THIS is How you Make Imposter Syndrome Disappear (Shadow Work...Listen if You Dare)

In this episode, I unpack imposter syndrome through the lens of shadow work, which is very different to the usual self-help advice about “just reframe your beliefs.”

If you’ve ever:

• Felt like a fraud (even when you know what you’re doing)
• Worried about being “found out”
• Held yourself back because you didn’t feel ready or good enough

…then this episode is going to hit home.

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Transcript

Breanna Hunter: 0:00

Welcome back to the mind school podcast. I am settling in with my coffee, and I was about to say I'm nice and comfy, but that would be a lie. I'm not really comfy much these days. Being five months pregnant, I actually feel very uncomfortable. But I'm settling in with my cuppa and Simba here, and before I dive into today's episode, which is all about imposter syndrome, but we're going to unpack imposter syndrome from a shadow work lens, which is very, very, very different to the typical self help mindset, limiting belief imposter syndrome perspective, this is going to be for you. If you're someone who knows that you get in your way because of imposter syndrome, if you're someone who feels like, oh my god, this is going to be embarrassing when they find out that I don't know what I'm doing, or if you feel like a fraud, or if you feel like you're not good enough yet to do the thing, or there's something stopping you back that you've labeled as imposter syndrome. This episode is for you. Before I dive into that, I wanted to just share that the mind school method is actually already half sold out, and this is my absolute transformative creme de la creme, best program I've ever put together in my life. It feels like it is my life's work, and it is for you, if you are a coach, an aspiring coach, a business owner, a leader, and that can mean a parent if you lead other people or want to influence other people and yourself, the mind school method is a six day immersion where you will learn NLP, you'll learn shadow work. You'll learn emotional embodiment, and ultimately, you will become someone who knows how to change your own behavior so that you can become a leader and therefore influence and impact other people through behavior change. So that is open right now. And we are doing the last ever round at the end of November, November 23 till 28th in Perth, Western Australia. Like I said, we have, I think we actually only have eight spots left, so beyond halfway full, and it is the last time I'm going to be running it in its current form as a six day in person, simply because next year, I will be at home breastfeeding, and I don't think I'm going to have the capacity to do six full on days, because they are full on. They're transformative. They will change your fucking life. And truly, like, the transformations are beyond what I ever expected. Like, yes, I expected transformation. But the things that have happened in terms of money, created promotions, being head hunter. These are for the corporate women. Those who have their own businesses have scaled their teams. We've had two people that have got to seven figures. We've got coaches that have started their businesses, started running group programs. There's so much in it that is going to give you everything that you came for, plus so much more. We've had babies come out of it. We've had relationships, marriages saved like it's just the best. So anyway, that is all in the show notes. Let's get into today's episode, which is about imposter syndrome. I have heard this word so much in my business, and honestly, I think it's really overused. I think it is sometimes

Unknown: 3:00

just a throwaway word that people will say,

Breanna Hunter: 3:04

and they basically mean I'm doubting myself, but I always bring a bit of a different perspective, because I've done shadow work and I teach from a shadow work lens. So let's unpack imposter syndrome first. Like, what is it? What is it that people mean when they say I'm I've got imposter syndrome. Usually, what it means is that you have a fear that people are going to find something out, like, what if my audience realizes that I actually do this behind the scenes? Or, holy shit, I'd be so embarrassed if my clients knew that actually behind the scenes, I freak out and worry and panic and doubt myself all the time, or what if they realize I'm not as good as I say I am. Or it's this sense of what if they find this thing out? And it can be a sense of like I don't feel good enough yet. I don't feel like I'm expert enough yet. And you'll see patterns where people will always be studying, always be finding new information, always be learning, but never actually executing, because they feel like they're never enough and they're never going to know enough, and they're never going to be good enough. So to get trapped in this place of when I know more, the imposter syndrome will go and then I'll actually do the thing, and it's a trap, and it's a lie. And if you come to a mindset coach and you say, I'm struggling with imposter syndrome, hopefully that person would say, tell me more about it. Like, what does that actually mean to you? Let's dive and dig a little bit deeper. What specifically is it that you're worried people will find out or that you don't know nine times out of 10, from that perspective, it'll then be sort of like, oh, well, that's a limiting belief. Let's unpack that limiting belief. Where did it come from? Who told you you don't know enough? And while, yes, that is fucking amazing, and that can be amazing at uncovering sometimes the root cause that mindset and sort of NLP approach to imposter syndrome. Rome in my in my opinion, sometimes isn't necessarily the right angle. And this is why I am so proud of the mind school method, actually, because we do mindset and NLP, which gives the tools to do this kind of unpacking the origin where it's come from, seeing if it is a limiting belief, but also the opposite side or modality to explore is Shadow Work, which is actually, well, let's sit in the gnarly fucking truth. Let's sit in the gnarly truth before we go and go, Oh, that's a limiting belief. You're amazing. You're so good, you can do this and we blow smoke up our own asses. Let's unpack this from the lens of complete, radical responsibility suppression and what you might be hiding, because shadow work comes from the lens of we have so many elements and parts of our personality that in some way, shape or form, we've become ashamed of, embarrassed of, we've created a persona or constructed a brand to try to hide these things about us, and so imposter syndrome comes out when the thing that we're trying to hide is at risk of being exposed. So let me put this into an actual concrete example. If I have the identity and the brand and the persona of a mindset coach. This was me. This was something I've definitely experienced. So I'll put my hand up and say, like, Fuck, I have been there, and it wasn't mindset, NLP, that actually shifted things for me. It was shadow work. So when I first started my business, I was Miss mindset. That was actually my brand name. I was the mindset coach. Excuse me, I'm going to just have a quick sip of my coffee, because I don't know if I have like, pregnancy insomnia. I don't think so. But the last two nights, I've woke up at like 1230 just wide awake, which is so unlike me. I usually sleep so well, like I'm that person that tracks my sleep and takes it like such a it's like the little moment of like validation in my morning when I've got a good sleep score. I'm always saying, How can anyway, I think I might have a little bit of that. So coffee today, anyway. So when I started my business, I was Miss mindset, and my whole business was around like, you can do anything, you can be anything, you can have anything. And I believe that. Of course, I truly believe that. But it also brought with it this cons not a construction, because there is so much truth. Like, I am a very optimistic person. I'm very glass half full. I see the world through the lens of like, why not like, why can't you do it? And that is me, however, when you then build an whole identity and a whole brand around this persona. What can happen is you can become blind or hold shame where you are sometimes not those things and that can feel heavy to then show up. So how this plays out, or how this played out for me, I've shared this to clients in the past. A few years ago, I started to really, like, go into the infertility. I hate that word. I don't even use that word. But for context sake, I was in the land of doctors telling me I was infertile, blah, blah, blah. Things were starting to feel, after a while, like this was a long process. Two years in, I started to feel like I'm not miss mindset. I'm not miss fucking optimistic. I don't want to hear, I don't want to hear a positive thing right now. And there were days where I was like, I'm actually just really down, and I'm actually just full of self doubt, and I'm actually just full of like, Can I do this? And there was days not it was still, I would say, for me, and my husband's even reflected this back to me, like he's like you actually did navigate that whole thing like a boss, like there was only a few days where I'd really let it get to me, but on those days, you can see how, if I've got a business that is all around this persona of optimistic, you can do it. There's nothing that you can't do. Like use your words to impact your subconscious. See it, believe it, feel it like I was that person and am that person. But on the days that I was struggling, it would feel harder to show up, or like a little bit, if I'm honest, there was sometimes a bit of shame around weakness, what I perceived as weakness. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to show that I was struggling. I didn't want to be perceived in that way, because it would feel disingenuous to who I've shown online, which is still true. It's all me. But there was a story that like, if I am Miss mindset, or I'm this optimistic person, am I then out of integrity when I show up and I'm like, not that for a moment. And so in this exact scenario, and I invite you to think about how this might actually be working for you, how this might be playing out for you, I had to actually, actually integrate, and this is what shadow work does. I had to integrate the parts of me that I was holding a little bit. Shame or ickiness around and what that meant for me was, like, I had to own online on my socials. I remember the first time I recorded a podcast and I just hit record and said, I'm in a bad place. I'm not. I'm actually struggling. I don't know if it's going to happen. Oh, that's so crazy. Sorry. It's just so weird to, like, be sitting here, like, five months pregnant, and I'm like, fuck it. It happened. But I yeah, I just remember that moment when I recorded that podcast, and I was like, I don't want to be positive right now. Like I am sick of being told it'll happen. When is it going to happen? And that felt a little bit edgy. It felt vulnerable. But at the same time, what it did was released and dissolved any imposter syndrome, because I wasn't hiding anything. I wasn't putting on, excuse me, I wasn't putting on a mask. I didn't feel like I had to show up as this one version of me. And what shadow work does is it goes, Okay, so what is the thing that you're afraid of people seeing? And it might be, I'm afraid of them seeing my emotions. I'm afraid of them seeing this happens all the time in coaching businesses. As an example, if you're a business coach and you are struggling behind the scenes and you're not making money, that brings up a lot of imposter syndrome. If you are a love and light coach, and behind the scenes, you're really full of jealousy and you're nasty and you're bitching, and all of your relationships are built off a common enemy, then of course, you're going to feel imposter syndrome. If you're a conscious parenting coach and you're flipping off, like flipping the handle all the time at your kids and snapping and grumbling and saying things you regret. Of course, you're going to feel imposter syndrome. So on one level, what Shadow Work calls you to do is to be more fucking in integrity. And this is a good thing. And this is not to say, I want to make this very clear, especially if it's playing out in your business or in a coaching perspective. This is not to say that you must be perfect. It is not to say that you must be perfect all the time, because there is a truth to the fact that if you are running a business off, you know, a promise or a persona or a construction, and you feel imposter syndrome all the time, because behind the scenes, you're actually not that at all. That is actually a problem. Like you shouldn't be. You really shouldn't be running a business, promoting, selling, teaching a certain thing where you are not fully embodied in the thing that you teach. So there is that truth. However, don't I don't want that to be taken so far to the point where it's like you have one bad day and it's still going to be the exception to the rule. Like I was saying before, I still am a very optimistic person. I still, like, have a very resilient mind. I still am the mindset coach in and outside of my business, my I love it, like, I fucking love it. I've been using pregnancy in my own spare private time as, like, all this mindset work. I'm going to the gym. I'm pushing myself more like it's who I am. It's not a it's not a construction that I have to like fake. But that doesn't mean that you can't have a few bad days and then you make it wrong. You make it mean you're out of integrity. You make it mean you can't show up. You make it mean that you're a fraud. You make it mean that you've got to stop and be perfect before you show up again. That's what leads people to ghosting their business. That's what lead leads people to thinking imposter syndrome. I've gotta stop until I'm perfect. I've gotta learn more. I've gotta be more perfect. I can't show up. And the antidote is truth. The antidote is, how can you be more honest? How can you own the thing that you are afraid of people seeing before it owns you, because that's what integrating a shadow is. It's dissolving it from the shadow, putting it into the light, and letting people see it, and letting yourself claim it so that it's no longer something you try to hide, which then starts to feel heavy. It takes a lot of energy to hide parts of ourselves, to shape shift to who we need to be at a given time. The more you can just be yourself in your business, in your life, the less heavy it's going to feel, the less you're going to feel imposter syndrome, or like you're a fraud. So when I started like I said, I shared on my podcast, I was struggling. I told my clients I'd start. I'd say things to my clients like, you know, if I jumped on a coaching call, it wasn't like, I'm amazing, how are you? I just thought, oh, you know, it's been a bit hard. I've had a bit of a rough week with IVF, and I just took the bloody band aid off, and it was like that, in itself, did so much to dissolve any imposter syndrome. It wasn't imposter syndrome. It was a call to more authenticity, and that's often what it is. So there's a few things to think about, and there's a few things I want to leave you with. I want to leave you with. What is the thing that you're afraid of? People seeing, knowing, discovering, finding out. I. Can you own it? Can you speak into it? Can you put a post about it? Can you meet your edge and be a bit more honest about it? It doesn't always mean you're going to have to air out your dirty laundry. It's not always the time and place and space for that. But can you just notice this is the thing that I'm shaming, hiding, trying to repress, trying for people not to see. Okay, there might be some work to do there. If the answer is, I'm actually out of integrity in a really big way, maybe it's time to pause. Maybe it is actually time to pause. It's not time to unpack limiting beliefs, because it might not be a limiting belief, for example. And this is not to like, this is not to call out or shame anyone, but in the coaching industry, and I've seen it many, many times, I know of people who build businesses and teach on something that they've never mastered themselves. You know business coaches who had 110 k month once, maybe 120, K month once, and decided to coach business, and then they feel imposter syndrome all the time, because it was actually something that they just did once. It wasn't a fully embodied thing. That is actually a pause to fucking have some integrity, and not just because, not to shame. To make your business feel easy again, to make your offers feel like, of course, I can help someone like, I didn't start business coaching. This is an actual fact. I didn't start taking on business coaching clients until I had consistently. And when I say consistently, I mean 24 months, 24 months in a row. I had never, ever, ever, ever, ever had less than a $20,000 month ever. And then I was like, You know what? I'm pretty and that's working part time. Let me add so if and then it was only then that I was like, you know, I can teach this. I can do this with my eyes closed. There's no imposter syndrome. There. Would I feel imposter syndrome if I started saying to people, I can help you make six figure months. Of course, I fucking would. I've never done it. I did a 90 or$86,000 month once, once. And I've never made that my claim, because it would feel very ungrounded, very disembodied, very out of integrity. So there's a few pieces here. One, can you just look at the thing that you're afraid of. People discovering, finding out, seeing and go, You know what? I might have a couple bad days, but that doesn't take away from the embodiment that I am most of the time. So just speak into it. If that's the case, just speak into it. If you are, like I said, a gentle parenting coach, and once every blue moon, if you lose your shit and then you feel shamed about it. You can't show up, just speak into it, write a post about it, say like and teach from that place. What did you do? How did you repair it? What did you learn from it? What tools and resources did you use from your toolkit? That is actually what makes you a leader. So there's a piece in this, which is about leadership. If you can own your fuck ups in vulnerable places. If you can speak into vulnerability, you're actually going to be more of a leader, but a flaky, ungrounded leader who is going to be filled with imposter syndrome will be someone who is completely out of integrity. Hasn't ever really embodied the thing that they've created a business and a persona around. And this happens because their shadow is so strong they want to be perceived a certain way that they will literally construct something that is not even true. And let me add, these people won't know they're doing it. They're not doing it intentionally, but they've got so much of their own shame. For example, there's a lot of confidence coaches who are actually they want to be confident. They want to be perceived as confident. They truly want to be seen this way, because they've got so much shame and embarrassment around maybe how they're not and how insecure they are. They build a whole business around being a confidence coach, but it's sometimes built around complete shadow. And so this is a really big conversation, and I think hopefully this gives you a lot to sort of chew on, to marinate, and there's two things to really think about. What is the thing that I am making wrong when actually it's just me being human and it hasn't taken away from the complete integrity that I still have the majority of the time. Or where do I need to realign things and actually come from a place of complete embodiment and integrity, and where could I reevaluate things if I'm actually just not showing up in complete honesty, right? So, like I said, there's so many ways to handle and this is for those of you who are coaching or or coaches, or even if you just apply this to your own life, there are different ways to come at and different lenses to apply to your behaviors. One, if you go to, it's kind of like when you're choosing a doctor, right? If you go to, if you go to a heart specialist, they're going to give you the answer about your heart if you go to a hormone specialist, they're going to look at your hormones and tell you it's a hormone problem. If you go to a PT, they're going to tell. You that it's a macros problem, like the lens with which people look at will will start to diagnose. When you go to someone who has a more their toolkit is more broad, you're more likely to get to the actual route. Because Can you imagine if you came to a coach and said, Oh, I'm scared that people are gonna I'm scared I'm not good enough. And they spent two sessions going over this limiting belief that you're not good enough, but the actual truth was you don't yet have the skill. You actually don't. So what a waste of time to spend all this time uncovering and unpacking this limiting belief that actually was not a limiting belief. It was a truth. I've had my one of my best friends actually had this come up, and she was like, I think it's imposter syndrome. I said, No, it's not. It's actually just that you need to practice the thing because you're new. You've never done it. This is the first this is literally your first few months in business. Of course, you're going to feel this because there's truth to it. You don't yet have the skills. Ask again in six months, and the bet the imposter syndrome is gone. So we don't need to waste time unpacking this limiting belief. We just need to look at the truth that's in front of us. That's why I love shadow work, and that's why I love combining shadow work with mindset work with NLP. So you know which avenue to take with yourself, with others, to create change for you, to create change for others. Honestly, I think I wrote a post about this recently. I was like, I don't think I'd be able to go to a coach again. That was NLP only if they hadn't also trained in shadow work, because so often we spend time fluffing ourselves up, gassing ourselves up, when we're not actually just facing the truth. So Shadow Work is a different perspective, and my invitation to leave you with is, how can you either be more honest with yourself? How can you own the thing that you're afraid of people owning, oh, sorry, people seeing. Because if you don't own it, it will own you. So how can you this is a call to more honesty and a call to more authenticity, which is always a good thing. And the more you're in your honesty, the more you're in your authenticity, you are going to be more magnetic. You are going to get more clients. You are going to have that energy of fuck, that is truth that feels embodied, and you can't fake that. You can't fake complete embodiment. It's just felt. It's just a feeling of like, fuck that chick is like, there's something about her. So the end result of complete honesty, Shadow Work and complete embodiment is that your business, your leadership, will actually expand. It will only get better. You may need to re pivot, you may need to realign. You may need to share some edgy posts or just share something a little bit more truthful, but the end result will always be imposter syndrome will dissolve. People will start actually wanting to be led by you, because you're showing up like a vulnerable leader, and you won't feel this doubt anymore. So I hope that really helps. Like I said, the mind school method is the only certification where you can learn both mindset and NLP, Shadow Work, and then know how to combine them, how to adapt which tool to use in different places. It's the fucking best. So if you were interested in joining, the link is in the show notes. Would absolutely love to have you. I'm gonna be like, seven months No, I'm not. I'm gonna be like, I don't know, six months pregnant. By then, it's gonna be a vibe. Paul was like, get a photographer. Make sure you get a photographer, because it'll be so nice to document, like, this final one with, like, your big belly and stuff. So that's gonna be amazing. We've actually got another pregnant lady coming. She is alleged. We've got such a good group so far, like, I'm fucking pumped. So yeah, have a look in the show notes if you are tempted to fly from somewhere, if you're not Western Australia, and you're tempted to fly, DM, me. I have something for you to make it more accessible. So that's where I'm going to love and leave you. I will be back this Friday, if you were listening to this live on Wednesday, this Friday, I'll be dropping my pregnancy diaries, season, I mean, not season pregnancy diaries, episode two. So I'll be giving you the update of the last month of pregnancy. And it's so fun. So I'll be back on Friday. I will see you for the pregnancy diaries. And if that's not relevant or interesting to you, back here same time next week, thank you for tuning in to the mind school podcast. It is a massive intention of mine to continue to grow this show, because the more the show grows, the better the guests get. And I know that is going to be so powerful for you listening. So if I could ask this massive favor, it would mean the world if you could please leave a review, hit the Follow button, or leave a rating on Spotify, so that we can continue to grow this show and bring you the juiciest, most thought provoking and expansive conversations through incredible guests. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you next week. You.