Theresa Byrne was at the top of her game as the most decorated female martial arts practitioner in her style. She had a 4th-degree black belt and her own dojo teaching others the art of self-defense. She was focused, determined and unstoppable – a force to be reckoned with.
And then … the accident happened.
A car hit her from the rear, forced off the road and into a wall. In the wreck she suffered a traumatic brain injury and had a near-death experience.
The life Theresa knew before vanished. In its place, a new journey started … one in which she had to learn about what she’d lost, and start the path to whomever she would become.
In this wide-ranging interview she talks about the pains and frustrations of loss.
She also shares the details of the near-death experience, and how it has become her North Star for moving forward. From the top of her field, to trauma, to TEDx and beyond … it is a story of how one person has turned trauma into transformation.
Theresa Byrne was at the top of her game as the most decorated female martial arts practitioner in her style. She had a 4th-degree black belt and her own dojo teaching others the art of self-defense. She was focused, determined and unstoppable – a force to be reckoned with.
And then … the accident happened.
A car hit her from the rear, forced off the road and into a wall. In the wreck she suffered a traumatic brain injury and had a near-death experience.
The life Theresa knew before vanished. In its place, a new journey started … one in which she had to learn about what she’d lost, and start the path to whomever she would become.
In this wide-ranging interview she talks about the pains and frustrations of loss.
She also shares the details of the near-death experience, and how it has become her North Star for moving forward. From the top of her field, to trauma, to TEDx and beyond … it is a story of how one person has turned trauma into transformation.
spk_0: 0:00
I think this is
spk_1: 0:07
Doug Green with what really matters interviews. And today I'm really excited about interviewing Theresa Burn. I've known Theresa for several years, and she's basically she's a badass. When I first met her, I Well, I haven't met her in person, but we've been Facebook friends for return of five or six or seven years, and she has 1/4 degree black belt in her. I'm not sure which style of Marshall Archie studies, but she got the four first fourth degree black Belt as a woman in that field, and she's done a Ted X talk, and she's done self, say, self protection video, self self defense. Yes, and so she she's really amazing. But what happened several years ago is she had a She was in a car accident and she had a traumatic brain injury, and it's put her life on a different trajectory, and that's what we're going to explore today. So without further ado, welcome to the podcast, Terry. And to reset. Thanks for joining us.
spk_0: 1:10
You go by Terry. Um, no, my relatives will call me Terry, and I'll always say, It's Theresa. It's traces. So apparently you and I are now related. So is that
spk_1: 1:19
Okay? So tell us real briefly who you were before this happened. Just give us a snapshot of what your life was like before the accident. Ah, you were
spk_0: 1:29
I owned martial arts and fitness studio Large was about 6000 square feet, had 15 employees. And as a solo preneurs for a woman there. Very few women that start our own martial arts schools without a father without a legacy without a husband. And so I was among a pretty small group of women that were doing that. Also earned my fourth degree black belt. The system that I study in is a blended style here in Colorado, and it includes taekwondo, Krav Maga, hop Tito, Brazilian jujitsu, we Thai kickboxing and three weapon arts. So sticks, numb chucks and both staff is what we taught. And then I trained in several other arts. I wasn't I was proficient, but not a black belt in other arts as well. Wow, I think I like the most about martial arts, is that it's not something I ever expected to dio. Nor is it something I ever thought I would become a master in. I really admired Miyagi, Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid with that gentle strength that he didn't have to walk around fighting people. He had humor and lightheartedness, and that's that's really the kind of instructor I was. I developed a system called leading Through Love, and it was one of the first martial art systems where we built people up based on encouragement instead of tearing them down to make them better soldiers or to make them better at obeying. My system was kind of upside down. If you talk about
spk_1: 2:52
that real briefly, how special? So really all events. When
spk_0: 2:57
I started the studio, a lot of the students that came in were parents who were dropping off. Their Children are getting their Children training for things like autism, a DHD. We had kids with down syndrome, any any kind of neurological differences. We had Children coming and and then their parents and start trading to after a while. But there was no way an old school, huh? You must obey. I need 20 push up Now I fly these Children one of runs screaming. So when I was teaching them, I started seeing all these variances and how in traditional martial arts. We really did. There were words for it at that point and the secret this was in like late late 19 nineties. The secret wasn't out yet. We were talking a lot of attraction of positivity, and I started studying emotional development and how Children learn and how adults learn and created this system where people could figure out something they were good at. We can all find something we're good at, and then we can build on that success without having to tear anything down. And my it was like a social experiment. Some of the other instructors, I think, in the systems in different systems. You know, I got a lot of flak for being Oh, she's too nice. So she's too kind that she's never gonna you know what I'm saying? Like that was just so not traditional that I gotta lie and even my ex husband, he's now, Mike says, My husband at the time was very hard on me, the united of Andhra about like, No, I'm not. That's not gonna work with these Children. They need to create an internal set of discipline yelling at them. It's not gonna help it's going to create a very short response. So I studied a lot about the brain and I studied how we learn how we think how we grow and that go figure ended up helping me years later when I have my car accident.
spk_1: 4:48
Okay, so you have the stoop that karate is a martial arts studio going before, before the accident and things were flying along. And then you have this accident. Tell us about this.
spk_0: 5:00
I was driving home, running some errands in a suburb of Denver, and I don't know where some guy ran into the driver's side wheel. Not my wheel in the front, but the one behind me, and it turned it something with an axle. I'm not like a car mechanic, so I have no idea what happened. But my brakes stopped working and my steering stopped working. So I hit my head as the guy hit me, ran into me and, um, smashed my car. I ran into a, um, not a medium, but almost a short. I don't know what you call it and then into a brick wall. So I had the equivalent of three impacts, which was like getting hit with six different linebackers. So any time you have an injury to your head, you've got one side that you hit. And then the brain slashes to the other side and creates damage on both sides. So you'll have swelling damage, inflammation on all of the side. So I had the equivalent of, like getting six concussions at one time. I did not have any broken bones. I was not bleeding, so I scrambled out of the car. Luckily, during I don't even remember hitting the wall ahead. Uh, I got pulled out of my body and went on a lovely near death experience during the accident, so I don't even remember hitting the brick wall, which is kind of nice. I appreciate that. Thanks, guys.
spk_1: 6:21
So didn't people call an ambulance?
spk_0: 6:24
Everybody? There were about six cars that pulled over because it looked like they were gonna have to jaws for life Me out of this vehicle. Nobody went after the guy that hit me, but I had all this lovely support of these people wanting to help. I had ah, Police department showed up. They did a very quick test. I explained that my adrenaline was on overload And since I wasn't bleeding or broken, I said no to the hospital. In retrospect, I think I probably should've would've gone. I ended up going to urgent care and a hospital later that night just to get checked out, and they told me I had a head injury, but they didn't. They weren't very clear as to what to look for that I remember.
spk_1: 7:05
Did you have any internal hemorrhaging in your brain? Well, you know, we're like it.
spk_0: 7:09
It it ended up doing that, but I didn't know that's what it was doing. So when you get a brain injury, if you got a cat scan on memory, really all it's all it will show you is the lobes of your brain. It's very difficult to show inflammation or the accidents, which are the ways that are. Neural transmitters talk to each other, they pull apart. You can't see that on an X ray. So I did end up getting ah, CT scan, maybe in a camera like that, but it didn't show internal hemorrhaging or bleeding, which would if if I was stroking out. But so I thought I was okay, took some rest and went back to work, so started teaching again and I can't remember words. And I balance is really off. And I started getting headaches and, like, a pressure in my head that I never experienced before. Couldn't wasn't hungry, didn't want to eat, Couldn't figure out how to use a microwave a lot of buttons. So a lot of things started feeling really confusing.
spk_1: 8:12
Did your personality change in there, too? Like your sense of knowing martial arts, You can be aggressive, that ability to draw channel into that inner strength Could be anger that you focus, push out or something. Did you notice that things changed in you, or did people reflect back to you? It's okay. You don't seem like the same Theresa we knew. And here's
spk_0: 8:34
one. Yes, I did start getting feedback that I seemed, um, almost like I was stoned because I would be really out of it and confused and repeat myself. I would fade out, and then one of my eyes started going sideways, like when I was drifting to the other side. I did have later I had anger, and I'd have to catch myself. I'm an anger management educator, so I know the signs. But man, my frustration level with 0 to 60 where I'm usually like a 0 to 5 you you know I can I don't get triggered that much. But after the accident Oh, man, it was hard, my temper and I Anytime I snapped it. Anybody or, you know, was short or blunt. I went back and apologize because I know better. But who was hard to control it?
spk_1: 9:28
Who? Well, you also mentioned that you had a near death experience in that Ah, at the moment. Is that the near death experience we were talking about earlier? Right during the break. So do you wantto dive into that? A little
spk_0: 9:42
well and so many of the big lessons that I learned really were as a result of that near death experience. So as I was heading because I my car swerved into the wrong lane of traffic and my first wish or prayer, was God, Please don't let me hurt anybody else. And then my next wits like spoken in my mind, thought or wish. Waas? Is this it? Have I done everything I came here to do? Now keep in mind, I'm headed directly toward a brick wall. There was no amount of martial arts training. There was no amount of I. Q. There was no amount of anything that was going to stop me from hitting that brick wall. And so in that moment I was incredibly power less, and I also surrendered. So my question was my done. And in that second, I don't know how long it lasted, But sometimes people will be gifted with a life review. If you've ever heard that they go through, like a review of their life or quick snapshot,
spk_1: 10:37
I have heard that, Yeah, it's like you're their life flashes before their eyes kind of deal.
spk_0: 10:41
Yeah, but instead of my life, I was gifted this picture of me almost like on a kind of a human treadmill hamster wheel. And I was like, God, to make a difference, Got to make a difference. Gotta help. People got to help people. And they showed me how I was so focused on trying to help others that I never want stopped to see all of the people that I had actually made a difference for already. It was like always gotta do more. Gotta do more gotta anymore and they showed me how ironic it Waas and I was given, like all these people throughout the years that I have made an impact on and helped and supported And they showed me these people with these big gold open hearts and these big, beautiful, loving smiles on their face. And then they showed me the contrast of how hard I am. God help! Gotta help! And they're like, Yeah, but look at all you've done. You've never stopped to appreciate it. And to be honest, that's not how I grew up. It wasn't that you ever sat back on your laurels and said, Yes, I am master of all I survey and felt that level of I don't know what you would call it and you might have a word for it. Accomplishment or yeah,
spk_1: 11:49
a sense of deep drawer that you've contributed. You've made a contribution and you have made an impact on the world.
spk_0: 11:55
I did not feel that It's not a feeling that I was familiar with until that very moment. So I was given the gift of peace in that moment and then and I kind of this piece like if the answer was yes I was done or No, I wasn't done. I was cool with whatever the answer. Waas And that was unusual for me. I'm very much of a go getter and achiever and for me to go All right, we'll see What happens was when it came to my own life. That was interesting. So then I got pulled out of my body and I went to this big, vast space. I'd like to say up, up, but I don't really know. It could've been sideways where Waas
spk_1: 12:37
somewhere other than here somewhere other
spk_0: 12:40
than And I call it the in between place because I don't know where it was. And I didn't have a feeling of traveling from one plate. There was not a cognition of one place to the next place. It was like here, Here you were just instant. It was instant. I guess it must be even on Star Trek. You know, when they transport people, you it takes a second to transport. There was no transportation time, so I'm in this big open space and you're gonna laugh. I remember thinking this is an ineffective use of space because there was nothing there, and it was this kind of grayish color? Um, not a lovely gray again. I think I was being judgmental of the space I I own that there was a bunch of mist. It wasn't like these big, fluffy heaven clouds and there were no angels and but it was a There's a mist and this voice, kind of a disembodied voice, said, Because my question was Am I done have I can't have I done everything and came here to Dio and this loving I can't just this voice said no And it gave me this feeling of, um, complete and utter appreciation, something I've never felt on this side before, like no sweetie. And then it said, or it gave me the ideas. So it was almost like floating thought forms, and it would almost be like if I handed you here, Doug, Here's a big bubble of how I think, ah, bunch of words, some energy, and then you just kind of take it in. You go. OK, I get it. It was like that. It was like sharing this bubble of feelings, thoughts, information and so this bubble said there's more work for you to dio right on top of there's more work to be done. And I was a floating essence, which also thought was really interesting. So all of the things that I had up until now thought that mattered. No one on the other side gave a rat's ass about how many degrees I had, how much I weighed, how smart I was, how much I accomplished, how much money I made, how many millions of books I sold. None of it mattered. I was this essence like this golden lights, blob of essence. And as was the other being that was there with me and I was like, Wow, this is so freeing. I don't have to do all of the things I thought I had to do to You know, I don't know to be a human being or and the energy of this other being was so loving. And it's not just accepting but appreciative, like, Wow, you humans are adorable. So I asked, Are you angels guides? You know, like I wanted to know the names because that's how I thought on this said, What do we call you? And they were like, one matter, whatever you want And I was like Wow. Okay. What about God? Is it God, Jesus, Buddha, The one divine source. The quantum energy. Like what is God? And they were like, What do you want to call it? It doesn't. That's a human, huh? So those were very interesting pieces. When I came back, I was like, and I think I remember saying, you know, we're fighting wars on the other side over the name of God, and y'all are like whatever called Qala Bob, if you want to, doesn't matter.
spk_1: 15:56
So this all happened during that That crash
spk_0: 16:00
in between meaning hitting and getting hit and hitting the wall. Wow. Esso, however long that took, I don't really know in in real time. And I also came back with realizing man Time is a Roose. We think of time and another side. They're like olive so cute. Time is circular or it's not linear. Y'all are fun with your little clocks and your things have to happen certain times anyway. That's my story as manure death.
spk_1: 16:28
So this revelation, you come out of this impact and so there's two. It sounds like there's two parts going on. There's there's actual physical trauma, and there's also Yeah. And then there's also this experience that you had that you bring with you. So talk about the next, um, I don't know, week or month or whatever. Sort of feels like an important time period in here before you sort of silent kind of settled in like, OK, this is where I'm at now.
spk_0: 16:57
Like, well, you know, Yeah, I thought it was I thought it was kind of a crock that I'm told that there's more to Dio and I have got more to d'oh. And then I'm giving a frickin brain injury. And not only that, So there was a little bit of, ah, stubborn piss off ethnicity. So not only that, but I was then diagnosed with neuro endocrine disorder, Panic disorder, adrenal abnormality. My fighter flight system was on full time. Insomnia didn't sleep for, like, five months. PTSD, anxiety and depression. And I'm sure there's some other ones in there, but I can't remember what they are. So every doctor's. When I finally went to go see the doctor, I was having shooting pains in my head like someone was shoving a hot poker and my head was undulating like I could feel the swelling in my brain. It was so weird. And the doctor said, I went to the emergency room and they said, You have post concussive syndrome and I was like, I have a concussion and by this point, I'm crying at the drop of a hat. I am emotional. I am. I feel broken. I'm feel like I'm a nut job. Um, I was having dementia all almost like, You know, that there is a computer in front of you, but you can't see it, but your brain can physically not see it or you think it's the wrong year. It was like Crazy town
spk_1: 18:18
How much time has passed since
spk_0: 18:20
I was probably the first couple of months. I didn't really go in to get full on neurological treatment for two months. I was just trying to self medicate and self not. I mean, I self medicate with, like, rest and quiet time, and I'm trying to take care of myself because I I'm so funny. I can't think. What are they gonna do? Cast my brain can't cast anything. I don't I don't need a doctor, you know? So I'm doing acupuncture. I'm doing chiropractic or I'm trying all these other healing modalities and they weren't working. So I finally went to go see my concussion doctor. And she said that I was not only helping my brain, I was probably hurting it by continuing to move forward. Because what do you do if you're injured? Right? You push through the pain or you warrior through it, or I'm not gonna let this stop me. When it comes to brains, you have to let it stop you. And that's one piece of advice that I give to anyone who's dealing with a concussion is the more that you can rest now, the faster your brain will hear hell. And so the doctors put me in what's called timeout or low stimulus. It started as a weak and ended up as close to two years. I stopped counting cause it was so depressing every time I went in there like no two more months, no one more month. Nope, Three more months and I note no TV, no phone, no lights, no interaction. I had to pull out a life, basically.
spk_1: 19:42
So what was that like?
spk_0: 19:44
There were times for the first, I think, First breakdown, I had was questioning if I had any value left because which was a great question. I guess that I had stemmed my value from the fact that I could help others. And if I couldn't help anybody if I wasn't coaching, teaching, making a difference, doing things, what value did I have? And I got this lovely voice in my head saying Your valuable just because you are you have value because you are. And up until that point, I was probably over giving overworking over pushing because that was one of the ways at my system felt valuable and all of a sudden I couldn't coach people. I mean, I was teaching martial arts, but I was also life coaching friends or anyone who needed it or etcetera, etcetera. I'm also an intuitive, so I would have a lot of people reaching out for Hey, what's your hit on this? Or can you help me with that? So all of that had to stop all the ways I was getting value like I thought I was valuable on the planet couldn't do it, so I had to relearn how to just be
spk_1: 20:47
wow. So 18 months, two years somewhere in that time span. You're in this sort of isolated place and there's a voice going on inside your head. Maybe the I have no value. But then the voice says You do have value and that in itself is enough. You don't need to be doing anything right now. Is that pretty accurate?
spk_0: 21:09
Yeah, that is part of it. So I I've always been Ah, intuitive. So I've always hurt. So some people hear a voice in their head and some people don't Did you know that?
spk_1: 21:17
I assume that most people have a voice, and so I certainly have one that yaks all the time. It's like the roommate that won't go away.
spk_0: 21:24
I know I When I found out there were people who don't have a voice like that, I was like, What you guys do all day? Do you talk to? So I have I have that voice and I also have my intuitive voice. So my intuitive voice will show up every now and then and go hey, picture or, you know, look at this. It's very it's very loving. It's wonderful. I love it. I had another voice that jumped in my head tolling, telling me to off myself at this time, and that's not something. First of all, that's not Burbage I would ever use. Who says off yourself and this voice? It was It was different. It was, like, soft. And, you know, you're you're you're broken, you're never gonna be the same. And you're gonna be a burden on everyone else and turn to coat. Also said you should off yourself. And I was like, Screw you not doing it. Who the hell are you? Get on my head. So for a few months, I fought it. I would be like food, put it off, yelling at it. And then being the self defense instructor, am I realized it's a lot of energy to fight it. So you know what? I'm just gonna allow I'm just gonna allow that voice to blah blah, blah, And it would show up any time I felt damaged. Broken? Um, not good enough. Like I wasn't gonna heal. That voice would show up. And for I can't tell you how long's I don't. Time is not linear in this in these instances. So for a long time I would be like, yeah, blah, blah, blah. I'm Iraq, blah, blah, blah. I'm a failure, blah, blah, blah. I'm broken and I would just, you know, like Bligh it. And then, while I was supposed to be quiet, having quiet time, I was teaching myself how to write online books e books, because there was still so much inside of me that wanted to come out, and I was told I'd never teach martial arts again. So for 20 plus years, that had been my career in my business. And the idea of being unknown and not knowing what to do with myself and knowing I still had so much to give started trading on how to write e books. And I started teaching myself how to do online programs when I was probably not supposed to. But I did anyway, and the first time I had a really bad failure, I did an online course called The Inner Warrior, unleashing the inner warrior, and I screwed up the text so bad that the it was wife. It was blinking in and out. So I had 100 and 50 people on this webinar, and the tack was blinking in and out so people couldn't stay on. But I didn't know it because I was a record mode. So for 45 minutes I poured my heart and my soul out in this webinar. And at the end, I looked at my phone and people were texting me going your we can't hear you, The audio's off, its you're freezing. And I was, like, son of Ah, So that voice showed up hard and it said, See, you're a failure. You're not gonna figure this out. There's no way. And then it like to bring up instances in my life when I had failings or made mistakes. And I looked at the voice at that time and I said, Do you really believe that? Do you believe that about yourself? Has anyone ever given you love? Has anyone ever told you that you were valuable? I would hate to be in your position. I feel sorry for you. Do you know light? Do you know love? Do you know God? And this voice was like, What? Uh hello? What are you You're talking to me and I said yes. I wish you light. I wish you peas. I am. I feel sad for you. And this voice was like, Ah, um and then it kind of ran away, and I thought that was fairly interesting. So a couple weeks later, I I asked to bring the boys back. Why wouldn't you? So I was in a meditation, and I was like, Okay, I'd like to talk to that voice that wants me to off myself. So I brought this voice in and I had this, like, sacred space set up. And in my mind, it was like I had Archangel Michael because he's kind of a badass and war, you know, like, we're angels around me. I was in this great safe healing place. I brought this voice out and I was like, So what are you on? The voice was like, I don't know. And I was like, What are you trying to dio? And it said that it was a tortured soul or tortured energy. I don't even know if these words soul and it was looking for other energy. Similar. And it was like trying to get other tortured souls together. And I was like, Do you come from someone or somewhere? And I was like, No, no, it had no idea it had no self concept, and from what it said, it only new dark. It only knew it had not known like it had not known anything else, and it wasn't sent from anywhere bad or evil. It was just this energy and it was attracted to that and was trying to pull people. I guess you would say it was trying to get them to suicide and
spk_1: 26:04
the purpose of the reason I wanted to do it,
spk_0: 26:07
it didn't know it's so It said it was a tortured soul and I did some research. 33% of people who end up with a brain injury will attempt or complete suicide, and I wonder how many of them have that voice in their head and then they think that that's their brain telling them that. And I feel pretty blessed that I knew it wasn't. But there's a questionnaire in every doctor's appointment where you have to say, Are you hearing voices? And I would always say yes, and then they would have to sit me down and it would say, Is the voice telling you to kill yourself, hurt yourself or someone else? And I realized, well, how many like Homicide are also a result of this negative energy tortured soul voice. And I don't have the answers to that. This is I'm just I made a commitment to share that. That's what the voice is doing in my head. Mmm. To be anyone who asked. So that's my story.
spk_1: 26:57
Okay, so how did you move through That
spk_0: 27:00
voice Never showed up again after I gave it love. And like, a nasty questions. Really? Really. Now. And that is not to say I didn't have the inter Boli as I talk about in the Ted talk, but the inner bully was a much different version. So, uh, let me see about this. So that voice it made me it was like it was trying to change my thinking. If that makes any sense, it was like it wanted consideration. You wanted me to think about it. Like, what would it be like if I offer myself What do you like it? The pain was gone, but the inner bully I started noticing that I had fear reactions. Two things that didn't used to have fear reactions to. And I'm in a dream. No technology specialist. So I trained people in how to understand adrenaline, not just in a safety but in life somatic Lee. So I started noticing Freeze response and fear response.
spk_1: 27:49
Can you give an example of that in action?
spk_0: 27:52
Sure. Procrastination, Avoidance. Distraction. Um, let's see, what else was it for me, Um, numbing out. Making it going after dreams that I had or pursuing things. I would come up with excuses, I would feel doubt. And it wasn't verbal. So you know the inner critic, right? Sure, it wasn't verbal. It was just this like, Ah, almost like a little kid. So when you meet a little kid and you tell them to eat their broccoli, they're like black Noah. It's kind of my certain parts of my life. If I was taking on something I was slightly nervous about outside of my comfort zone. My inner billy was like mash. Yeah,
spk_1: 28:38
so that's kind of coming from Ah, Sounds like it's coming from the limbic system level that the reptilian brain, that's where that fight flight.
spk_0: 28:46
Yeah, but don't think about it. And even as a self defense instructor, I trained people against an external bully. An external relationship. This is Homie. I could not Ron So in the Ted talk, I talk about how we we've all known toxic relationships. What do you do in that toxic relationship is inside of yourself and it doesn't have words. Just a feeling you're like, You know, you look at a big project, you have to go. No, that's what it was like.
spk_1: 29:17
And so what do you do with it?
spk_0: 29:19
Well, I got to apply the lessons that I had learned through martial arts and through self defense. First thing it doesn't work is fighting it. And I've done a lot of interviews and podcast interviews, and sometimes they'll say, tackling it, conquering it, Arianna Huffington wrote a wrote an article on me called Conquering your Inner Boli. And like conjuring is like a fight which could be exhausting. So really, it's an acceptance, and for me, it's like, Oh, hey, I am so not focusing here. I am totally distracted or I am binge watching television or I am afraid, and I don't even know what it is. So then you feel into it and you're a somatic dude. It's learning how to feel into a going okay, so apparently I have afraid about something or I am nervous about something or I'm fighting something. What's in there and actually having a curious mind, an open mind to go look and see and even just chat with the inter 1,000,000,000 go. I get it. When I did the Ted talk, Holy grabbed it. I have so much fear coming up. It's so many pieces. I wanted to get out and it was a memorized talk and I had slides. Producer. The crater was so supportive, but I was freaked out and to memorize 18 minutes and my inner Billy kept coming up, and I would just I I taught myself how to breathe through it. And one of the methods that I use is accounting breathing. So when your limbic system is sending out signals, it will decide if it's Ah, scary event. You will have adrenaline and cortisol and epinephrine and all kinds of really wonderful drugs to help you fight or flee, or if you need to freeze kind of knot is helpful, but you will freeze. So what I had to do was move my brain out of the limbic brain into the front rank in one of the best ways to do that is counting breathing. So I created this in power pause this power paws. And it was just a 321 or 123 breath hold for just a second and then give myself another kind thing to say. And for me, it was always like you got this. I got this. I knew this. And that helped me move out of that fight or flight. Because really, all you have to do is all you have to do. I say that like it's so easy is learn how to breathe through a response like that.
spk_1: 31:49
Is that something you had experience with in your previous, you know, before the accident, breathing through something. So you were drawing on something majority had experience with, but applying it in a somewhat different way.
spk_0: 32:01
Yes. So the antidote to adrenaline is breath. So when we teach self defense, we will often teach that it's important to learn how to breathe. Because if you don't learn how to breathe, you're not gonna be able thio, fight or flee. So when in self defense you breathe, we teach people to speak like say no or back off or leave me alone because then it's forcing breath. Well, When it's your own inner bully, you can't necessarily. You could talk to it. But what I can do is focus on breath, and it's really not as much. The inhale is is the exhale. He exhales. What relaxes our body? So accounting a 3 to 1 or 123 pause and then exhale. And on the Exhale, I'll say I got this. I got this. I can do this.
spk_1: 32:50
So you start doing these exercises, these breathing exercises, you're moving more into the cognitive side of things and sort of getting a handle on it again, trying to Where's your life go from there? What's happening now? And how far out are we from the accident? About two years out, You know,
spk_0: 33:07
Um, well, the Ted talk waas for Okay, accent. It was July 2014. Ted talk was April 2019 so that's actually for almost thought. Four and 1/2 years later. So all of this practice has been so I tried over 40 different healing modalities to try to get my brain back. I found some amazing technology. One was brain laser, where they actually help your brain regrow brain tissue. The only place in the world they do it is here in Colorado, so I did that. So it's a technology where they use a laser, a laser. Sorry, little awesome power, their light. And they are able to help stimulate regrowth brain regrowth. So usually what happens after a brain injury is that tissue is necrotic and dies off. What these two doctors in Colorado at neuro luminous have been able to figure out, is a way to use a Class four laser, too. Produce results and the results are actually regrowing nerve tissue. So for I started that in 2017 and I started regarding brain tissue, and it's almost like being a little kid. And when you have ah brainer When I had a brain injury, your entire sense of self is gone, because somewhere in your head is knowing who you are. And when you don't have that anymore, you're like, Oh, what? You're trying to figure out your skills again? I was trying to figure out my skills again. What was a good at? What could I still do? I kind of did the whole princess bride thing. There's a scene where Wesley's been dead, mostly dead all day. And he's like what we have among our assets. If we had a wheelbarrow, and for me, I still had a great sense of humor, a desire to help others to share and spread light. And I thought I was funny or I am funny. Yeah, All my the boulder and I could still put wisdom together. It could still put knowledge together. And I knew I was going to do something with that. I knew I was gonna do things with that. I just wasn't sure what they look like.
spk_1: 35:05
So you were basically your mind was completely deconstructed, at least the ego IQ ego, ex side of you. That's like, Oh, this is who you know, that external part that people see that you constructed inside, that your personality disappeared in this. And now you're, like, wondering who you are because you're definitely not. Whatever you were before that it's in terms of that ego X structure. So what is that? Is that pretty accurate?
spk_0: 35:32
Yeah. Um, and it's not. It is like you don't know who you are, but you don't know who you are to yourself. Like people would tell me who I was in the world to them, and I would be very clear that that was, too that like, Okay, I appreciate that. And there's a different level of all of my feedback of myself was gone.
spk_1: 35:53
So let's, you know, in Buddhism and meditation, they talk about developing the observer, mindful of the eternal side that's always there. That sort of watching, yes, where you were able to get in touch with that. Yeah, that's a lot of what we're talking about here, this sort of eternal peace. That's like watching disc in you to talk about that someone.
spk_0: 36:13
Um, yeah, the whole thing was about it. I mean, I was completely detached all the time, and I still have that with me. I am very care. Hi. Come across any more. I don't There's not a lot of people pleasing or I have zero guile. I can't flirt at all like there's no I'm only present. I am. I am present in this moment Thio This I There's not I can't really lie. I mean, I guess I could try, but it seems so worthless. It seems so exhausting. There's a feeling of I got to be honest. I mean, I slip in and out of it, too. I mean, I do get to ego and go No, that's not right. I should I should people that should I should be respected more When someone disrespects me, I I still get triggered, but it's a lot less. There's this feeling of not care. And I think that was part of feeling the essence of self, that all this other stuff is just what other people see or perception belief. So much of that is like fuzzy. So I guess I don't know if I'm answering your question. So there's one of
spk_1: 37:22
the reasons we create that egos to protect our identity, right? It's some like within the India Graham. There's this thing that there's like sort of nine different core wounds. Nine different personality types. We respond to something in the world or we come into the world with a certain something happens. There's a pain we seek to avoid. I'm I believe the world in my wounded place. I believe the world is out to get AMA type six, so the world's a dangerous place. I'm constantly looking out for where things can go wrong and I'm trying to mitigate them before they come into my sphere. So, um,
spk_0: 37:56
I'm in eight.
spk_1: 37:57
That's any urinate. So that's the challenger, the boss. The power just moves through so easily, and it's also there's a you know, eighths are centered in that entered or that anger area. A lot of anger and eights, a willingness to express it, have no problems accessing it, bringing it out, especially in the wounded part. There's like 10 different levels of each type. And as they hates rise up. They have these, you know, the higher values that come through with the higher, higher ways of being. So that you had that constructive personality basically taken away, disappeared. Now you're stuck with, um, not stuck with but you you're ending with a blank slate, a canvas to work with. In some ways,
spk_0: 38:42
I felt that way. Ah, lot. It was like this tabula rasa and I would have to. That's why I had to, like, take stock of what I know myself. What I still know about myself. I'm still funny. I think I'm buddy. I'm still light hearted. I still care about people you like that like I had to kind of get down to the base of who in the hell am I? Because it's all being it was all changed and it's all being recreated. So I started learning about neural plasticity. I do love habits because I gotta tell you, man, when you can't think and you have wrote habits and they're all gone, you have to recreate everything. Talk about the Okay, so you're not a girl. But if you were a girl, you get in the shower and you're used to do in the shower and you've got your systems and you, you know, shake things. At this time you do the washing in the shampoo, I would get the shower and I was looking out and go. What is all this crap for? Like, what is all this stuff? What am I doing? And I would wash half of my hair or, like, do it backwards condition and then wash. I would forget to shave one lad like there was so much that is automated memory, even coffee in the morning. I do bulletproof coffee. Oh, my God. There's, like, 18 steps. You got to get out. You have to have butter and cream and You know what I'm saying? Everything is steps. And when all the steps are gone, you're like, I don't know what to do. All this stuff, um, so use you. I learned how to start setting up steps again. It's still easy for me to get off track. Like, right now, I rebound in the morning for 20 minutes while I'm watching learning educational what they called online programs on you. You to me. So I am now in a 20 minute jumping cycle where it's working great. And I've been doing it for like, I don't even I can't tell you. I've been doing it for months and something could happen, and I could switch and go somewhere else. But I try to be very conscious of what habits I am doing the room forcing them.
spk_1: 40:35
So what else is going on in this reconstruction? Now, this blank canvas? What are you bringing to the canvas now? How much of it is u? Um saying I want to create this versus how much of this is something that I need just to get through survival. I mean, it's there. So many questions around that just
spk_0: 40:55
yeah, I have to think about what was important, and what is definitely important to me, like I am on a mission, is to help people create safety boundaries incredibly important to me. I'm actually a spokesperson for a brand new safety app. Ah tek app on the phone Call D bodyguard. And it's about offering people who, if they're walking alone or Faye whatever they can, they can just use a voice activated command. And the the APP will call 911 and send GPS, location, record audio and then video of the scene. And that helps me know that people can be safe because the police can't be everywhere at any time if you're in danger and most of the time a predator or someone who's who's trying to cause harm is they don't want to get caught so that app could help end sexual assault. I would love to see that, but I still teach self defense work because that's imperative is imperative for me to Pete. Teach people how to have their voice. And maybe it's the eight nous of me, but it's it's like helping people find their power. I have a trademark system called in power, where we stopped. I teach people how to stop putting their power outside of themselves. Jobs. People accepted money, success and what it looks like. Somatic Lee to take it inside and then create a difference from that perspective.
spk_1: 42:16
So talk about that process. What do you do? What does it What do you do and what are sort of the internal shifts that people have? What What do they feel? What? What do they have to do to maybe let go the way they used to do it so that their space for this new way to
spk_0: 42:31
practice and we are either giving our power away or were owning our power pretty much. Sometimes the only way to know which you're doing is how you feel if you're confused, frustrated, angry, upset, unclear infighter flight. Typically something else externally has your power. And I'm not even talking about a human being I am talking about. Wow, the economy. I can't do anything with it, or I could have given my power over to my brain injury. Do you want to know how many times I had to choose myself over? Well, I just have a TV I and that's just who I am. I had to continually choose my own power, and that looks like going within getting grounded, making choices from the inside out, not making traces out of fear or scarcity. You're our inner power. To me is the inner and hair inherent innate power that we've all got. And when we can make choices from that position, we get better results in our lives. And the best way to know you're in power is your inflow. You feel it. It's just this calm Peacefulness. It's this observant mind. It's all of that. When you're out of power is when we're spinning and unhappy or struggling. Something else is. It's got power. Could you
spk_1: 43:56
describe maybe an exercise? It would be very simple for people to do, like as they're listening to this or when they're listening to, they're not driving the car.
spk_0: 44:05
Yeah, I would ask that people think about something that is frustrating them right now. The biggest frustration. It's funny because that's how we find our power is by what's not working, and I wish it was different, but it's not so what's not working and look at what? What's the biggest frustration that I have right now. And is this a frustration based on my purpose? Is this a frustration based on an external event? Am I making choices from inside or my making choices from outside? Unexamined That'll give you is at one point I had mice. I live near open space, so sometimes animals and I had mice and they freaked me out. So I was trying all of the devices and all of the things. But here's what else is sort of doing eating out all the time. I didn't want to eat here because I was afraid I would get more mice. So I spent so much money eating out for a month. So who was winning in that situation? The mice were So I call the exterminator and ends up being like $89 for three visits versus how much money was spending eating out because I didn't want the mice to get made. And it's something simple like that. I mean, it's those decisions that we make. I don't wanna go outside because it's raining Well, then the rain wins. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like What's frustrating you right now about yourself? What is something that you wish you could change. And is that coming from something externally given examples, anything you're willing to share? Mmm. Okay, if you want to know your any
spk_1: 45:38
question, you're putting me on the spot here. Um ah, No, that's that's good. It's a good question. Um, I actually get pretty friends politically. I get pretty frustrated with what's going on online. Um, one of the big things I have is I like to see truth in information. And when I see the way right, you know, things get politicized, it's spun. You know, people reconnect scissors, that spinning things. People buy into it like there's this the Corona virus targeted
spk_0: 46:07
response to it.
spk_1: 46:08
And, oh, God, I think there's, um, a rumor that's actually getting traction. In fact, I just posted it. There's three things coming together here. The Chinese have been given, man. So this is a construct, right? And this is pisses me off. When I see stuff like this on, I just hit my head and go. Come on, people pay attention. It's a combination of ah Chinese. Given mandatory vaccinations, that air replicated their digitized. They interact really dust that was spread out through Kem trails right that we've been breathing in over the years. And then they get activated by turning on five G. You know, the new wireless spectrum and I and of course, on that Princess Diamond Princess Cruise specifically equipped to make this happen. Right? And I just read this and people buy into It's like so my backgrounds journalism. I really like Truman like, Let's deal with what is I evidence based? I don't know. I had my own journey with glaucoma and people coming up with all these different miracle cures. And I kind of bought it. Yeah, same sort of. You know, it's a different thing, but same sort of things are happening. So drink this. Try that. That that none of it were.
spk_0: 47:22
That's exactly what I was thinking. I didn't want t. O. And I do like BBDO, You know, it does that a lot. I found some great stuff. Yeah, okay. It's true truth, but truth, Yes.
spk_1: 47:35
So what? I've been true? Yes, truth.
spk_0: 47:38
So when your power is on the political, when your focus is on the political, can you do anything about it?
spk_1: 47:45
So what I do is like to deconstruct things every like this particular one about the virus and all of that. I I put it up on my Facebook timeline, said, like, folks, this is what's going around now, like seriously, we've got bigger issues, so I'll give it, you know, get it up line, get discussions going good. And this one took right off. I've got what, um, 20 comments honored at this point, nice and growing. I'm sure there'll be 100 so that at least get the conversation going. But, yeah, it's probably in an echo chamber, for the most part, so
spk_0: 48:21
but it's not
spk_1: 48:22
better move,
spk_0: 48:23
and that's what I would. Based on this conversation, your power would be out if you were concentrating on what others were doing. And if you were like, Ah, people suck whatever that's that's out of your power by saying I'm gonna open a truth discussion, I'm gonna do what I can do that's in power. That is you taking your empower. All of us have dislikes. It's just Do we do something about it, or do we just complain? Complaining is disempowering. Blaming is disempowering. You've made a conscious choice that's empower. So okay, does that make sense. Do you understand the distinction? It
spk_1: 49:05
does, actually, Yeah, Yeah,
spk_0: 49:07
s Oh, it's
spk_1: 49:07
doing something for the burger.
spk_0: 49:09
Do it's doing something for the betterment of, even if something is driving you nuts, it is creating a solution from an inside you. And even if it's based on an external event, you are creating conversation. You're creating openness you're creating. These are all good things.
spk_1: 49:25
So somewhat related question. But going off in a little bit of a turn here, what informed? I guess the 1st 1 would be what is your North star? And you have discussed that a bit power. But what? You have power empowering, empowering others. But what informs you when you want? You know that you're on course when you're in the flow, what do you feel? What do you sense what's going on in your mind, your body that you know what I mean?
spk_0: 49:54
So for me, it is a feeling of peaceful energy, and I enjoy the feeling of excitement as much as the next person. But sometimes that will blow my circuits. So if I have a really exciting thing happen, then I have to take a nap so embarrassing. But it's true. I love that calm, peaceful energy of getting something done. I still love the feeling of accomplishment I don't get to accomplish is many things. I mean, I'll feel proud of us when we finish this podcast. I make sure to celebrate myself as often as possible, and my celebration is literally like I did it, which I will do after this podcast. I'll be like, Yes, we did it. My North star is finding that inner power, that breath, that our bodies and our minds create a lot of resistance and when we are out of resistance, were in the flow and that I can feel the resistance. I teach boxing and kickboxing now, and I teach my clients. My students howto drop their shoulders and not live like this. So it's getting into the ground and part of your body, getting things done because we can't all sit on mountain tops and home. But it's that peaceful feeling. I have a side note. Can I share it with you before? So one of the things I was also shown at some time during my healing was the work I'd already read. David Hawkins, Stuff on Power versus Force. But I was guided to re read it, and I was also shown like a feelings scale. And some feelings fall into a category where they're constructive. Their energy taking and other feelings go into energy, giving compassion light, etcetera. Well, I was given a definition for enlightenment that I'd love to share with. You
spk_1: 51:37
Go for it.
spk_0: 51:38
I was sad. Enlightenment Was the guy on the rock meditating or the cave right? But here's the Here's the definition I was given enlightenment is learning how to detach from triggers, detach from desired outcome or outcome and not take things personally. And it's a moment by moment phenomena. It's not a place we get two in every moment. If I'm triggered, I have the opportunity to go. Okay? Do I want this? Is the serving me? Is this informing me et cetera. So releasing triggers. Releasing, uh, what's it called Attachment outcome and then releasing taking it ago. A clear person personally, and that's cool. Enlightenment is in light, enlightened, enlighten lightning, everything of him. And they showed me that I've shown that I was like, Ah, cool on an aim for that.
spk_1: 52:29
I remember a quote. I liked about enlightenment. It was, I think, was David Pond, who's an author. And it goes, Lighten up, lighten up, lighten up until your enlightened.
spk_0: 52:41
Yeah, I like that. I like that. And I think Don Miguel Ruiz did the four agreements which I think are definitely very, very powerful. And I like I like so much of things I'd seen from other try not to get too much input anymore from others. I think I was maybe addicted to learning about other people's work. And I don't want that anymore. I want to create from my inside out. But yeah, lighten up. As
spk_1: 53:07
we're coming to the end on this, what are some of the big takeaways you have now? Looking back across your life, What do you have gratitude for in this journey? And what are your Big three takeaways?
spk_0: 53:19
I have gratitude for completely changing. I don't think that we're broken. I think we're broken open. I'm very grad. Grateful for that. I was broken open to new ways of thinking and being the accident was a blessing. I retired from martial arts, and I don't think I would have done that without the accident. So I'm grateful for that. The three big takeaways are learned how to celebrate even the little things I didn't celebrate, even making a difference for other people. And I'm I've learned how to do that. My goal used to be I most motivated inspire one million people. Now, my goal is I want to have a positive impact on one person today because I could do that. It doesn't matter. A soul is a soul. So I make the impact create the difference that you could make 1% of the time. And the last take away from the accident is it's really the power of light, light heartedness, enlightenment, laughing, not taking us or life. Seriously. It's like we are that floating light being on that.
spk_1: 54:21
Okay. Anything else you'd like to add?
spk_0: 54:23
I just want to say that to me. Resilience is something that every single one of us have. I have. It has been said to me mail. It could never go through what you went through. And I think that's crap. You could totally do it. You would just do it your way. And I'm not special. I'm unique. All of us are unique. My special. We all have very similar equipment. It's what we choose to do with it. So resilience is all about you knowing that you can get past something. And here's my other favorite thing about the word resilience in the middle of the word resilience is silly. Okay, that's high Resilience, however, remind myself to spell residents. Are e s I l i breezily it's recently
spk_1: 55:06
really silly. Okay, If people want to learn more about you work and they go for information.
spk_0: 55:13
Theresa burn dot com Is my website
spk_1: 55:15
spell out? Yeah. Spell that out.
spk_0: 55:17
Sure. Theresa T h e R e s a last name burn b y r n e dot com. They also highly suggest e bodyguard dot or GE slash protector Siri's because that's the Siri's of wellness and protective APs that are programs that were teaching.
spk_1: 55:37
Okay, Anything else? What's the name of your book or where? How would they find your Ted X talk?
spk_0: 55:43
It's called the Date Danger of the Inner Bully.
spk_1: 55:45
Okay. Bye. Theresa Burn and ah, is it on your website?
spk_0: 55:48
It is on my website, and it's also on ted dot com or ted x dot com. Just look up. Search do a search on Inner Bully, and it's the only one.
spk_1: 55:57
Okay, Teresa. Thank you so much for your time,
spk_0: 56:00
Doug. Thank you. I appreciate your friendship and have always appreciated your insight, your wisdom and the in depth questions. I forgot you were journalists. Now your questions make so much more sense.