What parts of yourself do you hide, repress, or deny? Whatever is in your "shadow" can subconsciously drive everything you do. Roy Wooten unpacks the concept of the shadow, how it works, and what his healing journey has looked like—from not feeling lovable as a boy, to surviving sexual abuse, to breaking free through embodied healing experiences at The Crucible Project.

Roy Wooten serves as the Executive Director of The Crucible Project. With decades of experience as a counselor and ministry leader, Roy is deeply committed to personal transformation, relational health, and spiritual growth. He is best known for helping thousands of people improve their relationships through retreats, seminars, and coaching sessions. Learn more at thecrucibleproject.org/roywooten

More resources from Roy Wooten and The Crucible Project:

• Unstuck: 7 Steps to Break Free and Live Courageously (free eBook)
• Sign up for a Christian Men's Retreat (initial weekend)

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• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

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In this powerful live demo, John Kilmer guides Drew Boa in parts work focused on Drew's addiction to screens. This episode is an example of Manly Monday, one of the weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA this week only at joinHMA.com.

John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He's a grateful follower of Jesus who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is shame? How does evil use shame against us, and what does healing look like? Dr. Curt Thompson explores shame through the lens of Scripture, neuroscience, and spiritual formation in community. Stay until the end to hear how Jesus meets us in our shame. What a beautiful conversation!

Dr. Curt Thompson is a compassionate psychiatrist who weaves together an understanding of interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and a Christian view of what it means to be human. Through Curt's workshops, books, private clinical practice, and other platforms, he helps people fully experience our deepest longing: to be known. Learn more at curtthompsonmd.com

More resources by Curt Thompson:

• The Being Known Podcast
• Confessional Communities
• The Soul Of Shame (book)
• All books by Curt Thompson

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Are you afraid that processing your sexual fantasies might lead to a relapse? Do you have concerns based on your understanding of the Bible? Does your wife have concerns? In this episode, you'll hear three reasons why processing your sexual fantasies can feel threatening, and what it looks like to do this work safely.

Register now for the Sexual Fantasy Workshop: HMA In A Day (Saturday, July 12) at husbandmaterial.com/workshop

Examples of safely processing sexual fantasies:

• Unburdening Sexual Arousal (Dr. Peter Malinoski working with Drew Boa)
• The Guy In The Locker Room (Drew Boa working with Jordan Castille)
• How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy (Drew Boa and Dr. Doug Carpenter working with each other)

The insights on how to support your spouse's individual recovery and protect your marriage came from Stephen Thomas Consulting.

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Do you find yourself more susceptible to sexual temptation while traveling? Jake Kastleman helps you prepare to for the challenges of trips, vacations, and other disruptions to your daily routine—especially during the summer. You'll get tips on setting healthy expectations, creating structure while letting go of perfectionism, and preventing relapse.

Jake Kastleman is a porn addiction recovery coach and the founder of No More Desire. He holds a degree in Psychology from Utah Valley University. Now over 10 years sober from porn, Jake coaches men one-on-one across the world using a multi-dimensional approach rooted in neuroscience, psychology, parts work, emotional mindfulness, and spiritual growth. His work helps men not just quit porn, but overcome the root causes of cravings and reclaim their purpose and connection to what matters most.

Learn more and connect with Jake:

• No More Desire (Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery)
• The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn (Free Workshop)
• 10 Quick Mental Techniques to Stop Porn Cravings (Free eBook)

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

When one person has a history of same-sex attraction and another has a history of relying on porn, how is a Christ-centered marriage possible? Christy and Mark Summers tell their incredible story, both individually and as a couple.

Christy and Mark Summers are the co-founders of Redeemed Seasons Ministries, where they care for and support Christian men and women seeking healing and wholeness through Jesus in their relationships, their identity, and their sexuality. Christy and Mark offer one-on-one and couple-to-couple soul care and spiritual direction. They also facilitate support groups for family and friends of LGBTQ-identified loved ones. Learn more at redeemedseasons.org

Resources from Redeemed Seasons:

• Rescue & Restoring (free 12-week healing & discipleship course)
• At My Right Hand (support group for family & friends of LGBTQ loved ones)
• Spiritual Direction (request an appointment)

Other ministries mentioned in this episode:

• Restored Hope Network
• Living Waters (Desert Stream Ministries)

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Do you feel confused or overwhelmed by trying to understand unwanted sexual attraction from a Christian perspective? In this episode, you'll hear the strengths and limitations of Side A, Side B, Side X, Side Y—and a new perspective on unwanted sexual attraction: the Sexual Development Model (SDM).

Download the Sexual Development Model chart at https://husbandmaterial.com/sdm

Referenced in this episode:

• Differing Views on Christian Doctrine, Identity, and Homosexuality by Jason Thompson (chart)
• The 5 Streams: Differing Responses To LGBTQ by Linda Seilor (chart)
• How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over Time (podcast) by Drew Boa
• Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexual Development (DVD) by Clifford and Joyce Penner

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is breathwork and how can it help you outgrow porn? Burke Atkerson masterfully explains the value of breathwork by drawing from Christian spirituality, neuroscience, and powerful personal experiences.  If you stay until the end, you'll learn an extremely effective breathing technique called the physiological sigh. I loved this episode and I know you will, too.

Burke Atkerson is the founder of Fire Nights and Men Fully Alive. He is an author, coach, and breathwork instructor—as well as a recovering addict, a failed missionary, and an undeserving husband and a grateful father of six.

Buy Burke's book, Fire Nights: Forging Brotherhood That Heals.

Learn more and connect with Burke at menfullyalive.com.

Register now for the Husband Material Retreat at https://husbandmaterial.com/retreat!

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

In this episode, Burke Atkerson tells his story. You'll hear how he sexualized the need to be seen, safe, and soothed—and nearly burned down his marriage. In the ashes, Burke finally found the community that he didn't realize he needed. Fire Nights is his response to the loneliness epidemic plaguing men.

Burke Atkerson is the founder of Fire Nights and Men Fully Alive. He is an author, coach, and breathwork instructor—as well as a recovering addict, a failed missionary, and an undeserving husband and a grateful father of six.

Buy Burke's book, Fire Nights: Forging Brotherhood That Heals.

Join the movement of men building authentic brotherhood in their backyards at firenights.net.

Learn more and connect with Burke at menfullyalive.com.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Learn twenty ways running or walking can help you outgrow porn. I’m super passionate about this!

Join Husband Material on Strava for encouragement and motivation to exercise: https://strava.app.link/Se2l3eYhuTb

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What does it mean to objectify yourself? Sam Jolman explains objectification, why and how we objectify ourselves, and what healing and repentance can look like. 

Sam Jolman (MA, LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. His writing flows out of this unique opportunity to help people know and heal their stories, and find greater sexual wholeness and aliveness. He received his master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care through the Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Sam lives in Colorado with his wife and three sons. Fun fact: Sam and Drew attend the same church! Learn more at samjolman.com

Buy Sam's book: The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality

Write a review of The Sex Talk You Never Got: https://amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=1400243904

Listen to Sam's first Husband Material interview: It's Good To Be Aroused (with Sam Jolman)

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is problematic sexual behavior (PSB)? Bill Herring, creator of the PSB Framework, explains the history behind this important concept—and how it can help men outgrowing porn.

Bill Herring (LCSW, CSAT) is a psychotherapist who has influenced the development of sex addiction theory and practice over the past 30 years. In 2019, Bill received the annual "Carnes Award" from the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) for his overall contributions to the field of problematic sexual behavior.

Read Bill's summary of PSB: https://www.billherring.com/problematic-sexual-behavior-framework-summary

Watch Bill's 11-minute video: https://youtu.be/1NZCr-5dyjM?si=L74h9wulfDff_Map

Learn more and connect with Bill at billherring.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is enmeshment? How and why does mother enmeshment set men up to struggle with porn? In this episode, you'll learn ten sexual symptoms of enmeshment and how to outgrow it.

Resources mentioned in this episode (including paid links):

• Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, by Ken Adams (book)
• When He's Married To Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment, by Ken Adams (book)
• Healing With My Parents (the podcast episode where I interviewed my parents, Yvonne and Sandy Boa, about healing as a family)

Want to outgrow enmeshment on your way to outgrowing porn?

Join the waitlist for HMA at joinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Hear Ken Freire's story of healing from childhood sexual abuse, achieving lasting freedom from porn, and finding joy and purpose in Christ.

Ken Freire owns Scriptures.blog and hosts the Shame(less) Podcast. Ken has been helping Christian men break free from addiction and reclaim their purpose for the last 15 years. Through his own journey of overcoming abuse, shame, and embracing God’s grace, he aims to equip others with biblical wisdom and practical tools for lasting transformation. He's been married for 13 years and has 4 beautiful children. Ken has a Master’s in Divinity from Regent University, is a Full Focus Certified Pro, and a Prepare & Enrich Facilitator. 

Connect with Ken:

• Podcast: beshameless.org
• Website: scriptures.blog
• Instagram: instagram.com/kenfreire
• Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/kenfreire/

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What determines marital satisfaction more than sex or money? What if "compromise" actually makes things worse? How do you create a marriage you love? Sheila Wray Gregoire unpacks the results of her latest research with thousands of married couples, calling out harmful evangelical teachings and sharing a surprising new data on what it takes to build the marriage you want.

Buy Sheila's new book: The Marriage You Want: Moving beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com as well
as a sought-after speaker and award-winning author of nine books. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing
the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to make it healthy,
evidence-based, and biblical. She and her husband, Keith, live in Ontario,
Canada.

Learn more at BareMarriage.com.

More books by Sheila Wray Gregoire (paid links):

• The Marriage You Want
• The Good Guy's Guide To Great Sex
• The Good Girl's Guide To Great Sex
• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What's your plan for outgrowing porn? The Five Circles tool will help you define what freedom looks like, why it matters, and how to set yourself up for success.

Download the Five Circles Of Freedom worksheet at husbandmaterial.com/freedom 

Mentioned in this episode:

• Tools For Healing: The Three Circles (blog)
• Staci Sprout (creator of the Five Circles Model)
• How To Reframe A Porn Relapse (podcast episode)
• Unwanted, by Jay Stringer (book; paid link)
• The Five Circles Of Freedom (worksheet)

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

How can men protect women instead of complying with sexism and abuse? Dr. Andrew Bauman shares the results of his research with over 2,800 Christian women, and what men need to hear in order to advocate for change in our churches and communities.

Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) and has served as a mental health counselor. Also formerly a pastor, Andrew now works with men and women to bring healing and wholeness to their sexual and spiritual lives.

Buy Andrew's books (paid links):

• Safe Church
• How Not To Be An *SS
• The Sexually Healthy Man
• The Psychology Of Porn
• Stumbling Toward Wholeness

Learn more about Andrew's 4-day men's workshops here.

Connect with Andrew at andrewjbauman.com.

Also mentioned in this episode:

• Dr. Christy Bauman
• Dr. Diane Langberg
• GRACE: Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Am I abusive? How can I acknowledge the truth without beating myself up? What makes a good and safe man? Dr. Andrew Bauman explains two ways to be abusive, the difference between humility and self-hatred, and how to express clean anger and fight fair.

Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) and has served as a mental health counselor. Also formerly a pastor, Andrew now works with men and women to bring healing and wholeness to their sexual and spiritual lives.

Buy Andrew's books (paid links):

• Safe Church
• How Not To Be An *SS
• The Sexually Healthy Man
• The Psychology Of Porn
• Stumbling Toward Wholeness

Learn more about Andrew's 4-day men's workshops here.

Connect with Andrew at andrewjbauman.com.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

When I watch porn, when I relapse, when I wander, when I make mistakes... in the middle of my sin, how does God really feel about me?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Inheritance: Message by Graham Cooke (video)
• God Has A Name, by John Mark Comer (book; paid link)
• How Jesus Reverses The Curse (podcast)

Here are a few of the Bible passages we talked about:

• Matthew 3:13-4:11
• John 15:9
• Romans 5:8
• 1 John 2:1
• Psalm 103
• Luke 15

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What are the building blocks of a healthy relationship? In this episode, Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith reveal the "Intimacy Pyramid" of what is required for trust and intimacy—especially for couples healing from sexual betrayal. Get wisdom from two people who rebuilt their marriage after porn almost destroyed it.

Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors of the book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time (paid link). They have over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.

Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.

Download the Raabsmiths' free check-in: The Honest Connection.

Get a copy of Building True Intimacy to dive into the Intimacy Pyramid.

Learn more and connect with Matthew and Joanna at raabsmithteam.com.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Why do I feel so disconnected from other people...and myself? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci unpacks the reasons why many men struggle to emotionally connect. You'll learn about the talker, the fixer, the thinker, the nice guy, "Mr. Right," the runner, the distractor, and the flopper.

Mark your calendar for Drew and Eddie's upcoming workshop:

Emotional Connection Workshop For Men

Friday April 11, 2025 (replays available)

Learn more and register now here.

https://drew-boa.mykajabi.com/workshop

Related resources featuring Eddie:

• Why Men Struggle To Love (book; paid link)
• Becoming Emotionally Mature (podcast)
• How Do I Help My Hurting Spouse? (podcast)

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

When did you first hear the word "sex" or "porn" or "masturbation"? The first time you ever hear a word has a disproportionate impact. This is called the power of first mention, and it is an extremely important principle for sex education.

Related resources and episodes: 

• TheSexTalk.com (online course for parents)
• Having The Talks: A Guided Conversation Game On Sexuality For Parents And Children (paid link)
• How To Teach Children About Sexuality (with Adam and Karissa King)
• How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex (with Rodney and Traci Wright)
• Healing With My Parents (with Yvonne Boa and Sandy Boa)
• The 2025 Husband Material Retreat (with a breakout session on sex education)

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Most of us were never taught how to be vulnerable when we’re sexually struggling. In this episode, Henry Brown shares a simple framework called “scratches, scabs, and scars” to help you decide what to share, when to share, how much to share, and who to trust. 

Henry Brown is the Director Of Operations & Support at Husband Material. He is nationally certified as a Life Coach, Recovery Coach, and Sex Addiction Coach. Henry is also a Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at henrybrown.net

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is narcissistic personality disorder, and how does it interact with porn and sex addiction? For someone with NPD or narcissistic traits, what does healing and growth look like?

Dr. Alexandra Repke (CSAT, EMDR, C-PD) is a Christian psychologist who typically work with successful professionals facing challenges in their relationships or careers, often stemming from issues related to addiction, personality, or trauma. She is a lifelong learner, committed to understanding the complexities of mental health and advocating for practical, impactful solutions.

Learn more at repkepsychologicalservices.com

Books mentioned (these are paid links):

• Thanks for the Feedback, by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen
• The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists, by Eleanor Payson
• A Game Free Life, by Stephen Karpman

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What if Every Man’s Battle is wrong? In this episode, I share how I recently chose to “bounce my eyes” (as Every Man’s Battle teaches) and why I later regretted it. You’ll learn 3 reasons why bouncing your eyes is problematic—and what you can do instead when you see a sexually attractive person or picture. 

Related Episodes:

• When You Get An Erection...
• What To Do When You See Attractive People
• Outgrowing Porn vs. Purity Culture

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!