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Coaching Mind's Podcast: Perform at your best!
Coaching Mind's Podcast: Perform at your best!
#142 - Confidence Pt 3: Identity, Body Language & Self-Talk for Athletes
In this episode of the Coaching Minds Podcast, we continue our Confidence series and dig into three critical building blocks every athlete needs: identity, body language, and self-talk.
You’ll learn why confidence isn’t just earned through practice and reps — it’s also chosen by who you decide to be. Ben shares a powerful example from an NBA player who missed six straight shots but still had the confidence to take — and make — the game-tying shot.
Coaches will discover how to use self-schema theory to shape team culture, why body language impacts performance, focus, and even how opponents view you, and how tools like a Go-To Statement and mental reset phrases can rewire an athlete’s belief system.
Whether you’re a high school athlete, college competitor, coach, or sports parent, this episode provides actionable mental performance strategies that strengthen confidence on and off the field.
Are you an ATHLETE looking to take your training to the next level? Check out our website to learn more about 1-on-1 training opportunities:
mentaltrainingplan.com/athletes
Are you a COACH looking for an affordable year-round mental performance training program? Check out the MTP Academy available through our website:
mentaltrainingplan.com/teams
Hey, welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast, the official podcast of Mental Training Plant. Thank you so much for joining us today. You could be listening to absolutely anything right now and you've chosen our show. I appreciate that. I want to do everything I can to make sure this is worth your time. Today we're continuing our series on the book Confidence Tools to Build Belief for Athletes, coaches and Parents. Again, if you have not listened to the first two episodes in this series, I would encourage you to pause this and go back. And we are kind of moving forward under the assumption that you have the book, maybe you're reading along, you've downloaded the free workbook that comes with it, and my hope is that this maybe goes a little bit deeper. My hope is that this is almost like a like a book club where, if we were to sit and chat a little bit about this, we were to maybe go a little bit deeper. What's some of the conversation we would have? Special shout out to Alison down in Australia was having some trouble. Apparently, for some reason, amazon does not offer the hardback version of my book in Australia, so I apologize. I got her all set up with the Kindle version and made sure she had the workbook download. Allison, if you're listening to this, I just want you to know I greatly appreciated the Antarctica joke and, yes, that is still, to my knowledge, the only continent where we have had zero listeners. So if somebody has a chance to make that happen someday while you find yourself traveling, please be sure to let us know, and Zeke will get a kick out of that.
Speaker 1:So last episode we talked about part two and the concept that confidence has to be earned. There are things we have to do, there are actions we have to take. We have to put in reps, we have to build that belief. We have to provide some evidence to our brain that, yes, we have earned the right to be confident. And then there's some thing. There's some action, some planning. We talked about routines a little bit. There are some things that have to be done. We don't want to just sit around and wait for confidence to happen. Confidence isn't just earned, it's also chosen. Up to this point we've really focused on how do we build something solid, how do we put in the time, put in the work, the things that really make confidence real, that kind of give us that proof. Now we're going to start to shift a little bit from external to internal. Chosen confidence is about who you decide to be, and remember we talked about the sequence matters. You can't skip the work, you can't fake that foundation. But then chapter six, we start getting into. There's also some decisions that have to be made. And chapter six starts with one of my absolute favorite activities to do with individual athletes when I'm working with them one-on-one, and I will play this video clip. It's out there on YouTube. It's Jeremiah Johnson interviewing Victor Oladipo.
Speaker 1:It was in January 2020, before COVID shut everything down and Vic had been out with a season-ending injury and he was finally coming back. And in Indiana, man, there was just this feeling, there was this buzz that hey, vic's back, now we got a chance. And I was at that game. I will never, ever forget that moment when he got off the bench, went to the table to check in and the place just erupted. There were signs everywhere, People were waving towels, the place went nuts and he came in and played terrible and at one point we're getting toward the end of the game he had maybe made a basket and a few free throws. He was 0 for 6 from the three-point line and I looked at my buddy that I came to the game with and I was like man, I'm so glad Vic's back, but I hope he doesn't take this last shot. We were down three. There were like 10 seconds left in the fourth quarter. We had the ball called a timeout and coming out of the timeout he got open the top of the three point arc and just let one rip and drained it and it felt like the roof was going to explode off the building. So that that's kind of the setting right.
Speaker 1:So what I'll do when I'm working with an athlete is I'll give them that backstory and then I'll turn on the video clip of Jeremiah Johnson interviewing him and they they show his stat line at the bottom. And I'll turn on the video clip of Jeremiah Johnson interviewing him and they they show his stat line at the bottom and I'll pause the video and I'll say all right, let's say you're 0 for 6 from three point, or you know, maybe, maybe it's not a basketball player I'm working with, it's a golfer and we talk about okay, what would this look like for you? What would it look like to be 0 for on the night? But no, hey, the game is on the line and I'm going to have the confidence that I want the ball in my hands. I want to take this game winning shot. I want to leave this game winning drive. What would that look like? How confident would you be in yourself in that moment? And then I press play and you, you see the instant replay.
Speaker 1:And Jeremiah Johnson asked something that everyone in the stands was wondering that night. He said how did you have the confidence to take that last shot? And Vic just said I just shot it, manamba mentality. And so then I paused the video again and I asked them what does that mean? How does this make sense? How is there any way that this guy, who has failed, failed, failed, failed, failed, failed six times from three point range, all of a sudden still believe that he has what it takes to hit this game-winning shot? He hadn't played basketball in a year. He has no reason to believe that this is going to go in, but he did.
Speaker 1:And, man, that sparks some powerful conversations where we start to ask questions like what if our confidence didn't have anything to do with the outcome? What if we were so focused on the process, we were so focused on what matters right now? What's the next step that needs to be taken that past and I'm going to put this in air quotes past failures no longer have this detrimental impact on our confidence that we have in ourselves and in our game. Right. What if our preparation was so thorough and our identity was so strong that coming up a little bit short a few times didn't make us throw in the towel and collapse? And I think it would be totally appropriate for the coaches listening to find that clip and use it with your team, use it with your athletes or maybe there's an even better example from your sport out there, athletes. Or maybe there's an even better example from your sport out there. But there are plenty of instances where maybe the the casual fan didn't have confidence in someone, but that didn't matter and that person wasn't rattled and they went out and did it anyways.
Speaker 1:How do we build that kind of identity in our athletes? The self-schema theory that really explains how people organize information about themselves, kind of the internal frameworks that are used that influence perception, motivation and behavior. Basically, an athlete who sees himself as a leader or an athlete who sees themselves as someone who performs under pressure is more likely to act in alignment with that belief. I think that in and of itself is a great question for coaches to ask, maybe our coaching staff hey, what are ways that we're building this up? What do we want our athletes to believe about themselves? What are those frameworks that we want them to have in their mind? And then, how are we actively building those? We don't want to just count on these 16, 17, 18 year old kids to somehow magically believe that they have what it takes, irregardless of how they've been performing all game, to be able to make this game winning shot. They've been performing all game to be able to make this game winning shot. No, we want to be intentional, we want to build that and there's all kinds of ways we can do that in our sport.
Speaker 1:Cognitive dissonance Basically, there's discomfort when our behavior doesn't align with our beliefs. In my mind, those of you that have been listening for a while and you know what the go-to statement is, those of you that have been listening for a while and you know what the go-to statement is. This is why, when we start to say I put in the time, I put in the work, I'm the best player in the state, our brain starts to feel like now wait a minute. These two things don't line up and it starts to to behave like that, or we're going to start to buy into this and be like you know what I? I do put in a lot of time, I do put in a lot of work. Maybe, maybe I do have what it takes. We get into a little bit of embodied cognition Really. I mean we're going to come back to this in the next chapter when we talk about body language. But man, it's just so hard to separate them right when we're standing tall, when we're in control of our breathing, when we feel like, yes, I have what it takes, not just mentally and emotionally but physically. It makes this identity piece so much more powerful.
Speaker 1:And we get into a little bit of the priming and the self-talk. And so in the book we talk about the I am statements. We talk about let's help them be intentional about their self-talk. We talk about the alter ego builder. I think the Mamba mentality is so unbelievably powerful when Kobe explains why that, where that came from and why he believes that he's earned the right to be confident on the court. I think if we can help our guys and gals start to piece that together and start to connect that in their own mind, they can start to figure out. What do I want my mentality to be on the court? And then the identity map how I see myself, how I talk to myself, how I act, and then how I want to see myself, how I want to talk to myself, how I want to act If I'm a coach in a team sport.
Speaker 1:In my mind, we have to have two conversations. The first one is what's the framework that we want our team to have? Do we want to be that team that's going to outwork, outlove? Do we want to be that team that's just going to keep grinding, no matter what? What framework do we want to build up in our athletes? Maybe the culture of your program is you've just been so bad for so long that you need your team to start believing, yes, we can win. Why? Well, here's the things that we're going to be doing different physically, technique-wise, schematically. Here's what we're going to be doing in the weight room. Here's what we're going to be doing on the mental side of the game.
Speaker 1:How do we get intentional about building that framework that we belong on this field? Maybe it's you're a pretty decent team, but for some reason, coming down the stretch, you just you're not finishing well, okay. Well, maybe this next offseason we're going to get real intentional about that framework. We're going to get real intentional about our language. We're going to get real intentional about what does it take to be successful in those big moments? How do we train our athletes to perform in those big moments? How do we practice those big moments? What mental skills and tools are needed to be at our best in those big moments? How does our conditioning need to change so that, physically, we can still hang with anybody in those big moments? Or maybe the framework is hey, we just won a national championship, we're not here to defend a title, we're not defending anything, we're going after this.
Speaker 1:And then I think the second piece is how do we help individuals on our team start to build up their own identity? Not everyone's going to be the same. That was always one of my favorite things about football is you could have this skinny, scrawny, teeny, tiny little kicker next to this great, big, giant, huge offensive lineman, next to this incredibly athletic, muscular, lean wide receiver, and it's like we need all these people. We need some really smart guys. We need some great leaders. We need some great, big, physical, giant men. We need some skilled players. We don't need cookie cutters. We need our athletes to figure out who are you, what's important to you, what do you stand for? What are your core values? Why are you doing this? This is going to be hard. What's going to make you keep going when things are difficult? And then, how do you compete?
Speaker 1:How do you want people to describe your effort, your composure, your resilience? What kind of person are you? What kind of player are you? Why have you earned the right to be confident? What's your mentality like on the court? What do you bring to the team? Do you have energy? Do you have toughness? Do you have leadership? Do you need to improve some of those areas?
Speaker 1:Anytime we replaced a great quarterback, the very first conversation with the upcoming quarterback or quarterbacks who were going to be competing for the starting job the next season was that kid is gone. Yes, he was the greatest passer in school history from career passing yard standpoint. Yes, he could stand in the pocket and chuck the rock. No, you are not him. You do not need to try to emulate him. You need to be you and you need to be the best version of you. What's that look like?
Speaker 1:Which brings us to chapter seven, isaac sent me a text. He said this is so far his absolute favorite chapter in the book, one of the points that I love to drive home when I'm doing the team workshop called biopsychology of team sports, where we're basically looking at the things that are in John Wooden's pyramid of success. You know all of these things like hard work and teamwork that coaches have been preaching about for decades. Well, the more advanced we get in brain imaging, the more and more it's like okay, here's what we can prove is going on in your mind and your body. I can tell you with a great deal of certainty here are some ways that your team can be at their best, and we talk about body language and how it impacts the confidence, competitiveness and focus of not just you and not just your teammates, but also even your opponents and even your coaches.
Speaker 1:There are all kinds of arguments that can be made on both sides of. Should we teach this concept of? If you don't feel it, fake it? We teach this concept of? If you don't feel it, fake it. There are arguments on both sides that I respect, but I will firmly take a stand on this. If my quarterback throws an interception and he is walking off the field and he has this urge to stare at the ground, to mope off the field. I would much rather he fake it and get his eyes up, find the top row of the bleachers, jog off with a little bit of pace and at least send the message to his teammates. You know what? Maybe he does still have it together, even if he's not feeling it in that moment.
Speaker 1:There's research done that kids as young as three years old can identify major emotions, and this is across language barriers, this is across cultures. Humans at the age of three can identify things like happiness and sadness and anger. And so in this biopsychology of team sports presentation, I'll have everybody in the room stand up and I'll say, with just your eyes, show me bad body language and now show me good body language. And then I'll say you know, by only moving your head. And then we'll say you know, now include your shoulders or your entire upper body. And then I'll bring somebody up. If it's a baseball team, you just struck out and now you're walking back to the dugout. Or a golfer you just missed a putt and now you have to walk up and mark your ball. Show me bad body language as you make that walk. Now show me good body language. And if we were grading people, everyone that I've ever talked to, everyone that's ever done this activity, has scored a 100%.
Speaker 1:Your players don't need you to teach them what good or bad body language is. Your players already know what it is. They need a plan. So if I've got somebody who struggles with body language, I'm going to, I'm going to help them figure out. When does this happen? Is it after you strike out? Is it after you throw an interception? Is it after you give up an easy cut to the basket? Perfect. Now what's your plan going to be? The plan is not oh, we're going to have good body language. The plan is I'm going to get my shoulders back. I'm going to look at the top bleacher, or I'm going to find a light, or I'm going to find a cloud in the sky, something that's going to get their head up, their shoulders back. I'm going to walk with a little bit of pace and I'm at least going to send the message to my teammates or my opponents or the coaches hey, I'm still here and I'm still competing.
Speaker 1:I have only actually done this one time, but, man, was it powerful. I had this head coach and I was working with their coaching staff and we were talking about confidence and we were talking about body language and they were so frustrated with their players and they were so frustrated with the lack of confidence and good body language and I actually I went to one of their games and I pulled out my cell phone and I just started recording the sideline. I'm not going to lie, that was not necessarily an easy, fun, gentle conversation. Afterwards. It was like, guys, I know you're not happy with the body language that you're getting or the confidence that you're getting out there on the field, but like, let's watch a few clips here of how you respond when a kid makes a mistake and how you respond when something doesn't go well. So I think, even as coaches, it's like this isn't in the book, but man, it's important that we've got our plan. Like it's important you know what the book? But man, it's important that we've got our plan. Like it's important. You know what, if my kid screws up, I'm going to clap three times. I'm going to look up something tall and I'm going to say, hey, we're good, we got this. Or I'm going to have some pre-planned, pre-rehearsed thing that prevents me from throwing my hands in the air, chucking my hat and my clipboard at the ground.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that you can't have emotion. I'm not saying that there are not appropriate times for you to stand up for your players. Have a conversation with the official that lets your team know that you're there and you're alive, and you care and you're fighting for them. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is if, every single time that one of your guys makes a mistake, you have this same negative body language over and over and over, they are going to be terrified of making mistakes and they are not going to play as confidently as they could. And as coaches, it's so easy to expect our players to do this, but we have to be accountable also. So if that's difficult for you, if that's difficult for your staff, get a camera out, just like Becky Burley did at the University of Florida, and point it at your sideline. And you don't have to spend a ton of time on this, and you don't have to beat a dead horse and you don't have to use this to make people feel bad about themselves. But there has to be some sort of accountability. So find a way to do that.
Speaker 1:If I'm a player, if I'm an athlete, I want to have a plan. If I'm an athlete, I want to know when do I have a tendency to go negative with my body language? What am I going to do about it? If I'm a coach, I need a way to communicate to my guys that this matters and, in my mind, the, the biopsychology of team sports, the whole this impacts confidence, competitiveness and focus, like in my mind. You can explain that well enough that teenagers will say oh, okay, yeah, maybe this does matter, maybe we should be intentional about this. So maybe you feel like you've said this over and over and over and over. Let's change that up. Let's not just keep doing the same thing over and over and over. Do they need to understand it a little more? Maybe you need to have a conversation with the captains, is it? Yeah, coach, you're telling us this, but I mean the coaching staff and the culture is saying something different. Maybe it's the players don't think it's that big of a deal. Figure out why the body language isn't good. Figure out why you're not being intentional with that body language and then teach them how to do better.
Speaker 1:Which brings us to chapter eight, the self-talk brick. And I do want to. I do want to throw in here because I think it's easy. It's easy to see how the identity piece maybe is chosen. But I think sometimes the body language and the self-talk can feel like well, aren't those actions? Like aren't those things that we're doing? And I would say yes. But I also think there's a little bit more. I think that we don't want to just naturally let those things happen. We need to choose ahead of time how are we going to carry ourselves, how are we going to talk to ourselves? That's why they're in this part or this section of the book, at the start of chapter 8, page 100,.
Speaker 1:I love that example there where Bill would walk every day outside past this kid, jordan, who had these big dreams, these big hopes of being in the NBA someday. And Bill would walk by and go eh, you're not good enough. No, that shot was awful, you're never going to be quick enough to play at the next level. One of my favorite things to do is basically take this story and morph it and get somebody upset, get somebody to have an emotional reaction and go. You know what? That's a load of crap. That's not fair. My son or my daughter was doing this. Can you believe what this coach said to them? Or can you believe what this other kid said to them and then rattle off a few examples from their sport? You're not good enough, you don't shoot well enough, you're not fast enough, you can't catch, you can't hit, and man really just play it up and maybe even ask somebody in the audience or ask one of your players like what I mean, what do you, what do you think should be done to this person? Who's harassing this child, who's telling this kid that they don't have what it takes? You know, it was even more powerful when it was my team that I was coaching and they knew my son or they knew my daughter. And so now there's like this, this emotion that they can just feel that's not right and then flip it around and say, but how many of you are talking to yourselves that way? I think it. I think the more emotion we can get them to feel on the front end, the more powerful this is on the back end when they realize like this was sort of just a made up fable.
Speaker 1:We were just trying to, to tell a story and to prove a point here. Those of you that have been listening for a while or maybe you're familiar with the focus cycle like obviously you've heard the story of the go-to statement, but I want to tell it again because I know we're going to have some new people listening to this. So we, we were. We were going down to Lucas oil stadium to play in this, this regular season showcase game, and it was against a team that traditionally just destroyed us. They had all kinds of guys going full ride, d one. We didn't really have anybody.
Speaker 1:At the time that was signed, my self-talk was just in such a negative place and it was like I don't know if we're going to be able to beat these guys. And so I'm reading about in this textbook about a go-to statement, about this statement that you can go to when things are difficult or when your mind's starting to veer off and get negative. It started off why are you great? And I listed out uh, I watch a lot of film and I'm organized not a real impressive list. And then it said what, what do you want to achieve? What are you working toward achieving? But phrase it powerfully as if you're already there.
Speaker 1:And I wrote down I, I'm the best coach in the state. It probably, it probably had like that question mark sound at the end of it, because as soon as I said it, there was this voice in the back of my mind that was like you're not even the best coach on your staff. What are you talking about? And, man, when I, when I combined those two together and I came up with I put in the time, I put in the work, I'm the best coach in the state. And not only did it work, but it worked so well that that next day I told all of the guys in my position group you're going to have one of these. I didn't really understand the science behind it, but I know that this works because I just felt it work and we're going to do this and you're going to do this. And just year after year after year, seeing countless athletes just over and over and over, use this thing. Man, it's powerful. We could we could literally do, and have done, entire podcasts on just this topic.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to tell you when I can speak from personal experience and tell my athletes how unbelievably powerful this is and how other athletes that I've worked with have used this. There's instant credibility. So if you work with athletes, I would encourage you to either do this yourself or find someone in your sport who talks about this on a regular basis. There's all kinds of examples out there. I want to maybe try and prevent a email firestorm here, so I'm going to preface this comment with my faith. Is is really important to me. I don't always do a great job of living that out, but my relationship with Jesus has given me peace. That's difficult to explain. I want explain. I want to preface with that. Okay, I have had a whole bunch of athletes who have said to me like I don't need this go-to statement. I have this verse that I live by and they have like a you know, I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me, or some other verse right, that is powerful to them, speaks with them. I totally support that. I love that. I have also worked with quite a few athletes who have some sort of verse like this but it's not quote unquote saving them in these big moments.
Speaker 1:I've worked with quite a few athletes where it's almost like they're waiting for God to just magically make things happen. It reminds me of the story where, you know, there was a town that had flooded and somebody came by and knocked on the door and said, hey, you need to evacuate, floodwaters are coming. And they said, nah, it's okay, I don't, I don't need to evacuate, god's going to save me. And then, all of a sudden, the floodwaters started to rise and so you know somebody the, the police, came through on a, on a raft or on a boat and said, hey, hop in the. The floodwaters are rising. And they said no, no, no, it's, it's good, god's going to save me. And then, all of a sudden, like this person has to get all the way up on top of the roof and the national guard comes with a helicopter and they're like, hey, get in, we got to go.
Speaker 1:And this person says no, no, no, it's okay, god's going to save me. And this person ultimately ends up drowning and they get to heaven and they, they say God, what, what are you doing? Where were you? Why didn't you save me? And he just looks at him and says, well, I, I sent the neighbors and the police and the national guard, and I'm not trying to get into some big theological debate. Okay, I'm not trying to get into some, let's break down the whole. You know, I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me, wasn't written so that you could go win a baseball game. I'm not trying to get into that debate. I'm simply trying to make the point that I believe there are times where, yes, god is with you, god is providing you strength, god is giving you what you need to sustain you and to keep going. But God expects you to do something. God didn't strike Goliath down with a lightning bolt from the sky. David killed Goliath. God didn't just build a bridge for the Israelites. Moses raised a staff and the waters were parted.
Speaker 1:I don't think that, even within a biblical perspective, that God wants us to just sit around and wait and hope. He wants us to walk forward and step out in faith that, yes, he is going to provide, yes, he is going to strengthen, yes, he is going to be with us and not forsake us, and we have a part to play. Also and I only bring this up because I have worked with a ton of athletes in a one-on-one setting who have said some version of I don't need a go-to statement, god's got this. I would challenge you if you're kind of in that same boat as an individual athlete, or if you're a coach who's having a conversation with an athlete, can we maybe try to tie the two together. Can we maybe just incorporate your faith, your beliefs, into this? Somehow my reading of the Bible doesn't paint a picture of a God who's anti-confidence. There's certainly a balance there between some confidence and some pride issues and things like that. But I do think it's appropriate to gently encourage, like we don't want this paralysis by faith. We don't want this. I'm just going to wait and hope that somebody else takes care of it, or God takes care of this, and I don't think the two have to be opposed to each other.
Speaker 1:I have I've also worked with a whole bunch of athletes who feel like positivity is fake. I just screwed up. How in the world can I have some positive statement? And I totally get that as well. I think positive quote unquote positivity can get a really bad rap when we just try to be all rainbows and sunshines and unicorns and yay, let's be happy with mediocrity. That's not what we're talking about either. But instead of allowing ourselves to just spiral into, to ruminate into this deep, dark hole of I'm not good enough or I don't have what it takes, or this is so terrible, how do we remind ourselves like no, I've got this, I've put in the time, I've put in the work I have what it takes to keep going and keep fighting in spite of these circumstances. That's where we're trying to get to.
Speaker 1:So again, whether you're going to use the activity that's in the workbook, whether you're going to use the go-to statement, whether you're going to use the three-word reset, the power phrase reframe, I would say from a priority standpoint, I usually try and start with a go-to statement. In my experience, that has given the most athletes the most benefit. All of the rest of the stuff has been included because there are times like I've got an athlete who's a division one golfer, hates the go-to statement, but if he can just remind himself to let it rip, just hit the ball, go find the ball and hit it again and not overthink things and not overcomplicate things, man, he's in such a better state. There was a professional race car driver that I worked with and his was some colorful language, uh, sort of along the lines of forget it, and it was just like you know what, forget it, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna worry, forget it, I'm not going to. I'm not going to worry about the sponsors. I'm not going to worry about this or that or the other cars, or the time or the past or what this is going to mean financially or where I'm at in qualifications. Forget it. Just do my thing, just go, and I think there's a time and a place for that.
Speaker 1:One of the more analytical guys that I've ever worked with was probably Nick Ferrer, and I don't mind sharing this because he came on the podcast season one and shared it himself. He basically took my go-to statement I put in the time I put in the work I'm the best coach in the state and just replaced it with player, and there was a great deal of comfort for him thinking through and analyzing. You know what I have put in a lot of time. You know what I have put in a lot of work. You know what, doggone it, I do have what it takes. I am ready for this. I am the best one out here. Let's go do this thing.
Speaker 1:And there are some athletes that that much thinking and that much processing makes them uncomfortable, makes them freeze up. We don't want that. So find what works, but at the end of the day, it's what we close every single podcast episode with right. We say make your plan and put it to work. That is the goal. That is what we need to do with this self-talk brick is we need to figure out what is my plan, not hope that I'm going to magically somehow just default to positivity which isn't going to happen, by the way but instead think it through, be proactive, have a plan, figure out. This is what I'm going to say, this is how I'm going to place this self-talk brick and then go do it.
Speaker 1:Another thing if you're working with individual athletes, do not let them change this in the middle of a game, in the middle of a round, anything like that. It will be completely detrimental to this whole activity. If, while you're trying to compete, you're also trying to analyze is this working? Is this giving me the psychological edge that I want? No, we come up with the plan, we put it to work, we go do it. I would say we even do it more than once or twice. I mean the.
Speaker 1:The textbook was saying that we were supposed to say this 50 times a day until we start to believe it. Like you got to give this thing a chance to sink in. It's not a magical spell. This isn't Harry Potter. You can't. Just you know abracadabra and all of a sudden, all your doubts go away and you feel confident, but over a long enough timeframe. When you do repeat these things over and over and over, it changes the wiring inside of your brain.
Speaker 1:That being said, if the athlete has done this for a week or two and it's like you know what this isn't working, sometimes the question is well, why do you not believe it? Like, do we need to do? We need to take a deep look at you. Know, you wrote down, I put in the time, I put in the work, but you don't put in the time and you haven't put in the work. We need to go back to that rep brick and you need to actually get some work in. Man, or is it just too long? Is it distracting? Can we shorten it? Or is it maybe just one specific situation Like the?
Speaker 1:The go-to statement is really good most of the time, but when this one little thing happens, I need to remind myself of something different or I need to direct my focus somewhere a little bit different. Great, so what do you want to remind yourself of? Let's come up with that statement, let's use that statement. This doesn't have to be. This isn't like a one-shot fixes all, but I will say that the go-to statement, in my experience, has given the most people the most benefit. I've got a handwritten letter here and it's one of my former athletes thanking me because she finally believes her go-to statement and I still have this. It was about six months after we had started working together. So one of the things I tell my athletes is like just because this doesn't immediately fix everything and change everything, doesn't mean that it's not working. Stay committed to this, keep it in front of you, say it to yourself in the mirror, put it on the background screen of your phone, put it on your door, put it in your locker. Like get this in front of you, remind yourself of this and use this tool to build that confidence.
Speaker 1:If you've gotten anything out of this episode, I would greatly, greatly appreciate if you wouldn't mind following or liking or leaving a comment, leaving a review. As of the time of this recording, the confidence book doesn't have any reviews on Amazon. It's still pretty new. Even my best friend, I don't think, has finished the book. If you've gotten something out of this, if it's helped you, I would love for you to just leave a review on Amazon. Just let the algorithm know hey, this is a real thing, this is a good resource.
Speaker 1:Here's how it helped me and, more importantly, let other people know, from a human perspective, why is this going to help me. One of my athletes that I'm working with one-on-one, told me I feel like you wrote this book for me and, man, I hope that's true for more than just that one athlete. I hope that you get a ton out of this. If there's anything that I can do to make these episodes more beneficial, if there's anything you want me to go a little bit deeper into or to explain a little bit more, I'm happy to do that. Again, I'm trying to give you guys the most value that I possibly can in this episode. If there's somebody else that you think would benefit from this, please don't hesitate to share it with them. Appreciate you guys so much and, until next time, make your plan, put it to work.