Not Weird Just Autistic

Surviving Family Holiday Gatherings with Rob Gorski, A.K.A. The Autism Dad

December 05, 2019 J.R. Reed & Shannon Hughes Season 1 Episode 7
Not Weird Just Autistic
Surviving Family Holiday Gatherings with Rob Gorski, A.K.A. The Autism Dad
Chapters
Not Weird Just Autistic
Surviving Family Holiday Gatherings with Rob Gorski, A.K.A. The Autism Dad
Dec 05, 2019 Season 1 Episode 7
J.R. Reed & Shannon Hughes

Join Shannon and J.R. as they sit down with one of the biggest names in autism blogging and social media, Rob Gorski, A.K.A. The Autism Dad.

Rob has three sons who are on the spectrum so he knows a thing or two about how to manage and survive holiday gatherings with his family.

Rob drops a lot of knowledge on the listeners during the show, such as:


"So I have kind of a different perspective of things I guess. But it's like a, it's like a bank account, right?

Like if you have $100 in your account and it's going to cost $100 to go to this party when you come out of that, you have nothing.

And so, you know, a lot of times what happens is, you know, my kids have resources built up that they can cope with the things that kind of happen in daily life. But if I ask too much of them, where I put them in a situation where they have to cope more than what they normally would, they chew through those resources and then they're left at a deficit." 


What are you waiting for?  Listen to the whole podcast now!


You can find Rob furiously blogging at The Autism Dad
Twitter: @theautismdad
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theautismdad/
Podcast: https://www.theautismdad.com/podcast/

Check out the links below to find your favorite podcast service and subscribe so you don’t miss a single episode of the Not Weird Just Autistic Podcast!

Show Notes Transcript

Join Shannon and J.R. as they sit down with one of the biggest names in autism blogging and social media, Rob Gorski, A.K.A. The Autism Dad.

Rob has three sons who are on the spectrum so he knows a thing or two about how to manage and survive holiday gatherings with his family.

Rob drops a lot of knowledge on the listeners during the show, such as:


"So I have kind of a different perspective of things I guess. But it's like a, it's like a bank account, right?

Like if you have $100 in your account and it's going to cost $100 to go to this party when you come out of that, you have nothing.

And so, you know, a lot of times what happens is, you know, my kids have resources built up that they can cope with the things that kind of happen in daily life. But if I ask too much of them, where I put them in a situation where they have to cope more than what they normally would, they chew through those resources and then they're left at a deficit." 


What are you waiting for?  Listen to the whole podcast now!


You can find Rob furiously blogging at The Autism Dad
Twitter: @theautismdad
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theautismdad/
Podcast: https://www.theautismdad.com/podcast/

Check out the links below to find your favorite podcast service and subscribe so you don’t miss a single episode of the Not Weird Just Autistic Podcast!

Speaker 1:

They both grew up as the weird kids undiagnosed and off the spectrum. Now they're adults diagnosed with Asperger's, attempting to live real lives among regular humans. As kids. They were weird and not autistic. Now they're not weird. Just autistic. Join Shannon and jr as they make their way through life, bringing you tips, tricks, and other ideas to get you through your day. Stay tuned for the not weird, just autistic podcast.

Speaker 2:

All right, welcome to our first December holiday podcast. We're talking with Rob Gorski, AKA the autism dad. And, uh, let's first say hi to our coho Shannon

Speaker 3:

[inaudible]

Speaker 2:

and let's say hi to Rob Gorsky, the autism dad. I'm going to let Rob say hi and, and, uh, talk a little bit about himself for a minute before we get into it.

Speaker 3:

Uh, hi everyone. Um, I, I'm Rob Gorski and I'm the dad to, uh, three kids on the autism spectrum. Uh, I've been writing at the autism dad blog for red 11, 11 years now. And, uh, I try to use the experience that I have, I guess survived or lived through to, to kind of help light the way for the people who are coming behind me, I guess. Um, help parents to feel like they're not alone. Help to educate the public about what you know, families like mine could be dealing with. Cause everybody's different. But, uh, insight I think is really important. And so I try to bridge some of those gaps, make something positive, come out of the challenges that we're dealing with every day. So.

Speaker 2:

All right, well, Hey, off the air, we were talking a little bit about your, about page, but I just want to say that any about page that has disclaimers and you know, is going to be simply awesome. So kudos to you for having the disclaimers on your webpage. Rob, I even have disclaimers. You got two disclaimers.

Speaker 3:

Wow. I, I, you know, I was looking through this. I have, I've written 12,000 over 12,000 posts in 10 years and I, I ha, I, I need to go through and clean some of this stuff. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I'm looking at my kids' ages. My oldest is now, he'll be 20 in January. Uh, my middle child is 13, so this is at least three years old. I haven't even looked at this in three years. I'm glad you pointed that out cause I'll have to fix that.

Speaker 2:

All right. Why you live autism awareness on a daily basis? Kind of give us, give us a brief overview of what that's like for you.

Speaker 3:

Uh, you mean just like [inaudible]

Speaker 2:

daily life? Well, yeah, I mean, you know, and, and helping people and, and, and how you help people.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, sure. Um, what I, what I try, what I try to do is, is share, um,

Speaker 4:

kind of,

Speaker 3:

well, my blog was originally designed to be sort of a, it was like a personal journal that I didn't realize was public at first. And, and the idea was, and when I was struggling with something or being, you know, frustrated whatever, I could vent here and to walk away from it, I didn't know people were going to read it because I didn't understand what that was like 10 years ago. Um, but it's what it w what it's become is I still do that, but I F but I found that, uh, people find comfort in that because, you know, a lot of, a lot of parents like myself will find, uh, themselves isolated, um, you know, maybe feeling like they're the only ones that are going through something or feeling a certain way about whatever. And when they, when they read what someone else is going through and they can relate, there's, there's some comfort in that. And, and, um, so that's the, that's the main purpose of what I'm doing. Uh, and then there's to try and raise awareness is as best I can to, to try and help people,

Speaker 4:

uh,

Speaker 3:

I guess better understand what autism is like for one thing, how it can impact, um, a person and, and how that impacts a family and everybody's different but, but it just sort of helps connect kind of a face with a name kind of thing. And, you know, it's been a, it's been a largely positive experience. Um, I mean, there's always a downside every now and again. But, um, the biggest challenge is just trying to balance privacy. Cause when my kids were little, they didn't care what I would share, whatever. But now as they're older, I have to be more cognizant of that because they, you know, they're, they're of age where, where they could be embarrassed about things. And so, you know, I try and write only about things that, uh, that they're okay with I guess. And so it's, it's more of a delicate balance.

Speaker 3:

So I, I focus more on what I'm dealing with and how I'm reacting to things and stuff and, and relate my kids in where it's appropriate and, and talk about their daily stuff. But there's, it is, it is a little more, it's a little more tricky, uh, is as the kids get older, I guess. I don't know if that answers your question or not. Okay. So how have your minds been turned upside down on a daily basis because your kid's diagnosis? Uh, I don't, I don't know. It's been turned upside down, but it, it's, it's, it's challenging in the sense that, I mean, a diagnosis doesn't matter one way or the other. It's, it's the, the challenges that they face. You know, sensory issues are a huge problem in my house and a lot of them tend to revolve around like food and clothing. Uh, so, so making dinner, like I stopped actually like cooking dinner, uh, like, like, uh, the same thing at the same time because it just, it just doesn't work. Um, uh, there's a totally just lost my train of thought. You know what? I do that all the time. It's like running crazy right off the side of the road. I didn't sleep very well last night. My youngest is having nightmares. And, uh, when, when you're autistic kids don't sleep, uh, you tend to not sleep. So I'm kind of running on empty. Um, uh, what was, what was the question you were asking?

Speaker 2:

Oh, it was just, you know, how has it affected just in a very basic way, uh, your daily life? [inaudible] and you've really answered the question with the sensory issues, with the food issues, you know, the clothing. So, so I think we've kind of gotten the answer we wanted. Uh, Shannon has a question for you. Sure,

Speaker 5:

yeah. You know, I think, um, like a lot of the issues that come with autism, the way I kinda think about it is that, um, in some way I think of autism is separate from the issues. Hmm. Autism. Oh. Um, there's a dozen and then there's, then there are the sensory issues, the food sensitivities, the um, depression and anxiety and mood swings and that sounds and stuff. Um, so I can kind of see both sides and people will say that, um, you know, autism is a gift and then it [inaudible] the issues that that go with. But on the other and um, I autism you don't believe that autism is, again, I see that too because you know, I mean it does absolutely affect every single issue of your or every single aspect of the month. Can you talk a little bit about why you say you don't believe it's a gift?

Speaker 6:

[inaudible]

Speaker 3:

well, I don't believe it's a gift. Yeah. Well, Ooh, that's, that's a little bit loaded I think.

Speaker 2:

No, I, I that was on your about page.

Speaker 3:

So is it really, I really need to go through, well, here's, here's the thing, what I, I, I, well I guess I don't really see my kids is autistic. I just see my kids in their sort of bizarre behaviors sometimes. Um, well a lot of the times, um, they, what I try to do is there's, there's a lot of division inside the autism and you have, you had parents who, who think like autism is their kid super power and that's fine for them because that's what gets them through the day and that's how they view it. That's perfectly fine. But there are some who deal with things like with my oldest, he's going to be 20, but he's about six years old, uh, cognitively. And, and he wasn't born autistic. He regressed, um, at about age four in instance. So the kid that we knew, uh, was sort of taken away from us, uh, and he regressed into autism.

Speaker 3:

And so, so in that sense, I would not say it was a gift. I would say it sort of stole him from us. Um, when you look at my other two, um, they are very, very high functioning. They are brilliant, they are very social. Um, and we deal with sensory issues and anxiety and things like that. But, um, academically they are grades ahead of themselves in a lot of cases and, uh, they're scary, smart, like scary smart and, and I, and I think they're going to do really well is as they get older. Um, and so in that case I could see it more as a gift for them because the way that it tends to impact the way they think in the way that they view the world seems to sort of enhance, uh, their ability to sort of interact within it. But that isn't the case for everyone. And so I find it frustrating when, when we sort of generalize, say like, autism is just this worst thing ever, or autism is the best thing ever because it's different for everyone.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, I absolutely agree. Cause I think, um, you just, you're absolutely right. You can't generalize. There are no two people or no two families that are alike. Um, people have different and weaknesses. I think it's kind of, it's a myth that every kid that has autism has some kind of stuff, skill. Um,

Speaker 3:

so many hands stability, like, like, uh, you know, they're, they're savant in certain areas. Some of them aren't. You know, and when we, I sort of feel like we, we, the stereotypes can be very harmful because even you, you have parents who have kids that are more high functioning versus kids that are low functioning and because they had the same diagnosis, each parent assumes the other person's experience is similar and it, and that's not the way it is, at least not all the time. And, and it, and it creates tension and division and it's, it's one of the, one of the things that I, I've tried to,

Speaker 4:

Mmm.

Speaker 3:

Get across to people because I have that little microcosm in my, my own house with my oldest versus my youngest kids. And so I know there's a difference and I see it every day, but a lot of other people don't. And that's sort of where they find themselves, I guess.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. Well, I mean, I even noticed like, I'm like, I don't know very many people are on the spectrum I was at that are in my thirties day or was diagnosed I think in his forties. But I mean I worked pretty closely with jr and we are very, very different in the autistic that we have. Like I have a lot of sensory issues and I'm not talkative at all. Like I can go days without saying anybody. Um, and jr has just completely opposite.

Speaker 3:

I don't, I don't try to, three of my kids really, they just don't ever stop talking.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So let's, let's get into today's topic. So what are holiday gatherings like in the autism dad's world?

Speaker 3:

Well, uh, typically, um, it used to be that we just avoided it altogether because we, we knew going into it that we would have to deal with whatever comes out of it.

Speaker 5:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

And that usually meant meltdowns and in a couple of days worth of, uh, overstimulation

Speaker 3:

if we were already struggling to sort of cope with what was going on. Currently, we knew that if we pushed more on the kids because we wanted to go visit family or whatever, that it would just be too much. And so a lot of times we just tried to keep it as low key and as simple as we can. Um, as they've gotten older, they adapt better and, and they, uh, kind of acclimate more to this kind of stuff and, and they do okay. They will, they do really well really. But we will have issues afterwards sometimes where they're just bouncing off the walls or they're, uh, you know, they'll freak out over something. It's not that big of a deal normally. Um, they just sort of chew through their resources to cope with life while they're there and we have to expect that there's going to be some time for them to regroup afterwards, but low key. And

Speaker 5:

that's a really a really good point that you just made, that it's when you said they, okay.

Speaker 2:

Shannon, you were cutting out. Shannon is Jenny, you're cutting out. Can you say that again?

Speaker 5:

Yeah. Can you hear me now? Yep. How's that? Okay. Um, okay. So I think what you said about, um, them chewing through the resources really quickly is really, really key because like, I can do very well in social situations, but, um, I, my the to interact with people, um, I'll just hit on on point and then I'll have her, I'm talking, I won't be able to focus on any kind of conversation and I'm just completely burnt out. And what it looks like to other people is that, um, I

Speaker 3:

just don't care. I'm not interested or social or you just don't. Yeah. And, and people don't realize that, like, I'm not on a spectrum myself, but I, I've, I'm sort of the, I am the odd man out in the house. And so I have kind of a different perspective of things I guess. But it's like a, it's like a bank account, right? Like if you have $100 in your account and it's going to cost $100 to go to this party, when you come out of that, you have nothing. And so, you know, a lot of times what happens is, you know, my kids have resources built up that they can cope with the things that kind of happen in daily life. But if I ask too much of them, where I put them in a situation where they have to cope more than what they normally would, they choose through those resources and then they're left at a deficit.

Speaker 3:

And it, it's not easy for them to recover from that. And so, um, you know, it's a very delicate balance. You don't want to Rob them of the life experience, but you also know that, you know, meltdowns are, are, it's not a really a behavioral problem. It's, it's a, it's a, it's a point at which like they have reached a place where their bodies can't physically cope with anything anymore and they purge and it's unpleasant for the parents, but it's even worse for the person who's experiencing it firsthand. And so we just try to be aware of that when we're deciding what we do and what we don't do. And, and I mean, it's been 20 years almost now. So, uh, it's just become kind of second nature I guess. I don't really think about it a whole lot anymore. We just sort of just try to read the room and, and you know, always, always, always do what's best for them. Longterm I guess is then the focus.

Speaker 2:

Right. Well and you mentioned a good point that you know, after the event you've got to take your downtime to recharge and uh, Shannon and I was not, we're just autistic or doing an event in early December called geekness, which is a huge nerd holiday event. And let's face it, there's a lot of nerds on the spectrum, right?

Speaker 3:

Cause a lot of nurses not on the spectrum.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Well yeah but, but so, so we're going there just to raise some autism awareness, but we both decided on our own that the next few days after this event, cause we've got to go set up the night before and it's a nine hour event that day that we're actually, I'm in charge of the scavenger hunt. So everybody in the building is be coming to our table at least twice. But you know, the two days afterwards, we're both taking a break, you know, we're not scheduling anything so that we can recharge our batteries.

Speaker 3:

It's a lot of people contact, even not being on a spectrum. I think that would be, I mean that would be a lot for me and I can just imagine that it would be sort of amplified

Speaker 2:

for couple of aspects.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just imagining my kids in that situation. I'm thinking like, Oh man, like that's a lot to ask them. So I applaud you guys for, for doing that.

Speaker 2:

But you know what, it's all, it's all about autism awareness. So it, it's something that we're both willing to, to sacrifice and to do. Well. I appreciate, I appreciate that. Thank you. So, you know, Robbie, you've talked about how your kids recharge. So how is it for you as, as the data, the three kids, these holiday gatherings?

Speaker 3:

Well, um, it's a little bit different this year because, uh, I, I recently became a single dad, so I am, we haven't really had any holidays. Yeah. Really. And well, none at all. And holidays were really big for me. Like family is everything. And, uh, my wife, uh, left in August after about, well, been again about 20 years. Um, and so it was just me and the kids and it's really, really hard on them. It's really hard on me. And so I, I guess I don't know what it's going to be like, to be honest. Um, we're kind of figuring that out as we go. Uh, but, but I'm trying to keep it as is typical for them is as we can and, uh, just take whatever kind of comes our way on, on that.

Speaker 2:

So what would you tell other families on the spectrum in regards to managing their holiday gatherings?

Speaker 3:

Well, personally, myself, I always feel like it's quality over quantity. And if, you know, a lot of, a lot of families like to let, you know, visit like all the relatives and whatever. And that's a lot to put on a kid on the spectrum. And I know it's a sacrifice a lot of times to, to not do that. And a lot of families don't understand, they take it personally, and that's something you gotta deal with too. But, um, you know, I guess, I guess for me, I try to balance out, you know, spending time with family versus asking too much for my kids and just, you know, be prepared to leave if we're there, even if it's for a short time, if, if they're sort of in over their heads and we, you know, we gracefully make our exit and, and uh, I never make the kids feel guilty about anything because it's not their fault and just sorta go for,

Speaker 5:

I think that's really the key. You know, you're just recognizing that this, that your kids have limits and, you know, you just need to respect them, um, and be aware of them. Because before I was diagnosed, um, like I live in Springfield, my husband, his family lived in st Louis and st Charles and, um, we would go up there and we wouldn't have long to spend and he has family in like every County, like five different ones. And so we would start the day at his sister's house and it would be his mother's house. Then we go to his cousins and then another cousin. And then there were these old friends from high school and then we'd all end up at his grandmother's house, which was like an 800 square foot house that was packed with about 30 people and that, and um, by the end of that I was, I was virtually comatose and you could have had me committed.

Speaker 5:

I was just a basket case. And, um, even before I was diagnosed, we got to the point where I negotiate for, um, for us staying at his mom's house instead of his third house cause they had four kids. And, and then I would just usually I started staying at his mom's house for about half of it alone. And, um, and even when I wasn't diagnosed, he still recognized that I had my limits and I wasn't going to be good for anything, so we might as well just make the best of it. And I picked which one he decided which ones it was the most important for him, for me to go to and we worked it out that way. Um, so I'm kind of glad that we were able to negotiate that even before my diagnosis. But, um, the diagnosis was extremely validating because I always felt so, so guilty about that and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me that I couldn't handle being around people for that long.

Speaker 3:

A lot of social anxiety. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 5:

A lot of, um, also I have some, I think sensory processing, auditory processing issues. So I'm trying to, yeah, I'm trying to, I'm sitting in a room and there are people with like chairs side-by-side, two inches apart, cause you're trying to fit 20 people in a tiny living room. And so they're, you know, 10 conversations going on and I hear all of them. Yeah. All of them then I can't really, I can hardly figure out what somebody is saying to me. I might as well, um, tense and purposes on death. So, um, so yeah, I think it's, it's really important to be aware of those things. So you don't, um, like I think sometimes people will, will say to, especially the kids on the spectrum that they need to teach their kids social skills, but it's not a social skill issue. When somebody is completely overwhelmed and about to have a meltdown that's not because they are being rude or disrespectful. That's because they're overwhelmed. It has absolutely nothing to do with being polite or not.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And people don't, people don't get that. And then they take offense and then that creates tension. Then you feel guilty. And then,

Speaker 4:

yeah, I've,

Speaker 3:

I sort of gave up on trying to please people and, uh, just because those that aren't gonna understand are never gonna understand and those that do. Uh, but, and I'm sorry, my mom. Oh yeah. Those that do are supportive and they understand if you have to leave or you can't make it. And, and, uh, you know, I'm, I'm focusing a lot this year on, um, making sure the kids, like we're going to do, we have two Thanksgivings. My sister's throwing one before Thanksgiving so everybody can be there. And then my parents were throwing one on Thanksgiving. And so we're going to go twice. There's not going to be a whole lot of people there. And I'm the oldest of six. So it's mostly siblings that take up all the space and, um, you know, they're really great with the kids and they're very patient and they're understanding and yeah, I'm very, very lucky to have that. And not, not everybody does. And so I, I, I am aware of that and, and I, you know, I think it's really great that you guys negotiated Mmm.

Speaker 2:

[inaudible]

Speaker 3:

sort of a way to make it work. A lot of people would find that would create tension and then that would greet problems in [inaudible]. People don't talk. And I think that's, that's awesome that you guys have that figured out and it's working for you. Right. That's, that's awesome.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Hey, so let's go back a few years, uh, in 2015, uh, when you help lead the charge for autism to be recognized as a qualifying condition for medical marijuana in your state. Uh, tell us a little bit about that experience.

Speaker 3:

Mmm. I guess I didn't have anything to do with that. And I, and I, I

Speaker 2:

again, again on the about page.

Speaker 3:

Okay. Yeah. I, I'm, I'm not sure about that. Um, because medical marijuana only became legal last year in the state of Ohio. And autism I don't think is, yeah. Uh, is one of them. My, my ex wife, uh, was among the first two, uh, get her medicinal marijuana card and that was middle early last year, uh, for chronic pain and fibromyalgia and stuff like that. But there hasn't been anything, so I'm,

Speaker 2:

okay. So then let's, let's take it this way. What are your thoughts on autism being a qualifying condition for medical marijuana?

Speaker 3:

Huh. Um, I don't know. I, I've, I've talked to some people about that and a, I don't know that there's enough, well, it depends on what we're talking about. If we're talking about adults,

Speaker 2:

whole different stories. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, we're talking about adults.

Speaker 3:

Oh, okay. Yeah. Kids, I, I, I would, not myself, but adults. Yeah. I mean, I, I would think I watched my wife or my ex wife, Mmm. She lived in and she's an Aspy. Uh, she lived in constant pain. She had it, she had to say migraine for seven years. Uh, medications, uh, headache, confusions, nothing touched it. She got her medical marijuana card and, uh, you can only use, uh, you can only vape it here in Ohio right now. Um, and she used that once in all of her pain was gone and her anxiety was gone. And so I'm, I mean, I'm a firm believer. I, I wasn't until then, I was not really on board with it, but I've seen it work and I think that it's way better for you than, than pumping up on narcotics and, uh, you know, Xanax or, or whatever for anxiety.

Speaker 3:

This is something that's very natural. There's no longterm side effects that anybody really knows of. And yeah, I mean it's just really expensive. That's, and insurance is never going to pay for it. Uh, that's the only downside really. And you are kind of an abbreviated, yeah, you are totally inebriated. I mean, but it's life. It's life changing now. Really. I mean, it, it, it, it sort of brought her back to us for awhile and I would, um, I mean, I would, for an adult, I would have no qualms saying, Hey, at least look into it. Kids would be a different story.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 3:

Even CBD oil is positive.

Speaker 2:

I'm, I, I'm a big proponent of CBD oil and I just moved to Missouri two years ago from California and I had tried the, uh, the medical marijuana and I will tell you that it did definitely help with the anxiety quite a bit.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So it's right here.

Speaker 2:

So let's talk about your Twitter feed. Uh, your social media. I got to tell you, it's one of the best around, you got almost 41,000 followers. How much time do you take researching and keeping up to date every day, every week?

Speaker 3:

Uh, I, I don't really do, there's no Reese and for, for me, there's no research involved. Um, what I do is, uh, it used to be more about, it used to be all related to autism and then sort of things changed in our country. And I found myself becoming more political. Uh, and so I try to, I try to balance it out as best I can, but I, I mean, there's just, it's hard to do right now, but, uh, you know, I think, I think it's engaging with people and, um, you know, just, just putting things out there that the, the irrelevant to whatever is going on. And, um, it's been, I mean, it's been a journey. It wasn't an overnight thing. And, um, I still a lot of growing that I'd like to do, but, uh, you know, I just, that's, that's sort of my main form of communication with the world outside of the blog is, is, is on Twitter because it's, it's quick, it's easy. Uh, I've made a lot of really cool connections and it's a great way to help, um, market, uh, your blog or your podcast and, and, and help get that message out there because it's, it's really quick. You don't have to pay for anything. Facebook has gone, I don't really like Facebook anymore. Um, and Twitter is really sort of the dominant, I think the dominant force. Absolutely. Social marketing. So

Speaker 2:

Rob, we've got about six minutes left and you mentioned your podcast. That was next on my list. Ah, you can catch his podcast at anchor.fm/the autism dad talked to us for just a minute or two about your podcast.

Speaker 3:

Okay. That actually just changed two days ago. Um, I, I got away from anchor and I moved to a different host, but you can just, you can just go to the autism dad.com/podcast and, and all the episodes are there and then you can subscribe directly from there. If you aren't that way, it's, it's easier for people to find [inaudible].

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And by the way, all these, uh, all these links that we give you here in just the next couple of minutes will be in the, uh, the blog post that accompanies this so you don't have to worry about writing them down right now as we're talking too fast,

Speaker 3:

especially if you're driving, especially if you're driving. Yeah. So, uh,

Speaker 2:

Twitter, you're at the autism dad.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Facebook, which you said you don't really do a whole lot with anymore. I have a, yeah, I, my personal profile is just, it's Facebook at or Ford. Slash Rob Gorski, 78 is my personal profile. And then the autism dad is the, is the page. Um, I network there but I don't spend any time there. So if anybody tries to, people send me a message on there and I don't see it forever because I don't ever look. Um,

Speaker 2:

so Rob was about four minutes ago. Is there anything that we forgot or anything else that you really want to of kind of bring up or talk about here?

Speaker 3:

Uh, the only thing that I ever, I don't like giving people advice, but the only thing that I do really, really sort of try and drive home is self care. Uh, because you know, autism parents, just speaking from a parent's perspective, are, are chronically stressed and over time that takes a toll on your body and you have to take care of yourself in order to be the best version of you for your kids. Uh, you have to be selfish before you can be selfless. And it's really, really important to get into the habit of, of making time for yourself, to make sure that you are putting the resources back into your account so that you can cope with life and, and be what your kids need you to be. So, uh, that is my, my pearls of wisdom for today.

Speaker 2:

All right. Shannon, do you have anything else you want to say or talk about?

Speaker 5:

Oh, no, I, but I, I totally, I, um, I am not [inaudible], um, of children with autism. Yeah. I can only imagine.

Speaker 2:

Okay. You're cutting out again.

Speaker 5:

Oh, sorry. Can you hear me now?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Better. Yep. The last thing we heard was you're not a parent of children with autism.

Speaker 5:

Oh, okay. I'm so sorry. Okay. But I can only imagine how important self care is. And I totally agree. It's that, you know, that old saying about putting your own mask on before you put your kid's mask on, it's your, you know, in the, on a plane. Um, and I just, I think that must be so, so, so challenging for so many parents who have children with autism because their needs are so immediate and urgent and um, and completely, you just can't look away from them, but you can look away from your own needs. And so I think that's, that's gotta be priceless advice.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, Hey, Rob Gorski. Thank you for joining us and thank you for being the first of our guests on, uh, the whole month of December where we're talking about autism and dealing with the holidays. Uh, don't forget to check them out on Twitter. Again, the autism dad catches podcast, the autism dads slash podcast. And don't forget to subscribe to the autism dads. You can get all the excellent blog posts. I am a subscriber and I'll admit, I don't read everyone, but I do read quite a bit, so thank you, Rob. Well, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.