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Speaker 1:
One of the toughest things that we have to do when we're coaching people and we hear it all the time, is I don't have time to coach. And you know, to a certain extent I've kind of poo-pooed that or dismissed that through the years. Let me just share this with you. When you're coaching people, you know, I've often said the real objection is people don't coach cuz they don't know what to do and they don't know what to say. So the challenge with that we have is if we don't know what to do or say, let's be honest, we can sometimes show up and throw up. The key to really good conversational techniques is to show up. Knowing what we're gonna ask, knowing what we're focused on, and really avoiding language that triggers. Let me give you an example. You know, Bob, you're really doing a great job, but where I'm really frustrated that is much different than, you know what, Bob, here are the three areas that I think you do extremely well, and I think about you raising your game in the following. So that becomes one of your strengths. Wouldn't you react to number two more favorably? See, what we tend to do is we tend to not think about what we're gonna do or say, or how we're gonna say it, or what language might trigger somebody. We tend to show up and throw up. The problem with that is conversations have an impact. Now, the first example I gave you, Bob's not gonna walk away and say, you know, I don't like the way he said it, but you know what, he's right. No, he's gonna focus on the way I said it and he's gonna go tell three other people. See, I can't stand this thing about workplace engagement and our values and our principles. The way you drive organizational engagement, organizational engagement and values and principles is one conversation at a time and we tend to show up and throw up. We do it all the time. So when you think about that, we have to really think about being conscientious. Think about the things that we're saying. Think about the things that we're doing, and think about the things that we're going to do that will have a really good, um, impact on people. We tend to show up and throw up. We do it all the time. So again, when you're focusing on people's strengths, the galp organization reports, they engage eight times more. Yet we still call people into the office and say, What? Come into my office. What's the employee's first response? It's usually Uhoh, What did I do wrong? I've been saying that for 29 years, people still have the same impression, which illustrates we are not developing the requisite conversational skills that we need to. Language matters. Our behavior matters, our emotional level matters. Our avoidance of trigger words matter. So think about having a really good conversation this week and only focus on
Speaker 2:
The three strengths of somebody inserting the word and, and then address the area that you'd like them to improve. Potentially have them grasp as an opportunity for that to become one of their additional strengths. You'll get a different reaction than somebody saying, you know, you do a pretty good job, but where I'm really frustrated. See when bosses lead with that, or coaches or leaders lead with that, people don't focus on what was said. They focus on the language and the emotion. That's the difference in conversational skills. Good luck.