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Coaching Mind's Podcast: Perform at your best!
Coaching Mind's Podcast: Perform at your best!
#115 - Brad Ritter: School of Grit
When Brad, the mastermind behind the School of Grit, agreed to join us, I knew it was an opportunity to share a profound narrative of human resilience. His journey through the unforgiving Kokoro Camp, where he faced a 50-hour crucible that tested every fiber of his being, isn't just a story of endurance; it's a testament to the transformative power of extreme challenges. Together, we reflect on how these trials reveal character, forge mental toughness, and impart invaluable lessons for tackling life's battles. I also peel back the curtain on my own experiences, revealing how simulated crucible events have reshaped high school football training, turning teenage athletes into embodiments of courage and cooperation.
It's not just about being tough; it's about the relentless pursuit of long-term goals, fueled by a powerful "why." Brad and I lay out tangible strategies to cultivate this trait, from breath control to maintaining a positive mindset and embracing visualization. These are tools not confined to the elite athlete or warrior; they are accessible to anyone. Listeners will gain actionable insights on how to infuse their lives with these principles, enhancing their personal and professional journeys with the fortitude that defines success.
Learn more or contact Brad by visiting his website: https://schoolofgrit.org/
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Hey you welcome to the coaching minds podcast, the official podcast of mental training plan. Joining us today, very special guest who was recommended, a connection made by close friend of both of ours, Steve Siebel, who was actually on the show, episode number 91, talking about coaching the mental side of the game Steve does Steve does a lot of what I do over on the East Coast and he said hey, there's this guy, his name is Brad, you guys got to have a conversation and that was all he said. And, sure enough, in our initial conversation I was super excited about just the topic. Brad's the founder of School of Grit. He's got a book out. He works with adults. He's going to be expanding, working with youth also. Brad, thanks so much for joining us on the show today.
Brad:Yeah, thanks, ben. It's a pleasure, it's an honor to be on, and so cool when mutual friend can put us together.
Ben :So shout out to Steve out there, he's listening where I would love to start is the first chapter of your book is literally titled the crucible. The crucible event was something that we started doing when I was when I was still coaching at Westfield. It was phenomenal. We loved the addition of that. We loved what kids got out of it, kind of forced them to to man up a little bit. Would love to just hear your experience, because I know you've kind of gone through this personally and then also just sort of just sort of take us through, maybe introduce what is it and why is it important?
Brad:I chose to attend what I call School of Grit, and there's lots of schools of grit. If you look at them online, they're everywhere. But a crucible to me is something that's going to push you, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, right. We're going to take you to a place you've probably never been before, so you can discover who you really are. Sometimes that's good, sometimes that's bad, but at least you got a baseline and you know what to do, and we're going to expose your weaknesses and we're going to practice those weaknesses afterwards. So that's my idea of the crucible love here, and that you all did that as part of your football team. I'd love to learn more about that, absolutely. But the crucible I chose to go to was called Kokoro Camp, and that is put on by former Navy Seal Commander Mark Devine, mark's mentor of mine, and he's been doing these camps.
Brad:Now I think he's on his 60th iteration of these camps, so a number of years. I went back in 2015. And why I chose to go was I just took stock of my own life and I guess I have somewhat of a unique perspective. Life wasn't very hard for me. I'm just going to throw it out there. Born and raised in Indiana, oldest to four played sports, didn't have a hard time making friends. Parents are still married, come from a very loving family. We weren't rich, we weren't poor. I knew the difference between both.
Brad:But I'm not saying I was born with a silver spoon by any means. But we didn't have to fight for food. I didn't have to fight for roof over my head. And, yeah, I'm just a proponent of bringing what I call purposeful adversity into your life, because that's what Shapeshia informs you and prepares you for the battlefield of life. We're all dealing with it, right? Everybody you meet fighting a battle that you know nothing about. So why not prepare for that? And a crucible is one way that you can prepare for it.
Brad:So I chose to go to this camp that was put on by Navy SEALs and it's modeled after. If you know anything about Navy SEAL training, it's regarded as some of the toughest training in the world and there's a part inside that training called Hell Week, where candidates are up for about a week with very little sleep and they're just they're pushed to the brink. So this was a 50 hour crucible. So it started on a Friday you didn't know what time and then it ended sometime on Sunday, but I think we ended up being up about 55 hours, zero sleep, minimal food, and man did it push me to to the core. So that's the, that's the oversight of it.
Ben :Love that, and so the you know kind of similarly we put, we put our players through something. Obviously it wasn't 50 hours, but the the first day of two of days. You can't really practice in pads anyway. So we would go to this camp and we would have kind of you could kind of consider it like a I don't know a bit of an obstacle course race, kind of a you know little bit of a tough, mudder challenge, some Spartan race stuff mixed in there, but like everything from, they had to get in a canoe and paddle, which you know doesn't really seem like that big of a deal. I was surprised at the number of kids though that we had that were in tears because it's like I can't swim. I'm terrified of this, I don't want anything to do with this.
Ben :They had to, you know, go through some muddy, nasty creeks. They had to carry a great big telephone pole. They had to, you know, throw a 50 pound weight down across this football field. They had to. You know, the whole course was like I don't know, three miles long, four miles long. They had to go find clues that were hidden underneath rocks in a river. They had.
Ben :You know, kids are losing shoes and shoes in the mud and the muck. There was this hill that they had to climb. That was, I mean it was. It was brutal, like guys are sliding down, falling into trees, scuffing their knees on rocks, got kids are, you know, eating a face full of dirt. They're having to figure out how can we get our entire team across the line, how do we get our entire team up this hill?
Ben :And so we, we put them in these challenging, uncomfortable situations, almost to the point where it was like this is this is going to push a lot of these guys to this point of can I even physically do this? And you know there were obviously some guys that were much more athletic that a lot of these things weren't as difficult, but they also had to deal with. I can't just breeze through this on my own. I've got to bring everyone along with me. So talk to me a little bit about you know. So we've got kind of this baseline of you know how you guys did it or you know how we've done it. Let's, let's dive deeper, though, into like why and what do you get out of this and what's the benefit on the other side.
Brad:So what are the big benefits of this was when I went to the camp. I would say I was very selfish. It was about me, and that is. That is one thing these types of crucibles can inspire is is true teamwork, and that is the idea of putting the person on your left, to your right, taking care of them first before yourself. And man, was that ingrained into us all weekend long because we weren't gonna make it. We just flat out weren't the the, the events were signed, they were, they were, they called them Evolutions. The evolutions were set up in a way where it required true teamwork.
Brad:Like you're not gonna pick a telephone, pull up by yourself, right, well, maybe one person, good. But now you're not gonna get very many reps Right, and you could tell when you're underneath that Log, let's say, and you're doing log PT, you can tell when someone's not putting out, you know exactly who it is. It's actually pretty easy evolution if everybody's working hard. You know If there's. If the pull weighs 300 pounds, you got six people underneath it. Well, that's about 50 pounds. Most people who are, you know, football players or whatever they work out, they can probably handle that. But as soon as someone Whits or decides to take it easy, not so much, and you can see that log shift you know, front, back, side, side. That's.
Brad:That's one of the big things I loved out of. It was just the true, you know, teamwork and and it's just really the grit aspect out of man Just digging down deep and come in face-to-face with an obstacle or a scenario where you think it's impossible, when they're telling you what you got to do, and then you end up doing it because the team together can do it. So that was that was critical. That was one of the biggest things I learned out there. It was taken, taken, getting outside of your own head.
Brad:You know when the going gets tough, because everybody gets broken too. Let's just, let's just facts of facts. Everybody's breakable. If I tell you to go do air squats for the next five minutes, you're probably gonna break at some point. Right, it's not that hard to break someone. But when you do break, where's your mind go and what are you looking at? And and how are you tricking yourself into? Keep moving forward, keep making a little bit of progress, and that's a big one was just Concentrating on your buddy, because that's we all had. They call them swim buddies out there, but that was your partner and wherever you went and they went with you, I don't care if it was to the bathroom and if you ever got caught without them, you were gonna. You're gonna pay. You're gonna pay the price, you know in the book.
Ben :You were talking about preparing the mind, and it doesn't matter how physically fit you are, like you alluded to. You know, for some people that might be 10 push-ups or 50 or 100 or 200 like at some point you will break. At some point these, these situations become so uncomfortable, so unbearable you get, you have to wrestle with why am I doing this? Or this hurts, this sucks, I like I want to quit. You've you said in the book, you got to control these thoughts and your emotions if you're to push through any type of adversity in life as you're. You know, now, on the other side of you're not just Going through this on your own, but now you're helping other people go through this. What are, what are some of the ways that you teach? You know that person who's in the middle of wrestling with why am I doing this? This is awful. What's, where's the kind of that starting point for you with them?
Brad:I think you just nailed it, and it's asking that question of why, why are you here? Ask them, especially ask them during an event, during that period where you know you can tell it's a suckfest, right, they're practically crying or they're putting out, or you could tell facial facial expressions, tell out, right, all the groans and stuff. Sometimes you pull them to the side if you, if you need to, and just say what, why you doing this? See what they said. You know, is it intrinsically motivated or is it external? I'm doing it because my parents are making me do it. Okay, that's not a very good reason, not saying you can't make it, but if, if, if it's intrinsically motivated, like, hey, I want to be the best Version of myself that I can be so I can go on and play, not only for my team, but maybe go play, you know, d1 ball, whatever you got, okay now. Now you're on to something right, because that's gonna drive you and and that's gonna instill that discipline. I didn't say motivation, because Motivation it to me is crap. It. It comes and goes like the wind. Basically, I got tons of days I'm not motivated to get out of bed. Actually, today was one of them, because my kids had a at a two hour delay, but it's important to instill that discipline. Just to say, no, got a, got to get up right. Small little, small little wins Throughout the day and that's. That's a big one, you know. Just get out of bed sometimes for people.
Brad:So, so, yeah, it's starting with why, and that's relatable to anything, whether you're running a side hustle business, whether you're a coach, whatever ask your, I try to say, ask yourself why, three to five times, and that'll reveal, like, the real reason You're doing something. That's a pretty good little practice. And then, likewise, if you can't answer that well, maybe you need to reflect on it. Why is it that I'm having a hard time coming up with why I'm doing this? Or you know, this is, this is outside of this crucible piece, but maybe you got asked to do something and Doesn't make sense anymore, right, does it fit? You've moved on, so maybe it's time to I'm gonna throw out the cue, or maybe it's time to quit.
Brad:Quitting's not bad in some situations. I quit a lot of things in life that were good for me relationships, all sorts of different things and that's different than giving up, though, because giving up is. Is that that's what you don't do right. That's for something. That's where you can't answer that. Why and you're so laser focused on this exactly why I'm doing it means so much. It's like I'm never gonna give up on that, but I might quit things along the way in order to pivot 100%.
Ben :So you know, Talk to me a little bit about this word grit, because you know I was a, I was a teacher, I was in education when Angela Duckworth, you know, wrote the book that so many people use To define this word. It became a pretty, pretty buzzy word in the realm of education. Talk to me a little bit about, maybe, a quick definition of what is it, and then let's dive into why is it so important.
Brad:Let's do it. So, angela Duckworth, she's one of the one of the people that got me rocking and rolling, so I know that. Book it to Mitley. And when I was in a place in my life so I'm 44 right now I was about 34 at the time I was struggling with Answering those basic questions that come up internally, questions like you know, what's my purpose? What am I here to do? You know, is this, is this my career? Is this what I should be doing or should be doing other things? And I turned to the internet to help me answer that and After a long time of reading blogs and stuff like that, came across Angela's Ted talk.
Brad:And if you haven't seen that Ted talk, it's, it's incredible. It's only about six minutes and she goes on to say that grit is the leading indicator and predictor of success in life. And she gives all these reasons why, through all of her research and all these folks she's looked at, whether it was, you know, west Point candidates or People teaching math and inner cities you know, you name it. What's what's gonna keep someone in the game, so to speak? And and grit came up and it grit, something can be, that can be grown, as she says, you can grow from the inside out, you can grow it from the outside in, and her definition of grit is Passion and perseverance for a long-term goal, which I think is great. I actually take it a step further. I actually have my own definition of grit, and that's cool thing about grit is it means something different to everyone.
Brad:So if you ask you, ask me, if I ask you, if you ask five other people, you're probably gonna have similar answers but different words, and I've just I've come up with this over the course of time. So I'd say grit is uncommon perseverance in the face of adversity, backed by a strong why to achieve a worthy goal. That's like a four-parter and that's a mouthful, but it's uncommon perseverance. So what I mean? There is effort, because if you read her book, effort counts twice. You know, I'll take, I'll take work, hard work over talent, pretty much any day of the week. You know, in the face of adversity, because that's when it's gonna show.
Brad:You know, everybody wants to go for a run when it's 70 degrees outside, sun shining, you know. Sure, suns out, guns out right. But when it's when it's cold, like it has been in Indiana, and it's zero and the windshield is negative, it's very easy not to get that workout in, very easy to sleep in a little bit. So that's when it shows up, is when Adversity sets in back by a strong why we just talked a little bit about that. You know why are you doing anything? And they achieve a worthy goal. You know you got to make sure your goals are lining up with where you think you're, you're going in life. Some sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't, and it's okay to pivot, like I said, it's okay to quit things and move on to different things. It's perfectly okay as long as it aligns with that, with that mission.
Ben :So that's my own definition of grit so, as I, you know, as I hear this as a parent, as a small business owner, as a coach, you know the the first thing that that pops into my mind now is Perfect. So now, how do we do this? You know, we said grit can be grown. Give me some. Give me some concrete examples you know whether that's boardroom football field, or you know my own living room of how this can be grown. So maybe some, some concrete examples.
Brad:Yeah, so there's. There's basically two buckets here. You can grow it from the inside out. You can grow it from the outside in. So I'll start with inside out. Inside out would be to me in listing the help of, of a coach, a Mentor, something like that, who's gonna help you work on on more of the, the mental game, right, the emotional side, because this isn't just physical guys. Physical is a part of it. It's, it's definitely a part of my own coaching program, that having the physicality, and there's a reason for that. But as you look at a whole person, I actually like to divide them up into five different mountains. It's what I call you got physical, mental, emotional intuition and then your warrior spirit, and you know, working on grit on the inside is is really examining those different pieces. So a perfect example would be Growing mental toughness. Right, you hear your mental toughness all the time, right, it's big, big buzzword. So I've got four ways I train that specifically for your, for your listeners out there, and these aren't rocket science, but if I guarantee, if you do them and you do them well, you will see a gradual increase in your grit and in your mental toughness.
Brad:So the first is I want to pay attention to your breath. I, as corny as that may sound, or if you think it's woo-woo, but seriously pay attention to your breath. What are you doing Next time you're in a boardroom or you're having a crucial conversation? I almost guarantee you're holding your breath when you get asked or put on the spot or something like that. And it's no different than in sports. When the clock starts winding down and you know that blood pressure rises and You're not playing loose anymore, you're stiffening up. Check your breath. You probably got a little bit of shortness of breath. So just remember, take a deep breath in and out. There's all sorts of different breath exercises I teach, but that's the most basic one. Just just a little tactical breathing, right, two seconds in, two seconds out.
Brad:If you can control your psychology I'm sorry if you can control your physiology, you can control your psychology, which is the next piece. So, now that I'm not on breathing, I'm trying to take to gain control. I'm working on positivity, right, trying to be as positive as I possibly can and realizing that you know it could always be worse. Man, someone's always got it worse. Even though something you know sucky's happening right now, there's a reason for it and something good can come out of this. So you know you're, you're breathing, you're staying positive, which are huge.
Brad:Visualization is the next big one that I teach to. So this can be done pre event, can be done, post event, can even be done during the event. But I'll start with pre event. Say it's a football game, or say it's a big Board meeting, like you said. Maybe you're in sales and you're meeting with a big client. I want you to actually visualize yourself delivering your sales presentation and being successful, because if you can visualize it, if you can see yourself doing it, then you're gonna be able to do it for real when, when the time comes.
Brad:And then, last but not least, is proper goal-setting. So you know, let's take football, football, four quarters, let's play quarter to quarter to quarter. Don't think about the whole game. You got to be, you got to be right here at this play, right here. You know, I want your mind drifting off, thinking about, like, what we're gonna do in the third quarter. It's the first quarter. You got to be present right here, this next play. All we need are these next yards.
Brad:It's noted, that's no different than Ryan, a marathon. And you know you're on mile, let's say 20 and you're struggling, you're hurting and just concentrating on the next stop sign. I'm running to that next street, that next group. I can see ahead of me. I'm just trying to get just a little bit farther. Same thing with your, with your goals. If you got a, if you got a dream of opening up your own business, go do it and but Make actionable steps. You know, the first step could just be going to get your LLC do the paperwork. Then you got that done. What's my next thing? Breaking off those those big goals into smaller chunks, essentially. So that's the, that's the big four mental toughness.
Brad:I teach to help increase grit from the inside out. It's breath, positivity, visualization, goal setting and then, likewise, growing grit from the outside in. That's, that's the fun, that's. That's also the fun part too. That's attending a crucible experience. That's that's putting. That's putting yourself Into areas where you're nervous, You're a little bit scared to do it, but it's for good reason. Okay, and it doesn't have to be physical. I just prefer physical because I think it's the easiest thing to do. It'll immediately get you right there and hit you adversely. Hit you, and it's like. You know what do I do when I, when I can't do another rep, or I'm breaking, or I'm breaking, but it doesn't have to be that it could be public speaking. I know a lot of people have a fear of public speaking or or a podcasting or whatever. Make yourself do it. The more you do it, the better you're gonna get.
Ben :Love that as you're kind of going through, you know, the, the crucible, you're going through Kokoro school, as you're Experiencing these things and you're kind of you're kind of having this aha moment where it's like this is awesome, this is, this is changing my life, this is, this is incredible. And you know you would you had alluded to you couldn't just do it on your own. You are gonna have to bring others with you as you think about, you know, because the the highly, the highly motivated guys that just kind of get it. That's, I think, as a coach, it's easier to coach that group.
Ben :What about the kid who's in tears with mud on his face, that just wants to hang it up and wants to quit on the side of this hill and he's not sure that he has what it takes, and his teammates are pissed because they're not gonna win this event, because they can't get his butt up this hill? How do you, how do you interact with, with, maybe, that group of athletes? How do you coach that group of athletes? What's the balance between I come in with tough love and I say let's go, we got a tough enough and we got to keep pushing Versa versus? You know at what point you wrap your arm around the kid and say, hey, you know, we got this, we're gonna, we're gonna be alright, what's that? What's that balance look like? Maybe for those, those athletes that we're coaching, that are falling behind and, and in that pool of doubt, still?
Brad:I think the more those let's call them a, a plus athletes, I think, the more that they can be the quote unquote coach and and help that player out, versus the actual coach, the better off the team is going to be. A coach is absolutely vital in delivering the message, but the best teams that I find are we are when you're, you know, your best players are going to be not only talented but they work hard and they're completely bought in and they realize, hey, it's not really about me, it's really about the team and the way the whole team is going to lift itself up is if we're all doing better. So if those, that that's how I would do. I would challenge and I have challenged those, those a players, to be the leader, be the conduit between the coach and maybe those other players that are hurting. But here's the deal you're a team and I've been in those scenarios absolutely back at the camp and back at other places, where you know you've got someone, your team, that's not putting out well, maybe, maybe you help them out, maybe you carry them a little bit, figure out a way to help get them over over the over the hump, so to speak. So, and then those, and then those kids especially that are struggling.
Brad:You know, two things come up there. One is having the conversation that dude, everybody's scared of something, and there's lots of things I'm not good at, okay, and maybe this is just one of them. Running up this hill for whatever reason, you're just not good at it. They begin to think like they're no good and then they begin to think like you know, they're going to bring the team all the way down. So I think it's a good opportunity sometimes to pull them to the side and have that conversation. Not, I'm not breathing down their neck. Usually it's more of a, it's more of a mentoring relationship and just having a quick conversation about fear, because everybody's scared of something. And here's the cool thing, man, courage can't exist without fear, if you get that dichotomy. So what I said there was courage can't exist without fear.
Brad:And there's there's an example I always use, and that's that's my wife. She's scared to death snakes. So we were. We were walking a trail the other day actually a couple years ago kids were younger and a snake popped by. She freaks out like, literally runs away, leaves me there with the kids. I'm not really scared of snakes, I don't care for him, but you know I'll shoot away. I asked my kids. I was like, hey, was that the dad show courage there? And they're like, yeah, and I'm like I would say no, because I'm not really scared of it's no big deal for me to do that, you know. Reverse that situation, though. If my wife shoot that snake away because she's definitely afraid like a, she show courage and they're like, yeah, absolutely, I'm like you're right, why is that? Because she's scared, she's got fear. So if you believe in that dichotomy of fear and courage and you believe that courage can exist without fear, then this is also true those who are the most fearful have the opportunity to be the most courageous, and that especially hits hard to kids, I find. And so what I'm saying, that is, I would try to pull those kids aside who are really struggling and try to have that conversation, if you have enough time, that is, to have that conversation about courage and fear. And you're never out of the fight, man. Just keep pushing yourself forward.
Brad:And we had an event I'm reminded of where we had to scale this mountain all night. It was like 20 plus miles and we had rucksacks on that weighed about 40 pounds apiece. We had our makeshift weapons, which were PVC pipe looks sand. They were about eight pounds and we had a couple of people on our team we had a team of six and they were really struggling. So I happened to go on the stronger ones in the group for this event because, I trust me, I had my events that I was not so strong at, and what we did was, as a team, we took that members, or those two members, we took their rucksacks and weapons. So now I have two rucks on, I have two weapons, I have double the load and all the other person has to do is just walk, and what that did was it enabled them to kind of catch a second wind. They saw how hard we were working and once we got close to the top of the mountain, they grabbed their gear and finished the ruck, which is cool and afterwards the SEALs brought us alongside just our group, because they could see us struggling, and they gave us a vote and they said, hey, do you want your players on your team or do you want me to kick them out of here Because they're slowing you down?
Brad:I was reflecting because I didn't know how to answer it. It's the first time anyone ever asked me that it was the first situation type of every member of that situation. Someone else was like I want them out of here. I want new players. And the SEAL said you are not a good teammate. That is the easiest answer you could say is get them out of here. I want someone new. He's like remember, there are no bad teams, there's only bad leaders. He's like be a better leader and I was like holy crap, man that really sank in so yeah, that was a good one.
Ben :I love that we had thinking back to the first year that we did that event. We tried to set it up so that you had to. There were different skill sets that were good for different events, right. So, like the big offensive lineman who's really struggling with the run, with some of the cardio stuff, with getting up this hill, it was like if we could just get them to not quit, if we could just get them get the I mean, like you said, get the teammates to carry them up the stinking hill to find some way to just keep going. I remember multiple times where it was like we got to this event where they had to push something big and heavy and all of a sudden all these skinny little wide receivers and DBs are real glad that big boys with them, because you know he's got some oomph behind him and he's gonna be able to help them out a whole lot. And I just I remember in those moments seeing like this light bulb come on with the little skinny guys who are finally realizing, oh shoot, I can't do this on my own. But also, you know, some of these bigger guys that are thinking, all right, I can contribute, I still have value, I've got this. They need me. As long as I don't quit and I keep pushing, we're gonna be able to make this.
Ben :And you know, last week's episode we had Jake Gilbert on who was talking about where. You know, the time that he realized the culture has really sunk in was when the backups were preaching. It was when the C-Team kids were preaching. It was when that sophomore that you're like well, I'm not really sure he's gonna, you know, ever really be on the field. All of a sudden he's saying these are the cultural expectations of this program, this is how we do things. We're not quitting, it doesn't matter, that's not an option. You know, when it has permeated the entire culture to the point where everybody is now preaching this, you know that's where, that's when you can look around as a coach and be like all right, we're doing this the right way. So I was so glad, you know, I was curious of your insight and I think that those totally line up. I'm curious.
Ben :The next question that we kind of we wrestled with a little bit as coaches was we wanted to completely eradicate, leading by example, and I was like that was something where, you know, we had some teams, we had some players, where the guys, the studs on the team, the A-plus players, like you call them. They were all in. They were doing the speed work. They were doing the strength work. They were getting bigger, faster, stronger. We knew we could count on them, but it was almost like they were just that person out at the front of the marathon who's just blowing past everybody, and they weren't bringing someone with them. And so, yes, they were setting a good example and, yes, they were doing all the right things, but that wasn't good enough and we allowing them to just quote, lead by example, was almost a cop out because they didn't have to bring someone with them.
Ben :Talk to us a little bit about you know, that balance of you know. Obviously there's some value in leading by example. Obviously there's some value in, you know, the players that are at the top doing things the right way. But I guess the point is like but we need more. What is that that you saw in your own experience?
Brad:Yeah, I think part of that and I love that, like I love how you worded that try to eradicate, leading by example, because I didn't know where you were going at first, but when you explained it I was like I know exactly where you're going now. I think a couple of things. One is that's why, during this crucible that I went to, you had swim buddies. You were partnered up with somebody. It was based on height. That's, that's the only thing I went through it. First thing, we didn't we showed up height line count off. That made your teams and that made who your your swim buddy was and and you were great. It, you know, it wasn't just about how awesome you are, it's about how awesome your buddy is too. So so what that? What that does is that it counts that Accountability for someone other than just yourself, because it's gonna be now a. In this picker case, it could be a two-man score instead of a one.
Brad:You know, cuz like you said, and when it's, when it's one, it can't. Those a players like. They're already wired that way. They're wanting to be awesome, but can they make other people rise up and train and and break through, so that that's one way that that camp Accomplished. Matt and then the other one was being a part of a boat crew. Is was what they were referred to as, and boat crews were typically between six and eight people and let's just say it pays to be a winner and it really really sucks to be a loser. Yeah, so that was a little bit of negative reinforcement. Let's just say cuz cool, like that's probably the canoe example, I'm guessing, cuz I could just picture people in there. A, they can't swim, so they're already freaked out. Right, be like. The only way you win a canoe race is is everybody's in unison, right? So otherwise you're just gonna go around on a circle.
Ben :It seems like so, or tip over and grab a hold of the thing. Yeah, absolutely.
Brad:Yeah, absolutely so. Those those types of events, evolutions, whatever you're called, whatever you want, calm, that help really instill. Instill the like, the micro, like raw part of the big team. But then there's there's little teams inside of the big team, you know, and and just the whole.
Brad:It's so true, man, you're only as good as your weakest link. I mean you really are. You will be exposed at some point and that's okay. Everybody's got a weak link. But believe me, even your stud, a plus players, somewhere they're weak. Maybe it's not in the physical, maybe it's on the emotional side. They're dealing with some sort of trauma. You had no idea, you know, but going. That's what I love about these crucibles and just the intimacy of really, really cool teams. Is man, what you can get down and have that layer of conversation? Holy smokes, not now we're. This is much bigger than just the game. This is about life and what you're gonna go on to do after Football or whatever your sport is, you name it. What kind of a person you're gonna be, how are you gonna serve others, how are you gonna lift them up, how you gonna make the world better.
Ben :Yeah, and this, this is, you know, this is getting, like you said, deep into where real meaningful change Actually happens. And you know, I'll be honest, like the, I remember the first time that coach Gilbert said, hey, we're not gonna practice football on the first day of two days, the first time we're allowed to, you know, work with them. We've got this many hours that we're allowed to put them through stuff and they have to have this much rest time and we can do this. And it was like we were literally going to have them canoe and Lift things and run up the side of a hill and all of this. And I remember, on the, on the front end of it, thinking, okay, I mean, like you know, when I, when I was in college, I played for Chris Creighton and we had to do it was called the 12 minute run and you know my position group had to run two miles and 12 minutes and that was, you know, until I, until I hiked the Grand Canyon, the most difficult thing I had ever done in my entire life. And I remember, like, in the fourth quarter, we would hold we wouldn't hold up the four like a lot of teams do we would hold up three fingers on each hand to remind us of, you know, the, the time that we had put in and during these 6 am Workouts and the work that we had put into the point when we could make this 12 minute run, and you know.
Ben :So, having these, having these deeper motivating driving forces, I think, is what really starts to separate Good programs from great programs. And and I love that you you brought up, courage can't exist without fear. One of the things I talk about, you know, with the, the athletes I work with one-on-one, is like look, all these tools that I'm helping you with mental toughness, like you can't practice them without adversity. You can't, you can't try and, you know, really truly test your confidence Until you're in that moment where you have to decide Do I have what it takes? Talk to us Maybe a little bit about Creating some of that, not just in a, not just in a crucible event, but, you know, maybe throughout the season, maybe in the offseason, just making difficult things Part of your culture, because courage can't exist without fear, just like mental toughness can't exist without adversity.
Brad:Yeah, I think, like you said, it's practice. You know you can read about all these things. I got a bunch of books on my bookshelf but ask me how many of those books I've ever implemented. Maybe less than 1%. That's just the facts and that's when it's gonna show up and that's why, in my definition of grit, uncommon perseverance in the face of adversity that's that's when you're gonna want to use it.
Brad:It's do you, do you have you practice it enough to where you can access it as a subconscious level, or at least think about what you're doing and Then go into, you know, maintain your breath, positivity, all that good stuff, or is it as soon as you know? You know, you know what hits the fan. Sorry, I don't know if you can custom a podcast, so I'm purposely not his kids will listen, but I can. You know when it hits the fan. Let's say, do you just spaz out, do you just completely go blind? You just forget and you let fear, like the fear, will take over, and that initial hit of fear is so like that's, it's okay, that's that's. That's like.
Brad:That's why I'm trying to preach, like that is okay. That's why I'm a proponent of Just doing something that that sucks every day, and there's lots of ways you can do it and doesn't have to be a creature. I'm not talking about that. I mean like little things. It could be as simple as waking up 30 minutes earlier a day and reading. Maybe you hate to read, but you know it's gonna make you better. All right, cool, let's do that. We're gonna start with that. I know ice baths and plunges have become quite popular here in the last few years and I'm sure there's some scientific reasons why you know why I like cold what's the first thing that goes is your breath.
Brad:Yeah, you start hyperventilating, and that goes back to what I'm talking about Get control of your breath. Once you could control that, you're okay. So that's what. That's why I love using those as part of training. Is it like that's one of the easiest ways to train? To train breath controls, we're gonna get you super cold and I'm comfortable, and you're gonna learn how to unlock. You know, breath control. We're gonna do it right now. So, so that that's an easy way.
Brad:Yeah, I've just, I'm just a proponent of that. You know doing Doing things that suck, but you know that are good for you. You know, I'm not talking about putting yourself in harm's way, or you know, and I mean you could be in situations where, yeah, maybe, but you know it's overall good for you, definitely. I mean, I love what you said. There. It's these are all tools, right, and there's there's tons of tools out there. Get a backpack full of tools, so pick the ones that work for you too, because they're not all gonna work and all work for me, right, but then really hold on to what works, and that comes from experimenting and putting yourself in those situations, and that's why, typically, I start with the physical mountain which is working out.
Ben :Whatever?
Brad:your jam is. I don't care whether it's walking, yoga, crossfit, powerlifting, rucking, biking, whatever, just do something. But to me, like that's the, that's the easiest I want to train because you could see immediate results. Or that's increased strength, losing weight, you know, whatever, whatever your goal is right back to that. Why, why am I doing this? And then I love, I love working out and getting myself Like hit.
Brad:Training like get to that point, of man, I can't hardly breathe. All I can concentrate is getting that one more rep. That's where you want to be and that's when the mental, that's when the mental game really starts for me, and that's when you know everybody's, everybody should have a mantra, like a word or phrase. You tell yourself just to kind of get yourself going, that whole positivity piece. And my mind is I Usually say good, like now, now the workouts actually beginning, like when I look around, everybody else is tired. I'm like, alright, this is where I Accelerate. You know, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna decrease, I'm gonna put my foot on throttle, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna break some people you know.
Ben :I love that. Yeah, we, we had a, we had an activity one time. We were replacing some negative thoughts and it was like what's the situation? And for one of the kids, he was brutally honest. He was like six am Workouts, they suck, you know, he's, he's telling us as the football coaches and it's like, well, yeah, I know. And then it's like what's the what's the negative thought that pops into your mind? He's like you know, not this again, my bed's so comfortable. Why the heck am I doing this? Is this really gonna do anything? My getting anything out of this? And then you know, having them work through like alright, so what, what are those? What are those reminders that you need to give yourself? And he, you know, he lists out alright, maybe here's why we're gonna do this. And blah, blah, blah.
Ben :And so his, his thing that he came up with was time to grind.
Ben :And so you know, he, he, I'll be honest, like at first it was almost, he used it almost so intentionally.
Ben :Just, it almost came off as like Disrespectful, like you're gonna make me do this.
Ben :Fine, that I'm gonna go over the top and I'm gonna throw this back in your face Time to grind, time to grind, and just saying it over and over and over and over, to the point where it's like this is alright, this is getting a little bit obnoxious and before you know it, like it catches on and before you know it, like all the sudden, these you know guys start saying this and teammates start saying this and you start seeing some, some high fives and some chest bumps and some you know, pushing people around and it's like Even even in the midst of him, you know whether whether he truly was the, whether the motivation behind it was I'm trying to be obnoxious or not, didn't matter, like the end result was it completely changed the, the environment, it completely changed the mood. When people started saying that and you know that that's that's something that I love about self-talk. It's like even if you got to fake it till, you feel it like at the first, at the front end of it, like it's, it's worth it. You need to be doing this.
Brad:Love that. That should be a t-shirt, like the team t-shirt that year.
Ben :Absolutely, absolutely so I know you know. Before the show we were talking a little bit about what you do now and then also some goals that you've got you know in the future with your own coaching journey. Talk to us just a little bit about you know what you're up to and some vision for the future.
Brad:You know, when I graduated Kokoro camp so this is something I mean I trained, I lived it, I breathed it, I slept it for six months, man, like there was no going back, like I, visually, I Saw myself graduating. In fact, I told my wife I was like I'm gonna make it. She thought I was nuts. Everybody I told it up you know I was doing this, thought I was nuts, like why you doing this, why you doing this? And I Told my wife the night before I was like because there's no contact, right, and this was actually the first time I think I wouldn't have talked to my wife for a whole weekend, believe it or not. I told her I was like you're not gonna hear from me and if you do, it's bad news. So meaning like I'm making it or I'm coming back on my shield, so to speak.
Brad:Graduated I mean we're elated. Right, we started with a class of 50, graduated 25. So we lost. We lost half our class. Mind you, these are all studs. To go to this program, there's a minimum standard you have to hit of push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, time outrun. So you know why? Why did we lose half the class? It's the six inches between your ears. That's why. That's why it's so important. That's why we're spending so much time talking about the mental game here, not just the football, but in life, but my mentor, mark divine. He posed a question to the class and it haunted me, man, for a long time. There's just two words, two simple words. He said what's next? I'm like what's next, man? I just this is it for me, right? I have reached the mountaintop. What else?
Ben :is there.
Brad:Well, for those who have reached the mountaintop, there's a little bit of depression that can sit in. You know the arrival fallacy. I don't have any. I don't have another goal on another mission to go to, so I Was kind of time or I was a tumbling, tumbling a little bit like I thought, okay, maybe a Spartan race or some obstacle course races, stuff like that could help fill that void and those are cool. But Nothing, that just nothing, compared nothing stacked up to to my experience at the crucible. And one day I stumbled upon Mark's teachings and he's got a really cool program called unbeatable mind that really digs into a lot of stuff We've been talking about. I Said, you know, I think that's my next. That's my next engagement is I want to become certified as coach. So it was a year-long program. I did. I did it actually during COVID and they don't just graduate anyone. You have to be selected to graduate, which is super cool. So I got certified in this program and and I began Coaching adults.
Brad:Actually, I typically work with men. That just seems to be my, my niche. So For the last several years I have online groups that I coach over video. I like to meet early in the morning, so we meet usually at 6 am. Calls are usually on on Wednesdays right now. So I've got a pretty cool call team and and people call in from all over the US and man, we just do life together, like it's a lot of what we're talking about right now, but we get super granular on. You know some of the emotional stuff that's going on in their lives and you know what their passions are. What are they trying to do?
Brad:Of course there's physical Exercises we all try to accomplish together, like like for the month of January, we were doing, you know, jaco willing yeah, I'm guessing. Yeah, we're doing his reset no boo, no booze. You know, drinking lots of water, doing a hundred burpees a day, all sorts of little things, but but that's been a lot of fun, holds me accountable too, which is why I love it, because I don't just talk and teach, I do this alongside with my clients, like that's important for me. So that's that's what I'm doing now and and where I hope to go, and this just kind of recently happened. So my kids Are still pretty young my daughter just turned 13, ali, and my son Brody he's he's 10 their winter babies, but they're involved in sports and I Love coaching, so I've began Becoming an assistant coach and getting more involved with sports and community, and just I love it and and what I?
Brad:What I see a need for, then, and this is something that I'm working on, this is my dream is to To create a crucible, if you will, or events, but for kids, because to me, it's like that's what that's. What it's all about is is bringing up this next generation, and you talk to parents all the time, I'm sure, as do I, and there's lots of pressures out there. We there's. There's pressures that we didn't have to deal with, thank God, but but these are real, and the more we can get kids to open up and and work on becoming a little bit grittier, I think the better off we're all gonna be man, because they're gonna be taking care of us one day you know that's that's the way this cycle goes.
Brad:So that's that's my dream is to is to start hosting events for kids and, yeah, I can't wait. So love that we're starting that now.
Ben :So, real quick, just give the. Give the listeners quick overview if they're wanting to get in touch with you, learn more about you. What's the best way to do that?
Brad:Easiest way would just be go to my website. It's school of grit org, not calm, so it's dot org. Someone owns calm Wasn't gonna pay for it, so go check it out. It's got all my contact information there, or just drop me an email, brad at school of gritorg.
Ben :Awesome. Well, brad, thank you so much. I've thoroughly enjoyed our time together. Really appreciate you joining us on the show today.
Brad:Thanks, man, appreciate you, man, and I look forward to meeting in person here one day.
Ben :Absolutely would love to. Hey, thanks for tuning in today. If you found value in today's episode, we ask you to please share it with a friend, with a fellow coach that might benefit from our discussions. If you want to learn more about taking your team's mental game to the next level, visit MTP dot Academy. You can explore the program that we've got. You can train your entire team throughout the year Super affordable, very customizable and the best part you'll have direct access to me. I will help you come up with the calendar, I'll help you with implementation and I'm there for any questions You've got along the way, as always. Thank you so much for joining in, for listening and until next time, make your plan and put it to work.