❤️‍🔥The truth about building a dream life & biz " that "lights you up"...

Hey, bestie! If you’ve ever scrolled through Insta and thought, “Why isn’t my life that cute?”—this episode is for you. We’re cutting through the highlight reel to talk about the REAL work behind building a life you’re obsessed with.

In this episode, I’m spilling the truth about what it really feels like to leave behind the safety net of a 9-to-5, chase your purpose, and build something meaningful. Spoiler: it’s hard AF sometimes, but trust me—it’s so worth it.

Why You Need to Tune In:

❤️‍🔥Reality Check: The unfiltered truth about solopreneur life—it’s not always #goals.
❤️‍🔥You’ll have days where you’re like, “Why TF did I sign up for this?”
❤️‍🔥Lonely But Not Alone: Why growth comes from discomfort (ugh, we know).

This one’s for all the dreamers in the trenches—you’re doing amazing, sweetie. 💖

Kickstart the year with our Mini Pep Talk this January and get the inspo you need to go after everything.

secure your spot 👉 www.breannamay.com/tmsmini
Let’s connect: breanna@breannamay.com. I’d love to hear from you!

As always, please don't forget to hit Subscribe! xxx

Transcript

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Music. Welcome to the mind school, the classroom for your mind and soul, where we design our lives from the inside out. Here you will find a human first approach to life, business and relationships, to create freedom, growth and constant evolution through mindset, emotional intelligence, leadership and connection to self. I'm your host, Breanna may educator, CEO mindset and business mentor, and my mission is to teach the things we were never taught at school so that no dream is left on the pillow and no purpose left unfulfilled. Here, you can expect a lot of laughs and thought provoking conversations as we squeeze every drop of juice from this beautiful, precious, crazy thing called life. Hello. Welcome back to the mind school podcast. And if you are watching on YouTube, we now have a YouTube channel, so if you are watching this podcast on the YouTube clip, you're very welcome. I'm in my wet bathers. I've literally just come out of the pool. When I'm in the pool is when I do a lot of reflecting, a lot of thinking. And I thought I really wanted to hit record on an episode about this title, and that is the realities of building life and business, that you are lit up by something that feels like it's your dream, and what goes on behind the scenes. The realities are some of the things that, quite honestly, I didn't expect, and for a long time, I sort of made them mean that there was something wrong with what I had decided to create. There was something wrong with the life or business I'd chosen for myself, even though I really feel like I'm in my purpose. There's lots of things that have come up that I'm just counseling out loud, mainly to myself, in hope that it will resonate with you listening. So before I get into the episode, I want to do my win and my challenge. My win for today. I woke up today thinking I just had such a nice night. Me and my husband. It's really lame. It's actually so lame. We stayed up till 10pm wild. We stayed up till 10pm and we just had, like, I think I had two whiskeys. By the way. I've never been like, a brown liquor kind of person, like, generally, I don't do rum or bourbon or whiskey. But lately, I don't know what's shifted. Something's changed. I am in my era of loving a whiskey and some country music. So last night, it was actually funny, and Paul's gonna kill me for saying this. But, uh, Paul had one of my wines that was left over in the fridge. He had a white wine. I always open a bottle but never actually finish it, like I only ever want one glass, maybe a week. So then there's just, like a bottle that goes to waste. So Paul didn't want it to go to waste, so he had his white wine, and I sat there with my whiskey, and we stayed up and we did, like connection cards and like couples games, and, yeah, we just had really good chats. And for us, you know, having dinner at 8pm was absolutely wild, and we kind of laughed to ourselves, but I woke up feeling really connected to him. And for anyone who has gone on a fertility journey, and I don't like to use the word trying to conceive, but that journey, you will know what I mean when I say you got to do what you got to do, to keep it fresh and to keep it spicy and to keep it connected, and for it to not feel like a chore or not feel like something you've got to do. So we are doing that, and it felt really, really nice. It feels nice to connect in that way. So that's my whim, and my challenge for this week, my challenge for today, is this time of year is such. It's one of my favorite times of the year. It's reflecting, and it's getting really clear on the year ahead. It's the planning, it's the visioning, it's all of that stuff that I really enjoy doing. I have found that really challenging, and I have for the last nearly two years, to be honest, but I feel it's getting closer. And that is, I feel like it's hard to plan a business and a whole strategy, when in the back of your mind you're like, Well, I don't know, because I'll probably be pregnant, I'll probably be pregnant, I'll probably be pregnant. And I found that challenging, but also exciting. So it's a challenge, but it's also kind of exciting, because I can't wait to just see what happens and adapt as I need to, but that is kind of hard to make a real plan when there's so much uncertainty, but at the same time, it's like it's kind of exciting. So that's that today's episode is about something I've been reflecting on, and it was actually just. So I haven't been journaling for a very long time, like I when I went to Bali, I was really into just taking my phone and my laptop away and just walking out to the pool, like I do this often, and it's such a nice reminder to myself, even right now, writing like handwriting, and just spending some time without technology and just being with my thoughts is so clarifying. And so I did that literally just for like, 25 minutes before, before I hit record. And I've been reflecting on some feelings and thoughts that I've been having lately around my business and around my life. And by the way, actually, if you are interested in I haven't actually, I wasn't really going to share that this in this way, but I am running a mind school mini in January, which is just a one day event, literally a one day immersion, a full in person day to do a full reflection, to get really, really clear on 2025 to set intentions, to receive some coaching, to get out of your own way and discover what's been in your way up to this point. So we're kind of doing all of it in a one day event, and that's Jan 20th. So anyway, the podcast is apparently the first people to hear that, so all the links will be in the show notes, because if you're like me, sometimes you know what to do. But you actually need someone, or you need yourself to really be like, Okay, let's actually do this now and set aside the time, carve aside the time, and take yourself away from your environment to do it in a really fresh, exciting space. So if you want to do it that way, come join us at the mind school mini which is taking place like I said, January 20, and there's only 60 tickets available. You heard it here first. But anyway, as I was saying, I was reflecting on life, and when I got my journal out, I was sort of thinking about when I left my full time teaching job. I used to dream of exactly what I've got now, and I spent so much time getting crystal clear, and I felt like all of my 20s led me to this kind of confusing place where it was like, Do you know what? I've found lots of things I love. I've found that I love bits of teaching, and I love bits of Journalism and Media and Communication, and I love bits about all these different careers that I'd sort of had my foot in, but I couldn't find this job title or this role that made sense, and so I was really frustrated in my 20s. And as much as I loved teaching, and teaching is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I still look back on my time as a teacher and my career as a teacher as the best five years, like the best five years, and it took me to where I am now because I discovered how much I loved teaching. But when I got to the end of my career, I was done like I was like, this is not it? What is it going to take for me to find the damn thing I've done three degrees, I've dabbled in so many different careers. What is got? What's it going to take for me to find my thing like I had this thing? I want to find my purpose. I want to find a thing that lights me up, and I want to feel like I'm living my purpose. And I want that so badly. And surely I've like experimented enough and done enough study and all of the things, and so I spent a lot of time, a lot of finances, a lot of energy, a lot of mentorship, a lot of space, getting clear on what's the thing that's going to light me up. What is my quote dream life? What is my quote purpose? And I was so clear on it, like so clear on it, which is why I get so convicted in teaching so much of the things that I teach, because I learned to process, and I got really, really clear, and then I followed out that process, and I've literally created everything that I used to write about, everything I used to visualize when I was going down the freeway. I used to go down the freeway 45 minutes to school and just visualize crying with tears in my eyes, things like being on a laptop while Paul was out surfing and traveling around the world, but also working with incredible humans and making a difference and speaking on stages and having a podcast, like all of the things that are literally my dream. Literally my dream. I used to see myself on the news and in newspapers and in magazines, and bringing in that media and journalism piece that I loved and like I saw it so clearly. And it's all happened. It's all happened. I've got the travel, I've got the freedom, I've got the morning routines where I can just be as flowy as I want, or take as much time in the gym as I want, and all of this beautiful stuff. So I hate for the next part to sound almost like I'm about to complain, because that's not what this is. I'm not complaining. But the truth is, more than once, more than once, especially, no, just not even just especially this year. Hour more than once in the last four years. But maybe I'd say, particularly in the last two years. The last two years, I have really felt like I am living my purpose. I'm living my dream. I've cycled across Europe. That was like a bucket list. I spent 10 weeks cycling across Europe with my husband. I did it again the year after. I've been to Bali four times this year, the mind school is my baby. It is my dream. It is everything that I'd ever dreamed of. So all of my dream, the things that quote light me up, have come to fruition. And yet, more than once over the last couple years, I've also found myself thinking, Maybe I should get a job. I've also found myself thinking, Did I do the right thing? And that one doesn't really last for long, because I'm like, No, I know I did the right thing. I am so certain that I am living my purpose. I am so certain that I am where I need to be. But that has not meant that I don't. And literally, today have the thought, maybe I should just see what jobs are out there. My dog is barking. I hope that's not too distracting. I'm extremely distracted, but it has crossed my mind, maybe I should look for a job today. I found myself this time of year like reminiscing about Christmas parties staff. Christmas parties used to be such a highlight, where you'd have all your colleagues come together and you would just be like, Oh, we made it. And I found myself, you know, wondering, why aren't I lit up right now? Why aren't I excited right now? Why is this not it? Like, Oh God, this can't actually really, like, Please don't tell me, this isn't it. I thought this was it. And, oh my god, am I doing it again? Am I onto the next thing again? And that's not what it is. I have really come to realize it's not that, it's not that I'm onto the same I'm onto a new thing. I am certain that I am in my purpose, doing what I love, doing what mostly lights me up. But what I've come to realize is that when you decide to build a life that lights you up, when you decide to build your dream, when you decide to step into what feels like your purpose, your mission, the thing that you're here for, it's actually fucking hard. And I had this vision when I used to visualize that it was all it was all sunshine and rainbows and lollipops and unicorn farts, and it was just like to the next thing and the next thing, and the better it gets, and the better it gets. And there's truth to that it has been phenomenal. And it does truly feel like the better it gets, the better it gets. And I also feel like I struggle with loneliness sometimes, because the truth to growing this mission, which is my business, and this lifestyle that I is so aligned to my values. The truth to it is you have to do it alone. And I am not a solopreneur by any means. I never wanted to be, and that's something that I'm sitting with in this year's reflections, because I am such an extroverted person. If you look at my background, and you look at why I got into coaching, why I got into building this business, is because I love people. I love humans. And if you look at this right now, if you're watching on YouTube, I'm literally sitting alone again in my house with technology on a screen. And that's what it is. A lot of the time, a lot of the time. In business, you have to do things alone to be able to build the things to get to get the team back around you and to have the people around you, you've got to be alone to build the clients to go to school for I spent four years growing a business just so that I could be back in a classroom with students just for six days. And that all culminated this year, and it lit me up, for sure, but let's not forget, it's just six days outside of that. I'm doing the lonely things to create that for myself, and I know the next step will be cool. Now I can employ more team and more team and more team so that I don't feel this sense of loneliness and missing collegiality and missing workplace banter and missing workplace, gossip and all of that stuff, like I fucking miss it, and sometimes I'm lonely. And that doesn't mean there's something wrong. It means that, because I'm in my purpose, I have to do the hard things, and there's so much more to it with that and with the next level, means it is hard. First, you do it alone, and you feel, might I add, when you decide to exit the matrix or exit the job, exit the nine to five first, you feel physically or mentally or like emotionally isolated because you're leaving the norm. You're leaving a place which is your normality and which is your security and which is your familiarity, and when it's your familiarity, usually all the people in your life are in a similar familiar and so when you say you're leaving, even if that's your leaving or your colleagues, you do feel a little bit alone. But you're dreaming of this vision. You're dreaming of this big thing. You're dreaming of time freedom. So you go out there and you do the scary thing, and you do it alone. Yeah, but then you start to, well, my experience has been then you quote, do the hard thing so that you can grow this vision. And then the next hurdle becomes, well, now I actually feel a little bit crazy because I've made it. I've done the thing. I'm living the dream life. I have the dream business. Now. I've done it, and now I feel a bit crazy for missing that, for missing that, like I just said, for missing the job, for missing the nine to five, for missing that rigidity, but also the colleagues and and having a consistent paycheck and never wondering how much it's going to be, and not thinking about strategy and and finances and the next level of business, which is, again, I'm not complaining. I'm just sharing so that you understand, for no matter what site, place in your business you're at, whether you're just getting up the courage to do it, or you're growing the business, and you're in that sort of, I don't want to say lonely, but you're doing it, and you're just got your head down, bum up, and you're doing it. And you know that one day you'll have a team and you're going to grow it bigger and or maybe not, but this, this, I hope, helps you to see that this is something that everyone goes through. I've worked with so many people, and everyone goes through some sort of business challenge just because you're living your purpose, just because you're living your dream, just because you have the quote, dream life doesn't mean you get to get away with the hard stuff. In fact, what I've come to realize is that when you decide to build that dream life, therefore must do the hard stuff, which means it's going to feel hard more than it even was before. Because the reason you were leaving the matrix or the job or the rigidity or that Groundhog Day sort of life is because you didn't want that anymore. You wanted something more. You wanted something greater. You wanted more freedom. You wanted more flexibility. And so you left that because it was too comfortable, because it was too automated, because it was too Same, same. You left it for that reason. And by its very nature, to do the opposite means you need to do the uncomfortable, and it actually is that's the truth. To design a life that you're lit up by, to be in your purpose, to live a life that feels like a dream, you need to consistently do things that are hard when you have something on your heart that you really want, and it does feel like your mission, and it gives you purpose that is enough to hopefully make the hard stuff worth it. There's some sort of quote, and I'm going to butcher it now, but it's like working hard for something that you're not passionate about is stress. Working hard for something that you love is a passion. And so when you design a life that lights you up. When you design a business that is a dream, you're not going to be lit up all the time. In fact, a lot of the time, you're going to feel like, What the hell am I doing? This is really hard. Have I done the right thing? Am I doing the right thing? And that doesn't mean that you're doing the wrong thing. It means hopefully, that you've chosen something that is so worthwhile that you are willing and happy to go through the constant ego deaths, the constant pressure, the constant stress. Because when you decide to go all in on your business and a completely different life for yourself, you do have to leave the system, and that is hard. You do have to wear responsibility for where the hell your pay is coming from, and if you're going to get paid, you do have to do lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of work and not know if you're ever going to be reimbursed for it, but happily do it anyway. You do have to grow, and with growth means new levels of hard, and it doesn't feel like you're lit up all the time. It doesn't. It just doesn't, I want to like, and I talk about all the time building a life that lights you up, but what that doesn't mean is that you're skipping around all the time, and it's easy. It's not. It's actually not easy is staying in a job that you don't like. I mean, it's still hard, but at least it's easier than this uncertainty. And to be honest, having a business and doing like, building a life that is a little bit rogue, that is a little bit away from the norm, it takes a certain person. And if you are somebody who really needs certainty and really needs consistency, I don't even think it's for everybody, but if you're somebody who's got something on your heart that makes you so excited and lit up, then just know that when the hard things come up, it doesn't mean anything's wrong. It does not mean anything's wrong. I have been experiencing the last while this feeling like I said of and I do all the time, all the time, I have that thought, why do I do this to myself? I'm nervous again. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I'm dreading this. Why do I keep doing it? Oh, that's right. Because I need to grow, because I want to grow because I chose this life, and I don't want to go back to work, even though sometimes I miss work, and even though sometimes I feel like I'm crazy because I keep doing this thing. Because I love it, and it lights me up. And every now and then, I just get this moment where I'm like, Yes, this is it. This is what I was meant for. I'm in my purpose. But those moments are fleeting. They're fleeting, but they're worth it. And so I think the takeaway from this is, if you are building a life, something that is, something that feels like your mission, your purpose, your why. It gets you so excited, it makes you lit up. Just know that you're not going to be lit up all the time. In fact, it's going to feel hard. It's going to feel like a lot of pressure. It's going to feel like a lot of inconsistency. It's going to feel like consistent ego deaths. It's going to feel like lots of responsibility. It's going to feel like what the hell am I doing to myself? It's going to feel like fear. It's going to feel like excuses coming up. It's going to feel like you've done the work and you're doing really, really well, but then it just evolves in another way, and you're like, Fuck, I thought we were done here. Here it is again. Here's my scarcity again, or here's this other thing coming up for me to look at. It doesn't stop. But when you're on purpose, you're like, I don't care, because it's worth it. So the takeaway is, if you're ever feeling like it's hard, if you're ever feeling like I'm actually not lit up right now, that doesn't mean that something is wrong. Yes, it could be a signal or a sign or something for you to investigate. For example, like I said, I have noticed that I just can't keep doing so much of this solopreneur life. It's not for me. I don't enjoy being by myself. I like collaboration, I like speaking out loud. I like being in teams, and so I'm really bringing that forward into next year, thinking about who I'm hiring, and, you know, all of these things. So yes, there's something for us to look at, but it doesn't mean that something's wrong. And if we have the expectation that I should be lit up all the time and it should be easy, we're going to be disappointed. This, again, is really just another conversation about emotional intelligence and emotional resilience. It's like, Do you have a why or a mission or a lifestyle that you're so excited by that makes it all worth it, and therefore, can you withstand and have the resilience to handle the heart? Because it actually is hard, even though you're building the dream, and even though you might be living the dream, even though you're living your dream, it doesn't mean you get to escape being human. It doesn't mean you get to escape hard shit. It doesn't mean you get to escape all of the things that come with building something that is worthwhile. When it's worthwhile, it usually takes you know that what is that quote? This the juice makes it worth the squeeze. The Squeeze makes it worth the juice. I don't know that you get the juice. If it's something that's amazing, you'll probably have to work a little bit harder for it, and you're not going to be lit up all the time. So let's not have that expectation, because that will make you think that something is wrong and it's not. So that's my little quick pep talk for today. As you can see, I am still wet in my bathers, but I just had to hit record and get this thought out while it was fresh in my head. So it's a bit of a ramble. It's a bit of a rant. I hope it helps. I hope it resonates. If it does, please let me know. Share this. Tag me. I would love to connect and see who's listening. It actually means the world. And like I said, if you want to take some time, take a full day out to reflect on this year and get really, really clear on next year. On your 2025 we have a mind school mini that is just a one day event, and that is all in the show notes. If you would like to join that is all from me. Bye. Thank you for tuning in to the mind school podcast. It is a massive intention of mine to continue to grow this show, because the more the show grows, the better the guests get, and I know that is going to be so powerful for you listening. So if I could ask this massive favor, it would mean the world if you could please leave a review, hit the Follow button, or leave a rating on Spotify, so that we can continue to grow this show and bring you the juiciest, most thought provoking and expansive conversations through incredible guests. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you next week. You.