Processing the Loss of My Dad (Pastor Jeff Leake)

Processing the sudden loss of a parent is never easy—especially when that parent is also your pastor, mentor, and spiritual hero. 

In this raw and unfiltered episode, Dave Leake shares his journey just days after the unexpected passing of his dad, Pastor Jeff Leake, unpacking grief, shock, the five stages of grief, and how to cling to hope, legacy, and faith in Jesus in the middle of tragedy. 

If you’re navigating grief, loss of a father, or trying to understand how to process sorrow as a Christian leader, this honest conversation will help you grieve well while still moving forward in God’s purpose.

LinkTree:
https://linktr.ee/AllisonParkLeadershipNetwork
Email:
Jeffl@allisonparkchurch.com
Davel@allisonparkchurch.com
Instagram:
@Jeffleake11
@Dave.Leake

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to rethink, revive. This was formerly the Allison Park leadership podcast. We recently rebranded, and this is a very strange episode for me, because for the first time in six years, I'm podcasting without my dad. My dad, Pastor Jeff Leake, tragically passed away from a heart attack this past Saturday as a time of recording on January, February, excuse me, seventh. And so this is very new and recent, and in some ways, you know, maybe you're wondering this too, is this a little bit too soon to be recording a podcast after but I've had this on my heart that I think this is actually an appropriate way to process, not just for me, but hopefully for for you. I know many people were very close to him. You loved him. You respected and listened to his voice for years. And for me, the reality is now I live in Florida. You know, I moved in October after being on staff you for 12 years, I moved down to Florida to begin the process of planting a church, which will open in September of 26 and this is probably my last ever chance to do a podcast like this, here in this studio where, for six years I did, you know, I don't even know how many hours, maybe almost 100 hours or more of conversations that will last me a lifetime. You know, they were deeply meaningful, deeply personal. Often, they had unexpected twists and turns, and I felt like I had the opportunity to sit down with this fountain of wisdom pick his brain. I'll miss those and so, you know, for me, I was thinking about this, it feels just like an appropriate metaphor to have this empty seat here beside me. In the near future, I'll introduce a new co host, but for now, I want to leave the empty seat for the vacancy that Pastor Jeff left for me as a dad, and for many as a pastor and as a voice. And I want to have the opportunity to process. So let me just be honest. This is probably not unexpected to hear me say this, but this is live processing. I mean, we're four days in for me, this will be emotional. It may wander at times, but my hope is that it will let me and you, whoever you are listening to, process together to reflect on his life. We'll probably spend a few episodes, you know, once I have a new co host, we'll spend a few episodes doing more lessons and reflections and thoughts and, you know, things in honor of his memory. But, you know, one of the things that I feel like was passed on to me as a part of the legacy of my dad was this podcast. It's not just a personal thing. I believe he, you know, he was famous for saying it's, you know, it's not so much about what you do in life, but about what you set into motion. And I mean, he set me into motion in many ways. One of the things that he set into motion was this podcast, and it was a way that, you know, he had a platform to speak on things that he wouldn't normally say in a weekend. In fact, I have, like, some great memories where I'd be able to push my dad to say some things that I was like, not expecting him to say, but it was so good to hear him say those things for many people, it was healing and clarifying and enlightening. So in his honor, and to continue on just one small piece of the legacy that was left by Pastor, Jeff Leake, we will continue the rethink, revive podcast, and we'll move on from here, but this is a good starting point, so let's jump in. If you, if you don't really know, maybe you're you're hearing this for the first time, or maybe you don't know a whole lot about the circumstances. My dad passed away sometime around 945 on Saturday, January 7, and for me, it was a wildly surreal experience. He had just finished preaching the Saturday night service at Allison Park church. He got off the stage after doing communion. This is what I understand. I wasn't there. He went back to the Salvation station, little corner where people had just gotten saved. He had been starting to feel some of the pain of what would become the heart attack. But he, like a champ. He, you know, carried on his duty. And then he went to lay down in a little back green room and had some, some massive pain. So the medical team came. They did an admirable job. They, you know, started doing chest compressions. And what's crazy is, you know, I missed a call. I was, I was in Florida. We had a friend recently moved there, that's going to help us plant this church, salt church that I mentioned earlier. And so we were, I was just spending some time with this friend over dinner. Gilbert Ackerman, you know, many of you know him, very thankful to have. In my life, and there, in this moment, because I missed a call from my mom, called her back, and she was just like, hey, Dave, this is really serious, but your dad was just rushed to the hospital. You know, in an ambulance. They had him on a stretcher. So be praying. Got that call at about 745 things seemed like they were looking good, and then out of nowhere, he flat lined, and they weren't able to get his pulse back, and he passed away. And I mean, it was the biggest gut punch for me, as I'm sure it was for many of you. You know, he was 61 what's wild is about five years ago, I did a podcast with my dad about my grandpa passing, and he was 81 so this was, I mean, for me, I thought it was 1520, years or more, too soon. I mean, he had been planning, you know, he had been praying that he would live till 87 we had just launched into this new era at Allison Park church that he felt like God gave him, which was called four years of faith. And Pastor Brad leach preached this really great message on Sunday morning on February 8. You can go look that up if you'd like to. And it was all about Mary and Martha and grief and how Jesus is the resurrection man. Pastor Brad and Leah are huge blessings to us, and I've ministering to my family, yeah, but we had just processed five years ago this this episode of how to deal with grief over the passing of my grandpa. It's really surreal to think that since the start of this podcast, which would have been, I think, November of 2019 not only you know, do I have to process, Man, it's going to hit me. Now. Excuse me, I Yeah, wow. Grief is a weird thing. You know, it's been like shock, and I think I haven't had to, I haven't had a chance for it to fully hit me yet. So kind of itching waves. But, you know, we processed the loss of my grandpa leek, and now here I am doing my dad. It's a heavy thing, but I'm very, very, very thankful to have had the time that I had with him. You know, one of the really cool things has been just to see the response that's kind of been, you know, given to him, both locally and nationally and even internationally. He really made a massive impact, not just here in Pittsburgh, but on the world. He pastored in at Allison Park church for, I think, about 35 years. So I'm 35 now. Just turned 35 in the beginning of February, and my dad took over as the interim pastor. I think very shortly after. I think it might have been that same week. Hold on. I wanted to share something with you, if I can find it. Here we go. And there was a really beautiful obituary that was written by the pendell district from the Assembly of God that we're a part of. So let me just read this. You know, let's, let's sort of just do the whole processing through what actually happened, and then we can move on from here. So here's what the obituary said. Jeffrey S Leake, 61 was ushered into the arms of Jesus on Saturday evening, February 7, shortly after preaching his final message. Jeff was born in Erie, Pennsylvania. While his parents were pastoring mosgrove Assembly of God in tyroneville, PA. He later attended Evangel University, parenthesis central Bible College. It was, it was CBC at the time, that was also my alma mater and the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary, Jeff began serving in ministry during his high school and college years. He became a licensed minister with the Assemblies of God in 1988 and was ordained in 1991 while in college, he completed his internship at Allison Park church and was later added to the staff, serving under Pastor Ron Bailey. Jeff faithfully served as the lead pastor of APC Allison Partridge for more than 35 years, carrying on a true shepherd's heart. He was the author of more than five books, and played a significant role in church planting, helping to establish over 30 new churches. During the past 20 years, within the penndel ministry network and beyond, many of these churches that have reproduced, resulting in a movement of well over 100 new churches. Jeff also served as the mentor, mentored in numerous pastors, and was deeply loved by many as a general in the faith. Jeff and his wife, Melody, been married for more than 38 years together. They raised five children and were blessed. It says seven, but it was actually with 1010, grand, 10 grandchildren, and we're also due with the 11th here in May. It's really beautiful. Some, some quick thoughts. We can we can go into a lot more again, I said this might be wondering, hopefully you can stick with me. I'm not sure where this episode will go or what it will hold, but we can talk through this together. Says he was ordained in 1991 one of the really beautiful things that I can see, as I sort of look at God's timing with all this, is that, you know, God really did give us the ability to wrap up some chapters and have some special moments together. I i started ministry at Allison Park church December of 2013 and I believe it's after two, two years of full time ministry, that there's the opportunity to become ordained, and I just been dragging my feet honestly and putting it off. It's not like there's, you know, different access, or whatever that you get from being ordained, but it's a powerful moment where you're, you know, ordained by our district, and, you know, by prayed over by a pastor and commissioned by God. And so, you know, I guess it was September of 24 I had a conversation with my dad where he challenged me to pray about stepping out and taking over or starting a church. That was just how he was. You know, it wasn't really the most convenient season to lose. Probably me from APC. I was, maybe I don't, I don't want to overestimate my own importance, but I was a campus pastor and on a sort of pseudo type of executive team and making major decisions. And I was leading our, our Allison Park Leadership Academy. And I was like, Dad, I'm not sure this is a good time you have. You know, seven years at the time, left on Allison Park church in your transition plan. But he was the most you know, open hearted, open handed person that I've ever met. In fact, one of his life verses is Matthew 633 seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all this will be added to you as well. And so with that mentality, he kind of kicked me out of the nest, and that's what began the journey that ultimately landed us just south of Jacksonville, Florida, in the St John's area, getting ready to plant this church. But this past April, I think it was finally I got around to driving out, to reading Pennsylvania and to getting Ordained with the Assemblies of God. And it was a beautiful moment. I got to go to the front at the end with my wife, Sarah, and there, you know, with my mom, my dad laid hands on us. And man, it was, it was powerful. I recorded it. I need to listen to it again now. But you know, he blessed us and prophesied and, yeah, commissioned us into the legacy that God has for us. And that's one of the things that I'm very thankful of the Lord for giving that opportunity. Sorry, I'm probably going to be a blubbering mess through some of this, but so that was beautiful, you know, to think about this, another moment that I'm very thankful for is that right before we left to go down to Florida, we had a chance to have my dad dedicate our two sons, James and Johnny, on stage at Allison Park church, alongside of our best friends, Jordan Alicia Clarke. And that was beautiful. I mean, got to stand there together and have God, you know, have my dad bless our kids together. There's a lot of these little moments here and there that I can see. Like, I'm very thankful to God for giving us closure in some of these ways. I think sometimes, you know, with with tragic passings, like with what happened with my dad, there's a sense of of regret. Like, Man, I really wish I would have had the chance to say this or to do this, but at least right now, I just feel so much gratitude. I had an amazing 35 years with my dad, but the time on staff here was was great. I had a beautiful relationship with him. I. Go over to his house, you know, for for decades, to watch the Pittsburgh Steelers games, to watch almost every Chelsea Football Club, you know, soccer game with him. And I really feel like, you know, although I would have loved to have more years, the time we had was special, and I know we touched many of you that are listening as well. Many of you have memories and you know deep moments where God touched your life and maybe spoke to you through his messages or through his prayers or through his hospital visits or what have you. He was, he was a man of God, and one that I'm honored to have his name and to carry that forward. So here was, here was kind of my thought. We did this episode again. I think it was about five years ago. The let's see the episode. Pull this up if I can. Was called moving forward through traumatic moments. We could link this episode here in the description, so that you can look at it here. But we released this October 20, 2021 I believe so a little less than five years ago now, and I was just listening to this, I just got a haircut. I needed a haircut. Just got a haircut right before I came here. Drove straight here after, and I was listening to this episode, and, man, it's like it was, I mean, it's beautiful. It's sort of a butt kicker, because he was saying things that were for, you know, for me right here and now. And I figure that it might be helpful to talk through some of this, some of what we talked through almost five years ago, but now here on the back end, with him, at the time we were still the Allison Park leadership podcast, we just sort of recently transitioned to become, rethink, revive. That had been something my dad was talking about doing for years. You know, one of the things he would always say is, we need another aliens episode. We did, like, some light hearted episodes on what it would mean if aliens were real. And he would talk about one to do another one of those kind of episodes. He also would say, you know, we're gonna rebrand soon, like, at some point, we're gonna have a new name for you. If you have an idea, you could suggest it. And so this is finally where we landed. It took us a long time to get there, but again, at the time, this was the Allison spark leadership podcast, and you know, we were focusing more on leadership at the time, and this was sort of on how leaders can process grief and move forward. And he described throughout this episode, another tragic death that happened in our APC family, which was the passing of Pastor Bruce Edwards, who was on staff here for a long time. In fact, it's, you know, Pastor Brad Leach's father in law, Pastor Leah's dad. He was a huge voice on staff here for a long time, and my dad talked a lot about how he had to learn how to process through grief. In that season, we were reflecting, of course, on my grandpa, James leak passing, and he had passed somewhat recently, I think, anyway, at the time. But we were also reflecting on Bruce, and he described the story, you know, how there was a while where it was just like bottled up, you know, he thought he was fine. He didn't want to look like, you quote, a blubbering fool, which is kind of what I feel like I'm doing here now, but in front of everybody, and so he bottled it up, and he he led the church through everything, and pastored and shepherded, you know, beautifully, but at some point, you know, you got to process through things, because grief is not something you can bottle up. He described it like a volcano. It exploded out of him in February. I'm not sure of when that would have been February of 2012, maybe. And he called pastor Colin. He was my youth pastor, one of my mentors, and he was on staff at the time. He called pastor Cullen and said, I'm going to be out for a few weeks because I have to process what I've been neglecting to process and deal with the grief, and I want to just say, as a sort of a side note, that's part of what this is an attempt to do, maybe in a more raw way. And I'm sure that I could have done this more cleanly at a future date, but there are some moments that are too significant to pass up. And I felt like it that this is a good way to honor my dad, to do it right here where he would have been sitting, you know, on this couch beside this empty seat. So let's, let's talk about this, my dad. You know, my dad and I had this whole conversation. You can listen. Do it again, if you'd like to about how to process through grief. And then he talked about the, the five stages of grief that, you know, I think we're, I think it's Diana Cooper Ross who put this out. I might be getting that name wrong, with denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. And we, he talked about, sort of his, his way to process that, that for a long time, he was just in the stage of denial. Frankly, if I can be honest, that's probably where I am right now. Maybe that's where you are too. It just doesn't feel real. There are moments when it hits me, you know, like a sledgehammer. It's just in the gut all of a sudden, and it's like, whoa. I was. My parents have this big, huge, I don't even know how big it must be. It's probably a six foot, maybe by eight foot map of the world that's on their wall, and their basement kind of covers, you know, the majority of this portion of the wall. And they have these little pins, they're orange and yellow with little flags on them of where they both been. And they have these photos, little Polaroid pictures. Often. They have both my dad and my mom in them, where they what they were in the world, Indonesia and Israel and Panama and Italy and all these different photos. Photos, them on the beach and the mountain is in the snow, and, you know, on a bridge in London in front of Stanford Bridge, which is where the stadium where Chelsea plays, that hit me there a couple days ago. We flew back in on Sunday, you know, evening, and I don't know what it would have been Monday morning or Tuesday morning. I guess Monday, probably this week. I was just down there in the basement, and I just, you know, my three year old son was there playing with some cars, and I was sobbing. It's like it broke through this wall of denial that I have up even right now. You know, it doesn't feel real. Maybe that's maybe that's where you are right now. It's hard to believe. It's hard to take in, and just to echo what my dad said five years ago, you know, grief is not a bad thing. This is an emotion that God gave to us. It's healthy to process grief. It's not wrong to be in denial for a season. You there's really no productive way to push past grief. You know, you can't speed up through it. You can't slow down like you don't want to just stay in it forever and wallow in it, but you also can't just be fine and go past it. You can't really dodge it side to side. It's just grief takes its toll at its time. And right now for me, it's the denial phase. I bet you next week, when I'm in Florida, it will, you know, be some of that, but mixed with some more real gut punch kind of stuff. But if that's where you are, and you're listening and maybe, you know, you can't even have tears right now. Maybe it's just numbness. Maybe it's just, it's not even reality. How could pastor Jeff possibly have passed away, you know, six years before his transition plan, at the beginning of the four years of faith? How could that? How could it be possible that's a, that's, a normal, healthy, God given way to process grief. And I'm taking full permission to feel some of that, and I hope you can as well. You know, before we even get into the five stages, grief shows just the impact of loss that there was someone that we loved deeply, that there was someone worth loving that deeply. So denial is that first stage, then then, then you move on to anger. And, you know, I've sort of studied this, and it doesn't always go linearly. It's not always denial to anger, to bargaining, to depression, to acceptance. It can sort of go back and forth. You can skip stages, you can be you can cycle or spin or whatever. But this is just the way it's laid out. You know, there's anger, and I haven't really felt that yet. I bet you I will at some point. Maybe that's where you are. It's just like, How could God possibly let this happen? Or or whatever it could be, anger at yourself for not saying what you wanted to say, or taking advantage of the moments you had, or whatever. Anger is a part of grieving. And then there's bargaining. Bargaining is, Man, if only I would have, if only I could have, it should have been different. And, you know, it's, it's, it's this theory playground in your mind, of regret, of, you know, I really wish. This or that, you know, I think it can be bargaining like God, you know, I'll, I'll do this differently for the rest of my life, if only you'll bring him back. And it's not always logical, or it can be just, you know, bargaining with yourself. I don't know you can look into this more. I'm probably not doing the best job explaining it in the state I'm in now. Bargaining is a part of grief, then depression, you know, where it just settles in and it's just like, Man, this sucks, and it does, man, for a person like my dad, Jeff leak, who was still doing so much for the kingdom of God to pass away in this season, this suddenly is just, it stinks. It's horrible. And I don't think that it's a bad thing at all to reckon with that. I do think, as a side note, one of the surreal things to me about it is it's like it's odd, because really, if you think about it, we're not really grieving for Pastor Jeff or my dad. We're really grieving for us, and that's okay. I know that right now he's in heaven. You know, we talk about this in the Christian circles as being a promotion, that he is in a much better place, and not just figuratively. I mean, he's literally with Jesus. You know, I'm not sure what they're doing, but you know, it's, it's, it's, it's Brightest Day, and you know, there's no sorrow. And you know, I don't think he's sad to be there. There's no grief where he is. And the beautiful thing is that someday, that I'll be with him, and that if you've accepted Jesus as your savior, if you've repented of your sin and are following the Lord, that someday you'll be resurrected in a new body, that you'll be with him as well, that will get to celebrate what the Lord has done and understand His timing better. We'll see him again someday. But this part of grief, depression, of just reckoning with how bad this stinks. It's a part of it, because, you know, he won't be preaching this week. I'll never have the chance to do another podcast with him. Let's just go for it. You know. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that I for me personally, like my daughter's gonna be born, you know, God willing, everything happens the way it should. May 23 of this year, 2026 man that stinks that my dad's never going to meet her, or at least in this life. You know, holidays will be tough for us, personally as a family this Christmas, and I'm sure for Allison Park church not having him this year. For, you know, wonder of 2026 that's going to be hard. That's a part of grief, but it's it's okay, and it's good to process this and feel this, and then eventually, on the other, on the other side of all this, there's acceptance, there's hope. You know, there's this reality that, that I was just mentioning, that we are going to see him again someday. But even beyond just that, that there's hope, there's a legacy that he began. You know, that he did seek first, God's kingdom and his righteousness, and that we're seeing the fruits of the seeds that he sowed, even now, one of my best friends I just mentioned him earlier, Jordan Clare. He's He's the Chi Alpha director of the University of Pittsburgh. He preached a message at what he calls large group. And it's like this once a month gathering of these college students at the University of Pittsburgh, and he preached about my dad and his legacy, and 25 people came to Christ. That's part of my dad's legacy. You know, that's part of acceptance, that's part of the hope that we have. And I think, I guess, from a grief perspective, acceptance is, is, you know, being thankful for the good and the bad. It's the grief, but mixed with the joy, mixed with the memories, mix it with the warm hugs. And I think it's hard, but you accept it, and you take what's good and you move on. And there is so much good. I am so thankful for the time that I had with my dad, and I hope that you are as well. Whether it was real up close or it's from a from afar, i. Um, what a gift he was. The other thing that it is probably worth listening to if you ever want to re listen to that episode like I did today, we talked a lot about the different pitfalls that you can get stuck with in those stages of grief, because you can't stay there forever. It's okay to it's okay to be there for a bit, but you have to process, process through them at some point. And if we don't then, then we can, you know, have our lives held back again. Don't feel any pressure right now to move forward through this and feel like I gotta be productive and and push forward, or also be stuck that that's not the goal of what I'm trying to say. But there's wisdom that he had in the reality that it's healthy to realize that a part of a part of healthy processing of grief, and a part of carrying on his legacy forward, is dealing with the sadness, going through the stages, allowing yourself to have time, to have space, not just to always floor it, pedal the metal, if you're leading a church, if you're leading a family, and you feel like you got to be strong. That's part of how I feel if I'm being real. You know, being vulnerable here, it's okay to buckle up and, you know, to be strong, to broaden your chest for a season, but you'll need to process in order to move forward and not stay stuck in any one of those four, you know, before acceptance, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then for us to finally land there, at acceptance, to carry forward the legacy. One of the things that's sort of weird for me, I'm sure I'll process this with you guys in future episodes, is, you know, reflecting now I have to be the one that has takes. I'm not sure if you guys have listened, you know, if you've noticed this and listening, but one of the things that's been such a blessing to me is that throughout this whole six year journey, six plus year of doing podcasts with my dad, whenever there'd be a sensitive topic or a tough topic, I could, I could be, you know, I could just say stuff, you know what I mean? Because I was, I was the Junior, you know, I, I had the protective, shielding and covering of my dad. He had the perfect tone to balance things so pastoral, unifying, you know, he was not partisan in politics with Republican or Democrat, he would not be too harsh, but he would speak the truth. Often. I could probe him and poke him to say things that were more direct and that needed to be said. And, you know, if you sort of like guy did follow closely the trajectory of his voice, he became more and more clear and more, you know, a beacon of truth. He always was, don't get me wrong, and I'm so thankful, but I think the boldness came out more and more over the last few years. But there was always for me, this, this ability that he was, you know, to recognize he was a sort of a shelter. He was a covering. If I got a scripture reference wrong, he knew it immediately. Some of you saw that. That's kind of embarrassing. You know, where I'd miss something I I, you know, he'd immediately know, no, no, that wasn't Paul that said That's Peter, or vice versa. And now, you know, there's this phase I find myself in where, you know, for me, I'm the oldest male pastor. Leek, and that's different. But even through grief, even as I process this, I am looking forward. I'm holding on to the hope of of what he established, the platform that that he set all of us up on, I don't mean platform as in a voice. I just mean he left us in a good place. He left Allison Park church in a great place. Allison Park church had just paid off all of its debt. Wow. Like that's another sign of God's providence. He had launched all of these churches out. Brad leach talked about how he was the very first church plant of the new wave of this 100 church vision that my dad had in 2011 and to the best of my knowledge, what's really weird is I'm the last I'm in a church plant cohort that my dad had been leading. And there was five of us, I think if I'm remember remembering correctly, Ryan and Jasmine kick, planting somewhere near Carnegie, Pa Colin, Robinson, planting in Manhattan, New York, Dustin kype, I think is how you say his last name in Shippensburg. J. Gardner, Damon and Bethy planting in Plum burrow, and then us planting September 20. I think we're the very last one, just in terms of the chronology of when people are planting churches, we're planting salt church, St John's, Florida, September 20 of 2026 you know, Brad was the first, in one way, I'm the last. I'm so thankful for that. I have great hope in what my dad started, in the legacy. And listen, if you're if you're listening to this, I believe that he would have wanted for you to accept whatever God has for you next. I believe that moments like this sometimes are a springboard. You know, they're a launching pad. You know, to decide and make a decision, I'm going to take what the Lord has assigned me, and I'm going to take that step of faith and courage. And maybe you've been listening to this podcast for years, and you have always had this thing in the back of your mind, I'm supposed to plant a church, I'm supposed to become a missionary, I'm supposed to start a business, I'm supposed to invest a million dollars into the kingdom of God, or whatever it is, move around, or are supposed to have that difficult conversation with a relative, to forgive them, or to share my faith, whatever it is. And you've been like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think part of the legacy of Jeff Leake that can spur us on moments like this is it's just to say, Okay, it's my time now to do whatever it is God's asking me to do. I'm thankful for that place that my dad has left all of us in, which feels like, you know, I'll say, at least for me, I'm ready to take forward what he started. It's not literal in terms of Allison Park church, because I'm not at Allison Park church now. But, you know, I feel like he's passed the torch to me, and I'm ready to take that, and for so many people, in a less direct way, he's passed your torch to you. And man, that is an amazing thing that God has for us. You know, I believe there are brighter days ahead. This is a dark season now of grief and of loss and of mourning, but I believe that God gave us an amazing gift, and that part of the gift is this beckoning call to step forward in the same footsteps that he left for us. I'm thankful for that, and I'm thankful for a good God who is with us, you know, for the Holy Spirit, who is our comforter, for Jesus, who is with the brokenhearted, and who who weeps for those who weep. Thankful for a loving God who surrounds us in this moment, and if you are having a really difficult time right now, I just pray that the God of all peace and comfort would wrap his arms around you. I had a touching moment in the car as I was driving. Okay, so this might make me break down. I don't think it will, but I just want to share it. I was driving back from the haircut that I just got in my dad's cheap because we didn't have a car here, so we put two car seats in the back of my dad's sheep that my wife and I can drive around in. And I was driving, you know, by myself, obviously listening to this podcast, and he had just at the end of this in processing grief and trauma, one of the things he encouraged was to sing songs of worship to God that declare truths that we need to hear to our souls about how good God is, because he is truly an amazing God. He is loving, He's wonderful, he's kind, you know? He is a good God. And he talked about how he encouraged us to sing songs like it is well with my soul. So just like an hour ago, I was choking my way through singing, you know, it is well with my soul, maybe that's what you need to do today, is to sing through songs like that, because, you know, we need to remind ourselves of the truth of God's goodness, and it's going to be okay. You know, there is a there is a hope forward for all of us, not just in heaven, but I mean, there's a hope that's for the coming days. My dad, I remember him talking about this a lot. I don't know if we talked about this in a podcast much, but I. I would talk to my dad, like, man, how are you? How are you doing in this, in this hard season, when there was hard seasons that we'd go through together, there were many. And he, you know, he often would say to me, you know, Dave, like, this is just what life is. It's a mixed bag. It's never all bad. It's never all good. Life has always got grief and it's always got joy, and you have to choose to grieve when you need to and to take joy when there's moments of joy to be grateful for the times we've had. And this is the most mixed bag possible year for me, honestly, personally, maybe it's like that for you. This year in 2026 I start off by grieving the loss of my dad. I'm going to celebrate the birth of my daughter in May, and then we launch a church and carry on the legacy of my dad in September. I mean, who knows what else is going to happen, but it's like some of the highest highs some of the lowest lows. It's a mixed bag, but through it all, it is well with my soul. So as I close this episode out, it's very weird, surreal conversation with you and with I, I'd just love to to pray for you, to pray for your family, to pray for your loved ones. So if you if you're driving, don't close your eyes. But if you're in a place of where you want to pray with me, you can about your hug, close your eyes. Let's just pray together, and let's just thank God, God. We, thank you for the beautiful legacy of Pastor Jeff Leake. We, thank you for the blessing and the treasure that he was to us, Lord. We, thank you for the time that we had with him. God, I pray for those that are in grief right now, for those that have been just so deeply wounded and are mourning the loss of our pastor and our friend, mentor and Father, I pray. Would you surround us with your spirit? Would you wrap us in your loving arms. We thank you that you walk through these valleys with us. And I pray, God, would you take us by the hand, lead us through the grief and the tragedy and lead us into the hope that you have for our lives. I just pray for a hope that burns brighter from this God Lord, for a calling that becomes clearer. I pray for breakthroughs. God, Lord, just like you know, when Jesus died and the curtain was torn, that many dead people came to life in the city at the time, I pray, God, would there be so much good that spawned out of out of this tragedy of my dad passing? We just pray God for a blessing for everybody who listens. I pray, would you be with them and be their comfort and peace in Jesus name. We pray Amen. Thank you for being a part of this conversation. Thank you for being a part of my life, my dad's life, and listen again. I said this before, part of the legacy of my dad is this podcast, and part of my man, part of my life. We're not going to stop. We're going to continue to do these kind of episodes. We'll do more about the life of my dad and lessons we can learn and beyond. I hope that if you have been a listener of the show, that you'll stay as part of our podcast family, and you know, we'll we'll get through this together. So love you guys so much. Thank you for joining us today, and hopefully we'll see you guys again next time.