{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.24,"endTime":3.18,"body":"Hello, welcome back to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.24,"endTime":3.18,"body":"another episode of the mind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.18,"endTime":6.09,"body":"school podcast, I was just about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.18,"endTime":6.09,"body":"to say the mind school method,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":6.09,"endTime":8.16,"body":"which is so funny. That's where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":6.09,"endTime":8.16,"body":"my brains been for the last"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":8.16,"endTime":12.12,"body":"while. And yes, things are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":8.16,"endTime":12.12,"body":"coming, things are moving along,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":12.12,"endTime":15.3,"body":"I'd have had lots of people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":12.12,"endTime":15.3,"body":"asking lots about it. More"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":15.3,"endTime":18.12,"body":"information will be coming in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":15.3,"endTime":18.12,"body":"the coming week. So if you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":18.12,"endTime":21.75,"body":"interested in learning about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":18.12,"endTime":21.75,"body":"mindset about emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":21.75,"endTime":23.97,"body":"intelligence, if you want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":21.75,"endTime":23.97,"body":"become a coach, if you've always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":23.97,"endTime":26.79,"body":"dreamed of being a coach, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":23.97,"endTime":26.79,"body":"you're already a coach, but you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":26.79,"endTime":29.82,"body":"want more tools in your toolkit,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":26.79,"endTime":29.82,"body":"if you're somebody who works"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":29.82,"endTime":33.96,"body":"with other humans, I feel like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":29.82,"endTime":33.96,"body":"this is really the certification"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":33.96,"endTime":37.47,"body":"for humans who work with humans."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":33.96,"endTime":37.47,"body":"So while I say coaches, aspiring"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.47,"endTime":41.07,"body":"coaches and established coaches,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.47,"endTime":41.07,"body":"it's also going to be incredible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":41.07,"endTime":44.82,"body":"for people who, like teachers,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":41.07,"endTime":44.82,"body":"leaders, educators, bosses, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":44.97,"endTime":48.09,"body":"really going to be just so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":44.97,"endTime":48.09,"body":"incredible. And anyway, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":48.09,"endTime":50.07,"body":"mean to go there. But I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":48.09,"endTime":50.07,"body":"obviously introduced this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":50.07,"endTime":52.74,"body":"podcast incorrectly, because it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":50.07,"endTime":52.74,"body":"is not the mind school method."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":52.74,"endTime":57.99,"body":"It is the mind school. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":52.74,"endTime":57.99,"body":"gonna be so honest, I have no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":57.99,"endTime":63.51,"body":"idea what this episode is going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":57.99,"endTime":63.51,"body":"to be. And I guess this is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":63.51,"endTime":68.55,"body":"whole point. 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That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":255.51,"endTime":258.72,"body":"what I've come up with. There's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":255.51,"endTime":258.72,"body":"never enough time. And yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":258.72,"endTime":261.48,"body":"I've just been in this sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":258.72,"endTime":261.48,"body":"phase of like, I just want to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":261.48,"endTime":264.03,"body":"home, I just want to go be with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":261.48,"endTime":264.03,"body":"mom and dad. I just want to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":264.03,"endTime":267.48,"body":"see my Nana and Pop. I just, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":264.03,"endTime":267.48,"body":"just and I think you know, I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.48,"endTime":270.84,"body":"shared a lot on this podcast"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.48,"endTime":270.84,"body":"about the fact that, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":270.87,"endTime":274.14,"body":"I've got a few health things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":270.87,"endTime":274.14,"body":"going on. And despite the fact"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.14,"endTime":279.24,"body":"that I am not pregnant, and I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.14,"endTime":279.24,"body":"not expecting a baby. 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What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.3,"endTime":858.09,"body":"often happens in the startup"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":858.09,"endTime":861.6,"body":"phase, and I wonder how many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":858.09,"endTime":861.6,"body":"people can resonate with this. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":861.6,"endTime":865.83,"body":"remember thinking far out like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":861.6,"endTime":865.83,"body":"going to my old job when I was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.83,"endTime":869.34,"body":"teacher. I remember having lots"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.83,"endTime":869.34,"body":"of days where I'd wake up and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":869.34,"endTime":871.86,"body":"was like, I can't be staffed or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":869.34,"endTime":871.86,"body":"like oh, I've got double year"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":871.86,"endTime":876.51,"body":"sevens today shit. No, I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":871.86,"endTime":876.51,"body":"them. But yeah, you sevens was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":876.51,"endTime":880.08,"body":"definitely a lot more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":876.51,"endTime":880.08,"body":"challenging for me. And so I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.08,"endTime":883.29,"body":"remember having this this sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.08,"endTime":883.29,"body":"of feeling some mornings, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.29,"endTime":885.99,"body":"like, Oh, I don't want to and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.29,"endTime":885.99,"body":"was like oh, go to the gym, go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.02,"endTime":888.21,"body":"get the gym done and start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.02,"endTime":888.21,"body":"feeling better. And then it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":888.21,"endTime":889.86,"body":"like you might be in a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":888.21,"endTime":889.86,"body":"bit of a funk. You might be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":889.86,"endTime":892.47,"body":"feeling a little bit grumpy. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":889.86,"endTime":892.47,"body":"might be I don't know PMS and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.47,"endTime":895.68,"body":"you might have cramps, whatever."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.47,"endTime":895.68,"body":"You got to show up and teach and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.68,"endTime":898.14,"body":"the kids deserve that from you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.68,"endTime":898.14,"body":"And you don't get to just go oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.14,"endTime":900.51,"body":"I'm honouring my feelings. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.14,"endTime":900.51,"body":"calling in sick I'm honouring my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.51,"endTime":902.22,"body":"feelings, I'm going to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.51,"endTime":902.22,"body":"grumpy, I'm honouring my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.22,"endTime":904.92,"body":"feelings, I'm not bringing my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.22,"endTime":904.92,"body":"best for these kids, you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.95,"endTime":908.58,"body":"get that you don't get to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.95,"endTime":908.58,"body":"that. And what happened every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.58,"endTime":911.64,"body":"single day was that being at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.58,"endTime":911.64,"body":"work on those days was the best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":911.67,"endTime":915.24,"body":"thing for me. I always felt so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":911.67,"endTime":915.24,"body":"much better when I put on my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":915.24,"endTime":917.16,"body":"makeup when I got dressed. When"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":915.24,"endTime":917.16,"body":"I went and spoke to my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.16,"endTime":919.53,"body":"colleagues, when I had a laugh"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.16,"endTime":919.53,"body":"with my students, when I just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":919.53,"endTime":922.92,"body":"got on with it and started doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":919.53,"endTime":922.92,"body":"the things that I didn't feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":922.92,"endTime":925.62,"body":"like doing. And I've really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":922.92,"endTime":925.62,"body":"brought that through with me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":925.62,"endTime":929.07,"body":"because I have had, I remember,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":925.62,"endTime":929.07,"body":"especially in the first year of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.07,"endTime":933.15,"body":"business, I was like, gosh, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.07,"endTime":933.15,"body":"so you've got to, you've really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.15,"endTime":935.7,"body":"got to use your discipline a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.15,"endTime":935.7,"body":"more as a business owner,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":935.7,"endTime":939.27,"body":"because you're gonna have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":935.7,"endTime":939.27,"body":"feelings like regular, normal,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.27,"endTime":942.75,"body":"cyclical feelings that we have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.27,"endTime":942.75,"body":"as humans that pop up. But you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":942.75,"endTime":944.7,"body":"don't have a boss that says,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":942.75,"endTime":944.7,"body":"Well, you got to be here at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.73,"endTime":947.07,"body":"eight o'clock, you don't have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.73,"endTime":947.07,"body":"class that's waiting for you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":947.07,"endTime":950.1,"body":"let them in from recess, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":947.07,"endTime":950.1,"body":"don't have parents that you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.1,"endTime":953.1,"body":"got to be cordial to and put on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.1,"endTime":953.1,"body":"your best foot, put your best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.1,"endTime":956.1,"body":"foot forward and communicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.1,"endTime":956.1,"body":"with, you don't have all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.1,"endTime":960.0,"body":"those, those sort of boundaries"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.1,"endTime":960.0,"body":"and practices and sort of, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.0,"endTime":963.9,"body":"don't have any of that in place."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.0,"endTime":963.9,"body":"And so you've got to be, you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.9,"endTime":966.6,"body":"got to create your own. And if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.9,"endTime":966.6,"body":"you don't feel like it, there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":966.6,"endTime":969.42,"body":"no boss that saying, Well, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":966.6,"endTime":969.42,"body":"have to there's no class that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":969.42,"endTime":972.81,"body":"looking at you. And so you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":969.42,"endTime":972.81,"body":"often got to really be like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.9,"endTime":975.24,"body":"pulling yourself and doing the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.9,"endTime":975.24,"body":"things even though you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.24,"endTime":977.52,"body":"feel like it, even though"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.24,"endTime":977.52,"body":"there's no repercussions for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":977.55,"endTime":980.25,"body":"honouring your feelings all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":977.55,"endTime":980.25,"body":"time. But if you honoured your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":980.25,"endTime":983.49,"body":"feelings all the time, you might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":980.25,"endTime":983.49,"body":"actually end up feeling worse,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.49,"endTime":986.85,"body":"because and this is again, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.49,"endTime":986.85,"body":"like what what I noticed is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":987.0,"endTime":990.09,"body":"I always felt better by just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":987.0,"endTime":990.09,"body":"doing the thing. And it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":990.18,"endTime":993.03,"body":"really great that ended up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":990.18,"endTime":993.03,"body":"changing my feelings. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":993.03,"endTime":995.31,"body":"like, imagine if I didn't do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":993.03,"endTime":995.31,"body":"that, would that feeling just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.31,"endTime":998.19,"body":"have perpetuated? And so I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.31,"endTime":998.19,"body":"kind of brought that along with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":998.19,"endTime":1001.34,"body":"me too. And I think that's,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":998.19,"endTime":1001.34,"body":"again, I'd love to know if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.34,"endTime":1003.95,"body":"anyone can resonate with this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.34,"endTime":1003.95,"body":"And if you take anything from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1003.95,"endTime":1006.92,"body":"this, but for me, it's that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1003.95,"endTime":1006.92,"body":"sometimes I know I feel better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1006.92,"endTime":1011.93,"body":"by doing the thing. And I can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1006.92,"endTime":1011.93,"body":"always honour every single"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.93,"endTime":1015.77,"body":"feeling. And in saying that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.93,"endTime":1015.77,"body":"it's very important that we do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1015.8,"endTime":1018.8,"body":"notice when there is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1015.8,"endTime":1018.8,"body":"consistent feeling that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1018.8,"endTime":1022.28,"body":"lurking when there is a feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1018.8,"endTime":1022.28,"body":"and emotion that is just not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.28,"endTime":1025.13,"body":"going away, when there is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.28,"endTime":1025.13,"body":"something that is definitely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.13,"endTime":1028.4,"body":"needing processing and needing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.13,"endTime":1028.4,"body":"to be addressed, of course. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.4,"endTime":1032.24,"body":"when there's big things that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.4,"endTime":1032.24,"body":"happen and big experiences and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.24,"endTime":1034.85,"body":"things that actually need to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.24,"endTime":1034.85,"body":"processed. Of course, we need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1034.85,"endTime":1037.61,"body":"honour those things. I'm never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1034.85,"endTime":1037.61,"body":"saying to gaslight yourself, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1037.61,"endTime":1039.71,"body":"never saying any of those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1037.61,"endTime":1039.71,"body":"things. I'm just saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.71,"endTime":1042.68,"body":"sometimes real emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.71,"endTime":1042.68,"body":"intelligence is to be able to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.68,"endTime":1045.95,"body":"the things despite the emotions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.68,"endTime":1045.95,"body":"and understanding that all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1045.95,"endTime":1050.6,"body":"emotions are temporary and will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1045.95,"endTime":1050.6,"body":"move. And all like I said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.63,"endTime":1053.84,"body":"already, like 20 minutes ago, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.63,"endTime":1053.84,"body":"was like it. And now I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.84,"endTime":1057.29,"body":"Cool. We're on. Let's keep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.84,"endTime":1057.29,"body":"talking like this feels fine. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1057.32,"endTime":1060.41,"body":"I'm doing the thing anyway. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1057.32,"endTime":1060.41,"body":"maybe this is the lesson maybe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.41,"endTime":1062.36,"body":"this is just something that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.41,"endTime":1062.36,"body":"can take from this, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1062.36,"endTime":1064.94,"body":"you can do some things when you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1062.36,"endTime":1064.94,"body":"don't feel like it. And for me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.27,"endTime":1069.35,"body":"that's kind of how I navigated"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.27,"endTime":1069.35,"body":"this particular instance, in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1069.35,"endTime":1072.89,"body":"saying that last week, I did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1069.35,"endTime":1072.89,"body":"cancel things I did, I did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1072.89,"endTime":1075.68,"body":"actually can can a few things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1072.89,"endTime":1075.68,"body":"that were in my schedule. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1075.68,"endTime":1078.56,"body":"that was okay, I was genuinely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1075.68,"endTime":1078.56,"body":"sick and not feeling well. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.98,"endTime":1082.07,"body":"there is times and places. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.98,"endTime":1082.07,"body":"guess that's what I'm saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1082.07,"endTime":1085.61,"body":"about that. The other thing, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1082.07,"endTime":1085.61,"body":"guess if we're doing a date, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1085.61,"endTime":1088.1,"body":"we're doing a bit of a Dear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1085.61,"endTime":1088.1,"body":"Diary, something else that I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1088.1,"endTime":1090.92,"body":"really been kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1088.1,"endTime":1090.92,"body":"contemplating and chatting about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1090.92,"endTime":1094.82,"body":"with a couple girlfriends and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1090.92,"endTime":1094.82,"body":"just with Paul is like, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.85,"endTime":1098.18,"body":"very interesting. I feel like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.85,"endTime":1098.18,"body":"have two personalities."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.26,"endTime":1102.8,"body":"Actually, I probably have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.26,"endTime":1102.8,"body":"50,000. But I feel like and I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1102.89,"endTime":1103.88,"body":"This is no secret. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.88,"endTime":1106.46,"body":"talk about nuance, I talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.88,"endTime":1106.46,"body":"contradiction, I talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.46,"endTime":1111.71,"body":"duality. And I'm really big on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.46,"endTime":1111.71,"body":"this, I hate putting ourselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.71,"endTime":1115.52,"body":"in boxes, I really don't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.71,"endTime":1115.52,"body":"being held to one identity. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1115.52,"endTime":1118.73,"body":"all about contradiction, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1115.52,"endTime":1118.73,"body":"love to contradict myself. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1118.73,"endTime":1121.49,"body":"lately what's been coming up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1118.73,"endTime":1121.49,"body":"it feels honestly a little bit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.49,"endTime":1126.5,"body":"confusing sometimes. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.49,"endTime":1126.5,"body":"almost like there is not grief,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1126.5,"endTime":1130.46,"body":"but like a discomfort with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1126.5,"endTime":1130.46,"body":"accepting that sometimes the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.46,"endTime":1133.79,"body":"season has changed. And you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.46,"endTime":1133.79,"body":"got to let go of the part of you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1133.79,"endTime":1137.27,"body":"that was sort of steering the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1133.79,"endTime":1137.27,"body":"ship for so long. And so how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.3,"endTime":1140.9,"body":"this has kind of played out for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.3,"endTime":1140.9,"body":"me recently is that when I talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1187.0,"endTime":1190.09,"body":"about my two personalities, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1187.0,"endTime":1190.09,"body":"feel like half of me and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1190.09,"endTime":1192.1599999999999,"body":"looked at my star sign and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1190.09,"endTime":1192.1599999999999,"body":"thought about this it was really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1192.1599999999999,"endTime":1196.36,"body":"interesting because I'm a Pisces"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1192.1599999999999,"endTime":1196.36,"body":"son. So Pisces is air, very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1196.36,"endTime":1198.6399999999999,"body":"emotional. And again, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1196.36,"endTime":1198.6399999999999,"body":"huge into astrology, but it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.6399999999999,"endTime":1202.51,"body":"just interesting from this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.6399999999999,"endTime":1202.51,"body":"context, very kind of whimsical"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1202.51,"endTime":1206.59,"body":"and emotional and very intuitive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1202.51,"endTime":1206.59,"body":"and maternal and caring and all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1206.59,"endTime":1210.9399999999998,"body":"of those real like, I would say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1206.59,"endTime":1210.9399999999998,"body":"like very creative, all of those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1210.9399999999998,"endTime":1214.2099999999998,"body":"sorts of and that's so like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1210.9399999999998,"endTime":1214.2099999999998,"body":"loved music, loved poetry, love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1214.2099999999998,"endTime":1216.82,"body":"all of those things. Very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1214.2099999999998,"endTime":1216.82,"body":"emotional, highly sensitive,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.85,"endTime":1222.58,"body":"very, very Pisces, and that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.85,"endTime":1222.58,"body":"kind of the one half and that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1222.58,"endTime":1225.58,"body":"I think, like the piece of me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1222.58,"endTime":1225.58,"body":"and the very big part of me I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1225.58,"endTime":1230.11,"body":"like I was raised in a small"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1225.58,"endTime":1230.11,"body":"country town with a very big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1230.11,"endTime":1234.3999999999999,"body":"family where family is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1230.11,"endTime":1234.3999999999999,"body":"everything like the simple life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1234.4299999999998,"endTime":1238.99,"body":"is the life and I could easily"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1234.4299999999998,"endTime":1238.99,"body":"just go camping and never wear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1238.99,"endTime":1242.26,"body":"shoes again and throw away all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1238.99,"endTime":1242.26,"body":"technology and probably be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.26,"endTime":1247.4499999999998,"body":"pretty bloody fulfilled. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.26,"endTime":1247.4499999999998,"body":"it was it is a great life. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.4499999999998,"endTime":1252.07,"body":"come from a family of really,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.4499999999998,"endTime":1252.07,"body":"like, just the simple things are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.07,"endTime":1255.9399999999998,"body":"the best things. And the best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.07,"endTime":1255.9399999999998,"body":"things in life are free and, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.3899999999999,"endTime":1259.57,"body":"there's ambition, but it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.3899999999999,"endTime":1259.57,"body":"like from this hustle energy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1259.57,"endTime":1264.04,"body":"It's like a slower pace. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1259.57,"endTime":1264.04,"body":"love that. And I think that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.04,"endTime":1266.83,"body":"the half of me that's like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.04,"endTime":1266.83,"body":"very, and this is what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1266.83,"endTime":1270.1899999999998,"body":"happening. Like, Paul and I are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1266.83,"endTime":1270.1899999999998,"body":"talking a lot about family life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1270.1899999999998,"endTime":1273.58,"body":"and what kind of parents we will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1270.1899999999998,"endTime":1273.58,"body":"be and what and I'm sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1273.58,"endTime":1276.6399999999999,"body":"preparing my body and my mind,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1273.58,"endTime":1276.6399999999999,"body":"and I'm doing all of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1276.6399999999999,"endTime":1280.75,"body":"things to prepare myself to be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1276.6399999999999,"endTime":1280.75,"body":"mother. And with that, I almost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.75,"endTime":1283.8999999999999,"body":"feel this softening. And there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.75,"endTime":1283.8999999999999,"body":"that part of me that wants to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.8999999999999,"endTime":1287.62,"body":"come out that's a lot slower."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.8999999999999,"endTime":1287.62,"body":"And I have these polls, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.62,"endTime":1290.74,"body":"like, do we want to move to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.62,"endTime":1290.74,"body":"country? Like, do we want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.74,"endTime":1294.1899999999998,"body":"just buy some land, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.74,"endTime":1294.1899999999998,"body":"like, oh, every now and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.1899999999998,"endTime":1296.6799999999998,"body":"there's this part of me that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.1899999999998,"endTime":1296.6799999999998,"body":"like, Oh, my God, I could easily"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1296.6799999999998,"endTime":1300.79,"body":"like sell everything and get rid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1296.6799999999998,"endTime":1300.79,"body":"of technology. Like, I could do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1300.79,"endTime":1303.79,"body":"that and just live a really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1300.79,"endTime":1303.79,"body":"simple life. And I actually find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.79,"endTime":1306.73,"body":"that very appealing in some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.79,"endTime":1306.73,"body":"ways. Like, there is such a big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1306.73,"endTime":1310.1799999999998,"body":"part of me that is just so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1306.73,"endTime":1310.1799999999998,"body":"simple, and just yearns for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.1799999999998,"endTime":1314.83,"body":"that. But then my fire sign, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.1799999999998,"endTime":1314.83,"body":"Saj rising, and the other part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.83,"endTime":1318.1599999999999,"body":"of me that is just fucking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.83,"endTime":1318.1599999999999,"body":"relentless. And like, has so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.1599999999999,"endTime":1320.7099999999998,"body":"much I always had this feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.1599999999999,"endTime":1320.7099999999998,"body":"that like, there's more, there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1320.7099999999998,"endTime":1322.6,"body":"more, there's more to do,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1320.7099999999998,"endTime":1322.6,"body":"there's more to do, I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1322.81,"endTime":1326.05,"body":"keep like impacting people and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1322.81,"endTime":1326.05,"body":"growing my business and hiring,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.23,"endTime":1330.79,"body":"hiring staff and like ambitious"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.23,"endTime":1330.79,"body":"and big energy, like I'm very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.79,"endTime":1334.9599999999998,"body":"extroverted, I love big energy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.79,"endTime":1334.9599999999998,"body":"And I love all of that and goal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1334.9599999999998,"endTime":1337.6,"body":"setting. And that real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1334.9599999999998,"endTime":1337.6,"body":"masculine, me, I'm very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1337.6,"endTime":1341.32,"body":"comfortable there. I love it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1337.6,"endTime":1341.32,"body":"And so what I've sort of been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.35,"endTime":1344.62,"body":"not battling with but just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.35,"endTime":1344.62,"body":"contemplating recently is like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.8899999999999,"endTime":1348.73,"body":"there's oppositional energies,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.8899999999999,"endTime":1348.73,"body":"and I love both. And I want both"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1348.73,"endTime":1351.4599999999998,"body":"and maybe and again, I'm just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1348.73,"endTime":1351.4599999999998,"body":"literally talking out loud, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1351.4599999999998,"endTime":1355.1499999999999,"body":"don't even know yet. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1351.4599999999998,"endTime":1355.1499999999999,"body":"potentially, I'm going into a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1355.1499999999999,"endTime":1360.58,"body":"season, which is more of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1355.1499999999999,"endTime":1360.58,"body":"Slow, simple, spacious maternal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1361.12,"endTime":1364.3899999999999,"body":"part of me that wants to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1361.12,"endTime":1364.3899999999999,"body":"resurface. And that's beautiful."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1365.05,"endTime":1367.6,"body":"And maybe that's just the season"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1365.05,"endTime":1367.6,"body":"I might be moving into. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1367.6,"endTime":1371.02,"body":"subconsciously feel that. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1367.6,"endTime":1371.02,"body":"what that brings up is almost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.02,"endTime":1376.1499999999999,"body":"like discomfort. Because I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.02,"endTime":1376.1499999999999,"body":"spent the last ever I've spent a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.1499999999999,"endTime":1379.7199999999998,"body":"long time being like in the last"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.1499999999999,"endTime":1379.7199999999998,"body":"four years growing not even four"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1379.7199999999998,"endTime":1382.6,"body":"years three and a bit years,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1379.7199999999998,"endTime":1382.6,"body":"growing this business, I've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1382.6,"endTime":1385.78,"body":"like in that ambitious fire"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1382.6,"endTime":1385.78,"body":"energy, like let's get shit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.78,"endTime":1390.6699999999998,"body":"done. Let's keep moving, let's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.78,"endTime":1390.6699999999998,"body":"do things. And I. So like, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.6699999999998,"endTime":1393.6699999999998,"body":"fortunate and so grateful to my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.6699999999998,"endTime":1393.6699999999998,"body":"past self that I did build a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.6699999999998,"endTime":1396.9699999999998,"body":"business where I was very aware"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.6699999999998,"endTime":1396.9699999999998,"body":"of this the nature of myself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.9699999999998,"endTime":1400.9299999999998,"body":"which is sometimes I might like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.9699999999998,"endTime":1400.9299999999998,"body":"to just not not do much at all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.9299999999998,"endTime":1404.56,"body":"for a while and actually go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.9299999999998,"endTime":1404.56,"body":"camping and go off the grid for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1404.56,"endTime":1407.32,"body":"a month at a time. Like that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1404.56,"endTime":1407.32,"body":"very within my, it's very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1407.32,"endTime":1409.8999999999999,"body":"possible that I would do that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1407.32,"endTime":1409.8999999999999,"body":"And so I built a business that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1409.8999999999999,"endTime":1413.8899999999999,"body":"gave me flexibility and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1409.8999999999999,"endTime":1413.8899999999999,"body":"adaptability, and fluidity. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1413.8899999999999,"endTime":1416.32,"body":"what's sort of really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1413.8899999999999,"endTime":1416.32,"body":"interesting at the moment is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1416.32,"endTime":1419.9199999999998,"body":"that I'm sort of not yet in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1416.32,"endTime":1419.9199999999998,"body":"either, like I'm not yet in that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1419.9199999999998,"endTime":1423.1,"body":"season, and I'm not ready to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1419.9199999999998,"endTime":1423.1,"body":"full into like, I guess what it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1423.1,"endTime":1425.59,"body":"would feel like is like the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1423.1,"endTime":1425.59,"body":"mother season, which again, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1425.59,"endTime":1428.26,"body":"like, I'm not even pregnant, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1425.59,"endTime":1428.26,"body":"it's just all these unconscious"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.26,"endTime":1431.59,"body":"layers that I'm like unpeeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.26,"endTime":1431.59,"body":"and preparing for that I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1431.59,"endTime":1435.07,"body":"yet there. I would love to be,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1431.59,"endTime":1435.07,"body":"but I'm not there. But it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.07,"endTime":1438.01,"body":"making me think like, oh, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.07,"endTime":1438.01,"body":"sort of in these in between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1438.01,"endTime":1442.6899999999998,"body":"seasons, where I'm balancing the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1438.01,"endTime":1442.6899999999998,"body":"both. 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But we actually have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.3899999999999,"endTime":1468.6999999999998,"body":"technique for this. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.3899999999999,"endTime":1468.6999999999998,"body":"called parts integration. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1468.6999999999998,"endTime":1472.0,"body":"it's bringing these parts of you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1468.6999999999998,"endTime":1472.0,"body":"that you see as oppositional and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.0,"endTime":1475.0,"body":"bringing them into wholeness and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.0,"endTime":1475.0,"body":"seeing if they can coexist, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1475.0,"endTime":1478.6599999999999,"body":"how they can coexist. So that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1475.0,"endTime":1478.6599999999999,"body":"kind of what I'm doing at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1478.6599999999999,"endTime":1482.1699999999998,"body":"moment, I'm sort of creating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1478.6599999999999,"endTime":1482.1699999999998,"body":"this space for me to see where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1482.1699999999998,"endTime":1486.25,"body":"all of my pieces can coexist and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1482.1699999999998,"endTime":1486.25,"body":"what that might look like. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1486.25,"endTime":1488.8,"body":"like I said, it's so cool that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1486.25,"endTime":1488.8,"body":"I've been able to build a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1488.8,"endTime":1491.8899999999999,"body":"business that supports me in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1488.8,"endTime":1491.8899999999999,"body":"whichever season I'm in and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1491.8899999999999,"endTime":1495.25,"body":"can dial it up and I can dial it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1491.8899999999999,"endTime":1495.25,"body":"back. And I can do all of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1495.25,"endTime":1498.4599999999998,"body":"cool things. And I can go I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1495.25,"endTime":1498.4599999999998,"body":"go home and be with my family."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1498.4599999999998,"endTime":1501.9099999999999,"body":"And if that's the season I'm in,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1498.4599999999998,"endTime":1501.9099999999999,"body":"I can do that. Like, again,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1502.06,"endTime":1504.76,"body":"beautiful, beautiful part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1502.06,"endTime":1504.76,"body":"owning an online coaching"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1504.76,"endTime":1508.0,"body":"business. 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It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1535.48,"endTime":1540.9099999999999,"body":"kind of like I always use the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1535.48,"endTime":1540.9099999999999,"body":"analogy of being in the bush. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1540.9399999999998,"endTime":1545.9199999999998,"body":"the marshes before a butterfly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1540.9399999999998,"endTime":1545.9199999999998,"body":"becomes a butterfly. It's in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1545.9199999999998,"endTime":1548.8899999999999,"body":"them Wash, it's in a cocoon,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1545.9199999999998,"endTime":1548.8899999999999,"body":"like it was once just it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.8899999999999,"endTime":1552.8799999999999,"body":"once a caterpillar. And it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.8899999999999,"endTime":1552.8799999999999,"body":"now a caterpillar, but it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1552.8799999999999,"endTime":1555.37,"body":"quite a butterfly. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1552.8799999999999,"endTime":1555.37,"body":"doesn't know that it's meant to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1555.37,"endTime":1558.6999999999998,"body":"become a butterfly. But it's in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1555.37,"endTime":1558.6999999999998,"body":"this holding, it's, it's in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1558.6999999999998,"endTime":1562.03,"body":"middle, and it's just the bush,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1558.6999999999998,"endTime":1562.03,"body":"and the bush is beautiful. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1562.03,"endTime":1566.05,"body":"sometimes it feels a little bit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1562.03,"endTime":1566.05,"body":"like what is going on. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1566.05,"endTime":1568.87,"body":"kind of how I feel I've got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1566.05,"endTime":1568.87,"body":"these oppositional and they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1568.87,"endTime":1571.8999999999999,"body":"not oppositional again, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1568.87,"endTime":1571.8999999999999,"body":"everything coexists beautifully"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1571.8999999999999,"endTime":1574.6899999999998,"body":"for a reason. But it's like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1571.8999999999999,"endTime":1574.6899999999998,"body":"what I'm,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1574.87,"endTime":1578.4699999999998,"body":"what I'm sitting with at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1574.87,"endTime":1578.4699999999998,"body":"moment is how do I make these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1578.4699999999998,"endTime":1583.48,"body":"oppositional parts exist at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1578.4699999999998,"endTime":1583.48,"body":"same time and without being at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.48,"endTime":1588.01,"body":"war, without the it needing to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.48,"endTime":1588.01,"body":"be a problem? 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It's making"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1598.27,"endTime":1601.48,"body":"decisions, like, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1598.27,"endTime":1601.48,"body":"what kind of mum I will be, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1601.48,"endTime":1604.6599999999999,"body":"don't know how present I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1601.48,"endTime":1604.6599999999999,"body":"like want to be, I might want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.6599999999999,"endTime":1607.2099999999998,"body":"come straight back to work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.6599999999999,"endTime":1607.2099999999998,"body":"straightaway, I don't know. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.2099999999998,"endTime":1610.57,"body":"I'm giving myself freedom. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.2099999999998,"endTime":1610.57,"body":"then I'm also making decisions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1610.57,"endTime":1614.77,"body":"right now, based on a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1610.57,"endTime":1614.77,"body":"unknowns. And so all I can do is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1614.77,"endTime":1618.6699999999998,"body":"work with what I've currently"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1614.77,"endTime":1618.6699999999998,"body":"got, and change and adapt as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.6699999999998,"endTime":1622.03,"body":"things grow and evolve, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.6699999999998,"endTime":1622.03,"body":"the only constant in life is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1622.03,"endTime":1624.6999999999998,"body":"change. And I've known that for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1622.03,"endTime":1624.6999999999998,"body":"a long time. 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That is just the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1633.25,"endTime":1638.9199999999998,"body":"cyclical nature of us as humans."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1633.25,"endTime":1638.9199999999998,"body":"And so what I'm in is creating a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.9199999999998,"endTime":1642.82,"body":"business right now for what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.9199999999998,"endTime":1642.82,"body":"currently want, and designing it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1642.85,"endTime":1647.56,"body":"in a way where I can let both"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1642.85,"endTime":1647.56,"body":"parts of my personality and my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1647.56,"endTime":1652.27,"body":"values and my lifestyle wants to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1647.56,"endTime":1652.27,"body":"both be possible. So I'm just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1652.27,"endTime":1654.37,"body":"sort of sitting with what would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1652.27,"endTime":1654.37,"body":"it look like if I could have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1654.37,"endTime":1658.06,"body":"both. And that gets to be one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1654.37,"endTime":1658.06,"body":"way to do it when you feel like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.06,"endTime":1661.36,"body":"you've got oppositional sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.06,"endTime":1661.36,"body":"frequencies within you or once"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1661.36,"endTime":1663.85,"body":"within you. And you do want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1661.36,"endTime":1663.85,"body":"both? And that feels very true"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.85,"endTime":1667.09,"body":"to you like you want both? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.85,"endTime":1667.09,"body":"that if that feels like your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.09,"endTime":1670.12,"body":"truth, then I would start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.09,"endTime":1670.12,"body":"contemplate as I have, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1670.12,"endTime":1673.3,"body":"would it look like to have both?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1670.12,"endTime":1673.3,"body":"What if both could coexist? How"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1673.3,"endTime":1676.9599999999998,"body":"would that be and start to just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1673.3,"endTime":1676.9599999999998,"body":"play around with that? The other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1676.9599999999998,"endTime":1681.8799999999999,"body":"thing is, it is also possible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1676.9599999999998,"endTime":1681.8799999999999,"body":"that maybe it's actually just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.8799999999999,"endTime":1685.4199999999998,"body":"that you are starting to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.8799999999999,"endTime":1685.4199999999998,"body":"transition out of a version of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.4199999999998,"endTime":1689.35,"body":"yourself to become someone new."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.4199999999998,"endTime":1689.35,"body":"And that actually can feel like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1689.35,"endTime":1693.6699999999998,"body":"a little bit of discomfort and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1689.35,"endTime":1693.6699999999998,"body":"grief and loss. And it's like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1693.6999999999998,"endTime":1696.6399999999999,"body":"oh, maybe I'm just not that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1693.6999999999998,"endTime":1696.6399999999999,"body":"person anymore. And what I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1696.6399999999999,"endTime":1700.1499999999999,"body":"now is so different to what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1696.6399999999999,"endTime":1700.1499999999999,"body":"thought I wanted. And that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1700.1499999999999,"endTime":1703.1499999999999,"body":"brings up a whole new load of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1700.1499999999999,"endTime":1703.1499999999999,"body":"like, oh, what does this mean"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1703.1499999999999,"endTime":1706.0,"body":"about me? Who am I, you lose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1703.1499999999999,"endTime":1706.0,"body":"your identity. And this is where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.0,"endTime":1708.6999999999998,"body":"it's almost like, if you're in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.0,"endTime":1708.6999999999998,"body":"the mosh and you're in that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1708.6999999999998,"endTime":1712.3899999999999,"body":"becoming phase of building"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1708.6999999999998,"endTime":1712.3899999999999,"body":"yourself to create something new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1712.3899999999999,"endTime":1716.02,"body":"to be someone new, it's also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1712.3899999999999,"endTime":1716.02,"body":"very common that what might come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1716.02,"endTime":1720.2199999999998,"body":"up is a bit of sadness or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1716.02,"endTime":1720.2199999999998,"body":"confusion or loss, because it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1720.2199999999998,"endTime":1723.04,"body":"an identity of it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1720.2199999999998,"endTime":1723.04,"body":"rebuilding, it's a rebuilding of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1723.04,"endTime":1726.6399999999999,"body":"what's important to you. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1723.04,"endTime":1726.6399999999999,"body":"it's almost uncomfortable to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1726.6399999999999,"endTime":1729.6999999999998,"body":"admit that the things that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1726.6399999999999,"endTime":1729.6999999999998,"body":"thought you once wanted, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1729.6999999999998,"endTime":1732.9099999999999,"body":"don't want the things that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1729.6999999999998,"endTime":1732.9099999999999,"body":"said were really important to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1732.9099999999999,"endTime":1736.57,"body":"you are actually just not. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1732.9099999999999,"endTime":1736.57,"body":"so that can come with its own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1736.57,"endTime":1741.34,"body":"sort of stuff, which is really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1736.57,"endTime":1741.34,"body":"just like a transition of an old"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1741.34,"endTime":1746.05,"body":"part is just not there anymore."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1741.34,"endTime":1746.05,"body":"And that's okay, it still exists"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1746.05,"endTime":1749.77,"body":"within you. And you can still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1746.05,"endTime":1749.77,"body":"call it back as you need to. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1749.77,"endTime":1751.81,"body":"maybe it's just coming to terms"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1749.77,"endTime":1751.81,"body":"with the fact that like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1751.81,"endTime":1754.33,"body":"actually, I don't really care"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1751.81,"endTime":1754.33,"body":"for that anymore. I don't want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1754.33,"endTime":1757.3899999999999,"body":"that I'm different. I've changed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1754.33,"endTime":1757.3899999999999,"body":"and seeing what comes up there."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1757.8999999999999,"endTime":1761.02,"body":"So I think there's like two ways"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1757.8999999999999,"endTime":1761.02,"body":"that this can come about when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1761.23,"endTime":1764.74,"body":"you feel different parts of you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1761.23,"endTime":1764.74,"body":"at quote, conflict. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1764.74,"endTime":1767.9199999999998,"body":"okay, if it feels like you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1764.74,"endTime":1767.9199999999998,"body":"really do want two things at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1767.9199999999998,"endTime":1771.9099999999999,"body":"once, can they coexist? And can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1767.9199999999998,"endTime":1771.9099999999999,"body":"you make that work? Or is it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1771.9099999999999,"endTime":1775.51,"body":"actually that it's it's actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1771.9099999999999,"endTime":1775.51,"body":"just letting go of one thing and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1775.51,"endTime":1778.51,"body":"seeing if that's actually the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1775.51,"endTime":1778.51,"body":"issue here? Like it's, it's more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1778.51,"endTime":1783.6399999999999,"body":"of a, it's not so much I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1778.51,"endTime":1783.6399999999999,"body":"things it's i I'm saying goodbye"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1783.6399999999999,"endTime":1786.04,"body":"to one thing, and that feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1783.6399999999999,"endTime":1786.04,"body":"really hard. That's the closing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1786.04,"endTime":1789.55,"body":"of a chapter and that feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1786.04,"endTime":1789.55,"body":"hard. So it could be either I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1789.55,"endTime":1792.1899999999998,"body":"not sure. And I don't even know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1789.55,"endTime":1792.1899999999998,"body":"if you would resonate with being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1792.1899999999998,"endTime":1795.31,"body":"in the mosh, but I'm sure well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1792.1899999999998,"endTime":1795.31,"body":"I know as a human, you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1795.31,"endTime":1798.3999999999999,"body":"definitely felt the mush before."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1795.31,"endTime":1798.3999999999999,"body":"It's like that contraction"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.3999999999999,"endTime":1801.4299999999998,"body":"before you expand before you go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.3999999999999,"endTime":1801.4299999999998,"body":"grow your butterfly wings. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1801.4299999999998,"endTime":1805.06,"body":"so that's kind of where I'm at."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1801.4299999999998,"endTime":1805.06,"body":"This is the diary that I didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1805.06,"endTime":1809.4099999999999,"body":"feel like I didn't even know I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1805.06,"endTime":1809.4099999999999,"body":"was recording. So I like I said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1809.4399999999998,"endTime":1811.8999999999999,"body":"I think what's come of this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1809.4399999999998,"endTime":1811.8999999999999,"body":"honour your feelings to an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.8999999999999,"endTime":1815.74,"body":"extent. But also know that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.8999999999999,"endTime":1815.74,"body":"sometimes feelings are fleeting."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.74,"endTime":1818.11,"body":"And the best thing you can do is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.74,"endTime":1818.11,"body":"follow through on your non"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1818.11,"endTime":1821.62,"body":"negotiables. And then the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1818.11,"endTime":1821.62,"body":"piece is if you're like me, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.62,"endTime":1824.62,"body":"you're sort of in an in between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.62,"endTime":1824.62,"body":"phase and it could also be like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1824.62,"endTime":1827.4699999999998,"body":"it's just the end of the year"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1824.62,"endTime":1827.4699999999998,"body":"and it's just for me also, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1827.5,"endTime":1830.4099999999999,"body":"I'm just so ready to take some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1827.5,"endTime":1830.4099999999999,"body":"time off and it's been a really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1830.4099999999999,"endTime":1834.9399999999998,"body":"big year. It's been so intense,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1830.4099999999999,"endTime":1834.9399999999998,"body":"so hectic that I just can feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1834.9399999999998,"endTime":1838.81,"body":"that I'm going into a season of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1834.9399999999998,"endTime":1838.81,"body":"exhale. And that feels really,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.81,"endTime":1842.56,"body":"really good. So again, what that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.81,"endTime":1842.56,"body":"means is I'm just getting things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.56,"endTime":1845.02,"body":"ready. I'm just preparing for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.56,"endTime":1845.02,"body":"the future that I want to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.02,"endTime":1847.4199999999998,"body":"and that means I'll put Really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.02,"endTime":1847.4199999999998,"body":"spend the next month or two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1847.4199999999998,"endTime":1850.51,"body":"batching getting everything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1847.4199999999998,"endTime":1850.51,"body":"ready so that I'm ahead so that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.51,"endTime":1854.35,"body":"I can really honour that feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.51,"endTime":1854.35,"body":"of wanting to just enjoy summer."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.35,"endTime":1858.85,"body":"So this is just a big Dear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.35,"endTime":1858.85,"body":"Diary, I would love to know if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1858.8799999999999,"endTime":1862.36,"body":"this dear diary is of any use to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1858.8799999999999,"endTime":1862.36,"body":"you if you resonate with any of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.36,"endTime":1865.09,"body":"it. If any of it has helped you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.36,"endTime":1865.09,"body":"I might actually start thinking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1865.09,"endTime":1868.99,"body":"about doing some deep diary"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1865.09,"endTime":1868.99,"body":"style podcasts more frequently."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.7099999999998,"endTime":1871.84,"body":"But that's all for me today. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.7099999999998,"endTime":1871.84,"body":"hope you're having a great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1871.84,"endTime":1874.1499999999999,"body":"November and I will see you next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1871.84,"endTime":1874.1499999999999,"body":"week. Bye."}]}