.6,"body":"rightly so are worried about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2983.85,"endTime":2987.6,"body":"influence of boys peers. So he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2987.6,"endTime":2991.77,"body":"needs to learn to choose well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2987.6,"endTime":2991.77,"body":"friendship is a choice, and he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2991.77,"endTime":2995.04,"body":"has to choose well, and what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2991.77,"endTime":2995.04,"body":"does that mean? He needs to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2995.04,"endTime":2997.2599999999998,"body":"learn and this is a really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2995.04,"endTime":2997.2599999999998,"body":"important one for voice to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2997.29,"endTime":3001.13,"body":"maintain friendships. Women are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2997.29,"endTime":3001.13,"body":"much better at maintaining"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3001.13,"endTime":3005.39,"body":"friendships than boys. And often"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3001.13,"endTime":3005.39,"body":"it's not modelled. You know, Dad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3005.39,"endTime":3007.58,"body":"doesn't have any friends."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3005.39,"endTime":3007.58,"body":"Grandpa doesn't have any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3007.58,"endTime":3011.45,"body":"friends. Whereas a lot of boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3007.58,"endTime":3011.45,"body":"have a lot of girls, they see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3011.45,"endTime":3015.62,"body":"their mom do friendship. true,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3011.45,"endTime":3015.62,"body":"very true, and not seeing their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3015.62,"endTime":3018.74,"body":"dad do friendship. So that means"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3015.62,"endTime":3018.74,"body":"in many ways you actually have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3018.74,"endTime":3021.86,"body":"to work harder to teach boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3018.74,"endTime":3021.86,"body":"friendship skills, because if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3021.98,"endTime":3025.25,"body":"it's not being modelled, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3021.98,"endTime":3025.25,"body":"need to learn how to deal with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3025.25,"endTime":3029.36,"body":"conflict in productive ways."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3025.25,"endTime":3029.36,"body":"Ways that don't mean punch him."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3030.74,"endTime":3036.47,"body":"Yeah, that came up a lot to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3030.74,"endTime":3036.47,"body":"really didn't want to encourage"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3036.47,"endTime":3039.47,"body":"violence in their boy, but they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3036.47,"endTime":3039.47,"body":"did not know what else to do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3039.86,"endTime":3044.5099999999998,"body":"And just on that the really good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3039.86,"endTime":3044.5099999999998,"body":"news again, is that yeah, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3044.5099999999998,"endTime":3048.23,"body":"right to suspect that Violence"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3044.5099999999998,"endTime":3048.23,"body":"is not the right approach. It is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3048.23,"endTime":3052.25,"body":"not okay. The research shows"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3048.23,"endTime":3052.25,"body":"that if a boy is being bullied"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3052.25,"endTime":3055.5499999999997,"body":"and he punches back, that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3052.25,"endTime":3055.5499999999997,"body":"likely to escalate and he's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3055.5499999999997,"endTime":3058.37,"body":"going to get punched and it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3055.5499999999997,"endTime":3058.37,"body":"going to keep going. Okay? That"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3058.37,"endTime":3063.2,"body":"whole idea of one punch and it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3058.37,"endTime":3063.2,"body":"over is a myth. Okay? The other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3063.2,"endTime":3066.95,"body":"reason why you should not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3063.2,"endTime":3066.95,"body":"encourage your boy to punch is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3067.22,"endTime":3073.73,"body":"you don't want to teach your boy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3067.22,"endTime":3073.73,"body":"a skill to resolve conflict that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3073.7599999999998,"endTime":3078.2,"body":"later in life could end him in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3073.7599999999998,"endTime":3078.2,"body":"jail. Right? Do you want your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3078.2,"endTime":3081.98,"body":"boy to resolve conflict by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3078.2,"endTime":3081.98,"body":"punching someone when he's 18?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3082.88,"endTime":3085.7,"body":"Do you want your boy to resolve"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3082.88,"endTime":3085.7,"body":"conflict with his partner when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3085.7,"endTime":3089.72,"body":"he's 30? by punching you wanting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3085.7,"endTime":3089.72,"body":"to resolve conflict with his own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3089.72,"endTime":3094.94,"body":"child by using violence? No. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3089.72,"endTime":3094.94,"body":"if you don't want men to poach,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3095.0,"endTime":3098.99,"body":"we should not be encouraging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3095.0,"endTime":3098.99,"body":"boys to punch. And there are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3098.99,"endTime":3102.86,"body":"strategies that boys can use it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3098.99,"endTime":3102.86,"body":"a far more effective. It's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3102.86,"endTime":3107.5699999999997,"body":"same strategy for girls. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3102.86,"endTime":3107.5699999999997,"body":"called a quick comeback. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3107.5699999999997,"endTime":3110.0,"body":"there are several friendship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3107.5699999999997,"endTime":3110.0,"body":"experts that talk about this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3110.0,"endTime":3113.21,"body":"One of them is Dana kerferd."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3110.0,"endTime":3113.21,"body":"From you are strong. And it is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3113.21,"endTime":3118.0099999999998,"body":"short, sharp statement. When"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3113.21,"endTime":3118.0099999999998,"body":"somebody does something to you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3118.0099999999998,"endTime":3120.95,"body":"you say you're quick comeback,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3118.0099999999998,"endTime":3120.95,"body":"like, that's not cool. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3120.95,"endTime":3125.45,"body":"not okay. Seriously, that's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3120.95,"endTime":3125.45,"body":"best you've got or something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3125.45,"endTime":3128.69,"body":"like that. You say the statement"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3125.45,"endTime":3128.69,"body":"and you walk away. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3128.69,"endTime":3131.6,"body":"research shows that kids who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3128.69,"endTime":3131.6,"body":"have a quick comeback and they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3131.6,"endTime":3134.87,"body":"deliver it with authority. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3131.6,"endTime":3134.87,"body":"you need to practice you need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3134.87,"endTime":3139.4,"body":"roleplay at home, you said we'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3134.87,"endTime":3139.4,"body":"already get bullied less often"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3139.4,"endTime":3144.5899999999997,"body":"and less severely. Wow. And we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3139.4,"endTime":3144.5899999999997,"body":"we saw this play out with a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3144.5899999999997,"endTime":3148.04,"body":"family we were helping this boy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3144.5899999999997,"endTime":3148.04,"body":"every day when he lined up for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3148.13,"endTime":3150.74,"body":"to go into class he got elbowed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3148.13,"endTime":3150.74,"body":"in the guts you know, they had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3150.74,"endTime":3154.73,"body":"to stand in alphabetical order."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3150.74,"endTime":3154.73,"body":"Always stood behind the guy, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3154.73,"endTime":3157.73,"body":"boy who was going to elbow him,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3154.73,"endTime":3157.73,"body":"and three times a day he had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3157.73,"endTime":3161.9,"body":"be in that line. Oh, the mom"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3157.73,"endTime":3161.9,"body":"taught him the quick comeback."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3161.96,"endTime":3167.45,"body":"Yeah. And so the first time he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3161.96,"endTime":3167.45,"body":"did it, the perpetrator was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3167.45,"endTime":3173.24,"body":"surprised and said, then that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3167.45,"endTime":3173.24,"body":"was the beginning of the day"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3173.27,"endTime":3177.29,"body":"morning tea. He did it again."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3173.27,"endTime":3177.29,"body":"The boy used his quick comeback"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3177.29,"endTime":3182.6,"body":"and it stopped by lunchtime it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3177.29,"endTime":3182.6,"body":"was over. Why not elbowed him in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3182.6,"endTime":3189.0499999999997,"body":"the guts again. And the boy who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3182.6,"endTime":3189.0499999999997,"body":"elbows is now being super nice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3189.0499999999997,"endTime":3193.7,"body":"to the other boy, wow. It's so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3189.0499999999997,"endTime":3193.7,"body":"powerful. And we've heard the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3193.7,"endTime":3196.7,"body":"stories over and over again."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3193.7,"endTime":3196.7,"body":"Now, of course, in cases of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3196.7,"endTime":3199.64,"body":"severe bullying, then yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3196.7,"endTime":3199.64,"body":"there are you need different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3199.64,"endTime":3204.11,"body":"strategies. But very often, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3199.64,"endTime":3204.11,"body":"you teach your boy to stand up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3204.11,"endTime":3207.47,"body":"for himself, he will be able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3204.11,"endTime":3207.47,"body":"do it. And the other thing to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3207.47,"endTime":3211.52,"body":"is create the expectation that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3207.47,"endTime":3211.52,"body":"you expect your boy to stand up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3211.52,"endTime":3214.97,"body":"for himself. So when he comes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3211.52,"endTime":3214.97,"body":"home and says, you know someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3214.97,"endTime":3219.74,"body":"did this or said that? Let the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3214.97,"endTime":3219.74,"body":"first thing be? Did you stand up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3219.74,"endTime":3224.2999999999997,"body":"for yourself? Yeah. And if he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3219.74,"endTime":3224.2999999999997,"body":"says no, then workshops and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3224.2999999999997,"endTime":3227.2999999999997,"body":"strategies of what he can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3224.2999999999997,"endTime":3227.2999999999997,"body":"next time, but if he says yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3227.2999999999997,"endTime":3229.46,"body":"it's like good on you. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3227.2999999999997,"endTime":3229.46,"body":"that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3229.46,"endTime":3232.67,"body":"really encouraging. I like that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3229.46,"endTime":3232.67,"body":"because I think a lot of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3232.67,"endTime":3234.77,"body":"times it's like, okay, well, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3232.67,"endTime":3234.77,"body":"don't want violence, we'll just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3234.77,"endTime":3238.25,"body":"tell them, Don't worry about it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3234.77,"endTime":3238.25,"body":"Like don't set just don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3238.25,"endTime":3241.58,"body":"retaliate, say nothing, don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3238.25,"endTime":3241.58,"body":"you know, Don't stoop to their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3241.58,"endTime":3243.77,"body":"level. And that's actually not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3241.58,"endTime":3243.77,"body":"empowering, either."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3243.83,"endTime":3248.06,"body":"No, it's not empowering. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3243.83,"endTime":3248.06,"body":"also doesn't know. Okay, so if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3248.06,"endTime":3250.85,"body":"you tell your boss, I'll just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3248.06,"endTime":3250.85,"body":"ignore it. Do nothing. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3250.88,"endTime":3254.21,"body":"Danny's got the other kid to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3250.88,"endTime":3254.21,"body":"like, try harder next time."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3254.33,"endTime":3258.95,"body":"Yeah, yeah. And also encourages"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3254.33,"endTime":3258.95,"body":"your boy to take on the victim"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3258.95,"endTime":3262.97,"body":"mentality. And you marry that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3258.95,"endTime":3262.97,"body":"with the negativity of you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3263.21,"endTime":3267.5899999999997,"body":"masculinity. Yeah, not a picture"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3263.21,"endTime":3267.5899999999997,"body":"of a boy who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3267.589,"endTime":3270.919,"body":"likes himself. No, that's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3267.589,"endTime":3270.919,"body":"recipe for disaster in every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3270.919,"endTime":3273.739,"body":"way. I love that a quick"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3270.919,"endTime":3273.739,"body":"comeback I think that the boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3273.739,"endTime":3276.529,"body":"would enjoy I think I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3273.739,"endTime":3276.529,"body":"imagine a workshop with boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3276.739,"endTime":3279.6189999999997,"body":"thinking of quick comebacks and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3276.739,"endTime":3279.6189999999997,"body":"it would be quite hilarious to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3279.6189999999997,"endTime":3280.819,"body":"watch what they come up with."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3281.18,"endTime":3285.3199999999997,"body":"That's an important part of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3281.18,"endTime":3285.3199999999997,"body":"isn't can't get you into trouble"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3285.3199999999997,"endTime":3290.45,"body":"if a teacher so somehow to you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3285.3199999999997,"endTime":3290.45,"body":"you don't go low you go home."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3290.5699999999997,"endTime":3294.23,"body":"Yep. But so it's a statement"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3290.5699999999997,"endTime":3294.23,"body":"that's non inflammatory that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3294.23,"endTime":3296.96,"body":"lets the other person saw what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3294.23,"endTime":3296.96,"body":"you did. I'm not okay with it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3297.17,"endTime":3300.23,"body":"Yes. And teaches them how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3297.17,"endTime":3300.23,"body":"find the right words to do that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3300.23,"endTime":3303.86,"body":"without having to resort to more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3300.23,"endTime":3303.86,"body":"name calling essentially. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3303.86,"endTime":3305.81,"body":"right. Yeah. Beautiful. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3305.81,"endTime":3309.5899999999997,"body":"love these. And a boy who likes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3305.81,"endTime":3309.5899999999997,"body":"himself is himself. I get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3309.5899999999997,"endTime":3310.97,"body":"goosebumps as I say that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3311.0,"endTime":3312.65,"body":"Yeah, this is my favourite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3311.0,"endTime":3312.65,"body":"pillar."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3313.069,"endTime":3316.939,"body":"Yeah, it's just so beautiful and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3313.069,"endTime":3316.939,"body":"and how do we help boys to know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3316.939,"endTime":3319.5789999999997,"body":"who they are and be who they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3316.939,"endTime":3319.5789999999997,"body":"are? Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3319.61,"endTime":3324.0499999999997,"body":"authenticity. It's, it's an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3319.61,"endTime":3324.0499999999997,"body":"issue for boys and girls, but it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3324.0499999999997,"endTime":3327.62,"body":"really is a very big issue for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3324.0499999999997,"endTime":3327.62,"body":"boys. Because as we started off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3327.62,"endTime":3332.0299999999997,"body":"by saying, you know, there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3327.62,"endTime":3332.0299999999997,"body":"only one way to be a boy. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3332.0299999999997,"endTime":3335.5699999999997,"body":"that's really hard if you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3332.0299999999997,"endTime":3335.5699999999997,"body":"outside that what we call the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3335.5699999999997,"endTime":3338.2999999999997,"body":"man box. So the research has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3335.5699999999997,"endTime":3338.2999999999997,"body":"been done. It's named the man"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3338.2999999999997,"endTime":3342.08,"body":"box and it has set of values and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3338.2999999999997,"endTime":3342.08,"body":"behaviours that men believe real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3342.08,"endTime":3345.83,"body":"men have to do. Be in control,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3342.08,"endTime":3345.83,"body":"be dominant, don't back away"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3345.83,"endTime":3349.7599999999998,"body":"from it. Fight, use aggression,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3345.83,"endTime":3349.7599999999998,"body":"if required never show emotion"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3349.7599999999998,"endTime":3355.43,"body":"never asked for help. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3349.7599999999998,"endTime":3355.43,"body":"research shows that men who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3355.46,"endTime":3360.08,"body":"genuinely believe in the man box"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3355.46,"endTime":3360.08,"body":"values who subscribe to them,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3360.62,"endTime":3364.73,"body":"they have higher rates of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3360.62,"endTime":3364.73,"body":"suicide, higher rates of anxiety"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3364.73,"endTime":3367.58,"body":"and depression, they're more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3364.73,"endTime":3367.58,"body":"likely to be in a car accident,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3367.64,"endTime":3370.19,"body":"they have more relationship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3367.64,"endTime":3370.19,"body":"breakdowns, they do worse at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3370.19,"endTime":3373.79,"body":"school and in the workplace. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3370.19,"endTime":3373.79,"body":"absolutely every outcome you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3373.79,"endTime":3378.5899999999997,"body":"measure is worse for men who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3373.79,"endTime":3378.5899999999997,"body":"believe in the man box values."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3378.98,"endTime":3382.91,"body":"Now, in our society, there will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3378.98,"endTime":3382.91,"body":"be times when your boy will have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3382.91,"endTime":3386.36,"body":"to perform the man box values,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3382.91,"endTime":3386.36,"body":"because unfortunately, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3386.36,"endTime":3390.89,"body":"just the world we live in. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3386.36,"endTime":3390.89,"body":"if he performs them, but does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3390.89,"endTime":3395.06,"body":"not believe them to be true, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3390.89,"endTime":3395.06,"body":"is protected from all of those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3395.06,"endTime":3399.68,"body":"negative outcomes. All of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3395.06,"endTime":3399.68,"body":"negative outcomes apply to boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3399.68,"endTime":3404.72,"body":"who built and men who subscribe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3399.68,"endTime":3404.72,"body":"to them. Men who feel like they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3404.72,"endTime":3408.08,"body":"have to dominate girls and women"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3404.72,"endTime":3408.08,"body":"in order to feel okay about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3408.08,"endTime":3412.49,"body":"themselves, for example. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3408.08,"endTime":3412.49,"body":"world doesn't work out very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3412.49,"endTime":3414.86,"body":"well, for those men in the long"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3412.49,"endTime":3414.86,"body":"run, you know, that's again,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3414.86,"endTime":3421.04,"body":"tough versus strong. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3414.86,"endTime":3421.04,"body":"what we need to do for our boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3421.0699999999997,"endTime":3426.65,"body":"is make sure that our home is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3421.0699999999997,"endTime":3426.65,"body":"place where they are able to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3426.68,"endTime":3431.0,"body":"their authentic selves. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3426.68,"endTime":3431.0,"body":"Brene Brown did some the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3431.0,"endTime":3435.74,"body":"sociologists from America did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3431.0,"endTime":3435.74,"body":"some amazing research into what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3435.74,"endTime":3439.2799999999997,"body":"is the difference between people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3435.74,"endTime":3439.2799999999997,"body":"who actually believe in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3439.2799999999997,"endTime":3443.42,"body":"themselves and go through life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3439.2799999999997,"endTime":3443.42,"body":"with a sense of confidence and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3443.42,"endTime":3447.2599999999998,"body":"worthiness and belonging, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3443.42,"endTime":3447.2599999999998,"body":"the people who don't. And she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3447.2599999999998,"endTime":3450.38,"body":"looked at socio economics, she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3447.2599999999998,"endTime":3450.38,"body":"looked at age, she looked at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3450.41,"endTime":3453.47,"body":"gender, she looked at all these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3450.41,"endTime":3453.47,"body":"measures, and found out that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3453.47,"endTime":3457.43,"body":"there is only one thing that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3453.47,"endTime":3457.43,"body":"separates that group of people,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3458.0299999999997,"endTime":3461.75,"body":"and the people who go through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3458.0299999999997,"endTime":3461.75,"body":"life with a sense of worthiness,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3462.23,"endTime":3469.2799999999997,"body":"believe they are worthy. That is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3462.23,"endTime":3469.2799999999997,"body":"it. It is a belief. Wow. We as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3469.2799999999997,"endTime":3475.25,"body":"parents can instil that belief,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3469.2799999999997,"endTime":3475.25,"body":"yeah, that is a low bar. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3475.49,"endTime":3479.8399999999997,"body":"to have lots of money. You don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3475.49,"endTime":3479.8399999999997,"body":"have to have a PhD right? Now,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3479.8399999999997,"endTime":3484.7599999999998,"body":"how do you instil worthiness in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3479.8399999999997,"endTime":3484.7599999999998,"body":"your boy, by treating him as if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3484.7599999999998,"endTime":3489.2599999999998,"body":"he's always worthy, it's non"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3484.7599999999998,"endTime":3489.2599999999998,"body":"negotiable. It's like his hair"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3489.2599999999998,"endTime":3492.68,"body":"colour, or his eye colour or his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3489.2599999999998,"endTime":3492.68,"body":"date of birth, it is just who he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3492.68,"endTime":3499.46,"body":"is. And so that means that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3492.68,"endTime":3499.46,"body":"can absolutely have high"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3499.46,"endTime":3502.97,"body":"expectations for our children."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3499.46,"endTime":3502.97,"body":"And we can pull them up when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3502.97,"endTime":3505.91,"body":"they do the wrong thing. We can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3502.97,"endTime":3505.91,"body":"teach them how to be better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3505.91,"endTime":3510.08,"body":"people. But it means that at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3505.91,"endTime":3510.08,"body":"core, you are already enough."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3511.5499999999997,"endTime":3515.06,"body":"And so when they go out into the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3511.5499999999997,"endTime":3515.06,"body":"world that is going to be harsh"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3515.06,"endTime":3518.27,"body":"and judged them, they will know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3515.06,"endTime":3518.27,"body":"that as soon as they work, walk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3518.27,"endTime":3524.36,"body":"through your door, they can drop"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3518.27,"endTime":3524.36,"body":"the man box, drop the mask, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3524.36,"endTime":3528.89,"body":"you'll see them and nurture"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3524.36,"endTime":3528.89,"body":"them, and love them for who they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3528.89,"endTime":3532.04,"body":"are, and support them to grow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3528.89,"endTime":3532.04,"body":"into the best version of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3532.04,"endTime":3536.9,"body":"person that they choose to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3532.04,"endTime":3536.9,"body":"not the one that you choose for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3536.9,"endTime":3537.3199999999997,"body":"them."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3537.77,"endTime":3542.21,"body":"Wow, this is it's so as you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3537.77,"endTime":3542.21,"body":"talking, I'm thinking I remember"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3542.21,"endTime":3544.46,"body":"talking when we were talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3542.21,"endTime":3544.46,"body":"about the girls book. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3544.46,"endTime":3548.48,"body":"like, whether you have daughters"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3544.46,"endTime":3548.48,"body":"or not, this book is for a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3548.81,"endTime":3552.5899999999997,"body":"for a lot of mothers or not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3548.81,"endTime":3552.5899999999997,"body":"mothers yet, or females in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3552.5899999999997,"endTime":3556.64,"body":"general, to learn to like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3552.5899999999997,"endTime":3556.64,"body":"themselves, even if they don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3556.64,"endTime":3558.77,"body":"have a daughter in the world,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3556.64,"endTime":3558.77,"body":"because it's a lot of re"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3558.77,"endTime":3563.0,"body":"parenting, to then be able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3558.77,"endTime":3563.0,"body":"gift that. And it's the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3563.0,"endTime":3566.15,"body":"here. I think a lot of men are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3563.0,"endTime":3566.15,"body":"going to have to really have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3566.15,"endTime":3569.96,"body":"go on a journey and parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3566.15,"endTime":3569.96,"body":"alike, to make sure they're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3569.96,"endTime":3572.48,"body":"projecting their own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3569.96,"endTime":3572.48,"body":"insecurities onto their kids"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3572.48,"endTime":3575.93,"body":"their own expectations onto the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3572.48,"endTime":3575.93,"body":"kids. And the boy who likes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3575.93,"endTime":3579.5299999999997,"body":"himself is himself requires that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3575.93,"endTime":3579.5299999999997,"body":"unconditional love from parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3579.7999999999997,"endTime":3583.58,"body":"without expectation, which is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3579.7999999999997,"endTime":3583.58,"body":"lot of work for the parents to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3583.58,"endTime":3584.39,"body":"be done. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3584.39,"endTime":3588.62,"body":"is and so and often with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3584.39,"endTime":3588.62,"body":"particularly with dads who try"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3588.62,"endTime":3592.8199999999997,"body":"to chisel away and create their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3588.62,"endTime":3592.8199999999997,"body":"son in a certain way. Yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3592.8199999999997,"endTime":3596.45,"body":"is done with good intentions."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3592.8199999999997,"endTime":3596.45,"body":"Yeah. In the book, we interview"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3596.45,"endTime":3599.99,"body":"Sarah Kearns, who is Mrs. Dad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3596.45,"endTime":3599.99,"body":"Mum, you know, the social media"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3599.99,"endTime":3604.46,"body":"sensation and so interesting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3599.99,"endTime":3604.46,"body":"speaking to her, because she's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3604.46,"endTime":3608.9,"body":"married to Brad Kearns and their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3604.46,"endTime":3608.9,"body":"oldest son Knox does not fit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3608.9,"endTime":3613.5499999999997,"body":"into the man box at all. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3608.9,"endTime":3613.5499999999997,"body":"they were very, they parented"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3613.5499999999997,"endTime":3617.0899999999997,"body":"very gender neutrally. It's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3613.5499999999997,"endTime":3617.0899999999997,"body":"it was a little boy and he likes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3617.0899999999997,"endTime":3621.14,"body":"you know, rainbows and unicorns,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3617.0899999999997,"endTime":3621.14,"body":"and motocross racing, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3621.83,"endTime":3625.67,"body":"what he likes, right? And but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3621.83,"endTime":3625.67,"body":"when he was got time to go to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3625.67,"endTime":3629.87,"body":"school, Brad, the dad said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3625.67,"endTime":3629.87,"body":"look, he can have whatever he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3629.87,"endTime":3634.52,"body":"wants at home, but he's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3629.87,"endTime":3634.52,"body":"taking it to school. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3634.52,"endTime":3637.25,"body":"reason he said that was because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3634.52,"endTime":3637.25,"body":"he knows that the world's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3637.25,"endTime":3643.49,"body":"tougher boys who aren't men box."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3637.25,"endTime":3643.49,"body":"But they as a family debated"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3643.49,"endTime":3648.47,"body":"that and realise that yeah, It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3643.49,"endTime":3648.47,"body":"hard for a boy to be outside the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3648.47,"endTime":3652.19,"body":"man box and not be accepted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3648.47,"endTime":3652.19,"body":"outside the home. But it is so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3652.19,"endTime":3656.0299999999997,"body":"much worse for him not to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3652.19,"endTime":3656.0299999999997,"body":"accepted inside the home. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3656.0299999999997,"endTime":3659.5699999999997,"body":"what message would you be giving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3656.0299999999997,"endTime":3659.5699999999997,"body":"to Paul sweet little knock"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3659.5699999999997,"endTime":3662.5699999999997,"body":"saying you have to pretend to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3659.5699999999997,"endTime":3662.5699999999997,"body":"someone else when you go to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3662.5699999999997,"endTime":3668.24,"body":"school? Yeah. So rather than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3662.5699999999997,"endTime":3668.24,"body":"trying to change their boy to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3668.24,"endTime":3671.9,"body":"fit into the world, they've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3668.24,"endTime":3671.9,"body":"turned their attention to giving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3671.9,"endTime":3676.2799999999997,"body":"him strategies to cope with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3671.9,"endTime":3676.2799999999997,"body":"world. The quick comeback,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3677.36,"endTime":3681.14,"body":"roleplaying what someone might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3677.36,"endTime":3681.14,"body":"say to you if you have a rainbow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3681.14,"endTime":3686.96,"body":"pencil case. And also just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3681.14,"endTime":3686.96,"body":"giving him so much love and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3686.96,"endTime":3690.74,"body":"validation within his home."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3686.96,"endTime":3690.74,"body":"Because also another thing about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3690.74,"endTime":3694.73,"body":"peer pressure, your boy is going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3690.74,"endTime":3694.73,"body":"to be a lot less likely to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3694.7599999999998,"endTime":3698.81,"body":"dumb stuff to to win the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3694.7599999999998,"endTime":3698.81,"body":"approval of other people if he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3698.81,"endTime":3701.39,"body":"has approval at home. Wow,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3698.81,"endTime":3701.39,"body":"that's so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3701.39,"endTime":3705.3199999999997,"body":"true. And so powerful. This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3701.39,"endTime":3705.3199999999997,"body":"incredible. Have you heard any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3705.5299999999997,"endTime":3708.5899999999997,"body":"stories where you've heard from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3705.5299999999997,"endTime":3708.5899999999997,"body":"I know, you've heard from lots"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3708.5899999999997,"endTime":3711.14,"body":"of women mothers out there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3708.5899999999997,"endTime":3711.14,"body":"listening with the last book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3711.14,"endTime":3714.74,"body":"about how they've improved their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3711.14,"endTime":3714.74,"body":"selves through your work. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3714.74,"endTime":3717.2599999999998,"body":"you know, they had intentions of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3714.74,"endTime":3717.2599999999998,"body":"improving their daughters, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3717.2599999999998,"endTime":3719.99,"body":"know, for their daughters. Have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3717.2599999999998,"endTime":3719.99,"body":"you had some really incredible,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3720.02,"endTime":3724.31,"body":"like testimonials and feedback"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3720.02,"endTime":3724.31,"body":"from fathers and men who have,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3724.3399999999997,"endTime":3726.74,"body":"you know, gone on their own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3724.3399999999997,"endTime":3726.74,"body":"development journey as well?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3727.1,"endTime":3734.66,"body":"Yeah, I got one just the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3727.1,"endTime":3734.66,"body":"day. Yeah. Who? He said he. What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3734.66,"endTime":3740.7799999999997,"body":"was it? He had more confidence?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3734.66,"endTime":3740.7799999999997,"body":"Yeah. To do, because the dads,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3740.87,"endTime":3744.77,"body":"you know, they have their own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3740.87,"endTime":3744.77,"body":"experiences, which were brutal."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3745.94,"endTime":3748.88,"body":"And they say Miss, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3745.94,"endTime":3748.88,"body":"girl moms as well. It's like, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3748.88,"endTime":3751.46,"body":"want something different from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3748.88,"endTime":3751.46,"body":"our kids, for our child. But we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3751.46,"endTime":3754.7,"body":"don't know how to give that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3751.46,"endTime":3754.7,"body":"Yeah. And so you just had more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3754.7,"endTime":3759.77,"body":"confidence in supporting his boy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3754.7,"endTime":3759.77,"body":"to be his authentic self."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3760.0099999999998,"endTime":3763.7599999999998,"body":"Oh, it's so beautiful. I just I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3760.0099999999998,"endTime":3763.7599999999998,"body":"love your work. I love it so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3763.7599999999998,"endTime":3767.33,"body":"much. And my question for you is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3763.7599999999998,"endTime":3767.33,"body":"what's next for you and your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3767.33,"endTime":3770.75,"body":"husband, you've, you've done the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3767.33,"endTime":3770.75,"body":"books. That was a very quick"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3770.75,"endTime":3773.5699999999997,"body":"turnaround. And you're just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3770.75,"endTime":3773.5699999999997,"body":"changing lives and your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3773.63,"endTime":3776.48,"body":"incredible couple. And I'm very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3773.63,"endTime":3776.48,"body":"grateful. And I just want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3776.48,"endTime":3777.92,"body":"know what's next for you guys?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3778.85,"endTime":3783.02,"body":"No, at the moment. It could be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3778.85,"endTime":3783.02,"body":"just for the year without a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3783.02,"endTime":3783.74,"body":"deadline."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3784.97,"endTime":3785.8399999999997,"body":"No more books."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3785.959,"endTime":3789.739,"body":"Yeah. So I think we're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3785.959,"endTime":3789.739,"body":"have a quiet year maybe. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3789.739,"endTime":3795.5589999999997,"body":"still continue to talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3789.739,"endTime":3795.5589999999997,"body":"this. So we have a we call it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3795.5589999999997,"endTime":3798.409,"body":"brave parents Academy, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3795.5589999999997,"endTime":3798.409,"body":"a digital course for girl"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3798.409,"endTime":3801.649,"body":"parents. Yes. Running that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3798.409,"endTime":3801.649,"body":"again, at the end of the year."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3801.679,"endTime":3804.769,"body":"What so? Yes, September, we'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3801.679,"endTime":3804.769,"body":"be running that. And maybe we'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3804.769,"endTime":3807.709,"body":"do something similar for boys."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3804.769,"endTime":3807.709,"body":"But we haven't done that yet."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3808.04,"endTime":3812.42,"body":"You guys need a holiday maybe?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3808.04,"endTime":3812.42,"body":"Well, thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3812.42,"endTime":3815.18,"body":"being here. Thank you for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3812.42,"endTime":3815.18,"body":"work you do. And please extend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3815.18,"endTime":3817.22,"body":"that to your husband as well. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3815.18,"endTime":3817.22,"body":"know you guys are just a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3817.22,"endTime":3821.87,"body":"powerhouse. And there's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3817.22,"endTime":3821.87,"body":"be so many parents who I just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3821.87,"endTime":3824.7799999999997,"body":"know are going to love this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3821.87,"endTime":3824.7799999999997,"body":"Where can they find you if they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3824.7799999999997,"endTime":3826.37,"body":"want to connect for their boys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3826.58,"endTime":3831.5,"body":"yet? So come to boys who like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3826.58,"endTime":3831.5,"body":"themselves.com. When is this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3831.5,"endTime":3836.48,"body":"going to live in the next month?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3831.5,"endTime":3836.48,"body":"Okay, so July or August? All"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3836.48,"endTime":3841.0099999999998,"body":"right. So if it goes live in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3836.48,"endTime":3841.0099999999998,"body":"July, we are running free master"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3841.0099999999998,"endTime":3848.81,"body":"classes for its parents. Right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3841.0099999999998,"endTime":3848.81,"body":"Oh, get it out. We'll do that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3848.8399999999997,"endTime":3852.02,"body":"Yeah, for sure. And you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3848.8399999999997,"endTime":3852.02,"body":"register from our web from our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3852.02,"endTime":3853.91,"body":"website voice who like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3852.02,"endTime":3853.91,"body":"themselves.com"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3854.24,"endTime":3857.81,"body":"Oh, incredible. Amazing. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3854.24,"endTime":3857.81,"body":"guys, go check that out. Read"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3857.81,"endTime":3861.02,"body":"the book. The book is absolutely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3857.81,"endTime":3861.02,"body":"incredible. You demolish it very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3861.02,"endTime":3863.5099999999998,"body":"fast. Casey, thank you so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3861.02,"endTime":3863.5099999999998,"body":"for being here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3863.63,"endTime":3865.19,"body":"My pleasure, Bri thanks."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3865.22,"endTime":3865.94,"body":"Thank you"}]}