Inside the Mind of a Recovered Meth Addict: A Story of Destruction and Hope, with Paris Le Maistre

Hey Legends,

This week’s episode is not your average success story.

But it's probably one of the most interesting conversations I’ve ever had.

I sat down with Paris Le Maistre, and I walked away absolutely gobsmacked by the trenchy-depths she’s lived through, and the heights she’s now rising to. It is a story of being:

💥 Addicted to meth at 19.

💥 Using daily for a decade.

💥 What a hit of meth actually feels like (I had to know)

💥 What it looks like to be a high-functioning meth addict (my assumptions and stereotypes were so wrong).

💥 The crazy shit that happens on drug-induced psychosis.

💥 How she got into high-class escorting to survive...and the wild things she witnessed in the Underbelly of Melbourne 

And how, somehow…

💫 She clawed her way out

💫 She found sobriety

💫 She’s built a business helping others do the same

💫 She’s become the kind of woman who can say “I got this” and mean it.

This is not a cute little redemption arc.

This is a jaw-dropping, holy-shit-she-survived kind of story. 

And it will recalibrate your compassion, your understanding of addiction, and your belief in what's possible.

✨ If you’ve ever known someone battling demons they don’t talk about…

 ✨ If you’ve ever been curious what really goes on beneath addiction…

 ✨ Or if you just want to witness a woman turning her pain into powerful purpose...

You need to listen to this episode.

🎧 Listen here →  

Paris, I see you.

And for everyone who tunes in, I think you’ll walk away seeing yourself and others, a little more clearly too.

With massive admiration, 

 B x

As always, please don't forget to hit Subscribe! xxx

Transcript

Breanna Hunter: 0:00

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the mind school Podcast. I'm really excited to be here, really excited to be dropping a solo it feels to me like I haven't been sitting here in my home studio for quite some time, because I've had really great guests on lately. But I also went to a studio a few weeks ago now to share my pregnancy news, and I haven't done another episode since. I've announced on my social media and in my communities that I am pregnant, and that is so exciting. There is just so much I want to say. If I'm completely honest, I've also been really sitting with like, how much of my podcast, my content, my business, my personality? Do I want to how much of motherhood pregnancy do I want to bring into my business and to my brand? And I honestly still don't know the answer to that, but what I do know is that I am going to be recording separate pregnancy series, like a pregnancy diaries, and that's just because I'm super conscious of this podcast becoming too much on that one topic, and so there's going to be a separate episode once a month where I'm just going to share what's going on in the pregnancy space, what I'm going through in that space with birthing and preparation and motherhood and identity shifts. And you know, first trimester, second trimester, all these things. I'm going to go through that in separate monthly episodes. But for today, I actually have an episode or a topic that is something I've been thinking about for a very long time. And I think this is really going to relate to so many people. If you have been someone who does a lot of personal development work has been, quote, doing the work has been interested in doing the courses you've got, the coach you've got, you've maybe done certifications. It's just who you are. You love it. Whatever you might have noticed that you go through seasons, and it might sound like, oh, was my life better before I became self aware. Was my life better before I did all this personal development work? Am I better off? Have I actually changed? And there's almost like these hangovers and these shadow sides of the personal development industry. And today I want to talk about it, because the truth is, I love the industry I'm in. I love my coaching business. It has given me and my clients so much. It has changed lives. It has changed my own life. There is so much positive in it. But I've also had my own weird dynamics, relationship with the personal development industry, with the coaching industry. And the truth is, a lot of the time, I'm like, Oh, this industry gives me the ick. This industry is ill, but like any industry, and I reflected on that, and I'm like, no industry is perfect. When I worked in the legal space, I was like, Oh, this is kind of there was a lot there. When I worked in the education space, it was a beautiful industry that I loved with so many problems. So no industry is perfect, but there is still some things I want to talk about, and these are just things that I've noticed, and I'm going to share the six stages of the personal development relationship. And the invitation for you is to just bring some awareness and reflection to where are you at in your personal development journey? Because I have seen six very distinct stages, and I've walked through all of them myself. I'm going to share my journey. I'm also going to share what I witness in clients and why I think sometimes people end up worse off or haven't changed at all, even though they've been doing all the courses they've got the coach. They say they're so self aware, they say they're so love and light, they say that they do the work, but nothing actually has changed. So I want to talk about that, because I do believe a lot of people are actually in a toxic relationship with the personal development industry. Maybe it's coaches, and I've seen coaches that are in toxic dynamics within their coaching businesses. Maybe it's just as a person who consumes the content, the self help content, the personal development content, is it becoming toxic? I have seen many instances where it is and I want to share my own experience, like I said, so that you can reflect on yours and know when it's time to put down something that was once a tool that has actually become a bit of a weapon. So I want to go through the first phase, and I'm going to liken this, this relate. I'm going to liken it to a relationship. This whole theory that personal development and all of its stages is like a relationship, but like any relationship, sometimes you don't notice that it's an unhealthy relationship until it's actually caused havoc in your life. So the first set, the first phase is, you've met someone new, you're dating, and it feels like first love. That's what phase one of a relationship with the personal development industry feels like. So. So for me, if I go back now, six years ago, my first love or dating experience or Phase One was I came into the personal development industry very accidentally. I was in a place in my life where I was super frustrated, I was really unfulfilled, I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew that it wasn't where I am now. I had my 30th coming up. I was a teacher. I'd been a teacher for five years, and I was like, This can't be it like I can't is this it? Am I going to be the person getting their 10 year badge, their 20 year badge, waiting too long service leave, waiting for maternity leave, waiting for school holidays. And I just felt like, this, isn't it? And that brought for me a bit of a search. It was like this soul searching of like, what am I here for? What do I want? What am I going to do? And underneath it, there actually wasn't even, I think, at the beginning, at this stage, at stage one of like, dating, you don't even know that there's other options out there. Like, I was like, but I'm a teacher, and that's what I've done. I've done law and I've done teaching. So what else can I do? I wasn't even open to other ways of thinking, and I was so closed and narrow minded that I didn't even have the consciousness or the awareness to know that I was living in a boxed in paradigm. I was living in a boxed in paradigm, but I didn't know it. I didn't know there was other possibilities. And so there I was feeling really, really frustrated. And so through completely just seeking out, what the hell am I going to do, I ended up dating the personal development industry. And for me, it came through a coach who was Bob Proctor, and I didn't even know who he was. I didn't know what He taught. I didn't know what the coaching space was. I didn't I didn't know what existed. And it's so interesting to reflect on now, because now a lot of coaches and people will say, Oh, my God, the industry is so saturated. And I always reflect and go, no, no, your mind is saturated, your algorithm is saturated, your feed is saturated, but you've probably forgotten that 456, years ago, you didn't even know a coach was a thing. You didn't even know this industry existed. So I didn't know it existed. But I needed someone to help me figure out what to do with my life, because how I entered the personal development and dating, if we call this step one of dating, was like I needed help. I was looking for a Savior. I was looking for support. I needed a new I needed clarity. It was like this soul searching thing, and in phase one, what happens? It's like when you meet your first love, when you start dating your first love, your whole world changes. You start seeing things differently. You've got rose colored glasses, and it's the best fucking thing, like in the stage one of the personal development industry, you actually start to open your mind to all these other possibilities. And you actually realize, maybe for the first time in your life, like, Holy fucking shit, there is a whole other universe out there. And you realize all your limitation. And my first coach, Bob Proctor, basically opened a whole nother universe. And it was like I remember saying to someone, I was sent on a work conference when I was doing this work with Bob Proctor, and I remember saying to someone, I feel like I've just woken up, and I've been living on autopilot for 29 years, and now I get to choose what I want to do with my life. And so for that first year I'm dating, I'm dipping my toes into the personal development space. I found my first love, which was Bob Proctor. Everything's looking really, really rosy, and I just listened on repeat, on repeat every single day for a year. And probably years after that, I listened to Bob Proctor's teachings, tapes, recordings, on repeat on my way to work, before work, on my way home from work, when I was cleaning the house, when I was doing the dishes, I was the living, breathing embodiment of a student, and that was when his words got so ingrained into my psyche that it really started to change me. And looking back, that's probably when there was the most change, because I started to embody these new teachings. And there's something in this. There's really something in finding one or two mentors and really becoming a student, really becoming a student, because it's almost impossible for their beliefs, perspectives, mindsets, concepts, not to sink so far into your subconscious that it becomes part of who you are. So then you've got phase two. Phase two of your relationship with the personal development industry, to me, is what we call the honeymoon period, or what I call the honeymoon period. And the honeymoon period, like any relationship, is where everything is rosy and where you are getting the most change. You are really starting to see, holy shit, I am actually going to do this, and you start doing it. So this is the honeymoon phase where you actually make the most change. It's kind of like the most reward for your input. Kind of comes in this beginning phase, because you start to notice all. Your beliefs were actually just limiting beliefs, and you can do more. And you start getting in circles, maybe, or hiring people, or listening to people that make you believe it's possible. So then you start taking action, and because you take action, you're quickly rewarded, and so much changes quite fast. So for me and my honeymoon period, it was like I literally quit my job, started a business. Within six months, I was serving clients, living in a van, going up north, traveling with my partner, and that was the dream for me. I always was like, I just want to be able to travel and work and do something that I love in a really creative way, but with a lot of freedom. So because you have this new fresh perspective. You're busting through all your limiting beliefs. You're proving your old paradigm wrong. You're doing new things. You're taking action. Everything's actually really fucking rosy, like a honeymoon period of a relationship, but like a honeymoon period of a relationship, you often have your rose tinted glasses on right eventually, when you've been with someone long enough, you start to go, Ah, I didn't realize that you did that. I didn't realize that you fart in your sleep. I didn't realize that you leave wet towels on the floor. I didn't realize whatever it is, right? So it's like cracks start to appear. Now you have entered phase three of the dating world, or phase three of your relationship with the personal development industry, and that is where cracks start to appear, shadows start to present themselves. The rose colored glasses maybe come off. And what I found with stage three of the relationship in the personal development industry is that as we get more entrenched into the world, whether it's the coaching world, the personal development world, the business world, you start to get sold to everywhere because your algorithm has changed, because your mind has changed, because your feed has changed, because what you consume has changed, because your persona has changed, and you're more available to seeing things a different way, learning new things. You're always, always, always getting sold to. And that's okay. That's fine, but there does become a season where you start to notice that the way for people to sell to you is to sell you a problem so that they can then fix it. And it's very alluring. It's so alluring. And people always this industry wins out of solving your problems and helping you to see the problems that you have so that they can fix it for you. And in some regards, that's amazing. Like I always think, Thank fuck Bob Proctor highlighted problems I had so that he could change my life. It changed my life. And I know some of the courses that I've taught has changed clients lives. But when you're entrenched in an industry that constantly feeds something that's broken people and people start spending a lot of money, things start to change, or people start to potentially, things start to happen where eventually, inevitably, someone in the industry is doing the dodgy thing, and you kind of get burnt. And I have definitely had my experience where I have felt like I got burnt, not to say that I don't take responsibility for my part, not to say that there wasn't incredible lessons that I learned, but I definitely fell into, I'd say, in my second and third year of business, there were a lot of coaches who their whole positioning and messaging, especially in this business coaching space, was around, you need to invest big to make big, and if you're not investing big, that's why you're not making big and you need to be in my private, close proximity spaces. And it was like this real like it was sold as something that, like there is this magic thing inside, and the universe is going to open to you as soon as you pay all this money. And don't get me wrong, there is some truth to some of that stuff, but I remember joining a coaching program. It was 45 grand, I think 45 grand or something for like six months, and I just remember thinking, Whoa, okay, I learned a lot here. I really learned a lot, not necessarily about business. I learned that actually I already knew a lot, and I didn't need to spend 45 grand to really, I didn't need to, but I'd been sold this thing that, like you need to invest big money to make a leap and to be a match for big money. And look, there is some truth to that. Am I glad that I have gotten really comfortable at investing big figures? Yeah, because I can now invest five figures in Bitcoin on a random Tuesday, and it doesn't dysregulate me. So there has been benefits. And this is not about like ragging, this is not about anything, but there are times in this season where you're like, oh, okay, I'm going to be a lot more discerning about where I spend my money, because you get the lesson that actually. No one can save you or do anything for you or fix you or teach you some magical potion or some magical strategy. And that's actually a beautiful lesson, but it does have this element of like, oh, okay, that felt like an expensive lesson to learn, and I've definitely learned that, and I've definitely felt burnt in a few different business relationships and business transactions where I've learned the lesson that I needed to learn, but walked away going, Okay, I'm going to be a lot more discerning, and I can see how some people would go, What a fucking rort that industry is fucked. So the other thing that I noticed in this season where cracks start to appear is that, because you're watching personal development and growth and success and productivity and like winners, winners, winners, winners, growth, growth, growth, success, success, success, you're watching it everywhere, and then all of a sudden you might be following lots of people that talk a lot about how much money they make, and 50k Months, 100k months, 200k months, 300k months, million dollar month. Dollar months, and you're like, holy shit, because it started off as the world is your oyster. I get to have that. If they get to have that, I get to have that. And that's still true. So that's amazing, but all of a sudden, it's like your psyche slowly starts to see all these things that people have. They've got the freedom, they've got the luxury, they've got the money, they've got this, they've got that. And all of a sudden you start to actually dip back into scarcity without even realizing it. Now you're looking at them going, well, I don't have that. Now you're looking at them going, well, I don't have enough, and they've got the solution for you. They can help fix it so you give them more money. And I have definitely had a small season of that. I was actually pretty quick to pull myself up on it, so it wasn't a long season, but I definitely remember going, fucking hell, Breanna, where's your gratitude gone? Like you have all the things that you once dreamt of, and now it's not enough. Like now you're almost like, you know, because I was in that space was like, oh my god, I did an 80k month, and then one month, I just about did a 90k month, and it's like, this hamster wheel. And then when you do a 20 or 30k month, it's like, Oh, is that all? And I remember Paul being like, you fucking boss. Bitches have lost touch. And it was actually such a nice reflection. And there's again, like, the world is your oyster. You get to have anything. But there was a moment in time where I was like, hold on. I didn't actually know. I didn't necessarily want that like I wanted freedom. I wanted to be able to choose my own days. I wanted to be able to spend as long as I wanted in the gym in the mornings and not rush off. I wanted to spend my husband's days off with him. I wanted to not cry and leave my kids at daycare, because I had to return to work. I actually created all that. And then I would find that there was definitely moments where I was like, more more, more. And it was like, it definitely did put me back into a bit of lack, because all of a sudden you're comparing yourself to the more and to the people who have achieved, and you're in this echo chamber of it gets to be more, you get to have more, and it's like it flicks you out of gratitude, and that's just actually again, that it starts to become a bit toxic, because you're no longer in that space and energy of possibility and gratitude and just so much appreciation for where you're currently at. And like I said, I definitely had my experience there too. So in this season, again, something to reflect on is like you kind of are now in the nothing's ever enough, and because nothing's ever enough, and you're in an industry where everyone can solve something for you and start to tell you it's because you haven't done this, it's because you haven't done that. It's because of this wound. It's because of your sacral, it's because of your subconscious, it's because of this inner child, it's because of your spine. It's because of and it's like, okay, so now nothing's ever good enough, and you want more, and what you have isn't enough. You're in scarcity, and someone's got the solution to sell something to you. So once again, you're in this rabbit hole of like, fix me, fix me, fix me, right? So all of a sudden, it's like this codependent relationship where you're actually starting to give your power to your person, right? This is where cracks appear in any toxic relationship. All of a sudden, they are the owner of you. All of a sudden they tell you what's wrong with you, and you believe them. All of a sudden, they give you permission to do certain things, and you give your power to them. That's the first sign of a toxic relationship. And there is this dynamic sometimes in coaching spaces, in coaching containers, in the personal development industry, and stage four, which I see a lot of people get stuck in is the toxic relationship you are now in a toxic relationship. And the toxic part of this phase of the personal development journey is that it can be a few things. One, you believe that everybody else out there has the answer. And can fix you so you start giving all of your power away, you start investing all your money and you stop trusting your own inner authority. You stop trusting your own inner guidance. You stop trusting your own values. You don't actually know who you are anymore, and you don't know who you want to be. Because, yes, on some level, you know you can be anyone, but also there's someone telling you that every part of you is wrong, or that there's a shadow, or there's a womb that needs to be healed, or there's an attachment problem there. And so you start going a bit loopy, and you actually don't see yourself as powerful anymore. And then the other part to this stage of the toxic relationship with the personal development industry is that you've been doing it now for so long that you actually believe you're healed, and because you believe that you're so healed and you're so conscious and you're so woke and you're so love and light, you then believe that you're better or superior to other people. You're above this, and with this, you believe you can see everyone else's problems, so you become the judge and jury and the executioner of other people. I can call their shadows. I can tell you what their blocks are. I can see what he does wrong. I can see what she does. I'm healed. They're not. I'm above this. They're not. Oh my god, that's so juvenile. Oh my god, that's so day one. I'm so above that. I don't need to do that anymore. And what that actually is, is you've become the toxic one. You've become the one who is now in their ego, is now in superiority, and you're about to be the one that becomes humbled, essentially. But again, so this is the stage four, where it's like things have turned toxic, right? Because you're either giving your power away, because you believe you're broken and everybody else can fix you. So you invest all your money, you give all your power away, or you believe that you're so superior now that you don't actually need it, you're above it. And you can tell everyone tell and this is such a red flag, by the way, if you ever work with someone and they tell you, not invite you to reflect, not point out something that they've maybe noticed, but tell you, this is what it is. This is what's happening. This is what you're doing in a coaching space. That, to me, can be quite a red flag, right? Obviously, there's discernment. If you've hired a business coach and they tell you, Look, your marketing isn't working, this is what I see how this is how I change. It very different to like a life coach or something like that. But the red flag is someone who thinks that they're so woke, so healed, that they are the Guru, the healer, the Savior. Big fat red flag, right? So what happens in this phase is that because you've spent so long analyzing your behaviors, analyzing other people's behaviors, looking for the shadow, looking for the block, wondering where did that come from, and why am I like that? And Whose voice is that in my head, you've actually become really, really, really intellectual. And now, rather than living life, you're thinking about life. Rather than feeling feelings, you're thinking about feelings. And so you actually become not as present. You can become egoic, and you can also become a broken little bird who needs someone to save them. And it's ironic that this is the stage four, which usually happens after someone's been doing personal development for quite a while, so you've been doing it for quite a lot of time, but then it's like, well, it's actually not returning a lot of benefit, because it's either resulted in victim complex, ego complex, or being in your superiority complex, right? So once this happens, you enter stage five, you realize that things have gotten a bit toxic. Hopefully, you realize that, oh, this actually isn't right. This isn't good. I'm always focusing on what I don't have. I'm giving all my money away for people to fix me. I feel like I'm more superior, or I've become blind to myself again, or I can't actually live life anymore because I'm so hell bent on more, more, more and chasing, chasing, chasing, and it's never enough. It's never enough. It's never enough. And I'm always in my head. Eventually this all becomes too much, and so there is a breakup season, and that is stage five. Stage five of the toxic relationship with the personal development industry is that stage five is the breakup, and the breakup is honestly where I've probably been at for the last while. Actually, I'd probably in five and six. There was a time in the last probably two years I reckon I was like, Oh, I'm actually going to take a step back. I'm breaking up with the personal development industry. Because it started to sound like same shit just spun in different ways. It started to sound like everyone was saying the same thing, because they are, let's be real. Like most of it is ancient, ancient wisdom and regurgitated philosophies. And you know, that's okay, but it does start to once you've had the mind blowing experience of. This is all new. And then you've been in it again and again and again for years and years and years like, this isn't new. This is actually really old and really repetitive. It starts to feel really boring, and so you kind of get bored of it. And in stage five after the breakup, you distance yourself a lot. And honestly, in the last I reckon, two years, I barely listen to podcasts, if any. They're funny ones. Like, I listen to, well, Australian birth stories, and I listen to one other one, but that's it. I'm like, Nah, I'm gonna listen to music. I don't need more personal development. Like, it's literally my job. I just don't really want to hear it. And I start changing my feed, and I don't listen to the podcasts, and I don't even want to read the books, because I want to read fiction. And that's kind of like the breakup phase. That's the breakup season. And so, yeah, in this season, post breakup, you kind of go, I don't actually need another course. I just need to do the work. I don't actually need to hear it. I just need to implement it. I don't actually need to strive. Strive, strive. I need to be present. I need to have joy. I'm going to bring joy back. I'm going to bring lightness back. I'm going to bring levity back. I'm just going to bring back humaning. And that's the post breakup phase. There is a beautiful season that follows Phase Five, which is phase six, which I've noticed, and this is freedom and integration. It's like you're free after a toxic relationship, and you realize you were never broken. You realize that you can have people to support you, but they're never actually going to save you. You realize that you're never actually going to be healed and fully conscious, because you'll always have shadows. And therefore, you realize that this is a lifelong skill and something that you do when it comes up, knowing that you've got the tools, you've learned the tools, you've got the tools. So you actually can just go about life integrating now, and yes, you'll pop back in when things come up like, you know, there's been seasons, times in the last 612, months where it's like, I've got the tools. I know what to do when I've been triggered. I know what to do in confrontation. I know how to regulate myself. And in times where I can't, I will get support. I will dip into Kinesiology. I will dip into my own coach. I will dip into like, while I was doing my IVF treatment, I was also doing hypnotherapy, so I'll still do some work, but it's not my whole personality, because it's just, I'm just, that's what the difference is, as opposed to I do personal development. I read the books, I consume it, it's just kind of like who you are because you've integrated it, and now you just get to live as a conscious human. And that doesn't mean a healed human, that doesn't mean a superior human, that doesn't mean a perfect human, but it does mean you're just someone who knows how to handle your triggers, who can regulate when you need to. You'll never do it perfectly, but it's always an ongoing thing, and so you realize that now you're just a conscious human. It's not necessarily something you do consciously. It's just kind of who you are. You just reflect on your part to play in things. You just look at where you're giving away your power. You do things from a really empowered place, and that's when you can reintegrate the tools that you've learned, the coaches, the practices, in a really healthy way, because you realize that you were never fucking broken in the first place. And so you didn't need to outsource anything to be fixed. You might want support when you need it, but you don't need to be fixed because you're not a broken bird. And so the integration, or stage six is all about realizing you're now free. You've got these new tools that you can use when you want, but you're not giving your power away. And you're also not so deeply embedded in the like I'm so woke, I'm so above this, that you've become superior, right? And that is the season, the stages of a lot of people's relationship with personal development. And I've said to clients in the last six months, I don't want you to do a single one of my courses. I've said this, you've done my courses. The time is now to integrate. There's nothing more I can say to you. I don't want you to do my courses. And I've actually celebrated clients when a new offer has come out and they haven't done it, they've said no, and I'm like, thank the Lord. You don't need this. You need to do you just want to just go live, just go do it. Just go do the action. And that can be a win for people, but you can probably see how if you're a business owner that's operating from scarcity, you're not going to send clients away, because there's a benefit for you in taking clients that don't need the work, or taking clients who you know don't really suit it, or you know there is so much benefit, and that's what keeps the industry going. It's scarcity, and there is something to be said for coaches who understand what place. They're operating from when they're operating from scarcity. And like it doesn't, it doesn't serve my business right now to basically be saying one of the best things you can do in some instances is to actually fuck off all the coaches and the coaching and the courses. If you're not integrating it, stop doing it. Stop giving your power away. It doesn't serve me to say that, but I'm also not in scarcity. I also believe that my clients will come when they want to come, and they'll probably I will attract more empowered clients who don't expect me to save them or put them on a pedestal, because that's not where I operate from. I'm no one's savior. I'm no one's guru. I'm not above anyone. I'm not high and mighty and fixed and healed. And I think when we operate from that place that we are. We actually have so much leaky shit that happens, and that's why I believe it's so important that we actually do this healthy integration work. Because there's so much weird shit that happens in businesses where it's operating from scarcity and clients don't actually become empowered again. It just is toxic. So it's this huge journey, and it has lots of seasons, and it has lots of phases, and it has lots of dynamics. But like I said, I just noticed that sometimes it can be you. The personal development industry can have its real dark shadows, and if you're not conscious that you're in a dependent relationship with it, that you've started to over consume, that you're not really living, that you're not really present, that you're now actually in lack, that you now think that you're more evolved than someone, then this tool hasn't been used in the best way. This tool is now a weapon, and this isn't helping. So I'd love for you to reflect on what season are you in. I'd love for you to reflect on your relationship. Which season of the relationship are you in? Are you in the honeymoon phase, which is the best, by the way. Like, like I said, I look back and I'm like, far out. In that first one or two years, I made so many changes. My world was being broken down and torn apart in the best possible way. The world was an oyster. Everything was full of possibilities. And then for me, I actually dipped back into lack it was like, Well, now that I can have everything. This isn't enough, and that's not cool. And then it was like, the more conscious work you do, the more self reflection work you do. For me, I had to learn to just be present and have fun and to actually fuck off all this shit and go back to just being who I am. Because here's the other thing, and this is just my own personal experience. Yes, I'm someone who does personal development. Yes, I'm someone who would consider myself a very conscious person. Yes, I would consider myself someone who, you know, I teach emotional intelligence. I have a lot of tools. I can be very self reflective. I like to be a conscious human where I can I'm not perfect, and I'm also a fucking idiot. I'm also a bit of a hooligan. I still like to make politically incorrect jokes. I still like to be hanging out with my friends being absolutely unconscious, like, absolutely feral, absolutely unhinged, and I don't like that. Some people have become so serious in their personal development and in their consciousness that they've lost humor, and they've become easy. They're like, they're like the police that go around policing consciousness and wokeness, and it actually just gives me the shits. And that's another reason why I was like, I'm fucking done with this space. Like people are afraid of words now, because everyone's woke, everyone's conscious. I remember someone said something to me once in my DMs, like, I don't know I'd used, I used a word that was offensive, and I can't even remember what it was. It wasn't actually, you know, and I just remember thinking, Oh, is this where this space is taking us? Like we're afraid no one can say anything now. And that's been my whole like, there's been so many different relationship dynamics that have played out for me in this space, and now I'm in such a good season with it where, like I said, I use it when I need to, but it's not my whole personality. I can still have fun. I can still be absolutely feral and not make it mean anything. I can be imperfect and it doesn't mean anything, because it's never about being perfect. It's never about being completely healed. It's never about being higher than mighty. And if that's what this industry has become for you, it's time to take a break. And if you're looking for a place to bring the human back into the personal development and success and fucking strive. And don't get me wrong, we want to strive, we want to thrive, we want to be successful, but also let's be fucking fun, like bring back fun and lightness and light heartedness. It doesn't need to be so fucking serious. So yeah, that's where I'm at with my season and my relationship to the personal development industry. And like I said, No, industry is perfect. I love it. I love this. I will always stick by it. I love my relationships with my clients. I love the spaces I'm in, and also I love that the biggest takeaway from people who finish the mind school method, which is my six day certification, which really teaches emotional intelligence and consciousness and shadow work and all of this in a human, practical way. My favorite thing about the feed. Back I get is like, Holy fucking shit. I don't actually think I need any more courses, because the main takeaway is you're not fucking broken. Like, don't come here to be fixed. You're not broken, right? And if you have a business, or a coaching business specifically, or you're just a parent, or you're a leader in some regards, and you are operating from these unconscious things of I'm broken, I'm not empowered, I'm a victim. I need to save people. I need to fix people. Let me tell you, you are operating from very cooked, very ungrounded, very unhealthy dynamics that won't have sustainability and that is not good for your business. It's not good for your relationships, it's not good for anything. So I am actually going to be running the mind school method one final time until, I don't know when, because I'm going to have a baby next year. So I don't know if I'm going to want to do a full six days with a breastfeeding baby if I get to breastfeed. And so this is the last time I'm running it for 2025 and I don't know how long. We already have quite a few spots sold. We are currently running an application for scholarship. The first time ever, I was just feeling super abundant. Maybe it's this baby, maybe it's just, I feel fucking amazing at the moment, second trimester things, but I was feeling super abundant, and I said to my team, I'm gonna do a scholarship, and I'm going to give 50% off tuition to someone in need and someone who is really going to use this. It could be that you're a coach, it could be that you're a leader, it could be that you're a mother. It could be that you're wanting to change your life and do it in a way that's not fully like woke. You know, if you're getting a bit of an eye roll from the woke industry, then the mind school method is probably the place to come. So link is in the show notes for that. I'm going to record my first trimester wrap up as a separate podcast for the pregnancy diaries soon. So if you want to keep your eye out on that, that'll be out very soon, first Friday of every month. So that'll come out the first Friday of September, and that is all for me today. I'd love to hear from you. Did this resonate? Did this land? Have you had your own experience with a toxic relationship with the personal development industry? Where are you at now? Share this, tag me, and I will be back next week. Thank you for tuning in to the mind school podcast. It is a massive intention of mine to continue to grow this show, because the more the show grows, the better the guests get, and I know that is going to be so powerful for you listening. So if I could ask this massive favor, it would mean the world if you could please leave a review, hit the Follow button, or leave a rating on Spotify so that we can continue to grow this show and bring you the juiciest, most thought provoking and expansive conversations through incredible guests. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you next week. You.