EP4: What If “Enough” Is The Real Upgrade a conversation with Tidy Dad

A 14-inch closet, three kids, and a 750 square foot apartment in New York City sounds like a recipe for constant chaos, yet Tyler Moore (Tidy Dad) uses it as proof that simplicity can create real calm. We sit down with Tyler to talk about decluttering and home organization as something deeper than neat shelves: a way to reduce overwhelm, protect mental health, and build a life that feels spacious even when your home is not.

We get specific about what makes organizing sustainable, including capsule wardrobe criteria (color, fit, fabric), seasonal resets, and why defining “enough” in one category can unlock room for what you actually use every day. Tyler also shares the less-talked-about side of the tidy journey, from growing up navigating two homes after his parents’ divorce to a breaking point when his family and career expanded at the same time. The thread running through it all is self-awareness: sometimes your circumstances outgrow your capacity, and systems are support, not a moral scorecard.

We also go into values-based parenting and “keeping up with the Joneses.” Tyler tells a story about his daughter asking if they are poor after seeing a much bigger house, and how he reframes wealth as having choice, not square footage. You’ll leave with practical time management tools like 15-minute and visual timers, plus one easy starter move: pick a small category you don’t have to negotiate with anyone about, like socks, underwear, or your work bag.

If you want more calm with less clutter, listen now, then subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find The Right Size Life.

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Transcript

Welcome And The Right-Size Mindset

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to the Right Size Life, a podcast about making space for what matters the most. I'm your host, Amy Schmidt, under Fearlessly Facing 50, and each week we explore what it really means to right size our poems, our health, our mindset, and our lives. Not from a place of lack, but from a place of possibility. Because sometimes the next chapter begins with letting go. And today's conversation is one I know so many of you are going to connect with. We're joined by Tyler Moore, known to many as Tidy Dad, whose thoughtful and inspiring approach to organization, family life, and intentional living has resonated with millions. But this conversation isn't really about perfection or perfectly folded towels. It's about something deeper, creating calm and chaos, making space emotionally and physically and understanding how our home can either support us or overwhelm us. In a world where so many people feel stretched, overstimulated, exhausted, Tyler Brain said to grounded from mind that simplicity isn't about having luck for the sake of life. It's about making room for more. And honestly, isn't that what the right-sized life is all about? So buckle up. This is gonna be a great episode. Well, welcome everybody to the show today. As you heard in the intro, this is gonna be a fun one. And um, so without further ado, I'm just gonna introduce Tyler Moore because I just know this conversation is gonna flow and we're gonna have a whole lot of fun. So welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

And this was like literally, you must be very organized. I mean, obviously you are very organized, but this is like 48 hours later we got this together. So I would say that's pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

No, and I was joking that I'm always happy to talk to people. But yes, I try to keep things organized. I try to keep things batched, but I do feel like if anybody wants to talk to the token dad, who's like all things tidying, organizing, and cleaning while still lives his day life as a New York City public school teacher. Like there aren't that many of us, but I'm always excited when people want to chat.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Uh okay. I gotta, I gotta just start by saying this. I'm not in my usual uh location today, but I am sporting. If you're watching, you'll see a Bucknell sweatshirt. I was talking to my son today, Tyler. He's 22, and he goes, Mom, I was in between meetings and he said, What are you doing? And I said, Oh, I'm I'm interviewing this, this real I said I have three today, but I'm really interested

How Tidy Dad Reaches Men Too

SPEAKER_00 2:40

in talking to Tyler Moore. He goes, Oh, who's Tyler Moore? And you know he's got his phone right there. He's 22.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

He's looking.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

He goes, No way, that's the tidy dad.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Okay, so you're hitting a whole nother generation.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Well, it's so funny that you mentioned it because for a long time, I mean, I have a very loyal and I'm very appreciative female audience. Yeah, but it's so interesting to see this evolution as I expand. Because I I share a lot on Instagram, but I also now share a lot and do a ton of writing on Substack. And there are so many men, male readers on Substack. But now I also have my podcast, Tidy Tidbits, which are these little tiny episodes. But again, it's so interesting to see where are the men hanging out because so often women were like, I love sending my stuff to your to my husband, and he's been doing these tips. But over the weekend, I had a dad who messaged me and he was like, Hey, I saw you out in the wild this weekend. We were like out in New York City celebrating Mother's Day. He was like, I turned to my wife and was like, That's tidy dad. And I was like, to my wife, I was like, we are making progress. It's not just women who see me out in the wild, men are seeing me out in the wild too. And I think that that is that's amazing. It's really an amazing thing that even for someone at 22, you know, I do feel like, especially with him graduating college, I mean, when I look back and think about it's a beautiful time of your life, but it also is so messy, and there are all of these identity things happening and going on. All of your friends are going certain places, you're starting completely over in some ways. And it's like, okay, what do I do? What is next? And if there's a season of life to tidy up, that post-college season is huge.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

I think you got your next book, yes. So 22. He's moving, he's moving to the city, and hey, he needs all the help he can get around tidy little tidbits. So yeah, take it from mom.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

If he hasn't started decluttering yet, now's the time, and he needs to set those boundaries and he needs a capsule wardrobe. There you go. Those are my things.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

So well, Tyler has a 14-inch closet, correct?

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Yes, yes, 14-inch.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

I think that's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

I it is and it has simplified my life. Another thing that helped was I had my colors analyzed back in the fall, and that was revolutionary for me because I feel like with a small wardrobe, you you have to establish criteria for what do you keep and what do you not. And so for so often I was really looking at color and fit and fabric. I had these four core colors that I was wearing for years, which were navy, olive, this tan camel color, and burgundy. And so I had my colors analyzed and I sat down in the chair. And the woman, I was like, I really hope that you confirm these four colors that I've been wearing. And she was like, Okay, let's see. This will be so revealing. And then she was like, Oh my goodness, did you say that you've been wearing camel? And I was like, Yeah, yeah, no. She was like, No, you cannot, no, you cannot wear camel. And she was like, Did you say olive? And I was like, Yeah, I always thought it complemented my eyes. And she was like, No, you're a bright winter.

The 14-Inch Closet And Color Rules

SPEAKER_02 6:00

We have to get you wearing emerald. So it was just funny, yeah. But I feel like it did give me a lens for what do you keep, what do you move out? And it's been this fun process of how do your colors and your clothing items complement your overall sort of like psychology of how you feel. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

I agree because I get stuck in the same old, same old black, you know, or navy. Um how big is your wife's closet?

SPEAKER_02 6:26

It is more substantial, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Double, 28 inches?

SPEAKER_02 6:31

It's double, but she also has a dresser inside. Uh we there are many ways that we complement one another. Yeah. But yeah, the day I was like, I am willing to take this 14-inch wide closet if it means that I do not have to share space with you. I because mine, I want things in color order. Yeah, I have the vertical folds. Um, I have a clear routine for pending items, you know, the clothes that you wear, but they're not quite clean, not quite dirty. My systems are not the same as my wife's. And I was like, I don't, I do not want to share this with you. I do not have to share all parts of my life with you. I get that. That was a great thing for our marriage.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

So hers is a little bigger, but yeah, but hey, you live in a 750 square foot apartment in New York City with three gorgeous girls and your wife, so four gorgeous girls, and you make it work.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

We do. And I think that, you know, people always ask us, well, what's gonna happen at this stage of life? What's gonna happen when they're teenagers? What are you gonna do? And life in this apartment is normal to them. Yeah. That we have seasons of like we just completed this big winter to summer shift where we were like putting away all of the seasonal gear, pulling back out the swimsuits. Um, they were going through their summer things. We just went through birthday season, so lots of new things have come in, which means that things need to go out. And I do feel like we are forced on a continual basis to confront our stuff because we don't have a basement, we don't have an attic. And I don't necessarily think that that's a bad thing, that I think that at some point you have to confront everything that you have accumulated. Yeah, either you are gonna confront it or someone is going to confront it. Um, and to me, I want us to be surrounded by the things that we use, right, that bring us joy, but we also have to make space for those new things to come in. And so they have understood that, like, yes, we have to go through things on a Saturday and figure out what to do with it. Like, that's an amazing part of life.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Amazing life lesson. A little side note, we lived our family, when our kids were little, we lived in Germany and we lived there for about six years. Their wonder years were really there. So our youngest was in kindergarten, and we went over as an expat family and we wanted to live the German European life. And as expats, you know, you you go over. I thought we were camping, um, you know, two years. We ended up being almost six, and our kids learned to share space. Like our boys lived in the same room. Our daughter had a room she could barely stand up because it was slanted. We lived in a German village and we loved it. And the lessons that we pulled from that experience, Tyler, were kind of what you're living in a way, because we've always lived with a bit less. I mean, we we don't need that much.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

No, and I think that there's this mental and emotional weight sometimes that comes from all of this stuff. And I think so. And when I was talking about my colors with my wardrobe, that I don't often think that we establish criteria at a granular level of what do we want to keep and what do we want to move out? And I truly do believe that when you can start to establish criteria with things as nominal as your socks, your underwear, your work bag, the belt that you like to wear, the glasses that you enjoy that can then help transition to other much higher stakes aspects of life, like what is the job that I want? What do I want from my first apartment? What do I want? How many hours a week do I want to spend in the office? How do I spend time with these hobbies? What am I looking for in a life part? All of these things I do feel like can be honed by the little things that you have in your space. And it's the training ground for these much bigger decisions.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

Yeah, I would agree with that. That's amazing. So have you always been like this? Like if we were to go back to 12-year-old Tyler and we were sitting around with your middle school buddies, would they be saying

Small-Space Living Forces Honest Decluttering

SPEAKER_00 10:35

you were always the one with the organized pencil case? Okay, that's dating myself. You didn't probably have pencil cases, but were you that person that had everything organized and systemized?

SPEAKER_02 10:45

I was always more organized than my sisters, which is funny because being the only boy as the middle child, I feel like middle children, we have lots of stereotypes that we fight against.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Yeah, my husband's one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Yeah. So we have to prove for you. And that we aren't just these like emotional messy beings, which is what society likes to tell us. Um, but that 12-year-old self, I mean, when I go back, that was a season of life where my parents divorced when I was 12. And so I went from one family home to two shared homes. And we were going back and forth between my parents. And my story isn't unique just to me, but I had to develop systems pretty quickly because I did not want to emotionally burden my parents. I didn't want to create stress on them to drive back and forth to each other's house when I forgot something for ball practice, or say, oh, I was supposed to have that school paper, but it's actually at dad's house, and now I'm not gonna have to turn it, like I'm not gonna have it to turn in. So I quickly developed systems for my stuff. My sisters didn't always and so I think that part of it was, you know, I learned from what not to do from them, but I also didn't want to burden my parents. And even going back pre-divorce, I mean, I always enjoyed knowing where my things were. That was the big thing that I liked, knowing where my shoes were, knowing where my, you know, sports equipment was. I didn't like that feeling of not being in control, and so tidiness for me was something that I was able to maintain for a really long time until our second daughter was born, and there's nothing like that second child to sort of push back on the semblance of control that you had. I feel like with the firstborn, my wife and I were able to tag team. Yes, and we brought her into our apartment, and there wasn't this explosion of stuff with the second daughter. We then had the what do you do with the hand-me-down stuff? What are we doing about these toys that they've outgrown? How do we make this space safe for a two-year-old and a six-month-old to play in at the same time? Who's what not to mention when you're having young kids is also when, from a career standpoint, you're supposed to be blazing the trail and having all of these promotions. That's when I went from a teacher to a school admin. And so there's nothing like upsizing your family and upsizing your career at the same time, which just throws things into a tailspin. And so that was the big turning point for me. It was this mental health breakdown that came from the feeling of hold on, I was able to hold everything together. Yeah. And now I can't. And there was this big question of what is wrong with me.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yeah.

unknown 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

And really the answer was there wasn't anything wrong with me apart from my capacity of what I could handle was outmatched by my circumstances at home and my circumstances at work.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Wow. Are you amazingly self-aware? I mean, that's huge right there. That's a gift. It is a gift. That's a gift.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

And it took also three years of a therapist. Yeah. Because I had a moment on the sidewalk where I was like, it would be easier to walk into traffic right now than to deal with everything that I'm going on that it's going on in life.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

And I called my wife. I was like, I this is just too much. So with a therapist, I was able to sort of understand where some of these feelings are coming from. And even as a man, I was like, why don't I want to work 60 hours a week? What is wrong with me? And she was like, there isn't anything wrong with you. You're just wired differently. Differently. Everyone is wired differently. Yeah, but that's a challenge.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

It's okay. It's a challenge, though. I mean, you know, you go to basketball practice or you drop your girls off at dance or whatever, and men are working and women 80-hour weeks, these crazy hours, and it's New York City. You're at the epicenter of all of that, and you're really on the outer orbit. What is that like? I mean, you you truly are. And I I think it's wonderful,

Using Simple Criteria To Make Big Choices

SPEAKER_00 15:10

but I'm sure there's some people going, come on, really? Like, is this really possible?

SPEAKER_02 15:14

It is. And you know, I remember when I made the decision to return back to the classroom, and I thought, what is everyone gonna say about me? Really? You thought and I remember telling people, and they were like, Good for you. That's great. That sounds like a that sounds like a nice move. I can tell that you're making a decision based on your family. Oh, and that was very freeing. And then again, yes. It was like after the book, after my book came out, there was this, there's that huge sort of rush that comes of publishing. And there's nothing like as soon as people see that book, hold it up because it is bedazzling. And I bedazzled it, yeah. So it's it's beautiful. Um, but they're like, so what's next? And I'm like, why can't we just sit in the now? Why do we always have to feel like we have to know exactly what is coming down the pipeline? Can't we give ourselves a little bit of space to just breathe? And so I do feel like my tidy up your life journey, I really am trying to live it out where it's like for this season of life, having written this book, that was enough. Yeah, continuing to teach six blocks from my apartment where all three of my children attend school, right now that is enough. This little apartment that we have is enough. We also have a cottage in Pennsylvania where we go to in the summers. That is enough because at the end of the day, I want space in my life to feel like I can read a book. Yeah, yeah, to cook uh fun dinners at night, to bake my children warm breakfast every morning because I love baking for them. Those are the things that bring me joy, and I don't want to be completely maxed out.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

I want to talk about chapter two because that talks about what does good enough look like. Before we before we do that, I want to ask about your girls. And I hope this is not too personal, but um, you know, you've got three girls and and they're fairly young now and they're growing up and they're gonna be going to other people's homes, and you know what what it's like out there. Society is, let's be honest, keeping up with the Joneses. Yeah, it's it hasn't changed, it's been that way. I mean, I'm 56, it's always that way. It's oh, who's getting the bigger house? Who's going to the private school? Who's doing bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger? Are your girls having any of those types of conversations with you? Kind of like, why do we live in such a small house?

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Last summer was the first time that we drove. We my family lives in Kentucky, and my sister lives in this palatial farmhouse. It's it's beautiful, it's huge. Right. And my oldest daughter asked if we were poor because she said, you know, they have such a bigger house than we do. Right. Like, do we not have enough money?

unknown 18:03

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

And I was like, let's lean into this.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

I was like, what do you mean by oh that gave me goosebumps, Tyler?

SPEAKER_02 18:09

Yeah, and she and she was like, Well, you know, we just like I don't have a my own room like my cousins. And I was like, you know, the beautiful thing about life is that oftentimes we're given choices, and we get to sort of decide what do we want to do. Someday you're gonna get to decide what job do you want to have? You're gonna get to decide where do you want to live? Do you want to have kids? Do you want to travel? You get to name what are those values. And I was like, actually, to me, that idea of wealthy versus poor, I was like, to me, wealth comes from having choice. We don't have everything in the world. But when your mommy and I say, let's go to Switzerland for February break, we were able to do that. You know, we were like, we just went to Madrid for and took the girls, and we were like, one of our values is we want to show you girls the world, but obviously on a dime, because we figured out that February is the cheapest time to travel from New York City to Europe. It's off season, it's cheaper flying there than than Florida. Yeah. Um, but I was like, but just because we've made these choices, that doesn't mean that you someday have to make the same choices. And I think that is the biggest thing that I'm learning with our girls is you know, I know what it's like to have to justify my actions all the time. I continually am asked, why do you still live in that apartment?

Divorce Systems And A Mental Health Turning Point

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Don't you feel like you are limiting your children? What are you gonna do about the privacy? Don't you value the and I feel like online I, you know, I field these questions, and it's oftentimes people's baggage or judgments from something, it's not me that's triggering it, something else.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Something else is yep.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

But I do want my girls to know that they have choices, that things we value, we value education, we value travel, we value rest, we value family time, we value connection. Um, and I do feel like that is gonna lay a foundation for them to someday get to choose what they want to do. And if they want a palatial farmhouse, great. And as I joke, I'm like, you can have a suite for me and your mom, and we can come and we can live there for like three months out of the year. I'm like, my retirement plan, I know. I'm like, I want to live with each girl for three months out of the year, and then live on a cruise ship. The last three months, it's gonna be a quarterly system, so you guys can choose when you want me. Love it, but you know, love it. So that's what I tell them. But it is fascinating what kids pick up on.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

Oh, sure. And you know they're hearing it, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

We can't put our own baggage onto them while also honoring the questions that they have because they do notice differences, and differences are okay, but we have choices, and how do you honor the choices that you've made while also opening up freedom for other possible things down the road?

SPEAKER_00 21:05

So pull that through for me. What was her reaction when you had that conversation?

SPEAKER_02 21:09

She was like, Oh, you know, I like to travel. She was like, I like when we go on vacations. Yeah, and she was like, you know what? Someday maybe I want a bigger house than our apartment, but a smaller house than Aunt Kristen's. There you go. And I was like, you know what? That sounds like a great idea.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

That's perfect, you know.

SPEAKER_02 21:32

But again, I was like, but you get to choose. Yeah, you know, like amazing, and and I will respect what it is that you want to do, but wherever you go, I will come and visit you. Yeah, I'll get a hotel if I need to, or I can live in your palatial guest suite, hopefully with a swimming pool or something.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Exactly, exactly, and maybe horses, and who knows, you know. Who knows? Who knows? I I think it's interesting. I I can't wait to talk to you in like you know, 10 years. My kids are well, my Kids, my oldest is 28, but we've gone through this now, and what I call right sizing, and that is selling our family home and now in spaces that are much smaller. And blow up beds are what it is, you know, and and they love to come. I mean, we have a two-bedroom condo, and we now live in that in Florida, and we love it and we make it work, and we're together. And I think more and more people are coming around to that. But um, but I just love the way you handle. So thank you for answering that because I know that got a little personal with the girls. Um let's talk about what does good enough look like? Because I think that's it's a great chapter. I think it's chapter two. I don't have my book here because I'm not at my normal spot, but what does that mean?

SPEAKER_02 22:40

So I think that we can't upsize everything in our lives, that something has to give. And I think that this word enough is something that we need to think about more. That I don't think that establishing what is enough in a category is limiting, but it's more so how do I actually make space for the things that I used? And a little tangible example is like over the weekend we were switching out our winter gear for our summer gear. And I work out from home every morning, and I have been stuffing my little resistance bands into all of these different nooks and crannies in our entryway cabinet because that's where I work out. And I was like, girls, can I please use your clear organizing bins? Can we do you girls need all of these like spring hats? And they were like, no, daddy, we don't. I don't, I don't like half those hats. Let's just put them on the buy nothing group, whatever. And after about 30 minutes, and I posted it online today, like, I have a really nice organized home gym station. I saw it there in my entryway. Yeah, that to me brings so much joy and peace and contentment because it's something that I use every single day. But by introducing these categories of what is actually enough in one category, it opens up space for these other things to flourish. And I'm sure you found the same in your two room condo. You cannot hold on to everything in all of the iterations of the life that you have lived, nor can you hold on to every sentimental thing that your children gave you, that your parents have given you, the hand-me-downs from the generations. You have to establish a criteria. And that's what I think that like good enough, that what is just enough, those things, that criteria that you establish can help you make decisions about what to keep and what to move out. And so my workout bands, they're now nicely organized in little bins. And it's so much easier for me in the morning to find exactly what I need and get started with my workout so that I can then move on with my day. And it's a product of establishing boundaries in other areas.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Right. I mean, that just goes with your teaching too, with your teaching background and your profession. It's all about systems and keeping kids organized. So I'm sure the kids that are in your class are like,

Raising Kids Around Values Not Stuff

SPEAKER_00 25:05

wow, you know, I am really organized. I'm sure you're teaching them so many things.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

Well, because it feels good to know where our things are when we want them.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Like I have kids who it's funny, the bedazzling. I started bedazzling because the kids at school were bringing in all of their little things that they were doing at home. And I was like, How can I make space for this? This is like neat and organized. Um, the pencil cases where their books are, their notebooks being organized. We take care of the things that we value. And it's often the stereotype where women are constantly like, well, my husband is filthy. I can't get him to tidy up anything. And I'm like, okay, go to your husband's desk at work. Because I would imagine that it's tidy. Why? Because he has someone who like you can't choose whether or not to have a messy desk. You have a boss who can come in and say, Hey, we have clients coming in. Your boss, your desk cannot look like this.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Right.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

Right. We take care of the things that we value. Men's cars are typically pristine. The garage, they love organizing it. But I do think it's time to give more ownership over men in this home space and say, what are the systems that you want to set up here? What are the things that you actually want to have access to? Or even like in the kitchen, if it's your domain, saying to your husband, you've got to put things back when you use them. It's frustrating to me when I've put things in this drawer and I can't find it again. So together, we need to both understand the systems for the kitchen in order for us to be able to use it and function in this space. People have to talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

Yeah. Systems is a good word. I like that. I like it. And it's it's what I call courageous conversations. It's conversations you have to have over a glass of wine and you say, okay, let's talk about this. And it makes a lot of sense. And you also like time limits on things, don't you?

SPEAKER_02 27:05

Like, yes, I still to this day. I have had this weekday cleaning routine where I clean one area of the house each weekday. And every morning I still set my 15-minute timer. At night, we have visual timers that are good for my girls because the youngest is six. And she sets the little visual timer and she sees it tick down. That there are so many studies around the constraints of time can actually breed productivity. There is an urgency with which we are all working to sort of tidy up in order to be able to move on to X, Y, or Z. There's a reason why when I do my workouts in the morning, I start my little timer and I know, okay, Tyler, you have 45 minutes until X, Y, or Z. You need to start breakfast by 6:30, or else X, Y, or Z, you know, will sort of fall apart. That I think that it isn't this like race, race, race, race, race. It's more so it just sort of eliminates, I don't know, and gives space for things to happen. So I love I love the timer.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

You you posted that today at like a 10-minute I love that.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

So if you get off track, let's be honest, it happens. You get off track, you know, something goes awry. Kids are sick, this happens. How do you react to that?

SPEAKER_02 28:24

So it's funny because I just ran a marathon two weeks ago. And I was Did you do the Boston? I didn't do the Boston. I did one near our neighborhood in Pennsylvania. Um and it was after over spring break, I walked the Camino way with my dad in Spain. So I walked over a hundred kilometers. I then came back and did my really long runs. Then I had my marathon, and I have been dealing with runner's knee. And it's really frustrating me because I have been so I've been watching my health, really stretching mobility, and it's really frustrating to me right now. And yesterday I went back to the park. It was the first time in two weeks that I have run. And I had to start with running for one minute, walking for two minutes. Walking for one or running for one minute, walking for two minutes, and I did a five rep. My knee still hurts. It was really frustrating when I ended that sort of workout, and I was like, is this really going to be my life? And then my wife turned to me because I was frustrated, and she was like, You're in a rebuilding season. This is going to take time. You are rebuilding that knee so that it can be stronger again. You don't want to hurt yourself. And so it goes back to your question because there are times when we all fall off the wagon. And oftentimes, what we try to do is just like the marathon, is go out and run at the same intensity that we did before X, Y, or Z happened. And this season, right now, is teaching me about what does rest look like? What does recovery look like? What does rebuilding look like? And it's frustrating right now to not go out and just run. I see all these people running on the sidewalk. It's beautiful in New York City. And it it bothers me.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

But I'm reminded of okay, if I went out and went on a long run, what would it actually do to my body and what would the damage be? And that's just like with our homes.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

Say we throw ourselves completely back into overhauling everything. Oftentimes people want to declutter everything at one time. Yeah, that doesn't work. It's not gonna work. You get overwhelmed. You may have you may have steam for about 10 minutes, yeah, and then you're gonna look at that mess and you're gonna say, What have I done? And it's the same with my knee. If I go out and run right now, at the end I'm gonna say, What have you done? Yeah, allow yourself to rest, allow yourself to recover. This is a season, and things are gonna get better. So that's what I'm genius. That's what I'm trusting.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Well, you're big into quiet time. I think that's so important because I I'm a big believer in rest is productive, actually. And we need to reward ourselves with rest. I think it's important. So it's your season of rest right now for that. Um before we go, because I know we're running here a couple minutes over, um, I'd like you just to give uh one little tangible takeaway, something for somebody listening or watching today to get their to get started on this tidy journey journey. You know, what can they do today? What can they start this weekend? Say this drops on a Friday. What are they going to do over the weekend?

SPEAKER_02 31:28

My favorite thing is just to choose one small category that you don't have to negotiate with anyone about. It can even be as nominal as your socks and underwear drawer. No one wears your underwear, no one wears your socks. But actually sit down and ask yourself

Good Enough Systems Timers And Shared Ownership

SPEAKER_02 31:45

after you clear the space, what do I actually like? What are the colors? What's the fit? What's the fabric? Then organize it in such a way that actually makes you feel a little bit better. Or when you open that drawer, there's this feeling of, oh, well, doesn't that look nice? And this is something where you set a five or 10 minute timer. But when you know what are those categories that I am solely responsible for, that I don't have to question with anyone, that no one can give me their two cents that actually is incredibly freeing. And so that is a wonderful place to start. Start where you don't have to negotiate because negotiating, especially as you're getting started, it will be a non-starter. You are not going to get anywhere if you have to talk to someone else about what stays and what goes. So socks and underwear, even your work bag, just start there.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

I did my work bag last night. He would have been proud of me.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

And it feels good.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Six million pairs of those, you know, headphones that you get on the airline, and they come by, and I don't need another one, but they're free and you do.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

I know, I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

And they're all tangled. So that was my journey last night when my I got to my husband's place here, and he's like, What are you doing? I said, I gotta clean out my bag because it's it's a little like my purse. I'm a very tidy person, but my purse and my work bag uh nightmares.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

And it doesn't take that long.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

No, it doesn't took 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

So well, I'm gonna post everything on the episode notes where we can find you, and we're gonna give a book away.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Yes, yes, I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

So I'll have all the details on my Instagram and I'll share it with you so you can share it with followers and we'll give away a book. And what's next for you? What do you what what do you think's next? Oh are you writing something else?

SPEAKER_02 33:24

I, you know, it's funny. It's not I've been playing around with this book title of do I have to clean this up? Because there are these, like it's sort of that deeper dive into what are those like sort of emotional messes that we experience. Like my grandma passed away in the fall, and we were going in and doing the like death cleaning after her, and it brought up so many emotions. And I was like, there's actually this beautiful vignette here because my sisters, it's not to knock what they were doing, but family members walked in and they were immediately trying to. I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this. And I had this overwhelming feeling of like, I just need to honor this space right now and just feel I want to see how was it left by her. And then I was able to sort of choose what are those mementos and things that I want to keep. And I chose, it's silly, but I really wanted she had this pig um light switch cover that was always in her kitchen from the time that I could remember. And I was like, Dad, that's the one thing that I want. And I brought it back, and it's in our kitchen, and I see it every single day, and it triggers that memory for my grandma. And so I think for me, it's continuing to play on what does it actually mean to tidy up your life? How do you move just beyond the aesthetics? But what does this actually mean for me? And I don't want more right now, I want less and to recover my knee. I really want to. Because my next marathon is Philadelphia at the end of November. So I've got to I've gotta get this going.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

So thank you so much for that.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

Anyway, thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

And if you want to do a little uh tidying up with like 22-year-old boys

Rebuilding Seasons And The Smallest First Step

SPEAKER_00 35:05

that are all moving to the city, you got a very captive audience. Not a bad idea.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

It would no, it would not be a bad idea. That would be that would be a project because start 'em young. But start them young, because that's where you laid the values in the foundation. And if you can quiet that desire for more at 22, it it pays dividends in the decades that follow.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

So I think we need to be marketing your book for college grads. Everybody's looking for a college grad gift for young men. It really, it yes. There you go. I really enjoyed this. Oh, thanks for having me. Yeah. All right, and we'll be in touch. Thanks so much for joining me today on The Right Size Life. If this episode resonated with you, I hope you'll share it with someone who may need a little encouragement, clarity, or inspiration in this season of life. And don't forget to subscribe. You know the right size life was originally Fearlessly Facing50, and now we've rebranded to the Right Size Life. So make sure you're following it on anywhere you listen to podcasts. It's on all the

Wrap Up Giveaway And How To Connect

SPEAKER_00 36:10

platforms. And you can find me at Fearlessly Facing50.com, F-I-F-T-Y, remember 50 is always spelled out. On Instagram, I'm the Amy.schmidt, and on Facebook at Fearlessly Facing50. And I would love for you to get on the waiting list for my book, which will be launching soon. So if you'd like to be on the list and the first to know when it launches, you can go ahead and simply email me, Amy at Fearlessly Facing50.com, F-I-F-T-Y dot com, and put the word list L-I-S-T in the subject line, and I will add you to the waiting list. And remember, sometimes the next chapter begins with letting go. I'll see you next time on the right size life. Have a great and blessed week.