Think about this for a moment. How would you react if your mom comes to you for online dating advice? More divorced and widowed baby boomers are using online dating sites, and today's episode digs into those conversations, when the roles are reversed and it's your mom or dad who is heading out into the dating world. What to do...and what not to do. My conversation with Kristen Jensen is insightful, and it will make you think about this in a whole different way. Kristen is a Lifestyle Photographer, who has traveled the world as a model. She's always been in front of the camera - but she talks about what is was like when that shifted, and she was behind the camera. She talks openly and honestly about navigating the online dating world with her 79-year-old mom, and shares her experiences with online dating by helping her mom with her online profile, and making sure that she is armed with the tools to take on this challenge with confidence.
Kristen Jensen owner of Kristen Jensen Productions, LLC. Is a lifestyle content
creator, videographer, photographer and former ambassador for Panasonic
LUMIX cameras, who brings an enlightened and gracious style to her
advertising magazine, portrait, video and keynote speaking presentations. She specializes in portraits of celebrities, artists and business professionals, and has photographed
Chazz Palminteri, Demi Moore, Arianna Huffington, Joseph Abboud, Mary
Travers, Harvey Fierstein, Michael Bolton, Harry Connick Jr., Vanessa
Williams, Ira Joe Fisher as well hundred’s of CEOs and Entrepreneurs.
Here is Kristen's link - she works all over the country with clients and would love to meet you.
https://kristenjensen.com/
Link to Instacart
https://www.instacart.com/?ko_click_id=ko_855b5e27634c15934&utm_source=instacart_impactradius&utm_campaign=ad_demand_retargeting&utm_medium=affiliate
Link to Pinklotus - Menopause Miracle (daily vitamin)
https://pinklotus.com/elements?r=74
Think about this for a moment. How would you react if your mom comes to you for online dating advice? More divorced and widowed baby boomers are using online dating sites, and today's episode digs into those conversations, when the roles are reversed and it's your mom or dad who is heading out into the dating world. What to do...and what not to do. My conversation with Kristen Jensen is insightful, and it will make you think about this in a whole different way. Kristen is a Lifestyle Photographer, who has traveled the world as a model. She's always been in front of the camera - but she talks about what is was like when that shifted, and she was behind the camera. She talks openly and honestly about navigating the online dating world with her 79-year-old mom, and shares her experiences with online dating by helping her mom with her online profile, and making sure that she is armed with the tools to take on this challenge with confidence.
Kristen Jensen owner of Kristen Jensen Productions, LLC. Is a lifestyle content
creator, videographer, photographer and former ambassador for Panasonic
LUMIX cameras, who brings an enlightened and gracious style to her
advertising magazine, portrait, video and keynote speaking presentations. She specializes in portraits of celebrities, artists and business professionals, and has photographed
Chazz Palminteri, Demi Moore, Arianna Huffington, Joseph Abboud, Mary
Travers, Harvey Fierstein, Michael Bolton, Harry Connick Jr., Vanessa
Williams, Ira Joe Fisher as well hundred’s of CEOs and Entrepreneurs.
Here is Kristen's link - she works all over the country with clients and would love to meet you.
https://kristenjensen.com/
Link to Instacart
https://www.instacart.com/?ko_click_id=ko_855b5e27634c15934&utm_source=instacart_impactradius&utm_campaign=ad_demand_retargeting&utm_medium=affiliate
Link to Pinklotus - Menopause Miracle (daily vitamin)
https://pinklotus.com/elements?r=74
spk_0: 0:01
Hey there. I'm Amy. And welcome to the broadcast. Fearlessly facing 50. This podcast is about conversations and connections. And my mission is to encourage women over 40 to live their best life. You
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know what, ladies? We haven't peaked yet and we are just getting started. So if you're ready for some real talk with real people and real conversations about what really matters you found the
spk_0: 0:30
right place. I'm ready. Are you ready? Let's get started. Let's get riel. Hey there. I'm Amy and welcome to fearlessly facing 50. Okay, now I know that Inpex Itani, Pennsylvania Coming up in a couple of days It is going to be the official ground hog day. I feel like I do that every week on this podcast. Every single week gets better and better. It's like the same thing because it's so exciting. I know it sounds crazy, right, But I do wonder if he's going to see a shadow or not. So I die aggress. But let's think about something for a minute because today's podcast is something that is going to make you think so. My guest I have today is somebody that is so interesting and is a personal friend of mine. And when we were talking about what to talk about, we were peeling back the layers, and all of a sudden this particular topic came up, and I know it's going to resonate with a lot of listeners. Online dating can be daunting, right? Let's be honest. It's could be scary. It could be just downright intimidating. Now flip the lens. Let's look at navigating online, dating for your mom or for your dad. Yeah, now that's mind blowing, right? Is that possible? Oh, it is so possible. And there are so many great resource is tips. What not to do, What to do that we're going to hear about today. Kristen is navigating this process with her 79 year old mom. Yeah, think about that. Isn't that crazy when all of a sudden the rules are reversed? I'm so pleased to have Christian here for so many reasons because she is just a wonderful person inside and out, and the knowledge and insight that she can share on so many topics is great. That's why I'm sure she'll be on another episode. Kristen is a lifestyle photographer. I've had the pleasure of being one of her clients. And for me, who doesn't particularly love to be, have their picture taken. I don't mind it. It was a whole lot of fun. It was exhilarating and exhausting, like I'll say when I asked Kristin about it in a few minutes. But it's unbelievable how Kristen can take your picture and turn it into stories. It's It's phenomenal. So I'm so pleased to have her here today. She has basically been everywhere, man. I mean, she has been a professional model with the Ford agency. And then she turned that around and followed her passion and now is behind the camera she has photographed Demi Moore, Arianna Huffington. Just if Abboud Michael Bolton, Harry Connick Jr. Whoa, I gotta talk to you about that one. So many people and CEOs and entrepreneurs and you name it. So I'm so pleased to have her here today. So I'm gonna turn the show over to Kristen, and we are going to find out how to navigate online dating for your parents. Grab your glass of wine, your cup of coffee. Go take the dog for a walk and enjoy the show. Today I am so pleased to have Kristen Jensen as my guest. Kristen is inspiring and so many ways, and her story includes traveling the world as a professional model, which inspired her to follow her passion of sharing stories through her professional photography business. It's been an incredible journey for Kristen, and through it all, I'm pleased to know her. So she's a personal friend, and it's It's just been amazing just to get to know her. But she takes on every challenge and opportunity with grace and elegance so welcome. Thank you,
spk_1: 4:53
Amy. I'm so happy to be
spk_0: 4:54
here. I'm so happy to have you here. Um, you know, let's talk a little bit about your background, because when you think of modeling, I think for women listening, they think, Oh, my gosh, that must be exhausting. Exhilarating. Um, walk me through that. I mean, you did this. When did you start modeling? I started
spk_1: 5:13
modeling when I was 18. I'm a California girl like a rep in San Francisco, were in the outskirts of the city and was discovered by an agent. Uh, that was scouting models from Paris, so I went to Paris to go do the shows. The collections better only a couple weeks along, and I basically never came home. Wow. Yeah, I just It just one thing led to another. I did some shows, although I wasn't really graceful on the runway. And I was petrified. Yeah, I lost my shoe. Harris. I lost my shoe low as my top once. I mean, you know, you just got to pick up, keep water to Janet Jackson. It was like, you know, they're good. They're good company. Exactly. Exactly. But, um, it was really, uh it was one of those kind of things that just one thing led to another and I started doing a lot of print. I worked for magazines and I did some advertising, but I really got on to doing a lot of catalogs, which people probably think. Oh, yeah, catalogs. That must be the easiest thing to get. It's actually one of the harder things to do. Yeah, but it's it's steady money, right? It's amazing travel and travel to all these countries and saw so many things and worked with fabulous photographers which actually help me hone in my skills as a photographer learned along the way videographer today by just working with great directors and photographer. So it was a It was an amazing experience. It was a lot of fun. I met great people. I kind of miss those days of traveling. I read a lot more because I was on a plane a lot. So that was really good. Yeah. Uh, and I just I kind of miss getting away like that. And yeah, the spontaneity is it. Exactly. Exactly. And we went to great places and then when I when I had time, I took a few days off, and we'll go get lower explore like my cousin and judge. I went, went to Cairo and saw the pyramids and then went credible, went and caught a plane and then went to the next assigned me.
spk_0: 7:12
Sometimes when you say it, don't you just look back and think? I can't believe I did that. I know
spk_1: 7:17
it's one of those things. Just e was very blessed. I, uh, grew up. It's, you know, super insecure and didn't think I was pretty. Didn't think I could be photographed. Didn't think I was photogenic. But the first time I saw the pictures, I was like, Oh, that's me. You know, s O It took about 10 years into my career to realize, like, I guess I'm pretty good at this and it just kept going. So I reinvented myself and I cut my hair. I did this, Yeah, to go with the sub's constantly marketing myself and reinvented yourself. Rena, can we do that as well? Didn't we do it constantly? You Do. You have to just regroup and reinvented.
spk_0: 7:57
Yep, you d'oh! And every piece of the puzzle fits together along this journey. You know, it's just amazing. All of these pieces of this journey of modeling and everything has all brought you to where you are today. Exactly. So we're going to dig deep into that in another episode with Kristen, because, you know, that whole idea of modeling at a national international level is just mind boggling. And when you listen, I think so many women tend to prejudge and think, Oh, that was the life. I mean, how easy was that? But you know, when you really dig into it and when you hear Kristin's story it it's grueling work. It's exhausting, and I'm sure it's lonely at sometimes. Oh, for sure, your
spk_1: 8:37
hotels and you're not out at night parting. Ryan, you have to get up early and you have to look good and yeah, I mean, it's all about what you look like. And I have That's where I would really changed for me was a big game changers when I got on the other side of the camera, Exactly. I had a voice and I had something to say. And what I said made a difference. So when people ask me what he did, you like better, Would you like better? Do you like being photographed or photographing? Right. And I have to say that I love being behind the camera. Yeah, sharing people, you tell stories, photos, photos and video.
spk_0: 9:10
You feel more confident being on the other side. Do you think the other side
spk_1: 9:15
I d'oh. I mean, I still, you know, I had a modeling job last year, actually got a job. You say my fifties and get a modeling job because the the advertisers will hire 30 year olds to market to 50 years. So I got a modeling job. I was like, so excited, and it was so great. But they're few and far between for people in our age. group rights just doesn't happen.
spk_0: 9:39
Yeah, Yeah, that's fantastic, though. And using your gifts as you go forward, I will ask you one question before we turn onto the other part of this episode which we're really gonna dig into. Duty bags really work on puffy eyes? I don't know. Did Everybody wants
spk_1: 9:54
to know. You know, I never did the teabag. You didn't know? No. The cucumbers, like cucumbers work? Yes. And does it
spk_0: 10:00
work in your water to like it's
spk_1: 10:01
boat? I totally put in my wife. See, that is the best. That's the best way right
spk_0: 10:06
there. Yes, perfect. Well, Kristin
spk_1: 10:09
and I are friends. And when we talked about, you know,
spk_0: 10:12
doing an episode, we thought about so many different topics and one that Kristen is passionate about and has talked the talk and walk the walk herself and now has navigated with this with her mom is online dating. When all of a sudden your mom is the one that is back in the dating world. So wow, Yes, that's like a stop in your tracks Moment, right?
spk_1: 10:38
It is. It's it's It's been Absolutely. I mean, honestly, it's been so much fun. Yeah, it has been a lot of fun,
spk_0: 10:46
I bet. Challenging right. Challenging
spk_1: 10:50
Because I think because I had to really give her a lot of dating tips because my mother never dated. My mother's been married, her whole. You've got married when she was 18 and pretty much married her whole adult life until five years ago when her husband not my father, but her husband passed away. And all of a sudden she's like, What now what? Now what do I do? I'm a fish out of water. Yeah, and
spk_0: 11:16
they're searching for companionship. Right, Companion. Right. Well, yeah, we'll get Yeah, she's searching for a
spk_1: 11:25
companion. She? Yeah, let's put it that she that is searching for companionship. A lot of men, right? Are not
spk_0: 11:33
really Yes. Wow. Yeah. Now there's another moment where you just think they've got one thing on their mind and
spk_1: 11:39
that is it Pretty much one thing, and I just think I know it sounds very cliche and yeah, but I I think men I think this way I have a son. I mean, yeah, right. You know, I've got to wait. Guys, we're different. Yeah, well, it's every commercial on TV. They're erectile. dysfunction. It's everything show. Probably Papa Bear pill and you're in. I mean, that's it. There you go.
spk_0: 12:07
That's exactly exactly. But that's got to be hard. So let's go back to the conversation. So was it you that brought it up to your mom, or did your mom say, Hey, Kristin, you know what? Let's do this match dot com or her e harmony or whatever. You know,
spk_1: 12:22
I've I did my own online dating, so I yes, I lived it. I lived it and I tried it. I would try it for, like, three or four days, and then I would freak out. Really? Yeah. And just because pot it was just is so many people, It's a big, huge web, and you don't know who's who. And scary is scary. You have to be really careful. I think when you're when you're dating. But I actually met the love of my life online. So I am. You know what I mean? Testimony of saying You know what this works? I don't go to bars, I'm rocking it. Where else am I gonna meet someone at a gym, right, Right. You know, on the job. Not exactly. So I mean, it is for people that are middle aged or older. It's a great place to meet people.
spk_0: 13:09
That's good to hear. Yeah, reinforcement. Because sometimes you feel like, Oh, you feel goofy doing it or you think, What am I gonna put in my profile? So walk me through that. What did you do for the well, You took pictures? I bet
spk_1: 13:20
I did. I did. So? So we did a photo shoot. A lifestyle photo shoot. Meaning that the pictures look really natural, but right. Amazing. Yeah. Just such a beautiful woman. She is gorgeous, but not overly outgoing. No, no, as
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really an actual. She's more of an
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introvert, even though she might act like an extroverts sometimes. But she is more of an introvert. So it was, you know, Was that a challenge? It was a challenge just to say, Let's put yourself out there and see what happens. And I think the challenging part is that as our parents age, we become the parent around the roles reversed. Isn't that crazy? Yes, I
spk_0: 13:59
think about that in so many ways. Yeah, it really is true.
spk_1: 14:02
Yeah. So I had to kind of and she's never dated. Right? So there's some rules,
spk_0: 14:09
but she's like a kid in a candy store in somewhere kind of. Wow. Look at this. Wow. This guy's looking at these. A man gay. I got, like, she hosted it. You mean you did that?
spk_1: 14:17
I did the pictures, and she looks amazing. And yeah, of course you have all different ages.
spk_0: 14:22
Did she put her age on the problem? No, we fibbed. Well,
spk_1: 14:26
guys lie about their high, exactly. Known in light wanted way lie. And then we don't want to be 50 years. Right. So So you fib a little bit. Yeah. Just because it's just you get cut off, you don't have the bracket. But, you know, she liked guys that were my age. The look establishment, like this guy looks good. I get Mom, He's my age. I don't think so. I don't Look, it's no. Yeah, let's get Really? Let's get down. I don't know about this s o. So she put you calibrate my mom? Yeah. So my mom's 78 I said, let's just do 70 to 80. Yeah, right. Let's try that. And there
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are that many people out there. I know what
spk_1: 15:07
I mean? I shouldn't
spk_0: 15:08
say that that it's shocking because people are living longer, healthier
spk_1: 15:11
and thousands and thousands. There's men that lose their wives. Sure. So there's a lot of young guys like that. There's people that had divorce is late in life with great divorces. Yeah, that coming up s o that happens. People live longer. I know. So it's and again they have to reinvent themselves at that age in the seventies and eighties and and prepare themselves, and they don't want to be alone. I mean, most of us don't you know? I mean, we're all really looking for love, right?
spk_0: 15:42
You're looking for love, looking for community? Absolutely. You don't want to lose that? No. So did you put demographic? You know, parameters.
spk_1: 15:50
We did. We did. We? Did. We tell that 1000? Yeah. Yeah, we quit 50 miles, but a lot of the older guys this'll was different than the guys that are middle aged. When I was doing it, I don't want to drive or they don't drive at night, right? Like my mother doesn't drive it. Right? So that kind of limits. Okay, then we have lung warning, brunch or lunch for afternoon tea, and a lot of them didn't want to drive that far and drive to the town where she was located in because it's just too too much of a commitment for them. So I just said, You just say next. You're just saying that you have to say next. Thank you know, But there is,
spk_0: 16:28
like, a
spk_1: 16:28
protocol that I advised for her. Any of my girlfriends, right? Guy? Friends they're at their dating is to do a little bit of vetting.
spk_0: 16:37
Okay, let's hear about you. Yeah. What should we D'oh? Well, what should you do if you're listening right now, on your mom is or your dad's gonna be online dating. What are the two Deuce?
spk_1: 16:46
I I think you don't need to really in your user name or your handle or we're not using online. It doesn't really need to be youthful. Definitely not your full name. And it doesn't even need to be your first name. And it could be a code name. Um and also, it's not super important to put the exact town down. You can put the location, maybe to the next town over. I'm just saying You know what happens, and we all know this and we do it. How many times a day do we Google? Yes, people all the time. Places, Yes. And it's so easy to find out about somebody just Googling in one second. And if you give out your phone number online right, you can just google your phone number and find out every single thing about years. Yes, Joe, What I always said was, if you get a dialogue going through an e mail online within the site, not offline in the site to flush out some questions, you know Cem some key questions on some of the qualities and the type of person that you want, like what's would devalue what's important to you. What's fun would you do for fun? Yeah, just some basic things. If you feel like there's some synergy and there's something going on, then maybe take it to the next level and do the phone call. Yeah, okay, because a voice you can tell a lot by yeah, exactly at you a little bit closer. But I do recommend that you block your number when you call and ask for ladies. This is for my lady friends and elderly ladies block your number. I can't remember. I think it's star 67. I don't know, but Googling Google is exactly But you block you. So what you say is, Hey, I'm gonna call you between one and two er on Thursday, and it's gonna be a block number. And the reason it's blocked is that I'm really shy and I'm new at this and blah, blah, blah and being transparent being on a 90% of the men are going to say that's fine, But I look forward to your call, right? 10% are going to say that's B s and I'm not gonna do. And you can just say very, you know,
spk_0: 18:54
Thank you. Not next. Yep, Yep, Yep. Isn't that Ariana Grande?
spk_1: 18:58
Thank thank you. Next s Oh, um, that's pretty much what she started doing. And then you get a phone dialogue going if and if you click on the phone, You know, sometimes you can get on the phone and you talk about someone for an hour and it just float. It's loves. And then you say, Let's meet. Now when you meet. Yeah, I advise that you meet for coffee. Good idea. And you have his coffee shop? Yeah. 15 to 30 minute. That's set to Max. That's all you have. Like, I have to run to another meeting. I have to do this because you know I'm busy. Everything could be great on the phone. Yes. I mean, I talked to somebody on the phone for a while, and then I met him, and yeah, I'm within 2/10 of a second, right? Done. There was nothing going on, right? I don't think he even liked girls. I mean, I don't even know what it was like. It was just like, Oh, my gosh. How could this have that This happened when I
spk_0: 19:54
talked to him? Yes. And you have to remain in a position of power in everything as women, you know. But in online dating like this, you have to position yourself that right? And
spk_1: 20:05
the thing is, is if there is chemistry, right, spiritually emotional, whatever it may be, then great. Right. Go out for dinner that night. You go out for dinner the next night, you know, make it more of a real day. But I think the initial meeting should be kind of brief and to the point it is. It is kind of calculating the way I'm saying, and it probably doesn't sound very romantic. Yeah, but it's real life, but it's real life. And it's it's really a way that I navigated the waters of online dating that You recommended this for my mom,
spk_0: 20:37
right? Exactly. Which is so wonderful. So did you follow her, like, 2 to 5? I have the school bus When my kids were in kindergarten. Yeah. You Deac. I wanted to do that
spk_1: 20:46
right. I know I am tempted to do that because there's a favorite restaurant that we go to, And I know that she would have lunch there right with them. So we just have the menu up. One day. One day she will want one thing. You know, she I went out for lunch. The guy likes her. You guys want to go for a drive? Let's just go for a drive. She hopped in his car. Now I don't know, is she doesn't know his first and last name. That's another thing. Get there first and last name on the phone interview. Oh, yeah. Good idea. Yeah, right. Yeah, it
spk_0: 21:15
sounds simple, but when you're doing it has like, oh, what's what's your
spk_1: 21:18
last name? And you know, because I did that when I met Tom, right? And we actually I googled him and found somebody on Lengthen that knew him. So I called her up. Exactly. Said you re sources. Who is this guy? Oh, he's a great guy, but so, Hey, it all helps. You know how it'll help now. Just put my mother. My mother went for the ride in the car and she decided that she was going to show him where I lived and where this Woz know where she goes. And all of a sudden, were you home? I was home because I have this window wraparound window in a long driveway and I saw a black Mercedes pulling into the driveway and I'm like, Oh, my God, Oh, it's not really happening. Yes, it
spk_0: 21:58
is. There she is. She's
spk_1: 22:00
in the car with him and they're just cruising is a loop driveway. They just cruise through. And she's just, you know, laughing it up and having a good time,
spk_0: 22:09
which is all, which is all good.
spk_1: 22:11
It is so many ways, but on
spk_0: 22:13
the other hand, you don't know. You just don't know. So what happened then? Did they come in?
spk_1: 22:17
No, no, no, no, no. I would have been, like it would've been really uncomfortable. No, no, they just spent out, and I don't think anything ever became of it. But that's just it's just you have to be really cautious, and at the same time, you have to be brave enough to go out there and do it. It is being brave. It is. It takes a lot of
spk_0: 22:38
crazy. Yeah, Yeah, I applaud her for that. What about carrying her phone? I mean, you know, does your mom have a phone and okay, my mother has a phone, right? Like an I found
spk_1: 22:48
just like a better iPhone than ideo. I don't even know how to use a new one. I'm like, how do you get to the home button? But, uh, she forgets her phone. Yeah, and sometimes she leaves her phone at home, or she'll leave her handbag at home and just carry her keys out and run a zit. Mont. The phone has to be with you at all times. It just has to be this used to life. No matter where we are way go out shopping together or I run in somewhere. She's in the car where I said we bring our phones.
spk_0: 23:17
Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Big. Because then you can kind of Well, you can always reach her, right. Or you've got that 360 tracking or whatever if you really wanted to know where she was
spk_1: 23:28
Well, I have tried that. But then it accidentally somehow got turned off. Oh, interesting. I did. I like the tracker. Yeah, I did.
spk_0: 23:36
There is something to that.
spk_1: 23:37
Well, there is something I think for families. Just Yes, definitely. I think it's kind of cool.
spk_0: 23:42
So were there times when she would come home from a date and just want to, like, call you right away or come over and grab a glass of wine on the couch and tell you about it. There is.
spk_1: 23:51
There's been times when she's Oh, my gosh, I met this guy. He's this he's that he's tall. He's hands. He is that And then it be like, you know, yeah, a week later. Well, not not so sure. Yeah. I don't really you know, so right? Sometimes it was, like, really quick. He have to take your time. You have to go really slow and really get to know the person. And it does take time and dating. It's tough like that. I will say to their girlfriends, You're either dumping someone right or you're getting dumped. Yeah, and you're putting yourself out there. So you have hunted and it's the hard on either 10 you're getting dumped or you're dumping someone is it takes energy. So you have to be, um, persistent. And I really think it's important to visualize that, you know, for the single people out there that are really craving that they want to be with somebody right and have that kind of love in their life is too, You know, we can manifest things. So it's really to get clear about your intention, right? What type of values you want in the person? Yeah. You know, the clearer you are right about really anything in life. The very truth things things will come to you. Yeah. So, yeah, you don't need to settle. Know that. And that's one thing I say. Don't settle down, Settle. Yeah, right. Like I think that with my mother part of it and this could happen with other people too. In her age bracket or not, her age bracket and hate me in our fifties who Who knows that we think we need a man right to take care of us, right? Right. And we think if we don't have that, that everything, the world's gonna fall apart. And so I've really reassured her and said, Mom, you don't have to do this. This is not like do this if you want to do it. Uh, that's wonderful. You know, you're always gonna be taken care of and everything's gonna be fine. So to come out of a place of fear for dating is probably not a good space. It's good too. Probably evaluate that before you go online and really look at that and say, Wow, am I doing this out of fear? Because I'm afraid of being alone? Right? Or do I really want companionship? And what are the qualities? What are
spk_0: 26:05
the qualities? Yeah. Have you seen a renewed confidence? Oh, definitely. I bet.
spk_1: 26:11
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's She's definitely built up her her dating skills. She's getting out there instead of coming. Know exactly what to dio, right? Yeah. Yeah, well, you just spring right now. She's She's not dating. Okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can only do so much, right? You can only do so much, but you have to kind of get pumped up. But I think spring, You know, Valentine's day happens and then springs around the corner, right? And it's time to start kind of thinking about it again and trying
spk_0: 26:43
it. It's amazing. So for people listening, you know, you can't It's just such a different thing when you think about it cause you know your mom in a certain way and that really changes. Because all of us, you know, you didn't know what it was like when she was dating your dad. You never had those conversations. So now you're you know you're having that, and she's looking to you and you're looking to her for certain things. It's really it's amazing thing. It iss it really is. And I think this will be so valuable for people that are listening because I'm sure they're women that are hesitant to take that. Whether they are, you're navigating this for yourself or for your mom or for a friend. I mean, I know that takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there.
spk_1: 27:21
Oh, totally does. I mean, most people, I'm in the business of creating content for people and showing people in their best light. But honestly, most people don't like being photographed little loan, having their photographs plaster out on social media or some website where other pregnant can see them. But without the pictures, honestly, yeah, it's it's not worth it. So there's people, you know, like when I was dating online, if a guy was on there and I read his bio and it sounds great, but there's not a picture, it's like, What are you hiding from right? You know, So you have made the picture. You've got to put yourself out there. But like I said, there's certain precautions you can take, uh, just to protect yourself and just have more clarity. We're moving forward with dating.
spk_0: 28:08
Yeah, exactly. Well, that's perfect. That's great advice, what to do, what not to do and just kind of how to navigate that. Um, one thing I always ask my guests is a question. I'd love to hear your answer on this thinking back. So at 30 remodeling What advice would you give your 30 year old self? Gosh,
spk_1: 28:28
that's a great question. I think that I would say to myself, Kristen, you can do everything. I think I lacked confidence. Then really? Yeah. Yeah. You know, I just still lacked confidence in that. Just go for the higher thought. Don't Don't let other people ruin your dreams, right? That's probably the advice I would do, you know, because we listen to other people and right, we're so you know, we're like sponges and we get in and and also just surround yourself with positive, successful and happy, powerful people. That failure kind that will that will. It'll rub off on you. You'll become, you'll think that way. So probably just, you know, probably give myself a good kick in the butt and say, Just get some more confidence, Get
spk_0: 29:22
more confidence. Yeah, it's a hard thing for everybody. Yeah, for everybody, you know, You So you have this wonderful business and I was able to use Kristen and utilize her her just heard her business. Her sense of putting together a story for me and I don't particularly love. I can talk to anybody, but I'll tell you when I look at my pictures. You know, we are worse critics, aren't we?
spk_1: 29:44
Oh, it's just brutal. Why? I don't know what it is, especially women. And, you know, I been photographing men and women for 17 years now on a on a whole, right? I'm just saying, Like an average men typically are much more confident than women, right? Right. Not as worried about their looks. In fact, I photographed two men yesterday. It was so easy. I mean, there's no hair and makeup. There's no this they're not worried about if they have a pouch or not. I mean, they feel foxy, you know, feels like and then I have women come and they're like, I didn't do this. I have to die. I have this eye right yet constantly, you know? And I hate having my picture taken. This is the worst thing that it's not, You know, we're not doing root canal here, right? I mean, this right? This is okay, but I I would just say you know what this is This is it We live in the were in the present moment. Think this is our life and you have to take advantage of it. This the best you look is that we're only gonna get older folks. I mean, right, this is it. So you have to kind of seize the moment.
spk_0: 30:50
Yeah, I agree. And you're so good at that. You make people very comfortable. Thank you. You know, which is a gift, because not everybody does. I mean, I remember going to J c. Penny. I think you have the kids where I wanted to be with family orchard in there, have a feather or something, trying to make them laugh. And we all were looking different ways. You create this atmosphere of comfort. Um, You do that with your mom with navigating this whole process. You do this with your friends, you do this in your business, and that's a gift. So I applaud you for that. Thank you. That's really, really great stuff. Um, so your business, you'll go anywhere, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All of Tuscany? Yeah.
spk_1: 31:29
Anywhere. Paris. Yeah. Harris, my favorite city.
spk_0: 31:33
I'll attach all of the, you know, your website and details on the episode notes, but is there anything I miss that you wanted to go talk about our, um I would
spk_1: 31:44
just say that anybody that's out there listening and it's, you know, where the main topic today was on dating and write. And seriously, if you are thinking about it, I mean, online dating shouldn't be a scary right. Spooky process is daunting. And is, yeah, probably out of your comfort zone. But if I think if you practice these these techniques and you get story pointers, yeah, just these kind of pointers have just protecting yourself and your name and your phone number and all those you know, until you get to know the person. Uh, I think you'll be fine. I mean, you can really have fun with it. And I met. I met people before he met
spk_0: 32:24
Tom. That became my clients. Yeah. So I met a really A
spk_1: 32:28
lot of nice guys, you know, maybe they weren't the right now why they want a person. But they were friends. Yeah, And some, Like I said, some became even clients, so, yeah, I mean, that's wonder. You don't have really anything to lose,
spk_0: 32:41
but the fear aside, do it. And if you're listening, um, you know, and you're thinking about your mom or your dad. Let them Listen to this podcast because I think it's another way of just, you know, sharing information for them to hear the message and say, Hey, all right. I think I can try this. Yes. Oh, I appreciate that. So thanks so much, Chris. And I look forward to having you back. Oh, thank you. Now, that was an interesting show, wasn't it? When I think back to the messages that Kristen had not only about online dating, but just about women and self image in confidence in general. One thing I want you to think about this week before we end the podcast is this whole concept of a self love. I know. It seems crazy, doesn't it? Sometimes women think of self love is being too boastful, like you can't look in the mirror and say, Damn, I look at today or wow, I am rocking this outfit. You know, we just doesn't come natural. I guess it doesn't come natural for us to do that as women, I applaud the women that could do that. Man, that is, that is awesome and exudes confidence. And, you know, I have self care. Montrose and mottoes pasted all around my house on my bathroom mirror. I have one in my handbag and I have one in the car because I spend a lot of time in the car. They're just some things from you to reflect on to give myself some love. So that's my challenge to you. This week, I didn't a piece. I guess it was on socials yesterday about the pallet on company and the instructors appellate on and how they are so focused on self love. And they are so motivating. And it is amazing and cool and not selfish and not boastful. It's rock star Alex Tucson is one of the many instructors that are amazing at Palate on. I don't have a bike myself. I'm intrigued by the whole concept of the company, the company itself and just this whole enthusiasm that these instructors, you know, they just they're just spreading it. It's contagious, and Alex Tucson is known as you know, getting up and being like, Damn, I look good today and there's nothing wrong with that. I encourage you to come up with a mantra mantra. Amato. She believed she could, so she did. That's one that floats around the Internet all the time. I think of something specific for you. Don't judge it. Just write it down. Doesn't have to be perfect. Nobody's looking at it except for you and reflect on that every day. And I would love to hear from you what you came up with for yourself. Love motto. Shoot me an email Amy at fearlessly facing 50 dot com 50 is spelled out. I would love to hear yourself left Motto. And you know what? It's spreads. It's contagious. It's a pretty amazing thing. So until next time, go forth and be awesome and don't forget to love yourself.