Tony Robbins Event, Men Doing the Work, Dating in Your 30s & Sibling Roasts (Feat. My Brother)

Hey legend,

New episode just dropped and it’s one of my all-time favourites because 1) my little brother Trav absolutely roasts me, 2) he gives the most grounded male perspective on “personal development,” and 3) the convo will make your partner way more open to this world without you nagging or dragging.

Inside the episode:

• The honest male take on the “self-help” world and what actually got him on board (hint: not my TED Talks at family dinner, but results he could see and feel).
• Tony Robbins, state management, and the three levers that flipped Trav from stuck to action.
• Money mindset from a bloke’s lens: separating “wanting more” from “being greedy,” and how that shifted our whole family narrative.
• Dating in your 30s: the reality of apps, why organic connection feels rare, and what men are actually looking for beyond vibes.
• Why schools crush curiosity and what kids really need to learn to thrive in the real world (EQ over algebra).
• Rapid-fire sibling chaos: the dish-soaking debate, my driving, and the song that sums up Trav’s life.

Why you’ll love it:

• If you’ve wished your partner would “get” your growth journey, this is the episode to share. Trav speaks bloke. Zero fluff. Practical, science-backed, and deeply human.
• If you’re single, it’ll make you feel seen. If you’re partnered, it’ll help you connect better. If you’re a parent, you’ll walk away with fresh language for emotional intelligence at home.
• And yes, you’ll laugh. A lot.

If the episode lands, forward it to the person you love, the mate who thinks manifestation is “woo,” or your sister who needs a good belly laugh today.

Chaotic good,

B

As always, please don't forget to hit Subscribe! xxx

Transcript

Unknown: 0:00

Okay, welcome back to the mind school Podcast. I'm joined by my brother, and for those of you who are watching at home, we're cozy, but literally, before we hit record, Trav looked at me and was like, Ah, you're gonna wear that. And I thought I looked fucking great cozy as but yeah, I did get changed. I was wearing my hoodie, so it got changed, and I stayed feral Bogan, but the reason that I asked Trav to come on the podcast is, A, we thought it would be fun. B, we were a little bit bored at home. It's a rainy, stormy birthday. And C, I was having lots of conversations with clients, with people that have done all of my different courses, and so many women who have issues with trying to get their partner involved in personal development, trying to get their husbands into, I suppose, this self help world. I don't even like that language. But as someone who's done it with me and has come to Tony Robbins with me and is pretty like into this world. I thought it'd be really cool to chat to Trav, so I've asked him to come on the podcast and just give us the male perspective on this whole personal development slash girl boss world. I wouldn't say in the girl boss I would not say too far. He's, uh, he works on the mines. He's not in the girl boss world. But let's start before we actually get into that conversation. I wanted to start with a little. Trav doesn't know any of this is coming, by the way, I've got questions to get us started that has nothing to do with all the things I just said. Instead, this is like quick rapid fire. You've got to answer with the first thing that comes up. And you're allowed to be brutally honest. You know that, like, you can't upset me. Okay, so describe me as a teenager in three brutally honest words. Ah, shit, can't I probably was to you ignored Travis daily. This is so harsh. It's true though I actually, yeah, we've had chats about this because it's something that I actually feel so guilty about like we're so close these days, but when we were kids, I think I was just a fucking bitch, Breanna pretty much ignored me for the first 18 years of my existence, and then on my 8/8, birthday, told me, you you can drink now we can be buddies. Oh, my God, I did put on a good 18th for you. Though that's good. It was pretty good, yeah. And then we were friends after that. But yeah, I probably was, yeah, a bit of a bitch. I just wanted to be your friend, and you were just like, go away, annoying kid, too cool for school. But, you know, three years when you're a teenager is a long, like, a huge gap, and then when you're adults, it's nothing. Yeah, true. I'm sorry. I was probably just the annoying sibling that just wanted to hang out with you and your friends. I'm sorry. What's something you know about me that listeners definitely wouldn't she's a crier. I'd say you're a crier. Yeah? How so, like, just to terrible parts of a movie, like no one else will be crying, and you'll be sitting there balled up, and you're like, it's not that sad. Yeah? What's one secret you kept from Mum and Dad, and now that you're older, you would finally confess travel is a good idea. You actually didn't you tell dad when you did something like you wagged one day, and then you felt guilty and told Dad, no, we went to a party or something, something I can't remember. Oh, yeah, I would just ask, and they'd say yes, because I think they learned from you not to say no, because you would sneak out. So I just got it easy, because you just, like, broke all the barriers. You're a trailblazer, and I just come through and it was easy. It was great. So true. I don't think there's, I actually don't think there's anything that either of us have kept from Mum and Dad these days. No, they would know everything. Yeah, yeah, that's yeah, so funny. Who's the favorite child depends who you ask, as in, Mom or Dad. Yeah, what would you say? Mum would like me the best. Dad would like me the best as well. Yeah, I don't know. No, both close, close to them in different ways, but, like, yeah, probably your mom and me and dad are closer. Yeah, we've got similar interests. We've got so many personal jokes. Like, every single time Trav picks up the phone, he's like, Oh, hey dad. And I'm like, Oh, I haven't spoken to dad for like, a week or so, but they're just chatting football and betting, and I don't know what else like. And I guess, yeah, like you said, just different interests, yeah, but we're just talking about footy. I don't know, I suppose, like, yeah, you and Mom, just, what do you talk about? Just talk shit hours. I mean, that's what you and dad say. Like, you guys, just talk shit gets boring for you guys, true. Yeah. What's one thing I do that still drives you insane. Oh God, here we go, buckle up just like, just not doing the dishes. Like, as soon as you finish, like, yeah, making food. Like, that's that's ratchet. It is. They don't soak. They soak overnight. I do them in the morning. I don't want to have a fight on a podcast. Yeah, well, I do them in the morning. You ask for the one thing, and it's pretty ratchet, like you. As your housemate, I can't do my dishes because all your shit piled up. I think that, yeah, that's fair. I've heard that before. Actually, it's all good. I think it pisses Paul off too. Yeah, it does. What? This one actually worries me a bit. But what's one thing that deeply concerns you about me becoming a mum? Cool, that's hard, honestly, just the pregnancy, I get nervous, like, just about that, but nothing, really, maybe, oh, maybe, like, just, you're driving. I thought that was gonna be it, yeah, just like, and just common sense stuff. No, you got, you got sense, some common some not, but like, yeah, just driving. Hopefully they can walk to school or catch a bus. I'm not that actually. Breanna roast, yeah, so that was, that was fun. That's the introduction. Love that. Yeah. I want to start from the beginning, because, like I said in the in the intro, this is mostly women that, listen, yeah. And this is mostly women who have done a bit of personal development. I'm single. I swear this is actually not us, just like fishing for my new sister in law, but Travis single, and we're going to talk about, we actually are going to talk about at the end of this, like the reality of being single in your 30s, because I think that's something that I don't know. I feel like it's just more common, and a lot of people are finding that the dating game has changed. But before we get into that, I want to touch on, like, getting into personal development as a male. So I actually thought that you got into it, or that your introduction into it was when we went to Tony Robbins. But I think you said to me that it was before that. So share, like, what was your intro into personal development? What was your concept of it before you got into it? Did you think it was cringe? Did you think it was a bit rah, rah. Like, I do remember you saying at one point it was cringe. But like, Where were you at? Yeah, I probably just got into it because you did. But when you ask about like your listeners, getting their partners into it, the thing that comes to mind was like seeing how it changed you so like, it wasn't really like you telling me I'm doing personal development or telling me all the concepts that you like know now, it was more like seeing it like you. I'd rock up to see you, and it would be like, massive smile on your face, big hug, warm energy. And I mean, that's just like normal stuff, but I could see that something had changed. And I was like, what's going on? And then results would follow. Like, obviously you did well with business, and I felt like all your relationships were better. Like, all our friendship circles the same. All our friends were like, Breanna, is just a good vibe. Like, it just felt like you're a good vibe to be around. So I was always a good vibe, by the way. Yeah, you were always good, but you weren't like, yeah, just you could see the change in you. So that's what turned me on to it. I was like, oh shit. Like, there's probably some real stuff here. And, yeah, it was, I think, yeah, just seeing the change in you. And then I was like, what is it? And then I just started, like, YouTubing and researching myself. And then some things, like, are a bit too much Woo and a bit too much of that for me. But like anyone you just take what works for you, I guess, yeah, that thing, that's such a good point, and that's something I say to clients when it's becoming an issue, because so many women will say, like, I'm outgrowing my partner, or he won't have these conversations, or he's not supportive of me going to these events, or he's scared, sometimes he's scared that through the work, someone will change, you know, their partner will change so much, yeah, that it would create a little bit of, like, a rift. But I love what you said about like I never forced it onto anyone. I never said anything. I just let results speak. And I think hopefully, rather than forcing someone to get on board with something, with you just embodying the thing, what was your experience? So wait, hold on, let's go back before Tony Robbins, because I was getting into this world. Years before we went together, I was still a teacher. I think I was working with Bob Proctor, actually, when I started, what was your entrance? So you watched YouTube, Like, where did you go from there? I think it was honestly just watching YouTube videos of youtubers that were putting their experiences out there. Like, I can't even remember any of their names. I just watched heaps of videos that were talking about concepts. I watched a bit of Bob Proctor stuff, and it was really good, but it was almost too much for me, because it was talking about the law of attraction, manifestation. And, like, as a guy, it was kind of like, yeah, right. I want Crocker, you know, it the other thing that I reckon, like, sort of, like, made the cogs tick over for me, was like, learning that it's actually scientifically a law, like, it's not just the law of attraction. It's like the law, like the scientific law of attraction. And when, like, I started watching videos on that, I was like, holy, it's like when someone Yeah, it's like when someone describes Quantum. Physics, yeah, you don't get it, but, you know, it's science, you know, like, it's real, yeah? Smart guy said it be like, that's that's real, yeah? So, like, that was another thing that, like, ticked it over for me, where I was like, there's something to, like, rocking up and being in a good state and all that. So I was already, like, like, conditioning myself to learning about it, yeah? But then, like, on it, like Tony Robbins was just like, Oh, holy shit. Like, this is definitely a thing. You can't deny how good it felt after the three days. You just felt really good about where you were going, what you were doing. You felt clear, just like high in life. It was fucking cool before you did sort of get right into it. And even when you were watching me sort of change. I do remember there was conversations that we had because we have, like, we were raised in the same place by the same people, we've got the same programs, right? And I remember the most work I had to do was around money. Like, I had so much programming around money, and I'd always been the person who didn't need a lot of money, didn't talk a lot about money, like, didn't it just wasn't really in my realm. I was happy being a teacher. I don't know. I definitely had a lot of shit around, like, wanting more money, or talking about money was greedy and gross. Yeah, I remember. So then, yeah, when I started talking about money, and I'm gonna make all this money, and I deserved, like, I really reprogrammed everything and almost did a 180 I remember there was, like, a phase there where you're like, fucking gross. Like, yeah, you didn't like it. And then something changed. So, like, what was that experience like to watch me, who's a representation of you, just completely change all their beliefs and start talking about money. It was just real confronting, because it was like, I couldn't really to me money and greed were the same thing. Yeah. So whenever we'd have these conversations, I was like, Breanna is just turning into a greedy mole. But it wasn't that. It was when you probably taught me like, and started, like, leading the horse to water. I started figuring out that, like, greed and money are separate things. Like, you can have a lot of money and you could, like, forget what the saying was, but it's like, you can have a lot of money, but you can be giving it all away. You can be doing good things with it. It depends how far you take that. If you want to take that all the way and just do anything like not worry about morals or ethics, then that's great. But like, separating those two was like, Oh, the pursuit of money doesn't have to be a bad thing. No, you know what I mean. Like, that was a lot to learn. So, yeah. And then in 20 Fuck, I can't even remember what year it was, we went to Sydney together, and we went to Tony Robbins, and then there was, like, a further turning point there. It felt like, I felt like I saw a lot of change in you after Tony Robbins, but I don't know if you like, do you see a moment or a time, or like, something pivotal that made you sort of change your mindset, and because I saw you started taking massive action in your life, that was the main thing. There was, like, two or three main learnings that I took from Tony Robbins. It was like the first thing was, like, to change how you feeling. Was state, language and focus physiology, physiology. That was like, one of them. And then the other thing was, like, the emotions behind everything. And like, then it was almost like, let's practice it. So after Tony Robbins, it was like, All right, let's see if, like, every day I wake up, do the priming and like the meditations. And like, I can choose how I feel. Let's just like, see if it works. And then for the next few months, it was like, okay, like, it obviously worked, because things started, like, progressing a lot more, I think also taking the action. That's the main thing. Yeah, if you want to do something, you can't whinge if you haven't even tried. Yeah. And that's the hugest I think back, and I'm like, fuck, I just remember, like, even with some work thing that was going on, you felt like you were at a dead end, and you just sat in, you just sat there, and was like, what action can I take? And you just literally walked up to the boss and had a chat with him about where you'd like to go or something. And then that led to something else, and that led to something else. And it was like watching, that was probably the biggest shift I saw. Oh, that's right, yeah, yeah. And you were just like, refusing to stay still or remain stuck, which is the coolest thing I saw. Yeah, 100% so that, and it's funny a because when you talk about, like, your listeners, having partners that won't want to get into it, yeah, you also outgrow yourself, if that makes sense. So like, now I can't imagine how I was, like, five years ago, I was happy on the weekend just watching footy, sitting there, like, you know, mindlessly, not thinking about anything. But now it's like it's a good thing. It's a skill to turn it off. Sometimes, like you need to be able to, like, not always be thinking, What can I do? What could be doing? Like action, action, action. Sometimes it's like you got to take a step back. Now, you outgrow yourself. That's what I've learned. 100% I feel like there's a like, it's a circle of life with personal development, or it's like, you do all of this growth, and you probably get the most benefit from it, because you're actually like, holy shit. I've got awareness now. I can see my limiting beliefs. Yeah, I get to take control. I can create whatever I want. I can and it's like, this, go, go, go. And then, like, exactly. What you said, I felt it. There was a point where it was like, well, now the work is to actually remember how to be just present present, and be completely content where you are, while also knowing that everything is your oyster, yeah, and not losing sight of that, like current gratitude or present gratitude for the present, when you know that you actually can have anything you desire. Yeah, yeah. Balance. It's such a balance. 100% did you talk about it with any of your mates? Like, is it any yeah, I've got the best bunch of mates. I like, they're super open to all that stuff. So I'm probably pretty, like, lucky in that regard. I remember the first time I seen my two best mates, like Jack and John, oh, yeah, you know, they were just so open to hearing how it went, what you learned, and all that. And it was pretty cool. So yeah, I'm probably pretty lucky like that, but I must say, I reckon nowadays guys are becoming more open to all that stuff. Like, it's, you can't just put all men in a box, you know what I mean? People are just different women men. Like, everyone's different. So like, I reckon sometimes you got to just like, say what you think, and men will surprise you. People will surprise you. I couldn't agree with that more. I think the people that have surprised me the most are the ones that I never would have thought were so in, invested and intrigued, like even people from home, because we're not, we're not from Perth, we're like, from Albany, which is five hours south of Perth. And I remember thinking like, oh, cringe. I don't want people from home to see me doing my thing or, like, whatever. And then you got the most hate from me, yeah, so cringe. But that was five years ago now that you said that. And to be fair, looking back, I was doing those dancing fucking Miami videos that were you guys shame. Yeah, but it was the people who surprised me the most that, like even ex colleagues. I was like, Oh, my ex colleagues are gonna think I'm such a Plunker. Like, how embarrassing. And then some of them actually became my clients, and were like, How the fuck do we get out of teaching, which is a whole nother story I was gonna say, when you were talking about, like, being at Tony Robbins. And, you know, he did appeal to the males, but there was, we could see. Do you remember that there was a couple in front of us? Do you remember this? There was a couple in front of us? And it was very fucking clear, this was on day one, because on day one you go in, and everyone's a little bit resistant, like, most of the energy is a bit like, oh God. And he's like, you're gonna go all the way fucking in. And it was just cool. Like, By day three or four, everyone's charging, but the Do you remember on day one, there was a couple, and it was very, very clear that she there was a husband and wife, and she'd clearly brought him, and he had his arms crossed. Was not happy to be there. She's dancing, like, trying to get into it, and he just wouldn't, like, wouldn't open up, wouldn't dance, and then they never came back. Do you remember that? Oh, I remember Yeah. I remember that. Yeah, I remember they didn't come back. Why do you reckon some men are really resistant to it? Like, why? Why? I don't know. It's hard for me to understand, because all of our friends are quite into it. So, like, what is it? I don't know. I suppose that you're going to have to ask that guy, like, he would have just gone there with a lot of resistance to start with. But like, if you go there, like, at the end of the day, even if it is all Woo, which it's not all Woo, like, some, some might be, some might not be. But if you go there, and the one thing he says is just give it your all. And, like, that's all I ask. Just, just do everything that I say and like, just drink the Kool Aid and buy into it. It's like, if you actually do that, then you can't leave feeling shit or worse, or feel like you haven't grown or learnt something, because you've just entered this crazy state for three days you've thought about what you're doing all that shit. Like, am I allowed to swear on you? Yeah, you clearly haven't listened to this podcast. Bro. No, I have sometimes, but um, got sick of my voice. Yeah, no, I don't know. It's just, I don't know. It depends what that guy was feeling. Maybe he felt like he was forced to be there. And I can see how, like, you would be there also. And like, if you're in that mind frame of trying to find things that were stupid or like, Oh, we're just getting up and dancing heaps, of course we're gonna feel good. Like, yeah, you could enter that space, but he probably wouldn't have gotten to this. He obviously didn't get to the second day where all the, like, the juicy stuff comes out. And by the third day, you know, they're 15 hour days. Yeah, it was just, it was awesome. I I really enjoyed it. Tony Robbins is the man. He is the man. He's so fucking cool. Yeah? So if there was, like, a female listening, and she was in a relationship with someone who just wasn't available for it, like, didn't really want to have the chats, wasn't really interested, just there was no common ground. There no, like, common interest, yeah, what would you sort of say? Like, just let it go and let the results speak for themselves. Or, I don't know, like, how would that land for you? I'm no expert. I don't know. But, like, I don't know, but I would just say you can't get everything from one person. That's like, what I found like in past relationships, you can't expect one person. Gonna give you everything. So, like, if you've got friends that have the deep chats, that's a positive, I don't know, maybe even, like, breaking down the fact that it's a scientific law, like, some of the manifestation woo stuff. Like, I don't know, like, the more you focus on something, like, that's like anything, right? If you, if you're doing homework before your essay, you're gonna do better because you've just focused on it. Like, it's actually logical. Some of it's quite logical, but when it's broken down as, like, you just got a manifest baby, like, yeah, no one's gonna listen, you know, yeah, speak bro language, yeah, a little bit. Speak the guy's language and speak, like, break it down into science or I don't put it in there. Like, if they don't want to listen, that's their prerogative. Like, don't force it down their throat at the end of the day. As long as they're sort of half open to it and happy for you to be growing, then that's the main thing, I reckon. Think it would come down to Values too. Like, everyone's got a different value for how much they need to connect, like, on an intellectual or emotional value, and some people can get that from their friends, and that's enough. Yeah, some people need that from their partner. And just think, I would say to also consider, like, what, what are your highest values within a relationship? And if, if it's not one of your highest values, or it is even like, exactly what you said, get it from your mates or something. Get it somewhere else if you need to. That's tricky one a because every, every, like, relationships different. So I don't know. I don't know it's a tough one. So I wanted to switch gears a little bit, because we did talk about how Travis singles. So ladies, if you're watching on YouTube or still gonna send your ear holes and you've made it this far, this part is going to be an application for a sister in law? No, not really. I'm joking. I'm not actually looking. No, he's actually not looking at the moment, which is totally fine. But we've been having chats about, like, being single in your 30s, and you've been saying to me, like the dating landscape has changed, which is, I've heard that a lot from some clients. So what's the best part about being single in your 30s, and what's the most frustrating part for the best part probably just, like, the freedom, like, I just enjoy doing my own thing at the moment, but like, yeah, eventually be nice to meet someone that you have that real connection with. And what was the worst part is that the other so the the best part and the most frustrating part, frustrating probably, I mean, it's probably just my fault, really, like, probably just lack of, like, social like, actually, just meeting people in your life, yeah, like, obviously being up on the mines, like, there's more women, like, coming into the mining thing, but you're around pretty male dominated environment. Then when you come home, it's like, you know, you're busy doing extra training for work, or you go to the gym with your earphones in, like, just say, society's like, lost that sort of like organic meeting. I feel like when I was traveling, I met a lot more women, just like at work, or just like around, around the place. But I just feel like you either meet on Tinder, which is got so many issues now, like, some people are there for validation, some people, there's so many, and I haven't been perfect on Tinder. I've ghosted people and all that as well. So like, yeah, it's just a different Yeah, it's a funny dating scene at the moment, but to be honest, like, I'm pretty happy by myself for now. He's got his Well, he's already asking if he can take Simba when the baby comes, and just you and you and the cavoodle your boy, we gotta pick up on the beach. Do you ever feel pressure, like from society or family or me or just society at large, to settle down? Do you feel that pressure? Because, like, being 31 being 31 is how old? Blows my brain that you're 31 still? Yeah, no, I don't know, really, no, no, I don't think so. But like, I feel pressure from myself, like I put, yeah, pressure on myself. I guess I always think about, like a guy's role in a relationship and like, if they want to have kids and stuff. So I'm always stuff. So I'm always like, oh, like, I need to make sure I've got, like, a bit of a nest growing and, like, a good job and stuff like that. So like, when I turned 30, I started putting more pressure on myself, but not from society. No, not really. It's something you've kind of already touched on. But do you think dating is harder now? Like, because I think you've said to me, like, it's not the same, like, because I'm like, Tinder was the best. Tinder was so good. I loved Tinder, and then I met Paul on Tinder, and you've said it's different now, like, that was eight, nine years ago that I was on that scene, yeah. And you've said that the landscapes change. So you mentioned, like, there's, it's harder just to connect organically. But what's the online like? And for people that are just listening and they're just nosy, like, well, what is it like these days, on the on the tinder apps, like, or the, whatever the apps are called now, yeah, How's it different? There's so it's so dynamic. A like, a like, I don't know if it's same for chicks, but guys. Is usually pay like, if you want to get solid matches, like, I paid for one of them before, and it was like, as soon as I paid for the app, you started getting, like, way better matches. Obviously, people weren't seeing my profile. I wasn't seeing theirs. So I hacked an algorithm, yeah, some algorithm hacks. I'm like, That's crap. Like, I don't want to rely on some, you know, hack or paying to just meet women. So there's that, there's like, men and women both going on there for validation. I think, like, everyone's replaceable as well. So like, I think over time, as people have, like, from eight, nine years ago, people have learned that, like, I can just go on another Tinder date. Like, I've probably even been a bit like that myself, like, not exactly what I want, you know, but I can like them, I don't know, just like the fact that even if you you go on a good day, it's like you've got an hour or two hours just to, like, you know, meet this person, like, figure out, like, what they're about, like everything, whereas, like, if you meet someone organically, you just slowly learn them. But I feel like I'm probably slow burn, so like, going on an hour date where there's alcohol and I'm not, like, a big drinker anymore. It's just really, like the vibe. So it's just it feels like an interview, interview, a probably because I make it one. I'm like, oh, so like, what do you do? I don't know what good stuff, yeah, but like, yeah, it's just yeah. I'm probably just shit at dating. No, I think that you're just someone like, exactly. It's hard to explain. You are so much deeper and like. You are someone that like, it's not a slow burn thing, but you're so much more comfortable. That's what it is. You're so much more comfortable when it's just in, like, a relaxed setting, and you get to be more laid back and chilled, and you're in your zone, you're in your comfort place. But walking into a bar where you don't even really love drinking, you're not like, it's just not your scene. Yeah? It's not anymore, yeah. So then it's like, well, where the fuck maybe the gym, or when you're living in your van? Like, there's so many different ways. But Perth is very like Perth, very closed. It's a different city. I think I've told you that heaps of times now, but because everyone's on their own, like half of the people are mining rosters. So like, everyone's like, when they're out there, out to see their friends, yeah, I've heard from people that have moved to Perth that it's kind of Clicky. I don't feel like that, because I've got awesome friendship groups, yeah, but our friendship groups probably, like we were saying last night, imagine if you had a new partner, right? It would be pretty intimidating for your new partner to come into our crew, not because we're intimidating, but we've all been friends for 15 or so years longer, like you and I, 31 years, but it's like, I guess, minus 18, where you ignore me, yeah. Probably weren't friends. But even though we're saying, like, it's not clicky, I can see how someone coming into our group would be like, Fuck, this is a hard click to sort of like, Do you know what I mean? So maybe even where in our own click and we don't see it, yeah? Possibly Yeah. It's just a Yeah, it's a funny place, yeah? Because Vancouver was not like this. I suppose it's different. When you're traveling, though I was traveling, you're going to jobs where people like their priority isn't their job, yeah? So like, you know, yeah, you just meet heaps more people. If you were going to write a dating profile that was brutally honest about me and what you were looking for, about you and what you were looking for, like a dating bio. And it was just brutally honest. Yeah, what would you say? You're looking for a unicorn. We spoke about this last night. I was gonna crack a joke, but I better not just have Paul in my mind. Oh, God, don't say whatever last night. Don't worry. I'll tell you. I'll tell you later. Oh, what would I be looking for? I don't know. I'm not really looking at the moment. I'm just, yeah, I don't know. I'm really not that worried at the moment. When you do what's most important. I really like, when a chicks, like, how nurturing and just like, just like, kind, that's pretty, like, like, standard, but like, just a nice person, yeah, you know what I mean? Like, all the other stuff's kind of just like, there is more, like, there's more that I want than just She's kind, but like, that's like, the main thing, you know what I mean, other things like, you can get things wrong here and there, but if you're at least kind, and you come from a good spot, that's like, half of it. Yeah, you know what I mean, very Freudian. You're looking for your mum. Well, mom is, like, the kindest person on the planet. Yeah, true, I reckon, yeah. Kind nurturing. I can't I need someone that probably, like, pretty, like, just down for the chats, like, you know, like, like, bigger worldly chats, I'll enjoy that shit, yeah? Like, looks after themselves would be good. Like, you know, just go to the gym, but nothing high value for health. Yeah, that's it. That doesn't have to be a supermodel. Guys, if you're watching on YouTube, we'll, we'll rewind that and just like, try. I've just, like, pointed to his belly, yeah, but it's disappearing slowly, ladies, but he's not looking Yeah, so good. So let's wrap it up. Yeah. What do you think is the biggest benefit for men to be doing some, like personal development, internal work, inner work, whatever the fuck you call it like, what's the biggest benefit? Change, positive impact that maybe they haven't realized or thought about. It depends on what they're learning. Because sometimes I felt like I can control my state. So that's really beneficial, because when life gives you lemons, you like, we'll make some lemonade, you know, like, but then sometimes it might just be a concept where, like, something's not working, and it's that whole You either like, have success or you learn. And that's just a concept that we learned, you know. So it just depends on what you like the barrier is, what the obstacle is. But yeah, there's so many things to take away from it. And even if it at the end of the day, if you just get a growth mindset out of it, that's pretty much the main thing that I sort of took from it, like anything can be achieved if you put your mind to it. That big thing that Tony Robbins spoke about was, like, replace how I'm going to achieve something with who's going to help me. I love that. And that and that was just like the main things, like, whenever I've got, like, an issue or something like, I'm no guru, I've got no idea, but it's helped me anyway, yeah, whenever you like learning about stuff or trying to do something that you've never done before, it's like, All right, who's someone that has done, yeah, close to what I'm trying to do. And then you ask them, and you're just like, Oh, I just learned from all their mistakes in 10 minutes, you know, like, such as, so many gems from getting into it. But, yeah, what about relationships? How do you reckon relationships are improved? Or, like, just and trigger everyone, yeah, like, handling your triggers, understanding people like, I don't know. I feel like that was something that I also saw well with both of us, really, I was much more tolerable of you. Yeah, you definitely didn't. Yeah, it didn't snap. Maybe trav's got a lot of like, unprocessed anger from those first 18 years, yeah, I suppose so. Like, sometimes you just take a second and just think about, like, Was, Is that actually my shit? Yeah, just sometimes it's that it's simple as that you just be like, oh, like, That's actually me being hell tired right now, just bit of self awareness. Like, it's nothing. It's not brain science, just like, literally, yeah, it's just knowing yourself would be better, yeah, which I think changes your whole life. That to me, like we're both like, we're both teachers, but we've had these chats so many times, like, why isn't this the shit that's taught at school? Like, if kids had more self awareness? I walked away from Tony Robbins and all the studies that I've done in that, you know, NLP, and all that, and I'm like, Why the fuck are we learning the flute and algebra and fucking Pythagoras theorem at 10 years old, when we don't know how to manage our emotions or take a beat so that we don't blow up at people? Like, imagine if we all learned that. It's literally what kids are. They're little emotional beings, like, and we just drum it out of them. Like, as soon as we can, it's just like, sit down. Sit down. Like, yeah, can you actually just quickly? This is a bit of a side tangent, but like, what did you observe when in your time as a teacher that was heartbreaking to witness, and because Trav, similar to me, left the system, saw a lot of issues with it. Saw a lot of problems with it. I probably wasn't cut out for it either, but I think, I think it takes a fucking, honestly, it's just getting so they're saints. Yeah, the bit like, I think they deserve a fucking pay rise triple. But anyway, I remember you coming home from prac, and sometimes you were just like, it's so fucking sad. Like, what were some of the things that you saw or witnessed that you're like, that's fucking not on and what needs to be done. Because this is just a chat that I think lots of parents listening to would appreciate, like that. First prac was, I must say, I went to a great school. So there's nothing I get like that was actually like, the best school I went to, fantastic. So there's actually nothing ill will to say about them at all. I was in a, like, a year one class, and yeah, it was just like my experience that like, like my mentor teacher was the best. So it's nothing to do with her. It was more just like the system, the system like we had, we had to get like these, you know, we had to get these assessments done. We had to get all these recordings for each student, we have to make sure that they're sitting down, they're conforming and all this. And it's almost like that was six. Like, yeah, I just remember this one kid that was just like, had so much energy and light about him. He was just a cool little kid, and it was like he had to sit down right because he has to learn that we're not playing anymore. And. Your ones the first year where you're not, it's not play based learning, right? But it was just sad to watch, because you're just like, oh, like, this kid's just got lots of energy, and he's just a fun kid, but, and I was ended up being the one that would have to say to him, like, sit down. Like, sit down, sit down. Just like, Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet. That wasn't me. So I wasn't like, giving out good energy and emotions. Felt like you were putting on a mask, yeah? So you've got to be this, like, uptight person that's, like, kind of grumpy, right? Yeah, to get a kid to do what they need to do, yeah? And then the kids not getting, like, any good emotional feedback back from me, yeah? I mean, it's hard to do, like, good, like, my mentor teacher, she was the best, like, she would give, you know, positive praise all the time. So a lot of it was probably me as well. But like, it is hard to always, yeah, it was. It was a pretty enlightening experience, a because, like, you see that kids are, yeah, like, they're introduced to a pretty horrible system straight off the bat. Yeah, they just, like, fit into a box straight away. It feels like, but yeah, I don't know, yeah, I'm sure, like, some schools, yeah, it's more just the system. It's not the schools, it's not the teachers. Like, we've got amazing teachers. So it's more just like, I feel like this stuff should be included, like, for an hour a day, how much more happy and successful would the next generation be if an hour a day, they just get a little bit of emotional like, resilience education, yeah? Like, especially nowadays, like, resilience is the biggest thing. Like, even I sometimes feel like I need to be more resilient because the world's pretty fucking brutal, yeah. So, yeah, I reckon that'd be a good thing. But, like, that's why I give you kudos for what you're doing. But like, it's going to be an uphill battle. Like, the school's pretty institutionalized system. Yeah, they're not interested. But I think, like, we were in our late 20s when we, you know, learned this stuff, applied this stuff, and our lives changed. And I hear so many people going, Why the fuck did I have to wait till I was like, 3040, 50, to learn all this, and I just think it should be taught at a young age, and then it wouldn't be this big thing that relationships are coming up against, because one person's trying to seek it out for themselves later on in life, and the other person is just programmed to not be that way. Yeah, and that causes more relationship riffs and disconnection, and it's this horrible thing where it's like we've normalized, I think we're in a world that not for all, obviously, but it's like we're normalizing disconnection. And just like normalizing just being on our phones, on the trains, on the busses, normalizing not talking to our neighbors, normalizing fucking numbing out on our phones and whatever, yeah, and this connection, like there's an epidemic of loneliness, because people have lost the art and skill, also of how to communicate and talk to one another and look at people in the eye and spark up conversation, and that just breeds more loneliness. So it does make me worried about, you know, I mean, there's, there's good and bad in everything, but I do think we've normalized disconnection, and I can also see how that ties into the dating world these days. Yeah, 100% I mean, it's going to be an uphill battle to fix it, because technology is only going to get stronger and stronger. It's only going to get more entwined with our lives. So, you know, chat, GBT, all that, like, I use it all the time, so at the end of the day, like, it's only going to be more and more. But yeah, I suppose it's just like consciously deciding like to enter spaces with more community, to like, have better relationships with the people that actually count, putting the effort in with those people like that. Yeah, I don't know, but that's what helps me 100% Yeah, all right, let's wrap it up with some rapid fire questions. I'll just ask a few quick ones. Off the top of my head, what is the what is something about me that you those questions go back to you so self absorbed. I just know I'm happy. I'm happy to be roasted. Yeah. What is something that I think, Oh, here's a good one. What is something that I think I'm good at that you actually like, Breanna, you're fucking terrible at it. Probably podcast. Something you're good at I think I'm good at that, you're like, No, bro, I gotta think this is hard. It's so hard, like, I think you're pretty good at most things. I thought you're gonna say basketball, no, you know you're bad. What? You don't think you're good? I do. I think you we had a conversation the other day. You know that you used to be okay? I was very good, as it was. You are not anyway, mom on the couch doing stuff. So I thought I was real good about clear that you bad at basketball. No, I don't know you're good at everything. I think you're not good at driving. No, okay, you know that. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Yeah, I've got much for you though. Okay, okay, that's good one. What is something you're currently working on, trying to get my van up and running? Honestly, I want, I want, like career, like career would be the main thing for me. Like, I want a career that's just stable, and it might sound a bit boring and like, I'm sure all your listeners want to get into business and that, and I do too eventually. But for me, I want, like, that stable, like, stable career that just keeps things going. And, like, the money's like, always there. And, yeah, well, that's kind of your anchor for like, because you invest so heavily. Yeah, I think it just makes so much sense that as long, as long as you're using it to invest, yeah, it's all good. Yeah. What's one message you have for a younger version of yourself on maybe a more challenging or difficult day? I'd say, like, just don't use any vices. Like, just sit with it. Like, if you have to, just sit with it for days. Like, don't sit with your emotions. Yeah, sit with your emotions and try and process things. Don't just be like, Oh, well, the best way to, you know, like, not think about this problem is playing Xbox or having a beer. You know what I mean? Like, I wasn't a big drinker. I was never a huge drink. I like, I'd be a bit of a binge drinker, like most people in their teens and that. But like, I still just, I hate it. I hate alcohol. So I just say, like, give up drinking, like, as quick as you can. Like, yeah, there's limited, I know, just things like that. Like, yeah, actually try to process what you're going through. Love it. Last question, yeah, if your life was a song, what would the soundtrack be? Sicko mode. Let's go. Oh, your taste in music is equally as bipolar as mine. Fuck. I love music. I just like thinking about all these different songs. I've got one for you. I feel like I've got a song choice. Actually, I've got you go first, and then I think I've got it all right. I feel like your song, your soundtrack of life, at the moment, would be, life is a highway, possibly. I think that was the old me No, but like you're about to like you've got this sick van, it's fucking like, it's what dreams are made of. I'm so jealous of what you're about to step into. Yeah, as I get fat and pregnant, you're about to just step into my old dream life, like the van you're gonna live between. But like, there's just so much freedom. It's so cool. Yeah, and I feel like life is a highway. It's just like, what's your next season? Possibly, I reckon it'd be white horse. Chris Stapleton, have a listen to that white horse. Yeah, I know the song, but I'm trying to think, like, what if you want a cow on a white horse? Yeah, it's like a cowboy on a white horse. I'm not there yet. I'm pretty sure, great song. Tell good it's like, great song. I'm not there yet, baby, got more to do, still growing, still learning, never done. All right, thanks for being here. Brosky, easy. Thanks having me. Thanks for roasting me. I didn't really could have been. I got plenty more. All right, bye, bye. Thank you for tuning in to the mind school podcast. It is a massive intention of mine to continue to grow this show, because the more the show grows, the better the guests get, and I know that is going to be so powerful for you listening. So if I could ask this massive favor, it would mean the world if you could please leave a review, hit the Follow button or leave a rating on Spotify, so that we can continue to grow this show and bring you the juiciest, most thought provoking and expansive conversations through incredible guests. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you next week. You.