Podcast Episode 023: Coloring Today Pretty with Stephanie Feger!

In this episode we're interviewing Stephanie Feger, an author who blends her passion for helping others, with her communication and marketing skills. Stephanie uses her amazing skillsets as a way to provide unique coaching and consulting for both authors and entrepreneurs.

Stephanie's coachings are customized to meet the needs of the specific group she's working with, leaving attendees with meaningful and tangible ways to live a life guided by perspective.

Feger dives into how things truly do happen at the right place, right time, and most importantly, for the right purpose. 

Here's our chat.

StephanieFeger.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Choose Your Attitude Podcast. My name is Nicholas Strand, founder and CEO of Choose Your Attitude. I'm your host today. I'm so excited to have you. We are broadcasting on YouTube and all major podcast platforms. Make sure to subscribe to us on the YouTube channel, like us, leave a comment. Don't forget to click that bell to sign up for those notifications. And if you're listening to the podcast, subscribe, leave us a review. We love to read all of your comments. Today I am super excited to have Stephanie Fager. She is a beautiful friend, colorful heart, and we're gonna talk about some of her projects she's got going on. Um, one of them is uh the inspirational guide to living a life in perspective. Uh Color Today Pretty is is the beautiful book uh that she created. In addition to that, she created a journal to help you kind of get deeper into your colorful self. Um, you know, find your heart, find your way of life. And we're gonna talk about that today, and I couldn't be more excited to share that with you, and I hope you are too. But first, as always, we gotta be able to pay for this podcast. This podcast is made possible by viewers like you and your continuous support, and of course, our sponsors. This episode is brought to you by the Choose Your Attitude brand, a premium encouragement brand. Choose Your Attitude is a community that champions the idea that attitude is a choice within everyone's grasp. A brand isn't good without a logo, and boy, does choose your attitude have a meaning. Turn it on its side, it's an hourglass for time, two hearts for community. The one on the left is your past, while the one on the right is your future lifting up your past. And of course, the butterfly effect. Although we can't control the trials and tribulations we go through, we do control how we approach them with the power of choice of our attitude. Choose your attitude is a premium encouragement brand that offers men's and women's apparel and accessories. Lots of selections. Use podcast 20 and get 20% off your first order. That's podcast 20 and get 20% off your first order. Shop now at chooseyourattitude.com. And if you would like to be a sponsor on the Choose Your Attitude Podcast, email us at podcast at chooseyourattitude.com. Again, that's podcast at chooseyourattitude.com. All right, let's get started. Let's roll the intro.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Let's step back a little, take a look inside our true self, get comfortable in the uncomfortable, and let's embrace our reality. Life is tough, but so are you. Welcome to the Choose Your Attitude Podcast with Nicholas Strand. Join Nick, author of Loving Someone Who's Dying, as he shares his experiences of life lost to life on the road as a traveling roadie. He and his guests will get into real topics while encouraging you to let go of the past, lift up the present, and fiercely build your better tomorrow. Let's get through this together. Now, here is your host, Nick Strand.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Welcome to the Choose Your Attitude Podcast. I am excited to have Stephanie Fager. Stephanie, welcome.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

Thank you. I'm so excited to be here today.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

You know, it is amazing. Stephanie and I met. Um we actually, you know, kind of three degrees of separation, should you say. We came in and uh she was actually instructing me uh and and the class that we were in um on a webinar, and uh we later connected and she started working with us, and you know, I her story is just great, and uh we definitely connected, and so I I wanted to take an opportunity to share her story on on the podcast, and so introduce yourself and and go ahead and share share your story.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

Awesome, thanks, Nick. Well, I absolutely love how call it God, the universe, law of attraction, whatever you want to call it, how um things work in the right ways at the right time for the right purpose if you if you let it happen and kind of watch things evolve. And obviously, our connection was serendipitous and extremely purposeful. Um and I, as I reflect back on my life up to this point, I can see that same movement in every kind of every kind of step along the way. So let me take you back, oh, I don't know, you know, 10 years when I was on top of the nonprofit corporate ladder and from the outside looked like the whole world was just my oyster. And I mean, I guess it should have been. But the reality, you know, Nick, is many people out there might have accomplished the things that they think that they've always dreamed to accomplish, but then something inside might not feel right. And it was during that process, during that experience, that I started to realize that is this what success is? Like, is this where I'm supposed to be? Am I supposed to do what the world tells me I'm supposed to do? Or is there something bigger? Is there something more? And it was interesting at that time, I started to have these little unique situations happen. Nothing big. I call them ordinary miracles. Um, everybody listening has them every day and honestly multiple times a day. Um, but I just started to notice and observe them and see them as something extremely powerful in my life. Um, and you know, I started to kind of take note of it, just kind of jot down and it started to observe. Well, simultaneously during that time, I was um working for this large nonprofit, and I had a feeling that layoffs were on the horizon. I'll never forget this. I had this feeling. And it was during that process that a coworker and I sat down one day and said, So what would you do if you weren't doing this anymore? And I remember her asking me that, and I thought, I don't know. I'm supposed to retire here. Like I'm doing what I went to school for, you know. I I'm following the steps that my parents set us forged ahead, and you know, I'm doing what the book says to do. I'm going to retire here. And then I thought, yeah, but the reality is that we think we are our job, but but we're not, you know, where there's more to us. So I had to listen to this little piece of me on the inside. So I couldn't answer her question. But instead, I flipped it and said, Well, what do you think I should be doing? Maybe that's something everyone looks like needs to do. Go, go reflect for yourself. Um, what do you think you should be doing if you're not doing this? And if you can't answer that, ask somebody that loves you in your life, what do you think I should be doing? Because I will never forget, I'm still friends, really, really good friends with this girl to today. But she she goes, Oh, easy, Stephanie, you should be blogging. And I remember Nick laughing inside, going, There's no money in blogging. Like, how am I gonna make it have a career in blogging? But this is not a story about Stephanie blogging. This is a story about um how I used that little push to realize that there was more to me and there was something, a story that I needed to share. So I remember going home that night and reflecting, almost taking it like a challenge. Oh, you think I should be blogging? All right, well, watch me. I'm going to. And I woke up the next day and told my friend, I'm not gonna wait till I'm laid off or impacted by something outside of my control to do something that feels good for me on the inside, that's cathartic. I'm gonna start today. And so I did. So little did she know um prior to that moment, I had been writing those little ordinary miracles in my life down because I didn't want to forget them. I wanted to capture it for my kids in some form or fashion. Um, and I started to find that writing to me was so cathartic. I would get up in the middle of the night, in the middle. I remember when I was dealing with pregnancy insomnia, and I would not be able to sleep, but I would get up and I would close my eyes and I put my hands on the keyboard and say, What is it that I need to get out? What do I need to unearth? And that was the beginning of what began became an entire life change for me. Um, those little vignettes, those little components were huge, but Nick, it was it was a dream that changed everything. Uh changed everything. I mean, I I asked you, ask people on the call, like who knows a dream really has power.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Yeah, so it was it was um, I'll never forget the dream. I want to walk you through it. I went to bed, probably having watched way too much um America's Got Talent, because I woke up as a judge on a on a national um next big star type show, and I was a mean judge, kind of like a Simon Cowell type judge, um, very direct, had a lot to share. And in that dream, as the judge, I remember this young boy walking out on the stage and he had a canvas and an easel and he put his canvas up and made sure it was all nice and straight, and he got a brush out, and he went to go make his first few brush strokes to show me that he, the artist that he could become. And little did I know, I had to share bad news because the moment that the that the brush stroked on the canvas, it was a no-go. It was awful. He was not good, right? We all know that, right? Those people who try to look at something, and you're like, don't quit your day job because you don't need to be doing that. Um, and I had to share this news with him. And so if you've watched any show like America's Got Talent or American Idol or anything like that, usually people um have really strong reactions when they get feedback that's no, because of course they think it's they're phenomenal. Um, but when I gave this young boy this feedback, he didn't react or respond the way I expected. Instead, he took his canvas and he gave gifted it to me and he said, That's okay. I just want you to color something pretty today. And I woke up. And all day I kept thinking, what does this mean? Like it was one of those dreams I couldn't shake. Um, and I kept thinking, why am I trying to like, why am I a judge? What am I trying to balance in my life? And then it hit me that the dream wasn't about me. It was about what this young boy did. It was like this calling I was being given that guess what, Stephanie? You there's a million ways to get from point A to point B. And this young kid couldn't control how I was going to react, you know, if I was gonna say yes, but he could control if that was going to stop him or if that was going to propel him to get farther and go places, right? I mean, I have three kids, Nick. I've learned that there is not one way to get something done. There's a million ways. And so this young boy was like, great, thank you. Thanks for your feedback. You might not think I'm good yet, but I bet you if that young boy wasn't just a figment of mad imagination, he'd be like the next Bill Gates because he was going to, you know, not let that stop him. And it left me with that charge, you know, because he gifted me with it. He said, Stephanie, you need to go color something pretty today. You need to take control of your moments. There's gonna be things in life that are extremely out of your control. But what is within your control are your reactions and your responses to it. How are you gonna let the hard times in life um impact you? Are you gonna let it push you down? Are you gonna let it be uh an obstacle to give you a stepping stone further? Um, you know, that I've realized is what defines you. And so that was the beginning, Nick, of me really making Color Today Pretty something of what it is.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

I love it. It's you know, it that you know, it was a dream, but even within that is is uh you know almost uh magical and just hearing that because it it's the same idea of um you know you everything, no matter how difficult it is, has a beauty behind it. Um and and you know, yes, it although it's difficult uh at times to you know to see the beauty out of it, but the power uh of that beauty when it's found is super inspiring. And you know, you to to create it into this art form and to give you that light, um, you know, that that's beautiful, and then you haven't even stopped. You just keep going now from that. Um I did.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Well, what you just said triggered something to me for a long time. I mean, there were things that I unearthed as I took the Color Today Pretty Charge and turned it into a book um with a seven-step process on how to find perspective in life. I I was beginning to unearth things that I had buried very, very deep and that were very heavy and hard that I had never discussed. And what I came to realize is that um everything in life doesn't happen on purpose, but it has the opportunity to happen for purpose. And if you can take a step back and realize that um you get to decide the purpose, you don't have to let something define you. You can allow it to give you the chance to to refine you, to help shape you into the person that you're gonna become, whether that is to be um to challenge you to be better or to do something different or to go down a path you would have never dreamed possible. Um I couldn't be doing what I'm doing today, a woman who was impacted by corporate layoff, Nick. Um I couldn't have done it, right? If I hadn't taken this dream and the challenge that my friend gave me to start putting on paper the way that I see life, um, I couldn't have I couldn't have gotten where I am today where I help authors and small business owners be able to um become empowered and share their messages with people that that need and deserve it, if I hadn't taken that leap of faith and realized that I get to define the the the purpose of what was happening.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

I I think you know sometimes we get so comfortable in where we are that uh we become uh the word that comes to mind is non-complacent, but I don't think that's the proper word. But you know, same type of idea where we just okay, this is. Um but it takes a moment to kind of kick us out and to realize that there's a greater, you know, being out there. Um and I I I think you know kind of what I hear in that message as well is that you know, either whether whether it be a a non-controlled uh circumstance or you know and or actually the power of you taking and and looking at that and really looking at the core and saying, well, I am comfortable here, but am I happy here?

SPEAKER_03 14:25

It's funny you mention the word comfortable because I have come to get very uncomfortable and comfortable, and very comfortable and uncomfortable because I'm realizing that when I'm comfortable, which is where I was after working a decade in a national nonprofit, then I am not positioned for when change is about to come. I am too comfortable. And the beautiful things in life I've come to find happen when something didn't work right. So, Nick, I giggle because I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna use my garden as an example. Hey, one from from one farmer to another, you get it. Yes. Um I um I live on 25 acres and have the opportunity to enjoy gardening. But you know, I can't tell you this last two years we've lived on this farm how much I want my garden to work, and yet it won't work. Like it's working, hopefully working legit and I keep killing stuff. And I realize through the process, like I sometimes I tell my husband, why can't it just work? And then I realize it's in the not working that's helping me to make it work better, better every time that something doesn't work. That gives me the charge to say, Am I gonna give up? And giving up sometimes isn't bad. Maybe it's not the right thing at the right time. Or am I going to figure out how can I make this? How can when my garden does work, I have so much that I go to the farmer's market and people just can't wait to get all of my tomatoes, right? So I just I feel like I've started to realize that it's when I'm uncomfortable, when things aren't working as planned, that that I become a better person. I become stronger in whatever it is I'm focusing on and more passionate about my work. Um, but it but it's still hard, I'm not gonna lie. It's still a hard moment.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

By all means, you know, the the challenges are still there. But I think the the the golden nugget out of this, um as I one of our friends says that all the time, and as I said it, I realized I I was using that. Um but um it it's enjoying through the process that we can't control. So if it's something sad or or something difficult like that, being able to find the joy and to be able to build out of that is is where the power comes from. And so I I guess one of the questions I I would ask is, you know, here you are, you know, corporate, you know, kind of comfortable. Um but now you're so involved in enjoying, and it almost seems that you become more the word that comes to mind is productive, but I feel like productive is too business-like. Um I'm looking for a powerful word or empowering words. Empowered empowered or fulfilling. Um do you see that in your work too?

SPEAKER_03 17:16

That yes, on lots of levels. So I remember when I got the call that the entire department I worked with worked on with was being dissolved, and I found out that my coworkers were in tears, and I was like, yes, it's finally time. I knew it was coming because I knew that I was not going to leave at that point. I was not gonna leave the comfortable to do what I felt like I was being called to do. Now I realize that was in 2017. Now I realize that that impact was actually setting me up for where I'm at today. You see, you know, you see, Nick, I didn't know that the pandemic was gonna hit. I didn't know that I would have children who could utilize some additional um support at home and in school. I didn't know that there was a whole group of people who um don't have the uh skill set that I bring to the table that could help them do. I didn't know all of that. Um, I just knew I was called to write this book and I needed to do something around it. I remember applying while it was on unemployment to all of these jobs, and you know, I had this massive title, Nick, and like so much credibility, but I was not getting any phone calls back. And I called my friend who was also laid off and I said, Why? What do you think it is? And it hit me. I was like, I know why, because I'm not supposed to go back, not supposed to do it. I have um other things that I'm supposed to do, and I just have to trust the process. So, you know, then COVID, did you hear that? I'm sorry. I have a cat fight going on behind um the computer. Um, but you know, now COVID hit, and I had always had this inkling in the back of my mind that my kids might value and and succeed and thrive in homeschool. And I'm able to um navigate the homeschool journey with my kids and run a business and um feel fulfilled, find a different level of peace, something that I have greater control over. Um and it's almost like my choose my own destiny. Now I'm not sure that I could go back in another, in another world in another, you know. I've I just I feel like I'm making a greater impact now with people who need it more.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

I love it. Well, you've you've definitely you know encouraged me through a lot and and I love that. Um, you know, one of the things you uh your your book kind of the tit uh inspirational guide to living a life in perspective. And it's uh and exactly like you said, of of you know, taking that pause and maybe stepping outside of where you stand to kind of see you know the true you know of where you are, because sometimes in that comfort you you're blinded to some of those things.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

You know, Nick, I've started to realize that the story that we have up here and the story that lives out here are not always in alignment. And when you talk about perspective, what I think that's really about is finding a way to marry the story that you use with the voice in here and the story that you use out here that you post on social makes it look all beautiful, right? Um I think that if you can start to shift how you see the world and how you see things happen to you, what happens is you start to attract to things in your life that are going to feed you. Um it's not that, it's not that negative things don't happen. You just realize it's not worth your energy to spend to spend focused on that. Instead, you start to realize, you know, I am, I am, my time is worth more than that. And I'm going to realize that that one day, it might be a decade from now, one day what I went through or what I'm experiencing right now will make sense in some way. Not that I went through it, but that it got me to a place I'm supposed to be. And when you can realize that, then you look back and go, okay, all right. Um, I sure do not like where I'm at right now. This is very uncomfortable, and I'm not happy with it. But what I do know is that I have the ability to control how I'm thinking, how I'm responding, how I'm interacting with the world at the moment. And that's the story up here. And once that story up here starts going, I call it um like a record player. Okay, you're a musician. You get it. Put it on a record player. And that story just kind of goes. And if you fill that story with negative thoughts, the negative thoughts will keep coming. And what happens is it gets momentum. And as that gets momentum, it starts to go this way. And as it goes this way, it starts to um either become a self fulfilling prophecy or the law of attraction. You start to live out your thoughts or you start to attract what you really want in life. And I know that might sound a little woo woo, Nick, and I don't mean to be that way, but I really believe that perspective is about getting. Outside of what you see on social media, getting outside of the of what you can't control. There's so much. I have this talk with my with my family all the time. There's so much you can't control. Like, don't get hung up on certain things that you can't control. Not saying you shouldn't have an opinion on it, but you can't control it. Take a step back and say, all right, I'm gonna focus on what I can and I'm going to have a different perspective about it. Nick, if people do that, I'm not, I I feel like crazy sharing that, but that is game-changing in your life personally and professionally.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

I I've I've experienced it on both sides of, you know, obviously the the struggle, um, but at the same time, you know, the the we call it the come to Jesus moment, uh, you know, as I was writing the book and Brianna's quote, um, you know, and and that quote had lived on me for three or four years. Um Brianna had created that quote for many years. And so, you know, like you said, and even with the struggle that I'm going through right now, you know, that that perspective of maybe the struggle you have, you don't have an answer to right now, but live in the comfort that maybe down the road, you know, down the road, that answer is gonna be there. But as you keep trying to keep conquering and trying to, you know, understand or or or challenge yourself to to better that mindset and become comfortable with the relationship you have with yourself, it just makes every day even better.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

Yeah, I mean it costs the same to have a good day and a bad day, the same cost, you know? It it it's like you use more muscles to frown than you do to smile. There are different, you know, you get to control those things. And why would you invest your energy going down a path of self-wallowing or pity or frustration? I mean, and let me backtrack and time out there, Nick. Um I go down that path too. Like I have that on the regular. Like I'm no perfect perspective human. But what that's the beautiful thing about what Color Today Pretty is all about is it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. What I mean by that is you're going down the road, someone cuts you off, you have road rage. Yes, I get that the way sometimes. I have the choice at that moment, like that moment, I'm allowed to say, hey, wait, that wasn't cool. I'm gonna stop and I'm gonna shift. And then something else happens, COVID hits, and I have a hot mess of a moment. And then I say, wait, okay, how can I find the silver lining here? Or something in life isn't working how I want, you know, and you're allowed to have those reactions and feelings. It's then when you when you I think perspective is when you can start to realize that you have those feelings and compartmentalize them or allow yourself to feel them and then say, I'm gonna put them here. And instead, I'm gonna take this and figure out how I can take this part of what I can control and find a level of fulfillment in that. Um, you know, give something with purpose, do something good, um, be the good. That I think that's the difference, that's the key secret, the secret sauce of perspective.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

I I think, you know, as you were saying that one thing I I kept remembering is you know, humans seem to be, you know, results-based. We always, you know, we're so hungry for results. And I think I think these are definitely huge tools on ways to do the action and create consistency um and as a way to form a set of patients so that way you can get those goals you want. And just like uh, you know, either losing weight or working out and gaining weight, or uh, you know, crops, farmers planting crops, um, it's all a patience game and it's all consistency. And so these tools are things to help because just like you, I I I go through the struggles too, and I don't know how many times I I look at my tattoo and I'm like gotta practice what you preach. Okay, let's work through this.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

But as you as you keep doing that and as you do find that relationship, you slowly get closer to closer to that trigger to then all of a sudden you're better in yourself.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

Um You know, I had somebody ask me after my book came out, which I thought was brilliant and something I'll let your listeners ponder too. If you knew what it took to get you where you are today, would you have taken that first step? And I looked at him very quickly and said, hell no, I wouldn't have. Really? I said, Oh, I absolutely love the fact that I um have now published two books and you know have a business that is that I love and you know, all of these things in life, right? That seem that are wonderful. I absolutely love where I'm at. But had I known what it would have taken to get there, I don't know that I would have done it, Nick. And so when you think of it in that way, I think that's where perspective comes in. Um somebody asks me, you know, what are you gonna do in five years? And I always say, I don't know what I'm doing in five minutes. So I have learned, right? I have learned with that journey that don't look too far ahead. The best yoga advice I ever got when I was trying to do the tripos is look five to six feet ahead on focus on a point five to six feet ahead of you. So in life, in business, in you know, your struggles, in your relationships, and everywhere in between, I think you're right. As people, we look for results and that leads to goals, and those goals lead to five to 10 year plans. And then you forget to live in the moment. And if you have given up all of that because of this long-term goal, then then have you really lived? Have you lived a fulfilled life? I'm not saying to, you know, sell everything and become a nomad. I don't, you know, if you want to do that, go for it, right? But what I am saying is I think that don't get hung up on, oh my gosh, well, this might change this, that might change that, and I might never get here. I could never have planned ever where I'm at today. And it took a series of challenges. I would never have been able to write my book had I not gone through some really, really heavy things in life, you know, or and be able to see the beauty and the ordinary. Like all of those things happened for purpose, with purpose, not for purpose, with purpose. And it was critical. So just focus on the five feet ahead of you. Like look where you're headed at that moment and don't allow that to dictate which which fork in the road you take, because the fork that you didn't consider might be the one that is game-changing that you wouldn't have ever even thought of.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

I I as you say that, it reminds me of when I completely hurt my back and I was, you know, really bad. And I remember calling out to the doctor, you know, and every day was a different report where one day I'm feeling great, the next day I'm completely down, and he's like, Alright, stop talking to me every day. Talk to me once a week, look at it that way. And that is something that I I I looked at it of, you know, kind of the same way of thinking it is that you know, we get caught up into so much of the struggle of now that we forget to kind of lift ourselves up like that and be able to see more of the picture, and when you can see more of it, you can see actually how greater you're doing, um, and and where you're going. I I had to a I I wanted to ask, you know, corporate Stephanie, um, sitting there kind of comfortable compared to now, Stephanie. Do you find yourself now that you've been able to overcome or or um challenge yourself in these ways um and get to where you are and and you know have that you know challenge to get to where you're going. Um fearless. Have you become more fearless?

SPEAKER_03 30:07

I have become more of a risk taker, yes. Um and it's because I am not scared of the risk. Because it's the risk, it's what was what got me here. The other thing that this has done for me, Nick, is I've also become more human. So I um I look back at corporate Stephanie and especially corporate Stephanie who moved up the ranks at a very young age that didn't have kids or was married, and I started managing a regional staff of people who were all older than me. And I will never forget, I'm still for good friends with one of my previous um staff members. And I remember he messaged me one day or called me. This is before messages, Nick. Like, let's be real. Like, I don't think we had text message back then. Um, or in her office messaging, but he called me and said, Hey, my son um is getting is getting his braces on tomorrow. Um, I just wanted to let you know. And I managed at that time staff, none of the staff lived in the same area. And I remember saying to him, Okay, great. Well, I think you have enough PTO, you're welcome to take some time. And then I go and fast forward, and you know, I have challenging pregnancies and I have a uh loss of a child, and you know, I then lose my job, and all these little things kind of fall into place. And I've I've told this this um individual in the past, I'm like, gosh, I am really sorry because corporate Stephanie focused on the the paperwork, the numbers, the what I'm supposed to do, but the human Stephanie realized you worked so hard. Go do the orthodontist thing because that's what life's about. You're you're working to live, not living to work. And so even though I have more at stake now running Empower PR group and and being an author and a speaker, um, because if I'm not doing it, then the work doesn't get done. I am more human in the process. And I feel like that actually, Nick, attracts the people I want to work with. Because the people I want to work with are human, more human too. Um, they see the beauty in collaboration and individuality and trying things and you know, being a team. Um, and and I didn't realize how much I needed that. So the beautiful part of that is I went back and apologized. And that's something I felt like I got the the opportunity to. Um, of course, my staff member was like, oh, get over it. It was no big deal. I'm like, oh, it was to me. I remember that all because I, you know, was moving up the ladder and doing what I thought the world wanted to do. Now I don't really care what the world wants me to do. I do what feels right and what I what I want to do. And that's I don't actually like saying that out loud. I do what I want to do. I don't mean it that way. I mean that I'm doing things that is gonna fulfill my life and make me feel like I'm helping people. So truly at the essence of who I am, I've come to learn in writing my book and in doing my consulting work with other individuals is I want to help provide value and help people. At the end of the day, I go back to I just want to help people. How can I help people? Whether that's helping them in their business, helping them in their personal life, helping them just their mindset shifts. I just want to help. Um, and I think it's because as I reflect, I see all the people that helped me. It's kind of like my pay it forward opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

It's uh it's so therapeutic uh to be able to lift out, and in a sense, it uh lets you become vulnerable to learn and to understand. And you know, a a teacher of mine uh always always he who told me and it always is stuck in my head. He says, you don't know anything until you can teach it. And so I've always been intrigued to teach it because when you teach it, you're not thinking how you know it. You're thinking of how can I be as absolutely and so I've always since I heard that as a high school, I I've I've you know looked at it that way. And um it's beautiful. It's very it's very therapeutic and and I love you know uh everything you're doing, and so much so that you're you've now created a a journal to be able to help people get to that moment.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

You know, it's funny when the book came out, um, the my first book, the Color to Be Pretty and Inspirational Guide to Living a Life in Perspective. Very quickly, people go, Well, I want a journal. And I'm like, I want a journal. And that's the they're like, Yeah, where's the journal? I said, I don't know. I just birthed the book. Like, who knows?

SPEAKER_00 34:52

It's a big undertaking. Baby steps, you know, um baby steps.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

And I will seriously never forget um this past Thanksgiving. It was the day before Thanksgiving. And I had been thinking about a guided journal for a while, but I wasn't sure what was what it needed to be. And of course, I had so many other priorities I should have been doing. But when my husband came home from work, he saw this passion in my face, like this. I was invigorated. He's like, What are you doing? And I'm like, I just cranked out 90% of a journal, like literally in a day. And he's like, What? I said, I don't know. Like when it's put on my heart, I have to get it out. And that's honestly the way that my writing has been, right? Hello, we're a part of the inspired writing committee. Um, you know, but it's true. And so, you know, the book, the journal just it wrote itself, and it's a collection of experiences that um, speaking engagements and such that I've done with more in-depth kind of research and a more practical approach to finding perspective, and really gives people who have read Color Today Pretty or not an avenue to be able to take perspective as a word in and of itself, invite it into your life and figure out how do you need to work through that? And what how do you do that? You know, and by figuring out your mindset, by figuring out navigating through the seven steps on how to kind of create clarity and make space. And then, and then here's the kickernick, just because you got it figured out today, what happens when the next crisis comes? So, you know, the the book is written in a way to prepare you for that next journey as well. So it was um a labor of love and is proof that um don't ever give up on your dreams. I mean, my book was a five-year in the making, the journal was three years in the making. And um, you know, they are they are something that is so meaningful to me. I I do have to share this story with you. Um, when I decided to publish my book, I remember the first one, I remember telling my husband, if I end up having 500 copies of this book in my basement and nobody buys it, it's okay because how I define success is not in the way that many authors probably would. Um, and I said, I my success will be that I can show my kids that when you have a dream, you can do something with it. Like make a dream a reality. That's honestly, I'm like, anything else is icing on the cake. Um, and I will never forget along the way, the people who have told me that this book changed their lives a couple, a couple of um months after the book, the first book came out. I received a message in the middle of the night from a lady who had just gone through a car wreck and rehabilitation because she had a stroke which caused the car wreck. And she said she was dealing with anxiety and she crawled into her closet in the middle of the night, brought her Kindle, pulled up the book, and my book was the first thing on her on her Kindle, and she read it in 15 minutes. She said, I saved her, which I thought was a little extreme. I don't really like I saved and she said you did. And then, you know, experiences like that have happened all the way up until last week. I had a speaking engagement with a small group of people, and I went to it and it was a lot of fun, but you never really know how you're changing the lives of people. And you know, much different engagement than speaking engagement than I've done in others because everyone was wearing masks, so you can't really even see expressions. And it was the next day I received an email from uh an attendee who reached out and said, I just want you to know I was quietly sobbing throughout the entire presentation because what you were saying was was touching me in ways I didn't expect. And the the message you say, you need to reach, preach from the rooftop. People need to hear this. Um, don't stop. And and I sat back and thought, yeah, okay, uh, I don't have 500 copies sitting in my basement. Like I'm making a difference, I'm helping people. Um, and I'm really excited because I think the journal takes everything that I've been living and and invites you into it. Invite instead of just allowing you to reflect, it invites you in.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

I think uh it's a it's a perfect example, not only uh to help, you know, as as we talk about all these different things, and people are probably like, okay, well now how do I apply? How do I apply? Well, this is the perfect step. But but I think one thing to share in this too, as as you just shared, everyone has a story. So everyone listening, just because we're up here sharing these stories, sharing these suggestions, we're only doing it because of that exact thing of knowing that by other people hearing that it empowers them. And so I guess this is my my moment where I'm sharing that you know, you your story is just as valuable, and that's kind of what this whole circle is, is that as soon as you step back and see how valuable your story is, that same power we've talked about this whole entire time, it it's just as as impactful.

SPEAKER_03 39:56

Absolutely. Yes, I I actually don't think I'm any different than anybody listening. Um, I just happen to feel like I was given um a charge to write it down. Uh, that doesn't mean anything different. Other people might use it as a charge to create beautiful music or art or um build a business or um or be fantastic at their day jobs or rescue cats, which sometimes I feel like is part of my college. We're a cat, a cat colony out here. Um, but you know, whatever that is, your story matters and your story is um has so much purpose. And if you harness that, if you harness that in conjunction with your per with perspective and your attitude, and you pair that all together, man, you have the power to to leave something, to create the ripple, um, to to make a difference in the life of somebody you probably will never met meet, uh, to leave a legacy. Um, and whatever that looks like at the end of the day, it's to make a difference in the life of another and in our world. And and Nick, when I sit down and and figure out if what would it mean for me to be successful in life and how would I feel fulfilled, it's that. At the end of the day, I just want to make a difference in the life of one.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

That's it's I I couldn't agree more. I think it's I it's extremely beautiful, and you you've done an amazing job, and um, you know, working together is always fun because you know, we I feel like we definitely inspire each other, and and you know, uh one of the ways that I I like to end this is I'd I'd love to ask, you know, um, you know, kind of connecting into uh you know our story, um, as you know, Brianna's uh quote, choose your attitude, create your life. Um, you know, as we've worked together, we've noticed the parallel of you know all of these things, which is very beautiful, but I always love to hear other voices, you know, and in their perspective of you know, the quote, choose your attitude. So I'd love to hear in in your your words.

SPEAKER_03 41:57

Oh, choose your attitude, in my opinion, is exactly what that young boy who was painting a picture was giving me. Color Today Pretty is congruent with choose your attitude. Um your life is built on a collection of moments, a collection of experiences, some good, some not so good. Um, but when you choose how you see the moments, whether you opt to color them um pretty or not, uh, you get the to carry the reins of your attitude. And it's in doing that where your life blossoms. That's where the beauty happens. Your life is based on how you see it. And, you know, look at look at the rich and famous and look at the people who live on the streets and everywhere in between, Nick. Nothing that the world can provide you is proof that you're going to live a life of massive fulfillment. The main thing that does, no matter how much money you make, where you live, who you're born to, your experiences, is how you see it and how you choose to react to it. Your life is in your hands.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

It's that's beautiful. Um it is. And um you've definitely uh is there anything else uh, you know, that kind of on your mind that we haven't touched that you wanted to maybe address or talk about?

SPEAKER_03 43:22

I mean, I'll we'll go ahead and send off, but I wanted to um no, I think you know, I I am truly honored that you asked me to share my story. It means so much to me. Um thank you for that. And I am so grateful that the world works in beautiful ways to connect like-minded people. And I think that whoever's listening today, uh, I think it's happening in their lives as well. So embrace it, embrace the rocky paths, embrace the rumble strips on the side of the road, embrace the twists and turns because the reality is, is the destination isn't really the destination that matters, it's the journey.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

Where can people find you? Where can people get a hold of you or connect uh with with your story?

SPEAKER_03 44:13

Absolutely. So if you go to stephaniefegger.com, that's Stephanie S-T-E-P-H-A-N-I-E, Fegger, F is in Frank. I have to say that, Nick. F is in Frank E-G-E-R.com. I realize my country accent makes F and S sound alike. So it's Fegger as an S. If you visit there, what you'll be able to find is learn a little bit more about my story, but you'll and my books, but you'll also get the chance to learn a little bit more about the business side of how of what I bring to the table. So if you happen to be an author who is looking to create a business or a business owner who is looking to leverage a book as a way to um deepen and up level yourself, I might be a great option to support you in that journey.

SPEAKER_00 44:52

I love it. And I noticed there's even a free gift at the top.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

You got it. There is. If you're looking for some inspiration, because let's be real, we all need it. Um, yes, my website has a free gift. So if you go to it, you've got some downloadables where you can get some um inspiration added right to your inbox.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

Stephanie, as always, it was beautiful to have you on. Thank you for being on. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 45:18

Absolutely. Thanks, Nick.

SPEAKER_01 45:20

Thank you for listening. To reach out to Nick and the Choose Your Attitude community, find us on social media at Choose Attitude Create Life. Share your attitude with the world with merch guaranteed to encourage at chooseyourattitude.com. Be sure to share us with friends, family, and colleagues. And while you're at it, leave us an uplifting review. We'd very much appreciate it. Check back for new episodes. Until next time, choose your attitude, create your life.