Speaker 1: I've got a question for you.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you ever fart in front of Mr?
Speaker 1: Sometimes, I do, and how does Mr react?
Speaker 2: It depends on how the fart is presented.
Speaker 1: On a silver platter or on a paper plate.
Speaker 2: If it's a funny, flirty, fun situation, then that's okay.
Speaker 2: If I just have trapped gas and I'm deliberately pushing out, it's not the same, then right.
Speaker 2: But it might be cuter sometimes to just tee, hee, hee and run out of the room and fart and then run back in the room.
Speaker 3: That's kind of cute.
Speaker 1: That'd be funny, particularly if it was resonant enough that they could hear it from the other room.
Speaker 2: They still knew that you did it.
Speaker 2: You had the courtesy of such sleep, such courtesy and love that you went out of the room to do it Stepping out of the kitchen to a different room.
Speaker 2: I don't do like my dad at the kitchen table and say pull my finger what he honestly did.
Speaker 1: This is enormous, with your host Harley and KC, my view out the window right now.
Speaker 1: This is a little behind the curtain.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at our neighbor's aspen tree, which is about three feet from our window.
Speaker 1: We do live in the city, so I'm looking out the window at some aspen trees and the sun is reflecting on them and they're so bright and white looking and the Colorado sky is so bright, blue and electric, with clouds floating by.
Speaker 1: It is absolutely the most gorgeous day.
Speaker 1: It's just, you know, one of the things I never get tired of.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I don't even notice the mountains around here, but I never get tired of the blue sky.
Speaker 2: It says that, or they say it says they say that as the longer we live here, the less we notice the mountain.
Speaker 2: I believe that I remember when I first moved here.
Speaker 2: I took note of them every day, daily I noticed the mountains, but sometimes I forget to now.
Speaker 1: I noticed the mountains when Sarge and I are driving home from your house.
Speaker 1: I used to notice them when I drove to work.
Speaker 1: There's one spot near a private school on the University Boulevard that's kind of wide open and I could see the front range and it was just gorgeous.
Speaker 2: So what have we been doing today?
Speaker 1: What have I been doing today?
Speaker 1: What have we been doing today?
Speaker 1: We took the little barking.
Speaker 2: Where for no?
Speaker 2: What's that orphan?
Speaker 1: Oh, we took the leader where for no, the little Tubelard for a walk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we did.
Speaker 2: And then we almost didn't record because we started hanging out.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 2: And when we began to hang out, then trouble ensues.
Speaker 2: We don't get anything done.
Speaker 2: I have a theory on that.
Speaker 1: So I think my whole life I've actually been ADD.
Speaker 1: I think that's a real part of my life.
Speaker 1: You know, when we were kids, nobody knew anything about it.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a diagnosable thing, it wasn't written about, there were no treatments, there was nothing known.
Speaker 1: They just told you to shut up and sit, still, focus, do your homework, whatever.
Speaker 2: Or wow, they got a short attention span Right, that's a wild kid.
Speaker 1: I think the other thing that's happening besides you know, some of us that were actually have had ADD since we were children I think it's that the internet and these little short videos and these little constant change of subject matter are shortening our attention span.
Speaker 1: So I think we're really becoming more attention deficit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 2: And do you do this?
Speaker 2: Here's how I know it for myself, like I'll think of something I want to research or look at or see on the iPad and by the time I get there and bypass the other things in the way on, the iPad is in my way of getting to that thing I was going to do.
Speaker 2: Now I've forgotten my original intent.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, and that's the goal of the internet actually is, because when you're trying to get from this page about fly fishing to this page about planting geraniums in your garden, there's 10 billion ads, there's 10 billion flashing messages at you and they are trying to steal you away to look at their message.
Speaker 1: Yeah and so, yeah, so I mean it's literally training us to be not focused.
Speaker 2: And even though we're acutely aware of it, if it's still doing it, if it's still working, what's it doing to the people that aren't being, you know, self aware about that?
Speaker 2: I?
Speaker 1: think that's what's really amazing.
Speaker 1: We have the experience of living without it and now seeing it, but there's a whole generation now that just takes it for granted.
Speaker 1: That's the way it is, and it's amazing, yeah.
Speaker 1: So I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that when we get together sometimes it takes a while to settle down sort of focus on what we need to be doing or want to be doing.
Speaker 1: It's not even what we need to be doing, we're just hanging out.
Speaker 2: Well, we're expert level.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 1: Does anybody know how to hang out anymore?
Speaker 2: I don't know if they do.
Speaker 2: That's a thing too right, just to hang out, I think.
Speaker 2: Even when we hang out often I think I'm the guilty one of this I'll start some music going, so maybe that's not even a totally good example of hanging out, because I'm still bringing something.
Speaker 1: Sometimes that music that you bring in also is on the television and the bar.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you'll come in and say, have you seen this song?
Speaker 1: Music video.
Speaker 1: Which is a funny thing.
Speaker 1: Think about that.
Speaker 1: Have you seen this song Right?
Speaker 1: I don't think people know how to do, not as good as we used to be at it.
Speaker 2: I know that Mr told me the other day I don't know where it came up, but a picture ofa rubber ball and the little jacks.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I had a ton of those.
Speaker 1: They were like 15 cents at the time.
Speaker 2: He said oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: My sister and I used to play on the step of the house for hours with the ball and the jacks and be totally entertained.
Speaker 1: We did it on the steps of the house too.
Speaker 1: It was that fun on the back steps.
Speaker 2: And I said I don't think kids, I don't know if they're capable of living that simply now we're expecting so much more input from so many more places all at the same time, I have employees that when they take lunch, watch videos.
Speaker 1: That's great, I mean, I don't have a problem with it.
Speaker 1: I just think it's unfortunate in a way, that they're not just sitting there and thinking, enjoying their food.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've been watching a true detective night country with Jody Foster and we did actually sit down, the two of us, and say, okay, we're going to watch this and we're not bringing our iPad, we're not bringing our phone, we're actually going to sit and just watch TV like we used to just watch TV without any help.
Speaker 2: I feel like it started innocently enough for me and it was with a laptop, because that was kind of my first portable enough thing.
Speaker 2: I would bring a laptop to the TV area with me and then, as I saw an actor or heard music or some other thing, I could look it up and find out more information.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fun and that was nice.
Speaker 2: I really liked being able to do that.
Speaker 2: But then it kind of just expanded to where sometimes I'd only be half ways paying attention to what I'm watching on TV, and now I'm looking at I don't know some crazy TikTok or something at the same time.
Speaker 2: That I don't need to do that, I can focus on one thing.
Speaker 1: You know, one of the self-help books I'm reading currently actually, I don't think I'm finished this one yet talked about a therapy that tries to stimulate or tries to recreate the effect that REM sleep has on us, and REM stands for rapid eye movement.
Speaker 1: I think it's a deep portion of our sleep, the deepest sleep we're in, and our eyes actually move back and forth and our brain processes a significant amount of information.
Speaker 1: And I heard that if you don't get good REM sleep, you don't feel rested.
Speaker 1: When you wake up in the morning, you don't like open your eyes and go oh look, it's sunny, what a beautiful day, let's get going.
Speaker 1: So this therapy is actually sort of distract your attention.
Speaker 1: You hold a little vibrating thing in your hand and then that you put on headphones and you get a vibration and a sound, a beep on one side, and then it goes to the other side, and then it goes from the right to the left, to the right to the left, to the right to the left.
Speaker 1: And as this is going on and your mind is actually kind of being distracted, you communicate with yourself about something that's important, maybe something that you're sad about or something that's been traumatic for you.
Speaker 1: And as you think about this, somehow it opens up a pathway between your conscious and your subconscious mind, much like REM sleep, and I thought well, isn't that interesting?
Speaker 1: Because the effect that that would have in helping you feel better is the totally opposite effect of being distracted with the TV and the computer and that you were just describing.
Speaker 1: So I guess it depends how it's used.
Speaker 2: There's definitely a thing there, when you're trying so hard to get an answer or find a resolution or solve a problem by the light of day, sometimes it just gets bigger, it gets worse, and sometimes you just do have that weird little wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly, oh, it seems so simple.
Speaker 2: Why didn't I think of this all along?
Speaker 1: I want to go backwards just a minute.
Speaker 1: We were talking about hanging out.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: And I had a thought while we were doing that.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm focused today, but for the moment I'm focused.
Speaker 1: When I used to come over to record at Tiki, I would knock on the door before I'd come in.
Speaker 1: Finally, I got yelled at because I don't remember if it was Mr or you who said the door's open, just come in, you don't need to knock, we know you're going to be here, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 1: And it made me think about being a child and living in a small town.
Speaker 1: The door was always open and people always just walked in.
Speaker 1: You'd hear knock, knock, maxine.
Speaker 1: And then the screen door would open and close and next thing, you know some friend or some neighbor who was close by just popped in and headed to the kitchen and there was Maxine doing something in the kitchen, maybe you didn't see anybody, so you do a you or hello or a little something, a little, a little bit of a warning that you were there, but but not much.
Speaker 1: The murderers are here.
Speaker 2: My mom had the Avon lady come to the farmhouse, oh really, and she'd drive the car onto the property and get out the car with her Avon lady bag and come into the house and into the kitchen and pour herself a cup of coffee like as if she lived there.
Speaker 1: But now we schedule, is it okay to call?
Speaker 1: We don't even call someone anymore without telling them first.
Speaker 1: And you text somebody that and then they respond in 10 minutes I'll call you.
Speaker 1: And then 10 minutes goes by and they don't call and you just figure while they got off on something but you don't call them back because they were the last one who say I'll call you.
Speaker 1: And then at some point in time they'll call back and say oh sorry, I got pulled away at another project or whatever it is, and they'll call you back.
Speaker 1: Hanging out is really hard to do.
Speaker 2: It's very different.
Speaker 2: Well, I told you with my truck situation and my truck's getting fixed, and I didn't call them on the phone, I actually physically drove to the dealership and went up to the service counter so I could eyeball somebody and talk to them face to face.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, and I think that for boomers and for people that are in our age range or a little younger or a little older, not being able to talk to somebody on the phone is very frustrating.
Speaker 1: But this whole new generation has the exact opposite opinion they do not want to talk, and I just don't know why that is.
Speaker 2: So then that might make them not very good at hanging out if they can't talk.
Speaker 1: So what do we do when we hang out?
Speaker 1: What's the purpose of hanging?
Speaker 2: out For you and I, or we, as in a society.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess that could go either way.
Speaker 1: Maybe our purpose of hanging out would be the same reason for other people hanging out.
Speaker 2: The overarching reason is social interaction, but we're of an age where we're pretty good at that.
Speaker 2: That's why I tell you expert level, we can make the hours pass and don't even realize how much time has gone by.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's a working person versus a non-working person's existence?
Speaker 1: Because when you're working, you're at work, and then you get home from work and you're gonna have dinner with your spouse or your partner or by yourself or whatever.
Speaker 1: You're gonna go out.
Speaker 1: So you plan more around your life.
Speaker 1: And when you're retired it's like why would I go on anywhere?
Speaker 1: Just come on over.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 2: I know when I was working I was better at keeping track of time and probably in some ways got more things done.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that needed to be done.
Speaker 2: Then, now that I'm not working, I have to say, okay, today I do need to make a doctor's appointment.
Speaker 2: I got a call and schedule my tax appointment I got.
Speaker 2: I just write it I'm old, I write it down on a piece of paper I go here's the things, items I'm gonna do today.
Speaker 2: If I don't write them down, if I don't check it off, it's gonna get tabled again till tomorrow.
Speaker 1: So Well hanging out for me I think it mostly in my childhood Hanging out is having friends over or going to a friend's house and having no plans.
Speaker 1: What do you wanna do?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You wanna just have a glass of wine.
Speaker 1: Do you wanna go for a walk?
Speaker 1: Do you wanna watch a movie?
Speaker 1: You wanna play a card game?
Speaker 1: Hey, you wanna see this new video I just saw.
Speaker 1: It's a no-plan situation.
Speaker 1: Well, it's real, organic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Whatever happens happens and all parties involved are okay with that.
Speaker 1: And usually, what's the ultimate end to that situation.
Speaker 2: To have fun.
Speaker 2: I mean, is that okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we feel connected.
Speaker 1: We feel relaxed and we had fun.
Speaker 1: We disconnected from the world for a moment to be with our friends and hang out.
Speaker 2: Laugh, smile, have fun.
Speaker 1: I have realized, though, in recent years, that the expression hang out for younger people, particularly if they're on an app, can mean a totally different thing hey, you wanna hang out?
Speaker 1: What that means is you wanna come over and screw your brains out.
Speaker 2: That's a Netflix and chill situation, yeah yeah exactly Colab.
Speaker 2: Now it's a collab.
Speaker 1: That's a collab.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, it's a collab.
Speaker 1: I think those get videoed though, but yeah, collabs are videoed, and then the other one's probably on A hangout might not get videoed.
Speaker 1: Is it possible to hang out without a cell phone?
Speaker 2: Well, it's great to hang out without one, if you can separate yourself from your cell phone.
Speaker 2: That's the thing you have to learn how to do.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to do that now.
Speaker 1: I find my cell phone well, I'm so easily distracted, just in general, that I find if my cell phone is beeping or flashing or doing something that I'm even more distracted.
Speaker 1: Ah, what the hell is that?
Speaker 2: Speaking of what is it?
Speaker 1: Adult content, nudity, strong sexual content what the heck?
Speaker 2: Are you sitting on the clicker?
Speaker 1: I might be.
Speaker 2: So the TV just came on all by itself, as we didn't expect it to, did you?
Speaker 3: Did you hear?
Speaker 1: that last line, that person saying I have no pussy.
Speaker 1: Is that what it was?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Is that from Dick's the musical?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, Okay, behind the curtain.
Speaker 1: This is a good behind the curtain.
Speaker 1: So we're sitting in the very very way back of the Gilpin Ranch.
Speaker 1: Yoda is sitting right next to me, little cute ugly.
Speaker 1: Yoda, who's the sweetest of all.
Speaker 1: Yoda, who's the sweetest dog.
Speaker 1: He stretched his head out and gave a big yawn and the little remote for the Apple TV was under his head.
Speaker 1: So Yoda actually triggered the TV to start Playing the movie.
Speaker 2: Playing well was it the trailer or the?
Speaker 1: movie.
Speaker 1: Oh, I think he played the movie.
Speaker 2: It sounded like the movie was gonna start.
Speaker 1: It was the very ending of the movie.
Speaker 1: And we probably.
Speaker 1: When Sarge and I watched it, we probably shut it off before the very end.
Speaker 1: So it resumed, so let me tell you about this movie.
Speaker 3: The musical.
Speaker 1: And I'm using the term loosely- Movie gravateers air quotes movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's some good people in it.
Speaker 1: Nathan Lane.
Speaker 2: Megan.
Speaker 1: Megan Mullally.
Speaker 2: And the other Megan.
Speaker 2: Who's the other Megan the stallion?
Speaker 1: Oh, megan the stallion, I didn't realize there were two Megans in it.
Speaker 1: They spell their names differently, they do.
Speaker 1: And then there's a cameo performance by Megan Mullally's real husband, who is Nick Offerman.
Speaker 1: And you have the hots for him.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Does everybody.
Speaker 2: He's sexy in a not stereotypical fashion.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He's very straight laced, very conservative looking.
Speaker 2: It's that total I don't know big dick energy kind of.
Speaker 2: I mean he just exudes some kind of confidence.
Speaker 2: I think he does.
Speaker 1: It's a confidence.
Speaker 1: He's so self assured that he's just instantly attractive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also very funny, and funny is important.
Speaker 2: We should all hang out with people that make us laugh.
Speaker 1: Speaking of funny last week, when we were planning this show, you said that you had a story you wanted to tell me and I said don't tell me, save it for the recording.
Speaker 1: So I will be surprised.
Speaker 1: And do you think either one of us can remember what the story is?
Speaker 1: Casey says to me didn't you write it down somewhere?
Speaker 1: And I said no, because if I'd written it down then I would have known what the story was about and I reminded you what's that story.
Speaker 1: But you didn't write it down and you have no idea.
Speaker 2: Not a clue.
Speaker 1: So there's a great story that you're going to hear, maybe sometime.
Speaker 1: If Casey remembers it, that's part of the hanging out and the attention being put on different things.
Speaker 2: That's the allure and the charm of hanging out.
Speaker 1: Now, when we were doing our little warm up.
Speaker 1: Oh no, there's no H in warm.
Speaker 2: Is there not.
Speaker 1: Is that a warm up?
Speaker 2: Warm up.
Speaker 1: I like that, though Warm up.
Speaker 1: What could a warm up?
Speaker 2: be Getting ready for a sexual encounter, whore.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, it's a warm up.
Speaker 1: It's whore and warm up together.
Speaker 1: Warm up.
Speaker 1: I like that you were actually reading me a list of something that you had come across or you had made.
Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, which one was it?
Speaker 2: I didn't totally make it.
Speaker 2: I started seeing something like it and then, since it was just Valentine's Day, and since it was just the Super Bowl Right.
Speaker 1: Although today is March 1st.
Speaker 2: Yeah Well, by just that's relative right.
Speaker 2: It is the just is relative, and the Super Bowl this year also means Travis, kelsey and Taylor.
Speaker 1: Swift.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, Boy, hasn't that gotten the public's interest in attention?
Speaker 2: And it's polarizing too.
Speaker 2: So that's interesting to me.
Speaker 2: I'm only.
Speaker 2: I'm polarized in the sense that I love love and I love young love and I love thinking about when I had a new young love in the tingly.
Speaker 2: Oh, the happy thoughts and the yeah, and the way you feel and how excited you are and it and everything's so bright and shiny and new, awesome.
Speaker 2: It's an amazing feeling.
Speaker 2: It's not natural to have that all the time, but too bad we couldn't get that back once in a while.
Speaker 2: Or then I started thinking, well, how can we?
Speaker 2: Or?
Speaker 3: or what can we?
Speaker 2: do what made that time feel like that.
Speaker 1: Well, it was a time of discovery, right.
Speaker 1: We knew nothing about the other person in the beginning of the relationship, right?
Speaker 2: So then I just started kind of looking a few things up and then also jotting things down I would think of and to, either to get that back or to reclaim that or to remember what was good about things.
Speaker 2: So I just wrote a list of little kind of like blurbs or affirmations or little sayings, little hints, tips, tricks, whatever you want to call it for.
Speaker 2: That Sure Can you share?
Speaker 2: Some I can, if I didn't lose it.
Speaker 1: Lose what your brain.
Speaker 2: Right, like the story I was going to tell oh wait, the iPad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's your brain.
Speaker 2: The iPad is my brain.
Speaker 2: What will we do with?
Speaker 2: We didn't have our iPad, so I started thinking of things.
Speaker 2: What can you do, like to keep it spicy or to you know?
Speaker 1: just to be good with all that.
Speaker 1: Now you and Mr have been together for over 30 years and Sarge and I are having our 25th anniversary next, this coming summer.
Speaker 1: When you've got that much history, how do you flirt.
Speaker 2: Well, you can still look at each other in a certain way, or you know it's how you touch somebody, or I'm often passing by on that way to do something else.
Speaker 2: But I might give a little nipple tweak or I don't know, just some little.
Speaker 1: Do you ever walk up to Sarge?
Speaker 1: I Sarge, that's my husband.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you probably.
Speaker 1: I hope not.
Speaker 1: Do you ever walk up to Sarge and just grab his butt?
Speaker 2: I haven't yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, do you walk up to Mr and maybe just tickle his butt or grab his butt or give him a hug from behind or say something nice in his ear?
Speaker 1: Right, I do that.
Speaker 1: I don't think I do it enough though.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if that's really flirting or if that's reassuring.
Speaker 2: Which is still good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, flirting to me would be ooh, those pants give you kind of a nice bulge, that's true.
Speaker 1: Or I love those boots.
Speaker 1: They're so butch they make me kind of get a semi.
Speaker 1: That's to me flirting, but it's kind of over, it's not very subtle.
Speaker 2: Well, how about if you're at the store Kohl's Flirting at Kohl's?
Speaker 2: How about if you're on one side of the clothing rack and they're on the other side and you kind of peek through and you kind of, you know, raise your eyebrow?
Speaker 1: Oh, like you're cruising them in the store.
Speaker 2: That's kind of fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's flirty.
Speaker 2: A fun little flirty thing to do.
Speaker 1: That is kind of flirty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1: It's not dirty, it's flirty, right, exactly that.
Speaker 2: What else?
Speaker 2: I think it's really important always to be aware and I'm going to throw out one of these terms their love language.
Speaker 2: I wish we didn't have to say it that way, but maybe I won't.
Speaker 2: I'll say know what they love and how they love, and then do that thing.
Speaker 1: Oh, so give me an example.
Speaker 1: How could you do that for Mr?
Speaker 2: I can tell you the real down and dirty like if I get in the doghouse.
Speaker 2: The way to get out of the doghouse is to buy Mr A cookbook, because he loves to cook and loves food and loves recipes.
Speaker 2: A paper cookbook, yeah.
Speaker 2: A real physical book, oh, wow, yeah, that would be a great way to.
Speaker 2: I know that he loves that.
Speaker 2: And a good way for me to show love is to you know, to gift him that thing.
Speaker 2: But love language kind of things could be.
Speaker 2: You know, are they a touch person and so it's good to check in by touching them or hugging them or holding hand or you know that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Right Love language could also be making the bed or doing the laundry.
Speaker 1: I mean that could be a very romantic and appreciated thing that actually makes your partner, your husband or whoever you're with feel kind of warm towards you.
Speaker 2: But if you know what they like and you should do that thing, then also you should know what they don't like and then don't do that, right?
Speaker 2: But that's sometimes hard to do, sometimes it is, but you don't have to leave your shoes in piles all around the house.
Speaker 1: No, that's true.
Speaker 1: You know, I've got a question for you.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you ever fart in front of Mr?
Speaker 2: Sometimes I do, I don't do like my dad at the kitchen table and say pull my finger.
Speaker 2: You know which?
Speaker 1: he honestly did.
Speaker 1: I can't remember my father occasionally farting at the dinner table, and I can hear Maxine go.
Speaker 2: Chuck.
Speaker 1: And we would all be giggling.
Speaker 1: You know, my sister and I would be giggling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's still kind of funny then.
Speaker 2: So if it's still funny, it's okay, or anyway, my dad thought it was funny.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been doing something serious and a fart slipped out and you just both laugh really, really hard?
Speaker 2: When it's unexpected, then that's funny.
Speaker 1: You lean over to give him a kiss if he's standing at the stove or at the sink or something on his neck, and right as you bend over to kiss him, you rip one, or you know you're bringing him coffee and bed, which is very nice, right?
Speaker 1: I think that's a tradition you have, isn't?
Speaker 2: it Every day.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 1: So you take Mr some coffee and you lean over to put it on the bedside table or wherever, whatever your routine is, and just as you're bending over, a little kind of slips out.
Speaker 2: If it's funny, it's funny.
Speaker 1: It's funny, it's funny.
Speaker 2: Farts can be funny.
Speaker 1: They can be.
Speaker 1: They can also be not funny, but they can also show your partner or spouse that you don't care.
Speaker 2: You know, I will take a paper towel and cut a heart out of the paper towel and then put a cookie, and then I actually deliver the coffee to him in bed with the cookie that's on a paper towel, doily cut in a heart shape.
Speaker 2: No, and that's pretty nice, isn't it?
Speaker 1: You don't do, I do do you're such a romantic guy not hardly, but, but I can do that.
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, I'm artistic so.
Speaker 2: I like to cut a heart.
Speaker 1: Sorry, if you're listening, don't get any ideas.
Speaker 2: Huh that's really, really sweet.
Speaker 2: There's always things you can do that don't directly involve your partner but make you a better partner.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about like beaking highly of them to other people bad mouthing your partner in front of other people.
Speaker 1: It's not a nice thing to do and it it doesn't give anything positive or come out in any good way ever in the long term.
Speaker 2: Yeah, other people who knows what they think, they might think a lot of things, but also for you that's not good.
Speaker 2: It's just not good for your psyche either.
Speaker 1: No, that's some good advice.
Speaker 1: And the other little words of wisdom for relationship, oh, I got a bunch of them.
Speaker 2: Some are cliche, like communicate about things that involve that each other.
Speaker 2: You don't have to tell everything in the world about everything.
Speaker 2: Uh-huh so you don't have to necessarily come home every day and talk about everything that happened in your day, especially if too much of it is bad and you're gonna bring somebody down.
Speaker 2: Sometimes that brings you more down too, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Maybe you need to move on to some fun, happy stuff instead you know I maybe, if it was new news and it had a solution or you know you could bring it to our clothes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be interesting.
Speaker 1: Say there's something at work that really bothers you, or and it's every day, or it's a aching pain in your body or whatever.
Speaker 1: If you keep bringing it up and talking about it, it gets really old, right?
Speaker 1: I think the other person really wants you not to talk about it.
Speaker 1: They're not saying I don't care about you or I don't understand how you're feeling.
Speaker 1: They're just saying you know, I just really don't want to hear about this again or one more time, or see you relive this situation or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: So that's something I'm working on, but communication is important.
Speaker 2: I think I know one of the things that we do is we take car rides.
Speaker 2: We blame it on the dogs.
Speaker 2: Oh, we better take the dogs for a ride, like they need to go for a ride.
Speaker 2: But that's how we, that's what we do, that's how we blame it.
Speaker 2: And then there's something about that riding around, sitting in the car and visiting with each other and I don't know, maybe it's that you're.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you can get into a little even more heavier conversations.
Speaker 2: You're not directly staring at each other, you're kind of looking ahead, watching the road and whatever.
Speaker 2: But you can, you're there together in the car and you can have these Conversations and do some good communication.
Speaker 1: I just had a brainstorm.
Speaker 1: Okay as you were telling me about going for a ride.
Speaker 1: That little story I thought you know.
Speaker 1: We talked about this on the podcast before have we.
Speaker 1: I think we talked about on the podcast before.
Speaker 1: Then I started doubting myself and I I thought this is the problem with hanging out and not recording right is I thought, did we just discuss this in person and I'm hearing it for the second time, or is it the second time on the podcast and that's, that's a problem.
Speaker 1: Right because our you know our listeners gosh.
Speaker 1: If you hear anything, people, if anybody hears us repeating something over and over again, you're thinking, oh, those guys have gone downtown, they're really ready for the nursing home any day now.
Speaker 2: Oh, we're just driving home the point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just just let us know, because we don't want to repeat things over and over again.
Speaker 2: But sure we do.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they're good tips.
Speaker 1: I think going for a ride is is really true.
Speaker 1: We did that for the first time because of you and mister.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sometime between New Year's and and Now I don't remember when it was exactly, but it was a Sunday I said let's be Sunday drivers, let's go get some gas.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 1: So we drove.
Speaker 1: We drove down a major street in Denver called Broadway, as as you get further and further from town, the gas gets cheaper and cheaper.
Speaker 1: So we kept going further and further and further and the gas got cheaper and cheaper and we thought, well, how low do we think the gas is going to get?
Speaker 1: And then we got to the road Going east, which is where my store is, and I know what the gas prices are there because I see it every day and I said let's go check and see if they're any lower.
Speaker 1: We went over there.
Speaker 1: They were the lowest we had seen, so we bought it.
Speaker 2: I think really it's kind of an old tradition as I think about it.
Speaker 2: I think about like my grandparents would drive seven miles into town and Go to the Dairy Queen, yeah, and get a Malted, then go drive over to the lake, to Storm Lake, and they'd parked the car Facing the lake and they'd sit there and eat their ice cream and look at the water.
Speaker 2: But they probably visited too.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I wasn't there, but I'm guessing that they had a conversation while they were there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, what?
Speaker 1: What made me really think of that is we had a really nice conversation, yeah, and we stopped at a car dealer on the way back, because Sundays in Colorado they're closed.
Speaker 1: It's the only day you can look at cars and I get attacked by a salesperson, right.
Speaker 1: So we stopped and did that, but it was so enjoyable I'm.
Speaker 1: I want to do it again.
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I loved to drive right and I wanted to drive and we didn't feel guilty about it.
Speaker 1: You know we put gas in the car.
Speaker 1: There wasn't a Concern about greenhouse gases, there wasn't a concern about running out of gas For time there it was a little dicey.
Speaker 1: I think it was around 76 when the oil embargo from the Middle East was occurring.
Speaker 1: Right except for that, you know, going out for a drive is fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes we say we're gonna drive in quotes into town so we'll come this direction towards you and see what there is to see.
Speaker 2: Many times We'll go like around Washington Park, so max the dog can look at other dogs because he loves to see another dog.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's his favorite thing he's so happy my mom's dog love, oh my god, he loves to see another dog.
Speaker 2: He.
Speaker 2: He doesn't bark or anything, he just looks at him and he gets that.
Speaker 2: He gets that pointer.
Speaker 2: Look, you know, they get that real stern.
Speaker 2: Look in their face and they stick their neck forward and point and they just stare.
Speaker 3: He stares, yeah, he loves it.
Speaker 2: And then when we, after we, drive by it, then he kind of sits back and then his tongues hangs out real far, you know, indicating that he's, you know, pretty happy with himself.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen that dog.
Speaker 1: I guess that's funny.
Speaker 2: So we, yeah, so we do that, and or sometimes we're like, oh, we don't want to deal with traffic, so then we had east instead and we're kind of like in the country.
Speaker 2: Yeah well, I have read I don't know if it's true, somebody can correct me if they like that that dogs only see very super clearly for like 20 feet.
Speaker 2: Really, that's not that far.
Speaker 2: No and then, after 20 feet, things start getting more blurry.
Speaker 2: Huh so, and I don't know if that's accurate or not, but I've read that before is it just senior dogs?
Speaker 2: No, just yeah.
Speaker 1: No, just because you're describing my world.
Speaker 1: Uh-huh, me too.
Speaker 2: Our world gets closer and closer closer yeah.
Speaker 2: The other thing you can do, I think, if you're a loving partner, is you look for the best in your person and you focus on those things, the things that you love about them and tell them that's what we did in the beginning.
Speaker 2: Yeah again back to the beginning.
Speaker 2: If you really, you know, want to think about how you thought about your relationship when it first started, was you didn't?
Speaker 2: That's where maybe their things they do wrong that you can overlook like you.
Speaker 2: Like you put up with their socks on the on the bedroom floor at that point you didn't focus on that Right.
Speaker 2: You focused on something else that you liked about them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one of the things I think of is quirky things about the person that we love their personality or the way they do Something or the way something looks.
Speaker 1: You know it might be.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's a little quirky and a little odd, and when the you first fell in love with them, you would focus on it and go I just love that.
Speaker 1: It's so different, it's so cute as part of their personality.
Speaker 1: And then is you know, maybe you get older you say, well, why don't they just go to the doctor and have that fixed, or what?
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So I think it's good to put ourselves in the mindset of when we were right, young lovers, right, and look at things with that loving, appreciative eye, right, but at the same time, not just feel that way to ourselves but express that to our, our loved ones.
Speaker 1: I think that's important.
Speaker 2: Well, it's always good to focus on the good things that they do and Compliment them on those things or let them know that you're aware of it.
Speaker 2: I read a teacher book one time and it said catch your students in the act of doing something right, which makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: Right, it's so simple.
Speaker 2: But, like kids almost expect the teacher to be finding something wrong they did, then you should have this, sometimes the opposite approach.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't talk about those things at all.
Speaker 2: Talk about the right things that they did, and more right will happen the more you begin to focus on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm finding that, you know, as I'm getting closer and closer to retirement whenever that's going to be I'm finding that I'm becoming a better manager For my employees and I think why didn't I take a class, why didn't I learn this stuff really really early on?
Speaker 1: And that's one of the things that I do.
Speaker 1: Is I, if I see them doing something really good, I make a big deal out of it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and oftentimes what I will do is I will bring somebody else in and say look at what this person's doing or that person's doing, didn't they do a nice job?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but anything that's good for in management and managing people is good on personal, one-on-one relationships to totally.
Speaker 1: I mean it's exactly the same things at school.
Speaker 2: I could walk by a kid and go that looks amazing and keep on walking.
Speaker 2: I didn't have to break my stride.
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm and I made them more confident.
Speaker 2: Yeah just by saying that looks amazing.
Speaker 2: So I made a big deal, but I didn't make a big deal, you know yeah like I didn't even break my stride, you know doing it.
Speaker 1: I think that makes a huge difference.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you do have to criticize negative things.
Speaker 1: Yeah but in a spouse Unless it's something that they can change is if it's a one-off situation, you can't criticize them.
Speaker 2: It's not helpful.
Speaker 1: No, accomplishes nothing.
Speaker 2: Right, how about can you say you're sorry?
Speaker 2: Are you good at that or not?
Speaker 1: Here's what I would say about myself and what I think about everybody.
Speaker 1: Everybody thinks they're fine with saying they're sorry, but in reality, they're not very good at it.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm very, very good at admitting my mistakes.
Speaker 1: Okay, I really fucked up.
Speaker 1: This is totally my mistake.
Speaker 1: Thank you for helping me fix my mistake, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: I admit that I don't know if I'm as good at saying I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I think I am, but I would need somebody from the outside to say that you know what I noticed about you that you're really good at is You're good at, not I?
Speaker 2: don't know how to say this.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it the only way.
Speaker 2: I just don't know how you're good at not Pooh-Pooing something right away.
Speaker 2: You're really good at saying, oh wow, that's a great idea.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh, I like that, or oh, I like the way you're thinking, or do you, are you aware of that?
Speaker 2: That you Do that, or, anyway, with me, you do that right.
Speaker 1: I probably do that and it probably comes from a habit.
Speaker 1: I try to get in at work.
Speaker 1: I've trained so many people Over all the years I've been working and owned my own business that I want to acknowledge the fact that somebody else may have a better idea and that just because it's the way I've always done it, or the way I think is best, may not be the best.
Speaker 2: It's a good quality.
Speaker 2: It's not that I'm saying I'm sorry, but it's not being stubborn.
Speaker 2: You're not being stubborn or thinking you're right.
Speaker 1: I think it's more about mistakes than it is being sorry.
Speaker 1: I think saying you're sorry is when you admit that you have personally made a mistake.
Speaker 1: But I think that other issue I was just referring to and maybe we weren't on exactly the same track- no, I'm probably talking about two things at once.
Speaker 1: But the other issue is when somebody does something and perhaps they make a mistake, or you think that they're going to make a mistake doing it a certain way, and you let them.
Speaker 1: And you let them because and you can say this to them that's not the way I would do this, but maybe your way is better.
Speaker 1: Try your way and let's see how it works.
Speaker 2: So I will do that, yeah but you know, some people you just wanna be right, and that's not always right just because you wanna be, that's true.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: There's one person in my life that we both wanna be right.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And we both butt heads like crazy.
Speaker 2: But now that you have thought about this out in the spoken language, see, maybe you can start to alter that and maybe that's a conversation you should have with that person.
Speaker 2: Go, okay, we both know that we love to both be right.
Speaker 2: It's just the way we are.
Speaker 2: But we can't always both be right, so sometimes one of us is gonna have to concede to the other one.
Speaker 1: Here's the problem when that person is your employee and they're butting heads with you over something, it doesn't matter if you're right or wrong.
Speaker 1: If it's your business and you want two copies of the receipt, whether the employee thinks it's reasonable or not, they don't have enough experience, enough knowledge, enough, whatever.
Speaker 1: It doesn't even make a difference.
Speaker 1: It's kind of silly for them to fight with you about that Right.
Speaker 2: generally the employer should be right.
Speaker 2: That's the one difference.
Speaker 1: I don't know that I've ever really butted heads with a person and wanted to always be right.
Speaker 1: Outside of work, I mean, the work thing's different.
Speaker 1: Within the one type of revenue, tranquility is the result of a work situation in the type of life incents.
Speaker 1: Whatever separates them.
Speaker 1: So how do we have to cut back the arrow if everyone is right?
Speaker 1: The way that we use all these ideas when we do things right in front of them and around the other things, it's kind of a little bit like огkotjq, and it's like a counter comment, a counter comment, and it's like who cares at an end?
Speaker 1: Where did that come from?
Speaker 1: What are your goals for 2024?
Speaker 1: And I think there's a really big difference.
Speaker 1: A resolution to me is something that you pledge to do and if you don't do it, you have failed.
Speaker 2: You set yourself up for failure, yeah.
Speaker 1: You know I'm gonna lose 30 pounds.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna exercise every day.
Speaker 1: Those are the types of things that you really almost can never succeed at.
Speaker 2: Right, but a goal is something that you can aspire to and work towards Right.
Speaker 1: So if it was exercise, for example, you could say I am making a resolution that on the 15th of January I'm going to walk for 20 minutes.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But that's not really resolution.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna change your life.
Speaker 1: Right, it would have to be.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk every day for 20 minutes, so I'm gonna walk three days a week or something, but then, when you don't, you failed, yeah, and so you have this sense of disappointment.
Speaker 1: You've reinforced the negative thing about yourself.
Speaker 1: The goal, on the other hand, is striving towards something.
Speaker 2: Right, you say I'm striving for more exercise this year I wanna try to walk more than I did last year, and I am Right Already.
Speaker 1: I've been on the spin cycle several times and we went for a walk this morning when you got here, and so I'm shopping a little differently.
Speaker 1: So I have goals to change.
Speaker 2: You should try to do something fun every day and again.
Speaker 2: Oh, and I know that's hard to do, especially when you've been together longer, especially when your life is busy with the things that you have to do and accomplish and work and responsibilities.
Speaker 2: But in the beginning, when you first did meet your person, you did do something fun every day.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 2: You had fun, some kind of how every day.
Speaker 1: This kind of fits in with what I was just saying about resolutions and goals.
Speaker 1: You say do something fun every day.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: I would say bring more fun back into the relationship.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Spend some time sitting by yourself and thinking about things that you can schedule or do.
Speaker 1: That would be fun.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: Yes, the problem with doing something fun every day is you're adding something more to your life, a responsibility to have to do.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's easier to say I won't fart in front of my husband, I won't criticize my husband.
Speaker 1: Those are things you're taking away.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to add something.
Speaker 1: I mean I keep thinking of this podcast I heard and this woman was talking about a book she had written and she was talking to her clients.
Speaker 1: It's a whole book about self-care and I may have mentioned this briefly before if I did stop me, but the woman was reviewing this book and what she said was is that she was talking to her clients I think she was a psychotherapist or something about self-care and the person said I don't have time.
Speaker 1: You want me to schedule one more thing into my busy schedule?
Speaker 1: I don't have enough time already.
Speaker 1: I'm going to leave work on time every day.
Speaker 1: When I hear do something fun every day, it sort of sends up this not red flag but sort of an orange flag of it's a good goal.
Speaker 1: But you know what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: I'm going to write five things down and then it's going to end If it becomes an obligation, then that's not fun actually.
Speaker 1: I'm going to soften it by saying try to introduce more fun in your relationship.
Speaker 1: Be conscious about fun, don't forget, don't forget it.
Speaker 1: Don't forget to have fun.
Speaker 1: Notice things that are fun and make them more a part of your routine.
Speaker 1: So let's say, for example, you went to the butterfly pavilion and you saw butterflies hatching and it was really fun.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: Talk to your partner about getting a membership, maybe going a few Sundays throughout the year.
Speaker 1: Try to notice fun and work it in, but also take some time by yourself to sit and think about something for your partner.
Speaker 1: Sarge is really good at this.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sarge gets an A plus plus, plus, plus plus on this one For the fun.
Speaker 1: He schedules things in his iPhone calendar nonstop, and some of them are fun and some of them are responsibilities, and some of them never happen In fact, probably a lot of them don't but they're there because he's taken the time to think about them and he might say I've got some stuff planned for Sunday.
Speaker 1: Do you want to hear what we have and you can tell me if you'd like to do any of these things?
Speaker 1: I mean, how wonderful is that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you got a lifetime travel agent in a while yeah nice.
Speaker 1: And he'll say well, we've got tickets to see Dark Side of the Moon from Pink Floyd on Sunday, and I thought we might go out to Costco because they're having a sale on blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1: Right, and you know we love to go get ice cream at so and so, but if there was time in the afternoon we could do that.
Speaker 1: Do any of these things sound interesting?
Speaker 1: Right, and so there's always something fun that he has planned?
Speaker 2: What if your fun goes awry?
Speaker 1: Ooh, yesterday, so you run out of bourbon you have to drink raw.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 2: So yesterday we decided to wash all of our lightweight jackets.
Speaker 2: It was just time, you know, and when you're going to do something like that, of course you're going to well, for us, we're going to zip them up, we're going to check all the pockets or whatever.
Speaker 2: And I had one that had kind of a sideways breast pocket with the zipper that goes up and down.
Speaker 2: I think it's probably these days for your cell phone, perhaps that's kind of up high.
Speaker 1: I put reading glasses in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it, I do too.
Speaker 2: I do that too.
Speaker 2: And Mr said what is this?
Speaker 2: And he unzipped the zipper and pulled out two pretzel rods.
Speaker 2: And one day we were going to go for a ride and I thought to myself it'd be really funny if I had two pretzel rods and we're riding around having a Coca-Cola or whatever.
Speaker 2: And he started to say, oh, I wish we had a little snack or something, but I could just unzip this pocket and pull out these two pretzel rods and give her, the pretzel rod in the car Because I thought that would be fun and funny.
Speaker 2: But you had to remember it, but I forgot.
Speaker 1: I do that all the time.
Speaker 1: I think it's something really, really great, and then I forget.
Speaker 1: And it's not something that's unpleasant that I need to do, it's something that I wanted to do and I just totally forgot I did.
Speaker 1: I've discovered a new thing about the iPhone, and this is on a tangent, but it's still kind of the same way.
Speaker 1: This is about how to remember things that are important.
Speaker 1: It's a new level of remembering.
Speaker 1: Now the iPhone has a calendar.
Speaker 1: You can put things in it and set alerts.
Speaker 1: Then they also have a little app called Reminders I think it's called or something like that.
Speaker 1: I don't know how those two things connect or interact.
Speaker 2: And they talk to each other Some kind of how they do don't they?
Speaker 1: I haven't been able to find that, but I've discovered a new way.
Speaker 1: I can actually make a little program on my phone to do something like clean up screenshots or show me the word of the day, and they're called automations.
Speaker 1: One of the automations you can do is you can set your phone to read text based on a particular trigger.
Speaker 1: So when I park in front of my store my iPhone out loud, it doesn't matter if it's locked, it doesn't matter if it's in sleep mode, it doesn't matter whatever It'll say out loud.
Speaker 1: Don't forget to shut the alarm off before you enter the store.
Speaker 1: After this many years, you wouldn't think I'd forget, but I do.
Speaker 1: I had a sunrise trigger that would say it's sunrise and then it would play here comes the sun by the Beatles.
Speaker 1: But I would only leave that on during times when I was already awake because I didn't want to you thought I'm going to sleep in.
Speaker 2: I don't want to know about the sunrise.
Speaker 1: So there's all these different things that it can speak, and here's one of them.
Speaker 1: Because I get so attached and I get into these rabbit holes.
Speaker 1: Do you ever do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the morning, particularly with a cup of coffee.
Speaker 2: I think that's a device problem issue as well, that you can do that.
Speaker 1: So listen to what my iPhone says to me every morning at 8.30.
Speaker 3: Stop whatever you are doing now and jump in the shower.
Speaker 1: Keeps you on track.
Speaker 1: Yep, now I've discovered that you can get sassy with them.
Speaker 1: You can change the sound.
Speaker 1: They have different voices and some of the voices are music.
Speaker 1: When I plug in my iPhone, this is what it says.
Speaker 3: Oh, daddy, put your big thick plug in my tight charger port.
Speaker 3: I love to feel your power recharging my battery.
Speaker 2: That's a good one.
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous, right you?
Speaker 2: know it's connected.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it's connected and when I disconnect it it does something else.
Speaker 3: I was crying to sleep.
Speaker 3: Why did you have to wake?
Speaker 1: me up Now.
Speaker 1: I don't know what voice that was.
Speaker 1: Is that unplugging it?
Speaker 2: That's unplugging it, yeah.
Speaker 1: Funny.
Speaker 1: You can see what this one is.
Speaker 3: Stop whatever you're doing right now.
Speaker 3: Kick Casey's ass out and send him home.
Speaker 2: I said now Yup, that must be, for that must become on a Thursday.
Speaker 1: On a recording day?
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2: Well, I have one last thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is it?
Speaker 2: And this could be.
Speaker 2: Actually, many of these could not be just a love interest, or your partner, or your husband or wife, or your significant person.
Speaker 2: It could be friends or whatever.
Speaker 2: Right, and I think many of what we've talked about fit under those categories, but this one definitely does, and that is with people that you care about.
Speaker 2: You should sometimes think about what if this was our last opportunity.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 2: What if this was our last day?
Speaker 2: What if we knew this was our last Thursday to get to spend together?
Speaker 2: Or you know, I got smashed in a car accident on the way home, or stroke.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or heart attack.
Speaker 1: Heart attack yeah.
Speaker 2: We're at that age, so we better make sure that we got something to compensate.
Speaker 2: We wanted to.
Speaker 2: It's true.
Speaker 2: So we said that we cared about each other, or said I don't know, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: That's why hugging for me is so important.
Speaker 1: Hugging when greeting is just fun because you're happy, but hugging goodbye is really important because it could be potentially the last contact.
Speaker 1: I always think about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did.
Speaker 2: You know it was a balancing act for me with clients in the salon when I used to do hair.
Speaker 2: There was a lot of touching and hugging going on when I became a teacher and many of my students were females.
Speaker 2: Then the touch thing that had to become a little bit different, a little more separated, and that not so much hugging happened anymore.
Speaker 2: It still happened now and then, but not, you know, just not in the same way.
Speaker 2: And then 2020, of course, happened to us all and then all kind of forgot how to hug and so we have to get back to it again.
Speaker 2: But you sort of need to know if people are comfortable with it or not, because you also have to respect people's boundaries.
Speaker 2: Just because you're a big hugger, maybe other people are not a big hugger.
Speaker 1: Well, and here's the deal about being gay.
Speaker 1: Oftentimes, when gay friends greet each other, they'll hug and kiss.
Speaker 2: When I was square dancing all the time with the gay and lesbian square dance club, there was a lot of lip kissing going on, a whole lot of it.
Speaker 2: It just happened all the time.
Speaker 2: I think that those days are over with.
Speaker 2: I bet they don't do that anymore, quite so much.
Speaker 1: Probably not when people are coming in for the lips.
Speaker 1: I oftentimes will avert lips, you do.
Speaker 1: I mean it depends who it is, kind of turn away and what the situation is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had a customer yesterday and we wrote up an order for she sent me the loveliest note today.
Speaker 1: I mean it was a connection that was made.
Speaker 1: She felt at home, she loved the conversation, she loved the person who works at the front counter with me.
Speaker 1: It was just very, very nice to make that kind of human contact and hugging, I think, encourages that a little bit.
Speaker 1: I think that's just the way to do it.
Speaker 1: What's funny about this podcast?
Speaker 1: For me, it works on a lot of different levels.
Speaker 1: First of all, it brings me great joy doing this.
Speaker 1: I've told you that.
Speaker 2: We have a good time.
Speaker 1: We have a good time.
Speaker 1: Because we know how to hang out.
Speaker 1: And when I hear people say I don't know if I'm gonna retire because I don't really have any hobbies or don't have anything I like to do, and I thought to myself boy, I sure do.
Speaker 1: Number one podcast.
Speaker 1: Number two garden.
Speaker 1: Number three, you know, it just goes on and on.
Speaker 2: You'll find things to do.
Speaker 2: I'm not worried about you, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: No, not at all.
Speaker 1: The other thing I think about the podcast is it's very much therapy for us.
Speaker 1: We work out a lot of things.
Speaker 1: Some things make it on the air and some things don't.
Speaker 1: There's some very personal things that maybe don't make it on the air.
Speaker 2: Really Not everything we say goes out into the ethers.
Speaker 3: No, really.
Speaker 2: Right, wow, some things get cut.
Speaker 1: Some things get cut.
Speaker 2: There's stuff on the cutting room floor.
Speaker 1: There might be Wow.
Speaker 1: You know like when we call it.
Speaker 1: That's on the cutting room floor that's on the cutting room floor.
Speaker 1: Ha ha ha.
Speaker 1: So anyway, it really is kind of therapy.
Speaker 1: This is my year of working through stuff, trying to figure out how the next part of my life is gonna be joyful and happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and this is one of them.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you've kind of improved things in your life by talking things through on the podcast?
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: It's life changing in a way.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 2: It's just I don't exactly know how to put it into words really, but I think sometimes you get more than I do, because I know when you're editing you hear stuff more times than I do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's probably more therapy.
Speaker 1: It's like reading a book over and over again, cause I hear it over and over and I get to think about it.
Speaker 1: Did I really mean that?
Speaker 1: Is that really how I felt?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Did he really say what he meant or was?
Speaker 1: Did it come out wrong?
Speaker 1: Right, you know that kind of thing and I think that's very helpful for me personally.
Speaker 2: Well, and there's been times, too, where you kind of have it completed and sent it to me and I've told you I don't like the way this sounded or what I said, or I'm hearing this differently than the intent was when we were talking about it, so we need to change it a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's true.
Speaker 1: Sometimes the intent comes through a little differently.
Speaker 1: It wasn't what we meant, so we pull it out.
Speaker 2: Which, before we go, makes me wonder one thing.
Speaker 2: I wonder this sometimes I think how do radio DJs live what'd you mean Live?
Speaker 2: Do that?
Speaker 2: Well, I guess they do say the wrong thing or make a mistake sometimes.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 1: Well, dj Ron, for example, his whole career was being a DJ.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think he was live.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds kind of scary to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he demonstrated something to us which I couldn't believe.
Speaker 1: We gave him 30 seconds or 15 seconds to do a traffic report and he logged on to some website, got some traffic and he did exactly 15 seconds or 30 seconds, whatever it was, without even looking at a clock.
Speaker 1: It was amazing.
Speaker 2: You want to do a soundtrack of our life.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what do you want to do?
Speaker 2: Well, I have one I've been sitting on for a while.
Speaker 1: Really, is that what that is stuck in your?
Speaker 2: pants.
Speaker 3: Yeah, uh-huh.
Speaker 1: I couldn't figure out what it was, but I thought maybe some of you had lost and sat on.
Speaker 2: I used to do these events back when I was flagging kind of quite often and there was a small contingent, a little group of flaggers here in Denver, which there's really not that anymore, sadly, this time of year there was a group of guys that did a party every year around Easter time.
Speaker 2: Uh-huh this is when they would do it.
Speaker 2: One year they did this party and it was quite an amazing event and that's where this song came from.
Speaker 2: It's a reminder to me of that time in my life, what a fun, happy time it was and how amazing it was.
Speaker 2: Do you ever hear of Delirium?
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's a Delirium.
Speaker 1: It's one of Sarge's favorite, really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's got Delirium.
Speaker 2: Oh, he's going to know this one, then it's Delirium.
Speaker 2: The singer they use is Christy Thursk for this particular song, and she's from Canada.
Speaker 2: It has done a few other notable things.
Speaker 2: This song is called Incentation.
Speaker 1: That sounds familiar.
Speaker 2: And it was really good at an after hours party, you know, in a big theater auditorium kind of situation with a lot of lights and people dancing and you know that whole scene, that real club kind of ravey, I don't know, whatever you want to say Is it anything like enigma?
Speaker 2: A little bit, yeah, a little bit like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's why they call it, you know, New Age Ambient, because it can kind of be in the background with all this throbbing, pulsing kind of sounding music, I guess, so you can sort of be paying attention to it or not paying attention to it.
Speaker 1: Sexually infused vibes yeah, there's that to it.
Speaker 2: There is that to it, definitely so the song I'm choosing is Incentation by Delirium.
Speaker 1: And it takes you when you hear this song.
Speaker 1: It takes you right back, Right back to the dance floor or above the dance floor, on a podium where you were flagging.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we had a.
Speaker 2: That particular party was had a theme, so I'm pretty sure I had on just the white.
Speaker 2: They say wife beater we probably don't say that anymore, do we?
Speaker 1: say that I don't know.
Speaker 2: White, what do you call that?
Speaker 2: Not a tank top?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a white tank top.
Speaker 1: White tank top t-shirt.
Speaker 2: And blue jeans, but with leather chaps.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, nice, Very sexy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was that kind of a party.
Speaker 1: I bet you were hot.
Speaker 2: Maybe Somebody may have thought so.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I'm sure they did.
Speaker 1: I'm sure lots of people did.
Speaker 1: Okay, so my song comes with a little bit of a story.
Speaker 1: I think I've told you, Casey, that one of the things I wanna do when I retire is write a book.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: And it's a book about human relationships and spirituality and religion and different people's viewpoint of God and throw some science in there at the same time.
Speaker 1: So we were on our way to see the musical Chicago last week.
Speaker 1: You know I saw this musical in 1973 on Broadway when it was original, and here it is.
Speaker 1: It's already been revived and it's gone around the country for years now and it's just so wonderful musical and I thought to myself I have learned so much good life philosophies from Broadway musicals.
Speaker 1: And so this song is from that.
Speaker 1: It's called Nowadays and it's sung by Thelma Kelly and Roxie Hart in one of their last numbers and they don't become really famous and they don't really get anything, but they're looking at their lives and are saying, gosh, aren't things great nowadays.
Speaker 1: There's booze everywhere, there's men everywhere.
Speaker 1: It's just a wonderful expression about appreciating life as it is and how things will change.
Speaker 1: And what really strikes me about that song is they say in 50 years or so it's gonna change.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, and I think no, not 50 years, five minutes.
Speaker 3: Yeah right, 10 minutes.
Speaker 1: We don't have any prediction, and I thought we all lull ourselves into this feeling that life is going to go on forever and that things will always be the same.
Speaker 1: And they're not.
Speaker 1: You hit good periods and you hit bad periods and before you know it, the big ride is over.
Speaker 1: So my song is Nowadays.
Speaker 1: It's from the Broadway musical Chicago.
Speaker 1: It's a great song.
Speaker 1: Listen to the words.
Speaker 1: They're very meaningful to me and maybe someone else will find something significant in the lyrics.
Speaker 2: Be sure to listen to the lyrics.
Speaker 1: Once again, we figured out a way to burn up some minutes.
Speaker 2: Did we do what we came to do?
Speaker 1: I think so.
Speaker 1: We didn't cover nearly as many topics as I had hoped, no, but it'll be easy to edit and easy to get it going by the first oh boy famous last words.
Speaker 1: Yeah, famous last words.
Speaker 1: Well, you know what, if it's not by the first, it's not by the first.
Speaker 2: That's the way it goes.
Speaker 2: It's OK.
Speaker 1: So if you're listening to this and it was not released on the first, guess what Editing didn't get done.
Speaker 1: Something in life came up and didn't podcast.
Speaker 2: Life got in the way of the edit.
Speaker 1: One last thing.
Speaker 2: OK.
Speaker 1: I wanted to say something quick to Fay Fay Driver.
Speaker 1: He mentioned some big news about December coming up, which I'm not going to say anything if you haven't heard his podcast.
Speaker 1: But I wanted to say we're going to talk to you about this before this happens.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: That's all.
Speaker 2: OK, a little cliffhanger there.
Speaker 1: A little cliffhanger so I guess we burned up a few more minutes and hope you guys enjoyed and gals, guys and gals I've been corrected by people.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening and we'll see you on the next exciting episode of Enormous.
Speaker 2: If you have some other things you'd like to add up to our list that we talked about today.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, let us know.
Speaker 1: Please just go to our website, fill out one of those response forms, and it's very easy.
Speaker 1: You can put a fake email address in if you want.
Speaker 1: Makes no difference.
Speaker 1: Fake name, fake email Still gets here Still gets to us, yep.
Speaker 2: Talk to you later.
Speaker 1: Bye, bye.
Speaker 2: And until next time, remember to be kind and, like us, keep it enormous, just enormous.
Speaker 3: This show is part of the Prime 48 network.
Speaker 1: Find all the best shows under the rainbow at Pride48.com.
Speaker 1: Are you finished?
Speaker 1: Not yet.
Speaker 1: Yoo-hoo, hello, now I'm finished.
Speaker 1: Bye.