016 : Ryan McElmon Talks Adrenaline

Adrenaline junkie Ryan McElmon competes as a downhill skier, but enjoys mountain biking as a hobby.

At only 22 years old, Ryan has had memorable and exciting experiences, learned many lessons, and accomplished triumphs some will never grasp in their lifetime. 

The biggest lesson he's learned and instilled in others is overcoming fear.

Ryan mirrors Choose Your Attitude's mantra/motto by constantly trying to conquer the hunger of being uncomfortable or fearful, and is always chasing the next big trick/task he's set for himself.

Here's our chat.

Ryan McElmon : @Ryan_McElmon

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Let's step back a little. Take a look inside our true self. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable. And let's embrace our reality. Life is tough, but so are you. Welcome to the Choose Your Attitude Podcast with Nicholas Strand. Join Nick, author of Loving Someone Who's Dying, as he shares his experiences of life lost to life on the road as a traveling roadie. And his guests will get into real topics while encouraging you to let go of the past, lift up the present, and fiercely build your better tomorrow. Let's get through this together. Now, here's your host, Nick Strand.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Hey, welcome to the Choose Your Attitude Podcast, where we discuss real life stuff, learn to master the only aspects we can control in life, and use it as a tool to make today the best day of your life. Every morning we wake up with a choice to make. What attitude are you going to create your life with today? We chat with people of all walks of life, people sharing their own stories and tips of some of life's most difficult journey. There is no proper way to do this correctly besides talking about it and walking through the process. No matter how difficult it may be. So let's train the elephant in the room together. But first, a word from our sponsors. Are you looking for some much needed motivation? Maybe a new way to feel inspired. We know that life is tough, but so are you. Finding that perfect shirt you've been dreaming of is a tough journey. But we have you covered. That's why we are here with choose your attitude apparel. Wear with confidence and remind yourself you're choosing a way to success. It is a constant reminder that you can share with others, join the choose your attitude community, and share an attitude of style that others will want to be a part of. So get yours now at chooseyourattitude.com. Would you like to be a sponsor on the Choose Your Attitude Podcast? Reach out to us at podcast at chooseyourattitude.com. Today our guest is Ryan McEllen, adrenaline junkie, mountain biking as a hobby, but downhill skiing as a competitor. Only 22 years old, Ryan has had quite the experience in life. But a life full of lessons and accomplishments. A true lesson in overcoming our fear as we try and tackle the challenges of life. Ryan and his journey as a downhill skier really helps bring the idea of choose your attitude to life as he explains his life and constant hunger for that uncomfortable in the attempt to conquer that next big trophy. Now, here's our chat. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, welcome. Uh we got Ryan McElman here. Uh United States World Cup downhill skiing and mountain biking. How's it going? Yeah. Welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Good man, good man. Thank you. Thank you for having me on. Yeah, I'm excited to be here. It's kind of crazy times in these sports right now. In the action sports world, it's a little bit tough with COVID and everything, but we're making the best of it. We're doing doing fun things like this to stay busy. So thanks for having me on, Nicholas. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

I appreciate it. Um, you know, uh I I ran into you as as we kind of started to connect um with the choose your attitude apparel. Uh you were uh you you you had you got some, uh you posted it for us. Yeah. And um you got quite the story I want to share and kind of an interesting aspect, I think, uh, to uh fear, uh to accomplishment, um, that I think would be a huge asset to a lot of people to kind of understand. Um one of the first things I I want to do is is have you kind of discuss um a little bit of this downhill skiing. I mean, from what I was seeing, it's like, you know, you're going down and it says 80 miles an hour, 15 uh foot story um jump, and you're going way up in the air, and somehow it's supposed to land and make it all look natural, and while you're in the air, do something crazy.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

Yep, yep. So yeah, what I do, like I I'm technically like everyone is an alpine skier, I guess, because there's alpine skiers or Nordic skiers, Nordic skiers are like the cross-country skiers and all that stuff. And then uh my specific discipline is called slope style, and that's when we go down, like you said, kind of go down real fast, basically as fast as we need to clear the jumps and everything. And it's basically skateboarding and gymnastics mixed in the mixed into skiing, if you can kind of imagine that. And then they put these handrails with hand rails you hold on to as you're walking down a stair set, you know. They put these in the middle of the course, and they basically say, have at it, be creative, do what you can, and and we'll it's a judge sport, so that's a thing. It's based off of uh creativity, difficulty, like general presentation of what you're doing, just overall impression, and yeah, it's pretty fun. I I don't know, I just got into it when I was a little kid with my dad, and I absolutely loved it. He just took me skiing, and I always just wanted to be airborne, whether it was off a little mogul on the side of the trail or something. My dad was always just I was just following him and he loved it, and I was basically just like a little brother chasing him around in a way. It was awesome.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

So, did it did it was it simply skiing, and then you somehow found an accident that took you in the air? Or um, as you said, like skateboarding, um, you know, was it was it trying to find a little bit something more than what you could do from skateboarding, or you know, what what what got you into you know doing that crazy stuff from what we see as crazy?

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Um Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know. I just when I would go skiing with my dad, like I said, he he got into skiing really late in his life and he just absolutely loved it, like ended up being one of his biggest passions. So he wanted to obviously introduce me to it so we could go do that together, and he absolutely loved just flying down the mountain. So I kind of just learned pretty quick that if I wanted to go ski, then I had to be able to keep up. And wherever he was going, I had to go chase him around. My mom and dad actually put me on skis when I was two, pretty much before I could walk. And they would just like they would just push me, and that was that was that, and let me do my thing. And my dad would actually ski backwards and swing me back and forth with his ski poles so that I could learn it, and I would have to look behind him and be like, Well, so it was kind of like learning skiing, second nature at that point. I was more worried about making sure he wasn't hitting anyone, yeah, and my feet were just doing it naturally, so it became second nature at a really young age, and then as it progressed, I was always kind of just a little bit of an adrenaline junkie, like just that's how I got into biking too. Basically the same exact thing as skiing. My mom and dad got me into it really young, and I just always wanted to keep up with my dad. So he was just like I said, bigger, basically an older brother who pays for everything. That's what I called him when I was little.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

I I love it's a it's uh it's a it's a um, you know, I love to see, you know, taking uh, you know, I I don't want to downplay video games by no means because we're obviously learning that video games are you know a lot more than what they used to be.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Uh now that they Yeah, we all should have paid attention to our Call of Duty careers a little more.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Exactly. Um, but I mean to bring it to life, you're out there doing this stuff, um, adrenaline, um, and as you go through it, all of a sudden you start competing. And um, I did see that you had a couple injuries that kind of set you back. And um you got all the way uh to the Olympics. Uh is is that is that true?

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Uh so we got to the Olympic trials. So in in the US, there's so much talent in all of the sports. Like the talent pool for every sport is just absolutely amazing. Just so many resources, so many coaches and stuff. So it's really, really competitive once you get to that Olympic year. And in our sport, it works uh the year that I was in it, there were five qualifiers. Oh, geez. And you had to qu you had to basically qualify for those qualifiers, and I was lucky enough to make it in that year and went through all those qualifiers. But I was pretty young, I was uh 17 or 18 years old going into that, and that was my first time really trying out and going through those trials. So I was definitely the underdog going against a bunch of veterans and uh had a little bit of a rough go here and there, but like just the experience was incredible. Like, there's nothing, nothing like it. It's such a cool thing to experience at such a young age and hoping to get it again here, depending on what COVID does, whatever COVID plans for us. But hopefully we'll go into this one a little bit more prepared and ready to send.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Are you are you basically practicing every single all year long, or is it kind of, you know, uh yeah?

SPEAKER_02 8:56

Yeah, it's a definitely practicing all year long. We need little bits and breaks here and there, and that's kind of why I resort biking because it's a good cross-training thing, keeps all those like quick twitch muscles firing, keeps the brain firing really fast, and it's just a nice little balance. It's it's really similar, but also a polar opposite in the way. So it's it's a balance of the opposites, basically. It's awesome. It just keeps, like I said, keeps everything firing, keeps the adrenaline going, but it also trains completely different parts of your body. But when we're not when I'm not mountain biking and stuff, I'm up on this massive airbag. It's pretty hard to it's pretty hard to like even explain to the general public. Yep. But it's literally like imagine a bounce house that's 300 feet long and 150 feet wide, and it's a toughness, and you can pretty much land like on your head if you know what you're doing, and like walk away from it rather than being paralyzed. So that's we spend all of our time learning the tricks on that because it minimizes consequence, it doesn't get rid of it completely, but it minimizes when you're learning these things, like it gets to the point where if you mess up, like you're gonna be seriously messed up. So anything that we can do to minimize that risk, keep our bodies in good shape, and just like live to ski another day, that's that's kind of what we do.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

That um so basically allowing you to put a little bit more focus on the trick as you go in the air, uh to and and m work on the landing a little bit later. So as you as you work on that trick while you're in the air, you don't have to work focus so quickly on the landing, and then eventually, once you get that air stuff figured out, then all of a sudden you're trying to turn that back and hopefully land perfect on the map on that pad, and then eventually you get the courage to try it in the air and actually land on the the snow, which is gotta be like concrete.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's uh the snow we ski on. Luckily, luckily, the the groomers usually do a pretty good job for our competition, and there's a little bit of squish to it. Yeah, and that's the nice part about living in the west coast. Is the snow's a little bit softer than where I grew up on the east coast.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

But yeah, snow is pretty, pretty firm. When you hit the ground the wrong way, it doesn't feel great. It doesn't feel great. So we do our best to obviously try to land every time. That's a no-brainer. But um putting in those hours, practicing, getting air awareness is what we call it. Yeah, any trampliness, acrobat, any of that stuff when you refer to just like being air, they'll all know what air awareness means. And just trying to basically be as comfortable upside down, 40 feet off the ground, as you are standing on your feet, yeah, just like fully planted and normal. That that's kind of just spatial awareness and air awareness, knowing what to do if things go wrong and what to do to hopefully keep things going perfectly right. So we just do a lot of practice with that. It's similar to what a lot of other athletes do, and like military and stuff, like getting in you always want to put yourself in that uncomfortable situation so that you know what to do when that uncomfortable situation basically. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

Um it's you know, I I I see the the the parallel uh with life. Um and and as you said, um, you know, uh landing can if if not done right um without that pad uh can hurt. Um and uh you did have an injury and uh uh ACL that you had to uh do surgery on. Um can you explain a little bit about that injury and how that kind of uh set set you back in your um you know your your goals to try to you know get to the Olympics and um you know get you know yeah get to a higher podium.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

So so when I was 15, I was up in my first big competition in Whistler up in uh British Columbia. I'd say that was my first like really big competition, you know, going against like a bunch of pros that I'd look up to forever. And uh the second day of this, there was gnarly up there like really crazy. Second day of practice, I just went into the last jump in the course, went off the jump, had hit it five times before that, like perfectly fine, whatever. Went in, went in the next run and was midair and just like looked down at the ground to get my spot points to see where I was at, and there was just this like gale force wind that rolled through, and literally I couldn't see anything except blowing snow, and I just saw the landing disappearing. Like, there's lines on the landings, and like usually you want to stay within those lines. If you land at the first line, it was probably a little small. If you land at the fourth line, it was probably a little bit big, and like that's kind of the general the general gist of it. And I was literally like 50, 60 feet past the last line, like just because of this gale force wind. Like we're wearing big baggy clothes, we're basically parachutes. Yeah, I was already getting a little the third or fourth line, and this wind came and just took me. And like I've never had a moment where I've literally looked down and been like, I'm gonna die. But that was a moment where I was in the air at the level of the chairlift, like looking at my friends on the chairlift, looking down at the ground, gale force wind, snow ripping. Like I looked down and I remember thinking, like, I might die. Like that's how that's how crazy it was. And like I said, I was 15 years old, hit the ground, bounce, roll, knee myself in the face, like launch like 30 feet. Somehow was like pretty much okay. Like got up and was like, Oh, my knee hurts pretty bad, but like I think I'm alright. Yeah, so that one was actually ended up being a little bit worse than just like getting up and being okay. Fractured my tibial plateau, bone bruised my femur, and strained my ACL in that knee. So that was kind of it was just and then the next year, actually, I came back, was at a stupid little competition, not nearly as cool of a story. Had a real basic mistake and just felt my knee pop, and that was the full ACL, and that was like the worst. That was the same thing. Like, I did it, it was such a stupid injury. Like, basically, you know, everyone's like, Oh, you can get hurt stepping off the sidewalk. Like, that's basically how simple this mistake was. And felt my knee pop and was like, Oh, that hurts. Like, sat there for a minute and then got up and just put my skis on and skied down to the lodge because I was like, huh, like I I think I'm alright. Like the burning went away, everything was away. So I was just trying to convince myself at that point that the pop was just scar tissue or something. So, but that ended up being a fully torn ACL, and uh that's that was brutal at 16 years old, like 15 and 16 years old to have back-to-back, like season-ending injuries. Oh, geez. Those are kind of your last two years of being like a fearless, rubber-made little kid at that point. And then once 17, 18 comes around, you're a little bit bigger, you have a little bit, you're a little bit farther through like puberty and maturing. So real fear kicks in. Like at that point, you think you know fear, but you don't really know what fear is until you're actually more mature. Yeah, and uh that was definitely tough. But I think in the end, I I became stronger out of it. I like I learned a lot through it. All my sponsors and everything, luckily stuck by my side and supported me, my parents, everyone. It was a really great, like a really unfortunate thing to happen. But I think in the end it was it it worked out for the better. Like obviously things never happened, who knows where I'd be right now. But I learned a lot, I wouldn't want to change anything now. Learned a lot, went through it, came back stronger, and uh kind of just got right back on the grind after that. And obviously the whole shebang, PT, rehab, all that stuff, but no one wants to hear about that stuff. It was just learned a lot and came out of it stronger and better the next season, and actually had a had a pretty good season the next year. And then the year after that was the Olympic trials and stuff. So it was pretty sick. It was not the worst timing, like it wasn't an Olympic year and none of that. So learned a lot, and I'm pretty pretty grateful for how easy everything was, regardless of the tragedy.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

So, you know, here's a story of you know, this this little kid going down a hill with his his dad, um, exploring the simpleness of skiing um and taking it to a whole nother level to you know those in the audience or even me as I watch your videos, even even with that, you know, the pad that you land on. Um and then having these injuries, you know, as as a person like you said, with that, you know, trying to learn how to feel uncomfortable, but be confident in that uncomfortable. Um how has have you noticed any of your, you know, I'm I'm not saying kids to like, you know, go be a downhill skier or an intense mountain biker, but have you seen any realizations or things that you have learned in overcoming those challenges um to try to do that big trick, to try to overcome that fear, um, or even with these injuries, overcoming that and and keeping that hunger going? Um as as you know, you know, with with an injury like that, it's not like tomorrow you get to go back on. So there it it's yeah a whole mental game. But with that compared to life, uh now being I uh 20, 22 years old now.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Um just turned 22.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Um how how have you connected uh at all some of those lessons to life itself and some of the things you've experienced um as a human outside of that adrenaline sport?

SPEAKER_02 18:44

I think one of the biggest things that I've always found myself repeating to people when they ask these like questions of how do you do this crazy stuff or any of that, or what have you learned from it? One thing that I've always found myself saying, even from the time I was like 12 years old, is being able to distinguish to distinguish the difference between fear and nerves. And if you're if you're really, really scared of something, there's a way different feeling in your stomach and in your head and in your heart, like as corny as it sounds, like way different internal feeling than being nervous. Nervous is something that I think you feel when you know you can do it, or you know you've put in the work to be able to do it, but you just have to do it and you're nervous for the outcome. Whereas fear is fully doubting either your ability or the preparation that went into it, or just something out of your control that might be spooking you in your head. I think being able to distinguish that difference on the spot is something that is, I guess, calculated crazy, is what my family or my mom's always called it when people ask her, they're like, How do you let Ryan do this stuff? She's like, Oh, he's calculated crazy. He's he's crazy, but like he's pretty calculated. He doesn't just like go sand himself off a building, like he does the math in his head first, you know? Yeah, but I think being able to distinguish that difference has been something that I've kind of applied across my whole life, whatever it is, whether it's going into a test or going into uh a tryout for a different sport. Like I used to play hockey stuff, or going for a run, going into a hard workout, going in for a job application, like pretty much anything. I think you can always distinguish nerves from fear. And nerves are really good. That I've like I've found that being nervous and having those butterflies are great because your body goes into kind of a hyper focus, like a little bit of a flow state. Like once you like once you drop in like the slopestyle course or the mountain, and you're just doing the thing that you prepared months for, but like you might be nervous, but you're ready because you know you prepared for that. Your body just goes into this flow and you just do it. And nerves are kind of like the initial, it's like right before you like light the fuse, you know? And then once you light the fuse, flow state goes, and it's but fear is like really like when you drop go to drop into a trick and you're like scared you shouldn't do it. Like or when you go to take a test and you're you didn't study, you're scared you're gonna fail, you know. But if you go into a test and you know you studied for six hours, at that point you know you have the tools to succeed, it's just a matter of using those tools the right way. I think that's kind of the easiest way to explain it to the general public is like, did you study for the test? No. You're scared to fail. Did you study for the test? Yes. You're just nervous because you hope you remember and you can use the tools that you have to succeed.

SPEAKER_03 21:49

I I love it. Um and and it it it almost gave me butterflies because you know I I see the parallel. And and um what I would call it is almost confidence of. Self.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:02

Um, and and not only confidence of self, but what I loved is as you explained it, I could understand that your relationship with fear and nervousness is a very close relationship, and you understand how it does. Yeah. See, and and I think that is very important. And I think that's one thing that um would relate to many other things from you know somebody going through trauma or even you know dreams, you know, kind of like you do, is is you know, being it being able to not suppress your fear, not suppressing your nerves, but learning how to communicate with it and using it as a tool rather than to push it away and uh almost be fear of your fear.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. And fear, like fear isn't a bad thing either. That's not what I'm saying. Whereas like you should always feel nervous, you should never be afraid. Like, if you're afraid, don't do it. Like, there's certain times where pushing through that fear is a good thing, you know. Like sometimes when you're in the practice phase of whatever, the the journey, I guess, learning a new trick. Like the first time I go to do it, even though it's onto that airbag or whatever, I'm still scared. Like, I I know I there's still fear. It's it's not like we're never scared, and I'm just saying I only get butterflies, and I'm never like, oh my god, I hope this doesn't go wrong because no one's that mentally headstrong, you know. But there's there's definitely that fine line of knowing the difference between like really, really scared and negative fear and negative thoughts, and that just that little bit of like, okay, I'm gonna take this risk, like let's do it. And that applies, like you said, I think that applies to a lot of things, and I've always been a I do. Risk is insanely high, and the reward is really not much, like if it's not gonna change your life, then then definitely try to try to balance that, try to balance that risk reward. That's a huge thing.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

I I I think it's uh I it's it's it's beautiful to to hear that because like like you said, I I can see those connections and and I think that's very extreme and powerful. Um now as you as you went through all these different things, you did have kind of a um a difficult time. Um and uh Sammy J uh uh in 2017 um you had lost him um and he had passed away. Yeah um can you kind of describe that and um how that kind of affected you?

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Yeah, man, that was that was a heavy one. That was probably I think to this day one of the most pivotal moments, I'd say, if I had to put it. I'm trying to figure it out. I guess that's probably the best way to put it. Probably the most pivotal moment in in my young life. Um it was it was pretty tough to deal with. I had never dealt with anything like that. I'd lost family members and I had lost like other friends, but I had never lost someone that close to me doing the exact same thing that I do every day. It was really different to have some like one of my best friends pass away doing the thing that we all love the most, because it could have just been any of us, like it was such a freak accident that um that was pretty hard pill to s especially because he was so talented. So for the people that don't know that are listening, Sam Sammy J is uh who we're referring to, and his name was uh Sam Jackenthal, and he was one of the most talented skiers, rollerbladers, all-around athletes, and just like pure, like genuine ray of light that like just rained down on this world. Like you met this kid, you smiled. There was my mind, you know that met this kid, you were gonna smile, and uh the even harder thing was this was the year I was injured, so I wasn't even on the trip where he passed away. Usually we're on every we were on every trip together, like traveling all over the world, practicing with each other, skiing with each other, and uh he was like a little brother to our whole group. He was just that like fun, crazy little brother. And I was sitting at home rehabbing my knee from ACL surgery, and my other best friend, Nate, was uh on the trip in Australia because that's where we would have been training at this or where I would have been training at this time, but they were all there and I was injured. And uh he just texts me and goes, same fall. And I'm like, Oh yeah, whatever. Like, same, we all fall all the time. Like, we're fine. We get up, we slam, like we break bones, we get we get injured, we do it, we just home injured, you know. I'm like, whatever, he'll be fine. He'll just I'm expecting him to say, like, oh he blew his knee, or like, oh, he has something bad, but then he goes, It's bad. And I he had never texted me anything like that in my life. Like, there's been a bunch of people that fell, and uh he just he was going off a rock doing a little trick that we all do on the daily, and he just wanted to go a little bit bigger and a little bit farther than everyone else because that's how Sam was. He was just a savage, and that's why we all loved him so much. And the rock caught his edge a tiny bit right as he went off, and he just fly swattered. Basically, like imagine a mouse trap like closing. Oh, geez, yeah. That is the basically what he did. Like he was flying through the air, and then his skis landed sideways, and he like became like a mouse trap essentially, and took a really violent fall and um got a traumatic brain injury, um, damaged his brain stem, and passed away a few weeks later in Australia while I was home. All my friends, like I said, all my friends were on this trip with him, and his parents flew out there and everything. And so I was back in Park City basically with like the few other stragglers that were back home because of like not being able to go to Australia or just whatever. So it was we were so separated from it, which made it even harder. But like I said, Sam was kind of a ray of sunshine on everyone's life, and um we all just turned it into a really positive thing after the obvious grieving process. We didn't want to do it too quick and make it seem like we were just brushing it off our shoulders. But we had an amazing celebration of life for him at the water ramps at that Olympic park up in um in Utah, and they ever all the ski jumpers were launching, they were playing Katy Perry and Taylor Swift and like fireworks, the whole shebang. Everyone climbed up onto the ramps afterwards, fully clothed, and went over and did a bunch of tricks and flips and everything, fully clothed into the pool just to celebrate him, and it ended with this huge smile. And from that point on, I think that set the tone for how everyone wanted to remember Sam. No one wanted to remember Sam as crying sad, oh my god, like tragedy. We remembered it as like Sam was a badass, Sam was crazy, yeah. Let's do everything we can to remember this kid, and now we have a guardian angel on our shoulders. So whenever you don't want to do something, just think what would Sammy J do. And we actually made up, not we, the his his family and his closest friends made up a saying called just Jack and Thalit, because that was his last name. So whenever anyone's scared, you're like, oh, just Jack and Thalit. And um, that was a pretty crazy experience going through it, but similar, obviously, completely different scale to my knee injuries, but similar as similar tragedy to where the outcome of it was really positive, and everyone in the whole community, the whole ski team, pretty much everyone in the whole town, whole country that knew Sam just really used it as like, all right, let's let's spread a little bit of extra happiness and positivity for Sam because he's not here and he can't do it himself, so let's all do it as a community. And that was that was pretty amazing to to witness and to go through, and it was life-changing. We don't waste we don't waste a single moment of our lives anymore after Sammy J. We didn't before, but we really don't now.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

You know, it's um life as you as you know, going through that, um it it's short. And and to to I I I'm not in a sport like this. So as I asked this question and and talk through this, you know, I I'm only talking from my from from the outside approach. But I could only imagine how you know here's this thing happening, you're hurt, and you're supposed to be there. Um, you know, that's tough. But then at the same time, too, you have the weight of now experiencing that what that fear would equate to. Um how how does that ever connect? Um how do you ever uh uh you know get through that? And and um because obviously, you know, life is short. And um if we wait and we we listen too much to the fear, we're not able to get to the titles like you have and do those different things. Um so how how did you kind of get through that mentally? Um and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

So basically, are you asking like getting past the fear of uh one of our closest friends dying doing exactly what we love? Basically the kind of the possibility that that could be us, that type of thing.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Yeah, the I mean there's there's a whole construct of your friend passing, but then at the same time, that fear that your family has, that your friends have that aren't in the sport as well, that see that around. And and and then even you yourself, you know, uh uh you don't see an extreme accident like that. And so you become a little bit more uh I don't want to use the word fearless because uh as you said, it's not that you don't have fear, but now that that comes in, it's almost like I I could see a step back because you you now have an injury from it, and then at the same time you lose a friend from it.

SPEAKER_02 32:19

Um I think it's just uh that yeah, that's I see I totally understand what you say, what you're saying. I think it's just being in the action sports and adrenaline sports world, I think it it takes a little bit of uh special mindset in a way to even want to get into it. Because it's it's like adrenaline is kind of the purest drug you can get in a way. I I guess that's pretty much the only thing I mean you hear about action sports people dying monthly, you know. It it just all the big some of the biggest legends in our sports have died, just realistically trying to go for that next dose of like what's next, what's next, what's next. And I think I think that craving to just always do the next craziest thing or to learn that next trick to get that next like dopamine rush of landing that trick you've been dreaming of your whole life, just inner I think it's I don't know, it's I guess it's just an inner motivation to it's how we cope in a way, I guess, is yeah, like when I always tell people they're like they're like what what are you like how how do you do all these crazy things? It's just it's the most like pure form of living, as corny as that sounds doing when you're doing these things that you just absolutely love, you don't think about it in the moment. Like when I'm in a slope style run, or like when I'm dropping in to do a trick, back to the thing. If I'm dropping in to do it a trick, and I'm like oh my god, I'm gonna die, like as I'm dropping into it, or what if I die right now? Boom, okay, that's fear, call it, don't do it. Like come back another day, sleep on it. But if you're dropping when you're dropping in to do a trick, dropping in for a mountain bike racing run, or anything, it's literally the most pure blissful form of being in the moment that you can possibly imagine. And I I hate sounding so corny about this, but it really is just there's nothing like it. There's there's absolutely nothing like when it's all on the line, literally life is on the line, and you come away from it, like that that feeling is something that you can't really match. And once you get one taste of it, I think it's just something you crave forever, really. Like there's when I land a run and that like pure ecstasy comes over you, or when I do a mountain bike race and I get to the bottom and I'm in one piece and I'm healthy and I had a great run. There's there's like no feelings like those pure life moments where you're just absolutely like there's nothing else, you don't think about anything else. You you almost blackout completely go into this flow state, and it's it's it's the best. It like gives me chills talking about it.

SPEAKER_03 35:28

I I um I'm I was right there with you. The the words you uh I didn't want to give you the words because you uh uh I wanted to hear it from you, and you actually went you you you said them. In my head, what I was hearing is living in the present. And and um not again not saying you have to go be an adrenaline junkie to live in the present, but I think this is a great extreme example of how sometimes when life is threatened, we do a better job of living.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

When life isn't threatened, we sometimes take too much for granted and we we wait. We wait for that right time. And I think this is a perfect example of how I could guarantee, and and this is you know a question I have coming up, but those around you are you know are scared about that because they don't see the present. They're you know, they're more worried of what could happen. But like you said, is by taking your fears and kind of setting them aside but also learning what they are, uh you can become more present and you can live and actually live that life you want of quality rather than you know the ten years of never being able to do that and look at all the things you've succeeded in, um you know, to with that.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Um, failures along the way, but it's definitely like you said, it's and like you said, it doesn't have you don't have to go out and be an extreme sports athlete, any of that crazy stuff. That's just like that's the fuel that's you know, but plenty of people I know I've had the same exact conversation with musicians, with artists, with just pure scholars. Like some people get this exact rush when they when they like go into their test and they're like bang, like doctors, nurses, all the surgeons. I've had this exact conversation with so many different people. Musicians stand out to me the most because that's that's the one that I've I've actually talked to, I think, the most and had the most relation to is they just they just go with it, they just flow and they love it. And a lot of the time musicians too are pretty like put aside by their family. That's kind of just the the general consensus. They're like, oh, you want to be a rock star, like yeah, whatever. But like that's way crazier to me, like just fully stepping away from everything and chasing your dreams of doing that, because there's really nothing to show for it. Like, for for us, at least we can kind of show that we're pretty good at what we do, but unless you get noticed by a record label, unless like that song gets published, like it there's a lot less to show for it, but they just it makes them happy. Whatever takes them in the zone into their their zen, their zone, and makes them just feel like they're living, that's exactly I think what the general message should be. Like whatever whatever makes you go into that flow state and makes you just absolutely love every second, just pure bliss, just do it. It's it's even if you only have a little bit every day to do it.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

It's a deeper core of happiness as opposed to uh a happiness on the surface and a sadness inside from suppressing that. Um you you you mentioned family, and and I've kind of gone around that and and I actually do want to get into that now. Um have you, you know, with without throwing anybody under the bus, um, but with family and friends around you, have you dealt with doubt? And and you could almost you could almost use yourself um as as a person as well. But um uh like you said, sometimes when you use these as as a tool that your happiness is, and you go in that uh when somebody doesn't see uh that core heart speak um as clear as it is to you when you're on top of the hill, it's not clear to most of the others. And so sometimes the reaction is a little bit of doubt, it's a little bit of um uh I don't want to use the word negativity because it it um it is negative in a way, but it it's to them there they don't see it as negative. It it it they're trying to help, if you will. But um, but yeah, that that doubt, how how do you uh process that and and have you dealt with that um in getting to your success?

SPEAKER_02 39:59

Yeah, definitely a little bit. Luckily, my parents and pretty much all my closest friends around me have always been pretty supportive. My parents, especially, like they've been over the moon supportive from the start. And uh I've actually been with my girlfriend for six years now, and she's she's a downhill alpine skier too. She's insane. Like she's she's crazy, she does everything that I do, and more. I'm always chasing her around. So, luckily, my parents and my girlfriend and my girlfriend's family, everyone has been insanely over-the-top supportive, especially since I've moved out to Utah. But I'd say when I lived back east, that was one of the main things that I was trying to move away from was that doubt. And because back there it's more the the traditional sports world. Like if you're a skier, skateboarder, biker, you're kind of a loser, you know. Like if you're not playing hockey, basketball, Ivy League sports, you're kind of just an outcast. And I was really serious in the hockey. That was I was I'd say equal talent level hockey to skiing, and it was really hard to give that up. But um, yeah, I'd say the East Coast people were definitely more doubtful, but not so much doubtful. It's just they didn't understand, like you said, they don't understand that core, like, I want to be a skier. Like they think I'm gonna go move out to Utah and go live in a van and like just like just ski, you know, which there's nothing wrong with that. But that wasn't what I was trying to do. I was trying to go out and chase my dreams of being a real professional athlete, like being the kids that I or the guys that I watched in movies when I was 10 and 12 years old. And yeah, the East Coast people were definitely a little bit hard to understand and hard to get it through to them what I was doing. So I and when I was back there, I felt like I was just being held back by this doubt because their doubt was getting put into my head, and I kind of outgrew the East Coast a little bit. I felt like I felt like the opportunity was in Utah and Colorado in these states where skiing really was respected and it was a real sport in people's eyes. And that was definitely a big, big pivotal move was kind of just surrounding myself by skiers, not uh Ivy League athletes, I guess is the the best way to put it. It was definitely just surrounding myself with people like-minded. Like when I came out here and I have a goggle tan on my face, I don't look weird. I I fit in, you know. When I go back east to Boston and I have a goggle tan on my face, people like come up to me and they're trying to wipe off my face. They're like, Oh Sam, you got something, uh you got something on your face, let me see. And I'm like, no, no, no, it's just a goggle tan. They're like, goggles, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 42:37

I'm like, Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

So it's all right.

SPEAKER_03 42:41

So uh if if we were to flip that, um be because you know, uh I I'd like to look at at all perspectives and and try to understand and try to help. So, you know, here we are on the inside and you're receiving a little bit of this. Let's say you're on the other side and and you're the one who sees somebody and you're trying to support them. Um what would you say to them as a way of you know uh being able to give you and and I don't want so when I say support, I feel like it's forcing the idea that you have to support it. And that's not what I'm asking. I'm I'm asking more in like uh how to help them help you and and and almost help themselves as well in that process. Um, you know, like uh how do you help your how do you how do you create the confidence in a person you're trying to support um to better understand how their heart speaks with that skill. Does that make sense? Um yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

Um I think just being honest with yourself is is huge. That's that's one thing. If you want to be a rock star and you can't play the guitar, you can't play the drums, your voice is horrible. Like I think there There's obviously a certain level of being like purely honest with yourself and not having like hopeless optimism. But also knowing that like really practice can get you anywhere. If you really love something enough and you see yourself working hard at it for those 10,000 hours that they say it takes to master something, then really anything is possible. But it's I think just telling someone how much hard work they're gonna have to put in. If that scares you, then don't then don't do it. But if you're like, hey, you're gonna have to put 10,000 hours into this before you even get to the point where you're like remotely good at it, or where you're gonna start seeing success. And if there's doubt in their mind from the start, don't do it. I think just having that no doubt mindset knowing you can do it, this is a hard one to explain. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 45:11

This one you you know, it's um as you said that one of the things I I I think I see is the consistency. So I I think sometimes what happens is people see the finish line. I'm one of them as well. I want to get to the finish line. But what we forget is that journey.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

Yeah, and I relate to that huge.

SPEAKER_03 45:32

Yeah, and and the consistency. And what that consistency is, is waking up every single day going, I didn't get it yesterday, but I know how what I'm gonna try today to get one step further. Um and and uh one thing I would say maybe too is on the outside of like, you know, um seeing a little bit deeper of that consistency, and if they got that consistency, that that's where you know I I I feel the proof of that is rather than the success. Um sometimes, if if that makes sense. Because it's like you know, I guess yeah, as you said, the 10,000 hours it takes somebody uh to get there, um but it's less of the skill, it's more of the consistency because as they do it and if they're continuing that, you know, they're they're uh they're bound to get somewhere if they if they keep going. But like you said, sometimes sometimes you can't make you know, I was one of those that wanted to be on the stage. You you you can't do it if you don't got it. But yeah, yeah, yeah. If you keep trying, you know, there there is you know that consistency. So um Yep.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

Being open-minded and also a lot, like yeah, you actually kind of just spurred up a lot in my head with exactly what you were saying. Being open-minded and enjoying the journey, like you said, because I think as long one thing that was really comforting from the start when I was 12 years old, one of my first ski coaches told me it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. And because there was like this one kid that did a trick before me and he beat me in a competition, and I was so mad about it. But I was like, I can do that, like, why don't you let me do that? Like, I could have beat him. He's like, it's a marathon, not a sprint. He's like, You could do that, but you're gonna skip the five steps it takes to get there, and then when you go to take that next step, you're gonna be screwed. And I'm like, Oh, okay, okay. He's like, we need to pound the fundamentals into you, we need to teach you these things so that when you want to take it to that next level and the coach isn't there to tell you how to do it, you have the tools and you're ready to do it. And enjoying that journey, like you said, is huge because you never know what you're gonna learn along the journey, too. Is you're on that journey, you might find something you like more, or you might like I know a lot of skiers that end up going into ski coaching because they find the passion way more in helping younger kids get to the level that they wanted to be at, and they get whatever X amount of steps through their ski career, and they're like, I just want to help someone, I just want to teach someone the things that I want to learn, or and I think just trusting like exactly you hit the nail on the head with this one, trusting that process and enjoying the journey and not focusing on that finish line. Because there's so many times where I've been, let's say, in Europe for one ski competition or whatever. And if I didn't enjoy those six days before the ski competition, like skiing with my friends, training, learning new tricks, going out to eat, like experiencing life there, then when I got to that competition and I didn't have the outcome I wanted, I would have I would have been heartbroken, you know, if I was like, I gotta win, I gotta win, I gotta win, I can't have fun, I gotta win, then I I would have had regrets, but just enjoying that journey, enjoying the process, absorbing everything along the way, and knowing that if you don't get the finish line product that you want, that you still progressed and you still learned and you still became better through the process, regardless of the outcome. Like so many life skills have been learned through skiing and biking and all the things that I've done, regardless of if I won the competition. I would not change any of the experiences I've had just because of the lessons I've learned and the things that I've seen and done along the way. And I think knowing that, like you said, if you're willing to do be consistent and learn, then along the way, no time is a waste. It it was all everything had a value. And I think that's huge. And I think that's really comforting too, is knowing that no matter what goes along on the journey, good, bad outcomes, whatever, it's all learning and you're it's all skills you're gonna use at some point. So there's no there's no wrong answer and there's no wrong journey. Like you said, even if you're hopelessly optimistic and you're doing something that you absolutely know you can't do, like you're still learning, you're still progressing, and you're still making yourself better in some aspect or another. And I think that's huge and that's comforting, and that kind of inspires confidence to do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_03 50:07

The the struggle almost makes the win even more meaningful, yeah?

SPEAKER_02 50:11

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely when you when you battle for something for a long time and it doesn't just come at the snap of a finger. I think I think that's one real big issue with our day and age right now, too, is Instagram likes are so instant at the click of a finger. Like all these things are so instant, so much instant gratification in our generation. And like I guess that's kind of just the way we've been raised. Yeah, that kids just expect that to happen when they go get a career too. And that the hard truth is it just doesn't 99% of the time you gotta actually work for it.

SPEAKER_03 50:47

It's uh I would say from my journey and the things I've done is is that sometimes it it's it almost makes you more hungry for the more difficult stuff or the the bigger struggle because that finish line you know feels so good. And so each time you want to up it and make it a little bit more challenging because when you get there, it means something, and it means something to you. It doesn't it's it's not the other people, it it's definitely it's to you.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

No, I think when you overcome things when you overcome something crazy, like you're saying, it makes that next challenge seem even easier. It seems makes that next challenge, even if it is a bigger challenge, it seems less daunting because you're like, Oh, I just did that, why can't I do this? Rather than just like looking at this massive daunting issue right in front of your face, and you're like, I can't tackle this, no way. But from that experience, like you're saying, you can it kind of gives you that feeling of I can do anything, that confidence.

SPEAKER_03 51:49

Uh kind of like a person in the audience like me looking at what you do, like, how the heck can you do that? But at the same time, to you, it's just, you know, uh uh, you know, the 20,000 thousandth can't even say it. But you know, the the many hours you spent doing it. Um and and you know, there's that one small thing you're working on every single time. Um so in your head, you're you've got that to someone who hasn't even started, they see that you know as as something difficult. But um yeah, no, I I I think that's strong. Um as as a way to kind of uh wrap this up and and kind of bring it to an end. Um first is there kind of I I I usually ask a question here. Um so with with choose your attitude, create your life is is um the big logo. Um and what I like to do, especially with our talk and everything, and then in in your head, um when you hear that, how do you interpret that? Choose your attitude, create your life.

SPEAKER_02 52:54

I really think it hits the nail on the head on its own and it it explains everything it needs to explain. Um when my mom, or when I was 12 years old, my mom actually read me the book The Secret. I don't know if you've read that.

SPEAKER_01 53:08

No.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

And uh that just introduced the law of attraction, kind of just all general kind of human, human nature laws, all that and from that point on, I've really believed that whatever you think you can create, like whatever you believe, whatever you really, really believe, you can it'll happen if you really want it to happen. And that choose your attitude statement definitely resonated with me pretty hard because it it really is like if you wake up and you think today's gonna suck, then today's gonna suck. Like, no, there's no two ways around it. If you wake up and you have a horrible day ahead of you, but you wake up, roll out of bed, you're like, I'm gonna kick today in the ass. Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take today down, no problem. Then just like that simple little like statement in the morning in your head to start that day, you're gonna crush it compared to obviously the negative. So I think choosing your attitude, believing in yourself, knowing the difference between fear and nerves, and just going out and doing what you want, whatever makes you happy, whatever brings you that like pure living moment. Uh just as corny as it sounds, all that stuff. If if you just like everyone has bad days, I'm not saying go out and every day is a great day, but you can make your bad days better by putting on a smile or doing something nice for someone, or whatever. I mean, when I wore the shirt in the photo that I posted, it was in the Zion Narrows. When I wore that shirt that day, we were the first one in the Narrows, and on the way out, there was probably 1500 people walking up, and I've never gotten more compliments on a shirt in my life. It was crazy. The amount because because everyone is at Zion for the same reason, which is really cool, but it was like so crazy to me that all these people were reading my shirt and going, Oh man, like have a good day. Like, I love that shirt, or oh, like choose your attitude. That's so cool. Where can I get that? And everyone was there for the same reason. Everyone was there to get an escape from their COVID life, get an escape from their quarantine or whatever. And like everyone was in the narrows that day to see something beautiful, have a good time, spend family time, like all these like very positive things. Like, no one was in the no one was like, okay, I'm gonna go to Zion Narrows today, have a crappy day, complain about it, and be mad. Like, you know, everyone was like, everyone woke up to go to the Zion Narrows to see something life-changing, have a lot of fun, and they chose their attitude that day to have a good day. And regardless of what you're doing, you can have a good day too. And as corny as that sounds, like it it is what it is. And it was so cool to see that day how many people were stoked on my shirt. Just like literally a black shirt, three words on it. They were pumped. So many people were so pumped.

SPEAKER_03 56:09

I I uh I I I I it's very inspiring to hear that. Um, and and at the same time, I I will admit um to have a shirt like this and to think more on the the self-side of having a shirt to remind yourself, but to actually get more encouragement from the outside in um is pretty exciting. Um but um yeah, I I I think this, you know, this wraps up uh an amazing journey. Uh uh you have quite an amazing story. Um you you know, with with the adrenaline um to to doing these hardcore sports, um and and it really opens kind of it it it brings challenges uh to the surface and makes them visual. Um and that's one thing I I I love about you know kind of having you on and and you know being able to see with the shirt and everything, and um, you know, it it it really brings that type of struggle with some of our traumas that are not visual like this. Um but it helps you visualize it. And um I I appreciate you ha having you on. And um, is there anything you you can think of outside of um uh how can people find you and um you know give you some support?

SPEAKER_02 57:35

Oh yeah, yeah, sweet. Then uh seriously, thank you for having me on. This is awesome. I love chatting. I love I'm actually a big podcast listener myself. I just love listening, regardless of opinions, whatever. Like I love listening to whatever anyone has to say because you're always gonna learn something from it. And um, I really appreciate you having me on. This was awesome. I hope I didn't ramble too much for everyone listening.

SPEAKER_03 57:55

No, it was perfect.

SPEAKER_02 57:56

Um sweet, sweet, yeah. Um, so I'm on my first and last name, Ryan R-Y-A-N underscore McKelman, M-C-E-L-M-O-N. If you want to remember it and tell your friends, it's like McLemon, but you switch E. That's the easiest. Oh, there you go, yeah. And then um I'm on TikTok too, Ryan.mackelman. That's probably gonna get taken down. There's a lot worse content on there. Nothing on TikTok is that great. I just get on there just because it's good to have a presence kind of everywhere. And um someone asked me, how do you define success? And I thought of it as would 12-year-old Ryan be stoked on where 22-year-old Ryan is today? And I like I said, I had heard that from someone else. That's not my original thought. But when someone said I read that in someone's Instagram caption or something, and I was like, oh my god, like that hits home completely. And I think that regardless of where you are, successes, middle of your journey, end of your journey, retired, whatever. I think that statement, if you just remind yourself every morning when you wake up, like, would 10 or 12-year-old you be happy of current version of you? That's like one of the that that statement alone has completely like I know for a fact, like it's made me do things that I wouldn't before because I'm like, okay, like 12-year-old Ryan would want you to do this, so just do it. Like, don't be a baby. So that that statement was pretty cool to me. I I always I always love that one. No matter where you are, success is not like successful, homeless on the street, whatever. If if you're 12 hooked on you, then you're you're crushing it, you're doing well.

SPEAKER_03 59:44

Sometimes our uh the adult life uh takes away from the child in us. Um, but as simple as that statement is, it still is extremely strong. Um and uh I I had a discussion the other day about legacy, and um, you know, if if you were to die tomorrow, um, you know the life that you've lived, is that something you know that that you feel and I I think that resonates with that, you know, it is is the 12-year-old you would they be happy with who you are now? Um it's that self-strength in yourself. Um absolutely that's awesome. Um it's huge.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:27

That statement's uh whenever I'm whenever I'm feeling down in the dumps, too. I always think of that statement and always cheers me up. That's always a good one.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:34

No, that's great. Um it's true too, because it like you know here we are in our adult life, and there's so many things that stresses us out. And I remember being a kid being like, I just want to be an adult. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now we're an adult, and it's like trying to take all those things and put them aside just thinking of it is like um as we grow, we learn more, we see more, and those become uh fears. And definitely, you know, and so that's you know that that's huge. Um and you could almost relate that to like your uh with Sammy J or your injury um and stuff like that. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:17

Thank you for listening. To reach out to Nick and the Choose Your Attitude community, find us on social media at choose attitude create life. Share your attitude with the world with merch guaranteed to encourage at chooseyourattitude.com. Be sure to share us with friends, family, and colleagues. And while you're at it, leave us an uplifting review. We very much appreciate it. Check back for new episodes. Until next time, choose your attitude, create your life.