011 : A Toast to Change with Erin Gruwell

Have you heard of the term six degrees of separation? The idea is that all people are six or fewer away from each other. Back in 2006 I was on a flight from Spokane to Seattle, Washington and sat next to an extraordinary human.

Like most flights, if you're sat next to someone friendly, you eventually chit-chat and have a brief encounter with them, and I was lucky enough to be sitting next to a woman who shared she was headed to her movie premier in Seattle. I later found out that she was Erin Gruwell, the dedicated teacher known best from the famous film "Freedom Writers."

To my surprise, "Freedom Writers" became a big blockbuster with lead actress Hilary Swank at the helm. The movie is about a dedicated teacher (Hilary Swank) in a racially divided Los Angeles school with a class of at-risk teenagers deemed incapable of learning. Instead of giving up, she inspires her students to take an interest in their education and planning their future. She assigns reading material that relates to their lives and encourages them all to keep journals. Those journals not only formed a movie, but formed the Freedom Writers Foundation. Erin Gruwell, that dedicated teacher, was that amazing inspiring lady that sat next to me on that flight in 2006. "Freedom Writers" became a movie I adored.

As Choose Your Attitude Podcast formed, and we reached out for guests, Erin Gruwell was at the top of the list. We reached out to Erin a week prior to the George Floyd protests.

It was like fate set us up to connect, and discuss the current situation.

Here's our chat...

Message form Erin Gruwell:
"I was humbled by Nicholas and Brianna’s tragic story of love and loss, so it was my honor to take part in the Choose Your Attitude Podcast. Brianna’s story is heartbreaking, but can act as a guide for anyone looking to create their own destiny. Nicholas’ determination to turn his pain into purpose proves that even in the face of adversity, the human spirit cannot be broken."

Erin Gruwell : @FreedomWritersFoundation

Transcript

Podcast Intro

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Let's step back a little. Take a look inside our true self. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable. And let's embrace our reality. Life is tough, but so are you. Welcome to the Choose Your Attitude Podcast with Nicholas Strand. Join Nick, author of Loving Someone Who's Dying, as he shares his experiences of life lost to life on the road as a traveling roadie. He and his guests will get into real topics while encouraging you to let go of the past, lift up the present, and fiercely build your better tomorrow. Let's get through this together. Now, here's your host, Nick Strand.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Hey, welcome to the Choose Your Attitude Podcast, where we discuss real life stuff, learn to master the only aspects we can control in life, and use it as a tool to make today the best day of your life. Every morning we wake up with a choice to make. What attitude are you going to create your life with today? We chat with people of all walks of life, people sharing their own stories and tips of some of life's most difficult journey. There is no proper way to do this correctly, besides talking about it and walking through the process, no matter how difficult it may be. So let's train the elephant in the room together. But first, a word from our sponsors. Are you looking for some much needed motivation? Maybe a new way to feel inspired. We know that life is tough, but so are you. Finding that perfect shirt you've been dreaming of is a tough journey. But we have you covered. That's why we are here with Choose Your Attitude Apparel. Wear with confidence and remind yourself you're choosing a way to success. It is a constant reminder that you can share with others. Join the Choose Your Attitude community and share an attitude of style that others will want to be a part of. So get yours now at ChooseYourAttitude.com. Would you like to be a sponsor on the Choose Your Attitude Podcast? Reach out to us at podcast at chooseyourattitude.com.

Episode Intro

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Have you heard of the term six degrees of separation? The idea is that all people are six people or fewer away from each other. Back in 2006, I was on a flight from Spokane, Washington to Seattle, Washington. Sitting next to me was a friendly lady. Like most flights, sharing your journey with the person next to you, she shared she was headed to her movie premiere in Seattle. To my surprise later, the Blockbuster hit Freedom Riders with lead actress Hillary Swank hit theaters. The movie is about a dedicated teacher in a racially divided Los Angeles school with a class of at-risk teenagers deemed incapable of learning. Instead of giving up, she inspires her students to take an interest in their education and planning their future. She assigns reading material that relates to their lives and encourages them all to keep journals of themselves. Those journals not only formed a movie, but formed the Freedom Riders Foundation. Erin Grewell, that dedicated teacher, was that amazing, inspiring lady that sat next to me on that flight in 2006. Freedom Riders became a movie I adored. As Choose Your Attitude Podcast formed and we reached out for guests, Erin Grewell was at the top of the list. We reached out to Aaron a week prior to the George Floyd protests. It was like fate set us up to connect and discuss the current situation. Here's our

Episode Interview

SPEAKER_00 3:53

chat. The movie was about the foundation and your journey. But uh kind of a crazy story. I'm not really sure if you realize this, but um in 2006, 2007, um you were flying from Spokane to Seattle, and I was on the same flight, and I can't remember, I think I was in front of you, and there was a um kind gentleman that you guys were talking to, and I kind of was talking with you, and you had talked about the premiere. I had no idea what it was. You were it yeah, so no idea. And I actually remember going home and telling my wife, like, yeah, she said there was this premiere, and then a year later, no, you're kidding and then a year later, all of a sudden, Freedom Riders comes out.

SPEAKER_03 5:00

Well, I love I'm I'm that annoying person on a plane that talks to everyone. I think people probably wince when they sit next to me and think, oh God, I just want to watch my movie or I just want to read my magazine. But I think at that time I do remember it perfectly. I think we, you know, I'm an ordinary teacher who had extraordinary students. So to be that like nerdy English teacher who was portrayed by a two-time Academy Award-winning actress, Hilary Swang, was a pinch me moment then it's still a pinch me moment now. So I was probably just so insecure on that play and having imposter complex that when this film comes out in the world, that forever people are gonna be disappointed when they meet me, the nerdy teacher, and think that they're gonna meet actually Hillary Swake. So I was probably both lamenting and terrified and excited as well. I think we didn't we didn't know then how the world would take it. And we are thrilled that um that it still resonates, you know, in the middle of pandemics and protest, it's trending on Netflix. And our 20th anniversary of the book just came out, which ages me. Um, but the amazing thing is we, you know, we're still that kind of slow and steady. We're not that meteor that burned too bright and burned out. We just, you know, we're still the little train going down the track.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

I love it. No, I I think it it kind of says a lot. I remember um, like you said, you were very soft-spoken. It it almost um it resonates with the idea that you know don't judge people without knowing their full story. And so many of us, uh especially in this time, um we use what we know to judge others as opposed to learn. And it it kind of um resonates in the idea that you know, here you are, this powerful person, and all these people have no idea the journey or what you're kind of creating. Um and you kind of did the same thing with your students, is you believed in your students uh without even knowing their full story, but at the same time you gave them the opportunity to speak and you listened as opposed to judged right away.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

Can I think you were saying that because something just happened a few days ago that reminds me of what it was like to walk into that classroom all those years ago with you know, the the I've been told by Holocaust survivors that if we don't learn our history, we're doomed to repeat it. So in Los Angeles, we had the 1992 civil uprising with the Ronnie King verdict. And it was scary, and my students were those kids with the Molotov cocktail in hand, those kids who were going into stores or those kids that were cowering in a bathtub, not wanting to be shot or have their house burned. So during the recent uprising again, um, Long Beach was one of those communities that had the National Guard come in. It was one of those communities where there was beautiful, peaceful protest, but also the devastation of fires and looting. So Freedom Writers have PTSD and triggers today, like we did then. But all of this in the midst of a pandemic. So when the pandemic happened, the Freedomwriters and I realized everything that we have always done is in person. You know, we're we touch people, we stand in front of classrooms, we, you know, part of my class and my teaching was very frenetic. And um in this age of social distancing and staying at home, our the world as we know it is upside down. So we've we've recreated ourselves, we've reimagined ourselves and tried to figure out how do we do these things in a virtual world or online. Um that's why being on your podcast is so exciting, is now people can listen. And and that's something that I didn't have as a teacher, the ability to have podcasts then. So there was this beautiful student recently. We started a program that we would be able to connect the most vulnerable among us with people who had access in this trying time. Because our fear was the we being freedom writers, that during a pandemic that people would fall further and further behind with that social uh economic divide, the social emotional issues, and just technology in general. So we were able to tap into kids of great wealth and privilege to be able to donate computers to kids who were the most vulnerable among us, many of whom had lost their families, were in foster care. And so just a few days ago, we were going to merge these two worlds. And what I didn't want is for the kids of great privilege just to have a handout. Like here's here's a brand new computer and knock yourself out. I said, no, it's it's more than that. You have to give not just technology, but what I really want is your time and I want your talent. I want you to work with these middle school and high school kids to create a relationship in the way that the Freedom Writers have become a family. So there was this beautiful boy in our first meeting who was in our corner box on a Zoom call, and he was just doing this messy cry the entire hour because I kept saying, You were chosen, you were selected, you were wanted, and all of these like affirming words that I used to say to the Freedom Riders that you were wanted and chosen and selected and picked. So at the very end, I said to him, How does this feel? And I just opened it up, and his teacher was part of the Zoom, and this beautiful boy who had witnessed both a murder suicide where his father murdered his mother and then took his own life, and this boy returned a middle school student to this horrific scene and a struggled sense. But when I gave him the opportunity to speak, um, being chosen, wanted, selected, picked, all of those affirming words, it was the most beautiful soliloquy. It was, I've never been picked, I've never been selected, and this is how it feels. So not only was he crying, we were all crying. Beautiful way to end this incredible virtual Zoom. The phone rings two minutes afterwards, and his teacher said, Oh my god, Aaron, you have no idea. That that was divinity, that was serendipity because this young boy never speaks. He grunts, he doesn't have complete sentences, he hides in the corner. And the fact that he was almost Shakespearean in this moment, what happened? And I said, I don't know. But it's a mirror to what happened with Frieden Meyers. When you when you love on someone the way you, Nick, loved on Brianna, when you don't see the labels, when you don't see the tragedy, you see the triumph. Um people's spirits soar. And I think that was why it was so important for me to be a part of your podcast is everything that your message is about is choice, choosing an attitude, choosing how we we go out about our daily lives, making decisions. And so what I honor that you do is what I try to do in a very small way with kids, you know, giving a voice to the voiceless.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

I I um as you say that I just um my hairs are just I'm my you know just butterflies, but I that right there exemplifies something huge and something huge that I'm experiencing, and and something that you did so great at. Um, and I call it learning to be comfortable and the uncomfortable, and that's just trying to step outside yourself for once and listening to what they have to say. And I've noticed in my journey and what's going on is um most people react so fast they don't even listen or they don't even ask for that information. And so when somebody comes to a person for help, just like so many of these people have, is that we're so quick to provide that to to to get into our comfort zone to share that help. And uh we we we uh silence them before they're even able to express where they stand. And for you to be able to uh that's what I heard in that message about you know, your your kid is is is he he he finally was able to be listened and and uh uh I don't want to say dehumanized, but I think you uh understand kind of what I'm saying and the fact that um you know a lot of the times to actually help someone means to kind of get in that uncomfortable zone with them.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Absolutely. What a what a great saying, uh comfortable and the uncomfortable. Uh I might have to use that with my students.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

Um what I feel that I, as a teacher, am also a student, and that duality every day is knowing that role is when I can be a student, and a student can become the teacher. Uh, my father used to have this great saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will arrive. And and in that moment, that that beautiful boy became all of our teachers, even though he was in a a Zoom call with his own teacher. You know, we were learning, we were processing. I think what the pandemic has taught me and so many others is this is this is a time of of being uncomfortable. Um, there's so much uncertainty, there's so much ambiguity. Um, so many teachers at this very moment still don't know if they're gonna go back to their classrooms that they know and love. Kids are at home not knowing, am I gonna go back to school? Is it gonna be a hybrid? Am I still gonna be doing all of my homework in my pajamas at home? So I've been really struggling with this feeling of being uncomfortable to shake me out of my comfort zone because I've I have been that classroom teacher that stands in front of people and I'm animated and you know, I can call people out and and I can hug a student when they walk in. I can't do that with Zoom. Um so I'm learning to adapt and I I have this amazing uh foundation, we call it the Freedom Right Foundation, with every I my trick is to surround myself with people who are just smarter and more talented than I. And through osmosis, I just get a little bit of their brilliance. So I always joke with them that when when people have a baby, they baby proof a house. You know, they cover up the the light switches and and the rough edges so that every everything is safe. Well, my office have baby proofed, i.e., air-in-proofed, our entire audience and our entire office because they don't trust me with technology.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Oh, Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

So even to talk to you, I just I was told where to sit. I was told, don't touch anything. I love it. Just speak. Um and that's hard. You know, in a classroom, I I know, I know my boundaries in a classroom. In this online space, it is terrifying. So I'm I'm now a student learning all of these things and understanding why they've told me don't touch because everything will go away with a single touch, the Zoom will go away, the podcast will go away. So it's it's wonderful to be able to say out loud that I am uncomfortable and comfortable in an uncomfortable time.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

I I think that's huge. Um and and it's um with me it the the subject was death um and losing my mom and losing Brianna. Um and it's so uncomfortable. And then now we have COVID, we've got um you know the civil unrest. Um and a lot of people get into that uh that kind of um instinctual reaction where they don't even really conceptualize what's happening or try to, you know, get in there uh in that mindset of understanding outside. Now, as you were talking about feeling uh, you know being a uh student as well as a teacher, when you started to teach um in this environment, how did you with what's going on right now? I I I think one of the things that I've I've noticed with friends and such as I try to learn more um is you get a resistance. And in the movie it exemplified that resistance. You had the resistance from the kids accepting you uh to the teachers, the uh uh the the white teachers accepting you, because you're you're trying to pull these two together, but everybody has been so comfortable to not hit that comfortable zone, and so you get this kind of uh instinctual reaction. How did you break through that when you kind of had that conf you had confidence, but I I don't want to call it confidence because, like you said, you were you were learning, but how did you step inside that zone and break through the resistance on both ends to to get to that, you know, where we are now?

SPEAKER_03 19:28

Yeah, that's a great question then, and it's it's still relevant now. I think that what I had experienced as a student myself was very different than what my my students had gone through up until that point. I loved school. I was the kid that not only raised my hand, I raised both. I was, you know, destined to have perfect attendance and be teacher's pet and and bring an apple. And if they wanted a five-paragraph essay, well, I would double it due to I was that nerdy, obnoxious kid. What I realized is for my students, it was Maslow's hierarchy. It was survival first and foremost. It was, where am I gonna eat? What am I gonna eat? Where am I gonna sleep? Am I gonna be safe in a city that had a riot, that had uh racial inequality and a horrible social economic divide? So, what I realized very early is I have to pivot personally because before I do a Shakespearean sonnet, I have to know about Tupac and a rose and concrete. I have to make this real and relevant and somehow, some way create a relationship with those who I'm teaching because they don't trust me yet. They don't respect me yet. They don't see education yet as an equalizer to an unfair playing field. So for me, every single day, every single hour, every single minute was adapting, pivoting, being flexible, um, being on my tiptoes, and then being able to process and crying the entire drive home and saying, I didn't reach them, I screwed up. What do I do differently tomorrow? And I think when you can have a self-awareness and be accountable, that is a huge ability to move forward. And sometimes we can be our own worst critics, I admit that. But I I realized that if I'm not breaking through to them, I'm doing them a disservice. So who are they and where do they come from and what do they know so that I can integrate that into what I want to teach, where we need to go, and what will serve them later. And that's exactly what I'm doing now on this. Like when the world is upside down, we're we're not in a new normal. So in this age of technology, I haven't found sorry in this age of technology, I have not found my new normal yet. Because if I was to see you in person, I would just want to give you a huge hair hug. And and and I would just, you know, all of those things that we as empaths do is do the hug, the nod, the gesture that we can't do on a podcast or we can't do sometimes in a virtual space. So I love that you continuously try to do that as well with those that you are humbly serving. And um, we are in the service business. You know, we are we are service providers. I had to figure out how do I have my students open up and say ah to this short story, to this poem, to this essay, and realize they are storytellers. Yeah, they are authors, they have something to write, they have something to say, their words can be a legacy.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Um did you would you say that some of it too um you you I don't want to call it a popularity contest, but you we get a lot of people, and I always revert to kind of that comfort word again, but um they don't want to enter an area because they don't want to be uh uh publicly uh humiliated. And I think using that word is is not fair because uh it's a negative word, but I guess what I'm saying is is do you think you being so vulnerable uh showing your failures when you tried and just instead of taking it as a personal uh offense and using it as a um as a way to fuel yourself to keep going, do you think that is kind of what helped? And and kind of what I'm going here is trying to help other people uh, you know, kind of beat through through that very uncomfortable situation, and um, you know, some would call you a hero uh in that sense, but yeah, but I I think you know Brianna kind of said the same thing is is that um I don't want to take the words from you, but you know, it it it's like you said, you're learning, so you're going through it. But um I I guess to word that in one uh question is is you know to display that vulnerability, um did that help give you acceptance to create that that oh well she's she's not kidding, like she she really wants to help us.

SPEAKER_03 24:51

That's a great question. I think that so much of our story, it's it's an it's an hour and an us and a we because I still see the freedom writers every day. You know, all these years later, they are my family of choice, they are my children. Um they are they are um they are my everything. They are the wind between everything that we do that elevates and lifts. I think, you know, in society, sadly, there are so many stigmas and stereotypes um about gender, about race, uh, about economics, and and we're seeing that play out now with these protests that are now 60 days out from the first initial protest after George Floyd's um death. And they've they each of these protests have morphed for the community they're in and the environment they're in. But people are standing up and saying, see me, hear me, I matter. And so I think in my classroom, what I had to do before there was a protest, there was, you know, a kid flipping me off or a paper airplane coming my direction, or a probation officer, you know, coming to take these kids away. So I had to see them, like really see them. I had to hear them. And when you hear them, sometimes that's very uncomfortable because maybe they're gonna say things that are not touchy-feely, that make you feel good. Um, you're gonna you're gonna be called names. I, you know, I came from a very pristine community. I grew up in a gated community. So I was called names in multiple languages that I didn't even know. I'd have a cheat sheet to understand what I was being called every moment of every day. I say that because what I realized is there's pain behind this. How do I make that pain become a purpose? How do I take that pain and have it be my passion to make education relevant, to understand why they are so angry, why they push away rather than pull closer. And so it was very humbling for me to be able to cry in front of my students, to want to hold them dear, to say, I don't have all the answers. I'll find them out somehow, some way. But we're in this together. And, you know, just being so almost painfully transparent and shamelessly optimistic simultaneously was um something that really served me and I hope served them. But it was all of that rawness and that realness that really, you know, interconnected us.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

I I um I I use the words uh embrace your reality. Um and I and I like to, you know, I I think you you kind of say it there too, is like I I really don't feel that anybody's past should judge them, that it's you know, where we it it it's I I say it's not about the what, it's the why. Um, you know, the the what is usually a reaction of why, and that why is you know where where we can actually get somewhere, and it's great to see you know someone like you and the foundation kind of working through that and actually um helping people uh share that rawness. Um, because that rawness is kind of that vulnerability that allows you to then become uh uh I'd almost say fearless, or um, you know, in your learning to walk into what most would do systematically shut down and judge um when you know you you've kind of done a great job of showing that just because what you know doesn't mean that the perspective of somebody else is a completely different story. Um and I think I think that's really important um with what you're doing and and um you know with the journals that you created to allow them to you know share that voice. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

Um I think well I want to I want to uh paraphrase that because I think you you and I both as writers, that's a when something's out in the world, I'm I have your book here, so I'm holding it to my heart. Yeah. But when you when you write something, you set yourself up for interpretation and then you send it out in the world like a message in a bottle, and people can interpret, but you feel very exposed, you feel very raw and vulnerable, and suddenly it's like these words are naked on a page. I had to ask my students to write. Um, you wrote, um, I've written, and that's scary when you when you send it out into the world like a message in a bottle. And there was a beautiful, beautiful freedom writer storyteller that very early on wrote about having cystic fibrosis. My beloved Todd. So Todd walked into my life at the age of 14 and had been in the hospital since birth. You know, he wasn't he was the kid diagnosed by those doctors, very much like Brianna, who gave them that label, that stereotype, that death sentence. You're not gonna make it.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

And what I am so proud of what Todd was able to do is have two stories in our book. The story at the beginning of being that kid who wasn't supposed to make it past his 14th birthday, and that kid who was gonna graduate and did. And Todd had these really high ambitions. He wanted to graduate with honors, which he did. He wanted to get um a driver's license and he ended up getting like a keys to a Mustang. And he and he wanted to go to college, and he did with a scholarship. And shortly after he graduated, and and the book was about to come out, a few months before it hit the shelves, the Freedom Irers and I were going to take this amazing trip to go to all of the places that we had read about, such as Anne Frank's Attic in Amsterdam and to concentration camps in Poland, and another author's incredible journey in Bosnia-Herzegovina in the city of Sarajevo. So that was the eye on the prize. We were gonna go for an entire year when the Freedom Writers were now in their first year of college. The idea was that they were gonna mentor younger kids to be writers and storytellers. And a few days before we left, Todd lost his battle. And we were crestfallen because all of those milestones that he had said in high school, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna graduate, I'm gonna get my driver's license, I'm gonna go to college. Once he reached those goals, he just upped the ante. And there were new goals and other ways to aspire, just like Brianna. There was a beautiful thing that happened that I think you you know because you live in that world of being open to moments of divinity. I love you use that word in your own book. In the film Schindler's List, the very last scene, while they're rolling the credits, is original Oscar Schindler survivors place a rock on Oscar Schindler's gravesite. Um, it's a very sacred moment where it's it's honoring the past and the present. And when we went to Europe, the Freedom Riders wanted to prove that our beloved Todd was part of that journey. And so throughout this journey, I watched Freedom Riders collect a little pebble outside of Anne Frank's um home, that that attic. When we went to Auschwitz, they collected the perfect rock that was next to the railroad tracks when we were in Bosnia-Herzegovina. So clearly their luggage was much heavier on the way back. But the night that our book came out, unbeknownst to me, they had gathered all of these rocks. I'm gonna get emotional and invited Todd's mother and wanted her to know that Todd was very much with us when we were at Anne Frank's attic. And here's the stone to prove it. And Todd was with us holding hands when we were at Auschwitz, and here's the perfect rock to prove it. And Todd was very much with us when we were in Sarajevo. And we did the messy cry. We just wept, and his mother took those beautiful stones that could have just looked like rocks, and realized that Todd will always be a part of our family. Todd will always be a part of our story. So knowing that you are the living legacy of Brianna, knowing that everything in every breath that you take, you have taken something that Brianna was a wounded healer and she healed you. And now you get to heal others. I think that's an amazing thing and an amazing reason that I was immediately drawn to you and your story. And I love that you wrote a book. I love you created a foundation. I love everything that you do because you've kept her alive.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Um I appreciate that. It means that um it it's um I I I think it's you know, it both of those kind of resemble in the fact of um, you know, you we get we get lost when um uh everybody dies. And and that's one of those vulnerability real things. Um and it's hard to break through that when that happens. Um and another thing like in your story that you just shared is is the kids uh to most have this really hard edge uh face to them. And you're able to break through and get that heart out, um, and actually share what it what these people truly are. Um and I I think you would agree that you know it's so inspiring as you go through your own journey that it gives you fuel to keep going. Um and that's what I see is is um you know, I'm living too. I'm not I'm not sharing this is how it's supposed to be done. It's more of you know, I know what it feels like, and so I want to be able to share that to somebody who's struggling and and to feel you know, like you to see that, to to hear your students kind of like how does that I guess you know connecting back to you, like to see your kids actually flourish from that, um, you know, to yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:23

Oh, it's a great question. I think that I I often use this analogy that hurt people hurt people. And I had I had students who would rather put up their fist than pull out a pin. Um you know, used weapons of of of whether it was a split blade or a gun in a community that had over 120 homicides in a in a single year. So what I understood is that for a lot of them, they were numb or anesthetized, and they didn't want to feel because feelings are overwhelming. Feelings make us feel vulnerable, feelings make us feel weak. And for kids who need to have a front and a facade, you gotta shove those feelings down. But I realized that early on I had, you know, very tough boys.

unknown 37:19

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

All these years later, after those boys were able to be cracked wide open and put back together, um, is they are the most emotive, the most emotional. Um and if you were to see them on the street, you probably would be a little nervous. They're big and they're burly and they've got, you know, an attitude and a swagger, but you know, they're boys. And so ironically, I connected first and foremost with the toughest of the kids because they were the ones that were sent away and they were the ones that were dismissed. You know, I had all the kids that had the rap sheets, the probation officers, the um had done time and and thought that's my my destiny. To this day, those are the most beloved. If you see freedom artists, and I had uh one come over yesterday to our office and you know, he gave me a hug. And in this time of social distancing, I got a little nervous. Like, oh my God, he used to call me Miss G, now he calls me Mama G. So traditionally we just hug. And are we allowed to hug while we're supposed to be social distancing? And what I love about that, even in my existential crisis, am I supposed to give Carlos a hug? Is that for a lot of these boys, they didn't have moms that hug them. Uh, Carlos was abandoned at six months old. And so he dealt with, you know, attachment disorder and and being abandoned had stayed with him. And so all these years later, he he still needs that that connection, that, that um relationship. And so feelings, when you actually are vulnerable to feel, you have to be able to do it in a safe space. You have to be able to do it where someone doesn't take advantage of you and make you feel more vulnerable. Um, that we all fall, but if we fall forward, that's the most important thing. So I always wanted my freedom artists to do just that. And I think the film captured some of those really beautiful moments of us being the most vulnerable, whether it was, you know, standing on the line during the line game, having a toast for change, and and throwing your ideas out into the universe, um, writing your journals and having us read them. You know, there was a lot of moments of just raw vulnerability, but in that safe space, what we were able to create is it's okay. It's okay to cry, it's okay to to need that hug. It's okay to not feel so strong right now because we're gonna build you up together.

SPEAKER_00 40:05

You I mean, you you make like uh you hear a lot of people always say, Oh, well, you gotta be positive, you gotta be positive. And that's one of those things that I keep it it like you said, is is um sometimes being positive is to be able to be real within and actually be able to stand there with somebody and and share where you stand. Um, just because you say that or you feel that does not mean that you are not thinking positive. Um one more area I wanted to kind of touch was you know, here you are a teacher and you have these students, but then you have the pressure of family. For for other entrepreneurs or or for people who like you, you know, want to help, but for some reason in help you also get the resistance. Um if you were to kind of share something to those to to you know of how you kind of got through that or um filter through, you know, some of those um you know, like I I I relate to that your father in in the movie, um, and and the resistance, you know, it's one of those things of being aware, you know he loves you, but at the same time, you know, you're you just you see this love and heart that you're gonna be able to create. How did how did you weigh, you know, those two forces?

SPEAKER_03 41:28

That's a great question. And I and I love that the film touched on some of those things. That there was that duality of the classroom and also, you know, personal lives, and it was duality of the teacher and and also the student. So, you know, both both storylines were were showcasing the educational aspect and also the the elements of our our real lives. And that was hard. I I wasn't prepared to have all of that be a microscope, microscope to my own life. I I didn't feel comfortable that I think that with my my father, first and foremost, my father just, you know, like any dad wants you to be safe, to be protective. You know, my my father was probably my biggest cheerleader.

SPEAKER_02 42:15

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

So in his mind, it was you can go all the way. You you can run a company if you so choose, you could be a partner at a law firm, you you can do it all. And, you know, oftentimes in our society, and we are seeing this now, you know, in COVID, I love that we are finally paying homage to people that are often invisible. And we've called them essential. There's something so beautiful and noble at the grocery store that I go to every Saturday, they actually wear these wonderful shirts that the grocery store gave them that said, I'm essential. But oftentimes there are hierarchies, and I hate that that in hierarchy that we place more um people that we perceive to be at the top, the entrepreneur, the lawyer, the CEO, um, not just the care worker, the janitor, the grocery store clerk. All of those things make up the fabric and the tapestry of our lives. So I like that now that we are paying homage, and you know, in the midst of the pandemic, people were outside their windows and on their balconies, banging pots and pans for nurses and doctors and everyone that was serving and sacrificing for people during this horrific pandemic.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:42

I think that there was this perception that my father thought that if you're a lawyer, that's sexier in the world. If you make more money, you'll have more access. If you have a better house, then that's it's better for you. So there was all of these things with labels because I grew up in a gated community. You know, my father had a really sexy job. My father drove really sexy cars. All of that was what I knew. My father's fear was if you choose to be a teacher in a community that was hard hit by homicides and riots, you're not going to be safe first and foremost, and you're not going to make any money, which was actually true. Teachers unfortunately are overworked and underpaid. But for me, what's not sexy is the car, the gated community, all of those um accoutrements. I drive a 2007 Prius to this day. I don't live in a gated community to this day. There's so many things that, you know, for me, what's sexy is knowing that a student that I had 20 plus years later, yesterday, could call me mama, give me a hug in the middle of a pandemic, and is still a part of my life. It wasn't one and done. Here's your grade, here's your score, you're out. So I think that for my dad, he was just he had to adapt and he had to meet Carlos and my students and realize that my daughter doesn't care about the car, my daughter doesn't care about the paycheck. My daughter cares about relationships. And and that to me was more important. And I think that we as a society need to see everyone's passion and everyone's calling and get away with some of those hierarchies.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

Yeah. I um this I I agree. I I think um one of the the very powerful things that I would relate to both this story and then also with Brianna Um is she was also clever in the fact that you know she she helped um, she was uh advocate for other cystic fibrosors. Um and one of the things that she always did is she advocated for those who didn't have a voice. But one of the things I call it, and I would call it pillow talks. And when we would lay down, she would actually uh discuss um, you know, some of those things. And one of those things that she discussed was, you know, sometimes we are forgotten. And so the things that mean more are less about the material and more about the memories you create and more about the legacy you create. So, for example, doing this whole entire journey of her life and sharing it to the world, but then at the same time creating choose your attitude, create your life as a way that you know help people. Um, so as a connection to that, um, I wanted to kind of see your thoughts of how that choose your attitude, create your life. When you hear that, um, how does that interpret to you? And um yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:03

Well, I I well, first of all, Brianna is is clearly with us today. So I we have to start there by paying homage to a a legacy well lived.

unknown 47:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

I am an English teacher, so I love like actual verbs. Choose and create um are very empowering words. It's it's up to us. And I I believe in empowerment, I believe in actualizing things. I always say to the freedom writers, you know, we're gonna speak our truth, we're gonna tell our narrative, and we're gonna put things in the universe. And it became a joke. One of the freedom writers said, they they call me Miss G. If if Miss G says we're going to the moon, somebody better call NASA. And it was always that we were choosing and creating what we wanted. And so the fact that Brianna has created a legacy that's based on choice, it's based on creation, it's based on self is incredible because we can start anew and start over every single moment of every single day. That's scary for a lot of folks who want a roadmap and want to be told what to do and how to do it. It's also very liberating for people who don't want to live with restrictions. And so I hope that she was able to fuse that with you, that you now, Nick, can create. You now can choose. And I think in that positivity, it's it's gotta be contagious for others.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

Oh, it for me, especially. I mean, the the re zip, uh, the um infectious, I like to call it. Um, not to use with this uh current times, but no, for sure. Um, I love that. I I wanted to talk about so one of the things you did was toast for change. Um and uh I noticed that you guys kind of have a thing going on right now uh where you guys have talked about um empowerment, um, kindness, uh, gratitude, perseverance, um, forgiveness, uh, compassion, understanding, hope, education. Um, so I wanted to um uh kind of do one in regards to with attitude. And um I wanted to kind of as an ending to this, um, kind of help kind of sum it all up. And uh kind of what I put together was um with attitude, uh no matter our past, um, we get to choose every day the attitude for that day. Um, and I feel it's less about what has happened in your past um and more of the effects of making to become a better person every day. So no matter what has happened before, it's about creating the energy to create a better tomorrow, um, but also doing that now because tomorrow isn't always guaranteed. And I I think that's um a huge thing with with attitude as well, is that um I don't see attitude as you know happy, sad. I see attitude as I can, I will, we're gonna do this. And um that comfortable and the uncomfortable, um, and and we are unstoppable. Um, we can learn to understand um and accept others. And by being able to listen and comprehend somebody, and I I often say to to feel means to feel something outside of yourself, and so to open that up.

SPEAKER_03 50:41

Um so with that, um, I just wanted to kind of I have a little well my my colleague who has been sitting next to me, not only has he been shushing the dogs, who I apologize have been uh a part of our wonderful uh exchange, he also just handed me a little sparkling water.

SPEAKER_00 51:03

I love it.

SPEAKER_03 51:04

So we're this is I wish we could that's where the virtual, I wish we could do a little salute, a little period of person.

SPEAKER_00 51:11

But um, yeah, so a toast for change for that, and that um, you know, with everything going on, that um, you know, with with the complete attitude um, you know, that that we've seen in our world, especially in America, um, that we can all kind of open up and realize there's a bubble outside of us, and uh, you know, to use that as our our civil duty, um, you know, to kind of help others even, you know, learn. So um with that, a toast for change. Um and uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:47

Um well I'd like to do a toast to change to you and your amazing followers. So my toast to change for you, Nick, is to continue to be the change that you know that Brianna wanted you to be. That that as Gandhi said, may we be the change we wish to see in the world. You are that change. You are fearless, you jump on planes, you fly around the globe, you stand on stages, you talk to students, and you inspire them to feel and and so to honor, honor those that we hold dear. And even if those that we hold dear are through memories, through stories, through photos, through peacock feathers, all of those beautiful things. Um, those memories of pillow talk, those memories of people pushing us to be bigger and bolder and better. That is what your mother did, that is what your wife did, and that is what you now do for others. So I chose to be a part of your incredible network because I believe in what you do. I believe in the power of choice to say, I'm gonna choose my attitude, I'm gonna create the life I want because it's empowering and it allows us to dare to dream. And so thank you, Nick, for allowing me in these times of uncertainty and ambiguity with the world upside down now to remind myself that I too have to be empowered, to make choices as a teacher, to create a new classroom, to continue to give a voice to the voiceless. And so my toast to you is to humbly serve beside you and honor the legacy of who brought us together, your beautiful wife, because she's clearly with us at this moment.

unknown 53:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

Yep. Thank you. Um is there anything else? Um, I I would love to maybe uh some information on where they can find out more information uh from the foundation. And sure. Um I do know too that uh the 29th, you guys have that fundraiser. Is that gonna be a continuous fundraiser?

SPEAKER_03 54:19

You know, it is. It's it's online and it'll live, it'll live forever.

SPEAKER_00 54:23

But perfect.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

Um for anyone that wants to know about our story and read about Todd, I I love that that you know, cystic fibrosis has been a part of our story um from the very beginning. Our our book originally was called The Freedom Writers Diary. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary with 20 new stories to the original, um, to the original book. So the Freedom Writers Diary is out in the world. It became, as you mentioned earlier, the subject of this amazing movie with Hillary Swank. And I think what I love about the movie is you could find it anywhere. You could find it on Netflix or Amazon. I I spend a lot of time with kids who have bootleg copies. So however you find it, find it and may speak to you. We also just recently won an Emmy for a documentary of our story that was told by the actual storytellers, the Freedom Writers. It's called uh Freedom Writers Stories from the Heart. And we chose the platform of PBS because it's free by for and about the people. So people can actually download it for free uh on their PBS um website or or watch it on PBS. But what I love about our foundation is we are still living and breathing this miss uh mission and message every day. So our website is the freedomwritersfoundation.org and it is live and breathing. And what I love about the Freedom Riders is they are still very much a family and pivoting in these tough times to create ways for people to have light in dark times, whether it's through curriculum or through being guests on podcasts like your own, to be the podcast guest of the Freedom Writers Podcast, which has been really fun and exciting to hear them be the storytellers. So, what we love is partnering with causes that we believe in. And Nick, we desperately and dearly believe in you. We believe in choose your attitude, and we believe in this mantra of create your life. May we all leave this podcast making choices and creating in honor of that legacy.

SPEAKER_00 56:43

Oh wow, thank you. I love it. Um, all right. Um thank you for being on here. Um, I think that sums it up. Um, it has been an honor to speak with you and um get uh so much information and um it's amazing to connect the dots and finally uh the you know the three degrees of separation is is you know uh crazy and um you know fate is is pretty crazy that you know 10 years ago we yeah, 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 57:21

It's it's not so crazy. Like I believe that they're they're it was accidentally on purpose, you know. We were on that plane, yep, heading in, you know, heading into the world, and both of our our our future was you know unforeseeable. But I I think that it was a chance meeting that was anything but chance, that we were we were brought together to be together. And I I think it was a moment of serendipity, or as you you know beautifully wrote in your book, uh, divinity. You know, I believe in those moments of divinity, you just gotta you gotta trust. And so when when when you sent your book to us and I devoured it, it was a moment for me to realize that the universe was speaking to both of us.

unknown 58:10

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 58:12

Thank you for listening. To reach out to Nick and the Choose Your Attitude community, find us on social media at Choose Attitude Create Life. Share your attitude with the world with merch guaranteed to encourage at chooseyourattitude.com. Be sure to share us with friends, family, and colleagues. And while you're at it, leave us an uplifting review. We'd very much appreciate it. Check back for new episodes. Until next time, choose your attitude, create your life.