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Coaching Mind's Podcast: Perform at your best!
Coaching Mind's Podcast: Perform at your best!
#132 - Positive Intelligence Pt. 3 w/ Brenna Munson
Your life moves in the strongest direction of your thoughts – a powerful truth that forms the foundation of this eye-opening conclusion to our Positive Intelligence series. What if all your distress was self-generated? What if you could transform every challenge into an opportunity simply by shifting your perspective?
In this enlightening conversation with mental performance coach Brenna, we explore how to activate your "sage" mindset – that wiser, calmer part of your brain – through practical, science-backed techniques that anyone can implement. Far from passive positivity, the sage perspective requires active mental training and deliberate choice.
We break down the game-changing "three gifts technique" that helps athletes reframe failures as learning opportunities, and dive deep into the five sage powers: empathize, explore, innovate, navigate, and activate. You'll discover why visualizing yourself as a child can instantly shift your self-talk, and how identifying your "true north" values creates an unshakable foundation for decision-making when challenges arise.
The most exciting revelation? You can literally train your brain through simple 10-second "PQ reps" that focus on your five senses. These micro-moments of mindfulness – feeling the breeze on your face during practice, truly tasting your food, or noticing the heartbeat of a loved one during a hug – create new neural pathways that enhance performance and overall wellbeing.
Science confirms that negative self-talk decreases performance in every sport studied, while positive expectation demonstrably improves outcomes. The goal: 100 daily PQ reps to rewire your brain for optimal performance when it matters most. With practical examples and real-world applications, this episode provides a roadmap for taking control of your thoughts – and therefore, your life.
Ready to transform your mental game? Begin with just one PQ rep today. Remember, your performance, happiness, and fulfillment all depend on mastering the inside game.
Are you an ATHLETE looking to take your training to the next level? Check out our website to learn more about 1-on-1 training opportunities:
mentaltrainingplan.com/athletes
Are you a COACH looking for an affordable year-round mental performance training program? Check out the MTP Academy available through our website:
mentaltrainingplan.com/academy
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast, the official podcast of Mental Training Club. We help coaches and athletes perform at their best when it matters the most. Today, Brenna, welcome back for a third episode, our final dive into positive intelligence. Appreciate you being back on the show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much, so excited to be here again and wrap up the series today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you so much, so excited to be here again and wrap up the series today. So quick recap. You know, obviously we've got the sage and the saboteur. Give us a quick refresh of how those show up in daily life. And before you answer that, if you have no idea what those two things are, I would encourage you pause this episode, go back two and listen to episode number one about this book, positive Intelligence. So, brenna, take us back, ground us a little bit, remind us about the sage and saboteur.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so positive intelligence is based on this idea that we have these two opposing forces in our mind. So our sage is that wiser, calmer part, the more grounding thoughts that we have, practices of gratitude. And then we have these saboteurs, the ones that are telling us that we can't do things. Things are hard, other people suck, our circumstances suck, and so positive intelligence is that constant war back and forth and taking control of our thoughts and making them work for us.
Speaker 1:And why remind us again to why was this idea of controlling your thoughts such a game changer for you, and I guess you know why. Why is the idea of a saboteur and a sage different than just let's speak positive to ourselves, which I think sometimes gets a bad rap?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this idea of positive intelligence was huge for me as a college athlete. It really helped me take control of my own performances instead of falling victim to them.
Speaker 1:Moving into part three and the sage perspective. I absolutely love that phrase. All your distress is self-generated. That is so huge. What's that really mean? Why is that so empowering?
Speaker 2:It's so empowering because, as humans, we all experience the same life, but it's our interpretation of it that gives it that emotional meaning, and so we have the control to apply meaning to what we're encountering and make it work for us, or just add to our own stress, anger, guilt, shame, which results in just a negative quality of life when it comes to athletics and negative performance. Negative quality of life when it comes to athletics and negative performance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I was to go through every single athlete that I've ever worked with individually, I can probably think of two who were really distressed by things that were not kind of self-generated you know, and both of them there were some terrible, horrible life altering events that had occurred that you know that was a little bit outside of their control. One of them I actually ended up, you know, saying hey, why don't you go meet with more of like a therapist? Counselor type of person that's a little bit more what you're looking for. Counselor type of person, that's a little bit more what you're looking for. Every other athlete, every single one the big stressors or the biggest source of distress in their life, is usually worrying about things that are not within their control. Can you think of a shift, maybe in your own life when you started looking at challenges through the SAGE perspective?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So a shift really came for me when I learned what the SAGE perspective was, which, again, that SAGE perspective is the wiser part, that believes that every challenge is a gift and an opportunity and you have to focus on accepting what is, as opposed to rejecting or denying or resenting it. So it's the idea of activating the sage, because sometimes I feel like positivity and happiness get this like bad rep of just like, oh, just let it go, like just be happy. Well, that's not it at all. It's a conscious choice to activate this sage perspective of your brain and you actually have to shift your mindset. So you have to consciously choose to look at a situation and then the best way to activate your sage is what we call this three gifts technique. So you look at your challenge and then you apply three positives to that challenge, your challenge and then you apply three positives to that challenge.
Speaker 2:For an example, as an athlete say, I fell on my major release, move on bars at a meet. Immediate response is anger, resentment, judgment, all negative feelings. But if I were to apply this three gifts technique and activate my sage, what I might be able to understand is that I got a better understanding of how my adrenaline affects my timing on my release point. I get an opportunity to model composure after a fall for my teammates maybe younger siblings or anybody else that might be watching me. And then a third gift could be I get the opportunity to rely on my teammates to support me through that, building more meaningful connections. So it really helps me look at these at the time what seems like life ending mistakes and be like.
Speaker 2:you know what it's okay Like yes, things can come through in a positive way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and I think just the idea that all of these things are potentially an opportunity for you to learn from this, grow from this, absolutely. What would you say to someone who's listening to this? That's like okay, but sometimes things are just bad.
Speaker 2:I would challenge them. I ask why Like? Why do you feel it's always bad? And I would really really hone in on the opportunity. That word opportunity is the key for this three gifts technique and the sage perspective, because it's a choice whether or not we choose to learn, accept and move past our mistakes. So you can sit in your misery, but that's your choice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. All right, so there were five sage powers and obviously we're not going to do a deep dive into all of them. If people want that, they can read the book for themselves, but take us through kind of just maybe a quick overview what. What are we talking about when we say there's these five sage powers?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So, um, to activate our sage. I mentioned that three gifts technique, but there's also five powers that our sage is really, really helpful, um, in supporting us through challenging situations. So not all circumstances require all powers and each of them have a time and place. So the five are empathize, explore, innovate, navigate and activate. So just to briefly run through them, empathizing so empathizing with yourself and others really allows you to take a different perspective on circumstances in general.
Speaker 2:What I really love about this activation strategy is the game involved with it, which is called visualize the child. So if you're ever really frustrated with yourself or with another person, visualize yourself as a child and how you might feel, or that person as a child. Going back to that bar example, if I fell in this major release move, I'm like Brenna, I can't believe you did that. I like to think of little four-year-old Brenna who's like oh my gosh, you made it to college. That's so cool, really shifting that mindset for yourself and then moving on to explore, which is that.
Speaker 2:Second power is all about curiosity, and it's really important when we talk about curiosity that it's objective and not subjective. We have to remove the emotion from how we judge circumstances and I don't mean to use the word judge, because the judge is our negative character in this story, but really just being open and wondering about how things came to be in your current challenge or how they might be in the future, and that kind of leads into that third strategy, which is innovate. So you looked at your situation, you kind of gather data on it and now it's the time to generate strategies, because as athletes, it's not like you fall on a routine and then you're like, oh, that's okay, we'll just get over it, like you need to be an active member in that you know what's your game plan going forward. And I feel a lot of that relates back to MTP and how we we do like that top down, bottom up processing of how is my body feeling? What key words and phrases do I need to use next time?
Speaker 1:Um, I think this one from the from the coach perspective. This one is huge. Like if our athletes don't screw up, I'm just. I'm just thinking about, like football practice, if our quarterback never throws an interception all summer, if our quarterback never makes a bad pass, what, what in the world am I, am I supposed to be helping him with?
Speaker 2:like if we're not.
Speaker 1:If we're not trying to push that envelope and be aggressive and make plays and get after it a little bit and then realize, okay, I've now found a limit for myself, I probably I can't get. You know, I can't get that greedy trying to, trying to dart that pass in there or whatever. Whatever that looks like in your sport, it's like then. Then we don't have a chance to think outside the box a little bit, to really question am I preparing my athletes for everything they're going to face? Are there any situations I wasn't ready for? How are other teams, you know, how are other teams maybe going to make adjustments that they've never shown on film? And so now I'm going to need to think outside the box a little. I just I think that athletes get so stuck on this need to be perfect that it's like guys, this is a, this is a great opportunity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's like a huge skill in so many sports. It's you train the routine right, you run the play, but does it ever look like that when it comes time to do it? No, you have to be able to be flexible and willing to to navigate that situation, which brings us into the fourth power navigate I see what you did there yeah, I love, love, love this strategy, um, and a great exercise to practice this, especially with the, is the point to your true north activity.
Speaker 2:So you have your whole team close their eyes. You say, point north. And then you're going to have people point in all over the place, up down sideways, and you tell them to open their eyes and when they open their eyes, they're all looking in different directions. And the metaphor here is you need to be able to identify your true north so when faced with challenging situations or when you feel like you get off track, you know where you're going to get back on track. For me in my life, my values are faith, family, fitness, future Anything I do needs to align with those values in that order. Future Anything I do needs to align with those values in that order. And so that has been my true north is always being able to fall back on my values. And then our last strategy is activate, which again debunks this idea that sage is passive. It takes pure action, with the removal of any judgment and emotion, to move into action, to put your innovative plan, your curiosities, your values into practice.
Speaker 1:Love that. And I think this is again where, when I've run into maybe some parents who don't realize it, but the parent is the source for a lot of this anxiety, this need to be perfect, this inability to deal with failure in the life of their child, and we have, you know, some sort of conversation about that. It's like, well, if I don't, you know, if I don't help them see that this is a big deal and apply a little bit of pressure, then you know they're just going to settle for being mediocre and I love that they do a good job. I think in the book of talking about how the sage is not passive, we are not just, it is not just. Let's feel positive and let's be okay with the failure. Instead, instead of beating ourselves up, we're going to empathize a little bit with the fact that you know what we failed. We certainly didn't mean to. We're going to need to do a little bit better job, but we also don't need to crush ourselves or the people we're coaching job, but we also don't need to crush ourselves or the people we're coaching. We're going to.
Speaker 1:You know, there was some, there was some failure, so now we're going to explore, we're going to have a little bit of openness, maybe some more discover, like are there ways that I'm not preparing my athletes well enough? The, the innovation, what am I? What am I going to do? You know, maybe the existing ideas just aren't cutting it and so we need a new way to train in these areas that we're coming up short. And you know the navigate, finding alignment. I love that you brought up your values. I think, as an athletic team, if we don't have those, that's a problem, because then, just like you said, with the example of True North, where the athletes close their eyes, if we did that same thing with the coaches and said, point north, and we look around and everybody's pointing different directions, I think that's a problem. So how are we getting in alignment? And then man that activate like let's go, get to work, let's preempt the saboteurs, let's I? Just I don't. I don't know where the misconception of inactivity comes from.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of it comes from you can't see your brain muscles. As athletes, we like to see our performance. You lift weights and you see your muscles grow. You can watch your performance, but our brain is such an inside game that it takes internal effort and work as an athlete. Though the great thing about the stage perspective is that there's a training plan, which is our third strategy, building your PQ muscles. So, again, it's not passive. We have this strategy for actually training.
Speaker 2:So to move into that strategy, we first need to understand the two aspects of our brain, which is the survivor brain versus our PQ brain. So survivor brain, just to be brief, is that left side of our brain which is the survivor brain versus our PQ brain. So survivor brain, just to be brief, is that left side of the brain that declares everything is bad and, as a result, is a cycle of negative reinforcement. It's the one that's heavily judging circumstances. Then we have our PQ brain, which is on the right side of our brain Most typically.
Speaker 2:It also involves the empathy circuit and our middle prefront. Typically it also involves the empathy circuit and our middle prefrontal cortex, just really emphasizing curiosity and wonder and empathy, those sage feelings, and so the left brain handles the details of day-to-day lives, whereas the right brain enables us to thrive in a life rich with relationships, curiosity, and discover joy and meaning. And so to strengthen these PQ muscles, you need to train them as you would any other muscle which we call a PQ rep, which, ben, makes me think a lot about that FMR that you talk about in the focus cycle of like bringing this conscious effort to your body and then allowing that relaxation piece yeah, and that's, you know, trying to trying to take all that we know about the human brain and then simplify into left, right, but it's.
Speaker 1:But I. But I love, I love the ability to, to simplify and make it a little bit easier to understand. Like you know, in in my book I talk about the, the lower, the lower part of the brain, the middle part of the brain and the top part of the brain. You know, obviously, again, that's a super oversimplification, but you know, the lower part of the brain is just going to do some things automatically and then we're going to, as a result of that reaction to oh, I don't like this, this is an uncomfortable situation. That middle part of the brain, that amygdala, is now where fight or flight gets kicked off.
Speaker 1:And so, you know, heart rate increases, breathing increases, butterflies in the stomach, all the major organs that are connected on that vagus nerve are basically now saying, oh no, what do we do? And you can use that top part and that front part of your brain to take back control of your breathing. You don't have to let that lower part do it automatically. And it's the. It's the same thing again with the, the muscle tension or muscle shakiness, even if you're going to let the lower part of your brain dictate that, then you're kind of at the mercy of your reactions.
Speaker 1:And so you know, using the FMR, like you said, to sort of take back control is certainly a positive thing to do and can be helpful. And so you know, then again, I've said all along, I feel like this book kind of does a deeper dive into some of the parts of what we teach. So, for example, he now breaks up that top part and that front part of the brain into the right and to the left. Talk to us a little bit about you know, why does this matter to just the everyday athlete who's trying to set some goals, is trying to accomplish dreams, is trying to improve their performance and ultimately, you know, get their performance to this, to this level of success in their mind.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So this matters because happiness and joy and contentment is an inside game, literally and neurochemically. It is an inside game that you need to take control of and performance is the byproduct of the mental game that goes into that performance. So your body is ready. As athletes, we train effortlessly, doing our repetitions, running our plays, doing our routines, but that can all be sabotaged in an instant if our mind's not right and it's not ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let's move into kind of the components of the PQ brain, you know, the middle prefrontal cortex, the empathy circuit, the right brain. I love this. I love this idea that happiness is an inside game. How do you tap into that practically on a stressful day?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what we need to do is we call it a PQ rep. So, just like I mentioned, we need to train our brains, just like we train our muscles. And so we do what's called a PQ rep, which involves bringing awareness to one of your five senses, 10 seconds at a time, which is about three breaths, and so one of our five senses. You could choose to listen for the different birds chirping outside. You could wiggle your toes in your shoes, you could see how your stomach feels when you really breathe out all the way to expansion. But what you need to do is get out of your brain and into your body, which sounds silly when we're talking about building mental resilience, but by doing this, you are releasing the judgment of those thoughts and then really tuning in to how you're feeling, to offer better control and activating those different regions of your brain.
Speaker 1:Which, neurologically I mean science backs up. We can only focus on one thing at a time. So if I'm having a panic attack and instead I start paying attention to my breathing, I start paying attention to something else. You know that's that's going to shift that focus away from that we talk about with golfers all the time.
Speaker 1:Look, if you're headed up to a, to a tee box, let's say it's the first tee box, it's the sectional or the regional or a state championship or whatever tournament. And you've got this voice in the back of your mind going I just I don't know if I'm good enough to do this. I don't know if I'm going to be able to compete with these girls that I'm paired up with today. And you've got all this negative self-talk and you've got all this junk going on inside of your head and you don't feel like you have what it takes and you're not expecting to be successful. The science says your performance goes down in literally every sport that they've ever studied, including weightlifting and running distances and things like that. So if, instead of that, you were to just think about unicorns and cupcakes, your performance would be better, because it's at least not going down. You're at least not detracting from your ability to perform, with negative expectations, assuming negative outcomes, decreasing your ability to access muscle memory, like you're at least not making it worse, but then, on the other hand, like if you and this is where you know I I like to, I like to use the the go-to statement and have athletes like remind themselves of the time they put in and the work that they've put in and why they've earned the right to be confident.
Speaker 1:And now, instead of just not detracting, now we're changing our expectations. Now we're feeling a little bit more confident. Now we're moving things in a positive direction, which the research shows in darts, shooting free throws, running distances, lifting certain amounts of weights is going to increase your performance. And so what I think the brilliance of this book is is, every time you start to feel, those negative thoughts come in, whether you're at practice or not at practice, you're essentially training your brain and rewiring those neural pathways to, instead of freaking out and having a panic attack and thinking about worst case scenarios Like let's improve our PQ. Let's improve our ability to stay a little bit more positive PQ, let's improve our ability to stay a little bit more positive. Talk about some of the other examples of how you can get PQ reps that they talk about in the book, and maybe even were there some that were more effective for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So there is tons of opportunity throughout every single day for you to get PQ reps in. The goal is 100 a day day, um, so a hundred different opportunities of 10 seconds of focus. You have more than enough time in a day, um. So some examples are like daily routines when you're brushing your teeth, really feel how the brush will feel in your teeth. Or using hot water or cold water, um.
Speaker 2:Physical exercise this is my favorite. When I run, I like to choose a song that I can match my right foot to. When I run, I hit the beat on my right foot and by doing that I'm out of my body or out of my mind into my body, and what I'm able to find is that I fatigue slower. It's more enjoyable. I pace faster. So using those kinds of techniques for me during working out has been really helpful.
Speaker 2:Other things eating, like the flavor of it, the again, temperature Is it crunchy, squishy? Really being in tune to that experience. Listening to music, like I mentioned, like maybe there's a backtrack or a harmony in the back that you never noticed before. Bring your attention to that. Sit with that feeling. Playing sports, being outside, feel the breeze on your face, allow yourself to separate from the game just for 10 seconds from the game, the practice to really allow yourself to ground into that moment you're in and remind yourself and your body that you are safe and in control. And then I love this one too, being with loved ones, like next time you're with a loved one and you hug them, really hug them. See how their body feels, can you hear their heartbeat? What perfume or cologne are they wearing?
Speaker 2:Really be into that moment and what I find with practicing PQ is that I have a lot more meaningful experiences, because I'm intentionally bringing awareness to the different details and details that maybe we just gloss over than previously before.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:Everything about that and you know, also, just practicing being in the moment and how many athletes, how many humans have can relate to.
Speaker 1:When something's on our mind, when something's eating away at us, when something's weighing heavy, whether it's at work, whether it's at school, whether it's with spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whether it's with a kid, whether, like when, when there is weight on our shoulders, we a lot of times just ruminate that, ruminate on that all day long and it's exhausting and it eats away at confidence, it eats away at our peace, it eats away at our contentment and our confidence and all of these things and all these PQ reps basically shift your focus off of that and retrain your brain. I love the idea when they talked about anytime you feel yourself starting to go down that negative path, then that's a great reminder. Hey, let's get some PQ reps. Hey, let's say my go-to statement. Hey, let's do my breathing. Hey, let's you know something with music or being present in the moment, or the physical things that you were talking about, the brushing your teeth, the five senses, like I, I just I love this idea of changing how we're going to go about our daily life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Talk to us about maybe so, so we've got. We've got this goal, this plan, this whatever to you know, maybe during he talks about like during a bathroom break, or doing during some time that you're going to have every day, like getting ready in the morning or, you know, brushing your teeth at night. What's the what's the hardest part about maybe, building this new habit? Remembering them. How do you remember to do these?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, like you mentioned in the book he mentions, like every time you go to the bathroom, try to get a couple reps in. Every time you feel a saboteur, come up, try to label it. And that can be tough. It takes 21 days for us to build a habit. So the more you do it, the easier it's going to get.
Speaker 2:Something that has worked really well for me when getting my PQ reps in is to do these sort of chunked training time frames. So I'll take about 15 minutes during my drive to work and I will sit and I will repetitively PQ rep it. So no music, so no music. Sometimes I try to see a different house on the side of the road that I haven't seen before, or really listen to the sound of my car. The wind hit my car. Use those like chunked periods of time to get a lot of reps in, especially if you know you're moving into a circumstance or you're going to work or a place where it's hard for you to slow down which again I would challenge you. If it's hard for you to slow down which again I would challenge you if it's hard for you to slow down, probably all the more reason for you to slow down and get in control of your thoughts. But using those blocked opportunities is also really helpful to make sure that you are building those neural pathways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I mean this feels like going to the gym for your brain. I mean this feels like going to the gym for your brain. Someone who wants to start this journey maybe feels a little overwhelmed. What do you say? How do we now go do this, starting today?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think the first step is to take the first step and remembering that it's your responsibility. None of us are victims to our lives, but we all must take the responsibility to control our happiness and contentment and know that life does have ebbs and flows, but those ebbs and flows don't need to determine the direction. We can always look at the things that happen to us as things that happen for us and really being grateful for every opportunity. We have to be challenged, as we know that we're going to be building our brains and our bodies and our relationships to be more meaningful and, you know, just a more positive overall life.
Speaker 1:Love that and you know, if you're, if you're wanting to do this, maybe some other encouragement be patient, you know. Commit to this, commit to this for six weeks, um, before you just pack it in and say, well, I don't know if this is working, you know, for for some people it's gonna. It's gonna take a little bit longer. You know, forming new neural pathways takes time. One of the one of the things I talk about with athletes all the time is your bad habits that you have on the basketball court have taken you 17 years to build.
Speaker 1:To think that we're just going to meet once or we're just going to read a book once and we're going to do an activity a few times and that's going to rewire everything inside of our brain is silly and, to be honest, it would do more harm than good if our brains could rewire themselves that quickly, because I feel like we would just be a scrambled mess and we would always be, you know, being rewired by situations and environment around us. You know, maybe find a training partner, maybe find someone that can hold you accountable, find someone that you can do this with or go on this journey with or at least just share about. You know what you're going through, what you're learning. Um, those would be, you know, maybe just some, some encouragement that I would have for folks, brenna, as we kind of as we wrap this up, any last final thoughts about the book, about the topic or any you know anything, anything else that's on your mind you wanted to share.
Speaker 2:The only thing I'd want to leave everybody with is your life moves in the strongest direction of your thoughts, so take control of your thoughts and take control of your life.
Speaker 1:I love that. Well, Brenna, thank you so much. This has been really great doing kind of a deeper dive into this topic. I appreciate your time and always great getting to chat with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much. It's been great.
Speaker 1:If you have questions and want to reach out, head over to mentaltrainingplancom. We've got a contact us box down at the bottom. Feel free to send that over to us. If you've got questions that you would like answered on the podcast, feel free to send those our way. And remember we've got the MTP. Academy is live and ready to go. If you are a coach or you are a trainer or you are a parent and you are looking for tools and a program to help your athlete improve the mental side of their game, head on over to mental training plan dot com, click on the Academy button up at the top and if you've got questions, please don't hesitate to reach out. Until next time, make your plan and put it to work.