Unveiling Self-Coaching: The Path to True Personal and Professional Growth

Ever wondered why, despite all the external guidance and leadership coaching available, you still struggle to reach your full potential? It's time to turn the mirror on yourself, and we're here to help you navigate the art of self-coaching. Tasha Yerkes, an industrial psychologist, joins us to shed light on the stark contrast between how self-aware we think we are and the reality, revealing that a staggering 85% of us are living in the dark about our true selves. This episode peels back the layers of resistance and denial, guiding you through the uncomfortable but necessary journey towards genuine self-discovery.

This week's conversation is more than just an exploration; it's a transformation waiting to happen, especially in the wake of the pandemic's unique impact on coaching practices. We share anecdotes and actionable strategies, including the shift to virtual breakout rooms, which akin to self-coaching, provide a much-needed private space for honest reflection. Whether you're a seasoned executive or a striving salesperson, our discussion with Yerkes will equip you with the tools for journaling and self-questioning that promise to challenge and change the way you engage in personal and professional development.

Welcome to Coaching Conversations

We have created a NEW service called Coach 2 YOU where leaders can assist short targeted 7 to 21 day programs to coach their employees without ANY of their own time to truly partner and assist in the coaching process. Get more info here: https://form.jotform.com/233504052497051

Check out my profile and under "Featured" we are now providing a Free Coaching course "6 Steps to Build a High Performing Coaching Culture" and asking for people who register to help share through our new system!

Check it out: https://lnkd.in/d6-3u382

Free Course Access: https://lnkd.in/dHAStBEM

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:37

When you think about coaching in today's world. We're hearing things about artificial intelligence we promote artificial intelligence. You hear about coaching automation we promote coaching automation. You hear about leadership coaching we promote leadership coaching. Yet there's one fundamental thing we do not talk about and that is self-coaching, and I just gave a presentation. And that is self-coaching, and I just gave a presentation.

Speaker 1: 1:05

My degree at University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee I completed half my master's with an emphasis on self-directed learning, and when you think about self-coaching really being honest, asking yourself questions it sounds dumb, right. Think about self-coaching like what did I accomplish today? What could I have improved? What did I learn? What feedback do I need to ask for? It starts with asking yourself questions. Here's the problem with self-coaching. Yet here's the value of self-coaching we have barriers.

Speaker 1: 1:39

I'm going to give you the most fundamental example. When I would work with sales teams and I used to do sales training many years ago, I hated it, because the wall in front of a salesperson not all salesperson people I'm a salesperson yet what we have in front of us is this wall and its resistance. I don't want to look at things that make me aware of my inadequacies. You know why? Because sales is tough enough and it is. It's filled with a lot of rejection, a lot of no's. So when you think about coaching and you think about the number one thing that people lack and that's self-awareness Tasha Yerkes got a great book Insights New York Times bestseller. She's a PhD industrial psychologist and she said in her survey 95% of the people said yes, I'm highly self-aware. When she tested, I'm only 10% worth. That means 85% of us are fooling ourselves. We all have blind spots. So when we get feedback, what do we do? We typically have an emotional response of dismissing that feedback because we don't agree with it. We don't open ourselves up. That's why self-coaching can be powerful.

Speaker 1: 2:56

So when I was doing this presentation, I had an executive say to me he said but what if somebody doesn't want to do this? This sounds great in theory. I said you're right, we can be our greatest advocate or our greatest enemy. And he stopped and he said wow, okay, what do you mean? I said well, take someone with a negative attitude.

Speaker 1: 3:19

I contend deep down if they really had a thoughtful conversation with themselves. They know they exhibit that negative attitude, but when was the last time someone knocked on your door and said, boss, I'm going to kind of undermine you this week and I'm going to really talk behind my teammates' backs. The whole room started to laugh and I said I know it's humorous, but think about what I just said. Okay, do people really do that? They don't want to admit it, they don't want to have that conversation. They sure as heck don't want to be told that they have a negative attitude. When was the last time you told somebody you have a negative attitude? That person goes oh, thank you. I was wondering what my problem was. No, they nod and they can't wait for that conversation to be over.

Speaker 1: 4:03

What's at the forefront of that? Self-awareness? The ability to be honest with yourself. Now let me give you another parallel.

Speaker 1: 4:11

During the pandemic, something magical happened to our company. I had been using Zoom for years and I knew about breakout rooms. All of a sudden, people became more inclined to do practice and coaching sessions if I put them in a breakout room versus in a workshop with 30 other people. Why? Why? Because they're not within earshot of their boss or their boss's boss. It's a much more comfortable place. Why? It's private. That's what self-coaching provides.

Speaker 1: 4:44

What we have to do is frame out self-coaching. We have to give people questions to ask themselves and for lack of better description, record and or journal and thenbuilt resistance triggers made of steel. You got a negative attitude. Could you give me a situation? We don't want a situation. We want something we can rebuttal so we can make that feedback go away. That way, I don't have to look at myself.

Speaker 1: 5:22

So think about structuring a self-coaching system. Here are three questions I'd love to have you adopt. What are two things that you think you do really really well? Have that person ask themselves that, give them those questions and where do you feel like you have two opportunities to improve as it relates to your job and or something that would position you for success in the future? Number three what are two things that you're learning about yourself you're really proud of? Now somebody might contend, come on, those are softball questions. They are. What we tend to do is see things that we want to correct and fix and we go after them. I'm not saying that's wrong. What I'm saying is you want to build momentum. Start with the good things. Use words like opportunity, not feedback. Use things like perspectives to elevate yourself versus words like weakness. Then it helps the person start a conversation with themselves which can gain momentum, not only for them to coach, self-coach themselves, yet also to receive.