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It could be like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":499.259,"endTime":501.989,"body":"being disrespected or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":501.989,"endTime":505.829,"body":"humiliated, and laughing along"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":501.989,"endTime":505.829,"body":"with it, like not speaking up,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":505.829,"endTime":510.209,"body":"like it can be those big things,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":505.829,"endTime":510.209,"body":"where you just feel like you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":510.209,"endTime":513.869,"body":"always allowing people to treat"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":510.209,"endTime":513.869,"body":"you in ways that doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":513.869,"endTime":517.919,"body":"actually feel good to you, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":513.869,"endTime":517.919,"body":"your life is feeling like it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":517.919,"endTime":521.339,"body":"for everybody else, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":517.919,"endTime":521.339,"body":"you're still really trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":521.339,"endTime":525.389,"body":"please others. And that has huge"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":521.339,"endTime":525.389,"body":"impacts huge, huge, huge"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":525.419,"endTime":529.109,"body":"impacts, which, obviously, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":525.419,"endTime":529.109,"body":"know, it impacts your happiness,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":529.109,"endTime":533.219,"body":"your satisfaction, it's your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":529.109,"endTime":533.219,"body":"fucking life. Like, I obviously"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":533.219,"endTime":536.369,"body":"get very wound up about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":533.219,"endTime":536.369,"body":"because I truly believe that the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":536.369,"endTime":540.659,"body":"only thing we're given that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":536.369,"endTime":540.659,"body":"can never give back is our time."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":540.959,"endTime":543.869,"body":"And if we don't enjoy the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":540.959,"endTime":543.869,"body":"we're spending our time, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":543.869,"endTime":547.259,"body":"we're spending our time in a way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":543.869,"endTime":547.259,"body":"that's to please other people."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.439,"endTime":551.369,"body":"That's not a life well spent."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.439,"endTime":551.369,"body":"And so, of course it has impacts"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.369,"endTime":554.939,"body":"on you. But it also impacts your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.369,"endTime":554.939,"body":"relationships. It impacts your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":554.939,"endTime":558.419,"body":"relationships, it impacts your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":554.939,"endTime":558.419,"body":"physical health, it impacts so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":558.419,"endTime":561.149,"body":"much to be people pleasing. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":558.419,"endTime":561.149,"body":"that's why I think this is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":561.149,"endTime":565.349,"body":"really important conversation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":561.149,"endTime":565.349,"body":"But also people pleasing can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":565.349,"endTime":569.489,"body":"show can show up in these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":565.349,"endTime":569.489,"body":"smaller kind of hidden ways that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":569.489,"endTime":573.689,"body":"are a little bit nuanced, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":569.489,"endTime":573.689,"body":"that aren't as easy to spot. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":573.689,"endTime":576.149,"body":"this is where it could be little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":573.689,"endTime":576.149,"body":"things like if you have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.149,"endTime":580.619,"body":"business and you go to write a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.149,"endTime":580.619,"body":"real spicy piece of content, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.619,"endTime":583.679,"body":"then you find yourself sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.619,"endTime":583.679,"body":"holding back because or that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":583.679,"endTime":586.859,"body":"words a little bit too"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":583.679,"endTime":586.859,"body":"confronting or this might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":586.859,"endTime":590.249,"body":"actually people might disagree"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":586.859,"endTime":590.249,"body":"with me. And so you kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.249,"endTime":593.609,"body":"water yourself down a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.249,"endTime":593.609,"body":"bit. That can be a form of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":593.609,"endTime":597.509,"body":"people pleasing, or even if it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":593.609,"endTime":597.509,"body":"like you're a coach or maybe you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":597.509,"endTime":601.169,"body":"work with humans and rather than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":597.509,"endTime":601.169,"body":"this Seeing something that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":601.169,"endTime":606.239,"body":"know, your client or the human"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":601.169,"endTime":606.239,"body":"in front of you actually needs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":606.239,"endTime":609.389,"body":"to hear because it's for their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":606.239,"endTime":609.389,"body":"highest good, but it might be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":609.389,"endTime":613.619,"body":"uncomfortable. Rather than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":609.389,"endTime":613.619,"body":"saying it, you actually just let"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.619,"endTime":617.969,"body":"them you sort of turn a blind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.619,"endTime":617.969,"body":"eye because you're like, ah, I'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":617.969,"endTime":621.689,"body":"rather opt for being liked, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":617.969,"endTime":621.689,"body":"giving them what they actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.689,"endTime":624.539,"body":"need, and letting them have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.689,"endTime":624.539,"body":"their own process with that for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.539,"endTime":627.989,"body":"a moment. It could be things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.539,"endTime":627.989,"body":"like, if you have a business,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.019,"endTime":632.579,"body":"letting clients run the show,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.019,"endTime":632.579,"body":"like your, you don't really even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.609,"endTime":636.479,"body":"pay attention to your own time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.609,"endTime":636.479,"body":"boundaries. And every single"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.509,"endTime":640.109,"body":"session maybe goes over time, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.509,"endTime":640.109,"body":"clients don't show up and you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":640.109,"endTime":644.309,"body":"let them rebook or clients don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":640.109,"endTime":644.309,"body":"pay. And you still go ahead with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":644.309,"endTime":647.009,"body":"the session. Like you're letting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":644.309,"endTime":647.009,"body":"clients, you're people pleasing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.009,"endTime":650.489,"body":"your clients, and you're letting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.009,"endTime":650.489,"body":"them run the show. It could be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":650.519,"endTime":653.729,"body":"little things like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":650.519,"endTime":653.729,"body":"out and about laughing at things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.729,"endTime":656.219,"body":"that you actually find it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.729,"endTime":656.219,"body":"offensive, but just going along"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":656.219,"endTime":660.059,"body":"with the laughter, it's these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":656.219,"endTime":660.059,"body":"tiny little things, saying, Yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.059,"endTime":663.029,"body":"I'll do that, yes, putting your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.059,"endTime":663.029,"body":"hand up. Or if someone asks you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":663.209,"endTime":666.089,"body":"if you want to go somewhere, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":663.209,"endTime":666.089,"body":"say, yes. If someone says, What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.089,"endTime":668.429,"body":"do you want to do, you're like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.089,"endTime":668.429,"body":"I don't mind, I'm chill, I'll go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":668.429,"endTime":672.569,"body":"with the flow. It's this real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":668.429,"endTime":672.569,"body":"like, sort of frequency of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":672.569,"endTime":676.499,"body":"sacrificing itself sacrifice,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":672.569,"endTime":676.499,"body":"because you want to keep the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":676.499,"endTime":679.559,"body":"peace, because you want to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":676.499,"endTime":679.559,"body":"sure that you're being liked."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.649,"endTime":682.409,"body":"You want to make sure that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.649,"endTime":682.409,"body":"everything between you and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":682.409,"endTime":686.039,"body":"another person is kosher,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":682.409,"endTime":686.039,"body":"there's no weird frequency, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.039,"endTime":688.499,"body":"want to make sure that you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.039,"endTime":688.499,"body":"being perceived as a good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":688.499,"endTime":694.079,"body":"person. And so why you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":688.499,"endTime":694.079,"body":"actually doing it can be so many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":694.079,"endTime":697.259,"body":"different reasons. And of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":694.079,"endTime":697.259,"body":"course, every unique case, every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.259,"endTime":700.859,"body":"human has a unique background"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.259,"endTime":700.859,"body":"and set of circumstances and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":700.859,"endTime":704.549,"body":"upbringing and childhood and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":700.859,"endTime":704.549,"body":"memories which contribute to how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.549,"endTime":711.299,"body":"safe we feel, to speak up to use"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.549,"endTime":711.299,"body":"our voice to say our truth, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":711.329,"endTime":715.529,"body":"say what we need to be someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":711.329,"endTime":715.529,"body":"who actually will not self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":715.529,"endTime":719.609,"body":"sacrifice, we all have varying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":715.529,"endTime":719.609,"body":"degrees of tolerance. And that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.609,"endTime":722.369,"body":"like I said, is really dependent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.609,"endTime":722.369,"body":"on you. And each case is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":722.369,"endTime":725.519,"body":"different. So there's lots of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":722.369,"endTime":725.519,"body":"reasons you might be doing it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.759,"endTime":728.249,"body":"And I'm going to go through a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.759,"endTime":728.249,"body":"few reasons why you might be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":728.249,"endTime":731.699,"body":"doing it purely so that it makes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":728.249,"endTime":731.699,"body":"logical sense to you. And you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.699,"endTime":737.429,"body":"can see the cause. However, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.699,"endTime":737.429,"body":"also very big on you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":737.459,"endTime":741.269,"body":"always need to know why you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":737.459,"endTime":741.269,"body":"doing things. We don't need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.269,"endTime":744.449,"body":"go down this huge rabbit hole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.269,"endTime":744.449,"body":"all the time and distract"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.449,"endTime":748.259,"body":"ourselves in like this quest for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.449,"endTime":748.259,"body":"all why am I like this? What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.259,"endTime":752.249,"body":"happened in my childhood? What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.259,"endTime":752.249,"body":"can I unpack? Why am I lalalala,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.399,"endTime":755.999,"body":"what's actually really important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.399,"endTime":755.999,"body":"is, oh, I can see that I can I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.999,"endTime":758.999,"body":"doing this thing. And now I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.999,"endTime":758.999,"body":"going to choose differently."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.359,"endTime":763.139,"body":"That's actually how easy it gets"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.359,"endTime":763.139,"body":"to be. What I've seen happen in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.139,"endTime":766.049,"body":"the personal development space"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.139,"endTime":766.049,"body":"and the mindset space in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":766.049,"endTime":769.649,"body":"coaching space is that we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":766.049,"endTime":769.649,"body":"spend a long time being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":769.649,"endTime":772.739,"body":"distracted in going back and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":769.649,"endTime":772.739,"body":"trawling through memories, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.739,"endTime":776.939,"body":"then some people become a victim"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.739,"endTime":776.939,"body":"to the past. Some people use the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.939,"endTime":780.539,"body":"childhood, the memory, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.939,"endTime":780.539,"body":"experience, as a reason and a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":780.539,"endTime":783.749,"body":"justification for why a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":780.539,"endTime":783.749,"body":"behaviour or pattern can occur."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":784.049,"endTime":787.649,"body":"As opposed to going, Ah, I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":784.049,"endTime":787.649,"body":"seen this pattern that I no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.649,"endTime":790.619,"body":"longer want to hold on to, I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.649,"endTime":790.619,"body":"seen this behaviour that no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.619,"endTime":792.839,"body":"longer serves me. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.619,"endTime":792.839,"body":"actually just going to choose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":792.839,"endTime":795.389,"body":"differently. And it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":792.839,"endTime":795.389,"body":"matter where it came from, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.389,"endTime":799.019,"body":"why what matters is how I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.389,"endTime":799.019,"body":"to respond to it and what I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.019,"endTime":803.429,"body":"going to choose now. So with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.019,"endTime":803.429,"body":"that in mind, I will go through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":803.429,"endTime":806.849,"body":"just a few little ways or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":803.429,"endTime":806.849,"body":"reasons that you might be doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.849,"endTime":811.139,"body":"it. And you might just find this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.849,"endTime":811.139,"body":"quite validating. But also, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":811.139,"endTime":815.999,"body":"I said, it's not about needing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":811.139,"endTime":815.999,"body":"to know why and especially not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":815.999,"endTime":819.629,"body":"about our I don't feel it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":815.999,"endTime":819.629,"body":"about blame and victimhood it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.629,"endTime":824.639,"body":"never about a poor me, I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.629,"endTime":824.639,"body":"get to I feel very unsafe to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":824.699,"endTime":828.599,"body":"have confrontation because my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":824.699,"endTime":828.599,"body":"dad never allowed me to blah, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.629,"endTime":832.049,"body":"poor me, I was always praised"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.629,"endTime":832.049,"body":"for being a good girl, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":832.079,"endTime":836.189,"body":"therefore it's my parents fault,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":832.079,"endTime":836.189,"body":"or or whatever. It's not that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.189,"endTime":839.459,"body":"just never the vibe, it's never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.189,"endTime":839.459,"body":"the frequency. However,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.639,"endTime":843.989,"body":"sometimes when you understand"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.639,"endTime":843.989,"body":"why things play out, it helps"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":843.989,"endTime":849.209,"body":"you to actually not go into why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":843.989,"endTime":849.209,"body":"am I like this, I'm broken. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.209,"endTime":853.559,"body":"some fault in me, it actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.209,"endTime":853.559,"body":"makes perfect logical sense why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.559,"endTime":856.799,"body":"you are the way you are, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.559,"endTime":856.799,"body":"anyone else who went through the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":856.799,"endTime":859.079,"body":"same things as you would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":856.799,"endTime":859.079,"body":"probably have the exact same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":859.079,"endTime":862.589,"body":"patterns. So for that reason, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":859.079,"endTime":862.589,"body":"can be quite empowering. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":862.589,"endTime":864.959,"body":"like I said, it's really more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":862.589,"endTime":864.959,"body":"about what you choose to do with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":864.959,"endTime":869.489,"body":"it and how you want to respond."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":864.959,"endTime":869.489,"body":"So obviously there is all of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":870.269,"endTime":874.499,"body":"obvious and kind of societal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":870.269,"endTime":874.499,"body":"reasons why we people please and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":874.529,"endTime":877.529,"body":"for a lot of women in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":874.529,"endTime":877.529,"body":"particular, the conditioning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.529,"endTime":880.469,"body":"starts really young, right? We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.529,"endTime":880.469,"body":"hear about being the good girl,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.619,"endTime":883.799,"body":"like oh, good girl, you're being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.619,"endTime":883.799,"body":"such a good girl. We always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.799,"endTime":887.759,"body":"praise little girls who, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.799,"endTime":887.759,"body":"know, do as they're told they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":887.759,"endTime":891.059,"body":"put their hand up in class."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":887.759,"endTime":891.059,"body":"They're very polite, they help"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.059,"endTime":895.679,"body":"other people. We hear language"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.059,"endTime":895.679,"body":"which is praised in society"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.709,"endTime":901.019,"body":"about being selfless, like how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.709,"endTime":901.019,"body":"often do we glamorise As and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":901.049,"endTime":905.669,"body":"hold up in high regard humans"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":901.049,"endTime":905.669,"body":"who are selfless humans who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":905.669,"endTime":909.089,"body":"sacrifice their needs. For"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":905.669,"endTime":909.089,"body":"others, it's actually painted in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":909.089,"endTime":913.799,"body":"a really positive light, which I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":909.089,"endTime":913.799,"body":"find very fucking interesting."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.979,"endTime":918.179,"body":"Because to me, self sacrifice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.979,"endTime":918.179,"body":"and martyrdom is actually a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":918.179,"endTime":921.419,"body":"breeding ground for resent. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":918.179,"endTime":921.419,"body":"I don't think it's always a very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":921.419,"endTime":925.169,"body":"healthy thing. So obviously,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":921.419,"endTime":925.169,"body":"there's the larger societal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":925.169,"endTime":930.509,"body":"things about being good about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":925.169,"endTime":930.509,"body":"sacrifice about being selfless"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":930.509,"endTime":934.529,"body":"as a really positive thing. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":930.509,"endTime":934.529,"body":"also, you might have grown up in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.529,"endTime":939.119,"body":"a childhood or in an environment"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.529,"endTime":939.119,"body":"where you were praised for how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.119,"endTime":941.849,"body":"good you were how much you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.119,"endTime":941.849,"body":"helped people, you might have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.849,"endTime":945.299,"body":"got all of your praise and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.849,"endTime":945.299,"body":"started to create a bit of an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.299,"endTime":949.949,"body":"identity around being the person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.299,"endTime":949.949,"body":"who thinks about everybody else,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.159,"endTime":953.789,"body":"you might have grown up in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.159,"endTime":953.789,"body":"family where using your voice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.789,"endTime":959.009,"body":"asking questions, or any kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.789,"endTime":959.009,"body":"confrontation was actually not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":959.009,"endTime":962.999,"body":"normalised. And therefore,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":959.009,"endTime":962.999,"body":"confrontation or speaking up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.119,"endTime":967.139,"body":"feels like an extreme edge for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.119,"endTime":967.139,"body":"you. It might be that you were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.139,"endTime":971.339,"body":"actually punished for being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.139,"endTime":971.339,"body":"selfish, punished for not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.339,"endTime":975.119,"body":"helping punished for asking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.339,"endTime":975.119,"body":"questions, putting your needs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.119,"endTime":978.599,"body":"first, etc. And so what happens"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.119,"endTime":978.599,"body":"then is that it doesn't feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.599,"endTime":983.579,"body":"safe, it doesn't feel safe at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.599,"endTime":983.579,"body":"all, for you to quit people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.579,"endTime":988.529,"body":"pleasing and start putting your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.579,"endTime":988.529,"body":"needs first. So there's also a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.529,"endTime":992.249,"body":"whole other sort of realm where,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.529,"endTime":992.249,"body":"if you've experienced a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.249,"endTime":995.219,"body":"traumatic childhood, if you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.249,"endTime":995.219,"body":"had lots of traumatic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.219,"endTime":1000.559,"body":"experiences, as we know, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.219,"endTime":1000.559,"body":"respond to trauma in many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1000.559,"endTime":1003.379,"body":"different ways, everybody is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1000.559,"endTime":1003.379,"body":"different. Everybody even has a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1003.379,"endTime":1006.979,"body":"different response to traumatic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1003.379,"endTime":1006.979,"body":"experiences, because for some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1006.979,"endTime":1011.029,"body":"people, a traumatic experience"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1006.979,"endTime":1011.029,"body":"will create a fight response,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.029,"endTime":1014.749,"body":"which is where exactly as the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.029,"endTime":1014.749,"body":"name suggests, it's that like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1015.019,"endTime":1020.119,"body":"defensive energy, it's this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1015.019,"endTime":1020.119,"body":"real, aggravated agitated,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1020.119,"endTime":1024.709,"body":"defensive, I'm going to fight"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1020.119,"endTime":1024.709,"body":"this situation, other people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.709,"endTime":1028.159,"body":"will freeze where they'll shut"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.709,"endTime":1028.159,"body":"down, and they won't be able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.189,"endTime":1032.149,"body":"respond. And then there is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.189,"endTime":1032.149,"body":"foreign response, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.179,"endTime":1036.499,"body":"another response to trauma,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.179,"endTime":1036.499,"body":"which is to be hyper, hyper"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1036.499,"endTime":1040.489,"body":"vigilant, and to be able to, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1036.499,"endTime":1040.489,"body":"I want to say, which I'll get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1040.489,"endTime":1044.659,"body":"in a moment, every single"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1040.489,"endTime":1044.659,"body":"response, every mechanism,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.689,"endTime":1049.879,"body":"coping mechanism, it's exactly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.689,"endTime":1049.879,"body":"that it's a coping mechanism,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1095.9789999999998,"endTime":1099.759,"body":"and it's worked to help you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1095.9789999999998,"endTime":1099.759,"body":"cope. Sometimes if we want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.759,"endTime":1102.789,"body":"look at it through this lens,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.759,"endTime":1102.789,"body":"the way that we've responded to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1102.789,"endTime":1107.349,"body":"traumas in the past, even if it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1102.789,"endTime":1107.349,"body":"is to form and to form is to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1107.349,"endTime":1111.9689999999998,"body":"hyper vigilant to be assessing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1107.349,"endTime":1111.9689999999998,"body":"all scenarios and micro gestures"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.9689999999998,"endTime":1116.319,"body":"for changes in energy. And what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.9689999999998,"endTime":1116.319,"body":"that does is it allows you to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1116.319,"endTime":1120.7289999999998,"body":"who you need to be to not have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1116.319,"endTime":1120.7289999999998,"body":"to experience abuse, trauma,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.7289999999998,"endTime":1125.1689999999999,"body":"etc. So what you do is you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.7289999999998,"endTime":1125.1689999999999,"body":"become very, very, very good at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1125.1689999999999,"endTime":1128.9489999999998,"body":"reading energies at being who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1125.1689999999999,"endTime":1128.9489999999998,"body":"you need to be at, at people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1128.9489999999998,"endTime":1132.099,"body":"pleasing, essentially, as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1128.9489999999998,"endTime":1132.099,"body":"trauma response, which is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1132.099,"endTime":1135.549,"body":"protection mechanism. So that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1132.099,"endTime":1135.549,"body":"you don't have to experience"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1135.549,"endTime":1140.9489999999998,"body":"that same circumstance again. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1135.549,"endTime":1140.9489999999998,"body":"again, it can actually be an is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1140.9789999999998,"endTime":1145.6889999999999,"body":"a coping mechanism. And if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1140.9789999999998,"endTime":1145.6889999999999,"body":"look at the Golden side, or the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1145.6889999999999,"endTime":1150.369,"body":"positive of having developed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1145.6889999999999,"endTime":1150.369,"body":"people pleasing and forming as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1150.369,"endTime":1153.9689999999998,"body":"response, you are, you are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1150.369,"endTime":1153.9689999999998,"body":"probably someone who's developed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1153.9989999999998,"endTime":1156.9389999999999,"body":"an incredible skill set at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1153.9989999999998,"endTime":1156.9389999999999,"body":"reading energies, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.9389999999999,"endTime":1159.9989999999998,"body":"probably highly empathetic,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.9389999999999,"endTime":1159.9989999999998,"body":"you're probably someone who can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.9989999999998,"endTime":1164.619,"body":"tell what other people need and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.9989999999998,"endTime":1164.619,"body":"want. And of course, there is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1164.619,"endTime":1167.799,"body":"some great parts to this. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1164.619,"endTime":1167.799,"body":"not about everything about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1167.799,"endTime":1172.2389999999998,"body":"people pleasing is terrible. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1167.799,"endTime":1172.2389999999998,"body":"you have developed this as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.2389999999998,"endTime":1175.809,"body":"mechanism, there's probably some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.2389999999998,"endTime":1175.809,"body":"pieces of it that's actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.2289999999998,"endTime":1179.559,"body":"strengthened to some of your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.2289999999998,"endTime":1179.559,"body":"skills and techniques in reading"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1179.559,"endTime":1183.579,"body":"humans. And so we can look at it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1179.559,"endTime":1183.579,"body":"that way. But then we can decide"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1183.7289999999998,"endTime":1187.389,"body":"to take what's good and to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1183.7289999999998,"endTime":1187.389,"body":"discard what what's no longer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1187.389,"endTime":1191.7389999999998,"body":"serving us. And so, like I said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1187.389,"endTime":1191.7389999999998,"body":"there's lots and lots and lots"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1191.7389999999998,"endTime":1195.759,"body":"of different, what reasons why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1191.7389999999998,"endTime":1195.759,"body":"you might be doing it. But as I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1195.759,"endTime":1199.269,"body":"said at the beginning, it's this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1195.759,"endTime":1199.269,"body":"is more about, okay, but how is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.269,"endTime":1204.039,"body":"it serving you? What happens"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.269,"endTime":1204.039,"body":"after? And is it time to start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.039,"endTime":1209.7089999999998,"body":"to create some space between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.039,"endTime":1209.7089999999998,"body":"your conditioned response, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.7089999999998,"endTime":1213.1889999999999,"body":"is to automatically say yes, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.7089999999998,"endTime":1213.1889999999999,"body":"to automatically go along along"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.1889999999999,"endTime":1217.359,"body":"with things or to automatically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.1889999999999,"endTime":1217.359,"body":"do what's expected? Is it time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1217.359,"endTime":1221.319,"body":"to create some space between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1217.359,"endTime":1221.319,"body":"your automatic behaviour and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1221.319,"endTime":1224.9489999999998,"body":"what you want to choose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1221.319,"endTime":1224.9489999999998,"body":"differently? So what do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1224.9489999999998,"endTime":1228.819,"body":"actually need to do about it?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1224.9489999999998,"endTime":1228.819,"body":"So, first of all, I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.849,"endTime":1232.089,"body":"speak to something which might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.849,"endTime":1232.089,"body":"actually just help you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1232.089,"endTime":1236.589,"body":"reframe, or to see this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1232.089,"endTime":1236.589,"body":"behaviour for what it actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.589,"endTime":1241.7489999999998,"body":"is and what it actually does. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.589,"endTime":1241.7489999999998,"body":"while it might feel like and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.7489999999998,"endTime":1245.2289999999998,"body":"seem like on the on the outside"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.7489999999998,"endTime":1245.2289999999998,"body":"looking in, or that person so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.2289999999998,"endTime":1248.019,"body":"selfless, that person Psalm does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.2289999999998,"endTime":1248.019,"body":"so much for everybody else, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1248.019,"endTime":1251.769,"body":"person, you know, etc, etc."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1248.019,"endTime":1251.769,"body":"What's going on for the people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1251.769,"endTime":1256.029,"body":"pleaser most of the time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1251.769,"endTime":1256.029,"body":"internally is that they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.029,"endTime":1261.4889999999998,"body":"consistently disregarding their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.029,"endTime":1261.4889999999998,"body":"own needs. They are consistently"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1261.4889999999998,"endTime":1264.639,"body":"disregarding their own voice."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1261.4889999999998,"endTime":1264.639,"body":"They are consistently"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.639,"endTime":1268.4789999999998,"body":"overstepping their own internal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.639,"endTime":1268.4789999999998,"body":"boundaries. And what usually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1268.4789999999998,"endTime":1272.1989999999998,"body":"happens after a period of time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1268.4789999999998,"endTime":1272.1989999999998,"body":"is that the behaviour and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1272.1989999999998,"endTime":1277.2389999999998,"body":"people pleasing becomes a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1272.1989999999998,"endTime":1277.2389999999998,"body":"breeding ground for resent. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.2389999999998,"endTime":1281.589,"body":"this person is usually resenting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.2389999999998,"endTime":1281.589,"body":"the people that they're helping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1281.9189999999999,"endTime":1285.2189999999998,"body":"the people that they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1281.9189999999999,"endTime":1285.2189999999998,"body":"conforming to, for example, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1285.2189999999998,"endTime":1290.319,"body":"you always do what your parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1285.2189999999998,"endTime":1290.319,"body":"expected of you, eventually you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.319,"endTime":1294.099,"body":"are going to resent them for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.319,"endTime":1294.099,"body":"that. If you have a partner who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.129,"endTime":1298.119,"body":"consistent who you allow to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.129,"endTime":1298.119,"body":"consistently overstep the line,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.269,"endTime":1301.299,"body":"if you consistently do things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.269,"endTime":1301.299,"body":"outside of what feels good to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.299,"endTime":1304.119,"body":"you, because you're trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.299,"endTime":1304.119,"body":"keep that person happy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1304.389,"endTime":1308.109,"body":"Eventually you resent that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1304.389,"endTime":1308.109,"body":"person. You resent the boss, who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1308.109,"endTime":1312.279,"body":"you keep saying yes to. So what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1308.109,"endTime":1312.279,"body":"actually happens is, people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.279,"endTime":1316.029,"body":"pleasers are usually harbouring"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.279,"endTime":1316.029,"body":"a whole lot of underlying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.029,"endTime":1321.9089999999999,"body":"resent, and that creates a loop"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.029,"endTime":1321.9089999999999,"body":"where people expect you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1321.9089999999999,"endTime":1326.2289999999998,"body":"continue behaving the same way."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1321.9089999999999,"endTime":1326.2289999999998,"body":"So there is an expectation,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.259,"endTime":1330.2489999999998,"body":"there's an energy of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.259,"endTime":1330.2489999999998,"body":"expectation, which then creates"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.2489999999998,"endTime":1333.4289999999999,"body":"more resent. And then it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.2489999999998,"endTime":1333.4289999999999,"body":"perpetuated by the fact that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1333.4289999999999,"endTime":1336.7289999999998,"body":"keep actually saying yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1333.4289999999999,"endTime":1336.7289999999998,"body":"despite the fact that it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1336.7289999999998,"endTime":1340.4789999999998,"body":"feeling like an expectation, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1336.7289999999998,"endTime":1340.4789999999998,"body":"it's feeling like an obligation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1340.629,"endTime":1344.259,"body":"So there's expectation present,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1340.629,"endTime":1344.259,"body":"there's resent present. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.259,"endTime":1347.529,"body":"eventually, in the long term,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.259,"endTime":1347.529,"body":"this can lead to relationship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.529,"endTime":1351.579,"body":"breakdowns, it can lead to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.529,"endTime":1351.579,"body":"burnout, it can lead to a sense"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1351.579,"endTime":1354.789,"body":"of like, Who the fuck am I, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1351.579,"endTime":1354.789,"body":"am I doing, I don't even know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1354.789,"endTime":1357.849,"body":"who I am. Because I'm just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1354.789,"endTime":1357.849,"body":"whoever I need to be. For other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1357.849,"endTime":1362.4389999999999,"body":"people. Like I said, the results"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1357.849,"endTime":1362.4389999999999,"body":"are quite dramatic. And in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1362.4689999999998,"endTime":1367.4489999999998,"body":"end, it actually isn't helpful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1362.4689999999998,"endTime":1367.4489999999998,"body":"or beneficial to any of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1367.4489999999998,"endTime":1371.019,"body":"people that you're claiming to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1367.4489999999998,"endTime":1371.019,"body":"want to please, you're saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.019,"endTime":1374.109,"body":"you want to please these people,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.019,"endTime":1374.109,"body":"but actually, you're probably"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1374.109,"endTime":1377.9189999999999,"body":"resenting these people, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1374.109,"endTime":1377.9189999999999,"body":"possibly resenting yourself. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1377.9189999999999,"endTime":1381.579,"body":"so it's actually not the kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1377.9189999999999,"endTime":1381.579,"body":"thing to do. We think of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1381.879,"endTime":1385.539,"body":"pleasing others saying yes to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1381.879,"endTime":1385.539,"body":"others going along with it as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.7189999999998,"endTime":1389.9489999999998,"body":"sometimes the kind are good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.7189999999998,"endTime":1389.9489999999998,"body":"thing to do. But long term, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1389.9489999999998,"endTime":1392.889,"body":"not, they don't get the best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1389.9489999999998,"endTime":1392.889,"body":"version of you, they get the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1392.889,"endTime":1395.649,"body":"tired version of you, they get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1392.889,"endTime":1395.649,"body":"the resentful version of you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1395.859,"endTime":1398.9489999999998,"body":"they get that the version of you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1395.859,"endTime":1398.9489999999998,"body":"that's watered down, that's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1398.9489999999998,"endTime":1401.2289999999998,"body":"their true self, that an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1398.9489999999998,"endTime":1401.2289999999998,"body":"authentic version of you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1401.4089999999999,"endTime":1403.839,"body":"because you're trying to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1401.4089999999999,"endTime":1403.839,"body":"someone that you're not and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1403.869,"endTime":1408.099,"body":"ultimately, nobody wins because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1403.869,"endTime":1408.099,"body":"resent is present expectation is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1408.099,"endTime":1412.599,"body":"present, and honestly,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1408.099,"endTime":1412.599,"body":"tiredness. And so let's actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1412.599,"endTime":1416.2289999999998,"body":"start to get into what to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1412.599,"endTime":1416.2289999999998,"body":"about it and and some reframes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1416.2289999999998,"endTime":1419.319,"body":"And some things that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1416.2289999999998,"endTime":1419.319,"body":"ponder and contemplate, so that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1419.319,"endTime":1422.829,"body":"this is something that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1419.319,"endTime":1422.829,"body":"start to observe and then choose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1422.829,"endTime":1428.349,"body":"differently. So when we look at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1422.829,"endTime":1428.349,"body":"this from the Shadow Work lens,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.9189999999999,"endTime":1431.649,"body":"there's a few things that can be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.9189999999999,"endTime":1431.649,"body":"happening, or a few things just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1431.649,"endTime":1436.1789999999999,"body":"to bring our awareness to. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1431.649,"endTime":1436.1789999999999,"body":"all of us have got a way that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1436.1789999999999,"endTime":1440.7389999999998,"body":"like to be perceived by the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1436.1789999999999,"endTime":1440.7389999999998,"body":"world, we show certain parts of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1440.7389999999998,"endTime":1445.029,"body":"ourselves to different people,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1440.7389999999998,"endTime":1445.029,"body":"we present ourselves in a way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1445.029,"endTime":1448.779,"body":"that is aligned with what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1445.029,"endTime":1448.779,"body":"have been told is the most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1448.899,"endTime":1452.2289999999998,"body":"palatable or likeable, or what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1448.899,"endTime":1452.2289999999998,"body":"will make sure that we get love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1452.2289999999998,"endTime":1455.4389999999999,"body":"and attention and we belong. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1452.2289999999998,"endTime":1455.4389999999999,"body":"we've all developed our own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1455.4389999999999,"endTime":1458.9789999999998,"body":"persona, we've all developed a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1455.4389999999999,"endTime":1458.9789999999998,"body":"concept of ourselves, or a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1458.9789999999998,"endTime":1463.899,"body":"construct of ourselves that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1458.9789999999998,"endTime":1463.899,"body":"present to the world. And what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.899,"endTime":1468.7289999999998,"body":"usually is happening is that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.899,"endTime":1468.7289999999998,"body":"underneath that construct, there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1468.7289999999998,"endTime":1472.059,"body":"are some truths lurking in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1468.7289999999998,"endTime":1472.059,"body":"background that we are not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.059,"endTime":1476.2289999999998,"body":"comfortable showing to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.059,"endTime":1476.2289999999998,"body":"world, because we've been told"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1476.2289999999998,"endTime":1479.7089999999998,"body":"that that wouldn't be nice, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1476.2289999999998,"endTime":1479.7089999999998,"body":"wouldn't be likeable. So say for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1479.7089999999998,"endTime":1483.759,"body":"example, you've created an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1479.7089999999998,"endTime":1483.759,"body":"identity. And for a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1483.759,"endTime":1487.4489999999998,"body":"people, this is just truth in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1483.759,"endTime":1487.4489999999998,"body":"societal constructs. We've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1487.4489999999998,"endTime":1490.869,"body":"created an identity that we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1487.4489999999998,"endTime":1490.869,"body":"good, we're good people, we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.899,"endTime":1494.7389999999998,"body":"honest people, or we're helpful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.899,"endTime":1494.7389999999998,"body":"people, or maybe have created an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.7389999999998,"endTime":1497.4389999999999,"body":"identity around being the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.7389999999998,"endTime":1497.4389999999999,"body":"selfless person, the helpful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.4389999999999,"endTime":1501.819,"body":"person that go to for everybody,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.4389999999999,"endTime":1501.819,"body":"the Saviour, the person that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1501.819,"endTime":1504.609,"body":"everyone can go to, and you'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1501.819,"endTime":1504.609,"body":"drop everything, maybe you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1504.609,"endTime":1508.089,"body":"created a little bit of an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1504.609,"endTime":1508.089,"body":"identity around that. Maybe this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1508.089,"endTime":1512.289,"body":"is the way you like to present"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1508.089,"endTime":1512.289,"body":"yourself to the world. Now what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1512.289,"endTime":1517.6889999999999,"body":"we actually need to do is start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1512.289,"endTime":1517.6889999999999,"body":"to bring our awareness to where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1517.6889999999999,"endTime":1523.839,"body":"am I actually not those things?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1517.6889999999999,"endTime":1523.839,"body":"Where am I actually on helpful,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1523.899,"endTime":1529.029,"body":"selfish, where am I actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1523.899,"endTime":1529.029,"body":"putting my cell first and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1529.029,"endTime":1533.859,"body":"actually not caring? Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1529.029,"endTime":1533.859,"body":"what happens is when we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1533.859,"endTime":1537.4889999999998,"body":"created a construct around the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1533.859,"endTime":1537.4889999999998,"body":"kind of person that we want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.4889999999998,"endTime":1542.889,"body":"be and that's been praised, we,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.4889999999998,"endTime":1542.889,"body":"we completely abandon the the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.889,"endTime":1546.4289999999999,"body":"darker parts of ourselves and we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.889,"endTime":1546.4289999999999,"body":"pretend and create Make this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.4589999999998,"endTime":1550.029,"body":"image that we could never be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.4589999999998,"endTime":1550.029,"body":"those things. I'm not selfish,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1550.059,"endTime":1553.269,"body":"I'm not selfless, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1550.059,"endTime":1553.269,"body":"whatever, etcetera, etcetera,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.539,"endTime":1557.529,"body":"whatever feels triggering for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.539,"endTime":1557.529,"body":"you, like if somebody said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.529,"endTime":1561.4889999999998,"body":"something about you that hit a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.529,"endTime":1561.4889999999998,"body":"fucking nerve. If somebody said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1561.4889999999998,"endTime":1564.6989999999998,"body":"something about you, when you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1561.4889999999998,"endTime":1564.6989999999998,"body":"use your voice or said, No, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.6989999999998,"endTime":1567.7289999999998,"body":"can't help, or No, I don't want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.6989999999998,"endTime":1567.7289999999998,"body":"to do that, or No, I don't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1567.7289999999998,"endTime":1572.829,"body":"that. If you think about what is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1567.7289999999998,"endTime":1572.829,"body":"the absolute worst thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1572.829,"endTime":1577.9289999999999,"body":"somebody could call you, that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1572.829,"endTime":1577.9289999999999,"body":"your work to do. Because where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1577.9289999999999,"endTime":1580.9589999999998,"body":"there is a trigger, there is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1577.9289999999999,"endTime":1580.9589999999998,"body":"something going on underneath,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.109,"endTime":1584.109,"body":"that you haven't made peace with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.109,"endTime":1584.109,"body":"peace with or that you're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1584.109,"endTime":1587.1989999999998,"body":"willing to accept about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1584.109,"endTime":1587.1989999999998,"body":"yourself, that might actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1587.1989999999998,"endTime":1591.069,"body":"still be present. And you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1587.1989999999998,"endTime":1591.069,"body":"abandoned that part of yourself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.2489999999998,"endTime":1595.359,"body":"you aren't willing to see that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.2489999999998,"endTime":1595.359,"body":"part of yourself. So you create"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.359,"endTime":1600.789,"body":"space from it. And you create a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.359,"endTime":1600.789,"body":"construct of yourself, that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.789,"endTime":1604.899,"body":"present to the world so that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.789,"endTime":1604.899,"body":"nobody could ever see that part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.899,"endTime":1607.839,"body":"of you. Because maybe in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.899,"endTime":1607.839,"body":"past, you were taught that that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.839,"endTime":1610.9289999999999,"body":"part of you was wrong and bad,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.839,"endTime":1610.9289999999999,"body":"and was shunned and wasn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1610.9289999999999,"endTime":1614.529,"body":"liked, and wouldn't belong. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1610.9289999999999,"endTime":1614.529,"body":"if you were somebody who was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1614.529,"endTime":1617.4389999999999,"body":"shunned, who couldn't belong,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1614.529,"endTime":1617.4389999999999,"body":"who wasn't loved or praised,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1617.619,"endTime":1621.9089999999999,"body":"when you were selfish, you will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1617.619,"endTime":1621.9089999999999,"body":"create a whole persona around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1621.9089999999999,"endTime":1626.799,"body":"being a self selfless person."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1621.9089999999999,"endTime":1626.799,"body":"And you would be absolutely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1627.009,"endTime":1630.9089999999999,"body":"distraught for people to think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1627.009,"endTime":1630.9089999999999,"body":"that you were that thing for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1630.9089999999999,"endTime":1634.869,"body":"people to call you that. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1630.9089999999999,"endTime":1634.869,"body":"your conditioning would say, not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1634.869,"endTime":1638.889,"body":"safe. Nobody will love me, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1634.869,"endTime":1638.889,"body":"won't be loved. Make sure people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.889,"endTime":1642.549,"body":"perceive me as selfless. Make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.889,"endTime":1642.549,"body":"sure I'm perceived as selfless."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1642.579,"endTime":1645.639,"body":"So really, it comes down to just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1642.579,"endTime":1645.639,"body":"want to belong. But what you'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1645.639,"endTime":1648.849,"body":"do is, like I said, create this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1645.639,"endTime":1648.849,"body":"construct, create this concept,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.9989999999998,"endTime":1652.2089999999998,"body":"because you are actually scared"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.9989999999998,"endTime":1652.2089999999998,"body":"shitless that somebody might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1652.2089999999998,"endTime":1656.799,"body":"perceive you as insert blank."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1652.2089999999998,"endTime":1656.799,"body":"This is where we start to see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.799,"endTime":1661.329,"body":"the shadow work we need to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.799,"endTime":1661.329,"body":"and what's driving our behaviour"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1661.359,"endTime":1664.539,"body":"of self sacrifice. And because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1661.359,"endTime":1664.539,"body":"of the way we want to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1664.539,"endTime":1668.889,"body":"perceived. So I ask you to ask"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1664.539,"endTime":1668.889,"body":"yourself, What is the worst"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1668.889,"endTime":1672.2189999999998,"body":"thing someone could say about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1668.889,"endTime":1672.2189999999998,"body":"me? How would I hate to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.2189999999998,"endTime":1677.2289999999998,"body":"perceived, and how you actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.2189999999998,"endTime":1677.2289999999998,"body":"take the energy, and all of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1677.289,"endTime":1682.389,"body":"emotional, like, the emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1677.289,"endTime":1682.389,"body":"charge of those words, how you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1682.389,"endTime":1686.319,"body":"take it out, is you start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1682.389,"endTime":1686.319,"body":"make peace with those parts of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1686.319,"endTime":1692.1689999999999,"body":"yourself. So for example, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1686.319,"endTime":1692.1689999999999,"body":"genuinely and quite openly call"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1692.1689999999999,"endTime":1696.369,"body":"myself selfish, like I am a very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1692.1689999999999,"endTime":1696.369,"body":"selfish person, I actually, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1696.369,"endTime":1699.2489999999998,"body":"anything, take pride in it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1696.369,"endTime":1699.2489999999998,"body":"Because I know that being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1699.2489999999998,"endTime":1702.4589999999998,"body":"selfish is the best thing I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1699.2489999999998,"endTime":1702.4589999999998,"body":"do protecting my energy,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.609,"endTime":1706.629,"body":"speaking my truth, saying what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.609,"endTime":1706.629,"body":"want doing what I want. That is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.629,"endTime":1710.019,"body":"what makes me the best version"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.629,"endTime":1710.019,"body":"of myself to everybody that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1710.019,"endTime":1713.889,"body":"know and love. But also because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1710.019,"endTime":1713.889,"body":"I don't care if someone calls me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1713.889,"endTime":1717.609,"body":"selfish. I have no problem"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1713.889,"endTime":1717.609,"body":"saying now sorry, I don't want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1717.609,"endTime":1720.759,"body":"to go to that. I'm busy doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1717.609,"endTime":1720.759,"body":"nothing at home. Now. Sorry, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1720.759,"endTime":1722.9489999999998,"body":"actually don't want to come to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1720.759,"endTime":1722.9489999999998,"body":"that I really want to read my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1722.9489999999998,"endTime":1725.769,"body":"book, or actually, no, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1722.9489999999998,"endTime":1725.769,"body":"doesn't feel good to me. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1725.769,"endTime":1728.769,"body":"sorry, I'm not going to continue"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1725.769,"endTime":1728.769,"body":"this package. I don't really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1728.769,"endTime":1731.769,"body":"have any worries saying it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1728.769,"endTime":1731.769,"body":"Because if someone was to turn"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1731.769,"endTime":1733.869,"body":"around and say, Oh, well, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1731.769,"endTime":1733.869,"body":"really selfish. I'd be like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1733.869,"endTime":1738.7289999999998,"body":"Yeah, that's cool. That's fine."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1733.869,"endTime":1738.7289999999998,"body":"And because I've made peace with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1738.7289999999998,"endTime":1742.4789999999998,"body":"all parts of meat, well, not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1738.7289999999998,"endTime":1742.4789999999998,"body":"all. That's not happened. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1742.4789999999998,"endTime":1745.269,"body":"know, there's a lot a lot a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1742.4789999999998,"endTime":1745.269,"body":"of I don't think any human think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1745.269,"endTime":1748.9589999999998,"body":"it's a never ending journey. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1745.269,"endTime":1748.9589999999998,"body":"I have done a lot of shadow work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1748.9589999999998,"endTime":1754.4489999999998,"body":"on the selfishness word. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1748.9589999999998,"endTime":1754.4489999999998,"body":"just, there's no energetic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1754.4489999999998,"endTime":1759.1889999999999,"body":"charge. So I don't mind speaking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1754.4489999999998,"endTime":1759.1889999999999,"body":"up and letting people think that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1759.1889999999999,"endTime":1762.369,"body":"maybe I've made a selfish"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1759.1889999999999,"endTime":1762.369,"body":"decision. Because I don't care."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1762.399,"endTime":1767.109,"body":"It doesn't impact me. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1762.399,"endTime":1767.109,"body":"able to say what I want for me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1767.4089999999999,"endTime":1770.6789999999999,"body":"and speak my own truth and say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1767.4089999999999,"endTime":1770.6789999999999,"body":"what feels good to me. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1770.7089999999998,"endTime":1773.769,"body":"obviously, this is the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1770.7089999999998,"endTime":1773.769,"body":"part. Obviously, there's levels,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1773.769,"endTime":1777.039,"body":"right? I'm not saying that I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1773.769,"endTime":1777.039,"body":"completely transcended people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1777.039,"endTime":1780.369,"body":"pleasing. And there's not still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1777.039,"endTime":1780.369,"body":"edges, where it feels scary to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1780.369,"endTime":1782.529,"body":"speak up where it feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1780.369,"endTime":1782.529,"body":"vulnerable to say what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.529,"endTime":1785.259,"body":"actually want to say. There's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.529,"endTime":1785.259,"body":"always edges, there's always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1785.259,"endTime":1788.889,"body":"levels, but I've done a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1785.259,"endTime":1788.889,"body":"work to transcend, for example,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1788.9789999999998,"endTime":1791.589,"body":"staying in a job I don't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1788.9789999999998,"endTime":1791.589,"body":"because maybe it would have made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.589,"endTime":1795.339,"body":"my parents proud or, like doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.589,"endTime":1795.339,"body":"the promotion because it would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1795.339,"endTime":1798.279,"body":"have made the the boss VA like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1795.339,"endTime":1798.279,"body":"the boss would have liked it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.279,"endTime":1801.069,"body":"But I actually didn't want it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.279,"endTime":1801.069,"body":"you know, I transcended that a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1801.069,"endTime":1803.7389999999998,"body":"long time. There's always edges,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1801.069,"endTime":1803.7389999999998,"body":"there's always levels. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1803.7389999999998,"endTime":1807.519,"body":"about finding where your edge"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1803.7389999999998,"endTime":1807.519,"body":"is, and leaning into it and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1807.519,"endTime":1810.7289999999998,"body":"starting to play around with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1807.519,"endTime":1810.7289999999998,"body":"where your current edges. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.149,"endTime":1814.089,"body":"that's the part that first I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.149,"endTime":1814.089,"body":"want you to think about what is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1814.089,"endTime":1817.539,"body":"the worst thing someone could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1814.089,"endTime":1817.539,"body":"say about you? And is there a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.539,"endTime":1821.259,"body":"potential that you aren't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.539,"endTime":1821.259,"body":"willing to see how maybe That"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.259,"endTime":1826.9589999999998,"body":"part is true? And that's okay."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.259,"endTime":1826.9589999999998,"body":"Maybe sometimes you are selfish,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1827.049,"endTime":1830.4389999999999,"body":"maybe sometimes you are rude."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1827.049,"endTime":1830.4389999999999,"body":"Maybe sometimes you are all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1830.4389999999999,"endTime":1834.4289999999999,"body":"these quote bad things. But if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1830.4389999999999,"endTime":1834.4289999999999,"body":"you can take the energy out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1834.579,"endTime":1838.4789999999998,"body":"even calling it bad and seeing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1834.579,"endTime":1838.4789999999998,"body":"the good in it, then you are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.4789999999998,"endTime":1841.569,"body":"going to completely remove the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.4789999999998,"endTime":1841.569,"body":"power from people calling you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1841.569,"endTime":1845.319,"body":"that so you won't mind saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1841.569,"endTime":1845.319,"body":"what you need to say and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.319,"endTime":1847.4489999999998,"body":"stopping with the P people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.319,"endTime":1847.4489999999998,"body":"pleasing, because you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1847.4489999999998,"endTime":1849.609,"body":"actually made peace with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1847.4489999999998,"endTime":1849.609,"body":"whatever decision they make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1849.609,"endTime":1852.1889999999999,"body":"about you. Because it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1849.609,"endTime":1852.1889999999999,"body":"about you. Right? And because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1852.1889999999999,"endTime":1855.6989999999998,"body":"you've made peace with it. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1852.1889999999999,"endTime":1855.6989999999998,"body":"there's that just thinking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1855.7289999999998,"endTime":1859.629,"body":"what is the part that I do not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1855.7289999999998,"endTime":1859.629,"body":"want to be called? How do I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1859.629,"endTime":1862.899,"body":"to be perceived? And can I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1859.629,"endTime":1862.899,"body":"actually make peace with not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.899,"endTime":1866.019,"body":"being perceived that way, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.899,"endTime":1866.019,"body":"MIT completely owning that part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.019,"endTime":1870.339,"body":"of me? So that's the first bit."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.019,"endTime":1870.339,"body":"Now something else I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1870.339,"endTime":1873.9389999999999,"body":"bring to this conversation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1870.339,"endTime":1873.9389999999999,"body":"around people pleasing, is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1874.4489999999998,"endTime":1880.2389999999998,"body":"I would ask, what do I get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1874.4489999999998,"endTime":1880.2389999999998,"body":"gain from continuing this cycle?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.9889999999998,"endTime":1884.379,"body":"of, you know, saying yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.9889999999998,"endTime":1884.379,"body":"overstepping my boundaries,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1884.379,"endTime":1887.619,"body":"letting people overstep, etc,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1884.379,"endTime":1887.619,"body":"etc, what do I get to gain from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1887.619,"endTime":1893.4689999999998,"body":"people pleasing, and this might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1887.619,"endTime":1893.4689999999998,"body":"be a very deep way of looking at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1893.4689999999998,"endTime":1899.7389999999998,"body":"it, but it's, it's true. What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1893.4689999999998,"endTime":1899.7389999999998,"body":"often happens, when we choose to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1899.7389999999998,"endTime":1904.629,"body":"continue people pleasing, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1899.7389999999998,"endTime":1904.629,"body":"we actually get to gain is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1904.629,"endTime":1910.119,"body":"we get to escape personal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1904.629,"endTime":1910.119,"body":"responsibility. And we get to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1911.109,"endTime":1916.4189999999999,"body":"we get to avoid taking complete"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1911.109,"endTime":1916.4189999999999,"body":"ownership of our lives. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1916.569,"endTime":1920.109,"body":"what happens when we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1916.569,"endTime":1920.109,"body":"consistently people, please, is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1920.109,"endTime":1923.4389999999999,"body":"that we usually, like I said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1920.109,"endTime":1923.4389999999999,"body":"it's a breeding ground for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1923.4389999999999,"endTime":1926.799,"body":"resentment. When someone is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1923.4389999999999,"endTime":1926.799,"body":"consistently people pleasing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1926.829,"endTime":1930.2189999999998,"body":"they actually usually end up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1926.829,"endTime":1930.2189999999998,"body":"resenting the person that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1930.2189999999998,"endTime":1934.779,"body":"they're trying to, quote, help,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1930.2189999999998,"endTime":1934.779,"body":"or, or please. And so the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1934.779,"endTime":1940.839,"body":"benefit of holding on to resent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1934.779,"endTime":1940.839,"body":"is often that when we hold on to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.839,"endTime":1945.579,"body":"resent, we get to blame other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.839,"endTime":1945.579,"body":"people for not being where we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1945.579,"endTime":1949.599,"body":"say we want to be, or I would,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1945.579,"endTime":1949.599,"body":"but I had to stop everything for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1949.599,"endTime":1954.309,"body":"this person, or I would, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1949.599,"endTime":1954.309,"body":"had to this person always asked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1954.309,"endTime":1957.849,"body":"me to do it, I would, but my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1954.309,"endTime":1957.849,"body":"boss, bla bla, bla, bla, bla, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1957.849,"endTime":1961.2389999999998,"body":"we get to stay in a loop where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1957.849,"endTime":1961.2389999999998,"body":"we're resenting others, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.2389999999998,"endTime":1965.1689999999999,"body":"therefore it's other people's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.2389999999998,"endTime":1965.1689999999999,"body":"problem. It's because of other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1965.1689999999999,"endTime":1969.039,"body":"people, that you're not where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1965.1689999999999,"endTime":1969.039,"body":"you want to be. It's other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1969.039,"endTime":1973.629,"body":"people. The resent gets to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1969.039,"endTime":1973.629,"body":"pushed out at other people, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1973.629,"endTime":1977.4989999999998,"body":"get to project that resent that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1973.629,"endTime":1977.4989999999998,"body":"dissatisfaction, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1977.4989999999998,"endTime":1981.579,"body":"frustration, you get to push it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1977.4989999999998,"endTime":1981.579,"body":"out at other people, the ones"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.579,"endTime":1986.589,"body":"who are putting the expectations"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.579,"endTime":1986.589,"body":"on you, instead of completely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.589,"endTime":1990.9089999999999,"body":"taking responsibility and taking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.589,"endTime":1990.9089999999999,"body":"ownership of the fact that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1990.9389999999999,"endTime":1994.599,"body":"actually, the resent and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1990.9389999999999,"endTime":1994.599,"body":"frustration is at myself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1994.599,"endTime":1999.6989999999998,"body":"because I can't say no, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1994.599,"endTime":1999.6989999999998,"body":"I aren't, I'm not putting my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1999.6989999999998,"endTime":2004.319,"body":"needs first. Because I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1999.6989999999998,"endTime":2004.319,"body":"completely let other people ruin"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2004.319,"endTime":2008.039,"body":"my life, we get to project all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2004.319,"endTime":2008.039,"body":"of that frustration out of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2008.039,"endTime":2013.079,"body":"people were saying yes to, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2008.039,"endTime":2013.079,"body":"that relieves us, it relieves us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2013.109,"endTime":2017.129,"body":"of what we actually need, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2013.109,"endTime":2017.129,"body":"is self responsibility, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2017.1589999999999,"endTime":2021.509,"body":"ownership of our decisions. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2017.1589999999999,"endTime":2021.509,"body":"so sometimes there's a benefit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2021.509,"endTime":2024.779,"body":"to continuing this cycle. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2021.509,"endTime":2024.779,"body":"sometimes it's that we get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2024.779,"endTime":2027.539,"body":"relieve ourselves from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2024.779,"endTime":2027.539,"body":"ownership. Sometimes it's that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2027.539,"endTime":2030.359,"body":"we get to blame others instead"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2027.539,"endTime":2030.359,"body":"of looking at where we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2030.359,"endTime":2033.869,"body":"actually become powerful leaders"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2030.359,"endTime":2033.869,"body":"of our lives. Sometimes it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2033.869,"endTime":2037.7389999999998,"body":"purely a safety thing, like our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2033.869,"endTime":2037.7389999999998,"body":"nervous system genuinely feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2037.7389999999998,"endTime":2041.2189999999998,"body":"like we will not survive, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2037.7389999999998,"endTime":2041.2189999999998,"body":"will be cast aside, we will be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2041.2189999999998,"endTime":2046.109,"body":"shunned if we are speaking our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2041.2189999999998,"endTime":2046.109,"body":"truth. And like I said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2046.109,"endTime":2049.379,"body":"sometimes it's because we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2046.109,"endTime":2049.379,"body":"created a construct of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2049.379,"endTime":2053.489,"body":"ourselves, or that we have on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2049.379,"endTime":2053.489,"body":"some level decided is what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2053.489,"endTime":2056.219,"body":"need to do to survive. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2053.489,"endTime":2056.219,"body":"there's a few things like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2056.219,"endTime":2059.219,"body":"said, that you can do about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2056.219,"endTime":2059.219,"body":"that, which is to make peace of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2059.219,"endTime":2063.209,"body":"all parts of yourself, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2059.219,"endTime":2063.209,"body":"to see the cycle of blame and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2063.2690000000002,"endTime":2067.589,"body":"and resent and start to see how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2063.2690000000002,"endTime":2067.589,"body":"actually to dissolve this would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2067.589,"endTime":2070.679,"body":"be to have better quality"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2067.589,"endTime":2070.679,"body":"relationships, and to start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2070.679,"endTime":2076.739,"body":"trust yourself further. So how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2070.679,"endTime":2076.739,"body":"do you actually go about it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2076.739,"endTime":2080.459,"body":"especially if it doesn't quite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2076.739,"endTime":2080.459,"body":"feel safe in your body and in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2080.459,"endTime":2085.319,"body":"your voice to speak up and to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2080.459,"endTime":2085.319,"body":"put yourself first is that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2085.319,"endTime":2091.829,"body":"start small, you really start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2085.319,"endTime":2091.829,"body":"small. And you see opportunities"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2091.829,"endTime":2095.999,"body":"where you can feel what you want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2091.829,"endTime":2095.999,"body":"to say or do but you do the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2095.999,"endTime":2099.929,"body":"opposite. And you consistently"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2095.999,"endTime":2099.929,"body":"over time, bring your awareness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2099.929,"endTime":2104.0989999999997,"body":"to it and choose something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2099.929,"endTime":2104.0989999999997,"body":"different. And you start really,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2104.0989999999997,"endTime":2107.0389999999998,"body":"really, really small. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2104.0989999999997,"endTime":2107.0389999999998,"body":"might just be having a few"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2107.0389999999998,"endTime":2110.819,"body":"phrases in your back pocket that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2107.0389999999998,"endTime":2110.819,"body":"you use all the time. Things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2110.819,"endTime":2114.779,"body":"like are actually can I get back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2110.819,"endTime":2114.779,"body":"to you on that? So just noticing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2114.779,"endTime":2117.1189999999997,"body":"how your automatic response is?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2114.779,"endTime":2117.1189999999997,"body":"Yeah, sure. No"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2117.12,"endTime":2120.63,"body":"worries. Oh, yes, I can do that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2117.12,"endTime":2120.63,"body":"Or Yep, that sounds good. Just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2120.63,"endTime":2123.7799999999997,"body":"noticing where your automatic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2120.63,"endTime":2123.7799999999997,"body":"responses and creating a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2123.7799999999997,"endTime":2128.0099999999998,"body":"different response to give you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2123.7799999999997,"endTime":2128.0099999999998,"body":"space to check in with yourself."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2128.22,"endTime":2131.64,"body":"So it might be when you notice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2128.22,"endTime":2131.64,"body":"the automatic response use just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2131.64,"endTime":2134.64,"body":"say, can you just give me a few"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2131.64,"endTime":2134.64,"body":"days to check my daughter and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2134.64,"endTime":2138.48,"body":"get back to it can be that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2134.64,"endTime":2138.48,"body":"simple. And then it gets to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2138.48,"endTime":2142.92,"body":"Hey, I've looked at my schedule"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2138.48,"endTime":2142.92,"body":"or I've looked at how this feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2142.92,"endTime":2146.1,"body":"and it's just not the right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2142.92,"endTime":2146.1,"body":"timing. And what you will find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2146.1,"endTime":2150.12,"body":"And and this is even a great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2146.1,"endTime":2150.12,"body":"reframe in itself is that when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2150.12,"endTime":2155.79,"body":"you transcend all of this people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2150.12,"endTime":2155.79,"body":"pleasing patterns, what actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2155.79,"endTime":2159.6,"body":"happens is that you become a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2155.79,"endTime":2159.6,"body":"very fucking trustworthy person,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2159.93,"endTime":2165.54,"body":"you become so trustworthy,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2159.93,"endTime":2165.54,"body":"because people trust that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2165.54,"endTime":2169.0499999999997,"body":"will say what you mean and mean"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2165.54,"endTime":2169.0499999999997,"body":"what you say, there's no second"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2169.0499999999997,"endTime":2172.47,"body":"guessing. There's none of this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2169.0499999999997,"endTime":2172.47,"body":"Yeah, I'm fine. No, honestly,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.47,"endTime":2176.25,"body":"I'm fine. There's that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.47,"endTime":2176.25,"body":"sense underneath that you're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2176.25,"endTime":2179.37,"body":"you know, that frequency of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2176.25,"endTime":2179.37,"body":"like, I'm fine. But actually,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2179.37,"endTime":2183.48,"body":"you're not. When you are someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2179.37,"endTime":2183.48,"body":"who says what you mean and mean"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2183.48,"endTime":2187.38,"body":"what you say, people trust you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2183.48,"endTime":2187.38,"body":"And so it's actually about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2187.62,"endTime":2192.0899999999997,"body":"seeing this as an opportunity to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2187.62,"endTime":2192.0899999999997,"body":"be an even more authentic person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2192.18,"endTime":2196.77,"body":"who values honesty. If you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2192.18,"endTime":2196.77,"body":"start to reframe speaking up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2196.77,"endTime":2199.0499999999997,"body":"speaking your truth, saying what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2196.77,"endTime":2199.0499999999997,"body":"you need, asserting your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2199.0499999999997,"endTime":2203.2799999999997,"body":"boundaries, if you can start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2199.0499999999997,"endTime":2203.2799999999997,"body":"see that as you being authentic,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2203.3399999999997,"endTime":2207.0299999999997,"body":"as you're being honest, as you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2203.3399999999997,"endTime":2207.0299999999997,"body":"being a safe person, for others"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2207.0299999999997,"endTime":2210.36,"body":"to be around as you actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2207.0299999999997,"endTime":2210.36,"body":"putting your needs first, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2210.36,"endTime":2214.02,"body":"that you can serve everybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2210.36,"endTime":2214.02,"body":"around you, so that you clear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2214.02,"endTime":2216.87,"body":"the energy and there's no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2214.02,"endTime":2216.87,"body":"resent, so that you can clear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2216.87,"endTime":2220.41,"body":"the energy and there's no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2216.87,"endTime":2220.41,"body":"expectation and obligation, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2220.41,"endTime":2223.83,"body":"everyone trusts you, your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2220.41,"endTime":2223.83,"body":"relationships flourish, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2223.83,"endTime":2227.46,"body":"trust yourself, people actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2223.83,"endTime":2227.46,"body":"want to be around you, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2227.46,"endTime":2231.18,"body":"they sense that you're a very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2227.46,"endTime":2231.18,"body":"autonomous and sovereign leader."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2231.39,"endTime":2235.14,"body":"And that's a very, very, very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2231.39,"endTime":2235.14,"body":"magnetic place to be people feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2235.14,"endTime":2239.46,"body":"that power. And ultimately,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2235.14,"endTime":2239.46,"body":"people stop overstepping your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2239.46,"endTime":2242.52,"body":"power, because they sense that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2239.46,"endTime":2242.52,"body":"you're no longer available to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2242.52,"endTime":2247.5899999999997,"body":"it. And I want to say, this has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2242.52,"endTime":2247.5899999999997,"body":"huge impacts in your business,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2247.68,"endTime":2251.13,"body":"because it's a personal power"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2247.68,"endTime":2251.13,"body":"thing. When you start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2251.13,"endTime":2254.22,"body":"transcend people pleasing, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2251.13,"endTime":2254.22,"body":"you stand in your power, and you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2254.22,"endTime":2256.98,"body":"speak your truth, and you say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2254.22,"endTime":2256.98,"body":"what you want to say, and you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2256.98,"endTime":2259.98,"body":"don't water things down, and you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2256.98,"endTime":2259.98,"body":"don't mind how you're perceived."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2260.16,"endTime":2263.5499999999997,"body":"Because you've made peace with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2260.16,"endTime":2263.5499999999997,"body":"yourself, you become a match to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2263.5499999999997,"endTime":2267.0,"body":"very powerful human beings,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2263.5499999999997,"endTime":2267.0,"body":"because you're self led, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.0,"endTime":2271.5299999999997,"body":"really a personal power thing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.0,"endTime":2271.5299999999997,"body":"And so, like I said, everybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2271.5299999999997,"endTime":2275.19,"body":"does this in some degree, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2271.5299999999997,"endTime":2275.19,"body":"everybody is working out where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2275.19,"endTime":2278.67,"body":"their edges are, and stepping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2275.19,"endTime":2278.67,"body":"into more and more and more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2278.67,"endTime":2282.21,"body":"power. And I think that the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2278.67,"endTime":2282.21,"body":"journey never stops. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2282.21,"endTime":2286.62,"body":"not about you being wrong, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2282.21,"endTime":2286.62,"body":"you being broken, or some issue"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2286.62,"endTime":2290.4,"body":"or pattern that nobody else has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2286.62,"endTime":2290.4,"body":"or understands. It's not that at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2290.4,"endTime":2294.45,"body":"all. It's about bringing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2290.4,"endTime":2294.45,"body":"curiosity to your patterns, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2294.45,"endTime":2298.0499999999997,"body":"really checking in with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2294.45,"endTime":2298.0499999999997,"body":"yourself, before you say yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2298.23,"endTime":2301.7999999999997,"body":"checking in with yourself before"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2298.23,"endTime":2301.7999999999997,"body":"you water things down. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2301.7999999999997,"endTime":2305.8199999999997,"body":"about self awareness to really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2301.7999999999997,"endTime":2305.8199999999997,"body":"see what's underneath the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2305.8199999999997,"endTime":2309.21,"body":"behaviour so that you can get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2305.8199999999997,"endTime":2309.21,"body":"know yourself more. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2309.21,"endTime":2312.96,"body":"about just consistently finding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2309.21,"endTime":2312.96,"body":"your edge so that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2312.96,"endTime":2316.7999999999997,"body":"transcend and evolve to your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2312.96,"endTime":2316.7999999999997,"body":"next place and become even more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2316.7999999999997,"endTime":2321.0299999999997,"body":"empowered in creating your life,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2316.7999999999997,"endTime":2321.0299999999997,"body":"and being the kind of person who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.0299999999997,"endTime":2324.6,"body":"you trust to create any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.0299999999997,"endTime":2324.6,"body":"circumstance, because you no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2324.6,"endTime":2328.5,"body":"longer live through the lens of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2324.6,"endTime":2328.5,"body":"what others want to view. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2328.5,"endTime":2332.13,"body":"think that's the most beautiful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2328.5,"endTime":2332.13,"body":"path to choose a life that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2332.13,"endTime":2335.94,"body":"yours, a life that feels good to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2332.13,"endTime":2335.94,"body":"you. And you know, before I wrap"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2335.94,"endTime":2339.69,"body":"up, this always reminds me this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2335.94,"endTime":2339.69,"body":"conversation, it always reminds"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2339.69,"endTime":2342.75,"body":"me of one of my favourite books"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2339.69,"endTime":2342.75,"body":"that I recommend to every single"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2342.75,"endTime":2347.0099999999998,"body":"human. And that is Top Five"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2342.75,"endTime":2347.0099999999998,"body":"Regrets of the Dying. If you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2347.0099999999998,"endTime":2350.58,"body":"read Top Five Regrets of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2347.0099999999998,"endTime":2350.58,"body":"Dying, which is exactly as the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2350.58,"endTime":2354.8399999999997,"body":"name suggests, one of the top"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2350.58,"endTime":2354.8399999999997,"body":"regrets of people who are dying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2354.87,"endTime":2357.72,"body":"is that they wish they'd had the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2354.87,"endTime":2357.72,"body":"courage to live a life that was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2357.72,"endTime":2363.18,"body":"true to themselves. And this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2357.72,"endTime":2363.18,"body":"huge. When you people, please"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2363.21,"endTime":2366.21,"body":"you're not living in a way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2363.21,"endTime":2366.21,"body":"that's true to you. It's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2366.21,"endTime":2369.5699999999997,"body":"honest. It's not authentic. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2366.21,"endTime":2369.5699999999997,"body":"not genuine. It's a breeding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2369.5699999999997,"endTime":2372.15,"body":"ground for resent. And it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2369.5699999999997,"endTime":2372.15,"body":"breeding ground for a life with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2372.15,"endTime":2375.2999999999997,"body":"regrets. And that is what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2372.15,"endTime":2375.2999999999997,"body":"don't want for anyone listening"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2375.2999999999997,"endTime":2379.38,"body":"to this podcast. And so I hope"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2375.2999999999997,"endTime":2379.38,"body":"that this episode gives you a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2379.38,"endTime":2382.68,"body":"few things to think about a way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2379.38,"endTime":2382.68,"body":"that you can sort of start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2382.68,"endTime":2386.49,"body":"question your actions and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2382.68,"endTime":2386.49,"body":"behaviours, and an encouraging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2386.52,"endTime":2390.0899999999997,"body":"sort of take home to lean into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2386.52,"endTime":2390.0899999999997,"body":"your edge where it feels a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2390.0899999999997,"endTime":2393.7799999999997,"body":"little bit edgy, to speak up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2390.0899999999997,"endTime":2393.7799999999997,"body":"to be authentic, and to practice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2393.7799999999997,"endTime":2398.58,"body":"with small, small, small steps."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2393.7799999999997,"endTime":2398.58,"body":"So that's all for today. I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2398.58,"endTime":2401.88,"body":"be back next week with another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2398.58,"endTime":2401.88,"body":"of the coach yourself series."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2402.06,"endTime":2405.24,"body":"Please make sure that if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2402.06,"endTime":2405.24,"body":"wanted to get into the February"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2405.24,"endTime":2407.79,"body":"giveaway, the birthday"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2405.24,"endTime":2407.79,"body":"celebration for podcast"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2407.79,"endTime":2411.75,"body":"listeners, tag me and this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2407.79,"endTime":2411.75,"body":"podcast, leave a review share it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2411.75,"endTime":2414.99,"body":"with us and you will go in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2411.75,"endTime":2414.99,"body":"draw to win a whole year in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2414.99,"endTime":2418.98,"body":"world. And it is going to be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2414.99,"endTime":2418.98,"body":"fucking phenomenal year I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2418.98,"endTime":2421.56,"body":"feel it. There's so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2418.98,"endTime":2421.56,"body":"exciting stuff on the agenda. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2421.95,"endTime":2425.1,"body":"I've got you covered for 2024 If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2421.95,"endTime":2425.1,"body":"you would like to go into that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2425.1,"endTime":2429.15,"body":"drawer, and that is all for me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2425.1,"endTime":2429.15,"body":"Have a brilliant day wherever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2429.15,"endTime":2433.29,"body":"you are. And I will see you next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2429.15,"endTime":2433.29,"body":"week. Bye. Thank you for tuning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2433.29,"endTime":2437.3399999999997,"body":"in to the mind school podcast."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2433.29,"endTime":2437.3399999999997,"body":"It is a massive intention of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2437.3399999999997,"endTime":2440.97,"body":"mine to continue to grow this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2437.3399999999997,"endTime":2440.97,"body":"show. Because the more the show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2440.97,"endTime":2444.72,"body":"grows, the better the guests"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2440.97,"endTime":2444.72,"body":"get. And I know that is going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2444.72,"endTime":2449.58,"body":"be so powerful for you You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2444.72,"endTime":2449.58,"body":"listening. So if I could ask"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2449.58,"endTime":2452.3399999999997,"body":"this massive favour it would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2449.58,"endTime":2452.3399999999997,"body":"mean the world if you could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2452.3399999999997,"endTime":2456.5699999999997,"body":"please leave a review, hit the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2452.3399999999997,"endTime":2456.5699999999997,"body":"Follow button or leave a rating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2456.5699999999997,"endTime":2460.38,"body":"on Spotify so that we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2456.5699999999997,"endTime":2460.38,"body":"continue to grow this show and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2460.38,"endTime":2464.4,"body":"bring you the juiciest, most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2460.38,"endTime":2464.4,"body":"thought provoking and expansive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2464.4,"endTime":2468.18,"body":"conversations through incredible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2464.4,"endTime":2468.18,"body":"guests. Thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2468.18,"endTime":2469.92,"body":"tuning in. I'll see you next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2468.18,"endTime":2469.92,"body":"week."}]}