Carry On Friends: The Caribbean American Experience
Carry On Friends has an unmistakable Caribbean-American essence. Hosted by the dynamic and engaging Kerry-Ann Reid-Brown, the podcast takes listeners on a global journey, deeply rooted in Caribbean culture. It serves as a melting pot of inspiring stories, light-hearted anecdotes, and stimulating perspectives that provoke thought and initiate conversations.
The podcast invites guests who enrich the narrative with their unique experiences and insights into Caribbean culture and identity. With an array of topics covered - from lifestyle and wellness to travel, entertainment, career, and entrepreneurship - it encapsulates the diverse facets of the Caribbean American experience. Catering to an international audience, Carry On Friends effectively bridges cultural gaps, uniting listeners under a shared love and appreciation for Caribbean culture.
Carry On Friends: The Caribbean American Experience
Reframing Competition and Collaborative Success
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
What if competition, typically viewed as a negative force, could be reframed as a catalyst for collaboration and growth? The friends - Chris and Mikelah are back and we're discussing how a healthy competitive spirit can be the key to fostering collective advancement and empowering one another.
In our discussion, we try to define competition and explore whether competition is considered "bad mind" and jealously. We champion the idea of appreciating collaboration, working together, and celebrating collective success rather than fostering an unproductive "me versus you" mindset.
We delve into our personal journeys, sharing how we overcame the challenges of negative collaborations and learned to trust our instincts. We invite you to join us as we explore these dynamics, emphasizing the necessity of a collaborative mindset and shedding light on how to thrive amidst competition.
Stay connected with us on social media for more enriching discussions - we promise this is one conversation you won't want to miss!
Connect with Chris & Mikelah on Instagram
Support How to Support Carry On Friends
- Donate: If you believe in our mission and want to help amplify Caribbean voices, consider making a donation.
- Get Merch: Support Carry On Friends by purchasing merchandise from our store.
Connect with @carryonfriends - Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
A Breadfruit Media Production
Exploring Competition and Its Perception
Speaker 1Hey everyone , welcome back to another episode of Carry On Friends , the Caribbean American podcast . I am back with the friends . It is MCKKMCCKM , however you want to say it . The friends are Bac . Welcome back Michaela , who is a veteran , yes , yes . And the stranger , chris . You have not been on the podcast for a while , welcome .
Speaker 2Well , I'm not a stranger , but I'll take the welcome , thank you . Thanks for having me . When I think stranger , I think danger , so there's no danger .
Speaker 1I don't know why , but I do know why .
Speaker 1Well you are family and the friends are back and we are going to talk about competing competition . And before we get into this discussion , I guess I should give some background right . So I did an interview at White Yachty and I was explaining how we are like a co-operative because in a general business sense carry on friends style and vibes where it's at we are competitors within the space , but even though we're considered competitors , we are cooperating and partnering and collaborating with each other . So collectively we grow and through that collective partnership or individual platforms kind of grow right , but we are competitors and to see ourselves differently in a business situation doesn't make sense because that's what New York State or any other publication would look at us as competition .
Speaker 1And so when I clarified that , he was like oh yeah , cool , fine , but it made me think of why he's not the first time or it's not the first time I hear people strongly defend or explain why they don't compete or they're not in competition . And then if you look on social media , there's a lot of posts that people aren't jealous , they don't compete , they're in lanes by themselves and yeah , those things are fine . But I so I wanted to have the friends over to chat to see how we feel about the word competes , competition or feelings , and , you know , get to understand what is good competition , bad competition and etc . So with that , let's us kick it off with the gentleman in the room Chris , what ?
Speaker 1is your thoughts on a kind of something like Bonte a while ago . What ?
Speaker 2is your thoughts ? Yes , what was my thoughts ?
Speaker 2So , so , so here's the thing when I look back . Recently I was just in , I was in Tulsa right for this Black owned media conference and part of that area Black Wall Street , of course , as we know was bombed and in that area there was a movie theater the largest movie theater in that area Black owned and across the street was another movie theater . Now the owner of the original large movie theater welcomed her neighbor who had a smaller theater to the neighborhood and showed a lot of love and support because in her mind she saw it as an opportunity for people who couldn't fit in her theater to be able to fit in this other person's theater . So their , her mindset was let's work together so that we can help everybody in the community have access to be able to see films and experience , have this whole movie experience right . Fast forward a little bit . You have , you know , jet magazine , ebony magazine , essence magazine and Black Enterprise and all these founders . You know Earl Graves , the Johnsons and oh my God , I don't know why , the gentleman from Essence just their names just jumped out of my head but the original , original founders of Essence magazine . They all worked together , they partnered when they went to see these big ad agencies , when they went to to get ads because , in their mind , if all these black media publications were working together , were collaborating , they could get more right and that would push them further .
Speaker 2Now did they compete ? Probably , you know , because I don't think it's like running a race , right , you know , it doesn't make you if you , if you came third , fourth or fifth , it doesn't make you the worst in the world , because you still had people that were cheering for you . You still had people that that saw you , that recognize you , that saw your talent . So you had to have talent to be in the race to compete .
Speaker 2But I just look at it from a different lens in that I believe it's , it's it needs to be seen and projected as something that's healthy , as opposed to this dog eat dog kind of a position you know like oh , you know you , I'm better than you , I got more than you to offer , and blah , blah , blah . And so then what that , what that breeds is , is this environment where you're not working together , you're not talking to each other because you want to outshine the next person . You know , I feel like the competition , as long as it's healthy , as long as you're fostering growth within each other and you're encouraging each other and lifting each other up , then that's a good thing . So I don't know , that's probably a long way to say it .
Speaker 1No , man , I think it's perfect . Which means that Menonifa asked me , kayla , how should feel . But just want to jump on what you said . So I think I think generally we can agree that , based on what we see on social media , when people here compete , they think yo , your bad mind , your grudgeful , you're like that . Those are the types of response I hear and see when it comes to competition . So some people might say , no , I don't think competition is only bad mind . But , michaela , I guess from your point of view , you said to me the other day in a conversation that social media reflects real world or real life . So talk to me a little bit about why people have this negative view of competition . And maybe they are not confusing it but interweaving some of the bad mind , grudgeful , jealousy , envious thing experiences as competition and that's why competition is bad .
Speaker 3I think we're exposed to competition very early in life , right , especially if you go to like grade school . You're naturally competing in a sense . So I think it's become a defense mechanism to say I'm not competing because essentially you don't want to be perceived as someone who is bad mind I mean a grudger and then something . But I think it's important to understand that you can be in competition and be okay with who you are as a person , because steel sharpens steel . If there were no one doing anything that you wanted to do , you wouldn't want to do it . It's very lonely to be in the space by yourself , in any space by yourself . We're not meant to be in spaces solo . So when you have a gather of community , there's going to be a natural inclination to compete for limited opportunity , and so I think that in real life that plays out and social media kind of just amplifies both sides of that . So it amplifies the negative thoughts and things that people say and kind of reinforces the thought process .
Speaker 3I'm a firm believer that social media is just a reflective , amplified version of how we truly think .
Speaker 3This is why your feed looks different from my feed and once you feel a certain way about what you're looking at every day and you become aware of it , then you change that .
Speaker 3You change that by the type of content that you consume or what you're looking at , what you're commenting on and things of that nature .
Speaker 3So I think the idea that social media has really amplified the thoughts around it being bad mind , I think it kind of just adds fuel to the fire . But those thoughts have always been part of the psyche and we continuously have to do work on a daily basis to really reflect and say that no , it's not necessarily a bad thing . It's how I approach it is where the intention , the intention , needs to be pure and I think only you truly know what your intent is , and I think that that often plays out more with your own intent . You start to create stories and make up things in your head before they even actually play out , and we all do this . We all play out scenarios in our head without actually going through the motions of them , based on our own experiences . But I also think that it's important to kind of catch yourself so that you understand what these messages really mean and how they impact you on a daily basis .
Speaker 1I mean perfect example . Today someone suggested something to me and I was like , yeah , I think that could be a good idea . I need to validate it . But at the same time I was like wait , I don't want this . And this person just started telling them about semifala . Because , even though it's not my intention , like you said , Michaela , we start to start thinking like maybe that's what this person is thinking , and I had to snap out of that . I was like that's not nothing for doing with me and maybe it was because I know I was preparing to have this conversation .
Speaker 1It's a lot of whether a lot of us agree or want to admit we care about what other people think of us and how other people perceive us . So we start having these thoughts and then we're like , no , I'm not competing , but I'm not going to compete with . No men are jealous . My concern is , in this day of social media , are we truly preparing people to be emotionally intelligent and equipped ? Because there's no doctor , no psychologist , no preacher , no , nobody in this world can say that you won't experience jealousy as long as you're a human and you're alive . You'll experience it , and it's your awareness of what is causing me to be jealous and why and why I keep digging like that . And I think people are afraid to be perceived as jealous and have them in them , feelings or a certain way . Those are natural things . What's unnatural is not trying to be introspective and investigating why we feel a certain way .
Speaker 3So I can't get it out of my head . I feel a way .
Speaker 1Listen . So , um , mikaela , what's the guy who was on the podcast and he was trying to do like a black version of our Airbnb ? I can't remember his name , dang it . He was on the podcast a few years ago and I remember .
Speaker 3I don't remember my name . I don't know your type .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think he was in the show notes , but we did an episode on his podcast and he was like I don't worry about competition . And he's like , yeah , when people are like , what about the competition , what the competition is doing , he's like I don't worry about competition . In fact , I start businesses when there where there's a lot of competition , because in his head he's like the more competition , the more the market is established and the more there's an opportunity to make money . That's how he saw it . And so if there's a place and I remember there was an interview with the guy from industrious a few years ago and industrious is almost like a competitor to we work he used to be a lawyer . He said the same thing we , we are not worried about the competition . Competition is a validation that the market is mature enough to get into the market and generate revenue .
Speaker 1Now , how you differentiate yourself is a whole different thing . So I guess , chris , given that we're having this conversation and we're having a conversation and I interviewed him , so on a jumpy when and already , all right , if we have this mindset about competition , how does that ? What are we redirecting collaboration on ? So if , if we don't compete , then what is collaboration , because I feel like they're shifting the definition to something else and what really supposed to be collaboration is not really collaboration , because some people have some interesting collaboration stories . So , based on how people think of competition , how does that possibly have downstream effects in terms of collaborating with people looking at opportunities , those types of things ?
Speaker 2You know , it's funny that you said that so . So I think Michaela , you might have said it , and Carrie , I don't know , you co-assigned it . So if you go into something , your mindset is everything right . So if you go into a situation where you're creating this business and you know you , you think of competition a certain way and even though you may say , oh well , you know , I'm not competing because my what I'm doing is better or it's different or whatever , it's unique , so I'm not competing , I'm in my lane , but then you don't have a true understanding and appreciation for collaboration . Then all you're going to be doing is just , you're just focused by yourself . You're just . It's just going to be a selfish situation .
Speaker 2And look , some people may say there's nothing wrong with that . You know you , you're going to live in your bubble and do what you do . But the reality of it is we all are on this planet together for a reason we need each other to survive . We need each other to thrive , to grow , to flourish .
Collaboration for Success
Speaker 2So my idea is this like we knew when we started where it's , at that , there were a few players in the space , but not enough . So but but what we knew ? The space was going to grow . So we decided to enter into the space to be able to provide a broader offering , right ? But at the same time , we're not watching nobody .
Speaker 2You know I'm not studying who's doing what or anything like that . As a matter of fact , most times I'm hearing after the fact that somebody did XYZ For me . I'm like , okay , that's fine , the lane I'm in and what , what I'm building and what I'm doing . I'm defining and my dad is defining , we're defining together what it is that we're building . But at the same time , I know that we can't get there by ourselves .
Speaker 2They , what's what's , what's the , what's the expression ? Go . If you want to go fast , go alone . If you want to go farther , you know , go with someone else . Or go with a team , go with a group , right ? So my goal is I want to go farther . I'm not interested in running , you know , in a sprint I'm a long distance runner , you know , you know so . So my thing is I want to go far , as far as humanly possible . I want to traverse the world , the globe . So , with that mindset , I believe in the importance of collaboration and I believe the unfortunate thing is , I think the young people today don't have a true and not all , but but from what I've seen with my own interactions with folks , don't have a really true understanding of what collaboration is , don't have a have a true understanding of the value of collaboration and what it brings .
Speaker 1Chris , we're not going to be ages . It's not just young people's song .
Speaker 2Well , okay , so , so , okay , no , no , no . So , yeah , let me . You're absolutely right , Let me modify that . Yes , I think that there are people today , young and old , that don't understand , You're absolutely right , don't understand collaboration and what it is . Because the reality , if you took a stock of what collaboration is and how valuable it is , we as a people would be further along .
Speaker 2Think about how we all , the three of us here , as you explained Carrie Ann , you have Carrie on friends , michaela , you have style and vibes , me and my dad , we have where it's at . You know , there is nothing here in me , as far as I see , that makes me want to say , oh , I can't do it with them . I'm going to release that secret , then I'm going to do it first . I don't think that way . I think yo , carrie Ann , michaela , me , the Trio , I did job , I trip a trip , them can't stop with . You know what I'm saying .
Speaker 2I feel like if we get to , we put our heads together . They always say two heads is better than one . Then what you think three heads is our four heads , our five heads . I mean we put , put all our resources together , we work together , we can go further , we can go farther . So , you know , I think people need to learn that and study that and really appreciate and value collaboration , not necessarily over competition . I think the two can can be side by side . You know , because even though you know we're working together , you know I still look at what Carrie , what you're doing Carrie , what you're doing Michaela , and I'm like yo look like not for a tweak up some things on , not if I you know because , Because it adds a little spice and a little sauce .
Speaker 2But I'm not . It's not in a way where it's unhealthy , it's more so , like yo , they did something dope . I like that . Can I add a little twist to it ? Can I do it ? And then I'll call you up like yo , michaela , but just drop this . Or Terry , I just did this . What you think it's not , it's healthy , you know , but but , but it's , it's how it's done . They can't be bad intent . They can't be me trying to cut you so that I can get more advertisers , so that I can get more business . Then it's shady . Dennis Badmine , dennis Jellos , dennis Covetos , covetos .
Speaker 3Covetos , covetos , covetos .
Speaker 1They learned new words , big words too . Covetos , watch me , I'm not using for the video .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 3No , but I think you hit the nail on the head , chris , where you know , as you started to kind of get into your comment , you could hear how competition was fun for you . And let's face it , competition can be so much fun Too picnic , am I real . So you know , much like excitement goes into competition . That people get excited Like one person running is like okay , but then you get two people running it's like , oh , now we got a game going , we have , we have something to kind of entertain .
Speaker 3The competition can be entertaining , I think , when it overly consumes who you are and distracts you from your goal , like may I use the same example where I would lend them . You know you own a limb . You often look left , I look right , change and lend . You often look left or right for pass , but when you're in your lane you're going straight . But when you need to pivot and you need to get off the road and you need to do this , you're going to have to look around and see what else is out there , because it's just not you by yourself and , trust me , if it's you by yourself , it's bored .
Speaker 1I mean , since we're the top vote , lean , I mean we have to talk about , I mean as a people , we . There's no way you could , you could , you can idolize or say you know , your read Steve Jobs , Michael Jordan , steph Curry , lebron , all of them , you know Kobe , they're all competitors , like notoriously competitors . I think what people don't understand is , like off court , they're different people but you can't say you respect Oprah . You can't say , like they have to compete and I remember there was an interview Oprah was like she was telling her executives don't worry about what the others are doing , let's just focus on what we're doing . But it didn't say . She didn't say don't worry about competing with them .
Speaker 1We know we're competing , but let's focus on what we do best you know in in the space of competition , and I think that's where we need to define it . I mean , let's take track and feel like you know , shelly Sharika , of course we had thought of the Jamaicans and all of them . They're individual competitors , right , but when it comes time for the , really I guess what I'm doing . They're his one team , the Jamaican women's , four by one team , right ?
Speaker 2So working together .
Speaker 1Exactly Right . And so , yes , you can compete individually , but you can also compete as a team . And I feel like we , we often compare ourselves to other groups cultural group , ethnic groups and how far they are , and I think I find they may have a healthier view of competition than than we do . It's what I see on a daily basis . They do . They may not like you personally and and and , but they were like you know what . We will work together because we have a common goal . Right , that's how that's the levels .
Speaker 1All right , maybe someone went up on the level because you know we are Caribbean people , spirit off a take it the spirit , don't take you , and not going to work . Right , but there's a level of maturity in understanding that we have a , we have a shared goal . And how are we going to move towards a shared goal ? And I think it's also important that the three of us and I agree , we are like the triplets activate like wonder triplets at this point . Right , we all are carrying different weights . Right , you remember the event we did Michaela , boom that Chris , you do that , me , do that . Right , we are activating in our own strengths in order to grow , and I think we you know , it's just having these conversations . I think having hard conversations as friends is challenging in a social media world where people spend more time communicating on social media as opposed to maybe more in person communication .
Speaker 2So you know , you said something , carrie , and I don't want this to be missed . You said we're , we're activating different strengths , right , so you have something that you're , you're skilled you're even more skilled at than me and Michaela , same with you , and so forth . So we each have have our own unique talents , our own strengths , and so it makes it , gives us an edge in that particular area , and that's healthy . There's nothing wrong with that . And see , see , I don't know , I don't know at what point it got distorted and at what point we felt , started to feel like competition is a bad thing , and I don't know why , but for as long as I know , there's been competition . I mean , you know , we can go back to Africa , we can go to the Romans , the Greeks , you know there's , there's always been competition . There's nothing wrong with it . It's all about now , like you said , you know what's , what's the mindset .
Speaker 2How are you entering into this space of competition ? How are you viewing those people who you perceive as your competitors ? Are they , you know , are you ? Are they they beneath you ? Are they people who you respect and want to work with and build a relationship with and grow
Approaching Collaboration and Competition
Speaker 2with ? And for me , for the most part , I would have to say , even in the space that I'm in , most most of my well , maybe most is strong is to , but but I would have to say , a fair amount of the people that are are competitors I have a great deal of respect for .
Speaker 2There are some , because of their how I view them in the community , I view them as as robbers of the community . Some of those I don't have respect for and so I won't work with them and so I don't even , and because of that I don't see them as competition , I just see them as thieves . And so you know , when I view as a thief , you're not , you're on afterthoughts , You're not even a thought . You know , I don't even . I'm not going to say I'm not named a name . What do I say ?
Speaker 2I don't want to work , but but you have to have those in mind . You know , you have to know who the people are , the people that are good people , that are people that you want to work with , that you respect , that you want to see grow the way you grow , and then you work with them to to make that happen . And I think that's what we need to strive towards as we think about competition . Strive towards not . You can't , you should not exclude the collaborative piece , you know , because , again , that's the only way we can grow as a people , and that's a big challenge that we have . Is that growth , you know , and that growth in unison , you know , soft , that's my thoughts .
Speaker 1When I first met Mikaela in 2014, . We do a big pow-wow in the New York public library and I mean , I'm not sure definitively where Carry On Friends would be , but collaborating with Mikaela since 2014-2015 , it's a completely different thing . Can we operate by ourselves ? You're the second guest , you're the home , you're the ha . Mikaela said why are you fit to do this ? No more than me . So you kind of need that . It's like you know , it's that , it's that , it's that prodding , it's that pushing and then- .
Speaker 2Pouring into you're pouring into each other . That's what y'all are doing .
Speaker 1Yeah , so it's . I guess . What is the mindset or how do we help people or what can we suggest for people to reframe how they approach collaboration ? Because , let's be clear , you know , and all three of us you just thought about it all three of us have experienced or have been burned by collaboration or lack thereof . We've all been there , but that doesn't deter us from collaborating . It just means that , well , why is that to the table About who we should be collaborating with ? So let's first address people who may have had bad experiences with collaboration .
Speaker 1Yo , somebody really did them dirty and like what can we suggest for them to start reframing their approach to being collaborative and just understand that competition is something that is just natural . You know , if it's not the person , what are you about ? Somebody else is going to do it , but we can't let that stop or erase . You know one of the first things we learned when we start running track and field like yo now look the LFR right , slow yourself down , straight ahead . The finish line is right in front of you . We are looking for a right for you . You see a guy . Look left . I still win .
Speaker 2That's because he's on another planet already . When he takes off , he's like run , run , run up .
Speaker 1So , um , Mikaela , let's start with you .
Speaker 3I think you know we're having this conversation and it's really hard , like , let's acknowledge how hard it is to shift your mindset and have the discipline to really have a change of thought , right , um , I don't want to give advice and not say that first . It's hard and we've all learned through experiences . We've had bad ones , but we also have good ones and the mindset that you have to really shift is how do you want to approach it ? Right , I'm an onion when you meet me , right , so there are layers and levels to which I will expose myself and that's a defense mechanism for me and I but I am aware of that . So I have multiple conversations with people , understand who they are , what their goals are and do they truly align with who I want to have in my collective circle ? That will allow me the space and the grace to share collectively and not feel like I'm I'm watching one another . You know what I mean . Like I can openly share ideas , thoughts , um , and progress struggles with you guys . Right , but that took a while to get to it . You know what I mean . Like I think that people have to be open to doing this process multiple times and it's possible that you might get burned , but it's also possible that you might create an organic relationship that you will build over time .
Speaker 3So I think , just really acknowledging how hard it is to come back from a space of being burned , and really adjusting and continue . It's a continuous mind shift . Every day , like every day , you have to tell yourself I'm going to go into this or , with every , every new connection that you make , I'm going to go into this with a positive thought . I'm going to go into this with a positive mind and really see what comes out of it . It's hard to project all the things that you have experienced . Um , but take people if people show you who they are , believe them . So I think that that the vibe thing is real . Like you know , I've been spirit in a tech year , all right , but that doesn't mean you're a bad person . You and I are just not in the same space for us to be able to grow together . That doesn't mean that you're a bad person . That doesn't mean that you're not making your own progress . You are . You and I are just not aligned to do work at this time , and that could be okay . You can still be in my network of people , but that does not mean that in my mind , you and I are going to grow together at this point in time and I'm not going to open the door open for future collaborations , um , and be open . But there are some people who have burnt those bridges and I'm not going back and I've already made those decisions and I'm okay with whatever the repercussions of those decisions that I have made and I I maybe I haven't had to deal with it yet , but I will , and when it comes , it just happens , so I'll , I'll assess those things as they come .
Speaker 3Trust your gut , reveal a little at a time and really get to know the people that you want to grow with on a deeper level to understand how can I help you , how can I assist you ? I feel like , and having open conversations , carrie can tell me , be like , okay , you going crazy . Yet you know what I mean . Yeah , you're not thinking straight , or maybe you are a little jealous and it's like I feel away . I can call Carrie and be like I feel away today and I want to tell you why I feel away today because XYZ happened , but once I get it off my chest , it's kind of like it's gone and it's done and I don't need to revisit it or rehash it .
Speaker 3It is what it is Like . What are we going to do to kind of continue the things that we want to grow ? But that doesn't mean I don't get in my feelings . You have to get in your feelings and you have to express them . But you also have to be very self aware of who you are , what you want to do and how you want to grow with other people . I know how I want to grow with you guys , but we just have to be on the same page .
Speaker 1You said something yes .
Speaker 2Dr McKayla Rose .
Speaker 1Two things that you said that's very important to our relationship , right ? One , you have to be self-aware . Self-awareness is key . And two , one of the things we've said is , like , express the emotion , don't stifle it . If you feel away , say you feel away . We're going to give you one stage feel , explain why you feel away , and we say , all right , yeah , man , all right . Next , you know , and we just keep moving . But I think that for me I know that's important it's not to pretend you don't feel away or , you know , ignore it , it's to state it . We know that's how you feel and that is also helpful . You know , you both know how many times people have done things to me and if you leave it up to me in those moments , but everything get bundled flat . Everything done , it's done . I don't want nothing to do with nobody . Firebun , listen , listen . Mckayla enters with her soundtrack my precious . You know , like you know , but and I try to come face with myself .
Speaker 3I call me at 22 and I miss something Then after you , so we'll forget the next message .
Speaker 2We'll catch it all .
Speaker 1Different episode , different episode . Sorry , but after I go through those emotions of feeling so upset , I go back to who I am naturally . And this is one thing McKayla says right , you know , if somebody do you something to the way that you feel like you want to change yourself , you could try to say you want to change yourself . But if we go back to it , we go back to who we are naturally , right , we just get over that offense and then we just move on right , and it's just a skill that we've had to learn how to deal with when people burn us badly and for Sitongina that is hard .
Speaker 1And then you know , the other day McKayla said , but not now going with so-and-so , you know , oh , you remember the person . You see , once we get over the way you're born me , we forget both . You , like it exists , right , but the process of forgetting or getting over that could be days , weeks , months , depending on how big the offense was . So to your point , mckayla , we're not saying this is a quick fix . Some things take a very long time , but when we get over them it's as if you never existed .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , no , I mean , I've had my instances of first , second and third degree burns and yeah , it's been real . But you know , one of the things I think you know and McKayla , you said it , mckayla , change right . You know , and being honest with yourselves about how you feel , and understanding that this is something that takes time , one of the things that I think we all have to . If we look back to our youth growing up , you know , and even into adulthood , we learned the value of teamwork . You know , when you go and get interviewed for a job , they want to know that you're a team player and all that you're hearing team team , that word team is about collaboration . So I say all that to say that it's very important that we understand the value of collaboration as we embrace competition and then understand that in collaborating , like you said , there are people who you know you just can't work with and they'll tell . You see the signs , you feel the vibes , you get everything , but you still want to push past .
Speaker 2But if you think about how , the benefits of collaboration , you also want to see yourself collaborating with people who are like-minded , because it makes no sense to collaborate with someone who doesn't share your vision , who doesn't share your overall end goals or objectives , because then it's a waste of space , it's a waste of time , really , like if you're trying to build a rocket ship to go to the moon and this other person is trying to build something to blow up the moon , what's the value of that collaboration ? You know , because you're trying to go out of the moon and when you go out of the moon you get blow up . So no , so it don't make any sense . But you're building that rocket ship and this person has the ability to build the thrusters , this other person has the ability to build , you know , paneling to ensure that you can withstand the atmospheric changes , and so forth , and so on .
Speaker 2Those collaborations will make sense . So you have to think about who is it that's going in a similar direction as you , with a similar goal , a similar objective , and say working together makes sense . And if we start to think about that more and start to listen more to you know our spirit , because that's what it is our spirit telling us . You know , kerry , michaela , chris , don't work with that one , because you know the vibes , tell you , you know .
Speaker 3But Kerry , go ahead . I'm sorry . No , adding to what you said , chris , is like these are almost like tips to being self-aware . Why do you want this ? Why do you want to work with this person ? What do they have or what do you see in them that you would ? You want to work with them , Like , really take stock of your why , when you're assessing people and that's how you become , that's how you practice becoming self-aware . You like , even when I'm in my feelings , why am I in my feelings ? Am I truly in my feelings because of this particular thing , or are there other things going on ?
Speaker 3Additionally , when I mentioned giving grace , it's not just giving grace to yourself , but giving other people grace . So Kerry says things to me all the time , right , and then she has to rally back six months a year down down down the land , down the line , because she she's like but Mikaela , I told you this like six months ago , three months ago , a year ago , and I just say , kerry , I just wasn't ready to receive it , and that this is the existence of our relationship is she is telling me do you know how long before she told me to do a podcast that I actually said yes , I'll do the podcast . It was a good two years . I wasn't ready to receive that met . So she I can acknowledge that I wasn't ready and she can give me grace to say that she's gonna figure it , she's gonna come to it , but she lets me come to those decisions and vice versa . But that truly takes a level of self-awareness . It'd be like why , kerry , I can't remember that conversation but it never really link . So even when you're meeting new people and they are more excited than you because of your experiences versus theirs , you also bring an energy to that conversation too . So you want to be mindful of that as well . So you know , have the conversations will also be .
Reframing Mindsets and Competition
Speaker 3Give yourself grace and also assume the best intent in others based on what they know . Right , people who are operating from a space of jealousy are operating at the space that they have the capacity for . We have moved beyond that space , or we are continuously moving beyond that space , so , but we can assume that everybody else is moving that way too , right , because we talk about all these industry things , these trends and things that we see , and for the life of us , we can't understand why we can't get it together . Because we see it so clearly , Everybody else is not there yet , and it might be that we have these collaborative , collaborative thoughts before it's time , or you're in a space where you are just not thriving . You either have to find a space to thrive in or just shift your mindset a little bit . It's all about how you look at and take perspective of where you are , where other people are , and that takes work .
Speaker 2Can I hire both of you to be my coaches , my life coaches ?
Speaker 3Absolutely .
Speaker 2Because y'all be giving Sage advice . You have this wisdom . I'm serious , Like the two of us . You know we're not my life coach , Punks .
Speaker 1No , but I think , chris , you brought up something that we have not even touched on because it's a whole separate conversation . But I want to share this and then get into the work situation . We've been talking from a content creation space , right , but like people who , like we , work full time jobs , right , and you are on a team and we know there's some some things that happen when you work with people and people really just try step one , you to get to the promotion and whatever , right , and what we're saying in all of this I want to share something Proverbs 22 , verse three A prudent person , aka a wise person , who receives danger and take precaution , the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequence . A different version say right , a prudent person sees trouble coming and duck , a simpleton walks in blindly and is clobbered . So if your sister , the core worker , is just going to backstab and not really play good for their advancement , then adjust yourself accordingly .
Speaker 1You know I can make them know and say you know what is my favorite saying Missou , don't want to watch them , watch me , but we go , move accordingly . Right , thank you , muta Baruka . Right , right , but you have to be . I'm wearing another t-shirt .
Speaker 2Yeah , for real . That needs to be on a t-shirt .
Speaker 1Yes , I cannot mine , I cannot claim it , please .
Speaker 2No , but you can put quote by Muta Baruka Thank you .
Speaker 3Yeah , right , she's a collaboration , right .
Speaker 1Word's not like Muta Baruka , yeah , I understand what I'm saying , but it doesn't mean that you are going to blindly think that everyone is that Like , like Michaela says , when people show you who they are , believe them so . But you just adjust accordingly . We don't need to announce to everybody I see you coming for me because they might go adjust to them game . I , you know , know what the adjustment is . You are just . You know . Everything has to make everybody know . We don't have to announce everything Just pre-quietly and just all right , missy the flex right when you call it tragedy .
Speaker 1Right .
Speaker 2I'm saying strategy . You know what ?
Speaker 1I'm saying yeah , I know , I know what you mean . Right , so strategy , right . So we can't again . We have to be wise . If you're wise , you're dark . Your monks all tell you take away yourself , but just see what they got . You know where are you ? Where are you ?
Speaker 2laughing Chris . No , Michaela said take away yourself . But , as I say , everybody said take away yourself . Missy , you didn't talk to take away yourself .
Speaker 1What is true is true is true , right , like in a work situation . It's not like . So we've been talking about having choice to not work with people , people who , in full-time job , don't have that choice . You have to work , yes , you have to work with the enemy , right ? So if you have to work with the enemy , just observe , you know like let's cue the British accent and watch the lion on the Serengeti , and you know you are pre and they observe them behavior .
Speaker 2But you know so funny story . You said we don't have that choice In a way . In a way we do right In a sense that , because when we're in a work setting , just like life , it's all about chess . So if you learn how to play chess well , you can move that person out of your way and they don't even know it , like you literally can eliminate that person from your path and they don't even know it . And I've done this so many times before . And I'm not saying it's a fix for everybody , and I'm not saying everybody can achieve it . What I'm saying if we learn , go ahead , kari . I see you on .
Speaker 1So the next episode is the TED Talk on how you move them out of your way .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , yeah , no , but you know a lot of this . There's this thing . You know we talk about the Paul of Manifestation , right ? If you , like you said , you don't need to show your hand , right ? You don't need to reveal how that person makes you feel or anything of the sort . You just need to make sure that , whatever it is you're doing , you're covered .
Speaker 2So I have numerous instances of people that I've worked with who try to . They try to just destroy me , because that's what they feel . I'm so much in their way that they feel the best thing to do is just try and just take a mach-trop to me and drive all over me . But they're not realizing I'm invincible , and I'm not saying that in a cocky or arrogant way , but I am invincible . No weapon formed against me shall prosper . Period , end of story .
Speaker 2So when I go into any room , you know I've always been the only black face , the black man , the only black man . No one or two other brown faces are in a room , but for the most part I'm always still the only person in the room . I know what I'm good at , I know what I'm capable of . So how do I eliminate those people ? It's about allies . I make sure that I have more allies on my side than them . So anytime them come for me , 50 people are coming for them . So then they're not for back down , because that 50 people say , hey , you can't touch my youth , and I'm dead serious . That's , that's what I've always done . I've practiced there is power , yeah , there is power in alliance . That's what we have to do . You know , I'm saying so . So it's this , because this whole thing is warm .
Speaker 1Chris is talking is true , because at the law firm Young associates them gang up because talk about me , mean this , I'm not mean , but that's no more than you can when we stop the paraliga . Your beardy left high school yet . So I'm gonna tell you the thing . I know , I hear it from me . The guy runs the partner and the top of these right and they Listen , but I didn't have enough allies in there to say okay , or allies with the power . That's a good distinction allies with power .
Speaker 3I can .
Speaker 1Advocate for yes and no , no , no , no , no , no , right , but this is a different conversation .
Speaker 2Cuz , listen my straight up . And now you said allies of power . My allies are CEOs , chairman X , evp's and SVP . So me , no , no , no , like a monkey ally .
Speaker 1But that is the next episode . But um last thoughts on competing , competition , reframing our mindsets and etc . Michaela , you go .
Speaker 3I Said a lot already , but I think your mindset is really the most important thing . Competition is good and to an extent , you need it to kind of further yourself , and I think that there is space for competition and you know doing your work solo , so you can go back and forth . I think there is a lot that is Misunderstood about how we view competition and , if you're cognizant , I love this conversation because it allows people to be cognizant of when they are with what as it relates to competition and really take their own stock and see where they are , where they fall and how they Want to move forward . So I really just love this conversation . Thank you for having me on to really talk about this and I think you know our collective Experiences really add to this conversation because they're so colorful . We've worked in multiple industries across multiple different platforms , so I think that this will at least spark Understanding and reframing some of those stop
Competition and Collaboration
Speaker 3processes . So , chris , what are your last thoughts ?
Speaker 2Man , you so prim and proper . I'm just saying , I just , I just want to be like you when I grow up . That's all I'm saying .
Speaker 3I want to be like yo . I like SVP level you got him .
Speaker 2You know , you already know you got him , but real talk , no , this , this conversation , was very important to have and I'm glad we're having it . I'm for competition , I'm for collaboration . I believe in both and and and I do believe that you know , as you're Embarking on whatever it is that you're doing whether it's working , a corporate job or , you know , becoming an entrepreneur and starting your own business you should make a point to try to understand , just just dissect both of those things Collaboration and competition and understand what they are , think about what they mean to you and step into it accordingly . I believe it's healthy . I believe , like I said , we cannot Do what we do by ourselves . So it's critical that you find people that you can work with to build what it is at your building and , ideally , when you find those people go , don't you want ? I think the best collaboration For growth is when you collaborate with people who are in the same space . You know . So you know , if you're in media , finding other people who are in media that you can work with , because they understand what you're going through , they understand the challenges that you face , they understand the highs and the lows , the ebbs and the flows . So why not work with them ? You know , why not find a way to collaborate with them and still compete ? Yo carry my like I didn't know . Yo make you like I met up , yo let me see if I can do this , okay , and then you work on it and do it , and then , and then y'all talk about it afterwards . You know I did that same thing that you did and did it , or what would you think ? I gave me a lot of response and and thank you for pushing me to do this .
Speaker 2In Competing , you should be , you're pushing each other , you know . So it can be done in a healthy way . Unfortunately , some people do it in an unhealthy way and it alienates people and it creates contention and problems . You want to find the people who you can compete within a healthy way and in and in turn collaborate with so that you can grow together . So I'm for it , I love it . I say let's do it , figure out what works for you and and move forward . And if you need any advice , don't call me , I'll call you . I'm just kidding . Oh no , I'm just kidding . Kidding jokes , jokes .
Speaker 1I know the best part of being in this collective as Individual competitors , but collaborating is yo , carry , I Got an idea for you . I think you should blah , blah , blah . This is Michaela . Yes , yes , this is going to work for you , right ? Those are the conversations . You could I take it and do it ourselves , but , just like no , this fit better with your brand . You understand what I'm saying and that takes a level of maturity and self-awareness and , like yo , this work better for you . I don't need this . And the same thing , like yo , michaela , if I do this , chris , you're supposed to do that . You know , boom , yo , michaela , we can't get that interview . Yeah , with me supper's day . Oh , I'm the interview .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1Chris .
Speaker 2Yep absolutely .
Speaker 1So those are fun because we have a lot of fun working together , and so this is not the final conversation . We'd love to hear your thoughts about competition or competing or your experiences with that . So it's not a next , it's not . This is a final conversation . We might pick it back up depending on what the audience said to me , but we're going to put a pin right here and you know we're short and fine . I'm at style and vibes , at Chris Williams , at where it's at all of the but . Yes , chris , but as I love to say at the end of every episode , guys walk good .
People on this episode
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
Reels & Riddims
Kerry-Ann & Mikelah
Strictly Facts: A Guide to Caribbean History and Culture
Alexandria Miller
Voice Note Stories
Kerry-Ann | Carry On Friends
The Style & Vibes Podcast
Mikelah Rose | Style & Vibes
Bridge To U:
Monique Russell
Queens of Social Work
Queen P, LCSW & Queen H, LCSW