Season 8 Episode 2: Reflection - Leadership Reflections

There is power in reflection.

 
In this episode, we have a thought-provoking conversation with Lissa Schweitzer. 

Lissa worked at a Fortune 50 organization for 37 years. That's right, I said 37.  What we love about Lissa's story is that she started at an entry-level role with that organization and worked her way up.

In this episode, Lissa shares her wisdom gained over a long career of self-development and hard work. She shares her insights on many things, from accepting challenges to leading others. 

Tune in for some encouraging advice and perspective from a continuously developing leader. 

 
Books Recommended in this episode: 
 

 (The Last Lecture) [By: Pausch, Randy] [Apr, 2008]: Randy Pausch: 8601415864168: Amazon.com: Books

Check out our best-selling book The Word on Coaching.  Buy a copy for yourself and copies to share with others.
Amazon.com: The Word on Coaching: 9781737643807: Neely, Debby, Auger, Joann, Fuselier, Kevin: Books

Check out our  quick guide about powerful questions: "Embrace the Power of Questions!"   A Quick Reference Guide to Getting the Answers You Need. 

Transcript

Debby 0:00

hi, everybody. Welcome to the Word on Coaching podcast. I am Debbie. I'm here with Joanne. Hey, Joanne.

Jo Ann 0:07

Hello to everyone

Debby 0:10

So The Word on Coaching podcast by Coaches 3 is for leaders, and that's whether you have the formal title or not, because we know a lot of you are out there leading without that formal title. Now, we focus on one word that relates to leadership and coaching, and we know leadership is hard. So we, along with our guests, give you tips, information, a fresh perspective, and always a lot of support. We've got your back, leaders. So today we are really excited to welcome our friend, Lisa Schweitzer. So let me tell you a little bit about Lisa. Lisa worked at a Fortune 50 organization for 37 years. That's right, I said 37. Three seven, people. That's a long time. And she's gonna give us more details about that as we go through. But what I love about Lisa's story is that she started at an entry-level role with that organization and worked her way up. And when she left, she was the leader of hundreds of people, and I know, Lisa, you said that would fluctuate, but it was still in the hundreds, right? So that's very impressive. And she did all of that while being a wife and a mom and going to school. And another important thing I didn't wanna leave out, Lisa, 'cause I know your friends would not be happy with me, is that Lisa's also a California girl. So even though we have her out here on the East Coast now she is still a true blue California girl. Lisa, what else would you like our audience to know about you?

Lisa 1:40

Oh, thank you, Debbie. And thank you, Joanne, both, for inviting me. I'm so honored. Yeah, I'm a California girl. Spent more than half of my life in California until I came to Maryland for a promotional opportunity. Once, you know, always a Ca- California girl. Once a California girl, always. 30. Yeah, 37 years, that's a long time. It was great making a career at this company, because the mission was to help people. So it really was a great company and having the opportunity as a leader to help people achieve their goals, it was rewarding and I really enjoyed it. I'm now retired, as you said. And I have to say, I enjoy retirement even more. It gives you time. It's precious time to spend with my family and my friends especially my husband, Steve, and my two kids, Shauna and Shane, and of course my three exceptional grandchildren- Gabrielle, Davison, and Genevieve. So during retirement, I also had some time to serve on the board of directors of a very special nonprofit organization. And enjoyed that thoroughly.

Debby 2:50

We love that you got to continue to share your gifts and talents, Lisa. Now, when.. Lisa alluded to this, but when I contacted her and asked if she'd like to be a guest on this podcast, her response to me was you do know I'm retired, right?" And I was like, "Yes, I do." And Lisa is one of those examples of leadership being who you are, not necessarily what you do. And so I was really curious to hear from her what were her thoughts and insights after she's been away from that formal leadership role and out of the corporate world for a while. So for today's episode, the word that we've selected is reflection. Before we hear more about your story, Lisa, tell us a little bit about that word and us picking that word.

Lisa 3:40

I, that word, as it turns out, was a gift for me. Thank you. Because it allowed me the opportunity to reminisce and remember what and who m- were important to me. So reflecting on my time in leadership, that reflection from that standpoint it was awesome. Looking at my time in leadership, but also my entire journey throughout my career. I did question it. On the retirement thing. Because, a lot has changed in the past eight years, but I'm thinking that maybe some of the leadership principles they may have stayed the same. So hopefully they're still relevant. But that's why I questioned it. The timing was actually good for me from another standpoint. I'd recently attended this company's national convention as a guest of my daughter, who is now there in leadership. And while there, I was able to reconnect with several people I worked with along the way, and I'm telling you, it was a proud parent type moment, not just for my daughter and her leadership, but to talk to these people that I haven't seen for a while, and to see where they're at now executive or upper management. And I saw their potential early on, and to see them and what they have achieved, I am so proud of them. So it's been a true gift, and the timing is great. But I have to mention the other things about the word reflection. When you start really thinking about that word, there are other meanings that I really love. Like- your reflection in a mirror. Look at yourself, look within. If it is to be, it's up to me. But also- mirroring or modeling, like what you model comes back to you. This word was perfect. So thank you. I... It was the best word that you could have chosen for me. Absolutely.

Debby 5:50

I love that. Sometimes it's just the right moment, right? The right thing- Yeah at the right moment, so-

Lisa 5:54

Absolutely, yeah

Debby 5:56

glad we, Coaches 3 got to be part of that with you. So as Lisa, I mentioned your leadership story, and it's really one of determination, resilience how others can inspire us and as you mentioned, how we also can inspire other people. Will you I've heard your story and Joanne's heard your story. Will you share a little bit more with our audience about your leadership journey?

Lisa 6:20

Yes. I'd love to. 'Cause to understand my leadership priorities and my why, it helps to know my story. 'Cause like you said, I took the long road to leadership. I started in my early 20s with a high school education, but I chose this company specifically because of their promote from within philosophy. I just knew if I could get my foot in the door, I could prove myself and show them what I could do. I had a pretty good job but I wanted a career, and I just didn't see future, the future where I was. I wanted a career. So to get my foot in the door, I applied for any position available. It was an entry-level position. It was less pay and a longer commute. People were shrugging their shoulders like, "Whatever." But I believed because there was a future there, I was fortunate to be selected for a typist position, especially since I couldn't type. And I actually failed the typing test two times. Two times. After the first one, I'm like, "I'm just nervous. I can do this." Let me try again. Can I try again?" She says, "Okay." And then I failed again. She happened to like that determination and the desire. So she hired me anyway, and man, I was in. I was so happy, and I was gonna show them that they made the right decision. But my goal was not to be a typist. My goal was to progress to a professional level position. I worked my way around some various support positions and I became the secretary to a superintendent. His name is John. He knew my goals. He got to know me. He knew my goals. He saw that ambition, so he would challenge me. He stretched me beyond the typical scope of a secretary duties just to see what I was capable of and to see my potential. And despite the fact I did not have a college degree he believed in me and put his reputation on the line to back me when a job did come up, and I was selected for that professional level position. Goal achieved. Thank you, John. And I was determined to succeed. I was determined 'cause this was..., i'd been working for this and, but he reached out and helped me, so I was determined to succeed for me because, like you said, I have determination. But I also wanted to do it for John, to just prove him right, but I also felt a lot of pressure. I felt like I needed to succeed for every other support person out there who didn't have a degree but wanted to make that big step. So the role was a great fit for me because I was helping people. That was, to me, it had purpose. I was helping people. But in no time, wanted to be a supervisor. This time it wasn't gonna go around the obstacle. I couldn't get there without the degree, so I completed the degree while working full time with two kids at home. And during my final semester, with the full support of my then current supervisor, Ron, I was selected for the management position.

Debby 9:48

Yeah.

Lisa 9:49

16 years. Man. I worked hard to get there, and I was filled with gratitude for the support of both of these two supervisors, and I felt like they not only changed the path of my career, they changed my life. They really did, and I thank them both. Both. But I know that I could never repay them, so I paid it forward, and what really shaped my leadership experience.

Debby 10:19

Wow. That's quite a story there.

Lisa 10:21

That's a great story. 16 years.

Debby 10:23

Yeah.

Lisa 10:23

16 years. That is

Debby 10:24

incredible.

Lisa 10:26

And sometimes you need that helping hand up, so I'm so appreciative.

Debby 10:29

I think sometimes it's the helping hand and, thank goodness we have people like that out there. And one of the things I wrote down that caught my attention is you also said they knew your goals. Yeah. They weren't trying to read your mind. They were like, "Okay, let me help her get there," right?

Lisa 10:43

Exactly.

Jo Ann 10:44

What a gift that was. So I'm wondering, what a gift it was that people saw and believed in you. They believed in your values. They saw you live your values, that you had all this determination. To have people see that and believe in you and want the best for you, how did that then impact how you led as a leader?

Lisa 11:08

Yeah I brought that history with me to the role of leadership. That was the, what was modeled to me of good leadership. So I brought that with me, and those experiences shaped my values, my leadership style, and my priorities. So as a supervisor, and then later as a second and third level leadership, the foundation of my priorities always centered on our people. Mostly they were employee engagement, number one. I was a broken record on that one. We need to engage our employees, but also back, like on my story, people development. Help all people learn and grow. All people. And help them be the best they can be, and help them to achieve their goals. Teamwork is always another... It's a people goal, and teamwork, 'cause we're better together. And if you get engaged people working together, that creates synergy. But underlying all of that for me, and this is maybe more came from my family, but integrity. Always integrity and doing what's right. As a leader, I'm responsible for, the big picture. I've got to create a vision. I have to, develop a strategy and set goals, but I don't do that by myself. Strategy requires execution. And that requires people, and it takes a team of engaged associates working together, doing what's right, to achieve our collective goals. So my department, the focus is always on our people, 'cause they're the ones who brought it every day. They're the face of the company to the customer. My personal attention, a lot of that, was on our first line leaders, because they're the face of the company to the associates. They had the most influence of anyone on our people. And my leadership team, they knew my expectations. I had a very consistent and deliberate message sharing my expectations around environment, engagement, coaching, and development. But how I showed up personally and how it influenced me personally is that I would be personally involved to get to know all of our people, get to know our people at all levels, and caring about them as individuals, and giving them the opportunities to learn and grow and, paying it forward and helping them achieve their goals.

Jo Ann 13:46

One word that I hear, that I heard you say that is so important is consistency. You were consistent. Nothing is, to me, greater than if you consistently show up a certain way, then I know what to expect. I'm not trying to guess. And it sounds like you were very consistent in your integrity, in, in your value system, and caring about people. It reminds me of a quick story when I was working for a Fortune 50 company as well in the leadership development, and we were doing a leadership class and we took a break, and I was walking down the hall and a couple of folks were saying, "Oh, my boss is in your class today." I said, "Oh, really?" I said thanks for letting me know." "Yeah, he came out yesterday and did X, Y, Z, but we know he'll never be consistent. So we'll just hold our breath until he gets through with this class." To me, that was such an indictment. It really.... They don't know, but it really highlighted to me, and it changed even the way I presented the class the rest of the afternoon and the importance. Because then people lose respect for you. And I know for a fact people really respected you, Lisa.

Lisa 15:08

Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Consistency is so important, I totally agree. Yeah, they have to be able to trust you, and if you change they're not gonna get that. So good point.

Debby 15:19

Lisa, tell us a little bit, 'cause I'm hearing words like engagement, motivation, inspiration, and I would hazard to say if I asked people who interacted with you what your brand was, those would be words that would be shared about you. So for a new leader out there, someone who's just starting, they're listening to you, and they're saying, "This all sounds great, but how do I actually do that? How do engage people and create this type of environment that you're talking about?"

Lisa 15:48

Yeah, there's a lot. Actually, there's a lot. I first wanna make the distinction between employee satisfaction and employee engagement in case people don't know the differ- understand the difference. And, of course, we want satisfied employees. They come to work for a paycheck, they go home, they're satisfied. What we want is for them to be engaged. Engaged employees feel a connection to the work and to the company and their goals. They're in- invested, so they know what needs to be done. If you help them see it, they know what needs to be done, and they'll put forth their discretionary efforts to achieve the desired results. Whether you're looking or not they're invested. So there's a lot of things you can do, and I'll try to keep it a little brief. But first, know them as individuals. What is important to them? What are their goals? Helps you to know where they're coming from, understand them, and how to motivate them or what might demotivate them or how you can help them get there. And along those lines, and this kind of maybe goes back to my story, but look below the surface. Everyone deserves consideration. Don't count someone out because, simply because of a perceived obstacle. Obstacles can be overcome, give people a chance to earn it. When I say know them, it's all, everybody. Set clear performance goals, measure and reward. People wanna know what's expected to them, especially engaged people, and then be rewarded fairly and commensurate with their con- contributions. So that's important. Recognition is one that I enjoy doing. Because they wanna be appreciated. They'll feel valued. They are valued, so let 'em feel valued. That can come in many forms. It can be an email. It can be a card. I would include this crazy little pen with a smiley face that said- "You're awesome." I think you might have one, Debbie. And it said, "Thanks for all you do." And that may sound silly, but you'd be surprised 'cause I would explain, this is, it looks crazy so it will get noticed, and then you can then tell them what you did that was so awesome. And then that pen is a visible reminder to reinforce their awesomeness. So recognition, it is fun to give it. But development and coaching, right along your area. Give them opportunities to learn and grow. They'll be more prepared to compete for the next opportunity, and they'll be more prepared when they get there. So for their current role, for future roles, development and coaching is a big one for engagement. And this one I really tried to do because I think it's so important, is to give them a voice To create that safe, inclusive environment where they can voice their opinions and offer ideas, and that can open dialogue to help you find the best solution, and allows them to contribute. People wanna be heard. So involve them in the process. That helps, too, because then they're invested, and when you implement, they'll be your change agents, the models. Give them a responsibility. It's "Oh, that's all I want is more work." Yeah, you give them responsibility, they will rise to the occasion, and they will learn in the process. And then of course, is communication. That's huge. As a leader, be accessible and visible, not to hide behind a closed door. I know that's hard with so many remote employees, and my territory covered eight states. So you find ways, whether it's Zoom or, video, but don't just rely on cascading messages. Keep that human touch. And transparency, especially in times of change. Be upfront, let people know what's coming and when, in a positive and constructive way, to help them see the bigger vision and why. And they may not always like what you hear, but they will build trust, and that's so important to engagement. Okay, but I know she's telling me the... I know I can trust her to tell me the truth 'cause she's visible, accessible and we are able to talk about it. So I think those are all some of the really key things that we would do to try to build on that employee engagement.

Debby 20:32

That's a great list. Of course, you knew you had us at coaching and development, right?

Lisa 20:37

That shows how important it is, what you do. Yes. Absolutely.

Jo Ann 20:42

The other thing that I was so glad to hear you, and I hope others hear this too, is treat your employees as individuals. There isn't a one-size-fits-all, and oftentimes leaders are looking for that shortcut, that quick and easy, we do this one thing, everybody's gonna be happy. But people know when you care about them individually. I was so glad that you mentioned that. Yeah. Is you realize that's an individual person there. And they have their own set of values, their own set of skills and wants and desires. Yeah. Find that out and then speak to that.

Lisa 21:21

Absolutely. Yeah. What, and what's moti- gonna motivate them? How do you know- if you don't know them as a person? Because it's different for Joanne than it is for Debbie. It's different for Lisa. Absolutely,

Debby 21:32

Before we move on, Lisa one of the things that you had mentioned when we were talking previously that I found really interesting was when you were talking about this expectation that as a leader you can either be a kind leader or you can hold people accountable, and that you struggled with that, or statement. Can you talk a little bit about that for another leader out there who's maybe struggling with that same concept?

Lisa 21:59

Yeah. So my brand, you s- you've mentioned my brand. My brand was kind and caring, and creating that inclusive environment that values people, and having a passion for engaging, mentoring, and developing. And I knew I was building a brand because I did it intentionally 'cause I want them to see that I care. I want them to see me involved in development. I want them to know I value them. But my brand, it has to be managed. That's what I guess I would say. Because- All brands, not just mine, 'cause it would sound like, "Oh, you're nice." That's how does that have to be managed? No, it does, because you don't wanna be seen as one-dimensional, regardless of what your brand is, based on your dominant trait. "Oh, she is so this," or, "She is so that." And when I say I'm nice, that perception of me being nice had to be managed because I'm caring and empathetic. That could possibly be viewed as soft skills that may be not valued as much as some of the other brands. Or there may be assumptions made "Oh, y- maybe you're too nice. Maybe you can't do the hard stuff like hold people accountable." And would totally disagree Yeah because the integrity in me that we talked about, do what's right, not what's easy, it wouldn't let me do otherwise. So I would hold people accountable, and I will do it with respect and kindness. Or you can be kind and caring, and also strategic and results-oriented. And I would argue that because I'm kind and caring, people will show up for me, and that leads to stronger results. It's not either/or. So whatever your brand is, not just mine, I think whatever your brand is, you wanna make sure all the, your dimensions are visible.

Jo Ann 24:13

That's great advice. If, and you said a lot of great things. If you had to boil that down, you were talking to a new leader who's concerned about their brand or how they show up, what's one piece of advice that you would give them?

Lisa 24:28

I think, again, to be intentional about it. If you're building a brand You want to be yourself. So I would say be authentic. You may need development too. You may need to talk to Joanne and Debbie to get some coaching for self-awareness, really exploring what is important to you and why, and how do you wanna be seen and remembered. Self-assessments. What are your strengths? I found the Strength Finders program to be so valuable. My signature strengths are woven throughout my brand and my legacy. I said I brought my history with me, and it shaped my values and my brand. Not everybody has that kind of a story, so you really need to u- get some coaching and figure out what it is that it's authentic to you. What are you good at? What are your strengths? That's what's gonna make you excel, and then build your brand around that

Jo Ann 25:35

And one last question because we talk a lot about legacy branding. Was that a conscious thought while you were in a leadership position? Were you thinking about your legacy? Were you thinking about your branding?

Lisa 25:50

I was thinking about my branding just in order to make sure, one, that people could see that part of it that I wanted them to see. And I was- legacy, I think it just goes back to wanting to pay it forward. 'Cause it's if you treat your peop- you invest in your people and you help them achieve your goal, you're building a legacy through them. I didn't think about the legacy part as much, but I did think about brand as in wanting people to see that I cared and things like that. Another part of my brand I didn't talk about was attitude. I think attitude is so important, and so as a leader to, consider that because especially during times of change, and I don't mean positivity as in Pollyanna. I'm thinking positivity in terms of creating optimism, and talking a healthy balance between optimism and realism. It's a credible, realistic approach with a can-do attitude that instills confidence. I don't think anybody benefits from negativity or pessimism in a leader. So that part of my brand was not as intentional, except that's who I am, and I wanted to put that forward. The only part that's really intentional is in dealing with the people so that they know how important they are to me, and so it built a brand in the process of that

Jo Ann 27:33

Thanks

Debby 27:34

One thing that I know comes up a lot with the leaders that Joanne and I work with is they will talk about what is success for them, and sometimes the struggle there is someone else is telling them, "This is what success is for you." And it may not align for them. It may or may not, right? So sometimes they struggle with that, and so I know we do a lot of encouraging them to create their own definition for success as a whole person, not just, at work, but for you as a whole person, what is your definition for success. Can you talk a little bit about how you define your success? What was your definition for yourself, and what might be helpful for, again, leader- other leaders who are in the mix right now to keep in mind that they might benefit from, your reflection and being able to look back?

Lisa 28:23

Of course everybody will have their own scorecards and results that define and measure your success as defined of your department. So you know, it was more than just me, of the department. It has to align with your leader's goals and strategy, and I would do my best to exceed the expectations of my department in contributing to the overall goal. And as a peer, my values of teamwork and integrity apply to the peer group as well. For my position, It would be to have my department excel in all those things that are being measured. Now, personally, I will not discount that, 'cause I worked really hard to make sure we as a department really contributed at a high level. I am saying that is very important to me, absolutely. But personally, there were certain metrics that were more important to me, like our employee engagement score. 'Cause that's the things that is so important to me, and I really pay attention on how are we doing. And ours was always very high. Even through significant change. So to me, that was a crucial indicator of success for me. But when I look back in reflection on my career and my own personal success, yeah, it's about how we contributed to the success of the company, but personally, I look more at the success of how I showed up every day for the people I lead. Example, on retirement, I got a lot of cards and emails congratulating me. It meant a lot to me, and we all do. I don't think one, one of them in their kind words said, "You hit it out of the park on that goal." I don't think there was a single one. No, it was about being caring or taking a personal interest, helping them, making an impact on them as a person. That's success as I define it. So in defining your own success, there are different aspects of your career that you need to be successful in. And so there's two, there's more than one side of it. I would say just be true to yourself and what really is in your heart, and put that, at least include that in your definition of success.

Jo Ann 30:49

At the beginning of the program we talked about your word reflection, and you mentioned that it was a gift to you. If you were talking to another leader, how would you describe or talk to them about the power of reflection, or is there power in reflection? Can you speak to that?

Lisa 31:13

Reflection is powerful. That's why we debrief our learning experiences, right? So that we can look back and see what... power of reflection lets you see things more clearly in hindsight. What was truly important along the way, you make the best decisions you can with the information at hand, but you don't know what the future holds. So in reflection, you can look back and debrief situations and learn from them. Sometimes it might give you insight on what to do differently or consider next time around. Other times, it may validate your original decision. Here's an example and I would say be careful with can't because when I started my degree program way back when, I tried to get other people on board and they would say, "Are you sure you can? With a family at home?" And it kinda made me question my decision a little bit. My highest priority in life was my family, and I think a lot of women, especially in the '90s- but a lot of women felt that pull between home or work. But I didn't, it didn't stop me and I thought, "I can. Yes, I can." So it didn't stop me. Now my kids, my daughter went on to get a doctorate in business administration leadership and my son has a PhD- as a professor of management and organizational development. In reflection and with the benefit of hindsight, they validated my decision to go back to school to remove that obstacle. So reflection in terms of modeling, I like to think I modeled the value of education, but I think I also showed my kids that, yes, you can do both. You can value your family and achieve personal goals. So in hindsight, what I was most worried about, what about my kids? It turned out to be a good thing, and my daughter has modeled the same thing with her kids. I would say same, but she got a doctorate while working with three kids. So not the same. But now her daughter, this is funny I think, her daughter is nine, and she published a book on Amazon this year. And it's Gymnastics Meets Journal and Activity Book, a Genevieve Krivoy design. It has- goal setting. It has her own motivational quotes and activities to track progress, all to help other kids achieve their gymnastics goals. So Genevieve is a great example of the power of modeling. In hindsight, I question that decision. And now, or in foresight, I questioned it 'cause I didn't know what the future held. But the power of reflection, of looking back and saying, "No, I would do it differently," or, I did the right thing." And the, in terms of role modeling, speaking of role modeling, on pers- persistence and overcoming obstacles, that was definitely modeled by my dad. We all learn, from leaders before us or family members before us. But you learn when you look back in that reflection, and then debrief, and then take your learnings from that. Good, good question. I like that.

Debby 34:41

Shout out to dad. Yeah.

Lisa 34:44

I know.. I could write a book on him, but he already did. And he's not one. He's still writing books, he's written over 40. So he- Wow. Hard work. He- Wow. Yeah. He-

Debby 34:54

Yeah.

Lisa 34:55

Yep, he is hard work, definitely.

Debby 34:58

That's a great example, real-life example of it. And I have to say the, some of the most successful leaders that I partner with intentionally work reflection into their schedule somehow. That is a common practice that I would say is what I tell people all the time is that, you do this and it could really help you. It's tried and true, right?

Lisa 35:20

Absolutely. What'd you do? Okay, let's debrief it. Let's learn.

Debby 35:24

Yep. So Lisa, we have enjoyed having you on so much. See, I knew this would be gold, right? Just to- Thank you have you reflect and think back on your official time as a leader. But before we let you go, we do have three questions that we like to ask all of our guests. You get to have me ask you those questions. So the first one, Lisa, is what is a book that you believe a leader coach should read?

Lisa 35:49

When I was doing all my l- reflection, there was obviously one book that stood out to me, and it was a book... I'll try to make it brief, but I would offer to buy all my leaders books, and I would pick a book, and then later hold dialogue sessions to debrief and learn- but discuss the lessons learned and how they apply to the company and our lives. It was totally optional. They don't have to do it. It was just part of an investment in their development. I was always surprised at the level of participation. I loved it. Loved it. With reflection as our word, the book that obviously stood out was called The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, and Randy participated in the last lecture at Carnegie Mellon for professors to offer reflections on their personal- and professional journeys. What wisdom would they share if it was their last lecture? And Randy didn't have to imagine it, if you know the story. He was told just just told that his cancer treatments weren't working and he just had months to live. Sounds depressing, and I told him, "Sounds depressing, but it's not. It's uplifting and inspirational." And his lecture, you can see it online through Carnegie Mellon. It's called Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams. And after I read the book, I found myself quoting Randy all the time. Which is why I offered it to the group. But of course, Randy's lessons resonated with me, especially about the brick wall. So he said brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. So for me, my 16 years was spent going around or removing brick walls. But in reflection That brick wall made me better because in my mind I had to be the best to work hard to compensate for that lack of a degree. And overcoming that obstacle has set me on a path of continuous learning and I've since got a master's and four industry designations. But it also made me appreciate my opportunities because you value what you work hard for. So Randy would say things like, "Find a way around your brick walls. Have something to bring to the table." His word, "Be ridiculously persistent. Never give up. Take a boost when you need it. Work for it. What are you willing to do to get it?" Because just like my parents told me, you can do anything you set your mind to. And then Randy also said about attitude which also spoke to me, "Are you a Tigger or an Eeyore?" I just can't see the upside of becoming an Eeyore. So yeah, that book, I still think of his lessons and quote him all the time. So that one with the reflection was the one that just obviously came to mind.

Debby 38:51

Yeah. Great. Yeah. Joanne and I actually used that book for a program once.

Lisa 38:56

Oh, good.

Debby 38:58

Yeah. And I'd, I'll share one of my favorite things is he talks about making sure you make time for fun, which I love. It's never- Yeah. Never- yeah

Lisa 39:04

see, it wasn't depressing. It was i- it was funny. Yeah. And yeah it's really good. Yeah, it's

Debby 39:09

a really good book. But- Yeah

Lisa 39:10

I'd recommend anyone, at least watch the video. That would... It's still out there.

Debby 39:15

Lisa, what question have you been asked that gave you pause, so it made you maybe think a little deeper or maybe look at something a little differently?

Lisa 39:24

This is maybe a little different, but I recently had a conversation with my brother and my dad. And my brother asked what I thought was a deep question, "Do you have people who've significantly impacted your life? And do they know?" And do they know how much you appreciated it? And I'm sure he had things that made him wonder, so he asked me and my dad, and I thought about it a minute, and I thought of my supervisor, John. So my answer was an unequivocal yes, because it reminded me of an email exchange I had with John 23 years- after I was selected for that professional position. 'Cause over all those years, we had maintained a relationship and would talk through things. The particular email I'm talking about's three pages long, about my daughter's wedding- and my new house and things like that. Yeah. But one excerpt I wanna read to you. I won't read the whole thing, he said, "I once knew a young girl who started working out of high school with no formal education. Started in clerical positions and could easily have finished there, but she was not ready to accept all her potential being spent typing and answering phones. And then he went on to recap my journey and say some very complimentary things. I won't read those. But I replied back to John, and I said, "Back to that young girl with the big dreams. There was a superintendent who played a big part in that journey and helped her to achieve her dreams. He believed in her even though she didn't have that formal education, and gave her the chance to prove herself." Oh. "That, that was a defining moment along her path and changed the course of her career. He supported her then and throughout her many years with the company. She has been forever grateful to have such a mentor and a friend." Two years later, John died. Oh. And about 10 years after he died, 10 years, a printed copy of that email just showed up one day in my mailbox at home. It was sent to me by John's wife. She found it in a box with his papers, his important papers, and she said, "I thought it would bring a smile to you." It sure did. So how my brother's question made me think differently, it's perspective. I... Rereading that email, so I thought about it, and I went back and pulled that email and reread it- From his point of view, from John's point of view, he printed it and saved it. And that shows me how much it meant to him to make a difference to me. And that made me so happy to think of that. And like Randy Pausch says, "The only thing better than achieving your childhood goal, dreams, is enabling the dreams of others." And so that question helped me relive this and see it from John's point of view, and it just made my day. It was beautiful.

Debby 42:45

Yeah. Yeah. That's a great question for us all to think about, right? Not only do we have those people, but are we telling them? Yeah.

Lisa 42:51

Awesome And that, I think, was his point. Yeah. Do they know? Yeah. And I, and knowing that is being intentional about telling them because I am fortunate to have had this email exchange and having I know he knew, and now I know how much it meant to him. So that, that's really a beautiful thing. And so back to my brother, yeah, make sure people know. Make sure they know. Share it. 'Cause it will make a difference to them. If they made- Yeah a difference to you, make a difference to them.

Debby 43:26

Yeah. I'll tell you a quick story. A few years ago I made a decision for myself to be intentional about telling my friends more and my family that I love them, and, things that are good about them, strengths that I see in them, all that. And I, it's become such a habit that the other day when I picked up my groceries, the young grocery guy puts the groceries in the back of my car and he said, "Have a nice day, ma'am." And I said, "Thank you. Love you." And I'm sure he was like, "What?"

Lisa 43:53

Oh, I'm sure he loved it.

Debby 43:54

I meant it. Lisa, your last question. Oh, okay. We talked about reflection today as the word we all kinda picked together, but what is your word on coaching if you had to pick one word?

Lisa 44:08

Maybe because I just used the word in my, in that last example, but I think perspective. I, I think we haven't talked about it as much today, and it's so important. Get outside of yourself. Look at situations from all angles, not just your own. Especially the customer perspective, but the employee perspective because it's so crucial to communication 'cause it allows you to anticipate the reaction to your communication. You know what your intention of your message is, but that perspective allows you to see how will it be received. So looking at things from everyone's point of view. Growing up, and I can't tell you how many times my mom told me this. Don't judge another until you walk a mile in their shoes. countless times. She'd say, "There may be a reason." Or she'd say, "You don't know what that person is going through. How do you think they feel?" I'd just, "Yeah, but here's how I feel." "How do you think they feel?" At times it could get frustrating, But I, pr- bless her because she taught me perspective. You don't know what's, h- what do you think they're thinking or doing, which gave me empathy, feeling other people's feelings. And so it's, that was a gift, and both of those things have helped me to make connections with the people I lead and build those relationships, always thinking of it from what's their point of view? What, what would they be feeling right now? I would say perspective. And it always reminds me, and I might have, may have gone there with you too, but one of my favorite quotes and symbolism is from the Community Bridge in Frederick. You've probably been there so many times.

Debby 46:06

Yeah.

Lisa 46:07

That mural on the bridge of the archangel, I have quoted that thing so many times. The artist designed it so that from the ground it looks distorted, almost blurry. But it's not distorted if you look at it from the second floor window of that adjacent building, and the message is where you stand determines what you see. and sometimes in order to see things clearly, you have to change your point of view. So I thought perspective, yeah, that's one that needs to be highlighted.

Debby 46:44

All right. I love it. Now you made me wanna go visit the bridge again.

Lisa 46:47

Let's go.

Debby 46:49

Lisa and Joanne, it's been a pleasure. I swear the time just flew by. We wanna also thank our audience for listening. There's more podcasts out there, so if you wanna go back and listen to some of our previous ones, and then we've got some new ones that will be coming out. You can find The Word on Coaching podcast anywhere that you find podcasts. You can connect with us on our Facebook page and Instagram, so Coaches 3 has those. And then of course we have a book if you haven't heard. The Word on Coaching is out there and available, so buy copies for yourself, and it's a great book to share with others and discuss with others. Lisa's talked a lot about that today of, reading books and having discussions or helping people debrief, and The Word on Coaching's a great book to do that with. So again, thank everybody for their time. And until the next time, that is The Word on Coaching.

Lisa 47:41

Thank you, Debbie and Joanne. Thank you for having me.