👻Shadow Work & Bestie Banter: Our 2024 Toxic Trait Confessions with Steph Gorton👯‍♀️

Best friends aren’t supposed to spill the tea like this... but here we are.

This week on The Mind School Podcast, I’m joined by my bestie and business coach, Steph Gorton, as we dive headfirst into the wild world of shadow work.

Let’s just say…it’s gnarly, it’s hilarious, and it’s just a little unhinged.

Here’s a taste of what you’ll hear:

👯‍♀️ What’s our toxic trait? (Yes, we’re airing it all out; no filter!)

👯‍♀️ When was the last time we felt jealous… and why? The answers might surprise you 👀

👯‍♀️ What goals did we completely fail to reach in 2024? (We’re not sugarcoating anything here.)

👯‍♀️ What belief or habit is getting the boot in 2025? (BYE FELICIA!)

This isn’t your average coaching convo, it’s raw, real, and packed with both lol-worthy moments and oh-damn-they’re-talking-to-me truths.

If you’re ready to:

✨ Laugh till you cry

✨ Reflect on your own shadow work

✨ Feel a little less alone in your own messy growth journey

…then hit play ASAP.

🎧 Listen to the Episode Now

Trust me, you’ll be screaming “same!” at least once while listening.

Love laughter & lollies

Breanna & The Mind School Team 

P.S. Text your bestie to tune in too, you’ll want someone to discuss all the juicy moments with. 

As always, please don't forget to hit Subscribe! xxx

Transcript

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Music. Welcome to the mind school, the classroom for your mind and soul, where we design our lives from the inside out. Here you will find a human first approach to life, business and relationships, to create freedom, growth and constant evolution through mindset, emotional intelligence, leadership and connection to self. I'm your host, Breanna may educator, CEO mindset and business mentor, and my mission is to teach the things we were never taught at school, so that no dream is left on the pillow and no purpose left unfulfilled. Here, you can expect a lot of laughs and thought provoking conversations as we squeeze every drop of juice from this beautiful, precious, crazy thing called life. So I'm joined. It feels so weird being formal. This is not right, but I'm joined by Stephanie Gorton. Stephanie Gorton, who has been many titles to me, current title, best friend, but boss, she's been my boss, my business mentor. I've been bridesmaid. They also be bridesmaid, boss, business mentor, bitch, best friend, oh my gosh. And so today we're going to do a few we're going to do a few things today, but we're starting with a fun episode today. I'm not going to do your introduction, because I'll do that at another time. And you've been on this you've been on this podcast. This is your third time. It's my third time, third time repeat offender, repeat offender. Because all the B's, all the B's, we're gonna do a fun episode today. And Steph didn't know that I was doing this. I just literally dropped it on you. So Steph walked in and I'm like, we're gonna play a game, because I needed to shift my mood, because things happened. We're shifting my mood. We're doing a fun game. We're doing rapid fire, which either of us are very good at I have a little iPad in front of me. If you're watching on YouTube, I have an iPad. This was my fun when I was a teacher. This was the game that kids hated. It spin the wheel and it's like, it's like, whatever you get, whatever it spins up, you've got to answer, okay, so we're doing this game. It's kind of like a reflection on 2024 together, which will be really fun, but it's got a bit of like a shadow work tint fun. So we're going to take it in turns. If I can get it to work, we're going to take it in turn spinning, and then we have to answer whatever it comes up with. I really appreciate the effort that you've gone to make this fun and also uncomfortable. So I'm fucking excited slash a little bit of shadow work for us. All right. So let's spin. Tap to spin. Let's go. All right. Spinny, wheel of death. It usually has some sound effects. Come on. Oh, God, this is good. Breanna, what's your toxic trait? Oh, there's so many. My toxic trait is ghosting, like massively ghosting in messages, on WhatsApp, on DMS, I'm in the conversation when I'm in, and then halfway through, I'll just ghost, and you won't hear from me for a few days. Would you can confirm, can confirm I'm terrible on my phone? Yeah, I'm really, really on, and then I'm really, really not. Yeah. I've definitely experienced that from you, yeah, yeah. But I've also, yeah, I feel like we mirror each other's toxicity in that way, so therefore that it doesn't feel toxic at all. So toxic, not toxic at all. See, this is why you play Shadow Work games with your best friends, because you just validate each other. Chris, Chamber of perfection, so we're not toxic, not toxic at all. Not a toxic, right? I'm gonna remove that one, and I'm gonna ask yours. So if you're in our DMS and we accidentally ghost you, it's, it's not hate, it's love, actually, it's just love. It's love. It's boundaries, boundaries. Okay, Steph, yes. Oh, I don't like this. What's my toxic trait? Oh, no, your toxic trait. Be real. Okay, real. Oh, do you know what it's like? My favorite thing about you, and it's also something that I think does probably like store you at times, is, I think that you you think very deeply. And I'm not gonna call it overthinking, because I don't think it's like, I don't think you're like, it's not anxiety driven overthinking paranoia, but it's definitely like you think so deeply about everything, I think you're almost like, trying to find all of the angles and the holes, the things that could potentially come up that it potentially stops you from, like, just moving and taking action. That's Steph reading my soul. Yeah, that's so true. I was totally gonna have this conversation with you over wine today. We need to have this over a while. I had this conversation with Paul last night, but Paul's also a mega deep thinker, deeper even than way deeper than you. Yeah. How did we call him Gandhi? Like Gandhi, he just is a philosophical thinker, and we've anchored into that together, and we've noticed that pattern where we're like we need to stop with all the deep philosophical chats sometimes and just fuck. Have a bit of fun, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, they're also great, but yeah? Like, it's so good, yeah? Like, one of those, like, all shadows have good and bad, right? But it's one of those things that I love the deep thinking, and I love the we're camping with Paul, and it's amazing, and it's so good. It's so deep and amazing. And also that I see it like, sometimes I'm like, Brie, you're thinking, like, as your business coach, I'm like, Brie, you're thinking so much. You just need to do the thing, yeah, just do it. You're so right, yeah, okay, I feel really sane. Thank you. That was great. That's also a great toxic one to have, yeah? I feel like, yeah, definitely nasty. Okay, let's go again so we have, oh, my god, the weight is killing me. If your shadow self were a TV villain, what would your tagline be if I was a villain? So if you're a villain, what would your shadow self was the villain? So if your bad bitch, it would be pretty slutty. Oh, would it? Yeah. Oh, I love Yeah. It would be like, the tagline would be, like, I don't know, something saucy. And like, lock up your husband. We need to cover really, like, shadow self would be just like, it's all fun and games and nobody's off limits. I love it. The more off bounds, the more she'll lean in. Yeah, nice. I prefer don't cut the first one. It was my favorite. Yeah, that's probably my shadow fun, yeah, have you read a book called existential kink? No, you will love it. Yeah. Read that. That's when I started to realize that that's your thing, yeah? Okay, nice. The things that you claim to hate are also, like, deeply, like, arousing, yeah? Okay, interesting. Oh, interesting. I feel like I want to go on a night out with your shutter self. She would be fun. Yeah, she's fun. She's dangerous. Next day, she regrets, yeah, but it's like, I feel like a slut drop off, yeah, definitely, yeah, definitely where my head was at, not like, yeah, not cheating, but yeah, holy moly, yeah, that's probably mine. What would yours be? I feel like mine probably be like, fuck it. I'm just gonna tell it how it is, or, you know, like, yeah. And I just love to walk around and just say, what's my mind to say that for fucking time, that would be so sassy for me. I would just really enjoy that you'd be sus I think I'd be like, just brutally honest, yeah, because I do hold back a lot for brutal honesty. Yeah, so I think my shadow selfish is like, dying to say what's on her mind. Yeah, he's good. Hey, when was the last time, when was the last time you felt jealous? And what did it teach you about desire? This is interesting. Interestingly enough. Oh, interesting. The last time I felt jealous, I've really dissolved a lot of jealousy, just to really clear and just for anyone listening, because I think that jealousy is just misplaced inspiration. And so now, when I don't, I wouldn't acknowledge it as jealousy, yeah, we just feel it as inspiration. But the last time I felt jealous, before I was aware that it was jealousy. It was actually a view which is super interesting. So years ago now, when Bree went on her first bicycle tour of Europe, which she laughed at me for, by the way, so the shadows presented, because you're like, wait, like, that's the lamest I've ever on a do that? I was like, What do business class? When were you over there? So nope, for me, but then I think, what? It's still Nope. It's no but the joy, the freedom that you, that I could I witness you experiencing, and also the money that you made while living that experience really showed me that at that time, I'd been massively overworking for a really extended period of time, and so I realized in that moment that I was like, Oh, I don't I'm jealous of Bree and the life she's living. And I felt jealous. And what I did with that jealousy, interesting for anyone that's listening, but I did with that jealousy, was I went online and I called up your hotel and I ordered a bottle of champagne to your room to celebrate the fuck out of you, even though what I really felt was like, Why? Why can't I do that? Why? What does she unlock that I have not unlocked? And then I remembered, like, that was kind of my first like gift in realizing that, like, if that's what you want, Steph, you can also create that. And, like, there's your proof, which is just so cool. I love that. And I actually reflected on that, because you did tell me that last time I think we were together, you were we reflected on this. And I actually said to Paul after that is why you're my best friend. Like you had the awareness and the safety to be experiencing jealousy, and I had no freaking idea, like I just knew that you had ordered this bougie champagne to our Santorini hotel, and I felt nothing but supported, even though you were jealous, there was no projections. There was no weird ickiness, and then you actually told me about it. So it was like, safety on safety on safety. Because A, I didn't feel the projections of that stuff going on. And B, we then just spoke about it and had a laugh. And I was like, I don't think that it's about dissolving jealousy so that it never happens, but it's exactly what you did where it's like, don't let your shit pre projected onto someone else, and it just made me love you even more. Yeah, anything I feel is a me thing. Like, I feel like I was genuinely happy for you, you know. And I tried to explain it to Tim at the time, and I was like, No, but I'm happy for her. He's like, Well, you don't really seem it. And I was like, I understand, I understand. I really need to work on this. Yeah, I really have to work on today. Like, yeah, so cool, because you really did after that, like, you've not stopped traveling the last year. No, yeah, really lit something under me. So thank you. I'm so glad. Thank you. I'm so okay. You're up, am I? Yeah, it's me too. Okay, these are, these are really good. Good job. This is fun, yeah, bring it back. Make it fun again. Okay? Bri, what's a bad habit that you can't let go of chocolate? Chocolate time, chocolate at night. I have chocolate after every dinner. There's been a few nights lately where I don't but chocolate. What's your go to? Chocolate? Lint, dark. I usually stick to dark chocolate, okay, but I don't, I think, is it even something I want to not do? Like, I don't know. It doesn't mean it doesn't feel like the first thing that like, am I sad about it? Not really like I have two squares of chocolates. I don't know something that I would like to my phone, my phone, like, even when I went for a walk to just before I went to re park my car, and I was walking down noticing that I was, you know, when your thumb does that thing between the apps, yes, Instagram, emails, and you just and I was like, What am I doing? Like, it's a two minute break. Yeah. Why do I need to check all these apps? And it's just this unconscious habit that I've noticed and that I find hard to let go of if I'm not really consciously on top of it totally we Tim checked his screen time. He's like, so we have really, we're pretty hardcore on each other. He checked his screen time recently, and he realized Tim's got quite an addictive nature, like, he's gets pretty obsessive about stuff when he suggests about it. And he found that he was, like, spending like, six hours on his phone a day, and which is, like, way too much, like, way more than we would be liking to spend. And I realized I was spending about three and a half, which I'm actually reasonably happy with. I think it's pretty good, yeah, considering running businesses, yeah. But Tim's was sitting up six, sometimes seven, sometimes eight hours a day, and six those hours on Instagram. And he was like, this isn't even my main platform, like, and that's sometimes used up. And now he's deleted all platforms. His screen times dropped down. Dropped down to two hours, you know, like, yeah, so, like, you have to call it and say, hey. Like, it's in those moments when you're walking between something two minutes and you're like, Yeah, fidgeting for your phone or your bag, and you're thinking, why don't you want my phone? And what for? Like, what are we gonna look at? Those are the moments that inspiration used to drop in. And so that's something that I've just been really conscious of this last few weeks. And I, same as Tim, I put the, you know, you can put the locks on, so after three hours, it kicks me out, perfect. And it's, it's actually scary how quickly that can, like, add up, add up time. Totally, yeah, totally, massively. Okay, ready? What's your go to excuse for avoiding plans? I'm kind of this go to excuse for avoiding plans. Look, I mean, so for me personally, now I usually just be honest. At this point, I'm just like, I really don't feel well, I don't feel like it. I'm not feeling up to it, yeah, honestly, I'm gonna be no fun, yeah? Like, it'll be usually very honest, yeah, toxic tray, I'll be really honest though. Shadow shit the past. Steph, like me back in the day, like, four years ago, oh, like, I was, like, always sick, or car problems, or, like my mom was sick, which, I mean, isn't it? If you know myself, my mom's like, not too far, too far jump. But I always, like, made up excuses. Yes. Now I'm just a lot more honest about excuses. And I think the biggest thing is I don't avoid plans as much anymore, make them as much anymore. I won't say yes to shit that I don't want to go to 100% like. So I'm so much more fierce with what I say yes to Yeah, then I'm then 100% committed to showing up for it. Yeah, you guys might be able to hear I'm a little bit sick. Yeah, I've had a cold last couple of days. I call them level up colds. Obviously something big is coming. Breanna both woke up. We have cold sores. What the fuck I've never had one. I think you've given it to me. I gotta stop passion. Stop I've got to stop it. It's because I'm your we need to find a baby. Apparently, now there's a cold, so giving, sharing thing happening in our friendship cycle. So yeah, it definitely wasn't me, by the way guys looking at Paul and being very, very dubious, poor guy, I know. Know, but at the end of the day, like, I was like, Tim, was like, oh, maybe you should cancel. Like, you're not feeling 100% I was like, no, no, yeah, because I made a commitment and I want to do it, yeah. I think that makes all the difference, right? 100% Yeah, yeah. Okay, so funny that it used to be just lying. Mine was the same, yeah, just a lie. Why? And then noticing how many times I would lie brought the awareness to what I don't actually want to do totally and like, How many times did you lie to the same person and it got to the point where you were like, why am I still saying yes, if I have to keep lying to get out of it, like that brought the awareness on, right? Yeah, I had those people as well in my life. 100% Oh, love Breanna, what does your drunk self tell us about your repressed self? I feel like you kind of unlocked. I just kind of may have just touched on it, yeah, yeah. I'd say that there was years of repression sexually, yeah. So drunk self in the past was very like, just more like, there's so many ways to answer this, depending on what era of my life I look at. There was definitely a time where drunk self was a little girl who wanted to be validated and needed to be the chosen one. Oh, yep. Like, definitely my drunk self needed to be the Chosen One on the dance floor, even if I wasn't interested. I liked the game and I needed to win. Interesting. There was definitely some of that. I reckon there might still be, like, elements of, I need a win. Yeah. And if you say I can't have something. I want it more. Yeah, so that's still there, and then over the years, that's kind of gone away in terms of all of that. But I think, do you know what? More recently, now, I would say it's actually the repression of fun. I'm a hoot. Yeah, I'm a hoot. And I always was like, I think we spoke about this, right? Like, a huge part of my identity in all of my 20s, and before then, was like party girl, and the life of the party, not just the party girl, like the one on the tables, the last one at the club, like, and that was a part of my identity, because I actually loved it. I love fun, but I love having fun. No, there's people who love father, and there's people like you and I, that's it's different. Yeah, we are, like, the life of the party. We haven't partied together, actually, which is super big, not big and But same thing, yeah. So, like, exactly, same thing. Always, the last one the dance floor, first one on the table. Like, always, you know that girl and so, like, like, go big, go home. Kind of energy, yeah. And I would say more recently now, like, if I was to have a few drinks and go out now, that would be the repression. It would be like, Yes, let's go down. It's like, this part of me that's like, it's gotten a bit serious when you're building a business, and when you're, you know, trying for family, all these things, it gets a bit serious. And then now that's actually really interesting. Now my repressed self is, like, craving a little bit of, like, a good time. A good time. Yeah, totally, totally. I reckon there's a phase of life in your mid 30s where she just gets really serious, yeah. I mean, like, actually, can we go back to what we used to? We've been feeling that, yeah, we've been talking about this as well. But, yeah, I totally think there's something in your mid 30s where you're just, like, everyone's where you just, like, everyone's like, kind of growing up, yeah? Responsibilities. Just get a little box. Yeah. Yeah. 100% Yeah. What's, oh, I'm excited to hear the answer to this. What's a moment this year where you felt the most aligned with your true self? To be honest, I actually think it was very recent, and we just came back from a really cool America trip, and it was the first time that I think, really, honestly, the in the last four weeks, I've just fully accepted who I am, like warts and all, like fully, truly cold sores over here, We're down. It's what happens. It's not always hot, definitely not always hot, and I've just accepted that, like, I'm different, we're all different, that I really accepted how I'm different. And I think I used to myself feel bad for those things, like wrong. I think I've always been trying to find ways in which I'm wrong, or, you know, different from other people, and why we're instead of just accepting that I am, yeah and that, and in some ways, into the way that this mostly plays out, in a lot of ways, is that, like, if we do have really big goals, and do have really big dreams, and we do really like working, and as much as this, I, you know, I'm really conscious of my social media feed being like, oh, you should be in this energy and have this and do this and do this, I feel most lit up when I am doing these things. I feel most alive when I am doing these things. And then maybe that won't be forever, but for this season, yeah, right now, it felt really good. You know me, and you've spoken about this before, yeah, for me, on behalf of me, but to have a really big thing to go for, and for it to be really not scary, but challenging, and to know that there's going to be an inherent amount of risk attached to it fucking turns Yeah, I'm like, it's so you. Yeah, it's so you. And I think that, like we spoke about it in WhatsApp while you're in America. And I was like, I. Always get protective as your friend, where I'm like, as long as you're always looking after your soul as well. Like, you know, yeah. But then when you spoke about it, and we talked about it, and after Kerwin Ray's death, like, I think that activated something deep for you. I know it did for me, but for you, I was like, Whoa, yeah. And then I'm so glad you said to me, like, nah, this is actually coming from the most grounded, healthy place. And I was like, fucking send it then, because it is your purpose. Like, I see you lit up doing all the work, and I see you then try to make yourself wrong for not having things outside of work that light you up as much. Yeah, it's like, but that is your purpose, correct? And everyone's like, Oh, but what about family? And I'm like, Well, if you have my family exactly, maybe you would not want to hang out with them, as much different for everybody, right? Like? And I think that, yeah, it doesn't. I don't. My life doesn't look the same. And I'm really fortunate that I've found Tim and we're in really similar boats, yeah. And so, you know, because of that, we we've just really on track with each other about it. And sometimes I've been wondering, is it my stuff, or is it Tim's stuff? Am I like, Am I just copying, or is it, you know, and it's just taken a little while for it all to just land, yeah, and recently, just all landed. And it feels so good. It feels, I feel really at ease. Was America the catalyst for that? Yeah, it really was. And just being around others that are exactly the same, yeah, I just realized that there was so yes, being around others that were the same and realizing the likeness, yeah, whereas there was a lot of times, especially in Perth, but in general, at the end of the day, there's not that many people playing at that level, no. So there's so few, there's going to be few of us, right? Let's like, whatever, however many people are in the world, a couple of 1000, probably maybe 400,000 at most. And so I don't get to meet that many people. And when I hang out with people and I talk business that aren't wanting to go where we want to go, or aren't there, yeah. And so because the people who are there don't have stories about being there, yeah, they're just there, yeah. So let's say we're talking about 10 million, right? So we're talking about 10 million company with, you know, multiple employees and multiple teams and multiple programs and online events and retreats and huge things and big impact, and maybe their own television show, let's say that that's what the goal was, right? Yeah? Then when you meet people who are there, so grounded, so normal, yeah? So like, fine, yeah. Then when you hang up people who aren't there, they have a lot of story about what it would be like to be there, yeah, and what you would have to sacrifice to be there. And when you speak to people who are there, they're like, it wasn't that bad, yeah, this, yeah, yeah, okay, I've been making this a really big story for me. Yeah. I've been making this a really, like, hard thing, yeah. I've been making this an identity thing, or, yeah, yeah, thing where, like, the identity is already grounded, just the story wasn't, yeah, get tapped in the meaning that you made, meaning that I made from it, yeah, and it's so good, yeah, the story I told myself about what it would take to get there, yeah, when you meet people there, you just like, are they just so normal? Yeah, they're just, they're flawed and all you know, of course, yeah, then anyone can do it. I'm so excited for you. I'm so excited for you to just own it, yeah. It feels really good, yeah. And to own it from Perth, which is really nice. You're gonna, yeah, there you've got Paul and now on the screen, that was not rapid fire, no, okay, but I love that. I'm so excited to hear all the America stuff. Yeah. I'm very excited to tell you, Okay, what's a habit I'm gonna use belief. What's a belief you're leaving behind in 2024 okay, this is a really good one to chat about with you. The belief that this is going to be no surprise to you. The belief is something, and I haven't got the articulation for it fully, but it's something around more scale equals more pressure, or more team, and more scale equals more responsibility, and I've got this huge you've seen it like every time. I think because my highest value is lifestyle, time and family, I'm so protective, and that sabotages me to a point in my business, because I'll always say to you, like, Yeah, but I don't want to sacrifice this or like, but I love my life. I love my time, and I don't want to so it's obviously I have this incongruence internally, where it's like, I don't believe you get to have both, because I do want to scale and make huge impact in the mind school. But there is some belief about what that's going to take, and I'm unwilling to sacrifice family time and all of that kind of thing, which is silly, because I've seen people that have both totally I've seen it, yeah, lots, yeah, yeah, not lots, because not that many people do. It's not a lot of people don't do it because the belief of this exact story. Like, I genuinely because I had the story, yeah, I had the story, yeah. But, you know, I don't want a team. It's like, okay, but the minute you get a great and you've had team members you've loved, and when you get a great team, it's the best Yeah, and no, it's not perfect, and it's not always easy, and it's not always gonna be fun, but it's gonna be a lot of fun a lot of the time. And I'm so down for you to leave this story behind. Yeah, I'm so down for you to rewrite. Excited, yeah, yeah. And there's also not a lot of role models, I would say, that are doing it with also at this, at the season of life, where they're growing a family. So that's another thing where I'm like, Oh, can I have all of it at once? And I know I can, but there's something there that I'm ready to leave behind. So it's not gonna, it's not going to serve the mind school. I'm the thing holding it back, and there are so I think, yeah, we'll talk about it later, obviously. But I do think that there's just so many people need mind school, and I'm such a big champion of getting this in all the places, not just like, yes, of course, the actual school. So the thing you've built into schools, into education systems, into teacher upskilling, into, like, there's just so many avenues that are needed in this space that just makes so much sense for you to champion. But I just don't think it can be you being the champion. Like, yeah, yeah, you can be the face, but not the whole thing, yeah. So it's exciting. I'm very excited. I definitely spent some time thinking about it yesterday, because I sent you a few sad messages. So many times I've said to Steph, I need a business partner, like, I need a seat. I need a manager to manage me. And Steph being like, No, I don't know if you need it yet. And after the last time we caught up, you're like, Oh, you do, yeah, I wanted to find that person. I realized that, yes, if you're out there and you're listening and you got skills, skills that we need, skills that I am not, yeah, skills manage me we need. Yeah, if someone wants to manage free and has skills, has interesting coaching or, like, understanding my school and interest in the area, that has probably logistical data driven Facebook, yeah, reach out, yeah? Because I'm excited. I'm excited to see where I take that next year. Because, yeah, the mind school's ready, yeah, oh yeah, it's mine. School's ready to go, ready, ready to burn. All right, we are down to the last ones. What trait in others annoys you the most. Oh, and how you actually also like that interesting, because I had one come to mind, and I was like, Well, I'm not like that. Oh, she's struggling. I'm trying to think of like I said just yesterday. I was like, I said to him. I was like, you know what's really annoying? I was like people who winch, like, I get really frustrated by people who winch. And while the way in which I was framing, it was very much like, almost like a victim, yeah, mentality, everything's like, not hard, giving up. Well, no, someone come save me. Everything is hard. Why is it so difficult for me? And I was like, Oh, it really frustrates me, yeah, because, like, it's so much more powerful when you just go, You know what? It's fucking hard. It's because at some level, I'm not doing the things I need to do. I need to be better. And in saying that, there's probably shit that I do need to do in that regard, like, with regard to, like, my weight and my body, I definitely get whingy. Why can't I, like, get really annoyed when I see other people, yeah, genetically, yeah, like, bodies and six foot tall, whatever the they want, all the time, and I'm over here, like, you know, yeah, looking at food and gaining a kilo, maybe a four foot so I am nowhere to go. Can't sneak a cupcake. And so, you know, I think that I get a bit wingy. I can definitely say that in some there are days where I get very whingy about that, yeah. And also, I've touched on it a few times here. Also about my family. I definitely, and definitely can get very big to me, very windy about my family. Like, I look at your family and I'm like, That would be so nice. That would be so amazing. Yeah, so interesting. Because you actually don't winch much. I can honestly back that. I don't, I would say that's probably, there's your like, little, it's more, like, it's more, I think you're repressed winger totally, because you're so aware of it that you don't do whatever. There's probably an internal, like, I think as an internal, I will never be a victim, so there's probably like, repressed victim mentality or something totally, yeah, I don't winch. I really don't. I really don't winch. You don't. And Tim would never let that fly. No, never, ever. No, he would call me on it instantly. Yeah, that I do feel like maybe yeah, that you're like, yeah, and there's, I reckon there's a picture. Well, I've actually played around with because I'm the same. I freaking hate the victim mentality, the woe is me, but I I'm the same as you. I don't outwardly do it, but then I repress myself from feeling it recently with the fertility stuff, I've actually allowed myself to be a little victim every now and then. And fuck, it feels good. You know what? All you need. Someone told me this other way. Well, someone said to me, another week, you just need 30 seconds. Yeah, if you need to cry, yeah, you just need to cry harder. Yes, because, like, you don't have more than 30 seconds anymore. Like, agree and you. Gotta just like, heave it. I was sick yesterday, yeah, not feeling well, yeah. I felt like Tim was neglecting me. He wasn't. I was going crazy, yeah? And I just went to the toilet. I just like, cried. And I was like, You know what? Step, just cry it out. Just get it all out of your system right now. Yeah, literally, 45 seconds later, I was like, that was so silly, yeah? And it feels good, yeah. I think sometimes you just got to let it all out. You got to give yourself the moment. Otherwise it just builds. Yeah, yeah. And then you start hating it in other people, okay, oh, you've got all these really like, what interesting ones? What's one lesson from 2024 that you're grateful for, even if it was painful, the painful, I don't even know if I'm at the other side of it yet. I'm still in the pain, but I'm having to learn, okay, there's probably a few things, and this is where you're going to see me overthink it and look at multiple lenses and angles and perspectives and go around the twist. But the fertility journey has been painful, and the lesson that I feel like I'm being forced into is to surrender and give up control. But at the same time, I'm going around and around in my head, thinking, if I go in, if I do IVF, am I then really not trusting? If my lesson is trust and surrender, I wouldn't believe I need IVF, because nobody can find a reason, and I'm such a person that needs a root cause for things. So I'm I get in my own way. Because I'm like, I need to find the root cause, and until I do, I'm not going to just bend on my beliefs. But now I'm like, is the is the lesson that I need surrender and just trust, like full trust it'll happen when it's meant to happen, because there is nothing medically wrong. And so if it really is about trust, if I move into IVF, am I really trusting? But then if I don't move into IVF, am I getting in my own way? Because actually, my body needs some support. Can you see how I might both ways and again? And I feel like trust plays both ways. Yes, maybe trust is trusting in the system or trusting in somebody else to support you. Yeah, and I don't know which, which, yeah, direction, but I feel like trust, and maybe it's also like getting out of my own way, because I can be stubborn in my beliefs. No way. No, I don't. When they said unexplained infertility, I was like, Don't tell me unexplained. Yeah, sucks. I hate unexplained. I will always find an answer. You're also an academic, so you like to have answers. Like, there's like, you like hypothesis, you like proof. You like root cause, root cause. You enjoy research. Like, there is an element of you that is, you know, academic like and really loves the whole process of understanding the picture, and when I can't get an answer, that'll be very frustrating. Yeah? So I actually don't know what the lesson is. It's been painful, yeah, but I'm not sure yet what the which way to go with the lesson. I think it's trust, but it could also be I'm being so stubborn now that I'm getting in my way. I'm holding on to beliefs that no longer serve me around IVF, and maybe what I need to do is open up to support. Or do I lean into trust and believe totally Yes. Both work. Yeah, yes. And there's my topic trait, yeah. And you guys just watch uh, breanna's thinking, play up, yeah, yeah, multiple angles and then spinning around in a circle, yeah? But I am moving closer toward IBM. I feel like this, though, is one of those things you do want to overthink, to be fair, yeah? Like, you know, should I run ads? When I run ads, is like, ads, yeah, you know, whatever. But I feel like Steph is an influencer for meta. I should get kicked back on ads. You should, you should look into that. Yeah, it's something that needs a little bit more thinking that you thinking about it is a good thing. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know what the lesson is, but it's definitely been a painful thing. If 2024 okay, this is an easy one for you. Oh, if 2024 had a theme song, what would it be? It's the theme of 2024 I feel like you've gone through so many different iterations, a lot of iterations. Yeah, like it started in a caravan. There was a caravan. There was a caravan troupe, caravan trip. You did fertility stuff. And then we came out of it. Then we were like, peace out. We don't want it anymore, and now we're gonna try again next year. Yeah, for me, it's been a season two. Very much. I think this year's been a real big identity season for me, of trying, I think all the last kind of, well, my entire life, I think I've been trying all different identities, and I think I finally found the one that fits, which is really nice. What would you say is the language for that? What is like? What would that be? What's your identity? Now, though, that's landing I don't know how I'd language her. I don't know how I'd language it right now, it feels just very calm, which business hasn't felt for me before, yeah, and life hasn't felt for me before. So, yeah. Yeah, it feels and it has been feeling harmful, you know, for weeks, like it's not Yeah, there's been no, yeah. It's crazy how simple it's all felt, and how easy and easeful it's felt. Now it's a season, of course, yeah, hardships around the corner, but it has felt easy. Maybe it's that song. Am I gonna have to sing it? Because I don't know what it's called, just was a musical theater, guys, come on, it's gonna be like this. Let's go. There's no excuses. Now I'm talking here. And now the one, well, we just bought you. Yeah, I know the one. Okay, so listeners that are watching this on YouTube or viewers, both of us were actually musical theater nerds. We learned a bit of musical I think Danny is a singing lessons, yeah? Well, yeah, that was how that played out. So that played out, yeah, I get that for you. I like that for you, yeah, like you've entered like a I feel like it's giving hormozi. It feels worth giving, you know what? I'm sick of being told there's something wrong with me because of how much I love this shit. Yeah. I'm sick of being told that I should want different. This is what I fucking love. Watch me go, yeah, and I know no secrets that I love him and her, and do I think that they're toxic at times? Yeah, of course. And then do I also judge that? Because I see that in myself, yeah, probably mostly Yeah. And so I have been listening to a lot of his podcasts lately with Chris wills, and I just wanted to listen to that. Well, you would love it, yeah? And I just think that, yeah, I think it's probably giving Yeah, I see that, and I love that, but not the freezing eggs part. So are they freezing eggs? I thought they didn't want kids. I think that they want to make that have the option to make the choice. That makes sense. Yeah, Okay, last one for you, what's the most ridiculous thing that you spent money on this year? Successful. Well, that was the best investment you made. The best investment, 100% though, like 100% seriously in terms of coaching programs, 100% um, ridiculous thing I've spent money on this year. There's probably so much, I mean, Shane, everything that I ever buy on Shane, did you wear any of it? Because he never wear any of it. There'd be a lot of stuff from sheen that I've got to stop with. But I can't think of anything that's really ridiculous or something that I've instantly regretted. I make lots of irrational decisions, even in business, like, I just go, yep, that's what I want to do that now and then I'm like, Oh, that wasn't the right choice. That's the only way, you know, though. But I do, yeah, I can't think of anything off the top of my head, okay, but I'll say something probably from sheen. Okay, sorry, that was lame. I loved it. Yeah, I really enjoyed it. All right. Last question of the day, is it mine to you? Yeah, would you like it? Wait, what were we doing? Yeah, we'll both answer. I think this is fun. Oh, it's a great one to end on. Okay, not, not a high, necessarily. Well, we've done the dancing. What's a goal that you did not achieve in 2024 and What stopped you? Interesting. My main goal for this year was to launch and grow the mind school, and I feel like it that was exceeded expectations. So the main goals I did have an intention to grow my podcast, and that hasn't happened in terms of in terms of downloads. Yeah, hasn't happened, guys, if you're listening, don't be a ho, share the show. Yeah. Ho, share the show. That's probably one that I haven't hit. And why would be it hasn't been my top of focus. Just hasn't mine. School was, yeah, I guess if you're going like, I didn't get pregnant this year and What stopped you? Not lack of trying, definitely not. Man, that just, yeah. So that's a goal that has not yet been achieved, but that's coming, and everything else feels good. Yeah, yeah. What about you? I think we did it all. Yeah. I think we did it all. I would say every year I'd love to get down a couple of kilos, and it just, it's those last three and you may think every year, yeah, it's three kilos, and she just won't leave. And I blame her, but it's me. She uses the she is the problem. Yeah, she's me, shadow self. She is like, yeah, she's an eater. Is it an emotional lady or just, literally, you don't have much calories to play I don't have much calories to play with. And I stop measuring, and if I stop measuring, it just, you know, it starts out okay, because, you kind of, know, then you have one meal, yeah? And then, and then it's a bit bigger, and then the next day you're hungry because you had a bit of a bigger meal, yeah. So your stomach's like, adjusting next minute you're just, like, eating more than you need to, you know. And I'm never really, like, it's always in this three kilo, like. Space, you know. So we never, like, overweight, you know, would look at me like, Oh, she's gaining weight, but I feel it, and I can, I can never quite keep it off. Do you reckon travel plays a part, for sure, and eating out, like, yeah, for sure. Like, we're home now, I'm cooking all three meals every day, and it's fine. And, yeah, immediately dropping away. Yeah, that America like 100% what are you supposed to do? Yeah, cycle. Yeah. Well, that's true. That is the answer, honestly, the answer. It was my miracle answer to enjoying all the food when I'm feeling all the drinks, everything, yeah, but cycling my way through, we can actually cycle in along the beach one day in America. And I said to Tim, I think I could do this. Get out. They had a really comfortable bike seat. Get out. It really matters. So we were on the bike for an hour. That's unheard of for me. Oh, it's not like, cycle across the country. Maybe we can try it next, yeah? Maybe, if you could go for like, maybe, maybe we have two hours. Okay, we'll meet you somewhere in your RV. Yeah, that'll be go cycle together. Yeah? Fun. 2025 you heard goals. It'll be the next vlog, the next 25 vlog. Thanks so much for that. That was fun. That was so fun. Really excited to go have wines. Yeah, let's do that. Thank you for tuning in to the mind school podcast. It is a massive intention of mine to continue to grow this show, because the more the show grows, the better the guests get, and I know that is going to be so powerful for you listening. So if I could ask this massive favor, it would mean the world if you could please leave a review, hit the Follow button or leave a rating on Spotify, so that we can continue to grow this show and bring you the juiciest, most thought provoking and expansive conversations through incredible guests. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you next week. You.