College Parent Central Podcast

#153 - Students to Students: How Peer Support Can Help Students Thrive

• Vicki Nelson, Lynn Abrahams, Elizabeth Hamblet • Season 7 • Episode 153

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Colleges and universities work to provide students with the support they need to thrive – both in the classroom and out. From professors, advisors, tutors, and librarians to counselors, resident directors and student activity personnel, most colleges are staffed by professionals and experts in all areas. But there’s another source of support for students that may be too often overlooked – that provided by their peers. In this episode, Sarah and Vicki talk about the many ways that peer support can help students – sometimes even more than professional support. We examine the types of support available, why it can make a difference, and also why some students might want to become peer tutors, advisors, teaching assistants, or residence assistants. If you’re a parent, you’ll leave with concrete ways to encourage smart help-seeking and ideas for campus roles your student can pursue.

Thank you for listening!

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the College Parent Central Podcast. Whether your child is just beginning the college admission process or is already in college, this podcast is for you. You'll find food for thought and information about college and about navigating that delicate balance of guidance, involvement, and knowing when to get out of the way. Join your hosts as they share support and a celebration of the amazing experience of having a child in college.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to the College Parent Central Podcast. This is the podcast where we talk about all kinds of things that have to do with being the parent of a college student, or the parent of a high school student thinking about going to college, or the parent of a student who's stepping out of college. All of those things. And we cover it both from our professions and from having been parents. Well, we having been, we still are parents, but having been parents of college students. My name is Vicki Nelson, and I am a professor of communication. So I work with college students every day. And I am also the parent of three daughters who have all gone to college. So I have lived through this phase of feeling overwhelmed by college. And I am here today with one of my co-hosts. I'd say one of my favorite co-hosts, but I say that for every co-host. Sarah Shane. So I'm going to let her introduce herself.

SPEAKER_01

Sure. Thank you so much, Ricky. So I'm Sarah Shane. I'm the director of the Office of Advising and Academic Success at a small liberal arts college. I've been there for about 10 years and in academic advising for, oh, too many to count, over 25. We don't have to reveal everything. That's probably too many to count. And I also am the parent of one college graduate, two sons, one who's graduated and is now in uh working full-time and in a part-time master's program, and then um another son who's a sophomore in college. Um so I very much appreciate all aspects of this process.

Why Students Avoid Asking For Help

SPEAKER_02

So it's the same thing as when Lynn is here, um, and she has the boys and I have the girls. And you have the boys and I have the girls. So we've we've kind of seen it all. Um so one of the things we wanted to talk about today um is peer-to-peer support. Uh I think, you know, when we send our students away to college, we're worried about who's going to take care of them, who's going to support them, who's going to help them, who's going to do all of those things. And any any college anywhere is just full of professionals who can do that, uh, who can take care of their health, their mental health, their academics, their social, you know, everything.

SPEAKER_01

All the things. All the things.

SPEAKER_02

But in addition to that, um, there are some peer-to-peer supports that are really helpful. And I think I think there are a couple of things to to think about as we m talk about this. And the first is that what we're seeing, um, and I'm sure Sarah, you see it too, is that students today really often have a lot of trouble asking for help. Absolutely. They they have this feeling that being independent, because we keep telling them now you're going to college, you're independent, and all, but that that means you have to do everything on your own. And and so asking for help is really hard when they need it. And they're especially afraid of asking professors and asking some of the professionals.

SPEAKER_01

Certainly. I think, and and I think depending on, you know, kind of the culture that um students are raised in, some might feel, you know, not and not that they should at all, but that asking for a sign of help is a weakness, which of course it is not at all. And one of the things we say till we're black and blue is that, you know, asking for help will only, you know, increase your chances for success and open you up to all the resources. And we are happy to help on every level. We just need to know if you have questions. Right. But yes, I think students are um is often, especially first year students and incoming students, um nervous around faculty and as well as staff. Um, but I think yes, having the other options we'll chat about tonight makes opens up a whole other world of opportunities.

The Case For Peer Tutors

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and we actually have a separate um podcast episode just on help seeking and that. So we'll link to that in the show notes. So here we have these students who often are afraid or reticent to ask us for help. Um, but they are often more comfortable connecting with a peer. And so that can be a wonderful thing for them on on many levels and in many areas because um there they will ask questions that they might not ask us and they will seek help. The problem sometimes is that some parents worry that let's take tutoring just as an example. My student needs a tutor. I want I want my student working with a professional tutor. I don't want him him or her, I don't I don't want them just working with another student because it's not going to be as good. Um, but as we'll talk about as we unfold some of these opportunities, um, sometimes they they can connect with a student on a way that they wouldn't with uh with a faculty or a staff person. Um they have shared experiences, uh, and so that can be really helpful. And and colleges now are recognizing how helpful peers are. And so there are more and more uh opportunities for for peers. And they're not just using peers because they're cheap help.

SPEAKER_01

No, no, not. I think folks have kind of realized though the wonderful opportunities that peer support provides in a way that, you know, when we went to college a few years ago, yeah, a year or two ago, yeah. That you know, that wasn't really kind of an a thing, or it wasn't um you know, the the wealth of um just different resources that students provide and in a way that students can relate to and other students feel comfortable asking, right, in which they sometimes might feel like they're they feel too silly asking a gr a quote grown-up a stupid question and they might be willing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So what we want to do um with all of that um sort of setting the the stage is talk about some of the opportunities that students have to work with a peer or to be the peer. Um so as we run through these, um I'd like to suggest, as parents think about it, not only thinking in terms of why might it benefit my student to work with another student, but also might my student be a good candidate to fill one of these positions and and be the peer. And there really are some strong reasons to do that. So just quickly um thinking about why might your student want to be a peer, number one, they get paid. Most of the time they get paid. And so it's a nice on-campus job. It often has flexible hours. If you're a tutor, you set the hours that you want to do it. Um, some require other kinds of commitments. Um, and and the student the self-esteem that students get from just knowing I I made a difference in somebody's life is is really uh important. Um if they're teaching, if they're um being a tutor or something of that nature, they're learning the material twice. I mean, I as a teacher, I know I've never learned material as well as when I had to teach it and explain it to somebody. So that's a good thing, depending on on what it is. They're working on problem solving, they're working on critical critical thinking, and it looks great on a resume.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, certainly. And in as you're saying, you don't know how well you know it or don't know it until you go to try to explain it to someone else, and it really helps the you know the tutor um delve into making sure they understand every last piece in so it's not just the to T who benefits.

SPEAKER_02

Right, right. So you're mentioning tutors, so let's start with that. So one of one of the um positions is to be a peer tutor, um, and there are some real advantages to that. Um and now thinking about why would a student want to work with a peer tutor rather than a professional tutor. Um often the peer tutors have had the same struggles, you know. I've the sometimes the person who breezed through the course may not be the best tutor, but a student who, you know, had to really work at it and finally got it um can be good. They they sort of speak the same language. Absolutely. Sometimes it does seem as though these students have an entirely different language than I speak. Um and so they can connect. Um peer tutors serve as a role model for them. Um and uh if your student is being tutored by a peer tutor, they may be a whole lot less anxious and more well, we just talked about the stupid questions, but also they can relax a little more and absorb the material a little more than if they were um uh peer tutors often are really enthusiastic about what they do and they have a lot of energy. Where sometimes some of the professional tutors, I mean, they're all wonderful, but sometimes they've been doing it a long time and it has become a little bit right.

SPEAKER_01

And it's been a while since they were in the reversed kind of spot. And I and I think, you know, as you're saying, so many times students who've uh are teaching, you know, this to another student, kind of remember where they maybe kind of had to reread some certain things or ask questions about certain points and know the places in the course where certain questions could arise that maybe the professor glossed over something. And you know, and and that speaks to, and I know you're haven't even gotten to probably half the things, but um, when a student is a tutor, they've taken the class. Yes, they've done well in the class. They are familiar, especially if that's their major, they've taken a number of the professors so they can help in a unique way work with a student who's, oh yes, I know what you mean, but you know, great thing to do with that professor is make sure you talk, go to office hours and make sure you specific information.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I remember professor so-and-so. And he they're gonna want you to know this or be sure you know the vocabulary. Yes, something like that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, little tricks of the trade, and you know, because every faculty has different kind of strengths, strengths, and strategies and kind of how they um, you know, test students and how they speak, you know, to things in class, and um having someone who kind of remembers, oh yes, make sure you study XYZ, and you know, it's just helpful to um, and then it also just helps put the student at ease. Right. Um, and and then when a student is, you know, the the tutor says, All right, does this make sense? And the student's like, well, this part does, but this part still doesn't. Can we talk about that again? Whereas sometimes with a professional tutor or the faculty themselves, the student might feel more reluctant to be like, yeah, no, I still don't get it. Like they don't feel comfortable admitting that, whereas they will are more likely to with a student Pierre.

Peer Advisors: Navigating Systems And Snafus

SPEAKER_02

So so we're not saying professional tutors are bad. And not at all. But um, and for some students and in some subjects, and depending on the professional tutor, it's absolutely right. So I don't want anybody to misunderstand us on that, but that there are some unique advantages to working with a peer tutor. So another one is um peer advisors, and I know doing what you do, Sarah, you work, you you train them and work with them all the time. So talk a little bit about peer advisors.

SPEAKER_01

Peer advisors are such a wonderful resource that really helps make our office run smoothly. And our office, um we do all kinds of things with students in terms of workshops, and obviously we meet with them one-on-one, and we'll go to, you know, as a we'll go to classrooms, and whenever we can, we invite the peers, our peer advisors to come along so that they can contribute to our presentation that we're making to a class. Um and students do relate to other students. I mean, as much as we love to think we're doing such a fabulous job, the students do relate to what other peers are saying. And and, you know, especially when they're a year or two or three older than than they are. And, you know, when we go into um or we'll we'll hold workshops even, um, and while I will readily admit I I it's rare that I'll be the youngest person in the in the room for those, I do, you know, many of our staff are are, you know, definitely younger in their mid-20s and do a wonderful job. But even with them, if there's a peer there when you know we're kind of asking for questions at the end and we're kind of milling around, so often students will go up to the peer advisor before they'll go up to the staff who are still considered, quote, an adult.

SPEAKER_03

You're right.

SPEAKER_01

So it's very interesting. And um so often, too, if a if a student has a question and they, you know, it's not always easy to connect the that day, certainly with their advisor or their faculty member or you know, a staff in our office if um they don't have an appointment. So we always have our peer advisors at our front desk available because so often students have a quick question and they're like, Can you just show me how to do this again and register? And how do I find this online degree audit? And how do I find what the attributes are for this gen ed? And you know, when it's something that they again can be a little reluctant to ask their grown-up, whether again it's their faculty advisor or one of our staff, especially if they feel like, oh, I know they've told me this already, and they've I I don't want to sound silly because stupid question like they're gonna think I'm not paying attention or that or I'm not. But here they can ask and oh yeah, come on, we'll show you right here. We have a Chromebook, we'll pull up, and you know, if the student doesn't have a laptop with them, we we can show them and it just helps the student kind of go along with their day. They're not stopped in the tracks until they get this answer or have to wait two days to meet with someone. Um, and it just helps them learn also, again, the power of asking questions and being, you know, open to other people who may not necessarily because I think students don't even realize necessarily that the peer advisors exist. And, you know, once until they get to to school and you know, and we'll talk at some point probably about orientation leaders and that type of thing too. So there's because there's a variety of avenues that students support can be so effective that incoming students aren't aware of. Um, but they're you know, our peer advisors make such a difference and they really help students quickly and efficiently and are a connection for students too, because then when they see them across campus or they happen to share a major and then they start talking about that. And that's one thing we we we really when we you know recruit our peer advisors, we try to get as many as we can from different majors because we want them to chat, you know, about the ins and outs of the different majors and courses they really enjoyed, or study abroad trips, or things that um they've experienced personally that our you know younger students could benefit from.

SPEAKER_02

And you know, as an advisor, one of the things I've found um that the peer advisors are really important for is often what the students see on their portal and when they go to register, what they see is very different than what the faculty portal has or or what I see. So the peer advisors can really help them navigate their way around in a way that I can't, no matter how much I know about the curriculum and what they need to do and all. Um sometimes the online experience for students and for faculty and staff are are very different.

SPEAKER_01

So I think in many schools, the staff and faculty view of the portal and of the website is different from what the students see. And even though, you know, I I would think many schools, I know we kind of try to send videos of what things look like from a student's perspective, but for a lot of faculty, you know, they obviously why would they, you know, they look at it every six months and they have 12,000 other things to do.

SPEAKER_02

So until you're in manipulating it, exactly navigating your way around. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

And where students are in there all the time and they seem to, God love them, remember things far more quickly than the rest of us. And oh yeah, just do this and click here and click there. And and again, students are super appreciative because they don't feel like it was a silly question. Um and you know, there's like three lines at the top. If you click this, it'll show you this, and these dots will show, you know, so all these little shortcuts that students use all the time that other students benefit from knowing, and it just puts them at ease and gives them all the information they need.

SPEAKER_02

So so we have um peer tutors and we have peer advisors. So let's move out of academics a little and um talk a little bit about being in the dorm or resident school.

RAs As Mentors And Rule Keepers

SPEAKER_01

Oh sure. So um RAs are wonderful. Every school, every residential school, so RA being sorry, resident assistance. My apologies, you're so correct. Resident assistants. So they live in the dorms. Um they're a they're a student who's older, even maybe just a year, but it depends, they're sophomores, juniors, seniors, the grad students, even. Um, but they kind of um set the stage for the students' residential experience and um they connect with students very early on, typically the first day when students first move in. They have a floor meeting and they introduce themselves and they make sure the students know where their rooms are so that someone's always on call if they need them for all kinds of things. And um residence assistants RAs are handle everything under the sun from homesickness to um illness to everything that a student comes up against in their first year that they don't know what to do with, and they don't know how to, you know, and this is something that many times they would kind of chat with their parents about, or they're other, you know, close friends from home, but they maybe don't have close friends yet, and or they have roommate conflicts and all kinds of things. Um, and they're just such a wonderful trained student, a little peer, but again, a little older, uh year or two or three, not a ton, but they're they're uh trust, they become often very trusted mentors because they transition issues. You know, that first month is tough for a lot of students in many ways. Um, and again, conflict resolution, mental health. And there's a lot of training for these students. Absolutely. Absolutely, yes, they're not just thrown into things and they spend a lot of time being trained and how to handle every situation under the sun because certainly resident assistants report to someone else, like a an um a CD, which is like a community director or a resident. Yes, R D C D. They have all these different acronyms, but yes, so that they know what to do and they handle things appropriately. Um, and they're just very essential guides and mentors to students experienced or because also, I don't know, I'm I I don't think anyone thinks that all the wonderful, fabulous resources we email students and send them and whatever that they're actually reading, so that especially once they need them, well, they you know, they're if they're in a time of crisis or what they think is a crisis, they're not gonna go back through their email, they're gonna go, who do I have? And so then the RA is like, no worries, like this is what we can do, this is what can help, you know, in kind of de-escalating the situation and really just providing support that a student needs at a kind of difficult time.

SPEAKER_02

I remember when we dropped um it was our youngest daughter off at school uh freshman year, first time, uh, and her birthday was going to be two days after we dropped her off. Um, and we were not close. I mean, we were she was not coming home for her birthday. Uh and I remember finding her RA and kind of pulling her aside and letting her know that's so you know that that that my daughter is gonna have a birthday in two days and it's you know and I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if she's gonna know anyone.

SPEAKER_02

I think we gave her ten dollars or something and said buy some cupcakes or something. And she did a wonderful thing. You know, they had the floor meeting and they all sang happy birthday and everything.

SPEAKER_01

If you just dated yourself by saying ten dollars would buy us a lot of cupcakes, I know. I I did because this daughter, this daughter is grown and has a family of her own now.

SPEAKER_02

So that's so wonderful, and I don't think parents.

SPEAKER_01

Parents would think of that. And the and the RAs, I mean, overall would love to do that because they want the students to get to know them, and they certainly don't want a student on their birthday alone in their room and feeling. And that just probably made the semester. And I guarantee you, your daughter never ever forgot forgot that. And the RA, I'm sure, was thrilled to do it.

SPEAKER_02

But it was just that's what RAs do. Yes. So it's not they're not responsible for the entire building or something. And they really can get to know right with the programming piece too with that. There's there's programming, and then there's the other side that the RA is uh is also the rule enforcer.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, the hall monitor, so to speak. Yes. So and and I mean, and I think that's always a big part of that first meeting. So yay, we're so glad you're here. We you know, we welcome you and we want you to have a wonderful experience, but please know you can't be burning the place down here, you know. So kind of in the And quiet hours, yes, you know, and being respectful of everybody, and so that's a big piece of it too. But um, you know, making sure that students know they're there for them to have a wonderful experience and however they can help support that.

SPEAKER_02

And so in terms of being an artist, yeah. That they they are some it depends on the school, and some get paid, and uh sometimes they get partial room and board, or they get room but not board. Or something, but it's usually a very significant.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, it very is a financial help to the student in a variety of ways. So it's yeah. But that shouldn't be the primary reason that no, because it is a lot of work and you you do have to be dedicated because you know it could be a couple nights in a row.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, they all they also have the late night make the rounds and I was an RA for a couple of years when I was in college back in the dark ages. I know.

SPEAKER_01

I know, no, no.

SPEAKER_02

But uh, you know, you had to be on duty sometimes late at night for signing people in. Oh, certainly.

SPEAKER_01

So because somebody has to be on call some you know throughout the night.

Undergraduate TAs: Translators In The Classroom

SPEAKER_02

So all right, so um so that that is more of a living thing. I want to move back to the classroom a little bit. Um and some schools, not all schools do, but some schools have teaching assistants. Now, when I'm talking about teaching assistance in this context, I'm really talking about undergraduate teaching assistants. If you're in a big university that has big grad programs, often your student might be in a class where the the graduate teaching assistant is actually like the professor of the class. But I'm really thinking more in terms of undergraduate students because they're more peers. Yes. Um, not all schools have it and not all departments have it. It it depends. Sometimes they're lab assistants, I think. And um this is somebody who works with a professor in in the class, and often they sit in on the class all the time, so they're hearing what the professor is saying, and then they might run um discussion sessions, they might run study sessions, um, they might be doing some of the grading of papers um to you know to help the professor, especially if it's a large class. So so they're not really a tutor in the same kind of way, but they can be. Yes, they're real they get to know the students in the class, they get to, you know, often um it's the teaching assistant or TA who takes attendance so they know who's there and who's not uh in class a lot. Um, they can sometimes translate for the students. I think that's a great word.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I think that's a great word because I think, you know, uh, you know, sometimes students first-year students might be also initially hesitant to speak to them because they do consider them a grown-up. But as soon as they do, nine times out of ten, they're like, okay, yeah, can you explain that piece to me in a way again that they wouldn't feel comfortable saying, Professor, I have no idea what you just said for the last 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_01

But to a, you know, the TA, he's like, Can you explain this part better? I was so confused. I didn't know. I was, you know, in a way that they can relate and they feel comfortable having the the TA say, okay, focus on this and from there, X, Y, Z.

SPEAKER_02

And so even more than a peer tutor, they're they're living the experience of the class at the same time. Now they've had the class. They're not taking the class, but they're living the experience of the class. They can they can tell sometimes when the professor is going on and on and the and students are drifting and they look around the room sometimes and see they're confused. And then the TA usually works closely with the professor and might be able to say, I, you know, from what I could tell, I think maybe you need to clarify this or something like that. So um these are upper class students. So, you know, again, if your student is a good student and it's it's a great way, if you are a TA, to get um really build a relationship with a pr a professor, and again, a a great um resume thing. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Um I was just gonna sorry, I was just gonna say, yeah, it's a wonderful for your resume. It's a way to really get to know different faculty in your may especially even your major department. I mean, it's a wonderful resource um to so many other things for us for a student who becomes a TA. Um, and I think it's just it's just a wonderful opportunity that I don't real I don't know that students kind of necessarily think that they can quote do or it's an option or you know, they you know, but once if it's such um it's such a kind of next level of maturity, and uh that's very apparent when that's on the resume that that shows a different, you know, a trust from the professor and the ability to relate to both students and the faculty, and the faculty have their choice, so if they've chosen you, yeah, you know, that's a big deal.

SPEAKER_02

I've had a a TA a couple of times. We don't use undergraduate TAs much, but um in some classes we do. And I it it's it was a wonderful relationship. I mean, we developed a really collegial kind of relationship, and that was that was really nice. All right, so you earlier you mentioned orientation leaders. Yes. So talk a little bit about orientation leaders.

Orientation Leaders Build Belonging

SPEAKER_01

Sure, they are a wonderful way to introduce students to the college experience, and um many times a student will meet them for the first time during their typically summer orientation, and sometimes it typically that's anywhere June, July, August. Um, and a student will you know sign up for the orientation, which we always, always, always recommend students attend. That's probably a whole other conversation.

SPEAKER_02

I think we have I think we have a podcast episode on that we'll create the show notes.

SPEAKER_01

Great. Um, and but the orientation leaders are also, again, as we've mentioned this before, trained extensively. They come weeks ahead of the orientation itself. Um, and they are trained on all kinds of aspects of the college, much of which they kind of know informally because they've been a student, but trained on very specific information and um all kinds of team building and community building and how to relate to students and making sure they're not inadvertently alienating someone and just being kind of quote professional and but being so much fun. And they're really such a wonderful way for students to get acquainted with each other, and it's and you know, orientation groups can you know typically range from six, eight, ten students to you know, little larger, 15 students, and then there'll be obviously multiple orientation leaders in the group, but they'll take them throughout their orientation time there. So sometimes, depending on the size of the school, depending on how every school does it, sometimes they're just one day-long um situation, other times they're two or three days, um, and they're really a part, a huge part of the students' initial kind of getting to know the school, and they become, I don't know, want to say confidant per se, but really a student students trust them because they get to know them very quickly and they can ask them anything and they meet other students through them.

SPEAKER_02

And then when they sh when the students show up uh for school and you know, move in day and and they're starting, they have somebody they know and they often reach out.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, no, absolutely. And I was I was just gonna say, and does, you know, every kind of school does you utilizes their program differently, but often um the pr orientation leader will reach out to the student a couple times over the summer too and say, here's my contact info. If you yes, to stay connected and make sure if you have questions, and because so often students will have questions on, you know, I gotta do the new student checklist and I don't know how to log in, and where do I click on this and where do I go to give my health forms and all the things that am I allowed to bring a fridge? Yes, I guess. No, you can't bring your pet alligator, but you can bring, you know, so all the things, and I think it's just a tr again, a trusted mentor um that just make it such a fun introduction to the school to the school and um you know tell students things that they don't even know they don't know about living there and kind of what to bring. Because again, students aren't always great about reading everything they're sent, but once they're told by someone and um, you know, they they really connect with them um because they're with them all day long.

SPEAKER_02

And you know, when I've seen OLs in action when I've been at orientation, they have so much energy. Oh my gosh, and they're so excited, and so part of what I think they're working on doing is pumping the kids up to be excited to come because the the this the students are plenty nervous. Absolutely, they're really nervous, and they're being fed lots of information, and that's important. There's a lot of information they need, and they're being asked to do a lot of things. But a big part of what those OLs are doing is just getting them excited about being here and about meeting other people, and I mean it's the it's the attitude needs to sphere that's a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01

And they also kind of put help put things in perspective because they know the students are getting so much information that they're not gonna remember and kind of reminding them don't worry, you don't have to memorize any of this, and we're here to help, and kind of giving them shortcuts to the important stuff that they really need right away, and making them just feel connected to the school, to each other. And you know, if your student leaves with a you know kind of contact info of the orientation leader as well as a friend or two they've met, I mean, they're golden for the rest of the summer. They connect with that person and um, you know, can ask their questions as they come up because the most random things come up and they're like, Well, what department? How do I find who I talk? And if they they can just reach out right to the orientation leader, it just uh resolves so much anxiety, right, and angst right away, which is what we want.

Team Captains And Athlete Study Culture

SPEAKER_02

Um so that they're excited about coming and starting school. So those are really the kind of formal things. There are a couple others that I just wanted to touch on um in terms of peer support. We're talking about peers supporting peers. Um and one for excuse me, one for um students who are athletes uh is their team captain. And the the the team captain, I I think is usually elected by the team. Um and so especially if a student is coming in as a as a first-year student on the team. In fact, I just talked to a student um a couple of days ago who said I was really kind of nervous coming in to this team that's been, you know, it's been a good team and it's been been a tight team. They've been together for a year. Yeah, they've been together. And he said they made me feel so good, and the team captain, you know, told me things I needed to know. So um team captains are you know real real leaders, it's a it's a leadership position. They set the tone for the team. Sometimes they work at holding accountability. Accountable, yep, accountable for, you know, they they let them know the the kind of the team culture. Different teams have different different ways of being, being together, different expectations. Team Cap can can be a really good liaison between the new athlete and the coach. Absolutely sometimes, you know, don't tell the coach this, or you know, don't and the coach is gonna want to know this.

SPEAKER_01

Or make sure you get to these practices on time and they're not optional and and and those sorts of things.

SPEAKER_02

So it's a real opportunity for a new student who happens to be an athlete to connect with an upper class student in a more in a little bit more informal way. Um and and some of the expectations can be around academics, you know, we expect everyone on this team to to have this standard or uh around behavior.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and to kind of add to that, I mean there's two things. So one thing we we offer are kind of study hours, um, and and teams are supposed to actually do a certain number of hours, and uh, you know, we have them in our library now. Um, and it's a great opportunity. Um, even if in and some students feel like, well, I'm doing fine. I don't I don't need that. But you can always do better and you can always do yourself a favor by having some dedicated time, and you'll connect with your teammates in a way that, you know, yes, you're supposed to be studying, but there's, you know, you have some downtime and you can connect. So always encourage I always encourage students to go, and they're always glad they did because they get work done, they connect with students that maybe they haven't met so much on their team because maybe they're not in their major and they're a couple years old or something, but it's just a great opportunity um to to kind of get everything you possibly can out of out of this team environment. And you know, it's always good too to encourage your student athletes um to do whatever opportunities are presented. And by that I mean, for example, we have for new students, um, some folks do things like this at orientation or during cut welcome weekend. Um, but we've done this um for several years that seem to have worked very well, um, where we talk to coaches from all the sports, you know, the men's teams, women's teams, and we get a variety of um athletes that typically juniors and seniors that the coaches have recommended. May they may or may not be team captain, but they're leaders and they're role models, and they, you know, they do a great job kind of welcoming, you know, formally or informally, but they're they're a good they're good role models. And so we've had panels where um the staff in my office will ask them questions, and then you know, and the first year students are encouraged, required, minute, something, get your butt there. Um, and you know, most do, especially if they'll do what their coaches tell them to do. If their coaches say you need to get your butt there, they will. Um, but it's a great environment and avenue for students to learn from students who have been sick who are successful athletes and are doing well, and we can tell them the same thing till we're blue in the face, and they're like, Yeah, whatever. But then when they're, you know, folks that they kind of start, you know, have just met or look up to and they're telling them the same thing, like, yeah, make sure you don't wait till a month in to start your reading. Like you're never gonna catch up in that semester, you know, different things that make so much.

SPEAKER_02

They can help students understand how to find that balance between athletics and um academics, because if their academics slip, they're not going to play athletics. So um they often have a lot of advice around that sort of thing and even around schedules and and all I know when I've worked with athletes, one of the questions I often ask them is are you are you better as a student when you're in season or not? And so and they really do, and I think they get some of this information from their team captains and the the leaders on the team of saying, yeah, when I when I'm in season, I want a little bit lighter schedule. I want to, I wanna maybe classes that aren't quite as heavy, or maybe I'll even do one less class or something. And then I have other students who say, oh no, time management. I need to be student. When I'm in season, I'm focused, I am, you know, I bring it on. I that's when I do my best work. So and then I get a little lazy when I'm off season.

SPEAKER_01

So no, and then and that speaks to like you're saying, scheduling for specific courses too, for specific majors. Um, you know, make sure if you're taking that lab, don't take it during our season because that's gonna go till 10 o'clock at night and blah, blah, blah. So, I mean, I think it's so helpful for students to relate to others. And and and one thing, you know, too. Well, of course, we tell students, you know, this is your make sure you look XYZ place for your registration day on your on your portal and all those things, and make sure you register first thing you can so you get the classes you need. And you know, you can inwardly hear, see their eyes rolling, right? But when when the when the team captain or the team leaders are there saying, Listen, you don't want any more, you know, afternoon courses um on when you're in season and your games start at one in the afternoon, so you need to register as soon as you possibly can. Do not miss your registration time, or you are not gonna get the class times you want, or you're gonna end up with classes that you may, you know, not have been your first choice. And so things like that, they'll resonate with them in a way that they kind of believe more so than when we say it.

Friends, Roommates, And Healthy Circles

SPEAKER_02

And you know, I think for students who are not athletes, uh sometimes if they find um a group, a club or something like that, the same sort of thing can happen. It's not quite as formal. Yeah, it's not quite as formal as as athletics teams, athletic teams. But all right, I just want to touch on one more because it's often, you know, you know, we don't think of it necessarily as peer support. Um, but that is simply students' friends, the friends that they have. Um having them think carefully about the friends that they choose uh and whether they have similar values uh and are going to be a a support for them. And we have a um I think I think we have a I know there's a an article on the website, and I think we have a podcast. This we're we're over 150 episodes now, and I'm trying to try to remember all of them. Um about about friends and and all of that, that often the friends when when students first come to college, their friends are friends of convenience. They're the people that live on their floor, they're the people that might be in a class with them. And then as they move along throughout first year and definitely into second year, sometimes those friends fall away and they begin to find the friends who really they have things in common. But but recognizing, I mean, sometimes sometimes those friendships formed in college are the ones that last a lifetime, right? They're the maids of honor and the and the groomsman and the best man and um and the godfathers and the godmothers and and all of those. Um, and so helping students think about, you know, who their friends are, how they choose their friends, their roommate does not need to be their best friend.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, and I see that uh we see that often, and we often encourage students not to, if they're coming from the same high school and in the same friend group, it's not it's often not the best idea to room with someone they already know.

SPEAKER_02

You know, I have some friends that I dearly love, but I would not want to live with. And it's a different thing. So not not feeling, you know, if your roommate doesn't become your best friend, that means they're not a good roommate. No, if you have similar, you know, ways of living, that's just fine.

SPEAKER_01

And um and it's hard to be around the same people no matter how much you enjoy them 24-7. And it's often it it it can be complicated and difficult to have a roommate who you whom you were thinking might be your best friend or are thinking you know, you're if you're with each other a lot, um, especially if you're in the same major too, like it's sometimes helpful to have um, you know, just different outlets and you know, different ways of being. And and you know, one thing I tell students when they've, you know, they're in high school and they're kind of filling out the form and they're I say, you know what, it's great that you'll, you know, you'll know someone at the school that you can always connect with. But if you room with each if you each room with a different roommate, you still have each other, but then you also have your new roommate whom you'll be hopefully friendly with and meet their friends, and then you're Current friends, roommates, and that like your circle widens exponentially. And then you just have such a bigger network and people you're friendly with. And again, no, everyone doesn't have to be best friends, but friendly and places to go and things to do and friendly faces on campus, and you just widen your circle so much more from the get-go. Good advice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So so just, you know, having having students sort of think about the the support that friends can be. And are they choosing the friends that do support them? You know, does this friend lift you up or does this friend bring you down?

SPEAKER_01

Right. Or does this friend kind of encourage you to make not the best choices and you notice that after the semester?

SPEAKER_02

And then students also thinking about how to be a good friend, you know, because that sense of support, I, you know, I see such tight friendships in in college. I mean, when you're living together or spending this kind of time and you're going through a kind of an emotional those four years of college, there's a lot going on. And so the people that that you're with, and I've had some students, that sense of belonging, I've had some students say, I'm really, you know, I'm toying with transferring, I'm not sure about things, but I can't leave my friends. Exactly. And and I'm gonna stay here because I have such such good friends now.

SPEAKER_01

And and I've seen, I mean, I remember 100 years ago when I was in school, and um, you know, there was, you know, you meet people and everybody's from kind of different places, and you get to know folks. And I remember um one of our friends, she had kind of changed majors a couple of times, wasn't super sure what she wanted to do, and then really started talking about this kind of science major she was interested in. But, you know, you had to write a paper or, you know, not a one or a few paragraphs just to explain why you wanted to be in this major. And she kind of kept putting it off and she's like, Well, I don't really know, but we all were listening to her and knew that this is what she wanted to do. It's like this stupid paper is really preventing you. So one of our friends who actually was her roommate at the time was like, sit your butt down. I'm writing this with you right now. I'm helping you do this because this is we can hear and tell you what you've been telling us. Yes, we're hearing you, and I think you're, you know, she was gun shy about pulling the trigger because she'd tried a couple other things, but it's like all of your decisions have led you to this point and all your kind of nice story. Literally, and she helped her write the three paragraphs, and it was like literally she'd still be wandering around, I think, trying to make up her mind. And it was just such a great and you know, they're the we're we're all the same age. It's not like any of us had any whatever, but it's like we listen when you with good people who are looking out for you, you kind of listen and hear and can say things in a way that resonate when you're in a kind of state of flurry or whatever.

Encouraging Students To Lead And Serve

SPEAKER_02

So, bottom line, um, I think of what we what we've been trying to put out there is uh there are lots of opportunities for students to work with other students that can be really enriching and uh and and helpful in a lot of ways. In a way we're not saying the professionals aren't doing their job and aren't good to work with, but that there is this extra layer that can that can be helpful and and and so maybe talking to your student or you know, hopefully parents maybe can feel a little better if the student comes home or you know talks to you and says, Well, I'm working with a peer tutor, and not feeling like, oh, that's not not gonna work as well. Or um, and then it and you know, as you you know your student, thinking about are there any of these kinds of positions you might want to encourage them to investigate and and do, because it is uh on both sides of the desk, it's so many benefits.

SPEAKER_01

And I and I think you're so right because I think so many parents don't necessarily think of those as opportunities, but especially for students who have probably you know, many students have very busy schedules. So trying to get to an off-campus job or commit to something every weekend or whatever is really challenging. But if they're comfortable in a subject and they want a tutor and it's their own choice, their own choice, and also what hours they choose, you know. So if they don't have to make an appointment for this week if they can't do it, but if they can do a few hours here and there when they can, that's great, you know, spending money and you know, again, just the benefits on both sides of the equation um are just wonderful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So parents have a conversation with your student and and and relax a little bit and feel comfortable that um there are lots of people uh of all sorts around your student taking care of them. Well said. So thanks for being with us. Thanks. If you made it here to the end, thanks for sticking with us to the end. We hope we gave you something that is useful and you will have some conversations with your student. And so we will see you next time. Thank you so much.