Season 7 Episode 5: The Word on Coaching - Transformation

This podcast episode will help you get your mind right.

Our guest Cindy Whitmore shares some interesting ideas on transformation.
I am still thinking about what she shares about stepping into transforming and being willing to have the discipline to transform.

Cindy is a respected leader, entrepreneur, and executive coach successfully impacting leaders in career advancement and profitability. With over 25 years of experience training, teaching, doing behavioral research, and working abroad, she has become an expert in leadership development and team strategy. Her passion for working globally across a wide range of organizations has given her a depth of experience in coaching and training.

 This episode is for us. You won’t regret investing a few minutes in considering how you are embracing or shying away from the change that could transform your life.

Contact information:
Cindy Whitmoyer | LEADZ (leadzcoach.com)

 (30) Cindy Whitmoyer, MCC (ongoing) | LinkedIn

Books Recommended in this episode:
Leading with Questions: How Leaders Find the Right Solutions by Knowing What to Ask: Marquardt, Michael J.: 9781118658130: Amazon.com: Books

Check out our best-selling book The Word on Coaching.  Buy a copy for yourself and copies to share with others.
Amazon.com: The Word on Coaching: 9781737643807: Neely, Debby, Auger, Joann, Fuselier, Kevin: Books

Check out our  quick guide about powerful questions: "Embrace the Power of Questions!"   A Quick Reference Guide to Getting the Answers You Need.  

Transcript

Debby: 0:04

Hello, everybody. Welcome to the word on coaching podcast. I am Debbie. I'm here with Kevin. Hi, Kevin.

Kevin: 0:12

Good evening.

Debby: 0:14

And also Joanne. Hey, Joanne.

JoAnn: 0:23

We're off to a great start. I was muted again. Hello everyone.

Debby: 0:29

We'll take it. As Cindy said, that's the word of the night. You're muted, right? So we are coaches three, three friends with years of leadership and coaching experience who want to share our passion with others. And we have a lot of that. We have a lot of passion. And our podcasts are for leaders, whether you have the formal title or not, because we know a lot of you are out there leading without that title. Now, we focus on one word that relates to leadership and coaching, and we know leadership is hard. So we, along with our guests, are going to give you tips, information, a different perspective, and always a lot of support. We've got your back. Today we are excited to welcome Cindy Whitmoyer. And let me tell you a little bit about Cindy. Cindy is the co founder and CEO, as well as a growth executive coach at Leeds, and I love how Leeds describes themselves on their website. Leeds is an organization that is highly respected, women owned, and on a mission to identify, coach, and elevate human centered leaders. I love that. Cindy is a master certified coach. And in her bio, the other thing that stuck out to me is it says that Cindy has never met a stranger and that, that has never been truer about anybody. Cindy and I've experienced that personally. Like you were just one of those, just welcome people that just, everyone is your friend and you know, everyone is part of your community and I love that about you. So Cindy, what else would you like our audience to know?

Cindy: 2:01

Well, I want to clarify, I'm not master certified through the ICF yet. I'm working on that. I am master trained. But of course, as everyone has to go through the credentialing process I'm going through that process right now. So this, of course, I know will add value to the process of. Coaching and having these conversations with like minds is always so valuable. And I'm just really honored to be here today as you know, Kevin and Joanne, I feel like I know you as well. Reading this book that you have written is just miraculous. The, the way it's set up and, you know, really looking at all the different things around coaching and what it's like to be a coach and a leader. And I am so excited. I'm so glad that we're going to have this conversation today was really looking forward to this moment. So thank you.

Debby: 2:48

Thank you. Thank you for being here. Yeah. So for today's episode, our word drumroll is transformation. Now, when Cindy and I were batting around some possible words, I noticed a change in her. That's what we, that's what we coaches do, right? We notice things about people. And when the word transformation came up, her energy just exploded, which is saying a lot for Cindy off the bat. She shared that she has a passion for supporting others with transformation. That's one of her things that she loves to do. And she has a certification in change management for individuals and organizations. And on top of that, she just shared with us that she has moved 16 times. So I believe she's more than qualified to talk about this word transformation. Cindy, when we were talking, you had mentioned a process to help with the transformation. Tell us a little bit about that process. What does that entail?

Cindy: 3:47

'Yeah, so, and I also noticed that reading your book, you all also mentioned William Bridges and that's really who I think has done so well articulating what change is really like and transformation and changes situational. You can have multiple changes at 1 time, right? So there's complex change. And then what I love is William. Bridges talked about the transformation process, and he says through, something ending, there'll be new beginnings. And, you know, reflecting on my life as a young child moving a lot as my dad was always the, the fixer in the company. And so they would move them anywhere they needed something fixed. And then being a military spouse and traveling with my husband you know, while he was serving in the Marine Corps, it's like, yeah, something Something does end and then it's the process, that whole transformation process of getting to that space of new beginnings, which I always say it becomes a little bit more comfortable and more familiar. But there is actually a process that we have to walk through. And I love coaching those processes of change and and managing change and when I realized that I could relate to that model that William Bridges allows us to have this thought process and really go in internally. To understand that there's a human behind a change. It just blossomed into something that I really have just focused on from a career perspective as a coach. So letting go and then redefining, he says, is that space. Once we move past resistance, we can sort of redefine where we are through that process. And then we travel to those new beginnings. And I even love that. He I love infinity sign. So he even makes it where you flow in and out of this process. You can go back. You hit new beginnings. Another change may happen and you may find yourself right back into the space of letting go. I really love the fact how you guys are articulated and. Change and in here, right before you move into that coaching space, and it was like, yeah, William bridges. If I could give anyone advice that's going through change and and experiencing transformation, because it's the transformation. That's the long haul, right? It's not necessarily the change. It's that transformation process. That he can really give you some great insight how to travel through that time. And I'm coaching. Not only coaching is also a great resource for that as well. You, you need to experience. Something that can go through that time with you. And I think that's a lot of times where you guys even said it, it's not something, if you know, there's an experience or a change that's coming, often leaders want to put a pause on things. Oh, we got to wait. We're going to make some changes. And I say, no, that is not the time to pause. That's the time to lean in. And that's the time for support. That's time for transparency. And that's a time to Start building understanding and started defining letting go. I'll give you an example. A company actually during COVID decided before the company would come back to work, they changed the desk and the chairs. And some people came back with new desk and chairs and I can tell you that is a change and some people are like, wait a minute. I have sat in that chair for 7 years and it is, it is formed to my body and you took my chair. I mean, really, we have to think about just some of the small little nuances that can matter to the people that we're leading and it disrupts psychological safety for people and so much more. So I would say if someone, if a leader is about to experience a change or a company is about to experience a change, This is where you don't hesitate. This is where you step in as a leader and command that moment and having resources for those people that you are leading to continue that trust and to, to move through that transformation together is powerful.

Kevin: 7:54

I love what you're saying about transformation and the fact that you're talking about stepping into transformation when it seems like so many times we kind of shy or draw back from transformation, but, you know, becoming that new and better is what transformation is all about. I love, your thoughts around that idea of transformation. Cindy. Yeah, thank you.

JoAnn: 8:13

Yeah, that that was a great, you know, I think sometimes people don't connect change with transformation because in order to make the change, things are going to have to transform. And I think oftentimes, when we speak with people, you know, when we are coaching people, we talk about transformation. They back up and like, what would he mean, I'm going to have transformation. It's part of the process as you talked about. You know, one of the barriers that. That we as coaches often hear from our coachees about this whole thing about transformation. The thing they're really concerned about or say they lack is confidence. how would you support someone in that? How would you help someone build confidence?

Cindy: 9:01

Yeah. Well, I think then the first thing is being able to identify what we're having to let go of. What is still there? I'll just give you an example. A lot of times if we have change, we're going to have to let go of some comforts. So with some comfort. It's going to be what discomfort. What can you control in that discomfort that you're going to experience? And can we assure you that if discomfort never becomes comfortable, that maybe you're, maybe you're still going through the change or you haven't landed on the right spot. So really it's being able to identify and claim the things that they're going to experience. You're going to have to let go of some relationships. Sometimes you're going to have to let go of maybe a, a space that you're so used to. Maybe you've been in an office and now you're moving to an office. Open area where you're going to be around people, and you won't have that privacy. There's a lot of things that they have to be able to identify to really help them go through that transition process of being able to redefine what they will start experiencing once they start letting go of what was right. Really sitting in there with them to say, all right, let's think, let's talk about the things you can control. Versus what you can't and those things that you can't, what are you willing to let go of in this moment? And once they start identifying that process, you can sort of see the shoulders go down, they'll start breathing a little bit better. And I, and I will reassure them, you know, what, between. The, the part of letting go and redefining, you're going to hit a line of resistance. And when you hit that line of resistance, but let's just go back to the very beginning. Okay. What else needs to be let go of at this moment? And what more can you control now? And just keep playing this tennis match with yourself. What are you letting go of? What are you realizing that you can control, continue to name and identify those things. And that sort of helps them build up that confidence of, I can do this. I am going to be okay. Because fear sets in sometimes anxiety, all those things that are that the drainers, I call them the light drainers. I'm like, keep the light on, keep the light on, let those drainers go. And when they arrive, do not turn your back on them. Speak to that moment. Talk to that moment. Find a resource. Give it to me. And let me, let me hold this moment for you and continue to play this back and forth game because it's important that you're healthy and well, and you want to be a part of this game. So let's make it happen. So that's, that's what we do with a confidence builder.

Debby: 11:50

Yeah, and

Cindy: 11:50

it's a great point. It's confidence. Yes. That is one of the things that sometimes we see will get moved to the backside.

Debby: 11:57

Yeah. And the whole time you're talking Cindy, the word that kept popping in my head was empowered, like feeling empowered through that transformation and that change. And I love the what's in your control and what's, I have to constantly ask myself that like, is this in your control? Is it not in your control? But the other thing, and I feel like this is because of a transformation that I've gone through the last few years in my life. I think being able to say, this is what I'm gaining, not just what I'm losing, and really focusing on, okay, yeah, some of this is hard, letting go of relationships can be hard. And this is, though, what I'm gaining on the other side of that. Yeah.

Cindy: 12:36

Yeah. Being able to identify the purpose, right? I think that's your intentions and your purpose in this process is so important as well. Really looking to those new beginnings. Can you name or can you, can you imagine what those new beginnings will look like? And I think that's a part of the transformation process, is maybe you have to become a little bit more creative and sort of a dreamer. And that's great. I mean, you, you need something to work towards. You need that purpose to drive you to drive that intentional action that you that you're really striving to do. So I would say, yes, absolutely. It is that empowerment. So whatever it is that can empower you to move through this. And and energize you, that's the that's the space that you want to sort of focus in on and not to say I'm always the glass is half full. I'm not half empty. So it's easy for me to say this. And I can say, and maybe that's why I love walking through change. It's because I've had to realize that from a very young age. Make that glass half full, because if you sit there and you're looking at it, it's half empty. How much more is that going to drain your energy and your wellbeing? So maybe even as a young child, I had to realize that glass needed to be half full. I was going to meet new friends. I could write, we had to write back then I could heart, you know, send a snail mail to my friends and just try to really look for those things that would make me feel okay. and safe because it doesn't feel safe. I mean, that's just the truth. We don't feel safe. We, we feel conflicted. We feel drained. We feel sad. And and then also at the same time I was feeling excitement because I was going to go to a new school or I was going to meet new people, or I was going to be in a new job or a new place. So there's this, there's this, it's like this, it's like you know, that push and pull, push and pull. And as long as you know, that as long as you are truthful with yourself, And you're kind to yourself and you are aware. I think that really is something that needs to be paid attention to. It's not going to always be roses, as

Kevin: 14:46

I said, here, listening to you, I was thinking about the things you were saying about walking through the transformation. And 1 of the things I was thinking is confidence. Sometimes comes after the experience, right? Before you need courage, but your confidence only comes after you've gone through the experience. And that's where you can get your confidence. if you hesitate and don't have courage, you'll never get the confidence because you'll never go through it. And I was thinking about, okay, there's some transformations I need to go through. And I'm like, well, I'm going to wait until this we're going to wait, but there's no waiting. I'm going to have to walk through the thing to actually get the confidence that I'm looking for in that situation.

Cindy: 15:29

Yeah. Kevin. Fantastic. Yes. And what is it that creates that courage for, for you? You know, when you, when you start and you're in it, you're in the middle of this or at the very beginnings what is that courage mean? What is that marker for you? How do you know you're experiencing courage and or what will it take? For you to experience courage to help you move through this process then, then probably that the courage will then create the confidence, right? I mean, that's exactly where we're, we sit in our new beginnings is when we are feeling comfortable, comfortable, confident we, we start. Feeling like, Oh, this is familiar again, or this is, this is like exciting. And so I love that you bring that up, that it does take courage. And I think you're right spot on. And maybe the courage does then ignite the confidence.

Kevin: 16:26

So, you know, one of the things that as we go through a lot's been going on in the world and not that it's never been a lot going on in the world, but a lot of people are experiencing fatigue and sometimes a word, even the word around change fatigue comes up and I know a lot of people have a lot of different changes going on in many different aspects of their lives. What advice would you give someone who's lost their motivation for transformation? They're just like, I'm. I'm tired. I'm fatigued. What would you, what advice would you give them?

Cindy: 16:57

Yeah, I would say nourish yourself. What do you need in this moment to be still and nourish yourself and to find that spark again, to find something that can help you get that purpose or commitment back. And if, and if you're fighting it, you know, check in because I've been in that space where I have learned that we're going to a certain duty station and I was, I'd been there before and I was all in my mind. I was like, oh, you know, and even though it was six years, there's a six years difference and where we were. And then, you know, six years later in our marriage and we had kids, you know it was in my mindset. And I do this thing called map your mindset, your attitude, and your perspective or your purpose or your plan. I started using that little model for myself. It's like, no, I'm going to map this out because I can make it harder than what it needs to be at times I'm human and I get discouraged. And there's days where, you know, you just don't want to crawl out of bed. It is heavy. And at the same time, it's okay. It's okay to feel like that. That if you didn't have those moments of life, I would question that. And this is where my faith would, would nourish me. When I didn't have answers for myself, I turned to the wisdom that I knew, which was my faith and my family and those that I trusted and was like, you know, I feel drained. How are you guys experiencing me? You know, and I made sure to nourish myself in those moments and find those people that can reignite you, but hear you hear you and that you trust. With your, with your secrets because it's, you, you have to be vulnerable to be able to declare I'm exhausted. I'm done. I'm tired. I thought I could do this and I'm right in the middle of it. And now I'm going, what did I do? Yeah, I mean, when, if you've not experienced that, talk to somebody who has. And, and to understand that process because somewhere, somewhere around you, someone has experienced that. And how cool is that to be able to understand that sometimes life stinks and it gets really hard and it's to not be judged and have those moments.

JoAnn: 19:27

You just said something that triggered someone that I respect very much, especially in my younger days. And I was trying to figure out where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be doing, and, and complaining because I wanted life to be easier. And this person said, if you're going down a road, if you're, if your journey is easy, you probably are on the wrong road. Our journeys are not easy. They are, they are, they are tough. And just as you and Kevin both have been. pointed out if you to build confidence, you got to have courage to do so. And for you to grow, there's going to have to be, what's, what's the reason to grow if everything's going our way, right? Or we think it's going our way. So those barriers and those hard times are a part of that journey. So it's a good reminder for me.

Cindy: 20:21

Yes. Yes. Change is always happening, right? It's always happening. Even though we may consciously see it or unconsciously just walk through it, right? Living or being alive versus living. I also tell my kids, you know, this is a point in my life where I realized at some points of my life, I was just alive and really not living. And it's. It's been great to raise two young children into adults young adults to say, you know, just that I, I, I said, you know, when I look back at my, my journey of career and being a mom, I said, I don't know if life was ever meant to be easy because my success that I have experienced has come through hard work and dedication. And so I'm like, so when you have those moments of hard work and dedication, be proud of what you've done. And look at how far you've come and look at what you're learning and, and be okay with that. If it's easy, question that I've come through those times every once in a while, but far few and in between comfortable, maybe more than easy. But anyway, you're right. I mean, It success comes with with hard work and dedication. So yeah, great point. Great point.

JoAnn: 21:43

I like the fact that we're talking about all these barriers and the things that get in our way. And I, I am one thing I've gotten really good at during my time on here on earth is to have. Really good excuses for what I don't, there's always something else. Well, when the kids are in school, when those kids get out of school, when they get out of college, or if this happens or that happens, and, you know, I look back on my life sometimes. And I certainly look at some of my clients who you know, just have not made that transformation. What happens if we don't choose to transform because that, too is part of the journey, that ability to transform what happens if we don't. Yeah you

Cindy: 22:31

know, I think it's really up to the eye of the beholder. You know, I often wonder if someone is not willing to go through that process, are they taking care of themselves? Are they living their best life? Are they living with their core values? I would definitely evaluate that if they aren't willing, right, to go through that process. Are they the right fit for, for that moment? That they're living and that they've created or someone else has created. I would always go back to the places, reevaluate at all times, be willing to reevaluate for yourself. If you feel like you're stuck or you feel like you don't want to go down that path, listen to yourself, listen, you know, listen to your gut, experience the emotions that you're going through, pay attention to yourself, pay attention to things around you. And oftentimes we are. Not thought of being the expert of ourselves, and yet I think we are. I really, truly think we are sometimes we need someone to ask us to get in those real, real critical thinking spaces to develop our own self awareness. And if we're willing to take that risk and be vulnerable, I think it's very wise. I wish I had those tactics when I was younger and why did it take me into my 40s to figure this out? And yet I'm, I'm, I'm working on it with my own kids. I mean, I started my oldest was in middle school when I became a coach. And I said, what if I didn't know it was so, it was so freeing to, for me to stretch him out of his comfort zone to go, you know, you're going through a lot right now. Your dad's in Kuwait. We've moved to a new house. You're trying to meet new friends. I don't know what it's like to be a 13 year old young boy, and I don't need to know what I do need is to hear from you what it's like. So that I can understand and I can be here to listen and find resources where I, it goes beyond my control and what I can do for you. So where there's a will, you can find a way, but and. What is your willingness point?

Kevin: 24:55

Where were you when I was

JoAnn: 24:55

13?

Cindy: 25:00

Well, you know, my mom, I tell you what, my mom was really shocked about how I navigated coaching and how I became, how I started parenting my kids. It was much different than her. She was a teacher. And yet, you know, we had many conversations about that. She goes, you know, a lot of times I did feel like I had to give you all advice constantly and it was draining. And I said, you know, that's really good information, mom, because what I, how I'm parenting them now is if it's life or death, I'm here. If it's not, I'm going to go, Hmm, what are you experiencing? Tell me about that. You know, I sit in that coach seat. And sometimes they'll say, mom, are you coaching me? And then I'll stop. I got to put on my parent hat. Okay. You got me. I surrender. You know, I don't need you to coach me right now. I'm like, I can't ever coach you. I'm your mom. So anyway, and it is different when we go, I don't know, even down to people, the colleagues that I work with. I love saying, you know, I don't know, even though I may, or I may have a gut sense. I'm like, I want to build understanding here. And the only way I can do that is if I can sit back for a moment and hear someone else. I

Kevin: 26:17

mean, I love what you're saying. I have a friend and grub. She says the learning is in the struggle. There we go. That's what it

Cindy: 26:29

is. We need to put that on Kevin's somewhere and I need to play that my kids ear every single day, especially the 1 that's in college right now. Yes, yes. Definitely. I love that. Love that.

Kevin: 26:42

Yeah. You know, as leaders, we have the opportunity to positively impact people and it goes along with what we're talking about here. How can we support others with transformation?

Cindy: 26:53

The biggest hurdle for a leader is to slow down and listen out of all the years that I've coached through change management. A lot of times when change happens, we want to sit in reaction. There are things that we need to react to. That and as long as we're aligning to our core values of the business and people, I think that is okay. And when change happens, people want to be a part of it and they want to be heard. They want to find themselves in it. Not standing on the outside looking in they want to be a part of it. And I think that is 1 of the biggest things that I learned through cobit. And coaching and team coaching was hearing once we got behind closed doors. It's funny what we would get in surveys and then you get it behind closed doors. It's like game on right? This is totally different. I'm like, wow. Yeah. And it's like, I want to be heard. I, I want to, I want to support them. And I just don't feel like anybody would listen to me. And I'm like, we've got to stop having these silos. It's got to go. We always as human beings want to be heard. We want to feel trusted. We want to be a part of, mean, if you're waking up every day and, and saying, I'm going to go to work and make everyone miserable. That's one thing, but most of us get up and go, I'm going to work because it's supporting my family. It's putting a roof over my head. It helps me with this, that, and the other. And I think leaders. Art, especially with the technology that we have today, even can step into these moments to break down these silos. and communicate. Communication, we've always said is the key. So if it's truly the key, then what are we doing to be better? Because when we are being better, it will organically do better. So breaking down the silos and communication is key. Leaders need to be transparent with their people on how they're doing it. And the expectations. Are you all leading with your core values? Are you surrounding yourself by people that are opposite of you have different skill sets that that want to be open about what is happening within the organization? Those are the people that we want to see at the top. I tell you what these younger generations. Are going to drive us to break down these silos. They want them gone. And so we better, we've already started, right? I know that I'm coaching in organizations that are already starting to figure this out. And, and down to the point where using technology and AI and stuff to help us support these processes. And, and we, we should and need to already be doing this. If you're not, you're a little late. So break down the silos, communicate. It is key and don't wait. What are you waiting on? If you know, changes upon you, which it is automatically. If you, if you're not changing right now, you're living under a rock because there's a lot of changes happening in our nation and beyond in our world. So let's just be transparent here. Be three steps ahead, not three steps behind. I feel like our kids sometimes are even well ahead of us. And I'm like, wow, what we can learn from them. Cross industry conversations. Open up the communication and that, that is to me is. The number one thing, Kevin communication.

Debby: 30:41

I love that, Cindy. I have a quote actually taped to my desk that says change is constant. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

Cindy: 30:50

Yes, yes, yes. And I have one over here. Listen to this. Do you not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen? Keep it in the sunlight. Keep it in the sunlight. Keep it going. Yes. Keep these things rolling and never stop those things that help us evolve. As human beings feel loved, feel appreciated, feel valued, feel heard, feel that we can step in with our strengths, our culture, all of these things that make us so unique to ourselves. And that's what we bring into work. And if we can't, we're draining ourselves. So the more we can learn from one another, the more wisdom that we will continue to grow. And where are we growing? We spend most of our time at work. So what's holding us back?

JoAnn: 31:44

Some good wisdom right there. I was thinking when you and Debbie were just talking we get asked to do a lot of communication classes and, you know, and you can go in and give. All the tools, but if there's not a foundation in there, if there's not a willingness and an understanding of what communication really is. I love what George Bernard Shaw said, and I love a lot of his quotes. He says the problem with communication is the illusion that it's taken place and oftentimes as leaders. We think we just go in and we say. Did blah, blah, blah, blah. This is what we do is how we're going to do and you walk out communication is taking place. No, it hasn't. So, I'm glad that you reiterated communication is key to transformation, especially. Well, and even I was going to say in organizations, but it's, it's important, even in families, if we're not communicating, we're never going to get to that transformation place.

Cindy: 32:43

That's

JoAnn: 32:43

a good words.

Cindy: 32:45

Yeah. Yeah. I could not agree with you more. Joanne that, you know, and we, like I said, you know, I mean, down to my family, like, we have text, right? We have different ways that we can keep each other updated and, and if organizations are falling behind on things that can really bring them up to speed on communication they need to do better. They need to figure things out and I will say, as you all know, you know, coaching is 1 of those things that if we use it in more strategic way, or we can roll up non attributable information to support leaders on making decisions in a timely manner. I think we need to, we need to do that. I know my company leads is working on technology that we can do this for organizations. And we have put a lot of thought behind this because we are human drivers. I mean, we drive the human side of business as coaches. So we've put a lot of thought to this because how can we make it more efficient and effective? Because a lot of times what happens is a leader gives out communication and it's already, you know, old. It's old news. This is a great way to utilize coaching and that, and that in that manner, as long as we become a trusted partner in that process, we can do a lot of things to support communication and awareness with organizations and leaders. So, just another thing that we can do as far as elevating the coaching industry and supporting that process of communication and making it stronger. And there's so many ways now beyond what was and I would say for us, it's the use of technology as well. Your input is only as, as your output is only as good as your input. So using coaching to leverage things like AI and data and metrics is brilliant. And I can talk about that for days.

Debby: 34:37

Yeah. I was going to say, this conversation could go on all night. And I love, I feel like we have gone to a lot of different places. Topics, which tells you, right, how this vast transformation can be in all the different ways that you can transform yourself and transform others. So Cindy, before we let you go today, we do have three questions that we like to ask all of our guests. I want to make sure we ask those to you as well. So what is a book that you believe a leader coach should read?

Cindy: 35:07

Mm, lady with questions. It is one of my favorites. You don't even have to read it front to back. I always tell them, look at the, look at the index and just go, what's, what's striking with me today. And open ended questions. It has such great insight to how open ended questions can transform a conversation and a relationship. So that is one of my go tos.

Debby: 35:34

Okay. Yeah. So what question have you been asked that maybe gave you pause or made you think a little deeper or differently?

Cindy: 35:42

Yeah. Cindy, how, describe for me how people experience you. Wow. That's hard. And I'm like, and, and at the beginning it was, I don't know, because how often do we ask for feedback to feed our minds forward and our hearts forward. And so I'm, I'm very mindful of that now as a leader myself. and a mom and a sister and a daughter and a friend. So I think that is one of the questions that I'll always. hold dear to me and be a reminder of my own consciousness, self awareness.

Debby: 36:22

Wow. Okay. I'm gonna write that one down. So besides transformation, the word that we talked about tonight, Cindy, what is your word on coaching?

Cindy: 36:31

Willingness. Are you willing? Are you willing to be vulnerable? Are you willing to stretch yourself? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to learn more about yourself? Are you willing to know that you may not have all the answers? Are you willing to step out of the box? Are you willing to listen to others? Are you willing to sit in silence? Are you willing to just reflect and echo? Are you willing to speak your truth so well? For we need to

Debby: 37:04

write a chapter. Just unwilling to have it

Cindy: 37:06

Yeah, it's, it's gonna be in my book. It really is I've learned a lot about the willingness I was an athlete. And I'm just reflecting on being an athlete very much. So bringing your a game as a leader. In fact and even I, I was, I coached a softball team at my younger age and it's like, it takes willingness. Are you willing to get up, be thankful for your day that you can even breathe again and that the, that you have life on this earth and what are you willing to do for yourself and for others? And if that willingness is there, that says a lot about a human and where they are in life. And if there's not that I encourage people to find a resource and to talk about that and not feel ashamed. Because out there, there are great listeners that will not judge that will not make you feel shamed, but we'll take you where you are and meet you where you are. And that is one of the things I love about being a coach is meeting people where they are without judgment. And it's a beautiful gift that someone gave me and I enjoy giving it to others.

Debby: 38:24

think that's a great place to end, right? And so leaders, this is why we encourage leaders to coach the impact that you can have you. You heard that, that passion and that impact that Cindy was talking about. So Cindy, Kevin, and Joanne, it has been a pleasure. I'm always sad when our conversations end. And I want to thank our audience for listening. You can check out more of our Word on Coaching podcast. This is season seven, so there's lots of episodes out there that you can go back and listen to. You can connect with us on our Coaches3 Facebook page. And of course, as Cindy has shared, our book, The Word on Coaching, is available. We always encourage you to buy copies for yourself, but also buy copies to give away. It's a great book to share with others. So Cindy, thank you again so much for spending time with us tonight. It's been a a great, Opportunity to pick your brain and hear a lot more about this transformation and in your perspective on it. So we appreciate it.

Cindy: 39:23

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity. I appreciate it. And it's so nice meeting all of you and not meeting you again. I know you, but Kevin, so much.

Kevin: 39:37

My pleasure speaking with you today.

Debby: 39:39

Yes. All right. And so until next time, that is the word on Coaching.