Sandi tells us why she's been absent ... and why she's come back.
In this episode, you will hear:
In case you haven't already received your complimentary copy of Sandi's Workplace Psychological Assessment tool, click here. You'll find the access button readily available on the Home Page.
Or, contact Sandi directly at sandi@sandigivens.com.au and she will email a copy to you.
Psychological Safety Works - useful links:
Sandi tells us why she's been absent ... and why she's come back.
In this episode, you will hear:
In case you haven't already received your complimentary copy of Sandi's Workplace Psychological Assessment tool, click here. You'll find the access button readily available on the Home Page.
Or, contact Sandi directly at sandi@sandigivens.com.au and she will email a copy to you.
Psychological Safety Works - useful links:
Hi there. It's great to have you join us for the Psychological Safety Works Podcast, where we bring you concrete strategies and inspiring ideas about how to confidently have important but tough conversations. Do you know businesses required by law to provide mental or psychological safety for their employees as well as physical safety? Are you aware of the risk factors that can lead to mentally unhealthy work environments?
Do you feel confident your team is working at their best and being fully productive at work? We're here to help business men and women with all this and much more. Listen in to discover how you can build greater psychological safety in your workplace and reap the benefits of reduced business costs and increased employee productivity. And now, here's your host, Sandi Givens.
Well, hello, it's Sandi Givens here, and I'm coming to you from Melbourne, in the state of Victoria in Australia. I am delighted beyond words to say that we are moving steadily out of the severe lockdown that we've had here for many months here in Melbourne, particularly, but throughout the state of Victoria, and I want to share with you why I've been absent, and why I've come back.
Now, for those that don't know, in Melbourne, and throughout our state of Victoria, we have gone through one of the toughest lockdowns in the world, I think. We've been limited for many months to only traveling within five kilometers of our home, to only being allowed to leave our homes for one of four reasons such as buying essential goods and services, or seeking health care of some sort.
And back in February this year, when COVID-19 really became a reality here in Australia, within a matter of three or four days, two things happened to me. The first was that all of my work was canceled. Many of you will know that the work I do and the services that I provide my clients, prior to COVID was all delivered in person. And as I say all of my clients contacted me and said, 'Look, we just got to put a pause on all these workshops that we booked you for until we see what is happening with COVID.' On the one hand, of course, I fully understood their reason for doing that. What it meant for me, though, was suddenly I had no income on my books for the foreseeable future.
The second thing that happened was the reality of living alone. And living under these new conditions of isolation really hit hard. And I started to realize I'm not going to see any of my loved ones or my friends for how many months on end. Despite my best efforts to keep the black dog at bay, I found myself sinking quite quickly into a significant depression.
Now, I'm proud to say that I practice what I preach, which is put my hand up and ask for help. I contacted my GP who initially arranged some online psychological counseling for me. And when we became aware that this was not helping - in fact my condition was worsening, I ended up being admitted to a hospital for three months for major depressive disorder.
Now, the purpose of this episode is not to talk to you in detail about what happened with me during those months.
But to focus on some practical and tangible tips I can share with you of things that have truly helped me not only recover, but maintain a good level of mental fitness since I was discharged from hospital, and since I've been home and continuing my recovery.
From the start of October, I've been able to restart my business, if you like, and get in touch with clients and start to record podcasts again, be more active on LinkedIn.
And why I've come back to do this is that my experiences of this year has left me even more strongly committed to helping people live with optimal mental health and wellbeing. I believe so passionately about the importance of us doing this and particularly in our workplaces, which have been strained to their absolute limits this year. Probably no matter where you are in the world, the reality of COVID-19 and what it's brought our way has impacted us all.
So, allow me to start with my tips. My first tip for you is that I have discovered, it can be quite good to not have an opinion about something. Now, what I mean by that is, normally when I have an opinion, I'd like it to be based on facts and things that I've researched quite thoroughly. And frankly, I haven't had the time or the inclination to go into the absolute ins and outs of why our government here in Victoria decided that we were going to live through these very severe restrictions. Now meanwhile, many of my friends who I've been talking to on the phone, and more recently been able to see and meet them for a walk in a park somewhere - many of them have been incredibly frustrated and, railing against the rules that we have been placed under. And at times when they've said to me, 'what do you think about this?' As I say, I've learned to be comfortable by saying, "I'm quite comfortable not having an opinion."
Now, this is shocked some people, because normally I do like they have an opinion. But what I found for me is that a lot of - in fact all of the rules - I have little or no control over. And what I found was better for my well being, my mental health and my ongoing recovery was simply to know what the rules were, and make sure I stayed within them, and not necessarily have an opinion about whether they were good rules, bad rules, or something in between. So my first tip is to perhaps look at your life. And how many areas where you previously perhaps had strong opinions about things. But that's kept you welled up and kept you tense and stressed about things, perhaps over which you have little or no control, and how much better it might be for your mental well being, to be able to simply say, 'you know, I don't really have a strong opinion about that.'
My second tip for you, is to create what I've called my Uncertainty Journal. So, similar to other journals that you've heard me talk about the past, like a Gratitude Journal, I created an Uncertainty Journal, where I could record all those worries and concerns that were constantly rolling around in my head. And by and large, a lot of these things that I was worried about, were things over which I had little or no control. I've spoken in the past a lot about focusing on those things over which we do have a degree of influence and control, rather than being worn out by focusing on things that we can't influence in any way.
So I created my Uncertainty Journal, and every day, for probably about two weeks, I would sit every morning with my cup of tea, and just dump everything that was rattling around in my brain, all my worries, all my what ifs into this journal, for a minimum of 10 minutes. And if I needed longer, I kept going. The key to this strategy working for me, though, was the belief, the imagination, the strong will and desire for my brain to literally let go of these worries, as I wrote them in my Uncertainty Journal, so that at the end of my writing, I could close the journal, put it away on the shelf, and get on with something I could control or that I could influence in some way. Naturally, that one-off job of 10 minutes writing in the morning, does not necessarily fix it for the whole day. And I found initially there were many times in the day, where I would stop what I was doing and write in my Uncertainty Journal again. And so I would simply dump all my concerns into it every time they started taking over my thoughts. And I did this as a regular practice every day, for as I say, about two weeks. Then I found that I actually needed it less. And so what I find now is that mainly when I find my mind starting to run away with ideas and worries and concerns, I grab the journal, write in it and tell my brain I'm putting all of those concerns into the book, and then I put it away. And with my hand on my heart, I can tell you, it's been a great tool for me to use to help stay well.
My third suggestion for you is - particularly if you're still working from home or still feeling quite isolated in some way or another - is to create list of people you could call simply for a chat, simply to stay connected. I found that by writing the list down and visually being able to see it on the front of my refrigerator, this lessened my feelings of isolation and aloneness. And I did absolutely make the practice of calling one or two or five people on that list every day. And I would say to them, of course, if it wasn't a good time for them, we could talk later. I'm simply staying connected and saying, how are you going with this, and that lets me feel that I had some connection to the world outside my four walls.
My fourth suggestion to you is to implement the strategy of what's called pacing. Pacing simply means that you work at a pace and in a period of time, where you can be optimally productive. I found for myself, prior to this year, I was a person that would doggedly keep going at any task until it was complete, even when I was exhausted and when my brain felt befuddled, I kept going until it was done. And this year, I've learned a bit more about self compassion, a bit more about giving myself the same sort of permission, the same sort of respect and the same sort of care that I readily show other people. So being aware of when I'm running out of energy, or I'm starting to get a bit brain fatigued, I allow myself to opt out. I allow myself to have that 5, 10, even 30 minute break if I need to, to refresh and rejuvenate myself, and as I've said before, in my podcast, to fit my own oxygen mask.
Now my fifth and final tip for you in this episode, is to create a second list. And this is a list of people that you can call for help, and preferably people who you feel close enough to ... people who you trust, and people who care about you, and will not mind whether you are calling at two o'clock in the morning, or on the weekends, or whatever. So people who you could call 24/7, and say, 'Hey, I'm, I'm really on the edge here. And I just need to talk with someone for a little while to get over this this hump'. I mean, I also suggest that you tell people very close to you - and these people on this list, particularly - what to look for in you that might have changed. You need to become aware of what your own signals are of becoming less mentally well. Is that when you appear to be a little bit forgetful, or not be able to express yourself clearly? Whatever the signs might be for you, and signs that they can hear on the phone or perhaps see in person if you are seeing them, let them know what to look for in you and give them absolute permission to point out to you when they're starting to notice these things in you and are getting concerned and would like to see you get some help.
So there's five tips that I can absolutely vouch for that have helped me this year, and I trust you will find they help you.
Now in the next episode that I'll be releasing very soon, I'm going to talk about how you can help employees who might feel isolated wherever you are in the world. We're all at different stages of lockdown and restrictions and permissions or otherwise. So I want to share ideas about how we can help employees to feel more connected less isolated, and stay mentally fit during this time.
Also, I want to make sure that you know that there are plenty of resources and checklists of all sorts of help and support lines here in Australia at my website - PsychologicalSafetyWorks.com.au. Please feel free to go to the resources page on my site and access anything there that can be helpful to you.
So until next time, please stay well. Make sure you look after yourself, and you continue to look out for others as well.
This has been another valuable episode of the Psychological Safety Works Podcast with Sandi Givens. If you know others like yourself who want to build more psychologically safe workplaces, please share this and other episodes via your podcast app, email or social media channels. And remember, you can find shownotes, resources and subscribe to this podcast at PsychologicalSafetyWorks.com.au
We truly believe collectively we can all contribute to building happier, healthier and more harmonious workplaces for everyone.
This Psychological Safety Works Podcast is proudly part of the Experts on Air podcast network. Until next time, Look after yourselves and each other.