We are the Front Porch with Stacey Morgan - #244

Sherri Crandall chats with Stacey Morgan about the purpose of MomCo and how we are an important extension of the local church.   

We'd love to connect with you! Send us a direct message on Instagram or Facebook or email us at leaders@themom.co.

You can connect with Stacey at staceymorgan2000.com or @staceymorgan2000 on Instagram.

You can also find our cohosts on Instagram: @andreafortenberry, @ivymamma and @sherri_crandall.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Welcome to the Momco Leadership Podcast. We believe that life and leadership are better in community. We're here to equip and encourage you as a leader and we'll talk about real issues and practical tools to help you grow in your leadership, motherhood, and faith.

SPEAKER_04 0:21

Welcome to the Momco Leadership Podcast. My name is Sherry Crandall, and I'm your host today. And I have invited a dear friend of mine who also happens to be on the staff at Momco, Stacy Morgan. Stacy, we love you. Welcome. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Hello, hello, hello.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

Well, if you don't know this, Stacy is on our staff and she actually wears a lot of hats. Her main hat is an executive leadership coach, and she's one of our ladies that helps run our cohort community every month. She also really plays a big role in our military groups, our online meetups, and she does an amazing job with our membership. And so welcome. We're so glad you're here.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Great, excited.

SPEAKER_04 1:09

Well, I want to start by um, because I'm not sure that I've ever really asked you this or that I know this part of your story. But how did you end it up? Like you've been here for a while. Yes. So it's okay to say it was most old school. Back in the day. Back in the day. Back in the day.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Back in the day, 23 years ago. Okay. Back in the day. Uh tell us about that. I was brand new mom. I had worked right up until the day I went, like I went and did like pretty much a full day's work and then came home and went to live.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

That doesn't surprise me, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Yeah. Um, like, oh, not feel so good. And um, maybe I should go home a little early. Uh and uh yeah, and then all of a sudden, you know, typical story, right? Big, huge transition in in every way in your life. I'm at home, I'm wearing like no pants that have snaps, like everything is sweatpants. I'm like, oh, it's bad. And I was just at home, I was overwhelmed, you know, like every new mom with their first child is, and just kind of lived in overwhelmed for a while. And when I we finally got out and started going back to church and doing some of the things, getting back into our routine. And I remember this kind old lady at our church. Look, she was probably at the time, because it was like I was like 40, 46. Yeah, she was probably 40. I'm like, she's ancient. Uh she's she was like, You need to get out of the house more. I I wish I had wish I could see like what I was wearing that day. It must have been, I like to think I was put together, but there must have been something about the aura that I was giving off that day that she was like, ooh, you need to get out of the house more. Yeah. And you need to come to, of course, at the time we were mops still, you need to come to the mops group that we have here at the church. And so I was like, uh, I don't know. Right. To be honest, like, you know, it was not love at first date, you know. I because like many women, I was like, I don't know, a room full of women, moms, like, you know, like, do I want to sit and talk about diapers and like is that what is this? What is this thing? Are we just gonna be talking about boring mom stuff? And I went and it was like a slow burn, you know. Like I kind of got there and I was like, okay, okay, we're talking about some stuff. This is great. Um, but you know, it over time I was like, okay, and I just kept going. Like I tell people, like, I just kept going because I needed somewhere to go to get out of the house. And then something very interesting happened. I'd like to think, I mean, look, 23 years I've been with the Mom Co. So clearly this is like part of God's plan that this organization would be a key part of my life.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

But from very early on, you know, outside forces were trying to trying to derail me because no joke, at my only my third or fourth meeting where I was still like, I don't know, take it or leave it. No joke, my wallet got stolen during a Momco meeting by the woman sitting next to me. Okay, you can't make this up. Okay. I got home, I can't find it. I go back to I assume I've dropped it under the table. Stay sad. And I know, right? This is hilarious, but also groony, hilarious. So I the leaders were still in there, of course, vacuuming, because that's what leaders do 30 minutes after a meeting's over. Although exactly. And we were still doing crafts, like crafts every time, right? So there was probably glitter and who knows what else, right? And I'm like, oh, they're like, oh, can we help you? I'm like, oh, it's funny. I think I dropped my wallet in here. And long story short, these two leaders looked at each other and they knew exactly what had happened. And my we had a woman in the group and she had a lot going on, and it was definitely like a sad situation. But what's you know, what the reason it's an incredible story is these two leaders, they said, Go home, we'll get right back to you. Like, we we've got this. And they drove to this person's house and they confronted her, but with love. You know, they said, We know you have these things, because it ends up mine wasn't the only thing that was taken that day. And they um they she she denied it, and they're like, Well, we're just gonna sit here for a while then and talk to you. And it took like two hours of making her it took like talking to her loving, but they did it in such a gentle and kind way. And uh fast forward several hours later, I get my wallet back. And when they told me what they how what had happened, I was amazed. Like I'd never seen- I was gonna say that it's great leadership right there. It was so brave because it's like you you went to her house and then you like confronted her, but not like in an aggressive, like angry way, but like, hey, we know this happened and we're gonna come in and we're not gonna let you off the hook, but we're gonna do it gently and lovingly, and there were consequences and all that kind of stuff. But it was the most brave, like real-world peer leadership thing I'd ever seen in my whole life. Yeah. And I was it was amazing, and I was floored. So a couple months later, when they asked me to be a substitute table leader because my table leader had, you know, something had happened. I was like, well my gosh, I have to say yes because they know what they just did, you know. I want to be a part of that. I want to be a part of that, and also I feel obligated to say to say yes. Yeah. But it was it was really when I got plugged into like owning, like when I was a table leader and I was like, okay, I own how this experience goes at this table, and I want everyone to feel heard and have a chance to share. Like, then it I it really was like, oh, I like this. Like this is I think this is something that I'm gonna keep doing. And as a military family, we've we've moved around a bunch of times. So I think for 10 years, I was a local leader in different in seven different groups all over the country. Every time we moved, I got plugged in and I did all the different roles on the different teams, but uh before I joined the volunteer team and then eventually came on staff, but that's where it started, like a complete derailment. And so what I always tell leaders is if you think your meetings go sideways, that that's the end of the story. Right. Because let me tell you, like, if I told you, yeah, so uh someone's gonna come in and steal a whole bunch of wallets and cell phones in your meeting, how do you think that's gonna play? And they would assume, like, oh, that's a game over. No, yeah. And I'm like, that's closed. Your group is closed, close the door, give up, right? And I'm like, let me tell you, that's how I started. That's the like, and that's because of the leaders, because of their response to a bad situation. And that's that's the power of leadership, right? Like, you can take it's great, the craziest worst scenario, and it's it's not about what has happened, it's about your reaction to it. And those, those women, their bravery and that thing, it changed my life from that, from that moment on. It really did.

SPEAKER_04 8:10

Yeah. You know, I was invited on a day that sounds like you. I think I looked really pitiful, like bad. My oldest son was in preschool. My second son was an infant. He was crying. I was trying to feed him in the car as I'm waiting for, you know, some I'm nursing in the car. And then I don't even think I had my flap up on my flop. I'm just like going in and he threw up down my back. And I was like, oh, okay. And then my son had a bad day at school and he was crying. So I've got the car seat on my arm, my toddler on my leg, and I'm literally like limping, dragging my leg to try and get to my car. And the sweet mom, she turns around. I know I look so bad.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

This girl needs some help. Yeah, she said, she has lived serious.

SPEAKER_04 9:01

Lesser professional. I I did. And so she turns around, she said, Do you like to come to my mop's group? And I was like, What does that mean? Like, what is that?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

What is it?

SPEAKER_04 9:13

She said, Well, it's a it's um for moms, and you can take your kids to child care. And at that very second, I was like, Yeah, you had to get childcare. And I had just moved to Denver, so like I really didn't know one person here. And when she said you can take your kids to child care, and she said, and there's hot coffee. I didn't even drink coffee, but I was like, Okay, I'll take it. I might even try that too.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

I'll try I'll try anything at this point because the things aren't working.

SPEAKER_04 9:40

Yeah, because obviously by my looks, right? Yeah, I might need to have some community try something new. So I went and kind of like you, I was like, Oh, okay, I'm gonna just give it a try. But you know, yeah. And the first day was really sweet, but I was also like, I don't know, do I want to go back? But then I went back, and this mentor mom, when we got to the door, she knew my name. She knew my kid's name. She said, Hey, let's get you down to the nursery. So and she said, Sherry, I'm so glad you're here. She didn't look, I didn't have a name tag, nothing. Well, my table leader, kind of a similar story. She had a son that got very ill. And so she wasn't able to like lead the table. And there was a mentor mom there, and the person who they had asked was kind of flighty, in and out, in and out. And so I I'm somewhat of an extrovert. And so I just started like almost like leading the questions because nobody else really was doing that.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

But I really liked it. And after probably like the third meeting, the mentor mom was like, Hey, would you ever consider being a table leader for next year? Because I've been watching you like you're a natural, I think this would be so great. And I was like, Oh gosh, like I mean, I'm just kind of starting here. Like, I don't know. It's like, what does that mean? What's a table leader? But I felt like she was on to something. And then what did it for me is I watched this leadership team take care of the girl who was supposed to be my table leader, right? Making meals. They invited us into that. Um, this this little boy almost died. He was at the hospital. She had other kids. People were praying for her, they were taking her meals, they were cleaning her house, they were doing things that I had never like seen, like this above and beyond care for someone. And the next thing you know, I'm making dinner for someone that I've met twice. And then I'm being asked to lead this group. And it was the leadership team that I had, not in such a dramatic fashion, like my wallet stayed in my in your bag. But it was this like, wow, these people really care. And if they're gonna care for a stranger when they get to know you, just think how beautiful that is. And I really felt like this was being a mom was hard because same, I had worked um up until I had our second son, and I just was lonely, and I was also like overwhelmed by the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:22

And they took that overwhelmingness, and I think I turned that energy into something it was really great. So for me, I wanted us both to share like how this whole thing, you know, and so my um number two son is 31. So I've been a part of this gig for a long time and on staff for almost 10 years, and it's just been a part of my everyday life since then. Yeah. I'm so very grateful. And um, now we get to take this um around the world, and it's just amazing. But for me, it's I always tell people it's the power of an invitation. We both were invited to something. Someone took a chance and reached out, whether it was because we both were pitiful at the time. But but it worked. They invited us. And the brave thing isn't necessarily the invitation, but saying yes to it. And that leads me into something that you did really special for us this year. We asked you to create a curriculum video for us. And um, it's talking about the front porch. And I love this power of an invitation, but that leads to the opportunity to be at the front porch. So I want you to just like kick us off by like, what do you even mean by that? What is the front porch? Um, but I also want to iterate that we partnership, it's part of even our um our mission statement, we in partnership with the local church. So we believe wholeheartedly in what the local church is doing. Okay. But Momco is an outreach ministry. So I want you to explain to our audience like, what are you talking about when you say front porch?

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Sure. Well, for those of you who may not be familiar with kind of what does it mean to be an outreach ministry? It means literally we are trying to reach outside of the people who already attend our church. And um, and that's tricky, it's really hard. And the way you bring people who are not already into the church or into or in a relationship with Jesus is by providing something they need, right? Like, because if the average person wanted more Jesus or wanted more sermons in their life, they'd already be in church, right? So it's it's not a lack of knowledge of like, I just don't know about it. It's most people who don't attend church or don't uh who would say they're not interested in things of faith, it's because they still don't see the relevance of it. So in an outreach ministry, you're saying, listen, you you have this need. Now we also believe, as you know, as Christians, we believe everybody has a need to know Jesus, right? That there's that that's how we are designed to live and be in community with others and with God Himself. But to the person who does not yet have a relationship with Jesus, you know, that's right, that's not important to them. They're not even thinking about that. They're thinking about the other needs they have. And the number one need of a mom is for friends. You know, the stats, everybody knows the stats. Uh, we're lonely. We're lonely uh because it's just easier to stay home. And honestly, you know, you and I have been around a long time. It is 10 times worse today than it was when we were first invited. You know, um, I didn't have streaming, I didn't have, you know, I mean, all the things that just like I didn't have DoorDash, I didn't have Amazon.

SPEAKER_04 15:43

Now it's it's easier to stay.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

It's so easy to stay home. And I get it, especially as a new mom. You're like, I don't want to put on pants, I don't want to do my hair. I look homeless. You know, I don't want to have to. And you don't have to. So I'll just stay at home. I'll order these things. Life will come to me. Yeah, but the one thing we can't order online is friends and community. And so then we wonder why we're yeah, why we're so lonely, you know. Uh, so we got all the things we need, but except the one thing that we really absolutely absolutely need in order to function, and that's friends. And so, for the purposes of of outreach for the mom co, what we're saying is you get out into the community where all the moms are, and you say, if you're looking for friends, which I know you are because I am too, this is where you can find it. And the key to the being the front porch is that it's as we talk about in the video, it's attached to something, right? A porch is never just like out there on its own, it's always attached to something. Or in this case, you know, the front porch of the church. But the porch is not the church. You know, what happens inside the church is designed to develop and deepen a relationship with Jesus to those who already know him. And that's great. That's discipleship. You know, that is absolutely important. Every person who is in a relationship with Jesus and the Christian community, you should absolutely be plugged in there. But for huge swaths of the of the of the community that you live in, they don't want to go inside.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

Right. Not at least not yet.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

It's scary. Or they've been burned by the church in the past, you know. Um, and again, it's not lack of knowledge about the church that's keeping us out. It's not like they've never seen that building before or don't know when the service times are.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

They just don't want to go. They don't see the relevance, not looking for that in their life. So we say, moms, come over to the come to the front porch. The front porch is connected to the church, but it is not the church. However, we are going to have the same uh biblical perspective that you would find inside the church, right? So all of our videos, all of our speakers, everything we put out as an organization, unapologetically, biblically based, absolutely. 100%. It's not, we are not here to uh convert you. We are not here to uh uh convince you of something. We are literally here to be your friend and uh enjoy time together and honestly do what the Bible tells us to do, which is if we are believers, live a life that reflects the love of Jesus that we have. And in just doing that, we will affect those around us. You know, I mean it's it's kind of like the model of the early church we see in the New Testament, which is like it was dangerous to go wandering around and saying you followed this guy named Jesus, you know. So what did they do? They met together, they prayed together, they met each other's tangible needs, and uh and the church grew not because people were out there, you know, standing on street corners screaming about the Bible, but because people saw how they interacted with each other.

SPEAKER_04 18:59

And they were inviting.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

And they were inviting them in. That's right. And so people saw how they were interacting, they were curious. You're acting different than what we see around every every around everywhere else. What's good? Why is that? Well, come on and check it out, you know, come with me. And that's that's our model, right? So we're not trying to invite them first step into a Bible study because that's not what they're looking for. That's like taking some, you know, trying to put a kindergartner into 12th grade math. Like they're not there yet, you know, they may be eventually, but they're not there yet. Right now, they're just looking for friends. So we're gonna bring them onto the front porch, a space that is warm, it is welcoming, there are no expectations. You can, you know, bring your baggage, bring your messy life, uh, bring your questions. Um, and and for those of us on the porch who claim to love Jesus, well, now it's game time, right? Because um they're watching, right? And this is lifestyle evangelism. This is living out your faith in your everyday life. If we do that well, people are curious. It's you live a life that is different than what everybody sees, and they will ask questions. And when you do invite them in or ask them about their own life, they are open to having that conversation and considering other things because we first love them like Jesus did without you know, without fine print.

SPEAKER_04 20:32

We modeled that for yeah, that's right. Before I was on staff at Momco, I was on staff at a church in Denver, which I just love. It's still my home church, and I was one of the women's ministry directors. And one of the ladies who um had been a long time Bible study teacher, and I just loved her. She was amazing, uh, but she never really came to Momco. So she really didn't know about it. And so one day I had this amazing meeting where um we had a speaker come and it was just a beautiful, beautiful meeting. And at the end, she said, I'm a believer in Jesus. And if you don't know him and you want to learn more about this, come up and talk to me afterwards. Right. It wasn't typically how things would go with a speaker, but she just felt like she should say that. I mean, the Holy Spirit, right? Two two ladies come up to her. Next thing I know, she's motioning for me to come up. We stayed afterwards for like an hour, and both of these girls pray to receive Christ. It was such an amazing morning. So I get ready to go upstairs. I'm so excited to tell everybody what had just happened. And uh there was a group of ladies talking, led by this other lady. Um, and she said, Oh, we're so glad you're here. We're just talking about how we can make Momco more spiritual. Yes. And I had to count to 10, maybe 100, before I was like, well, let me just tell you what happened this morning. But these girls, if we would have started there, and this was towards the end of the year, if we would have started there and said, hey, everybody, pull out your Bibles. We're gonna start in in Luke chapter two. That would so freak people out. They don't even own a Bible.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

Right.

SPEAKER_04 22:31

Um, they wouldn't know what that meant or why we were doing that. And I don't know if they would come back. They might, but we never start there. We'd we'd say, Hey, you want coffee? We have child care. You want to have a conversation? You need some friends. Here's an opportunity to connect. And by doing that in September, by the time this lady was speaking in May, their heart was open to that because they sat at this most wonderful table with a leader and a mentor mom who modeled that so beautifully. So when someone said, Hey, would you like to hear more about this? their hearts were open to that because they had lived that for the last year with these people in community. So we had to have a little chat about that and what it is and what it isn't. Right. And so this front porch idea to me is so beautiful because it explains what it is and what it isn't. So you want to give us a few more like parameters or details?

SPEAKER_01 23:32

Sure. So we definitely want to make sure that the front porch doesn't start to feel too much like the inside of the house. And this is this is a very easy kind of slide that we can get into if you yourself and your leadership team have are the kind of people who have grown up in the church and are comfortable with the church. And we hear we do hear that a lot, right? We like, how do I make my group more spiritual? And what they usually mean is like, you know, they start by it, it starts to slowly look more like what I would call a Christian women's support club, yeah, where there's an assumption of faith in the room, right? And so I think on the porch, there should be no assumption of faith. And honestly, even in today's culture in the United States, uh, even if someone says that they are a Christian, that can mean a hundred different things. So even if someone says that to you, I think we should always, from a leadership standpoint, come from a position of no assumption of faith, Bible knowledge or agreement on what we might even consider fundamentals of the faith. And the thing that's important to remember is on the porch, that's okay. Right? Because we're not we're not interviewing them to become elders, right? We're not we're not asking them to lead a women's Bible study and like become Bethmore, right? On the porch, it should be a place where you can invite every neighbor you have. And I don't care if she goes, if she's a Baptist, if she's a Hindu, if she's Mormon, if she's an atheist, an agnostic. I don't care. I want every single one of them to feel equally comfortable and welcome and accept it. And it's it's funny, but sometimes that is controversial, right? And I want to say, listen, you know, again, what we our perspective is always going to be living biblically, right? That's everything we're putting forward. But here's what I know like Jesus wasn't tossing tables when he met new people in every village he went into, right? Like he's like, we need to be like his approach at the woman at the well, at the woman who's bleeding, at the woman who's, you know, she's been she's about to get stoned, which I think is how a lot of women feel by the American Christian church right now, you know, is like I'm I I don't know what if I if I if I agree with what's happening here because there's been such a bleed over in in what these words mean anymore in politics and I mean everything so messy right now, you know, and so we can be a really unique space where we say we can have differences of opinions on all these things. And let's create a space where we we don't you don't have to come like with your armor on and like ready for a fight because I like I feel like I even go online and I'm ready for a fight because everybody's fighting. Yeah, put your swords down. But yes, it's like we're gonna come back. Under your coffee cup. That's right. We're gonna stay under the um unifying umbrella of we are all moms. And so I don't care on the porch what your religious background is, what your socioeconomic status is, what race or ethnicity you are. I don't care any of your background, any whatever. Here we are all friends, and we're gonna talk about life and we're gonna do life together for nine months. And our leaders, because we are Christians, the answers we give, the stories we tell about how we make decisions and how we parent and our marriages, well, they're going to, I hope, reflect Jesus. Right. And if they reflect Jesus, they're probably going to feel very countercultural to what you know, everything else we're feeling in the world. And this, you know, I think to some people is like, well, we talk about this in the video. It's like Christian light. And I actually say I think it's the opposite. Because in today's world, we want everything to be fast and like we want to outsource it. So we're like, well, we can speed up this process if we talk about Jesus more from the speak the microphone, right? Or if we make the devotions more pointed about, you know, a little more altar call, a little less compassion, right? Um, if we like, and what I say is like you can't outsource your story. And what we are called to do as leaders, and I believe as Christians, especially more so in today's world, where we're just bombarded by so much like secondhand information that you don't even know if you can trust.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Tell me your story. Like when you tell me how Jesus affects your life, it takes this dusty historical book that I don't think has any relevance to me, and all of a sudden brings it into 2026, right? Like, and now I'm interested because I thought that guy was just a historical figure and I could care less. But now you're telling me he has an effect on your life, and now I'm interested, right? And right and again, like and and from in anybody. And again, they can accept what you say, they can take it or leave it. It doesn't matter because it's your story, right? And that's the trick with leadership. It's like that's where you have to be a mature leader because you have to be a mature follower of Jesus to be able to talk about your faith and how it affects your everyday life. And often when we're talking to leaders, we say, what develops you as a leader? What what the how God uses leadership most often is because as a leader, you got to put your money where your mouth is, and you are forced to ask yourself, is my relationship with Jesus actually affecting my everyday life?

SPEAKER_04 29:09

That's right. And when you share your story, you get so many opportunities. And what I love about leadership, especially within the momco context, yeah, is that you can share very simply, you can share really deeply. Yeah, but if you're constantly pointing people back to what is different about you, or if they're like, gosh, that's really hard. How are you getting through that?

SPEAKER_01 29:35

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 29:35

And your faith can then all of a sudden be the center of the story. And no one gets to say to you, uh-uh, that's not true. That's right. It's your story. That's right. And so um, I just love when we encourage our leaders to share their faith through their story in simple ways. And like you said, what that's doing, it's these building blocks of relationship. And especially for someone who doesn't know who Jesus is or might sort of think they do, but not sure if they want to be a part of that, right? You're giving them a compelling reason and your authentic authenticity wins every time.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

That's right. And we need to remind leaders often that if you grew up in the church, uh your faith maybe doesn't feel like a sensitive topic. But for people who didn't grow up in the church or they've been burned by the church, or you can't, it's like talking about sex and politics. You can't just jump into it, right? So you don't meet someone and go like, oh, I met you five minutes, so great. Do you go to church? Do you know you don't love Jesus? Like you can't, you it is, you have to build to that because it is a sensitive topic for people now more than ever. Because what do you, you know, why are you asking me this? What is this? What what do you mean by that word? What do I mean by that word? And so it's the front porch, that's why the front porch has to be, it takes a leadership team to fight to keep it the front porch. Because if you try to speed up the process, if it uh if it starts to look too much like the sanctuary or sound or feel too much like the sanctuary, you you are forgetting that for most people who who this is new, it they need to feel comfortable and you have to prove that you are trustworthy before they will ever talk about sensitive topics. And that includes topics of faith.

SPEAKER_04 31:30

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

You know, just like you wouldn't ask them to talk about their finances in the first meeting, you know. Right. Um, like and it's the same category. So it in in order to stay that place, like you have to fight for it because it will either go too shallow, and we don't want to go shallow. We want to have deep, meaningful conversations, but it always has to be very open-handed. Like somebody can say something that you completely disagree with, and that's okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

Like, you know, I loved your point of just saying this isn't light when people criticize, like, but you're not, you know, presenting the Bible or you're not studying. Right. Well, a good church program has women's Bible study. And if you are coming to Momco and they're coming into a church, people aren't going to be surprised if you invite them to something that happens at the church. That's right. I always laugh about that. I'm like, you can invite them. They they can always say no, but you can invite them. So we always made sure, like, oh, hey, we have our Easter service coming up. We would love if you come. Hey, bring your kids to this thing that we're doing over here. Oh gosh, we'd love to have you come to the chili cook-off. Do you make chili? You can bring that. Right. So they start to see that this whole Christian world isn't something that's so weird that they need to run and be scared of. But there's these opportunities for community that happen to center. So we don't want you to be light, but getting deep takes time.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

Yeah. And you can, like in the when we see the ideal setup in a church, it's full of these symbiotic relationships, right? That the the you've that a healthy church, like you said, is gonna have a women's Bible study. It's gonna have a couples ministry, it's gonna have, it's gonna have things that are discipleship ministries. Those are ministries designed to go deep, study the scripture, be fully studying how to live this Christian life in a deep way for people who would say they are already in a relationship with Jesus. Those are amazing. You want every single one of your leaders to be plugged in with those. Yes. But what we want, you know, the the slot, the the temptation sometimes on the front porch is to go like, well, I want more depth for me. So I want the porch to give me the depth there. And we say, like, no, no, like that's that's what you have to fight against because you're forgetting that you are already at step seven. And we want the porch to be comfortable for people on step one.

SPEAKER_04 33:56

So if you or who are even at a negative, I mean, I think so many of these girls come in honestly, Stacey, at a negative. They have everything their whole process in their life has told them, churches is not for them, or it's negative. And so they come barely wanting to walk up those steps to even get to the porch.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

That's right. And so I would say, you know, we tell our leaders like, listen, you should have a relationship with whoever runs a women's Bible study. Absolutely. And you should be saying to your group, hey, if you if you would like more, if you would like to be a part of a women's Bible study, it meets on Thursday nights. You should go, you know, if you're looking for a children's program for your kids, it's a wanna's, they meet on Sundays, whatever. You should be constantly pointing your members to the other amazing discipleship opportunities within your church. You should not be trying to recreate those on the front porch.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

They are amazing ministries, but they are internal discipleship ministries. They are not outreach. I mean, think of like we talk about in the video that you know, a food pantry is a great example of an outreach ministry. And you wouldn't say, come here to get food, and then you show up and they're like giving you books. You're like, but I came for food, right? Like just because the person running the food pantry wanted a book. Like, that's not how this works. You know, you gotta offer what you are, stay focused on your mission, front porch. This is this is entry level, but also varsity for the leaders and the people because you know, we say our goal is to move everybody in your group one step closer to Jesus. Yes. And imagine a spectrum, right? So, like you said, some people are on the negatives. So just walking into a church building, that's like that's a step towards Jesus. Yes. Other people who have been in a lifetime, you know, mature relationship with Jesus, then it's time to think about leadership, it's time to think about mentorship, it's time to get into that women's Bible study. Like, absolutely. But we're not going to uh make this women's Bible study light because you didn't want to join the real women's Bible study. Like we want you to go get plugged into that. And so when the church sees that we can work symbiotic symbiotically together, yeah, we're in partnership. Oh, it's real, it really starts to really take off. That's where you get you know, mature believers who come back as mentors from that women's Bible study. Yeah, as women want to grow, it takes the pressure off the front porch to try to be something else. We can focus on loving like Jesus on the front porch. And when they're ready for more, we invite them to more without trying to recreate something else on the porch that honestly someone else is doing better. And we want to get them in the house when they're ready. But if they want to hang out for a while, that's okay.

SPEAKER_04 36:40

They can.

unknown 36:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:42

Well, to that point, you said something really powerful in your video, and I wrote it down. So I hope I can see what I wrote because I kind of scratched it down. But it was so good. I want to, I want to read it. You said this in your video. The purpose of the front porch is not to convince, pressure, or drag anyone inside the house. It's a place where you can say, Hey, you want to sit here? You can sit there as long as you like. If you ever want to come inside with me, I'd love that. But if you just want to sit and you want to sit here forever, that's okay too. I just want to be with you as your friend. Stacey, that was so good. And I have a story I want to tell because it is this exact story. Um, years ago, when my um son was little, he was playing on a baseball team, and this new mom came. They just moved here from Canada. And of course, I'm like, hey, you should come to my mom's group with me. And she was like, I don't do religion. And I was like, no problem. So a few weeks go by in the summer, and I'm like, hey, we're friends of mine from this group, we're going to the zoo. Would you like to come? And she was like, I could do the zoo. So she came to the zoo, and I called my friends. I'm like, don't you dare be weird, like, none of this, like we're, you know, this is new. She, I want to get her to come to Momco because I know she needs it. So she's so lonely and she's so homesick. And so they're like, Oh, yeah, absolutely. So she had the best time. So I was like, hey, we're gonna have our momco meeting. It kicks up in the fall. Would love for you to come. Nope, I don't do religion. So she didn't come for until the second semester. Finally, I said, Hey, we're still doing that. If you'd ever like to go, just let me know. I can even pick you up, whatever. So she comes and she loved it. And she was like, Okay, this isn't as weird as I thought it was gonna be, but I don't really feel comfortable inside the church. I was like, that's okay. You want some coffee, you can take your baby to the childcare. She was like, I've never eaten this good. This is so great, this is amazing. And she started to make some friends. Well, what was so crazy about this story, Stacey, is she kept coming for years and years. And at about um year three, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Our whole group just took her under our wing and we loved on her and we brought them food and we took care of them. And she was just like, Oh my goodness, these are my very best friends. This is amazing. But I still don't really do church.

SPEAKER_03 39:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

I was like, okay, no problem. But people were openly saying, I'm praying for you. They were sending her things, they were telling her, like, you know, God's got this. Fast forward two more years. She's healthy, she's doing great. And one morning I'm just giving a devotion um before breakfast, and she came up to me and she's crying, and she said, I'm ready to have Jesus in my life. And I was like, What? I mean, I was just like, right. And so we we prayed, and that morning she prayed to receive Christ. And I just get the goosebumps, just even thinking about it, because later that year, she I come in for Christmas and I'm looking for my family, and I don't see my family, but I see her sitting on the front row, and we stood up to sing worship music, and she's standing there with her kids with her, and she's got her arms lifted and she's praising God. Yeah, from the time I invited her and we went to the zoo, it was actually six years later till that moment. Yeah, so it wasn't this magical moment, it wasn't anything I said at the devotion, it was the fact that I sat on the front porch with her for six years and just loved on her. And we just loved her, and there was no hidden agenda. That's right. We just loved her, we shared with her, and it's one of my favorite stories because we put so much pressure as leaders, and that's why we forget it's a front porch because we're like, we want you to be saved, and we think it's up to you, and it's up to me. And reality is like it's God's timing, and you get to be a really small piece of the story if you're faithful, right? So sitting on that front porch is so so key. And I wanted to share that because it was my personal front porch story that you have to be patient and you just have to be available.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Yeah, we we our job is to make the front porch as wonderful as possible. That's our calling as momco leaders, and it's that simple. And I feel like we it God is like, listen, settle down, stay in your lane, right? Like, quit trying to do the Holy Spirit's work. Your job is to love these women like Jesus. And some days that's really hard, and sometimes it means you're gonna not say things that your human self would want to say, right? Um, and sometimes it's gonna be frustrating and whatever, and sometimes you're gonna be convicted because you realize you're doing the same thing that this person's doing, and maybe you shouldn't be, you know, like um, but you know, like that's your lane. Love like Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 42:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

And that's it.

SPEAKER_04 42:24

So give me some practical ways because I know there's gonna be someone out there that is like, okay, ladies, easy to say, you guys have been doing this for a bazillion years. Right. And you're on leader, you're on leadership and you're on staff. So easy for you to say.

SPEAKER_00 42:38

Right.

SPEAKER_04 42:39

I want to say, no, it's it's not easy to say, and I'm gonna be really honest, it's really not always easy to do. But give us some practical ways that we can think front porch and create that environment for our communities.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

Yes. So then, yeah, let me agree with you that it takes some intentionality. Yeah, because there's not a lot, here's the truth: there's not a lot of front porch spaces in the world today.

SPEAKER_03 43:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

And so you can't just model it after whatever, whatever, or you will become this other thing. So, some practical things we should do. I mean, first always look at your planning and even how your meeting is structured, how you talk about your your group from the perspective of someone who has never heard of you, is not interested in church, if they are bonus, right? Assume that they are even hostile, right, towards real what they would call religion, and uh and see everything through new eyes. And that's gonna mean maybe you do things differently than you have been doing it in the past. But you you've got to do it. The world is constantly changing around us. Our message and mission is unchanged, but we must adapt to the world around us if we're gonna fulfill that mission. So we gotta think, think like someone. How does it feel? Is the door are the doors marked clearly what to come, you know, which door to come in? Uh is there, you know, uh if we're full, do we have an option to do a night? Group or an online group so that we're never turning someone away. Because how would that feel if you got turned away? You know, you finally get brave enough to show up and they turn you away. Um, are we keeping things uh tangible and practical for the mom life? You know, like again, if I wanted more sermons, I'd already be in church on Sunday. So let's make sure that the topics that we're talking about always have a practical application to the mom life right now. Doesn't mean you don't, you know, because we can take any topic and we can go deep, right? I mean, you can um and that so that's the that's where you have to think a little bit deeper, right? Like, and we give you great videos that you can use. You don't have to have live speakers, but uh you'll go deep in the conversations. You want things to go deeper, but you always want it to be practical because that's what that mom's looking for, you know. Like, so you can be talking about uh true, you know, your choices for what kind of school you put your kid in, but the deeper conversation is where do I place my trust? You know, and um and how do I communicate, you know, with my husband and uh what do I think about these, you know, like any topic has a faith element to it. Again, if we're talking about our our faith, it comes through in every facet of our lives. So, but moms, again, we don't want to bait and switch them, right? So you don't say, oh, come and make friends, and then they get there and we're in like a mini sermon series, you know, like uh so we need to make sure that there is that the the core of every meeting is conversation, time around that table, because that's where relationships are built. Everything is built on relationships. And like we said, you you will never get to any kind of sensitive conversation on any topic, but certainly not of faith, if we don't first have this foundation of relationships. I trust you because we've had six conversations where I shared, you know, breastfeeding versus bottle filling, cloth diapers versus regular diapers, school, you know, private school versus public school. And we were able to have conversations, and you didn't judge me, there was no shame. Uh I you heard my perspective. We had a great, interesting conversation that was different than what I would have with the playground. And that foundation is built, built, built, built. So we get into deeper conversations of more sensitive topics as the year goes on. But always thinking, how would this, how does this feel? And if you're not sure, because honestly, sometimes when you grow up in the church, you're like, okay, everybody hold hands, we're gonna pray. I'm like, I'm always like, oh, don't do that, don't do that. Because they're like, Yeah, you're like, what? Like, like think to yourself, if you didn't attend church, when was the last time you held hands with a stranger? Right? Right. Like, it's weird if you're not didn't grow up in that. Or, you know, I was in a group once and all of a sudden they were talking about the blood of the lamb. And I was like, what are we doing? You know, like I know what you mean, but if you don't grow up in church, like uh weird, right? Concerning, like, let's just not talk about blood if we can avoid that. Like, you know, so um, you know, just taking a moment to like think you can get them there eventually, but that is not where you start.

SPEAKER_03 47:20

Or someone else will, right? When they get plugged into at women's Bible settings.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

Exactly. Um, but let's always be thinking, how does this topic and is it relevant to mom life right now and every mom in this room? And then we will get into specifics and deeper in the conversation, you know, but always time to mingle and meet people, but that conversation being the the heart of it and constantly reevaluating, just you know, because things just you after you about do it about two or three times, it's probably trying to do something new. Because if you don't, you know, you we accidentally start piling things up on the stairs, and then we wonder why people aren't coming up on the porch.

SPEAKER_04 48:03

And I would add one thing that has really bit me several times is vetting your speakers that come and letting them know ahead of time, sort of the expectation that there's people in this group that this whole Jesus thing is maybe like they don't know anything about it, or that they're very leery about it, or that this is something that um because one time I had a lady come, a marriage couple come, and then they started washing feet, each other's feet. And I could see the girls that I knew now to people who've been in the church for long, we understand the beauty and the symbolism of that.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

But if you've never heard of that, you're like, I can see people looking at me like, right, what is going on? This is creeping me out, right?

SPEAKER_04 48:55

Yeah, and they were over like 20 minutes, and I was like, Oh dear Lord, please help us. Like, how am I gonna do this? That's right. So be careful when you're also vetting speakers, letting them know like these are the parameters. We want people to feel comfortable. We also we want you to share your story, and Jesus is a part of your story. So I'm not asking you not to do that. Yeah, I'm saying they can learn so much from you when you say, and because of my faith in Jesus, this is why I was able to get through this time, or this is why I believe this, or this is why I'm so passionate about this. Those are beautiful. We want those stories because that just keeps increasing people's like awareness and um even the possibility of faith when people share that. But we want to make sure that we talk to them so that it doesn't go into this is not a mature audience that would even understand what that means. So that's the only thing that I, from my experience, would add.

SPEAKER_01 49:54

Yeah, I mean, and it, you know, we we encourage, of course, all coordinators and assistant coordinators and all leaders to come to the trainings that we offer because we're constantly, this is a theme that we talk about constantly. I mean, you can we could go on and on for hours, everything from the signage you put out front, uh, you know, uh, do people even know where to park? Yeah, you know, the do you have to sign 800 pieces of paper before you can get your kid in the childcare? These are all like the barriers that we don't think about, but can definitely hinder uh a new person from coming or being being comfortable on the porch. Um, and does every leader on your team understand that their biggest role, more than starting the coffee, more than you know, not trying to get through three discussion questions before the 40 minutes is up. It's about sharing your story, not someone else's story, not oh, you listened to this podcast or you read this book and I heard this thing. Again, you can't outsource it. You were you're here to talk about yourself and share your story. And uh and the faith will come and the faith conversations will come as you share your story and you prove that your what you're saying is true. That's okay, and that you care about them. And um, but it does take intent, it will not happen without intentionality.

SPEAKER_03 51:14

Right.

SPEAKER_01 51:15

And how we organize our actual times when we're together, like official meetings, but even socially. And I, you know, I hate my my biggest pet peeve are uh the groups that are like, okay, like we're full, hooray. And and they it's like like we did it, we you know, and it's like, oh, you know, actually, that's just now the beginning of the story. Like it's great that you're full, but again, thinking about the front porch is never full. You're always looking for ways to get more people on the porch, like more, more, and more, right? And so it's like if you have to build a second porch, we gotta add a little addition, right? Um, we have a virtual porch that you can around. Yeah, we gotta have a front porch. That's right. Double decker porch. Like, um, because I mean, I always say, like, remember what it was like when you were lonely. We, I think every mom has that moment where like you're just desperate, absolutely desperate. And um, and imagine you show up and they tell you, sorry, we're full. You know, and always, always be looking. Like, we have to go out and seek these moms too. That's also a big part of being front porchy, is like you can't build a porch and then be surprised when nobody shows up on it if you don't actually tell anybody about it. And you can you can't just advertise with a table in the church lobby on Sunday mornings because as I tell people, they're already in the church. If you like, you know, and again, you want people who are mature believers to be a part of your group. Those are your leaders, those are your mentors, those are important people to have. Absolutely. But we are an outreach ministry, so you got to get the word out past the church parking lot. So, how do you do that? Again, are you losing language? Like, you wouldn't say, come join our group so we can fellowship together under the blood of the lamb and the banner of Christ, right? Like, you know, we know what that means. But everyone else is like, what is it? Some kind of code? You're like, no, you want friends? Come find you'll find them here. And we need to be prepared when they show up, like to accept them as they are. They're not, like you said, they're not a project. They're just you're just loving on them. You're keeping it practical, you're keeping it tangible topics of relevance to mom life, and we are sharing our own story in in every single one of those topics. How does our faith affect any facet of our life? And that's all we got to do. Like that's it's really, you know, it's not easy, but it is simple. Our job is simple. Um, and we when we start making it more complicated than it needs to be, is when we start getting ourselves in trouble.

SPEAKER_04 53:50

This was so good. Thank you for your conversation today. And for those of you who are listening, and especially if you are a mom co-leader, um, we would just love for you to um create front porches this year where more and more people can come and find community and ultimately at the end, they can take that one step closer to Jesus, no matter where they are. But create the environment so that they feel welcome on your front porch. And you know what, friend? I'm so glad that someone both thought we were pitiful enough to invite us. It's very bad. Um, but you know what? It's been such a life changer for me. I have my very best friends from, we're still friends all these years later. Um, I get to work with people like you. I mean, it's just we get to be with people in amazing settings around the world. And we love the Mom Co. And we love you as leaders, and we're so happy that you joined us today. So thank you so much, Stacy, for your wisdom, for your genuine, your authentic way in which you create the front porch because you're so, so good at it. And leaders, I want you to make sure that you watch this video that she did for us this year, the front porch. It is amazing. So thanks so much, and uh thanks for listening.

SPEAKER_02 55:08

Leaders, we know that your time is valuable. We're proud of you for investing in yourself by listening in today. We know that when you invest in mom, you change the world. We believe in you and we're doing it.