Do you want to write a book? Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to start a business? What are YOUR fears? Do you fear you can't do the things you used to do? Fear of the unknown. Fear of uncertainty. Procrastination and perfectionism...two words that are linked to fear. This episode will dig deep into what we fear at life 'in the middle' and beyond. What triggers our fear and how do we overcome it? We will figure out how to look fear in the eye, push it aside and forge ahead. Let's set out to overcome those things that stop us in our tracks. Let's not look back but live forward. Check out and subscribe https://www.fearlesslyfacingfifty.com/ for more podcast episodes and updates.
Subscribe to the Fearlessly Facing Fifty podcast anywhere you listen to your podcasts.
Do you want to write a book? Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to start a business? What are YOUR fears? Do you fear you can't do the things you used to do? Fear of the unknown. Fear of uncertainty. Procrastination and perfectionism...two words that are linked to fear. This episode will dig deep into what we fear at life 'in the middle' and beyond. What triggers our fear and how do we overcome it? We will figure out how to look fear in the eye, push it aside and forge ahead. Let's set out to overcome those things that stop us in our tracks. Let's not look back but live forward. Check out and subscribe https://www.fearlesslyfacingfifty.com/ for more podcast episodes and updates.
Subscribe to the Fearlessly Facing Fifty podcast anywhere you listen to your podcasts.
Mm.
Speaker 2:Hey there. I'm Amy. And welcome to the podcast fearlessly facing 50. This podcast is about conversations and connections and my mission is to encourage women over 40 to live their best life. You know what, ladies, we haven't peaked yet and we are just getting started. So if you're ready for some real talk with real people and real conversations about what really matters, you have found the right place. I'm ready. Are you ready? Let's get started. Let's get real.
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:I'm Amy and welcome to fearlessly facing 50 the podcast that is about empowering and encouraging women over the age of 40 reaching 50 beyond 50 to go all in wherever they are in their life. You know, it's, it's been such a fun journey so far. I say that every, every week. Um, I wanted to start out just by letting you know that my website's up and running. I would so love it. If you would take a minute to subscribe. Um, you will not be bombarded with emails. Don't worry, that's not what it's about. But you will be up to date on things that are coming up, events, giveaways, all sorts of good information. You'll be the first to know. So I would ask that you go to fearlessly facing fifty.com you go to the blog tab, you click on that where it says subscribe and you can enter your email. It's as easy as that. You also can follow me on Instagram at fearlessly facing 50 and I've got a Facebook page as well. I'm so happy that you're here today. Um, it's, it's just really something to be on the receiving end of responses from people all over the country that are really listening and interested and sharing their insight and knowledge at a time when I think women need it most. I really do. I'm so passionate about this and I so welcome your feedback. So please send me comments right on my website. Again, there's a whole section where you can contact me, send me questions, story, ideas, content ideas. I am open, I'm an open book and I would love to get to know you. It's, it's one of the best parts of this to be honest. So today we're going to be talking about fear. I think fear is a, uh, a real thing obviously when you hit the middle of your life and you think, wow, you know, I, I've, I've lived over half my life. I mean, it's an amazing place to be. So grateful for every day that we get to have. But with it comes a lot of fears. I talked to a few women and they gave me a little bit of insight about what they're worried about and where some anxiety and fear kind of sets in for them. And I wanted to share because I think together we're a force and I think together we share a common thread with a lot of these things. So opening up and talking about them and finding solutions and having resources is, is what we need to conquer those fears. So one person mentioned to me, I'm really afraid to sign those membership papers when my ARP comes in the mail because I believe when you turn 50, I'm almost there, correct me if I'm wrong. You're going to get all sorts of information from ARP. That's okay. Fill it out. I'm sure there's some great perks with ARP as well. Hotel discounts. I always see that when I'm booking something it says, check this box if you're an ARP member. Somebody said, I get really nervous when I sign up for races and this is a woman who has done a lot of triathlons and half marathons and she now checks a different box. She's not 45 to 49 anymore. She's not 50 to 54 anymore. She's checking a different box and that that makes her nervous. I'm worried about how I'm going to handle the pain of losing someone I love. I'm worried about getting sick. I'm worried I won't have lived to my fullest potential. I'm worried about caring for my aging parents and my relationships with my siblings.
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:I'm worried that I'm looking old. Well, when I was doing my research for this, I have always been a huge fan of my Angelo and she had a couple of things in one of the books that I read, a couple of quotes I wanted to share. One she said at 50 I began to know who I was. It was like waking up to myself. She also said
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:where that off the shoulder blouse and the big beaded necklace and the sandals and put a flower in your hair. Even if your wrinkled, you're beautiful. So in the middle we deal with a lot of fears. We always have that fear of uncertainty and the unknown. We have the fear of growing older. I personally have a family health history that is pretty crazy and when I go to fill out the paperwork or anyone goes to the doctor in my family and has to fill out paperwork, we check a whole lot of boxes. So one fear I have as I get older is my health and my husband's health. But let's put those aside for a minute. Let's talk about the good old things that make our heartbeat faster. Our palms get a little sweaty. We feel as though we're breaking out with a rash and figure out why we have those fears at this age. Shouldn't we be old enough to deal with this and make the fear go away? Come on. I was scared of Heights, but go to my happy place every time I get off a chair lift on the top of a green run and yes, I did say green run, no black diamonds for me these days. Do you procrastinate or do you think you're a perfectionist? Thinking about those two things for a minute. Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of eat pray love, which I'm sure a lot of you read years ago once said, perfection is fear and high heeled shoes. Truly it's fear all dressed up looking like it has the best intentions for us to succeed, but in reality, perfectionism can be hand in hand with procrastination and it keeps us from making any progress. Since all efforts are not going to be good anyway, does this fear kind of creep up on us on this age and you feel like you can't put your best effort in because you're just not sure what you're going to accomplish? Do you get those physical symptoms of fear, like your heart racing and anxiety or like me or may fear sets in and I procrastinate and then I decide that it's a perfect day to clean the house, not just a peripheral clean, but on those days when I'm fearing something or I'm procrastinating, I deep clean, I clean my windows, I cleaned the moldings. I might even clean my oven or when I'm scared or fearful about something, I do laundry or when I have to pack for a trip that I'm really looking forward to. That same kind of fear kicks in for me. I do absolutely everything else, but what I really need to, I will seriously shop til I drop, go out to lunch and completely procrastinate and not do what I'm supposed to do. For Pete's sake, Amy, it's, Oh, I have to do is throw some things in a suitcase I've packed for anyone else, but the fear of all that's come, that's to come. The unknown, the flight, the details, the logistics, getting everything done, creeps in and fear of the unknown takes over and I don't get anything done. Once again, you would think that at almost 50 I'd have this mastered. No, not even close. When does fear set in for you? Don't judge yourself. Just think about it. Are you trying to write a book? Are you trying to start a business? Are you trying to get your resume together? Are you trying to figure out what the heck to make for dinner tonight? Okay, I got you on that one. That could, that can bring a little bit of fear on, I know it does for me. You think to yourself, I am not smart enough to go back to work. What am I going to do? I'm I'm old. Who is going to hire me? So as much as this is about being fearless, as we get older and take on middle-age, fear is there. Fear is actually healthy. It's actually normal. You can't be completely fearless. Who are we kidding? Like I said earlier, I fear things about my health. I can't control a lot of it, but I can control some of it by the choices I make. I remember fearing that something was going to happen to my dad. I lived a long ways away. I lived in another country. My dad was suffering with Parkinson's and I really figured something was going to happen to him and it, it kept me up at night. I was so far away what? What could I do? So I said, you know what, dad, you and mom need to come and visit us in Germany. I knew he was still well enough to travel and we were gone for six years. He happened to pass away during the time I was in Germany, but he came, he visited me. You have to really look fear in the eye and you have to say, okay, I'm scared about this. I'm fearful of this, but what can I do? I sometimes fear I can't do the things I used to take the black diamond reference I made earlier, but that's okay. It's normal I my knees to stay intact at this point in my life. So let's try and overcome these fears that we have at this age and how we do that. We need to become aware of what triggers it. I know I procrastinate about packing for a trip because I actually am a bit of a nervous flyer. It's true. I've flown my whole life. I've traveled a lot, but it's still an underlying fear and it sets in. That triggers fear for me. That's what I'm nervous about. I'm ultimately very capable of packing a few things in a bag. You get it right. I've started and stopped my book. I can't tell you how many times I have great intentions. I have ideas flowing and I start then with the deep cleaning of the house or I decide I can't write right now. I can't. I need to go to Costco and buy that super huge bag of chips because I'm scared to sit down and write because I don't know where I'm going to start. I'll start writing it tomorrow, but I really got to go to Costco right now. Procrastination, perfectionism. It's a big fear. I've learned for myself what the triggers are and that stopped me in my tracks and I work really hard to push that fear aside. Who are we pleasing? I mean, who am I trying to please? Who cares if the spelling is totally correct. If my grammar is totally incorrect, who cares if the sentences don't make sense? It's not great on a curve. Nobody's reading it except for me, I learned to set a goal, something I can accomplish. For example, when I get into this point of fear about writing, I set a goal of writing three sentences a day. No judging. I'm just writing three sentences. That could take me two minutes. It could make take me 10 hours. It doesn't matter because I didn't procrastinate. I didn't need it to be perfect, even though I was scared and my fear set in, I did it. Have you thought about starting a business or going back to school or working part time? Those fears set in. Come on. You know they do. I can't write a business plan. No one's gonna think it's a good idea. Who do you think you are? Some CEO or something. Once again, don't judge. Don't get into the trap of saying you're too busy. Set a goal and accomplish it every day. I wanted to share with you a book I read several years ago. You may have seen the video clip. It went viral. Um, when William Admiral William H McRaven did the commencement speech at university of Texas, the book is called make your bed little things that can change your life and maybe the world. There's a quote in there that I just love. It says if you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. And by the end of the day that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. I got a quote from one of my listeners about a week ago and she was really trying to conquer her fear of running and getting back in shape. She ran when she was younger. She ran in college on kind of a club cross country team. So she knew she could do it, but she hadn't run for two decades. And this is what she told me. Ultimately my fear kept me from dreaming big and achieving my biggest fitness goal. It stopped me from living the life I wanted.
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:she has since gone on and run two marathons.
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:whenever you fail at something, use it as an opportunity to learn what you could have done differently. I think about that all the time and we're gonna fail. We can't be afraid of failing
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:because that's part of our journey. It's part of our story.
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:make yourself and your dreams a priority. Just because we're in the middle, just because we've lived 40 50 60 70 years. You don't have to stop dreaming. You don't have to be fearful.
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:of setting the world on fire.
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:think about how your goals can inspire others and they can
Speaker 3:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:I think of a friend who recently went back to work after years of networking two decades. Was she scared? Absolutely. Did we have conversations about it for sure, but you know what? She has ignited a flame within herself that has spread to others because it's inspiring to see somebody accomplish that and do it, set their fears aside and say, you know what, am I going to have to learn things along the way? Absolutely. But it's so great to set your goals. Don't be fearful. Keep in mind you have the right to pursue your dreams. Nobody's stopping you. Nobody's going to look at your dream list and say, Amy, you are crazy. Well, they might think that, but they might not actually come out and say it. We've earned the right to pursue our dreams. My dad used to say, Amy, you have ideas you haven't even thought of yet. I think about that all the time and I can picture him standing in front of me saying it. Dream big, but you can start small.
Speaker 3:Think about that
Speaker 1:because everybody wants to have these grandiose dreams. You can dream at big chart your course. Navigate your course on how you're going to get there. Accomplish one thing a day like I did with my writing. Write a few sentences. The mind is an amazing thing and putting together a list of goals, your dreams, what you all want to. What do you want to accomplish at this time of your life? 40 50 60 beyond. Write them down. Look at them every day. Push your fears aside. It's all about not looking back, but about living forward, making your list. Put your fears aside, make your list. Don't judge your list. Write your list with intention because you know what? It's not going to happen. By luck. Write it down. Look at it. Set your goals and I can't wait to hear your stories. Have a great week.
Speaker 3:[inaudible].