Handling Trolls with Honey

The digital landscape can be brutal, especially when you're building a business that puts you in the public eye. From facing trolls who leave scathing comments to dealing with people who fundamentally misunderstand what you do, the constant scrutiny can be draining. But how you respond to these challenges reveals volumes about your character and professionalism to the audience that truly matters.

Drawing from my journey transitioning from a cautious New York teacher to a content creator, I share the reality of developing thick skin while remaining authentic. One powerful strategy that's served me well? Responding with honey rather than vinegar. When critics strike, a gracious, professional response not only disarms them but leaves a lasting positive impression on clients and followers who witness the exchange.

I recently experienced this firsthand when someone criticized my YouTube SEO efforts while trying to sell their services. Instead of getting defensive, I thanked them warmly while politely declining their offer. Later, a client mentioned how impressed they were with my handling of that very interaction—proof that your real audience notices how you conduct yourself, especially in challenging moments. Whether you're delivering uncomfortable truths to clients or responding to unfair criticism, maintaining professionalism while staying true to your brand is a delicate but essential balance.

Feeling drained by negative comments? Don't let critics steal your creative energy. Consider outsourcing customer service for particularly frustrating interactions, or use tools like ChatGPT to help craft responses that protect your mental space while maintaining your voice. Remember, those questioning your work usually aren't your audience anyway—save your best thinking for growing your business, not crafting comebacks. Your sanity deserves protection as much as your brand does.

Chapters

• 0:00 Teaching to Public Eye Transition
• 0:57 Dealing With Trolls and Critics
• 1:58 Responding With Honey, Not Vinegar
• 3:18 Client Impressions Matter
• 5:19 Protecting Your Mental Space
• 6:24 Using Resources Like ChatGPT

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

I promised you the raw, the real and the unhinged, and you're going to get it today. So one of the things early on that I struggled with was being in the public eye. When I first started, I was a teacher and I was very concerned about social media putting things out that could be tied back to me. As far as being a teacher Teaching in New York, you get paid well, you're kind of People are watching, you're part of a union. They are looking for reasons as to potentially get you in trouble. So I was always very concerned that if I was on Instagram and my students were on Instagram, it was going to be an issue. And once I got out of teaching and started not caring as much because I didn't have to, because I was no longer teaching I quickly realized that there was a lot that was going on that could potentially inflict pain, let's just say, on not only myself but also my business.

Speaker 1: 0:57

And one of the things that we constantly have to kind of deal with is through the years of dealing with trolls and copycats and people that make fun of what it is that we do we. I can remember many people saying what you're a blogger? You mean you just take pictures of your food and put it up, and that's what you do. Um, there's always going to be people's conceptions of what it is that we do, and there's always going to be people's conceptions of what it is that we do, and there's always going to be those that don't understand and really don't want to and guess what that's their. That is okay, and I think I quickly grew very thick skin in understanding that I needed to know who I was and be okay with some people not liking me, people questioning why I did certain things or the way that I did certain things, and I knew that one of the biggest things that I had to make sure that I did and again, it's so funny because here I go, I'm going to go back to bringing up something about something that a show that I've watched, but it's you attract more bees with honey than you do with anything else. So when it comes to people that are going to be nasty in your comments, that are going to give you a hard time, I always took the route of being extra sweet, and this was even before I moved to the South and learned the way that you actually you know, before I moved to the South and learned the way that you actually you know, thank you so much and the backhanded way of saying bless your heart. So, when it comes to putting out content and getting feedback from people, that just doesn't make sense. Now, if it's your audience and they're telling you that I have a question about this, you're not really explaining this. That's different than what I'm talking about. I'm talking about those that are not your audience. You can tell they're not your audience. They're there because let's perfect example.

Speaker 1: 3:03

I many of you know that I've been working on YouTube to try to improve my YouTube and prior to probably two months ago, any of the content that was on YouTube for me was directly streamed from my podcast. It was just the way that it connected from my podcast to YouTube, so it really wasn't meant for YouTube. It was. There was no SEO to it, there was nothing, and I have been trying. For the last two months I've been working on making sure that I'm consistent there. I've been putting up thumbnails and working on my descriptions and really doing as much research as I could to understand how to better utilize YouTube and what is available there, and I recently had a comment on a video from someone that was trying to get me as a client who really wasn't very dainty about the way that they told me that my SEO sucked on all of my videos, and I simply replied very sweet and southerly and said oh, thank you so much. I'm working so hard to improve my SEO. I really appreciate you offering to help, but I want to understand it so that I can improve it before I hire someone else to do it, so that that I know what they are doing will actually work.

Speaker 1: 4:12

This is the type. I was honest, I was clear, I was direct, I was also nice. I could have very easily hidden his comment, I could have responded negatively, but in the end, responding with grace and with a little bit of honey made an impression, not only on him because he backed off, but I had a client mention it to me. He said I was watching one of your YouTube videos and I noticed the comments and I noticed how you approached him and what he had said to you and how he was totally off base and what he was saying. But you still responded professionally and actually nicer than I would have anticipated.

Speaker 1: 4:53

And that's what you want. You want your clients to see. You want your audience to see who you really are. That is who I am. I am very honest, an art of talking, even with clients who I may feel need to try something a little different. I will always tell them beforehand you're not going to like this, but this is what I think you should do and normally, because of the way that I've approached it and the way that I have talked to them about it, they will test it.

Speaker 1: 5:32

It's probably a listener right now going oh my goodness, that's the exact same way she talks to me. She always says to me you're not going to like this, but and that's okay, and it's also okay for clients to see to me yeah, no, that's not going to work with my audience, because someone listening has probably told me that you know who you are. So I really want you to think about that. How can you make sure that when you are dealing with people from the outside, you keep professionalism, but it's within brand for you, it works for who you are and what you are about? And, as you are going about doing this, making sure that you are protecting your own sanity so that, if it continues to be an issue where you're noticing it's taking your energy, you're getting frustrated, you're spending hours trying to comment back to someone. Have someone hired as a customer service that's going to answer those comments and talk to people, potentially in your DMs, that are aggravating and silly about the things that they're saying.

Speaker 1: 6:31

You need to protect your own headspace so that you can continue to grow your business and not be stuck in the weeds over hemming and hawing about what to say If it doesn't come naturally. Think about potentially hey, this would be a great thing to use chat TBT for Saying this is what someone has responded to. This is what it makes me feel like. This is how I think I should respond, but I think it's a little abrasive. How could I approach this better? And I guarantee you you will get the response from ChatGPT that you could potentially use, that you will be comfortable with, and you will not have wasted hours upon hours of doing it. So this is a reminder to you that you are going to run into this, but we have tons of resources at our fingertips that we can use in order to protect our space and protect our own sanity.