EP8: The things that make me different make me, me

The things that make me different make me, me.
This interview will leave an imprint on your heart and / or inspire you to action. Maybe this story is similar to your own, or you can think of someone that has lived their life with autism. Think about navigating your life...being different.  Being unique and not completely understood. Maybe you are a parent of a child, or have an adult child with autism and have experienced this journey.  Maybe you have a friend or family member that has autism. I always talk about opening your circles...becoming horseshoes, and allowing yourself to step outside your comfort zone and put fear and uncertainty aside.  As an adult, living with Asperger's, Alex Fischetti, has done just that, and does it everyday.  Hear his voice, his inspiring story of challenge, some difficult moments, but in the middle of it all lies opportunity.
Here is a  to purchase Alex's book:  https://www.amazon.com/Lonesome-Blonde-Haired-Angel-Encouragement/dp/152192709X/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+lonesome+boy+and+the+blonde+haired+angel&qid=1573489140&sr=8-1

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

[inaudible].

Speaker 2: 0:02

Hey there, I'm Amy and welcome to the podcast fearlessly facing 50 this podcast is about conversations and connections and my mission is to encourage women over 40 to live their best life. You know what, ladies, we haven't peaked yet and we are just getting started. So if you're ready for some real talk with real people and real conversations about what really matters, you have found the right place. I'm ready. Are you ready? Let's get started. Let's get real.

Speaker 3: 0:44

[inaudible]

Speaker 1: 0:47

Hey there. I'm Amy and welcome to fearlessly facing 50 and beyond because it's not just about turning 50 but about embracing this time of life 40 50, 60 beyond when everything changes and things shift and we're opening the dialogue about these things and bringing attention to subjects that sometimes are difficult to talk about. First of all, I want to thank you for your continued support of fearlessly facing 50 you know, you can find me everywhere on social media. Uh, you can follow me on Facebook. I've got a group there I would love for you to join. It's fearlessly facing 50 you can go right to Facebook. I also have an Instagram page and my website, which also will link to my blogs and podcasts. All the episodes are listed there, but you can search the podcast episodes anywhere you listen to podcast. So today I've got a great episode for you to listen to. I have a very special young man with me today, a man that's known around this town as really someone special. I want you to hear his story, his journey as he's an adult living with a type of autism called Asperger's syndrome. Some of you might be familiar with Asperger's, maybe you know someone, a family friend that has been diagnosed today we're going to hear from Alex and Alex has an incredible spirit about him, which you will find. He published a book that you're going to hear about and one of the parts in the book that I really think about and resonated with me when I read them for the first time was the top 10 ways you can be a great friend to a person with Asperger's or autism and he spells them all right out in the book from his, from his journey. Be as positive as you can. Have a good sense of humor, be as patient as possible and lend a hand when you can see they're struggling. Try not to be judgmental when asking for their help for anything. Be as specific as you possibly can with what you want them to do so they can help you without confusion or difficulty. If at any point in the middle of talking to you, they suddenly stopped together. Their thoughts give them time. They're trying to find a way to say the right words without sounding confusing or come off as rude if you don't know them, but frequently. See them around town, work, school, gently ask them to join your circle. If they say yes, great. If they say no, let them have their space, never forced them to do anything. Let them make as many decisions on their own as possible. Take time to learn what makes them happy and what they enjoy doing so you can figure them out better and in return they're more comfortable with you and his number. 10 reason or way that you can be a great friend to a person with autism or Asperger's is never stopped telling them what a blessing they are to you and to the world. Think about those 10 things for a minute. Those were written for from someone that has lived his life was something making him unique or different. When I was doing some research before this show, I was reading a lot about autism and Asperger's and one of the quotes, two quotes came to me, but this one I just loved and an article I was reading from a gentleman who kind of went through his story and now as a 63 year old, he said the things that make me different make me me

Speaker 4: 5:43

[inaudible].

Speaker 1: 5:45

There was a book written back in 2010 by Jodie pickle house rules. I encourage you to pick it up. I'll leave a link in the bio of the show notes and on website in the story, the characters named Jacob Hunt and he has a teen with Asperger's. He has a difficult time expressing himself, but he's brilliant in so many ways. I encourage you to pick up a copy and read it. It's an incredible book. I'm going to leave you with this quote before I turn over our interview to end our discussion with Alex. Think about this for a minute. In the middle of difficulty, lies, opportunity. Enjoy the show. I am so excited to have someone here with me today that has a story that will not only inspire you, but challenge you to reach outside your comfort zone even when it's not easy. So Alex, machetes with me today. Alex was diagnosed with autism at the age of nine. Unbelievable. And he is actively involved in his community of Ridgefield, Connecticut. He's really just a, just an inspiration to everybody. He's an avid writer. He has a new YouTube channel that I'm going to tell you about and I can't wait to tell you where to get a copy of his book. I'll have a link in this episode, so let's get to it. Welcome Alex. Thank you Amy for having me on your show. I'm so excited. Um, what I absolutely love about you is the light that you bring to everyone that you come in contact with. It's, it's true. It really is. I mean, the first time I met you when I picked up a copy of your book, just immediately you have this magnet. It's amazing. So how do you stay so positive and inspire so many people?

Speaker 5: 7:33

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I think it's because of all the amazing, uh, lights that I meet around, uh, around my community on a, on a regular basis. It's, um, you know, a light light adds light and I've met so many beautiful eye lights in my life, uh, that have really helped, uh, ignite the spark in my own spirit, you know? Uh, I mean, you know, I mean I have my own, you know, you know, dark moments, you know, when I feel like I don't really, you know, just, uh, I'm not, I don't think I'm going to be able to like get through the day and then all of a sudden a whole bunch of beautiful souls come around to ignite the spark. And then, uh, low and behold, it keeps my positive head up high.

Speaker 1: 8:08

I know. And he is so positive. Wow. That's amazing. That's amazing. So you were diagnosed with autism at nine.

Speaker 5: 8:15

Yeah, I was a, I was, I was on the, I've been on the spectrum a Fez for as long as I can remember. I am, I walked into the doctor's office one day and I was like looking down because you know, we, um, um, that's, um, I've started getting good at all of it today, but, uh, we still, we struggle with eye contact and I want to do the doctor's office and the doctor just said, you know, you're, you, you might be on the autism spectrum. And then, uh, and then, uh, and then I, that was my diagnosis and I went through, you know, this special ed case in process in school and, you know, just trying to figure things out here and trying to figure things out there, but a long but, uh, has, uh, these, uh, awfully y'all, I've been able to, uh, prove they even though autism ma, yeah. You get a few like moments in your, it can be a little bit difficult to figure things out as quickly as like a, like the average person. But, uh, I've definitely tried to, I've, uh, hopefully I've been able to accomplish, ah, quite a quite a big deal.

Speaker 1: 9:08

Oh, quite a bit. Deal. You know, I love the part of your book and I referenced it, I did a little prerecord before Alex, you specified 10 things just to kind of, you know, that you can do if you meet somebody with autism and, and they're so amazing. I just, I mean, that gives us kind of a glimpse into if we turn our lens the other way and I just think that's so important. So how have you become just so brave? I mean, I, I really, I think you're just brave.

Speaker 5: 9:35

Oh, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. A few of them. I mean, I, I'm a, I rely on my phone faith. My faith is a very, plays a very big role in y'all helping me, like get through the day. I have a, a very, uh, good a, I have a good relationship and an interesting relationship with the Lord. You know, ever saw y'all did some our line him for my, you know, my strength and be able to like get through things that's like, um, that, that can be really difficult for some people. And then, and then, then, then I, um, I also liked the people who sends my way, like a, in my book, uh, the lonesome boy and the blonde hair day. And Joel, I'm a very special person, uh, came into my life. Her name is, uh, her name is Reni. And uh, she became a very, uh, inspirational a person, uh, to me. And, uh, just through simple acts of kindness, you know, just like being there for me, like a, you know, simple hug. And now a few simple words of encouragement that, uh, how may blossom to who I am, uh, today. And, uh, it really helped like break the chain so that I can like, uh, I can bring it back to my community. Uh, my, uh, I guess, I guess like somewhat popularity or like someone's on a honorary honorary select current status and whatnot and uh, definitely quiet. Definitely come quite a long way. I mean, you were named so top 25. Yep. Yes, the Richfield top 25, uh, the rich group, original magazine was so sweet to honor me. The Richfield a 25, a, the top 25 influential inspirational, uh, Richfield fielders alongside people like, you know, my executive ma, Alison Sokal, the executive director of the Richfield Playhouse, which I'm a blessed to be senior usher at, uh, you know, Lori barrister for a Olympian, Tucker West, aK diamond who you had on your a program recently. And some, it was just' em and u h, they include me m ay, b ut it's a, it's, it's, i t's, t hat's an incredible blessing and a never take any of it for granted.

Speaker 1: 11:29

Right, exactly. Never take anything for granted, anything like that for granted. So you moved to Florida at one point in your life. Tell me about that. Was that, was that hard?

Speaker 5: 11:37

Well, you know, in the beginning it was interesting. I mean, I mean, I moved there when I was a, I was 18 years old. I moved there in July of 2009. Uh, I went down there, cause, you know, we went, me and my family are going through a couple of, uh, difficult things. And, uh, we decided to, and our friends were very sweet. Give us a place down in, down in Vero beach. We had a nice little way and that's a little place, a with a swimming pool also. And we were there from, uh, July of 2009 to July of 2012 and we were the end in the beginning. Now it was, you know, and try and try to adjust to a whole bunch of things. You know, I, I'm sure from a having a, like having green Christmases constantly during December to, you know, just, um, just being out of a, like an area which John, like I'm, I'm an obese guy. You know, it's, uh, I mean I was born, raised in Tarrytown, New York for my first 13 years. And then, uh, I the, even that, even when I moved to Richfield, Connecticut, uh, it was, um, it wasn't too far. It's not too far away. I'm very happy and blessed cause I was like a half hour away. So like, um, I'm pretty close to, um, to everything. Yeah. And so, uh, but uh, so I was also being like in a whole like different States. It was very, um, it was, it was interesting, but uh, but then, uh, but then I, then I started that, I met my angel on Rainey who, uh, is my pastor, is a wife down there and I met our family and so many amazing, uh, friends who are part of, uh, their family. And then, um, and then low. And then low and behold, it's, um, it, uh, I mean everything just, um, it's just a beautifully blossomed from there.

Speaker 1: 13:08

Amazing. Now you just took a really cool trip and we all kind of live vicariously through Alex. I gotta be honest because he does these incredible things now. He just got back from I think a week, and he celebrated ed Asner, his 90th birthday. So just tell us a little bit about that. Well, 90, well, so ed, I was there,

Speaker 5: 13:29

well, I go back 10 years with'em. I was a, um, I've injured, I've had the boss say veggie feeling a lot of celebrity, uh, us celebrities, uh, via phone or in person. And, uh, ed was one of the guys who I had the blessing of, uh, talking to. Uh, and, uh, it was just around the time that, uh, up came out that he started that he a star is in, he's a, he plays call Fredrickson up and, and, uh, and also these know for a Mary Tyler Moore and, uh, Lou grant and, uh, Santa Claus and elephant, just somebody timeless classics, uh, you know, Eldorado, you know, just stuff that the list goes on. And I, and um, and he, um, and he, and he just one of the most sweetest, nicest, uh, guys. Uh, and we always had a very beautiful, uh, uh, but we've always had a very wonderful relationship with each other. And, uh, and I made a promise to myself that, given that, uh, it's the big nine now, like I have this thing with birthdays, whether it's the big three hour, the big five O or the big, uh, or whatever, whatever, like big, Oh, it is. Yeah. It's like a new decade of years and it's worth celebrating. So I try and especially like a big milestone like that, I mean, especially like it's close to the hundredth one. So, so I made a promise that, uh, if a big party, like ever took place from my buddy that, uh, that I would be there. And so, um, and so I flew down there. It was my first trip from JFK to lax on my own. I've been to Beverly Hills once, but, but I went with my father, but this is me like going for like the big major airports, JFK and lax on my own and back and yeah. And then I booked my first, and then I also booked my first ever hotel reservation. Um, I stayed at the Highwood Roosevelt for one night where the party took place and, uh, and it was, um, and it was, and that's, and it was just a fantastic, beautiful party that, um, all the big stars came out, you know, uh, Jackson Brown and Derrius Rutger and, uh, Steve locator from Toto performed. Uh, and, uh, there were big names like, you know, Tom Burj Rhonda, host of dancing with the stars was the emcee. And, um, it's a, it's a, it's interesting because you're like[inaudible] we're kind of like similar and then the, and then, yeah, then, yeah, everybody loves Raymond's, uh, Brad Garrett who love towers over, like, like literally like stands over. And I think I saw somebody amazing. Tigger. You're like, yo, Cloris Leachman, Mo Maria McCormick, uh, Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill. It was just that, it was just the most incredible blessing at a party, which I had a tremendous honor of, uh, being there for.

Speaker 1: 15:59

That's incredible. So this book, I love this book. Um, how long I'm writing a book. I mean, I know how hard it is. And so many times you just get this, you just start, you have writer's block. How long did it take you to write this book and, and what really, I mean I think it's incredible, but what, how, how'd you go? How was the process?

Speaker 5: 16:18

W w w while the, while the first draft was completed? Uh, very quickly. Uh, what it was very like it was, I would say like the first like draft was like, like a couple, like two, three day, like a big a, one of those people. Like if I want to get like an idea that I want to get it down like that. Like I don't want to like wait around. Like if I'm, like, if I know something like ebbs and flows for like, and for like a perfect length of book, I'd just go right ahead and bam, like right then and there. But the, but it took a, but it took a while because, you know, it was a, it's a, it's a children's, it's a, um, it's an inspirational illustrated book. I mean it's for kids, it's for, but it's for adults as well. It's for, I, I think that my book is a, it's a for everybody book. It's for, it's for, it's, it's for children looking for some, for a, somebody, a ho for a beat to beat some, for somebody to be inspired to look up to and uh, also for grown ups as well for somebody to look up to. And, uh, so I went through a couple of different illustrators, uh, and then I met my illustrator, uh, Cleo Miller who did all these beautiful watercolor, all the beautiful wallet, Kelly illustrations included. And she gave me some great ideas for the book and so on. And, uh, she was just instrumental in helping not bathed my book and the most beautiful of lights. And I can't say enough about the amazing contributions as you made to my book. And, uh, so by the time I'm, I think we officially got like put everything together by the end of, uh, 2017 and we officially like brought out two. Uh, we sell posts at the Amazon and a and T and January, 2018. And, uh, and then Lum and we've been off of Ryan since then. A few copies sold here, a few bunch of amazing signs there. On my next sign, my next signing it'll be at, uh, at Jesse Lee school. There'll be like a on a holiday, a shopping day this coming Thursday. So if anybody wants to come on by to see me, I will be there now. Can they order it on Amazon? Yes, they can. They can get the up the lonesome boy in the blonde haired angel lot the via paperback or RA Kendall and uh, and feel free to also leave a good review after you buy your a, your copy. I'm very blessed to have over a 33, five star reviews so far. And uh, it really is, I mean, people have just been so beautiful and gracious with their comments about the store, which really means so much to me because, uh, rainy, the main rainy means so much to me and I pray that the, the success will continue to grow for it.

Speaker 1: 18:47

I love this quote. It's in the book, it says, because of one person's kindness, encouragement and love, he has transformed from the lonesome boy to the social butterfly. And just like that special angel was there for Ernie, there's one waiting for you to.

Speaker 5: 19:01

Amen. So that and, and the angel could be anybody. It could be some, it could be somebody that, it could be somebody at home. It could be somebody that you meet at work. It could be somebody that you, uh, run into in town or in your local restaurant, or like randomly at an event you go to or wherever. You just have to keep your eyes open for that person. And, uh, and don't be afraid to open yourself up. So that's like, uh, they can make the connection with you and you can make the connection with them and, uh, beautiful things will blossom because of it.

Speaker 1: 19:29

Exactly. So I always love to get advice from the guests I have on the podcast. I always say they kind of leave the last word. If there's someone listening that has lived their life with Asperger's or know someone that has autism, what insight and words of encouragement would you give them? Because you are truly amazing.

Speaker 5: 19:46

Well, well, well, well, the advice I would give is, um, don't, don't be afraid to open yourself up to a, to, uh, to a, to people. Um, if you see somebody who you would love to engage in a conversation with, just go up and just like, um, just say hi to them. And, uh, Dolan, anything just hold you back. I mean, it's, um, I mean it's, um, I mean, I mean all, I mean, I mean every so often like, um, we, we all know, we all have our, we all have our imperfections, we all have our negatives. But, um, but you have to love, but you have to make the positives outweigh them. And you just send a and just know the end. Just be a just and just be grateful for like just where you're at and that there, there's always, there's always special somebody out there that you may not be aware of and uh, and just roll and just rely on the good faith that I'm all turn out to find and uh, and keep a positive mindset, you know, in the midst of, uh, I mean, goodness knows there's so many negativity around that these days, but as long as you keep your head in the positive light, uh, blessings will overflow.

Speaker 1: 20:44

Yeah. You're so right that, I mean, those are to live

Speaker 5: 20:48

by, I'll tell you one last thing before we go. Tell me about this YouTube channel because I didn't mention it and I want to make sure that people subscribe. Yeah. By just, I just kicked this off. It's a, it's called Alex the Asper again, a ass Burgee and spelled S. P. E. R. G. I. A. N. a, another, a little little spin on the word a Asbergers and basically it's a channel bunch. I gall that I just like have slices of life, you know, videos of what I do. You know, like my thoughts on things and uh, you know, like, um, like the layers that come down, like how I feel about, you know, you know, dealing with anxiety, dealing with autism, you know, like, uh, where I work, you know, uh, maybe and hopefully maybe, um, maybe and, uh, also hoping to, I'm hoping to do, um, interviews with friends. Maybe I can like a w like people where I work, uh, maybe a few famous, uh, interviews as well. And, uh, so I hope everybody will subscribe to Alex and gas Bergin on YouTube. I helped add to endeavor, which I'm really excited to, uh, to pursue. And I'm, I'm up to a 70 subscribers hoping I get to a hundred and then hoping to get to the magic number, which is a thousand. And it's off to a bot to a good start so far. Thank you so much, Alex. Thank you, Amy. We'll be in touch then. Absolutely.

Speaker 3: 22:09

[inaudible].