Fearlessly Facing Fifty And Beyond

EP211:Crafting Your Fearless Story: Lisa Loyet-Schmitz on Writing and Life

• Amy Schmidt

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Fearlessly Facing......starting something new and outside of your comfort zone.

My guest today is Lisa Loyet-Schmitz. Lisa shares her journey of contributing to the anthology "Living Well with Grit," discovering that every woman's story is special precisely because it is uniquely hers. Through vulnerability and authenticity, Lisa found writing about her life experiences to be surprisingly therapeutic, helping her recognize patterns and growth that shaped her present self.

• Overcoming the belief that her story wasn't "special enough" to share
• Finding the courage to write authentically about personal experiences
• The concept of being "Too Young to Be Beige" – losing yourself trying to please everyone
• Learning to set boundaries and say "no" to maintain balance
• The importance of mentors and expressing gratitude to those who've helped us
• Building community through shared vulnerability and storytelling
• Embracing life's curveballs with resilience
• Finding strength through allowing others to help during difficult times

Find "Living Well with Grit" on Amazon. The book features chapters from 37 women sharing their unique stories of growth, resilience, intention, and tenacity.


Ready to FEARLESSLY FACE all the F WORDS – be inspired and encouraged?

Get a copy of Amy’s Best selling book: CANNONBALL! FEARLESSLY Facing Midlife and Beyond here

Fearlessly Facing Fifty and Beyond has over 200 episodes with inspiration and stories to age fearlessly and connect confidently to others thriving at midlife and beyond.

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Speaker 1:

Hey, fearless friends. Well, it is Amy, and I am super excited to you know, I say that every time, super excited, but it is true I am super excited to one be back with the show, but also just to be bringing you some really interesting stories of incredible people that, you know, kind of go outside their comfort zone. Maybe they do something that they never thought they'd do and they create these cannonball moments. You know, they make this splash in different aspects of their life, no matter where they are in their journey. You know, and we fearlessly face so many things, and one of the things I talk about a lot on the show is the fact that we fearlessly face a lot of these F-words, whether it's our faith, our future, our fitness, our families, our friendship. You know, whatever it is, there's a lot of F-words that we need to kind of just keep going through as we age.

Speaker 1:

Today's guest I'm really excited about because Lisa Loyett-Schmitz is a friend, not only on the business side but also I really consider Lisa a friend personally. She's kind of gotten to know me, peeled back the layers a little bit, seen some of the facets of my journey and has always been an encourager, and I appreciate that. So, Lisa, I don't know how long has it been, it's been several years, right. Mm. Hmm, Definitely. I mean I don't know how long has it been, it's been several years, right? Several, definitely, I mean I don't think we've aged a bit. What do you think?

Speaker 2:

Not at all. Maybe we're getting younger, not older, right I?

Speaker 1:

think we're like that Benjamin button right that ages backwards and I have to say we're here in this beautiful studio in Sarasota Lisa's in St Louis, at a Balmy.

Speaker 2:

She in St Louis at a Balmy. She said five degrees right Right around there. I'm inside, so I'm just looking at it out the window and thinking I want to stay inside, it's all good, it's all good.

Speaker 1:

And we started recording and I got to be completely transparent on this stuff because, if you know me, I'm very authentic about things. I have a kid who's studying abroad and my phone who only the phone was on silent, but if there's an emergency that comes up, it can break through, and that ringtone came up and I said I had to cut.

Speaker 2:

So, lisa, thanks for being patient here and and restarting with me today as a mother, I exactly would have done the same thing I get it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you got to do it. It's one of those things I always pick up the phone, so let's talk a little bit. Lisa, you have a really diverse background and a really cool journey and most recently, lisa has put together a book. She's a story from an organization, I guess, that we call GRIT, which I love because I think GRIT is such a powerful word. But let's talk about this latest adventure for you, and that is really putting pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard and writing a book.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. So this is a new experience for me, for sure, and it did come about through a work connection with shoes, and that's how you and I actually met was through my job with shoes. But I always find that that's just always the door opener in many cases, and you find out so much about people through those experiences. If you're looking, you know you have to be open to it, and what I found out when I was introduced to Jennifer Bardot, who is the person who is compiling the books and the one that I'm in the most recent one, that just with grit, which is growth, resilience, intention and tenacity Wow, four big words, yes, and it really caught on. And so, once she got done with her acronym, she still had women that she found had stories to tell, and I think we oftentimes find that we gain our strength with talking to other women, listening to other women, pulling upon their experiences and realizing.

Speaker 2:

What I found when I was approached to write this chapter was that I didn't think I had anything special to talk about. You know, I've had experience that other people have had. What was special about mine that I realized didn't need to be special? Maybe just somebody realizing that more than one person goes through things in their own manner, and it's how we deal with them, and so what made my story special is that it's mine and that if anybody gains one thing out of what I've shared, then it made it worth it, but it was also a very big personal growth experience for me?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because we have to be lifetime learners, we have to continue to engage in learning something new, and as someone who is kind of a creator and has written a book, I know how hard it is, because whether it's a chapter, it's a novel, it's a thousand pages or two pages, it's still it's. It's not an easy thing to do and you have to commit to doing it Right.

Speaker 2:

Well, and you know what's funny is I copyright all the time. You know, I write product copy, I write dynamic copy, I write blogs, I write posts, but it's all on a professional level. And when I sat down to to kind of expose myself, like you know where, how far did I want to peel off those layers and I found that, you know, it was actually very therapeutic to take some of the things that have helped you grow to where you are today and identify with them and acknowledge them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think you don't always want to talk about. I think that's true. And there is a talking about acknowledging something. You know, just before Lisa's interview today and I had on a, an Olympic athlete, and we were talking about kind of, you know, being the it person I mean, when you're the best, like, what is that like? And she admitted the fact that, you know, so often we don't savor our experiences, our story, we kind of just move to the next thing and it's like, oh, no one's really going to think that's that great, like I'm going to move on to the next thing, the next thing, the next thing, and that's what we tend to do and and you said that too, you know, did I really, did I have anything that was really interesting, worth sharing? And that's what I think for anybody listening or viewing today, they need to realize that their story is so exceptional True, you know and we so undervalue that or overlook it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, oftentimes we do overlook it because we're so busy doing our day-to-day life. Yeah, you know, we need to reflect on things that we've done in the past to get ourselves to where we are. That includes the accomplishments, the failures and how we got there. And then also, one of the things that I'm trying to be very mindful about is offering up gratitude to people who have helped me along the way, who probably didn't even know they were helping me. And I think that's important too, to not only be a mentor for people who are, you know, 10, 15, 20 years, you know are juniors, or even a year or two, but to also look back on those people that were our mentors and thank them, because I personally feel that in today's age of post COVID and I hate talking about that way, but it is reality A lot of our younger generation they don't have that physical opportunity to have mentors.

Speaker 2:

So we have to go out there and provide that for them, because so many of us are the mentors that this generation needs. That we had and we kind of took for granted I know I did like, because they were there in my daily life every day for me to physically look up to and ask questions and let them lead by example. And it's a little harder for the younger generation now because you know remote learning, remote working, high working. So we have to find other ways to help them because they also they want that. And so to do that, I think first starts with acknowledging those who helped you along the way and taking it one step further. If you have the opportunity to reach out and thank them, it's really kind of mind blowing, and I do cover that a little bit in my chapter with how I experienced that myself with an early mentor.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and mentorship is something that I do think is undervalued. It really is. And your mentors? You know it's interesting. I have some mentors in my life. They don't even know they are my mentors, right, and I remember saying that to my daughter once and she's like what do you mean, mom? And I'm like, no, for real, like I have mentors that I look to and they don't know who Amy Schmidt is. They have no idea. So that's a very powerful thing that you mentioned about the power of mentors and that heart of gratitude which is so often we don't take the time or make the time to do that. People that have really inspired us or encouraged us, and letting them know how grateful we are, that's huge. When you started writing this chapter, when they came to you and said, okay, lisa, you're a super cool human, you've got a great story. Take me back to that moment. What was it like when you started it to kind of put it together, carve it out?

Speaker 2:

Well, it all came after a event that I was at representing the shoes and I was listening to one of the speakers, and usually when I was at these events so for all of 2024, we sponsored the monthly coffee. So I was there and I would talk about shoes. You know, you know how that goes. I just like that's what I'm used to doing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, like that's what I'm used to doing, yeah, and, but I would. I would be, I would take part in the talks that were taking place each month and the women that were offering them. And one of the women said well, why don't you tell your story? You seem like you have had a lot of interesting challenges, or you know obstacles and you know you should talk about it. And I'm like, oh, you know, no, I don't, I don't want to do that, you know. I'm just, I'm, I'm quietly grateful, right. And she's like why, what? What's your fear?

Speaker 1:

Oh, I like this woman.

Speaker 2:

I had to acknowledge my fear, and my fear was that things in my personal life that I overcame, I felt like if I identified with them in writing, what would my children think? You know, I did go through a divorce and it wasn't a messy divorce, but it was a divorce. So there was obviously a reason that a marriage broke up and there's still two very beautiful, wonderful children who came from this marriage and I wanted to protect them from thinking, oh gosh, our mom might feel this way or that way about our dad. Or, you know, I didn't want to. You know, bash my ex-husband. I didn't want to. You know divorce drama story and she gave me some really great insights. She said you know you don't need to do that, she said, but your children are adults and they see you and their father for exactly who they are. So maybe they'll respect you for acknowledging the things that maybe they already notice about their dad that maybe just lead you to not compatible to be married Not that you're talking poorly of him and I was like, hmm. So then another woman, another time asked me something and I found myself and this was a professional question, I found myself almost apologizing for being a woman, for being a woman in the workplace, for feeling like I had to stand up for myself, but yet kind of shying away.

Speaker 2:

And so when I was approached about writing the chapter and I said I don't know if I have anything special to say, I thought about it. I thought about it for weeks after. I said, yes, I'm like, oh my God, what did I get myself into Right? And then one night I literally was lying in bed. It was about 1030 and it just like hit me.

Speaker 2:

I talked to the writing coach and she kind of gave me some prompts and she's like you know, we want about 2000 words and I know that can be, you know, kind of a little daunting. So I went in and I just started writing and it just like flowed out, and it flowed out and it flowed out. And the next day I sent something to her and I said, okay, this is just raw, I mean, it's not checked, it's nothing, it's it's just my thoughts, which is what she asked for. And I said, and you're right about the 2000 words, it's daunting because there's about 3000 here. So where do we cut? But that's where we get to start. And I realized through that that all these different things that I that thought were very disjointed, they all wove together in the end.

Speaker 1:

They did. Yeah, that's powerful. They all play together. They all play together and it all makes part of a story. Yeah, it makes part of a story. And so how many women are involved in this particular, her sixth book that Jennifer's put out?

Speaker 2:

I think there's 37 authors in this one.

Speaker 1:

That's amazing. That's 37 women that have it's all women, correct that have come together and, you know, shared their authentic voice, their story, uniquely them, and then, like you said, you weave together this, you read it and then you say, wow, like she's done that, that's amazing, that resonates with me. Or wow, I had that same experience. I didn't know anybody else did Right.

Speaker 2:

That ability to peel back those layers of authenticity are huge. Yes, yeah, yeah, and everyone has their unique story and there's there's commonality in many of them. Yeah, and that's where I think I overcame the concern that my story wasn't special enough, because every, every story is always special enough because it's yours.

Speaker 1:

Yep, Yep. You know we go through life with blind spots, whether it's around asking for help or other things, but what is something you uncovered about yourself that you didn't realize?

Speaker 2:

Well, I think what I've realized that now is that and it, it it to summarize it is is like life's always going to throw you curveballs and you're going to dodge some of them, you're going to get hit upside the head by some of them, but then you're going to, they're going to just connect with one, you're going to hit it out of the park, and it's those moments that you can say bring it, bring it on. Bring it on because I might not always, it might not always work for me, but I'm not going to just go sit on the bench because I might get hit upside the head or I might miss it, because when I do connect with it, it's going to be big and it's going to be worth it.

Speaker 1:

And it's going to be worth it. Yeah, oh, I love that. I love that. What was the biggest challenge as far as well? I mean, you know, for writing too, and you have a writing coach, which is great, and I think a lot of people listening need to realize that there's a lot of support out there. If there's somebody thinking about writing a book or thinking about launching a business or thinking about going back to school, it is using your mentors, like we talked about before, but there are resources available right To help you.

Speaker 2:

Right. Well, and I think that this type of way of becoming an author, by being part of an anthology, you're working with a team of people who do this on a regular basis, so they take out a lot of the fear. By having a writing coach, by having a publisher, one of the biggest fears about writing a book is who's going to publish it. And when you have that person and you're working together as a team, then when it comes time for book launch, they're telling you what to expect, they're hyping it up, they're introducing everybody, they're telling us they're getting excited and it made it a true life-changing event the day of the launch, because I will honestly say that I had no idea what was going to happen the day of the launch.

Speaker 2:

Going into it, I've got all these things planned for my work day and I'm like, okay, well, we're supposed to keep an eye on things. And then all of a sudden, that just kind of took over the day in the most powerful way and it just the emotions all day were just like. I had no idea. And when I was reading about these women saying this before, I'm like, oh, like they're way into this. But you know, I'm just I've just got this little chapter, that blah, blah, blah, and I found out that I was wrong about that and I but I'm glad I allowed myself to put the brakes on that day and say you know what? I'm going to allow myself to appreciate this, I'm going to allow myself to immerse myself in this and be part of it, because I think oftentimes we do miss out on things in life because we think we're too busy or we think we've got too many other things going on and to experience something new and quite powerfully life-changing, like that was yeah, and it is life-changing.

Speaker 1:

And I mean, you've done it yourself. You know how it feels. Right, it's life-changing, yeah, it's life-changing and and I do think I've learned through what I've created with my brand and my businesses you do have to sit back and savor it and and really say, wow, I did that, like that's pretty cool, like that's an accomplishment I did. And now how can I help somebody else do that same thing?

Speaker 1:

and you know, take them along, kind of, and and, like I always say, kick the door open and hold it open with your heel for the next woman to come in Cause I think that's so important. Um, you know, as you were, I look at you as I mean you're, you're in a, you're a business executive too, you know, I mean that that is a big part of you. You've, you've, you've managed and run and created and done all of those things. If there's people listening because a lot of women are not that, they're not business executives. They've stepped away from you know, maybe to raise their kids, or they've never taken on that business journey. Is this possible for them too?

Speaker 2:

it is, and it's all about balance and balance. Achieving balance art, and I can tell you I I struggle with it all the time. Yeah, and it has it's. You have to mindfully try to balance your life and you, you have to say no to things. At times you have to say no to either a work thing, you have to say no to a personal thing, you have to say no to a volunteer thing. Sometimes, just say no to your kids or your husband or your coworkers.

Speaker 2:

And you know, that's one of the things that prompted my chapter was in my thirties. I didn't say no, I felt like I had to say yes to everything. I wanted to be that woman that could juggle it all. And you know, and I was blissfully going down you know life's path, thinking I was only to one day just be struck right upside the head that I wasn't Right and I had to ask myself what's going wrong here. And my chapter, which is titled Too Young to Be Beige, is because I took a look at a picture of myself and I thought I look so beige. But I felt beige.

Speaker 2:

It wasn't like a pretty monochromatic, lovely off white beige, it was like blah beige from head to toe, yeah, yeah, and I just thought I'm trying too hard to be everything for everybody and it's just not possible. And so I feel fortunate that that hit me upside the head at age 30. And it took a while. It wasn't like I just woke up the next day and did something about it, but once I did, and I started realizing that, once I gained control of myself and found some balance and really focused on the things that meant the most, that my life just seemed to improve. And sometimes that means losing things that you thought you had to have in your life, that you really don't. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that is huge. That is huge. And trying new things Yep, Absolutely A hundred percent. You were just part of a big award ceremony. I followed you on and I thought that was really cool to to see a group of all of the women that were part of writing this together.

Speaker 2:

Was that the first time?

Speaker 1:

you'd all been together, all of you, or are you at other chances to do that?

Speaker 2:

No Zoom meetings prior to the book launch. Now some of these women who've been part of GRIT um have been to other things together, so you know the previous there were women from all the books. So, like you know, each book assume has 20 to 30 some authors, so not all of them were there, but many of them were and many of them from the other books spoke. So we heard all these very inspirational stories and there were some awards given. But I think the thing that was the coolest was actually getting to physically meet these women that we had shared so much emotion together over the past few months. And you know, you just kind of see each other and you just want to embrace each other and say good job, and your story meant so much to me and let's get our picture together. And you know, it just creates this community of love and support and encouragement and I think that's so needed right now.

Speaker 1:

Mm. Hmm, I think it's so important. We navigate so often in these little circles and we don't open it up to a horseshoe, like I say often, and we don't let others in. And we need to because it's so and community is key for anything. I think that's probably how you've always navigated your business too. I mean, you have a great business partner there that designs these fabulous shoes. You know, and I know that aspect of you too. So you work together and that's so important and we need to lift each other up and, you know, encourage each other and and also call each other out on certain occasions if you need to, and but it's important to build that community so important. I'm so glad you got to be a part of it and I hope that you'll go. You know, continue to write and create from that aspect, which I think is so interesting.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I actually have been asked to be part of another group of an anthology book, which I'm not sure it's a different type of focus. But through this, another woman has reached out to me and said you know, you just seem like a total badass and I really want you to shout out to other women that you know there are things that can be done, and it isn't always pretty and it isn't always easy, but there's people along the way that'll help you. And you know that was one of the things I put in my book too, about, you know, just allowing yourself to be vulnerable, because you'll figure out along the way who the people are that are there for you and that are not. And you can. You can make those choices of who you want to keep in your life and and who you don't.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's, that's well said. You do, you can make those choices, absolutely, you have permission to make those choices. You can make those choices, absolutely, you have permission to make those choices. So, as we close today, where can people find? I'll link it in the episode notes, but where can people order? Is it right on Amazon? It is on Amazon, okay, great, and there's a link there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, if you just look at Living Well with Grit and possibly even if you just type in Grit. But I think if you do Living Well with Grit by Jennifer Bardot, all the books will pop up because they're all available on there, and now the Living Well with Grit is also available, that's fabulous.

Speaker 1:

Do you have a copy there for the people not that are listening but are viewing? Do you have a copy of it? I'll put one in the notes as well.

Speaker 2:

I did print this off this morning. Look at that. I mean that's pretty cool. I want to point out something really cool that just came about. This is just one of those little life blessings. These shoes are Rose Homerson shoes, are they? And Jennifer Bardot came one day and said I have a big surprise for you. She's like look at the cover of my book. I am putting your shoes on the cover of my book. And that was just like a wow moment, like thank you. I didn't ask for it, we didn't sponsor it and it just it means the world to me, because those are sometimes the ways that we just find that what we're doing is working Is working.

Speaker 1:

I love it. So, before we close, I want to ask you the question I ask everyone, and I know I think I've asked you this before actually, but Lisa, if you were sitting on the couch and you look over and there you are, at 30, what advice would you give Lisa at 30?

Speaker 2:

So can I give two answers One professionally, one personally? Yes, so, because the professional one is in my chapter, and so number one being an entrepreneur does not mean you don't have a real job If you're an entrepreneur, if you're self-employed, you are professional, you are real and you are oftentimes working harder than people who go to an office. So don't ever discount yourself as not being professional just because you're an entrepreneur. Oftentimes we're told that I was, and it was a blemish for me. For a while I felt embarrassed by it. I would say oh, I'm just a freelance art director. I wasn't. What I needed to be saying was I own my own freelance art direction company and I'm really good at it. And if you know anybody that needs something, let me know. So that's one. And then the world is full. The corporate world is full of egotistical people that will try to bring you down, but it is also full of people who want to build you up and support you. They're out there, you'll find them. You let yourself be open to those and let the others go. Now on a personal level. I already mentioned this one about the curveballs. But just be prepared. Just be prepared, and when you're not prepared, get yourself back up and dust yourself off and just keep going and find those people who are there to help you, because there's so many that are, and I was struck. I just want to close with one of the quick things that you put on your questions I should be prepared for is people that inspire me.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I was struck this year by two well, by three women, and I'm going to make it fast because I know we need to sum it up here. So my niece had a five-year-old son, was diagnosed with acute liver cancer, kind of had a stomach ache and the next thing, they know, boom, they are in full-blown chemo. And you know most people don't expect this. She didn't expect it and I watched her as she went through all these chemo treatments and you know his surgery and he rang the bell on New Year's Eve and now they're, you know, getting more chemo and then scans. And you know she just kept talking about how you know I've been puked on, peed on, cried on, screamed at, and she just kept moving forward on, screamed at and she just kept moving forward. And then my cousin, who is also about the same age and has two little girls, she herself came down or was diagnosed with leukemia and went through a year of experiencing this from her own level while trying to maintain a family. Her sister was a perfect match for a bone marrow transplant and she is also now in remission.

Speaker 2:

But the one thing that I just kept feeling when I would read both of these women's posts or talk to them or get texts from them, is that they just never quit encouraging themselves and allowing help, allowing people to help them, and that's what I think, as women, we oftentimes don't do. We think we've got it. We want to be strong and we might be fighting a big battle, we might be fighting an internal battle, but we just have to let ourselves be encouraged and let people help us, because we do want to help.

Speaker 1:

That's powerful. That's a great way to end this. Thanks, lisa. I love that. I love that and I hope they're doing well, thinking about you, sending love to you over in St Louis. Thanks for writing this. I think it's amazing. Thank you, look forward to sharing it with everyone. We'll have the link on there and look forward to doing more together in 2025. I would love that as well, amy. Thank you so much. All right, we'll see ya.