{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":1.02,"endTime":4.62,"body":"Hello. This speaker has been"},{"startTime":1.02,"endTime":4.62,"body":"recorded at a meeting of"},{"startTime":4.62,"endTime":9.0,"body":"Addictive Eaters Anonymous. For"},{"startTime":4.62,"endTime":9.0,"body":"more information, visit our"},{"startTime":9.0,"endTime":13.68,"body":"website www.AEAinfo.org"},{"startTime":15.58,"endTime":21.01,"body":"Thank you. Hi, I'm Katie. I'm an"},{"startTime":15.58,"endTime":21.01,"body":"addictive eater. I'm just"},{"startTime":21.04,"endTime":24.91,"body":"looking to the door because I"},{"startTime":21.04,"endTime":24.91,"body":"spoke to somebody today that I"},{"startTime":24.91,"endTime":27.94,"body":"saw at the place where I‘m"},{"startTime":24.91,"endTime":27.94,"body":"staying. He said he might come"},{"startTime":27.94,"endTime":31.96,"body":"to the meeting. So of course,"},{"startTime":27.94,"endTime":31.96,"body":"I'm optimistic, but it's good to"},{"startTime":31.96,"endTime":36.1,"body":"be able to share my story,"},{"startTime":31.96,"endTime":36.1,"body":"although I did wake up at 3.30"},{"startTime":36.1,"endTime":39.34,"body":"this morning thinking, ‘Oh no,"},{"startTime":36.1,"endTime":39.34,"body":"what am I going to share?‘ So"},{"startTime":39.34,"endTime":44.98,"body":"but it doesn't matter. In a"},{"startTime":39.34,"endTime":44.98,"body":"nutshell, my eating was very"},{"startTime":44.98,"endTime":50.44,"body":"painful. Food. I loved food when"},{"startTime":44.98,"endTime":50.44,"body":"I was young, but from a young"},{"startTime":50.47,"endTime":56.14,"body":"age, I started controlling my"},{"startTime":50.47,"endTime":56.14,"body":"eating, and then from then on,"},{"startTime":56.14,"endTime":61.81,"body":"food was the enemy. I always"},{"startTime":56.14,"endTime":61.81,"body":"wanted more, but I always tried"},{"startTime":61.81,"endTime":67.12,"body":"to be on a diet. So it was, it"},{"startTime":61.81,"endTime":67.12,"body":"was pretty painful for me from a"},{"startTime":67.12,"endTime":71.68,"body":"young age, yeah, once I started"},{"startTime":67.12,"endTime":71.68,"body":"eating, that compulsion started,"},{"startTime":71.68,"endTime":75.91,"body":"and it was hard for me to stop,"},{"startTime":71.68,"endTime":75.91,"body":"but then I hated myself for"},{"startTime":75.91,"endTime":80.98,"body":"that. So it was this constant"},{"startTime":75.91,"endTime":80.98,"body":"merry go round. And I'm really"},{"startTime":80.98,"endTime":85.66,"body":"grateful that when I came here,"},{"startTime":80.98,"endTime":85.66,"body":"I was able to hear some things"},{"startTime":85.66,"endTime":90.25,"body":"that were shared very clearly. I"},{"startTime":85.66,"endTime":90.25,"body":"remember my first meeting was in"},{"startTime":90.25,"endTime":95.23,"body":"the old church the Monday where"},{"startTime":90.25,"endTime":95.23,"body":"the Monday meeting was and no"},{"startTime":95.23,"endTime":98.65,"body":"longer is there because the"},{"startTime":95.23,"endTime":98.65,"body":"earthquake, of course, but I"},{"startTime":99.34,"endTime":103.63,"body":"remember walking up those"},{"startTime":99.34,"endTime":103.63,"body":"stairs, and I remember a few"},{"startTime":103.63,"endTime":107.38,"body":"members, not not much. I don't"},{"startTime":103.63,"endTime":107.38,"body":"think I remember anything that"},{"startTime":107.38,"endTime":113.77,"body":"was shared. I remember that it"},{"startTime":107.38,"endTime":113.77,"body":"was very quiet and it felt"},{"startTime":113.77,"endTime":118.69,"body":"really serious and really heavy,"},{"startTime":113.77,"endTime":118.69,"body":"whereas my denial with my"},{"startTime":118.69,"endTime":122.17,"body":"disease was, ‘everything's fine,"},{"startTime":118.69,"endTime":122.17,"body":"everything's wonderful. I'm not"},{"startTime":122.17,"endTime":127.63,"body":"that bad.‘ So the seriousness of"},{"startTime":122.17,"endTime":127.63,"body":"the meeting really struck me."},{"startTime":127.78,"endTime":131.95,"body":"Made me feel uncomfortable, and"},{"startTime":127.78,"endTime":131.95,"body":"I remember sharing and getting"},{"startTime":131.95,"endTime":136.33,"body":"very, very, very embarrassed,"},{"startTime":131.95,"endTime":136.33,"body":"like turning tomato red, but"},{"startTime":136.33,"endTime":139.51,"body":"that was pretty common for me."},{"startTime":136.33,"endTime":139.51,"body":"Still happens today, but not as"},{"startTime":139.51,"endTime":143.35,"body":"often. But then after the"},{"startTime":139.51,"endTime":143.35,"body":"meeting, someone phoned and"},{"startTime":143.35,"endTime":147.85,"body":"shared her story with me, and"},{"startTime":143.35,"endTime":147.85,"body":"like I say, I was able to hear a"},{"startTime":147.85,"endTime":153.22,"body":"few things. I mean, I know I"},{"startTime":147.85,"endTime":153.22,"body":"argued, and I know I was kind of"},{"startTime":153.22,"endTime":156.94,"body":"fighting what she was sharing,"},{"startTime":153.22,"endTime":156.94,"body":"even though, you know, she was"},{"startTime":156.94,"endTime":160.21,"body":"just reaching out to try and"},{"startTime":156.94,"endTime":160.21,"body":"help me. But some of the things"},{"startTime":160.21,"endTime":165.49,"body":"that I remember her talking"},{"startTime":160.21,"endTime":165.49,"body":"about this being a disease and"},{"startTime":165.52,"endTime":170.35,"body":"the disease of addiction, and"},{"startTime":165.52,"endTime":170.35,"body":"it's just like alcoholism, and"},{"startTime":170.35,"endTime":174.07,"body":"for an alcoholic to get sober,"},{"startTime":170.35,"endTime":174.07,"body":"for us to get sober as an"},{"startTime":174.07,"endTime":177.31,"body":"addictive eater, it's the same"},{"startTime":174.07,"endTime":177.31,"body":"as an alcoholic. We have to put"},{"startTime":177.31,"endTime":181.27,"body":"down the alcohol with food and"},{"startTime":177.31,"endTime":181.27,"body":"anything mind altering, because"},{"startTime":181.27,"endTime":185.32,"body":"addiction just switches from one"},{"startTime":181.27,"endTime":185.32,"body":"substance to another. So I did"},{"startTime":185.32,"endTime":190.15,"body":"hear that, and I did hear that"},{"startTime":185.32,"endTime":190.15,"body":"it gets progressively worse over"},{"startTime":190.15,"endTime":194.8,"body":"time, and that had been my"},{"startTime":190.15,"endTime":194.8,"body":"experience. I had periods where"},{"startTime":194.8,"endTime":199.78,"body":"I could diet and I could control"},{"startTime":194.8,"endTime":199.78,"body":"my eating, but they were getting"},{"startTime":199.78,"endTime":203.08,"body":"shorter and shorter, and my"},{"startTime":199.78,"endTime":203.08,"body":"binges were getting worse and"},{"startTime":203.08,"endTime":207.22,"body":"worse, and yeah, the self"},{"startTime":203.08,"endTime":207.22,"body":"loathing was getting worse. And"},{"startTime":207.22,"endTime":212.56,"body":"so I remember that, and I'm,"},{"startTime":207.22,"endTime":212.56,"body":"yeah, I'm forever grateful for"},{"startTime":212.56,"endTime":216.76,"body":"that message being clear, shared"},{"startTime":212.56,"endTime":216.76,"body":"so clearly with me. And you"},{"startTime":216.76,"endTime":219.91,"body":"know, often, when I get nervous"},{"startTime":216.76,"endTime":219.91,"body":"about sharing, I think, ‘well,"},{"startTime":220.15,"endTime":224.11,"body":"it, you know, who knows what a"},{"startTime":220.15,"endTime":224.11,"body":"person hears?‘ I just know"},{"startTime":224.11,"endTime":227.38,"body":"that's what I heard. And I think"},{"startTime":224.11,"endTime":227.38,"body":"part of it was because I was"},{"startTime":227.38,"endTime":231.16,"body":"ready. The time was right, and"},{"startTime":227.38,"endTime":231.16,"body":"that's what I believe is by"},{"startTime":231.16,"endTime":236.56,"body":"God's grace. And you know, the"},{"startTime":231.16,"endTime":236.56,"body":"fact that I came back, I also"},{"startTime":236.56,"endTime":240.13,"body":"believe is from a higher power."},{"startTime":236.56,"endTime":240.13,"body":"So I'm very, very grateful for"},{"startTime":240.13,"endTime":245.68,"body":"that. Yeah, as a result of that"},{"startTime":240.13,"endTime":245.68,"body":"conversation, I had a feeling of"},{"startTime":245.71,"endTime":249.4,"body":"peace and hope like I'd never"},{"startTime":245.71,"endTime":249.4,"body":"had before in my life, feeling"},{"startTime":249.4,"endTime":252.79,"body":"that I could be free. And we"},{"startTime":249.4,"endTime":252.79,"body":"talk about a pink cloud"},{"startTime":252.79,"endTime":257.35,"body":"experience, and it was a little"},{"startTime":252.79,"endTime":257.35,"body":"bit for me, like I felt this"},{"startTime":257.35,"endTime":261.37,"body":"heavy weight had been lifted. I"},{"startTime":257.35,"endTime":261.37,"body":"remember I went back to where I"},{"startTime":261.37,"endTime":266.23,"body":"lived, and there was a friend. I"},{"startTime":261.37,"endTime":266.23,"body":"met her for coffee, of course,"},{"startTime":266.23,"endTime":268.96,"body":"because I was still into that."},{"startTime":266.23,"endTime":268.96,"body":"And I remember telling her I was"},{"startTime":268.96,"endTime":273.79,"body":"so excited, you know, I was in"},{"startTime":268.96,"endTime":273.79,"body":"addictive eater, or overeater,"},{"startTime":273.79,"endTime":276.94,"body":"or whatever wording I used, and"},{"startTime":273.79,"endTime":276.94,"body":"I was just like an alcoholic and"},{"startTime":276.94,"endTime":281.2,"body":"I was going to be free. And she"},{"startTime":276.94,"endTime":281.2,"body":"just looked at me like I was"},{"startTime":281.2,"endTime":285.01,"body":"barmy. I did the same thing to"},{"startTime":281.2,"endTime":285.01,"body":"my parents, which probably"},{"startTime":285.01,"endTime":290.17,"body":"wasn't fun for them to hear. But"},{"startTime":285.01,"endTime":290.17,"body":"I genuinely was excited, but"},{"startTime":290.17,"endTime":295.15,"body":"that, again, was just my lack of"},{"startTime":290.17,"endTime":295.15,"body":"understanding of how this"},{"startTime":295.15,"endTime":298.0,"body":"disease had affected me in all"},{"startTime":295.15,"endTime":298.0,"body":"areas of my life, because it"},{"startTime":298.0,"endTime":302.29,"body":"really did take me time. Time"},{"startTime":298.0,"endTime":302.29,"body":"from that experience to learn"},{"startTime":302.32,"endTime":306.37,"body":"that this is a way of life. It"},{"startTime":302.32,"endTime":306.37,"body":"didn't, even though I had that"},{"startTime":306.55,"endTime":311.8,"body":"spiritual awakening, if you want"},{"startTime":306.55,"endTime":311.8,"body":"to call it that, it's it didn't."},{"startTime":311.92,"endTime":315.88,"body":"It didn't mean I then knew how"},{"startTime":311.92,"endTime":315.88,"body":"to live this way of life. It"},{"startTime":315.88,"endTime":319.6,"body":"just gave me a desire in my"},{"startTime":315.88,"endTime":319.6,"body":"heart to want to keep coming"},{"startTime":319.6,"endTime":323.47,"body":"back. So I'm really, really"},{"startTime":319.6,"endTime":323.47,"body":"grateful for that and just all"},{"startTime":323.47,"endTime":327.85,"body":"the help I got from so many"},{"startTime":323.47,"endTime":327.85,"body":"members in the beginning, about"},{"startTime":328.03,"endTime":331.57,"body":"‘First Things First‘, you know,"},{"startTime":328.03,"endTime":331.57,"body":"having a food plan, keeping it"},{"startTime":331.57,"endTime":336.52,"body":"squeaky clean, that took me a"},{"startTime":331.57,"endTime":336.52,"body":"long time. I was just joking"},{"startTime":336.52,"endTime":340.12,"body":"about that last night, actually,"},{"startTime":336.52,"endTime":340.12,"body":"about how it took me about two"},{"startTime":340.12,"endTime":344.17,"body":"years to learn how to eat my"},{"startTime":340.12,"endTime":344.17,"body":"meals on time because I was"},{"startTime":344.17,"endTime":348.25,"body":"always wanting to eat them"},{"startTime":344.17,"endTime":348.25,"body":"early, or something else, some"},{"startTime":348.25,"endTime":351.31,"body":"other things that were"},{"startTime":348.25,"endTime":351.31,"body":"undisciplined because I was"},{"startTime":351.34,"endTime":357.31,"body":"disorganized. So I'm grateful"},{"startTime":351.34,"endTime":357.31,"body":"for all that help that I got to"},{"startTime":357.31,"endTime":361.66,"body":"learn how to know just basic"},{"startTime":357.31,"endTime":361.66,"body":"don't pick up that first one,"},{"startTime":362.11,"endTime":365.35,"body":"get to a meeting and help"},{"startTime":362.11,"endTime":365.35,"body":"somebody else. I needed to hear"},{"startTime":365.35,"endTime":371.02,"body":"that over and over and over"},{"startTime":365.35,"endTime":371.02,"body":"again, and today it's probably"},{"startTime":371.02,"endTime":374.86,"body":"back to basics for me again,"},{"startTime":371.02,"endTime":374.86,"body":"actually, because, you know, I"},{"startTime":374.86,"endTime":379.63,"body":"live in a different place to my"},{"startTime":374.86,"endTime":379.63,"body":"sponsor, and you know, I think"},{"startTime":379.63,"endTime":382.63,"body":"I'm willing to go to any"},{"startTime":379.63,"endTime":382.63,"body":"lengths. And I think I'm honest"},{"startTime":382.63,"endTime":388.03,"body":"and open minded and willing. But"},{"startTime":382.63,"endTime":388.03,"body":"I know when I was new, I"},{"startTime":388.09,"endTime":391.72,"body":"remember reading or learning"},{"startTime":388.09,"endTime":391.72,"body":"about where it says in the book"},{"startTime":391.72,"endTime":397.6,"body":"half measures availed us"},{"startTime":391.72,"endTime":397.6,"body":"nothing. And I thought my"},{"startTime":397.6,"endTime":402.43,"body":"experience is that 95% measures"},{"startTime":397.6,"endTime":402.43,"body":"availed me nothing, because in"},{"startTime":402.43,"endTime":406.93,"body":"the beginning, like I say, I"},{"startTime":402.43,"endTime":406.93,"body":"really loved the 12 steps in"},{"startTime":406.93,"endTime":411.37,"body":"sobriety, going to meetings, you"},{"startTime":406.93,"endTime":411.37,"body":"know, I loved all those things,"},{"startTime":411.37,"endTime":415.63,"body":"but there was still a sneaky"},{"startTime":411.37,"endTime":415.63,"body":"part of me like that, 5% of me"},{"startTime":415.63,"endTime":419.2,"body":"that didn't want to be fully"},{"startTime":415.63,"endTime":419.2,"body":"honest, or didn't want to give"},{"startTime":419.2,"endTime":422.65,"body":"myself completely to this"},{"startTime":419.2,"endTime":422.65,"body":"program. Still wanted to be"},{"startTime":422.65,"endTime":426.28,"body":"obsessed with boyfriends, or, I"},{"startTime":422.65,"endTime":426.28,"body":"don't know, thinking I wanted a"},{"startTime":426.28,"endTime":430.93,"body":"life or something, and yeah, so"},{"startTime":426.28,"endTime":430.93,"body":"it just took me more eating to"},{"startTime":430.93,"endTime":434.74,"body":"be completely convinced that I"},{"startTime":430.93,"endTime":434.74,"body":"had to give myself completely to"},{"startTime":434.74,"endTime":438.67,"body":"this simple way of life. Follow"},{"startTime":434.74,"endTime":438.67,"body":"a few simple rules, I think it"},{"startTime":438.67,"endTime":441.76,"body":"calls it in the big book. I'm"},{"startTime":438.67,"endTime":441.76,"body":"not a very good rule follower,"},{"startTime":441.76,"endTime":446.44,"body":"so that took me time to be"},{"startTime":441.76,"endTime":446.44,"body":"convinced. And yeah, I feel like"},{"startTime":446.44,"endTime":450.64,"body":"I'm back to that place right"},{"startTime":446.44,"endTime":450.64,"body":"now, actually, of just being"},{"startTime":451.0,"endTime":456.1,"body":"100% willing to be honest and"},{"startTime":451.0,"endTime":456.1,"body":"open minded and willing, yeah."},{"startTime":456.1,"endTime":462.55,"body":"So as a result, I have a really"},{"startTime":456.1,"endTime":462.55,"body":"great life today. When I was"},{"startTime":462.58,"endTime":467.5,"body":"new, all I wanted to hear were"},{"startTime":462.58,"endTime":467.5,"body":"was rags to riches stories,"},{"startTime":467.5,"endTime":471.61,"body":"because I had no money. So I"},{"startTime":467.5,"endTime":471.61,"body":"wanted to hear you were down and"},{"startTime":471.61,"endTime":474.91,"body":"out. You were a bum in the"},{"startTime":471.61,"endTime":474.91,"body":"gutter, and now you're rich. And"},{"startTime":474.97,"endTime":479.68,"body":"you know, wealthy and living"},{"startTime":474.97,"endTime":479.68,"body":"well. And you know it is true"},{"startTime":479.68,"endTime":483.97,"body":"that materially, things get"},{"startTime":479.68,"endTime":483.97,"body":"taken care of. If we get sober"},{"startTime":483.97,"endTime":487.69,"body":"and we get well, we can work and"},{"startTime":483.97,"endTime":487.69,"body":"be productive and yeah, so"},{"startTime":487.69,"endTime":492.19,"body":"materially things do get taken"},{"startTime":487.69,"endTime":492.19,"body":"care of as a result of this way"},{"startTime":492.19,"endTime":496.96,"body":"of life, but it's about so much"},{"startTime":492.19,"endTime":496.96,"body":"more than that. It's about the"},{"startTime":496.96,"endTime":502.63,"body":"thinking and being free of that"},{"startTime":496.96,"endTime":502.63,"body":"thinking. So I'm not listening"},{"startTime":502.63,"endTime":509.38,"body":"to myself. And so anyway, I'm"},{"startTime":502.63,"endTime":509.38,"body":"I'm very, very grateful that I"},{"startTime":509.38,"endTime":514.21,"body":"can live comfortably in my own"},{"startTime":509.38,"endTime":514.21,"body":"skin most of the time today, I"},{"startTime":514.21,"endTime":519.76,"body":"don't hate myself. And you know,"},{"startTime":514.21,"endTime":519.76,"body":"when I do have a problem, like"},{"startTime":519.76,"endTime":523.3,"body":"waking up at 3.30 in the morning"},{"startTime":519.76,"endTime":523.3,"body":"with a noisy head. You know,"},{"startTime":523.3,"endTime":526.39,"body":"there is a solution. We have the"},{"startTime":523.3,"endTime":526.39,"body":"12 steps. We have prayer and"},{"startTime":526.39,"endTime":530.62,"body":"meditation. I have the"},{"startTime":526.39,"endTime":530.62,"body":"fellowship and sponsorship, of"},{"startTime":530.62,"endTime":536.44,"body":"course, is extremely important,"},{"startTime":530.62,"endTime":536.44,"body":"because I can't sponsor myself."},{"startTime":536.5,"endTime":540.16,"body":"I can't think, ‘Okay, I got this"},{"startTime":536.5,"endTime":540.16,"body":"now and I'll just do it the way"},{"startTime":540.16,"endTime":543.67,"body":"I want to do it.‘ That would not"},{"startTime":540.16,"endTime":543.67,"body":"work. Sorry, I'm always asking"},{"startTime":543.67,"endTime":548.35,"body":"questions. How long do I speak"},{"startTime":543.67,"endTime":548.35,"body":"for? Or is it just my choice?"},{"startTime":548.53,"endTime":552.67,"body":"Okay, thank you. All right, so"},{"startTime":548.53,"endTime":552.67,"body":"I‘ll just share a little bit"},{"startTime":552.67,"endTime":556.81,"body":"more about what it's like for me"},{"startTime":552.67,"endTime":556.81,"body":"today. I don't know. I'm trying"},{"startTime":556.81,"endTime":561.19,"body":"to remember what I wanted to"},{"startTime":556.81,"endTime":561.19,"body":"hear about when I was new. I"},{"startTime":561.19,"endTime":564.91,"body":"love hearing when people talk"},{"startTime":561.19,"endTime":564.91,"body":"about how they screwed up. I"},{"startTime":564.91,"endTime":568.12,"body":"don't know if I liked hearing"},{"startTime":564.91,"endTime":568.12,"body":"that when I was new. I think I"},{"startTime":568.12,"endTime":571.51,"body":"always did. There was a guy who"},{"startTime":568.12,"endTime":571.51,"body":"always used to share in meetings"},{"startTime":571.51,"endTime":575.41,"body":"about peeing his pants when he"},{"startTime":571.51,"endTime":575.41,"body":"was drinking. And I don't know,"},{"startTime":576.04,"endTime":579.97,"body":"I always like hearing the nitty"},{"startTime":576.04,"endTime":579.97,"body":"gritty stories of what we did,"},{"startTime":580.03,"endTime":584.14,"body":"what we did, and then I like"},{"startTime":580.03,"endTime":584.14,"body":"hearing it says in the book how"},{"startTime":584.14,"endTime":588.04,"body":"we admit our faults to each"},{"startTime":584.14,"endTime":588.04,"body":"other. And I've always believed"},{"startTime":588.04,"endTime":593.65,"body":"in that, that if I share the"},{"startTime":588.04,"endTime":593.65,"body":"worst part of me, like my my"},{"startTime":593.65,"endTime":598.06,"body":"strengths are not going to lead"},{"startTime":593.65,"endTime":598.06,"body":"me back to the food, but my"},{"startTime":598.06,"endTime":602.05,"body":"defects or the things that I"},{"startTime":598.06,"endTime":602.05,"body":"struggle with may. So if I'm"},{"startTime":602.08,"endTime":605.83,"body":"honest about those things, yeah,"},{"startTime":602.08,"endTime":605.83,"body":"I don't know. It just seems to"},{"startTime":605.83,"endTime":610.51,"body":"work for me. So Step 10, right?"},{"startTime":605.83,"endTime":610.51,"body":"We admit it when we're wrong. So"},{"startTime":610.54,"endTime":613.81,"body":"yesterday, what did I do? Yeah,"},{"startTime":610.54,"endTime":613.81,"body":"just to give an example, I want"},{"startTime":613.81,"endTime":615.31,"body":"to be better than I am."},{"startTime":615.3,"endTime":619.179,"body":"I want to be a better driver"},{"startTime":615.3,"endTime":619.179,"body":"than I am, like last night,"},{"startTime":619.248,"endTime":623.335,"body":"driving, reverse, back, crunch,"},{"startTime":619.248,"endTime":623.335,"body":"oh God, backed into a bush."},{"startTime":623.404,"endTime":627.491,"body":"Thankfully, the happy ending to"},{"startTime":623.404,"endTime":627.491,"body":"the story is my car was not"},{"startTime":627.56,"endTime":631.993,"body":"scratched and the bush was okay."},{"startTime":627.56,"endTime":631.993,"body":"But I know I just, I don't know"},{"startTime":632.062,"endTime":636.219,"body":"if other people need as much"},{"startTime":632.062,"endTime":636.219,"body":"help living life as I do, but I"},{"startTime":636.288,"endTime":640.582,"body":"just seem to need a lot of help"},{"startTime":636.288,"endTime":640.582,"body":"doing simple things. You know,"},{"startTime":640.652,"endTime":644.808,"body":"my husband's coming to join me"},{"startTime":640.652,"endTime":644.808,"body":"on holiday, and I thought I'm"},{"startTime":644.877,"endTime":648.964,"body":"not a very nice wife because"},{"startTime":644.877,"endTime":648.964,"body":"he's been gone. I've been gone"},{"startTime":649.033,"endTime":653.12,"body":"for seven days, and I haven't"},{"startTime":649.033,"endTime":653.12,"body":"missed him yet. Oh, sorry. He"},{"startTime":653.189,"endTime":657.415,"body":"won't listen to this. But I, you"},{"startTime":653.189,"endTime":657.415,"body":"know, I was really glad that"},{"startTime":657.484,"endTime":661.848,"body":"today I did, so thank you God,"},{"startTime":657.484,"endTime":661.848,"body":"I'm not as I'm not all that bad."},{"startTime":661.917,"endTime":666.004,"body":"But yeah, so I I really need"},{"startTime":661.917,"endTime":666.004,"body":"this way of life so that I can"},{"startTime":666.073,"endTime":670.506,"body":"function as a reasonably decent"},{"startTime":666.073,"endTime":670.506,"body":"person. And I will just end with"},{"startTime":670.576,"endTime":674.801,"body":"this one story. It was really,"},{"startTime":670.576,"endTime":674.801,"body":"really the highlight of my day"},{"startTime":674.87,"endTime":679.165,"body":"today, or one of the highlights"},{"startTime":674.87,"endTime":679.165,"body":"of my day today was, you know,"},{"startTime":679.234,"endTime":683.044,"body":"sitting in the sauna at the"},{"startTime":679.234,"endTime":683.044,"body":"place that I'm staying. And"},{"startTime":683.113,"endTime":687.269,"body":"these two guys started talking"},{"startTime":683.113,"endTime":687.269,"body":"about how much food they were"},{"startTime":687.339,"endTime":691.702,"body":"eating, five liters of ice cream"},{"startTime":687.339,"endTime":691.702,"body":"a day, three pizzas a day. And"},{"startTime":691.772,"endTime":695.928,"body":"then he said, ‘Lady, what do you"},{"startTime":691.772,"endTime":695.928,"body":"think of that?‘ And I said,"},{"startTime":695.997,"endTime":699.945,"body":"‘Well, funny, you ask. I'm"},{"startTime":695.997,"endTime":699.945,"body":"really glad you did, actually,"},{"startTime":700.015,"endTime":704.309,"body":"because, yeah, I'm a member of"},{"startTime":700.015,"endTime":704.309,"body":"this and that this program, and"},{"startTime":704.379,"endTime":708.881,"body":"then I could just share a little"},{"startTime":704.379,"endTime":708.881,"body":"bit. And he was like, ‘you don't"},{"startTime":708.95,"endTime":712.552,"body":"look like you need that"},{"startTime":708.95,"endTime":712.552,"body":"program.‘ And I said, ‘Well,"},{"startTime":712.621,"endTime":716.57,"body":"I've been coming for a while,"},{"startTime":712.621,"endTime":716.57,"body":"and, you know, once I start"},{"startTime":716.639,"endTime":721.003,"body":"eating, I can't stop.‘ He goes,"},{"startTime":716.639,"endTime":721.003,"body":"‘really,‘ goes, ‘I'm like that,"},{"startTime":721.072,"endTime":725.298,"body":"you know, I can't stop either,"},{"startTime":721.072,"endTime":725.298,"body":"and I think I have a problem.‘"},{"startTime":725.367,"endTime":729.8,"body":"So anyway, that was, that was a"},{"startTime":725.367,"endTime":729.8,"body":"beautiful God shot for me today."},{"startTime":729.869,"endTime":734.164,"body":"So it's good to be here. It's"},{"startTime":729.869,"endTime":734.164,"body":"good to be sober. Thank you very"},{"startTime":734.233,"endTime":734.58,"body":"much."}]}