Hope Johnson's Wisdom Dialogues
Hope Johnson's Wisdom Dialogues
Beyond the Body: Finding True Ecstasy Within | Wisdom Dialogues @ Ajijic Mexico | July 28, 2025
In this provocative and deeply spiritual exploration, Hope Johnson shatters conventional perspectives on relationships, sexuality, and pleasure. What if our sexual experiences are merely substitutes for the true ecstasy we're designed to experience within ourselves?
Hope reveals how our inner masculine and feminine energies, when properly aligned, create a sustainable joy that makes external pursuits pale in comparison. She explains that bodies can never truly join—the pleasure we think we experience is merely projected by our minds. This understanding transforms sex from a sacred act to simply another illusion in our dream state, no different in essence from eating a sandwich.
The conversation delves into how relationships often function as distractions from awakening. When we enter deep, entangled connections with expectations of fulfillment, we're setting ourselves up for inevitable suffering. Hope suggests that the "happy dream" may not include sexual relationships at all, but rather light, joyful connections without the burden of expectation.
Drawing from A Course in Miracles, Hope explains that sexual impulses are misguided miracle impulses—attempts to join what cannot join. This doesn't mean condemning sexuality, but recognizing its true purpose in our spiritual journey. When brought to the Holy Spirit, any experience becomes a means for undoing the dream rather than reinforcing it.
This wisdom challenges our core beliefs about what makes life worth living. Are we willing to question these deeply-held attachments to pleasure? Can we recognize that underneath our desires for bodily connection lies a profound yearning for the divine union that's always available within?
Visit HopeJohnson.org to engage more deeply with these teachings. Your donations support this work and are now tax-deductible through Hope's religious nonprofit status. Join the conversation about awakening from the dream and discovering the true ecstasy that lies beyond all bodily pleasures.
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Yeah, aloha, and welcome to Wisdom Dialogues with Hope Johnson coming to you live from Ajijic, mexico. Yay, it's a beautiful day. It's always a beautiful day. It's always a beautiful day when you know who's walking with you. You know we're never alone. The Spirit is always with us.
Speaker 1:The Holy Spirit is always walking in the dream, with us and ready to reinterpret everything we made. That's the beauty of it. You know, the world we made and the life we made is terrifying. It's like everything and everyone is passing, it's all passing away. Nothing here is set in eternity, it's all set on a timeline. So it's terrifying and you know, without the holy spirit it's a nightmare, with the Holy Spirit reinterpreting everything for you, bringing everything to the truth, everything is reinterpreted into eternity. So any kind of pain, any kind of sense of loss, any sense of trouble or question, a problem something you need tech support for, for instance, with the Holy Spirit's guidance, it's all brought to the truth and it's all reinterpreted as something that brings sanity to your mind.
Speaker 1:You know, the dream we made is just insane, even all of the relationships look at every relationship is only for seeing that there is no relationship except the relationship with God. So all these bodies and all these relationships. There's this hope that it'll give you something that you want, and it's set up exactly to not give you what you want. It's fucking great, they're all like that. So extending love has to do with seeing that what you made of everyone is only an illusion. Whatever you made is just an illusion. No one's showing up to give you what you want. That's an illusory dream. You know, while you think that people can satisfy you in that way, you're in suffering. It's like hope and doubt. Hope and doubt it's the wrong kind of hope, right? It's the wrong use of hope to be hoping that your relationships are going to work out Someday. Someone's going to give you something that you want. The reason they're set up to not give you what you want is because this is an illusion. Everything's passing away and it's so that you can see that you cast it outside of yourself. You cast this whole world outside of yourself. It's not meant to be pleasant for you. It's never going to be pleasant for you until you see what it's for. When you see what it's for, it's totally pleasant. When you recognize what it's for, it's totally pleasant. Then you don't go deep into the ego with people. Right, going deep with people is just like going deep into the ego.
Speaker 1:Uh, you know, the the relationships in the happy dream the relationships are are very surface in a way, in that there's no going into this, uh, this sense of neediness, this sense of attachment to, to bodies, right, there's no going into, uh, wishing that they would do something different or come around a certain way, or anything like that. That's how the time is getting collapsed. That's how it's actually getting collapsed. There's only one of us. There's only one of us. So, look, when you get attached to a person, it's like rejecting everyone else and that's basically rejecting yourself. That's basically putting your mind on notice that you're rejected now and it sets you up for trouble. That's why every single relationship, it ends up being troubling for you unless you see it, truly and truly don't mind what anyone does or how they show up.
Speaker 1:This is something that really came to my awareness last week when we were doing the acim deep dive and discovering the difference between circular miracles and the kind that actually collapsed time. And you know, I've been, I've been having my eye on a couple relationships with two men to, of course, amazing, awesome men. I mean, everyone is like that. Everyone's really me in disguise, but there is a sense that neither of them gave me what I want, neither of them was giving me what I want, and in different ways, in different ways. They were not providing in different ways, in different ways they were not providing in different ways. So it came clear to me, actually just this weekend, that it was this inner masculine energy. You know, basically there's a couple of energies going on within ourselves. Basically, there's a couple of energies going on within ourselves.
Speaker 1:This whole false universe, this whole illusion, is based on sacred geometry, basically triangles. It's basically, it's based on triangles. Maybe you've seen some sacred geometry drawings before. So there's a X axis masculine, y axis feminine, and they form a certain triangle. Right, the. The masculine is projection, it's a, it's the container. Uh, the feminine is like implosion, receptivity.
Speaker 1:So what I noticed was my masculine aspect has been hypervigilant ever since I was a child. It's been it's, it's just been, uh, I guess under, let's say, under pressure to perform, not trusting that everything is leading exactly where I want it to go, that everything is leading exactly where I want it to go. Right, Everything here is leading to perfection. It's leading to perfect love. It's just that the perfect love isn't here, it's not on the timeline, no one's going to give it to you, right? So this sense of trying to hold it all together, the inner masculine, the X axis, trying to hold everything together, it's always projecting. It's always projecting these men in my life that are just not quite it, not quite that Sarah raises her hand, she's like me too. Who else is getting that? And that's because there's a sense like I have to do it all alone. And you know, I've seen that so often. I've basically everyone definitely see it in my mom. It's like there's this, uh, this hyper vigilance, like on alert to make sure it doesn't fall apart.
Speaker 1:The first time I noticed that I was, I was working in a law firm and I was standing in line at the at the clerk's office in the court, in the courthouse, and all of a sudden there is this sense like major anxiety. And then I noticed my mind go what, what's wrong? What do I need to? What do I need to guard right now? What do I need to protect right now? What's about ready to collapse that I need to take care of? And it was like whoa, and I expressed something like that to my boss how, how, at work. I just felt on edge, like there was always something about ready to go wrong, like I had to be on it and my boss loved it. He thought that was great, he thought I was the best employee because of that, like it was totally encouraged. He's like that's why you're so good at it, that's why you're not sleeping at the wheel. I'm like, oh, this is how I'm supposed to be, that's why I make the big bucks.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, noticing in, noticing that it's coming from me, that's how I was able to finally work the miracle, the kind of miracle that collapses time, rather than just getting a little bit of relief. You know, it's the. It's normal Uh, it's natural for us to use the miracle to get relief. There's nothing wrong with it, you know, just noticing oh, okay, this is not really, this is not a reality. I can have relief now, ah, and keep on getting relief.
Speaker 1:But it was when I saw that it's my own masculine projection that's anxious, that's even making it as if these men need anything from me. You know, they both seem to seem to need something from me, right, and when I recognize they don't need anything from me, I don't have to show up. I don't have to show up for them all of a sudden. And then it's not like you know, and it may sound like oh, don't you want to show up for people? Yes, in a way that's whole, not in a way that's seeking See. So, as long as it seems like there's some kind of threat, that's the whole thing about. You know, the whole foundation of A Course in Miracles is there's no threat, is real, nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists. That's the peace of God, right?
Speaker 1:So it was my idea that somehow these guys were threatened in some way. One of them threatened in some way. One of them threatened in some way. It seemed like he needed me for his sense of peace, sense of calm. And then it occurred to me I don't need to show up for that, that's not necessary, there's no threat here.
Speaker 1:You know, I kept on showing up for this guy in a loop. It would be like this, this sense of hope that he's finally going to see. He's finally going to see that we're meant to be together and he's going to stop looping around and he needs me again. And then when I realized, oh, my goodness, he doesn't need me, it was like no, no, no need, no need for him to have any access to me. I'm not. I'm not getting the sense like I'm. I'm inspired to do that Once I recognize there's no threat. And the other one it's like I was holding his life together with the finances and all this other stuff, and it's like once I realized there's no threat, it's like I don't need to do that either and then we can just meet as two whole beings.
Speaker 1:If we do meet at all, it's not necessary. I'm getting the sense that it's not really necessary to go deep in this way. This kind of depth, this kind of ego depth where you get entangled with one another. Let's keep all of the relationships light, comical, on the surface. That's that's to me. That to me is, uh, more like the happy dream. It's not necessary that it goes forward at all. It's not necessary to get, uh, sexually entangled. That's not a necessary thing. You know, I've been, I've been writing about recently, man, I am not even sexually attracted to guys that aren't provider, providers like, want to provide. You know, I'm not sexually attracted to them. And then what I realized after that is I don't need that at all, that is not even necessary. That's one aspect of going deep that I don't need, it's not necessary at all.
Speaker 1:What was shown to me? You know and I've had my eye on this for a while, I've talked about it for a while that you know this idea that sex is even pleasurable, that is something that we've programmed ourselves with, this idea that it's pleasurable. Bodies don't really join, they don't even meet, they don't actually touch actually. So we're making up the idea that we're even having any sexual pleasure at all. We're just making that up. Nothing's happening here. So so then? So then we make it meaningful, as if now it means this or this or this or this, and then it's pain.
Speaker 1:It occurred to me the other day. I was just like walking down the street and all of a sudden the sexual fantasy comes into my mind, right, and then the next thing, you know, there's a tear in my eye. I'm like, oh, okay, it's the ego's way and making it, making it like this, uh, this pleasurable thing is desirable. But when you recognize, I've projected it. And then I was in a meditation later on I was practicing yoga, nidra, and the whole body scan part ended and I was just laying there and I noticed a pulse within right and I recognize that the sexual fantasy and even the uh, the sexual act of sex itself is actually uh, it's like a substitute for that inner pulse. That inner pulsing is the constant ecstasy. So this world is a substitute for reality, really, and so when you look deeper, that which is pulsing within is truly the ecstasy that we want, but we're projecting it outward and making a substitute as something else in the field. It's amazing how all of this stuff just leads back to what's actually true.
Speaker 1:Now, when the inner masculine and feminine are met perfectly and it makes a perfect triangle. Basically, this is an illusion based on geometry. It's triangles, it's a bunch of triangles. I think some people see that when they go on ayahuasca or something like that. Where it's? You look behind it and it's like, oh, my goodness, it's a bunch of shapes. When the inner masculine and feminine are meeting, masculine and feminine are meeting, that's where you have that ecstasy. That's what I noticed. So, as I realized that my inner masculine was hypervigilant and then it was allowed to relax, it was just allowed to relax. When it's relaxing, it's holding a perfect container for the feminine and that's where the inner lovemaking occurs. That's what that ecstasy is. So when I noticed oh, I've just been projecting that outward and as a substitute. And to project it outward as a substitute, in the first place it took a collapse of this triangle. It had to be. It had to be different, it had to be, it had to be.
Speaker 1:I don't know which way to say it, because I've never been good at geometry before, but I'm seeing it. It's like a misshapen or one way to say. It is incoherent. So it's a projection of incoherence, actually, no matter how beautiful it looks, no matter how sacred it seems. Whatever the case and you know, some of my friends tell me, some of my friends tell me you've been against sex. And I'm like, no, I'm not against sex. Like I said, opening this thing up, like I said, opening this thing up, opening up this wisdom dialogue session, the Holy Spirit uses everything as a means to awakening. So that is not the same as being against sex. That's just putting sex into the proper category.
Speaker 1:You might say, seeing it in a proper way, seeing it in a true way. It's not making it wrong, it's not saying don't do it by all means. Do it as much as you do it, bring it to the truth, don't hide it. Watch what's going on, watch how it keeps on leading to pain. Some of you guys don't believe me. You say it doesn't lead to pain. I'm having great sex, I'm having a great time and I'm saying just wait, you know how they say it's not over till the fat lady sings. You know you could go happily along this road for years and years and years. And you know you could go happily along this road for years and years and years. And you know, some of you, that's what you want to do. That's okay, there's nothing wrong with it. Have fun with it. That's what I'm saying. Have fun with it while it's presenting itself.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying is the whole purpose of everything that you seem to do in this illusion is actually for undoing the illusion. So at a point in time it's going to come to your awareness that none of it means anything, that none of it's actually doing anything. You know, I've had some funny perceptions because I've had, you know, this past week. I'm like man, I'm getting the sense like I am not even. I'm not even interested in anyone, you know, being romantically involved or having sex. I'm not feeling attracted to anyone unless they're providing and I haven't actually seen anyone actually providing either. It's just like an imaginary thing, Like, if they show up providing, then I'm going to be attracted to them. And then I realized, oh, it's my inner masculine that's not providing. That's why I feel unfulfilled in the first place.
Speaker 1:And when the when the inner masculine is providing, when it's not hyper vigilant, it's naturally providing. You could say he's naturally providing this, the only he there is yeah, okay, so Sarah's saying, Sarah's telling me, but you provide a lot for yourself. That's what she's seen on the external, that I do a really good job being really good masculine provider. So it's the hypervigilance that's making it as if this masculine has to do everything. Okay, so. So this masculine within myself is feeling taxed, it's feeling pressured. Okay, so it's, it's all it's. It's like it's feeling victimized. So that's why the projection in the field is masculine, who can't contain, they can't hold the container, they can't hold a container for the feminine image, this image, right, it's all images. When you recognize it's all just one and it's all images, then don't need an outer masculine at all. There's not, it's not necessary and that's the thing you know. Like it, like like it.
Speaker 1:It strikes me like, uh, like in in religions, in a lot of religions, like the, the people at the top of the religions, whatever, whatever you call them, I don't fucking know. They're celibate, right, but it's not. But it's, it's symbolic. It's like they're making them be celibate when they're not ready Most of the time. That's why they keep on molesting little boys. A lot of the time they're not ready for that.
Speaker 1:But the thing is, the reason that the celibacy comes about, you know, just naturally, is recognizing that there's nothing to get out of it. There's actually nothing to get out of, uh, sexual interaction. There's no such thing as sexual union. It's an outer projection of the inner masculine and feminine that's not being met. So it's a substitute, it's being projected as a substitute.
Speaker 1:Again, I'm not saying something's wrong. So when I was going through the process, this process of unfolding, you know my mind just keeps on going into different scenarios, just so I can see more. And that's the same for all minds. We're only just going into these scenarios so we could see that we actually don't want this world anymore. When we're when we're sure, when we're totally sure that we don't want this world anymore, the veil is going to be lifted, right. So it occurred to me that no way I'm not even interested in a relationship where the masculine isn't providing. So I was voicing that.
Speaker 1:So I get a couple people thinking I'm basically a prostitute now, like I've gone from someone who was against sex, you know, because before I got the sense, like, yeah, it's not really that important to me, I don't really feel like I need it, anything like that. And then all of a sudden something else shows up and it's like whoo, now, oh yeah, whoo, this is fun. And you know what the thing is. I needed to go around in it, I needed to practice it, I needed to go around in it so I could see, that's all. But a couple of my friends reflected back to me. You know, now I'm basically a prostitute.
Speaker 1:One of my friends asked me how much it's going to take. He was ready to pay Right, and uh, and I told him that isn't happening. He's like, he's like well, you know what are you saying? That there's something wrong with it. And I'm like no, I'm not saying anything's wrong with it, I'm just not called to it. I'm not called to, uh, do it with you. No amount of money is gonna make me want to. And you know, if I needed to go around like that, I would have, and I wouldn't have had a judgment about it Because, like I said earlier, the Holy Spirit uses all of our dreams to bring us to the truth.
Speaker 1:And look, this might not be very popular to you guys, I might not have a huge audience about this, it's okay, I don't mind, because my goal is not to have a huge audience. My goal is actually to lift this veil. My goal is actually to be released from dreaming once and for all. Now, if I have to go around in more sexual relationships, that's fine too. I'm not saying I'm against it. I'm saying I'm seeing that it's a substitute, I'm recognizing that it's a substitute. I'm recognizing that it's a substitute. So, in the event that I do I mean before I thought that I'm definitely going to do it again in this lifetime I'm definitely going to meet someone I'm definitely going to do it again in this lifetime. Now I'm not so sure. Now I'm not so sure because, because it comes down to is it necessary? Do I need it? Do I need to go around more? Right, and I'm telling you guys, that feels like freedom to me, just recognizing that I don't need that.
Speaker 1:Uh, you know, this is the first time in about 31 years maybe, maybe a little bit longer than that, that I've been without a sexual partner. That's a long time in the illusion of time, right? This is the first time. And you know, at first it was kind of like, ooh, this is interesting, I wonder what's going to pop up. Well, it's guy after guy after guy after guy, just like coming through. You know, my husband's watching me, um, posting about all these different interactions I'm having with different guys, and he's like wow, it's like you've had like seven different different. I'm like it's been a lot more than that.
Speaker 1:Like it's just, you know, even every time I get in, almost every time I get in an Uber, for one thing, uh, you know, and and sometimes they don't even speak English at all, we're on the, we're on the translator app and they're telling me they want to spank my ass and they're giving me, they're giving me signals, give me signals. You know, I just take it like it's fun for me, I enjoy it. I just start laughing, you know, I just really, I just start laughing. The other day, I got my ass. I got my ass burned, basically, I got this hot laser treatment to my ass and I got in an Uber and I could barely sit there. My ass is, my ass was basically bleeding Okay, the cheeks, not the inside and I'm barely sitting there in the Uber seat and the guy tells me on the translator app he's saying something in Spanish. So I get the translator app out and he tells me basically he wants to spank my ass. And he's making the sign like he wants to spank my ass and and so I tell him on the, on the translator app, you're going to have to wait a couple of weeks. And you know, I'm laughing the whole time.
Speaker 1:I just, I just like the, I just, I just like the play. I think it's pretty funny. And then he asked me if I'm afraid of him and I'm like no, I'm not afraid of you. You know, this is all the translator app, we don't speak the same language, apparently. And I'm like no, I'm not afraid of you, I see your innocence, I see, I see your gentleness. I'm like no, I'm not afraid of you, I see your innocence, I see, I see your gentleness, I'm not afraid of you at all. You know, I'm just, I'm just smiling and laughing at him. He's kind of like okay, good, you know, uh, there's nothing, uh, there's nothing dangerous. That's what I see. Like there's no threat to me, the no threat is real at all. I can just play with anything. No threat is real at all.
Speaker 1:I could just play with anything and in the event that that's necessary, that me having any kind of sexual interactions is necessary, it's fine. It's also fine if that never occurs again. It really is. It's only because it would occur, only because it's a means to awakening. And I got my eye on it. Now I could tell it's projected out in the field as a substitute, because I can experience, um, the real thing, the real union of the masculine and feminine. That's in my mind, you know, and really perceive it as a visceral sense. That's way more satisfying than the illusory thing and it doesn't need any kind of stimulation at all.
Speaker 1:This is something I glimpsed way back when I was maybe only 21 years old. It was shown to me that I don't need a partner. It's funny that it's shown to me that I don't need a partner and then, shortly after that, I've got a partner. That's pretty much like a lifetime partner, like that just shows up and it was weird, because there was a lot of what I was sensing within seemed to be occurring without in this partner. He seemed to be that energy. He seemed to be mirroring that kind of energy and that was why I was just kind of like oh okay, let's see where this goes. And where it went was to a lot of lessons, and that's really what all the relationships are for. And where it went was to a lot of lessons, and that's really what all the relationships are for To go to bring you to lessons.
Speaker 1:They're not to give you, let's say, they're not to be the happy dream for you. The relationships that you get into. They're not to be the happy dream, they're the means to knowing it, they're the means to revealing it. So the happy dream involves not these deep relationships where we have entanglements with one another, where we have expectations of one another. That's always leading to pain and you know, it seems like when we get entangled, especially through sexual interaction, we seem to automatically develop those expectations, develop those expectations. It seems to be like this, this kind of this kind of vibe, where it's like it hits you. It's somewhere, somewhere mentally, where all of a sudden now the relationship has changed. And you know, I've seen that so many times. It's like when that doesn't get involved, then the relationship can be a lot cleaner.
Speaker 1:Not always there's plenty of friendships that are delusional too, and that's where the people end up using each other to puff up their ego, to satisfy their ego. It's like, oh, I'm going deep, don't go there. No need to do that. Unless you do, then you bring the Holy Spirit with you, that's all. And you know you might ask can you just have casual sex then? Can you just casually have sex with people and then just not get attached like that? Well, I don't know, try it and see how it is. This is what I noticed from people who have casual sex. They tell me that they think about sex all the time.
Speaker 1:Now, that seems like it's benign, but it's not. It's actually something that keeps on projecting time, projecting bodies, projecting death. When your mind goes into sexual fantasy, it's going into harming itself. It seems like it's not a problem. You know, it seems like it's totally, it's totally benign. But what's going on is you're projecting a use for bodies that they're not meant to be used for. They're meant to be used for. They're meant to be used for awakening your mind, not for pleasuring yourself. It's kind of like. It's kind of like a form of masturbation, and that's not saying it's wrong.
Speaker 1:Again, what happens for me and what occurred this weekend, when I had a sense of a sexual fantasy. Oh my goodness, it just projects so strongly. It's like, oh, it feels good. And then I asked the Holy Spirit to be with me on this. Be with me, show me how to use this, show me how you would use it instead of just letting it run wild in my mind right. And a few minutes later, what was shown to me was the sorrow, how, on the other side of it, it's sorrow. And so I took that and I go whoa, do I want that ever again? Do I even want that ever again? Do I even want that ever again?
Speaker 1:And it made it look like well, what is this whole thing for If it's not leading to that, if it's not giving us that? And I'm seeing the underpinning of the ego is to project like I want this, I want this, give me this. This is what it is, this is what will make me feel complete. That's the underpinning. That's what's going on underneath all of this. It's to try to get this thing, and I've seen that since I was a child, just a little kid. I could see that it's like there's this underlying trying to get and it comes down to that and I would. I would, I would say I would say things about it. You know, I would say what no one was saying, what I could see, but no one was saying Like it's like. It's like we're all. We're all just here to use bodies. We're all just here, underneath all of these smiley, shiny, innocent looking faces, to try to use bodies to get what we want. It's funny.
Speaker 1:I just lost a lot of people who are listening on here right now. I love it. Lost a lot of people who are listening on here right now. I love it. I love it. When that happens that's happened at different points. Wherever I have a realization, that's really like showing that this dream, what this dream is I lose people, they disappear. That's good. I'm happy about that.
Speaker 1:Once again, I'm not here for popularity at all. I've seen this happen at different points in my wisdom dialogues career. I've seen it happen in person before, where it's been like 25 people in person the next week, only five show up. I go, these are the five that are cruising with me and it's the same thing right here, right now. Here right now, several of them just dropped off. That's perfect.
Speaker 1:They're not ready to hear this. Most of the world isn't ready to have the veil lifted like this. Most of the world isn't ready to see how malicious the ego is in using bodies. And you know, this is this is why it keeps on looping around. This is why it keeps on looping around, because people don't want to see this. They want there to be something to get in the world. They want there to be something here, something that's satisfying. You know, I have friends, definitely. You know, kicking back on me when I say something like.
Speaker 1:You know, sex is leading to pain. People will go. I don't think it's leading to pain. I think it's actually letting us touch on the divine. You know, people have fantasies of Jesus having sex with Mary Magdalene. That's a thing. Sarah's laughing, that's a thing.
Speaker 1:Though you know, some kind of divine sex, right, it's a fantasy. That's a fantasy. That's what I'm saying. And people think that they're doing it. They think they're having some kind of divine sex.
Speaker 1:Well, what Jesus says in A Course in Miracles is that the sexual impulse is actually a misguided miracle impulse. It's a misguided miracle impulse. It's an attempt to join bodies which cannot join. This is where I lose people, I know, and it's good. What I'm saying is. It's good. You know I'm not in it for this. I'm not. And it's good that what I'm saying is it's good. You know, I'm not in it for this. I'm not in it for what people think. It's not. It's not.
Speaker 1:Uh, hope Johnson is trying to get popular or something like that. Right, maybe she is, but that's not me. I mean, if I, if you gave me a choice right now and said you know, you can get popular if you say the right things and tell people that having sex is sacred, let's say, saying that they could touch the divine through having sex, as if more than another illusion. Right, all illusions are the same, they're all the same. There's really and I've said this before there's really no difference between having sex and, let's say, eating a sandwich. Really, right, it's an illusion, it's just an illusion. It's actually the meaning that we put onto it that makes it seem like it's something else, the taste that we get from eating a sandwich. You might eat a sandwich and go mm, this is a good fucking sandwich, right? You projected the taste, you projected everything onto it. Same thing with sex. It's the same thing.
Speaker 1:Only thing is with sex, the difference is you're using a body, it's like and a body is a symbol for the son of God. Basically, you're using yourself right. You're using yourself in a way that you get pleasure apparently get pleasure from it, but you cannot get pleasure from it at all and these bodies are projected into the field. You're projecting them into the field. They're actually the son of God and you're projecting them as an image that you don't recognize and thinking you can use it to get pleasure, even to get provision, to get anything. So that's why it leads to pain, because it's a misuse.
Speaker 1:Now, if you use, if you go into it with the Holy Spirit, look, you don't have a choice in whether you have sex or not. You really don't have a choice in it. You only have a choice in how you would see it If you would find yourself in either a fantasy in your mind without a body or with a body, and bring it to the Holy Spirit and ask the Holy Spirit to look on it with you. The reason you don't do that here's the reason you don't do that because you know it'll end. Your desire for it will end. You don't want it to end. You want to keep on using bodies like that. That's why it's a scary thing. You want to keep on using bodies like that. That's why it's a scary thing.
Speaker 1:It's scary to not use bodies for your pleasure, for your benefit, like that, because it means the illusion is being undone. It's hard. I know Durga is saying I relate with what you're saying. My husband loves sex. I am not opposed. So I asked spirit, okay, I imagine the penis as an umbilical cord reconnecting to my horror. I enjoy, but don't have to Interesting. Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 1:It's just a matter of seeing it differently. It doesn't mean you have to stop doing it, you can't. You don't really have a choice in it. It's actually just you're going to see it differently. You're going to see it as something that's used in service to spirit. And when you see it as something that's used in service to spirit, then it becomes a different thing. And again, what makes you afraid of looking at it like that is knowing that it's going to go away. It's going to become uninteresting to use bodies like that. It's like when you attain a certain level of purification, let's say you're not going to be interested in that.
Speaker 1:You know, when I tune in and ask Jesus about that Jesus, were you having sex with Mary Magdalene? The answer is. Why would I need to? Why would I need to? I'm already in ecstasy. Why would I need a substitute for the eternal? Why would I need to project a substitute?
Speaker 1:See, that's an effect of not knowing what the world is for. People are going to do it as long as they don't know what the world is for. It's an effect of that. It's like this Everyone who doesn't know what the world is for is a fucking perv. That's just how it is Undoing the world. That's all you could say. It's the means for eliminating itself, right? It's the only thing it's for itself, right, it's the only thing it's for. So to project a substitute. You know even everything. Nothing here needs to be wasted. It's like if you find yourself projecting any substitute sex being one of them, use it. Let the Holy Spirit in into the fantasy, into the act. Let the Holy Spirit in into the fantasy, into the act. Let the Holy Spirit into it. There's no need to waste anything. There's no need to waste, let's say, eating a meal. There's no need to waste anything. It's projected.
Speaker 1:All enjoyment of everything comes from using it for the Holy Spirit's purposes. There's a difference between pleasure and true enjoyment. Pleasure always leads to pain. You can look at it like this Eating food for personal pleasure always leads to something like indigestion, feeling fat, disease. Same thing with drinking alcohol, same thing with anything Using it for the Holy Spirit's purposes. It's totally clean, durga is saying.
Speaker 1:She projects onto food. She's seeing daily behaviors different. Good, that's the point To see these behaviors differently. What are you using them for? What are you trying to get out of it? See, when we stop wasting any of our actions, then there's no pain, there's no suffering, there's no cause for anxiety, nothing.
Speaker 1:But it's using these things in a way that's basically wasting time. There's wasting money, wasting, uh, wasting your energy, wasting your energy, wasting bodies using them. You know, we see on the world stage. What do we have? Sex trafficking now, right On the world stage. This is a reflection of the mind. The mind is basically been turned, obsessed with sex and food. That's what I notice. There's this obsession with them, there's this training to see things this way and when we recognize, oh my goodness, all the pleasure just leads to pain, you start to use things differently. You start to use it for the Holy Spirit's purposes.
Speaker 1:Now, if you're still with me and you want to lean in this direction, it's just a matter of noticing that you can bring the Holy Spirit into whatever you seem to be doing. It's a matter of noticing whenever you use the body for something other than awakening the mind, it's going to lead to suffering. You know, look for one thing, for one thing, look at this Everyone who ever has sex, if their body doesn't pass away beforehand, they end up impotent. They can't do it. Something happens Women end up not being able to open up, the men end up being not able to keep it up, and then what they're suffering over that. But there's actually what you're looking for, that pleasure. It's actually a pulse within your own body's energy field.
Speaker 1:And I've, you know someone. Someone asked the master, don't you wish, don't you miss having sex? Like, how do you do it? How do you do it without sex? And he said I'm just constantly in ecstasy, I don't need it, I don't need to project that. I mean, notice what it's. You know you can kind of feel into this. Notice what it's like to not need a substitute.
Speaker 1:And I know this is the reason why sexual fantasy even comes to my mind. So I can see that I don't need a substitute. You know it's because the ego is constantly talking to me. It's like, oh, wouldn't that be great. Oh, if you could just do that again. Oh, if you could do that again, it would be with someone who was mature and they can handle you and they would stay with you, and all of that that only comes from within, that sense of holding, that sense of staying. That's where there's that perfect geometry within, where the masculine and feminine meet and they're making love. It's the inner lovemaking. It doesn't end, it's completely sustainable. The projection, the substitute, it ends, even if it's long. I thought it was great. I was having sex for like three hours, five hours. That's nothing. That's still not sustainable.
Speaker 1:It's the misuse of bodies, it's fantasy. So now I could use, still use bodies, but in the way the Holy Spirit wants them to be used, and that's for truth, that's to bring everything to the truth. There's no fantasy on what this body can do for me. This even occurs in friendships. Look at how you use bodies. What would they do for me?
Speaker 1:What benefit is it to me to interact, let's say interact with this person? We can't hear the holy spirit's voice at all when it's an idea that we can use bodies for something. What we want to do is wake up from the dream, and it's a mutual benefit. What's that? What do you think is the? What really is a mutual benefit? There's no benefit in the dream. There's no benefit, uh, mutual or otherwise, there's just no benefit in the dream. There's a. There's only the only benefit of bodies is for awakening from the dream, see, so? So Sarah's asking what if there's mutual benefit?
Speaker 1:So what this looks like is two, uh, using each other's bodies mutually, and you know that's what you're asking for too. In a relationship like, let's say, a marriage, right, you want to use each other's bodies mutually, right? And so then it looks like oh, it's coherent, we're each using our, using each other's bodies. But that always breaks down. It always leads to pain because this using in the field. You know, if you let the Holy Spirit just use everything, you know it might even look like it's an uneven thing, and it's still good, because you're letting the Holy Spirit use everything for awakening, right? It doesn't have to be any kind of mutual benefit, it's just automatically. Holy Spirit, what should I do? Who should I speak to? Where should I go? What should I say?
Speaker 1:And then you're forgetting about any kind of benefit a body can be for you in the field, so you don't have to look at things that way. The universe is reciprocal, but it's not reciprocal in the way the ego makes it out. Where you're extending love, you're receiving love, it doesn't necessarily mean it's coming from a body that you seem to have given some kind of material benefit to. Material benefits may seem to come and go and stuff like that, but it's a matter of how are you using it? No one needs sex.
Speaker 1:One friend asked me many years ago. He said sex is a need, isn't it? And I go. Well, if the need is, for, if the only need is awakening from this dream, do you think you couldn't do it? If your dick was cut off, like if you didn't have a dick, you think you couldn't do it? You think you need that to do it? That person ended up becoming a celibate mom. You know, it's like you just recognize. Oh, I don't need anything in the field.
Speaker 1:Okay, durga's commenting this is great, because I'm imagining my spiritual practice infused in my other daily habits. I see how I kept my work with ACIM separate. It was meant to transform the mundane daily stuff. Yeah, yes, that's right, it's meant to transform the mundane daily stuff. Yes, that's right. It's meant to transform everything, all of the things that you seem to do. The Holy Spirit is not condemning any of your actions. Let's get back to that. The Holy Spirit is not condemning sex. That is not what I'm doing here. I'm bringing it into the light. I'm saying that if I need to do it, I'll find myself doing it. If I need that, because it's the, because it's the means for awakening my mind.
Speaker 1:Look you guys, I went into real estate for a year, right, and when I was on Wisdom Dialogues I was telling you guys, man, I do not feel like I'm in alignment with this at all. It seems like I'm only doing it because I seem to need money and there's fear and that's why I am even being a realtor at all Because there's fear of not having enough money. Right, I knew I was projecting it into the field. For that reason, and because of looking at it that way, it was able to be used by the Holy Spirit very quickly. The whole career lasted one year and then it was back to wisdom, dialogues with you guys and even deeper spiritual study and spiritual practice. That fear was cleared and it keeps on going deeper. That's what it's for. That's what sex is for. That's what everything is for.
Speaker 1:Cora's saying sex from the Holy Spirit is a reflection of the desire for truth. Sex from the Holy Spirit is a reflection of the desire for truth, complete connection, oneness. Yes, it's a substitute for that. It's a projected substitute. There's total freedom here.
Speaker 1:This is not saying not to have sex. This is not saying not to have sex. It's saying that once your mind is purified to a certain degree, you're not going to want it, you're not going to need it, you're not going to think you need it. You never need it. Well, let's say, if you're doing it, you need it, because whatever perception you're getting, you need that perception. That takes all guilt away from it.
Speaker 1:Durga says I feel freedom, not condemnation. Thanks for the nudge. Yeah, this is definitely meant to free your mind, not to condemn anything at all, and I know how it is. People feel condemned when I talk like this about sex, because people love their illusion that somehow having sex is letting them touch the divine through the act itself. To that it's just going to circle. It's going to circle around like that. The only way that it actually leads to the truth is where you have the Holy Spirit. Reinterpret it for you. Remember that it's a substitute. It's only projected as a substitute. This is not what bodies are meant to be used for. They're meant to be used for joining your, your minds. This has nothing to do with joining your body. It has nothing to do with touching, petting even light touching.
Speaker 1:One of my friends is into light touching. Um, I told him he set it up, it was a strategy. He set it up to get people to touch him because they, he thinks they don't touch him enough. Right, it's just a strategy. Because they, he thinks they don't touch him enough. Right, it's just a strategy. Um, and you know, and you know there's a, there's a subtle, was a subtle condemnation of sex in in putting this light touch as if it's better than sex, if it's better for us. No, it's all the same. There's no touching. No one ever touches each other. There's no touching. No one ever touches each other.
Speaker 1:Even in the physical realm, in science, when they talk about the space, the space that these bodies are, if you reduce it down, it's really just like something. You can't even see the amount of matter that makes up a body. If you reduce it down, take out all the space, the matter is reduced down to something you can't even see with the naked eye. Okay, and when they seem to touch, they don't really touch. There's actually space between them. That's in the manifestation itself. They don't even touch.
Speaker 1:So we think we want this touch, we think we're missing this touch. We're not really. This is what keeps us hankering for something in the field. That's not what's going on. This sense of missing something. It's missing our own spirit, it's missing our oneness with God. It's what causes us to look in the field, look for people.
Speaker 1:And you know I've been projecting this all over the place just so that I could have this experience. You know, with people I walk down the street. You know I get like cat calls from people, getting people making advances at me and stuff like that, and I was sharing that with a friend of mine and uh, and he goes I bet you just get that all the time and I go. Well, yeah, I'm projecting it. That's why, cause I have something to learn from it. There's something there's, there's something that I need to see from it. That's why it doesn't have anything to do with anything like the way I look or the way I walk or anything physical. It's not anything like that. I'm only getting it. It's only coming up because there's something I need to see about it. Right, there's this subtle sense. There's been this subtle sense of missing sex, so it needs to roll around like that so that I could see it.
Speaker 1:Cora says sex is meaningless, just like everything else. That's here. What I meant is that it speaks to the desire for oneness. Yes, that's right, it does. So what it's saying whenever it seems like I want touch and this is what's going on, I mean this is a great topic, because this is what's going on with people. This is what's going on for them. If they don't have it, they want it. If they have it, they don't want to lose it. It seems like it's really important. It seems like it's what makes life worth living.
Speaker 1:There's people going around acting all depressed because they don't have it. They don't have someone to touch them. They don't have someone to cuddle with. Right, there's cuddle parties so people could cuddle with each other. You know, I've offered to cuddle with people before because they seem so sad that they don't have cuddles. I was like let's cuddle it up, right.
Speaker 1:And a friend told me the other day she goes, she goes. Your energy just seems so clean, she goes, she goes. Your energy just seems so clean and I go yeah, well, that's because I don't want anything from you, right, I'm aware that I don't want anything from you, so that's why it's like I can give people a kiss, I could give people a hug, and it's not like I'm trying to get get, unless I am and I have been in that situation where I thought I wanted it from a brother and it was like, zoom, come here, give it to me. And you know, because I have the Holy Spirit looking on it with me, it can't last. That's another thing I'm really grateful for. It can't last. You know, it's like the ego's going oh, can I just, can we just do this for a little bit? It feels so good. Can we just have this for a little while?
Speaker 1:But the thing is, I've got my eye on awakening from the world so much that it can't do that. It can't keep going like that. It only leads to sickness. You know, all these things, all these manifestations of sickness, loss the sense of using. You know, I get the sense that I want this. I want, I want this sexual.
Speaker 1:Well, first, there's a sex that seems like it's really sacred sex. Oh, it's really deep and loving and oh my gosh, it's so wonderful. I just want to keep this. Can we just keep doing this longer? Can we keep going with this longer? So then the perception I get is the guy is a fucking, complete, immature dickhead. You know, he goes from one extreme to the other. Why am I manifesting it like this? Because I want to wake up. I want to wake up from dreaming.
Speaker 1:Does the happy dream include sex? You know what Doesn't look like it that's what's coming to me Does not look like it actually, like it actually. It looks like it's just a clean, uh, uh brotherhood where we don't use each other's bodies for pleasure at all. We just don't use each other's bodies for pleasure. And you know, I know that's going to spark a lot of disagreement. I understand A lot of people are probably going to stop listening to me right now. Friends that were friends are probably going to stop talking to me right now, and that's only because the mind is dinged. The mind is dinged with this idea that we need sex. What if we're all just friends, like kids that don't know about using each other's genitals like this? You know, I've got a way different experience than most people.
Speaker 1:I was raised very sexual. The first time I had intercourse with a little boy I was about six years old. I was taught in the Christian missionary group that I was raised in. Okay, the leader of the Christian missionary group, he thought, where it said God is love, he thought that meant you're supposed to have sex with everyone. You know, that was just. He was just allowing that. Basically that perv aspect that I've always seen since I was a kid. I've always seen that since I've been trained to see it. Really he just allowed that to rule the whole Christian cult that he was leading. You know, he could have he actually had a lot of really awesome teachings but this sex thing became the main focus because he was a horny, freaking dude in the, in the perception, and he allowed that to run him.
Speaker 1:That's what's going on, that's what's you know, it's like the whole, uh, the whole world, let's say the government, the media, all of that. It's being allowed to run everything. This horny sex drive. All of that. It's being allowed to run everything, this horny sex drive. Where am I going to get the next fix? How can I use the next body? I mean, good, good Lord. I mean, look, we've got sex trafficking now and it's very prevalent. Apparently, people are disappearing. I've been over to Guadalajara. Uh, over here it's maybe like 45 minutes from where I am, you know, there's posters all over the place of missing people, all over the place. It's like this many people are missing. What in the world is going on? And then you hear these stories of sex trafficking.
Speaker 1:This is reflecting a mind that is hyper-focused on sex. So I've seen it in myself included, since I've been young, since I've been trained towards sex. We had comics when I was a kid showing us kids how to have sex with each other. My parents, my dad and my stepmom actually had sex with each other while us kids watched. And it's funny because people that are still in that group they hate it. When I say something like that, they're like oh my God, don't say anything like that, this ruins our group or whatever. Well, you know, keeping things hidden is what lets them proliferate, like this, over and over again. I mean this is actually like why I know what I know and I'm glad. I don't think any of it is wrong per se, because it shows me things, it teaches the mind. It's everything given to the Holy Spirit as a means for awakening becomes a blessing. So it's a blessing that I was raised this way. It's a blessing that I've seen these things and I've been practicing sex since I've been about six years old, in fact.
Speaker 1:I was taught so much about sex I was able to seduce little boys when I was a little girl. Um, I, I would be like, hey, you guys hear about sex and, and I loved it, I thought it was great. I, you know, I, I loved the way it felt and you know, it was really fun and I, I loved, I loved, uh, hooking people up. You know like, hey, have you guys heard about this? Come on over here and try this out over here. I loved it. Um, it was a fun experience for me.
Speaker 1:So I see it in everyone. I would see, I would recognize it in everyone. I would recognize that, oh yeah, like, the underlying thought is where am I going to get? When am I? When is the next time I'm going to get some? When is the next time I'm going to get some? When is the next time I'm going to score? When is the next time I'm going to be able to use a body for my purposes? That's the ego. That's what the ego does.
Speaker 1:So it was training my ego from a very young age to see it, to see it this way, to see how to use bodies for my own pleasure. And that's what I was doing from a very young age. I didn't have that kind of innocent childhood. And, you know, maybe, maybe you guys are saying, oh, I didn't either. But, um, you know, typically a childhood is more innocent where, um, you, where you, you know, you make friends with people and you don't, you're not using your body, each other's bodies, for something like that, and that's not saying that it's not innocent. I know some of my friends are like, uh, oh, my gosh, I got so shamed when I got caught with my pants down with my friend. My parents shamed me. They said how dare you do that? And stuff like that. That's the other extreme. It's not like that. You know, you may, early on, have seen oh, I could use this friend of mine to get pleasure like this. It's still the ego, you're still innocent.
Speaker 1:No matter what the ego does, the ego seeks to use bodies. You know, I want to fuck is the same thing as I want to die. That's what I've seen and you know the voice in my mind and there's one mind, there's one mind. So it's not like hope. You're weird. I don't believe that there's one mind. And this is what's going on. It's trying to get something. It's very and you know, it's very much trying to use bodies. It may come around in different ways, it may come around in different ways in your consciousness, but what I'm saying is underneath it. It's this wanting to use bodies for the ego's purposes.
Speaker 1:Durga has a question here what place does pleasure of any kind have in a spirit striving to wake up? Well, see, let's look at the distinction between enjoyment and pleasure. Look at the distinction between enjoyment and pleasure. So the way I'm, you know, words really have whatever meaning we assign to them. So I'm just using them here for pointing Okay, true enjoyment is where you're using everything in your perception for the Holy Spirit's purposes.
Speaker 1:Remember, the Holy Spirit's purpose is awakening your mind from the stream. Using every perception, doesn't matter what it is. Using every perception for awakening your mind from the stream, that's true enjoyment. That could also be with sex, true enjoyment. You're using it for awakening from the dream. What does that look like? You're recognizing that you can't get any pleasure from the act. Pleasure is where you believe you can get pleasure from the act, that always leads to pain. So it's not like sex itself leads to pain. It's the way you're using it. It's the way you're looking at it, believing that you can get any pleasure from the act, the sense that you need it, that you're craving it, letting the Holy Spirit come in and reinterpret that craving for you. It's not wrong. That's the thing. If you make it out to be wrong, then that's resistance. That's different from what I'm saying. It's not wrong. Look, I'm giving you an example of how it occurs for me.
Speaker 1:I happen to get plenty of sexual fantasies and let me say, everyone who knows what sex is and has experienced it before get sexual fantasies and a lot of you feel so guilty about it. You cover it up so quick. You would say, no, I don't, I never, I never do that. You would say, nope, I'd never do that. Well, that's because you cover it up really quickly. That's, it's the underpinning of this freaking illusion. Sex and murder Okay, and they're basically the same thing. They're basically the same thing. They're both using bodies for the ego's purposes.
Speaker 1:So I'm walking down the street here in Mexico, apparently, there's no street and no walking, really, there's just a mind making things up. All of a sudden I'm hit with a sexual fantasy. I could hear the voice of a past lover. I get the words that he's saying, the sense, the body sense. It's like I'm there, I'm, I'm apparently walking down the street, but I'm not present to walking down the street. All of a sudden I'm in a sexual fantasy. It's like whoa, it just hits me like that. All I'm doing is gently asking the Holy Spirit to help me see this correctly. That's it. You know. The reason why we don't ask is because we want to keep it. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see it correctly.
Speaker 1:Next thing, you know, I'm entering a coffee shop Apparently. I order my drink, I go and sit down. I order my drink, I go and sit down. I open up a book on my Kindle on my phone. I'm reading on my Kindle on my phone. It's a book about Jesus. I forgot what it's called Something Love. It's someone's account of their experience with Jesus and in the book she says how she never felt diminished in the presence of Jesus.
Speaker 1:All of a sudden, this huge sadness comes over me and I can't even pay attention to the book anymore, because now I'm feeling so sad over the idea that the person who I'm having the sexual fantasy about, apparently I felt diminished in their presence and it was just shown to me right away. In that instant I was like, oh, thank goodness. I asked the spirit to be with me. A little tear comes in my eye. I asked the spirit to show me and I get to see right away pleasure, pain, right away. But you know why I get to see it fast like that? Because I want to, because I want to wake up. You know why you guys aren't seeing it fast like that. If you're not, some of you guys, some of you guys will come in. You'll hear this and go hope.
Speaker 1:But my sexual relationship with my partner, gosh, it's not like that at all. It's just pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, with no pain. You know why? Because you don't want to see it. It's okay. You can have it go on and on and on. You can have it go on for years, you can have it go on for decades, it's okay, there's nothing wrong with it. You're not ready. You're not ready to see it, that's all you know. It's fun because my apparent sexual partner, too, told me if I was 10 years older or 10 years younger, or if he was 10 years older in a dream, he would have married me.
Speaker 1:And you know he was glad that that wasn't the case, because he too and this is the reason why we're the ones that seem to be having sex with each other too he wants to wake up too. He was glad that I wasn't 10 years younger in the dream and he was glad that it was projected like that, so he wouldn't run away with me and we wouldn't go into this cycle where we're just like, oh, oh, all this pleasure for years and years and years. Isn't this so great? Because it's a distraction, because what we really want is to see through the dream. We don't want more of dreaming. We don't want to waste time in dreaming.
Speaker 1:This is not what it means to walk with each other in awakening. This is not. This is what I'm getting. This is not what Jesus and Mary Magdalene were doing. Okay, if they, if they did find themselves in any kind of sexual thing, in any kind of sexual longing or attraction or anything like that, they were using it to see that they don't want to use bodies for that. They were not trying to work sex magic.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is a new age thing talking about sex magic working sex magic. Look it A Course in Miracles talks about this. Magic is not the same thing as miracles. All right, magic is a perfect word for this. The sex magic. It's a perfect word. It's a distraction. It's meant to distract your mind.
Speaker 1:Okay, cora, I see it like ego offers only pleasure and relief, yes, and a repeating cycle of seek and never find pain and pleasure. Reality is joy, love, peace. Yes, the healed mind and the happy dream has us relating as brother and sister, not incestuous brothers and sisters, not needing to have these what you might call body desires satisfied, not needing to have that done, not needing to have any of that done to us. It's just relating in love, joy and peace. Believe me, you guys, I know this isn't easy. I know this isn't easy for anyone identified as an ego. I'm over here speaking it right now and I can say it's not easy for me.
Speaker 1:Okay, I didn't even know I was going to be talking about this today. I had no idea when I come on Wisdom Dialogues, I don't know what I'm going to be sharing with you guys. It's not easy for me to say this. You think this is easy? I mean, gosh, I feel like I want it. I feel like I want that, but you know what I want? More Awakening from the dream. I feel like I just want to go into, yeah, someone I can just have sex with for hours and ah, and just rest here. Oh, so nice.
Speaker 1:But what I'm being shown over and over again is that it's a distraction. I don't want to be distracted from waking up because you know, look at what we're trading for it. Look, it's really not that pleasurable in the first place, because it can't last, because it can't sustain. What's sustainable is the love of God, and what's being shown to me is that it's all within. That's why I'm being shown this sacred geometry right now how the masculine and feminine are actually within ourselves, how, on the last ACIM meeting, it came to real miracles being worked. Real miracles are actually collapsing time. See, what I was doing when I was engaging with these brothers in this way is still trying to use bodies, even trying to use bodies for provision. That's what I was just writing about and I have something coming out really soon that you guys are going to see.
Speaker 1:It's still good, it still works, because there's different people, different stages of seeing, and myself included, and I tend to go back and forth. I tend to capitulate back and forth. I'll go into it again and I'll find some goodies in there. I'll see. You know some things that I could. I could uh, I could extract some teachings from it, right, and I could share those teachings with you. It's not anything wrong with it. You're going to see something coming out on on Substack really soon. I'm almost done with it. It'll probably post tomorrow and it's going to be. It's going to be geared toward a provision. You know how the masculine within, when it's providing for the feminine, it can only reflect as masculine provided for the feminine without.
Speaker 1:Now, this was geared towards sexual relationships. I'm seeing more now as I go along, even in wisdom dialogues, during wisdom dialogues, I'm seeing more and then I find myself also that's why I say I'm not opposed to having sex again, I don't know if it's going to occur, I don't mind if it does or not, because of what it's used for. I'm saying I'm not opposed to it, but every time I find myself going back to it again. There's greater awareness Now. There's the awareness of very clear awareness. Will it remain clear? That remains to be seen, but there's a very clear awareness in this moment that it's a substitute for the ecstasy that's within. It's only a substitute. It can't last.
Speaker 1:Pleasure always leads to pain. Enjoyment is using all bodies and all things for the Holy Spirit's purposes. I see it like ego offers only pleasure and relief. Yes, and a repeating cycle of seek and never find pain and pleasure. Reality is joy, love and peace. I love that comment. Thank you, cora. And then she says, yep, cute aggression, cute aggression. I love that. Cute aggression is an example that reminds me of ego's love.
Speaker 1:Also the song closer by nine inch nails. I don't know that song. I'll have to check that up, check that out. Ungripping brothers yes, ungripping brothers. Wow, this is wild.
Speaker 1:You know, it's like I had a sense like gosh. That sucks that the person that I seem to be in love with you know. He's saying I would have married you if you were 10 years younger. And I'm like gosh, that is fucked up. That is one fucked up thing to say. But actually I look at it and I go. Thank goodness I get where that statement was coming from. Neither of us want to run around in illusion anymore. Thank goodness for that. This is the reason it was set up like this Because we both are devoted to awakening in this lifetime and that's why we came into connection with one another. I can't get sexually attracted really to anyone without that kind of devotion. Anyways, that's what I noticed. I mean, can I? I don't know, but it doesn't seem like it.
Speaker 1:It's funny, like around here I get all kinds of propositions. One guy was telling me when I was out at a dinner he goes, he goes. You know the. The ratio of women to men here is 40 to one, like 40 women to one man. And he would. You know. Of course everyone's thinking that everyone's looking for a partner. Right, he's like. So if you came here looking for a partner, you know your chances aren't very good and I go. Well, I've already had a whole shitload of propositions, so it must not matter that it's 40 to 1.
Speaker 1:If I was looking for a partner, I could certainly find one. That would be easy. Could certainly find one. That would be easy. Two people have told me I could live with them. They told me I can come live with them. You know the thing about living with people.
Speaker 1:I charge for that actually, that's actually something on my website that I charge for. It's not cheap either. You know why. It's like man if I come over and live with you. That's You're getting some. You're getting some good, some good action. Maybe not in the form of sex, probably not in the form of sex, but you're getting some good action in the form of awakening. It's a service that I actually offer, where I spend a minimum of eight hours a day with you, where I go through your uh, your life with you, your work, and show you know, show you reveal, reveal patterns and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Right, but these guys were asking me, you know that, you know, as if that's something that would be a relationship, some sort of relationship I've been offered. You know, apparently the story around here is that women are hoping to meet someone and marry someone so they can become a Mexican citizen or something and stay in Mexico. Yeah, I've been offered that already, not because of anything, but not because of any reason, but to help people see through the illusion and help myself see through the illusion. It's all myself. It's for teaching and learning. That's what I use everything for. I've been offered all kinds of sex. I've been offered places to stay, all kinds of different things. It doesn't matter that there's apparently this many looking for that? Who are looking for that? The thing is, I'm not looking for it. That's the whole draw. I'm using the illusion for one thing to help see through the illusion. That's my goal. That's my goal with the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 1:I still get the same kind of thoughts that regular, you could say regular people get, Sexual fantasy being one of them. I haven't since when was that Yesterday maybe, or the day before yesterday, I don't know Sometime this weekend Didn't have a sexual fantasy since then, which is unusual actually, because that's something that just like keeps on coming and I keep on bringing it to the truth and I know it's not personal. That's the other thing. That's why you know people might go man, hope you're a perv. You're having sexual fantasies all the time. No, it's a world thing. I'm open to it. I'm open to seeing it. That's why I'm open to it. I'm open to seeing it.
Speaker 1:That's why what goes on is people have that idea and cover it up, and then they wonder why they're bummed out, why it seems like they're not happening. If something's not happening for them, they're not getting what they think they want in the world. They're not getting. Even if you think you just want to cuddle, it's the same thing. You know they have cuddle parties over in Pahoa, where I'm from, where I came from before coming to Mexico. Cuddle parties, which I'm not saying is bad at all, it's not one bit. That is not what I'm saying. It's an outlet for this idea that we need touch and it's unwillingness to use it for what it's really for Any pleasure I get out of this. I'm projecting. That's really what's going on.
Speaker 1:Okay, so a clip from the lyrics to closer you let me violate you. You let me desecrate you. You let me penetrate you. You let me complicate you. I broke apart my insides. Help me, I've got no soul to sell, the only thing that works for me. Help me get away from myself. I want to fuck you like an animal. I remember that song. I remember that song. Yeah, that's it. You guys, that's going on and this song is great. I remember it. Now I didn't realize that's the name of it, but that's the part I remember. I want to fuck you like an animal. Yeah, I want to feel you from the inside. I don't know if I got the fucking tune right, but maybe I'll sing that in karaoke next time.
Speaker 1:My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to God. See, that's the idea too, that somehow this gets us closer to God. That's the ego, god. That's the ego. That's what the ego made, because that keeps, actually keeps us closer to identifying as an ego. Small g God. Yes, exactly, yeah, that's the ego, god.
Speaker 1:It's all about sex. It's all about sex and murder. It came to me. Sex, it's all about sex and murder. It came to me not too long ago. I want to fuck is the same as I want to die. It's like the flip, it's like the opposite of that, it's like the flip side. I want to die, I want to fuck, I want to die, I want to fuck, I want to die, I want to fuck, I want to die Same thing. So, watching that, I see, I see I'm giving, now that I, now that I'm, now that I'm on this again, in this way, I get visions of the happy dream and we're like, truly like children.
Speaker 1:Who hasn't, who haven't been contaminated with this idea that we could use our bodies for pleasure, that it would be a good thing to use our bodies for pleasure? Jesus, in A Course in Miracles, says you've misunderstood what sex is for. He says sex in the physical sense Is for making children, for making babies, so that we could Bring more bodies into the world, for forgiveness sake. He's talking about Sex being used as a container for that, and maybe there's a part where he alludes to sex being used when two people come together as a container for helping to awaken the mind. Maybe I'm not quite sure on that. I'll let you know when that becomes more clear to me. But certainly he's saying we've misunderstood it and he's also saying that no pleasure comes from it. This is a far cry from what people are talking about with this sex magic thing.
Speaker 1:There's a reason why in A Course in Miracles there's a distinguishing between magic and miracles, because magic is the ego's tool.
Speaker 1:It gets you closer to the ego God. It does not get you closer to God, as in the eternal God. It gets you closer to the ego God who wants nothing but to punish you. And using bodies in that way inevitably leads to punishment. It leads to a sense of punishment. You can't really be punished, but you know you end up suffering. You end up in suffering and I'm glad that the cycle runs for me quickly. I'm glad about that. I'm, I'm, I'm happy that I don't get to rest and relax in a sexual relationship. Ah, I have such a nice and I'm not one bit jealous of any of my friends who seem to be experiencing that. Oh, I finally found it. Oh, I'm having such a good, divine sex, magic sexual relationship. Everything's just going so right. You know what. That's the distraction that you need for now. That's what you want. If you're listening to wisdom dialogues, you also want to know, however dimly you want to know you might be pissed at me for saying this that it's a distraction.
Speaker 1:I had what I thought was the most beautiful situation. Everything seemed to be clicking. That only lasted. Where everything seemed to be clicking, maybe for a couple of weeks, and I'm going, you know, for a while. There I was looping around working what Jesus would call circular miracles. I was looping around with my Jesus would call circular miracles. I was looping around with my friend. My friend would go okay, I'm ready to commit, I'm ready to really do this. And then he'd go oh no, I'm not. So I looped around with it. These are the circular miracles that Jesus would talk about, where I get a forgiveness opportunity and I'd use it to basically bring my mind back into alignment as far as feeling good again. Okay, all right, all good, we're not, it's not real. And then? But then the loop would come again.
Speaker 1:Because the underlying belief that I needed to finally collapse time to stop looping around with this brother right, so finally stopped looping around with him was to see that I don't need him for that, I don't need him to change. And when I saw that I don't need him for that, then I recognized there's nothing for us to talk about. There is nothing for us to even talk about, because the energy that he was offering me had to do with ego games. It was part of the loop. Ego games it was part of the loop. And you know, certainly he'll see his way out of it too. He'll see his way right, if he, if he hasn't already, maybe he has already.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I haven't been having communication with him, but he may seen his way out of it too, because there was this sense like I was so drawn to him. There was a sense of specialness, like he was special in some way, that I was so drawn to him. And there was this and there was this game that was being played. Once I saw that I didn't need to use his body for that, that that wasn't interesting to me anymore. I could see right through the strategy he was playing. I was like I see your strategy, I'm not interested. Before that I was letting him play a strategy and kept on looping around with him.
Speaker 1:So once the time collapsing miracle was worked, once I worked the time collapsing miracle, which is basically seeing that the underlying belief that I need this brother to be any different Like I, you know, in in my mind. Here's what was playing out that I wasn't recognizing that I needed him to either decide to go away and stop pursuing me or I needed him to commit. I either needed him to go away or I needed him to commit. So what I saw was I needed neither from him. And then, once I saw that I could see the strategy he was playing so clearly, I just reflected it back to him. I said here's the strategy you're playing with me and all these different ways, and I'm not here to coddle your ego. And so there was like, oh, in that case, let's not do that anymore, right, in that case, let's not do that anymore, right?
Speaker 1:So the only reason that could have occurred even you know, in the physical sense, where there's this apparent joining like that for sexual interaction is that both of us have a very strong devotion toward waking up. So the even the games that are being played, we both have our eye on it Right, and in different ways. It's so interesting. It's so interesting how both of us help each other so much. You know, in some ways it seems like I'm further advanced than him, and then in other ways it seems like he's further advanced than me and really it's just the perfect combination to see that we don't want distractions anymore, that we only want to use these interactions and we only want to use each other for awakening the mind. We don't want to use it for anything else. We don't want to use these interactions and we only want to use each other for awakening the mind. We don't want to use it for anything else. We don't want to use it for these relationships. We're not going deep into ego relationships, separate relationships.
Speaker 1:I'm to the point now where it seems like I cannot bear children. So it seems like there's no reason for me to be involved in any sexual relationships. So any, it seems to me at this point in time, any sexual relationships that seem to be a pull toward me in any way. I'm just going to see him as a distraction. There's nothing there. For me, distraction is the gentleness you've asked for. Thank you, cora. Yes, that's right. That's right. Everything's so gentle. I mean, we are asking for distractions. We are asking for distractions, you know. We are asking for them just so we could see through them.
Speaker 1:The Holy Spirit is not condemning our dream. The Holy Spirit is only reinterpreting everything toward truth, and the truth is that this dream is only manifesting so that it could be used for ending all dreaming. It's not so that we can get what we think we want Again. The happy dream, the way it's coming to me, does not involve sex at all, because once the mind is purified of all guilt, there's no need to make babies. The only reason for making babies is to bring everything to the truth.
Speaker 1:Now, when we don't have that on our mind, when we don't have that on our mind, we don't want to use each other for that. We don't want to make each other special in this way. There's there's no, there's no cause for any any um harming one another. It's, it's this, this sense that we've harmed one another. I know for myself, with my husband, one thing that I felt, uh, really connected with him and like I just need to stay with him. How could I, you know, how could I leave a guy like this? He never gave me the uh, the impression that he was ever looking at another woman. That made me feel so special. No wonder I was able to loop around with him for 30 years. I felt so special.
Speaker 1:Cora says just wait, they're like gremlins and make. They're like gremlins and make more babies. Gremlins that's a good one. Yeah, we don't. We don't need to make babies Once the mind is purified of guilt. The only reason we need to make babies right now is because we need more consciousness to help us undo this illusion. That's the whole reason we're making babies. You know, from the ego's perspective, we're making babies to kill the son of God more. It leads to death, and that's why everything in the world always leads to death. All distractions lead to death and that's why everything in the world always leads to death. All distractions lead to death, sex being one of them.
Speaker 1:You know this weird attraction to food, and look it. Here's what I'm saying about a weird attraction to food. Notice how you think of a certain food, like it's your reward, a certain food, like it's your reward. Notice how you think of any kind of activity that you get to do Like it's your reward. There's no reward here. It's not like that. Anything that you think is your reward is your distraction. That's not making it bad or wrong. That's asking you to look at it as it is. Only look at it as it is, not making it wrong, not forcing yourself not to do it. Same with sex, same with everything Cora is saying more babies, more suffering. Yes, until we use the the illusion properly, until we really use the illusion properly, until we really use the illusion properly.
Speaker 1:The thing is, and what Jesus was saying in the last ACIM deep dive that we did, was that our mind is very much unguarded, even those of us who are really devoted like the way I see myself is one of the most devoted people in my perception right, one of the most devoted people in my perception and what I'm noticing is that my mind is often unguarded, and that's what Jesus was saying when he was talking to Helen and Bill in A Course in Miracles. He was saying your mind is almost always unguarded and, who knows, they were perhaps at a different place as far as devotion than I am, because I don't feel like my mind is almost always unguarded, especially since I could be walking down the street, apparently and a sexual fantasy occurs to my mind and within seconds, I'm asking the Holy Spirit to step in. I'm not letting that thing go right. That's a sign of devotion To me. That's a sign of devotion because I'm not letting things go.
Speaker 1:I'll get a thought, you know, because of this sense of missing my friend as a sexual partner what a fucking idiot, you know like a projection toward my friend. And immediately it's like wait a second, that's a projection. That's what I mean by guarding the mind. That's what it is. It's guarding the mind. It's going. That's a projection. What a fucking jackass, right? And then I'm noticing, okay, that projection, right, there is also covering up another thought, that I miss him. And then immediately that thought is met with no, I don't. No, I don't miss him, I don't miss the pain, I don't miss the cycling around, right? So this is what I mean by guarding the mind.
Speaker 1:If we're not guarding the mind, number one, the first thought, that's saying what a fucking idiot, he didn't see that this is fucking awesome and he should stay with it, right, what a fucking idiot. If you're not guarding the mind first of all, that thought automatically gets believed. So you don't recognize the underlying thought, underlying that that says I miss him. And then you can't recognize that you actually don't miss. You actually don't miss. That was actually just pain. It was just cycling around like that, right, you do not miss. We're not even capable of missing my friend, as he is as the light of God, as the son of God, is never left me. We're one. I can't miss him. And if I ever see him again in form, it's completely different Because that sense that I want to fuck him is purified Because I could see it. I could see it coming in. I could see the thought coming in and say Holy Spirit, look at this with me. So, first of all, there's a sense I want to fuck and I'm not getting it and I'm pissed and he's an idiot. See that this is what's playing out in the mind. I'm just recognizing it with the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 1:Sometimes people ask me gosh, you really share some personal, vulnerable stuff. It's not personal, it's universal. It is not one bit personal and I am the son of God. I am not vulnerable to illusions. See, the idea that anything is vulnerable. That's misidentification. There's no vulnerability here at all. That's why I'm able to talk about it. I'm not vulnerable one bit to illusions. I'm able to talk about it. I'm not vulnerable one bit to illusions. What plays out in my mind is playing out in a shared mind. None of these thoughts are private. I don't believe it. When you guys try to reflect to me that I'm the weird one, give me a fucking break. All the thoughts, suicide, everything they're all in one mind From a natural perspective. Here's a comment from Cora. Who's really fucking on it. Thank you, cora, for being with me From a neutral perspective, thank you.
Speaker 1:Idiots are players in the dream as well, though. Yes, and you know I've shared before. It's like if I'm saying what a fucking idiot, basically I'm talking about myself. Right, I'm not. I'm not talking about anyone but myself. There's no, there's no one doing anything outside of my own mind. I cast everything.
Speaker 1:If someone seems to be an idiot, that's a thought against myself, it's a self-attack. And here's the thing about self-attacks, you guys. All of them are physical. That's why it leads to death. All self-attacks are physical. So people suffer pain, emotional turmoil, scarcity, all these different things because believing attack thoughts have any meaning. They actually have no meaning.
Speaker 1:See, I was glad when I got this perception, um, when one of my friends told me I could have. I could actually. This reminds me of, like Jesus getting tempted. Um, it's in some of the, in some of the Bible passages where Jesus was being tempted. A friend told me you can have and my friend was doing me a great favor, you know, it was perfect. You can have, uh, you can keep on having sex with this person in another realm, in another dimension. You can keep on having sex with this person. There's actually a guide that wants to help you go there, to this other dimension, where you can have sex with him. And he's mature and he's awesome. He's not acting the way he's acting in this dimension, and I recognized it took me two days, though. First I was like, oh, that sounds great. I'm going to try to access this guide, I want it.
Speaker 1:It took me two days, though, to see that that was a huge distraction, and I know women who are suffering over that. I know them. They had the sense that this guy who showed up, they were perfect for them. They're their soulmate, they're the ones they want. What do they do? They spend their time longing for this Total distraction, totally distraught, all the time, totally looking at other bodies of other men, looking for that kind of connection, where it's going to come to that kind of connection again. Total waste of time, total distraction. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Speaker 1:So once I saw that it was a distraction, I was like oh, I'm on this, I'm so happy, I couldn't, I couldn't be happier. I just I just keep on getting happier and happier as this thing unfolds. And it's almost like going back to before this. Um, before this sexual energy arose with my friend, before it just came in kind of like a, a, a bang or a flood. It was just like boom, oh, my goodness, we're of this extreme joy. Uh, uh, extreme, and uh, let's say extreme may not be the word because it's also very calm. Um, it might seem extreme to an ego, cause the ego is like you got no reason to be joyful like this, you don't even have anything good. Why are you so joyful? Right, and I got to this place spiritually, mentally, you might say where I just felt so at ease and peaceful and joyful, and that's when this sexual relationship thing just came flooding in and I know that this is a thing, and now I'm really watchful for it Because I get the sense that I got back to that place from before this came in and at first it just felt so in alignment, it was like, oh yes, and then it showed itself to be a distraction. So now that I have that experience and I find myself in that, and that's the thing, that's why I keep on getting proposition too.
Speaker 1:It's a, it's this distraction, energy coming back, I'm like, nope, not appealing to me. It for one, it doesn't seem to be coming in exactly the form where I would accept it. Right, it doesn't seem to be coming in that kind of form. Will it come in exactly the form that I can accept it? I don't know. And if it does, will I accept it? I don't know. That remains to be seen. All I know is I'm going to use whatever it is that arises, not for condemnation of my actions, not for condemnation of my apparent choices. I'm going to use it the same way as I use everything in the dream, and that's for undoing the dream with the Holy Spirit's guidance. Dream with the Holy Spirit's guidance.
Speaker 1:Cora said you got scared of the integrity of more love. Sovereignty moment, oh, intensity of more love, yeah, yeah, it was an escape. It was like oh, I'll run into this because the veil was lifting. Because the veil was lifting right now, and so I'm back to that. I'm back to that sense of just like oh, I'm so stoked. I'm not projecting onto anyone that they should be anything for me, I'm just getting a sense like it's perfect as it is and now, with no apparent sexual partner, I'm loving it All right.
Speaker 1:Thank you everyone. Thank you for joining. So, um, go visit my website If you want more. Hope Johnson hopejohnsonorg. I now have on my blog page. This thing is being updated all the time. I apparently hired someone to help my blog page. This thing is being updated all the time. I apparently hired someone to help me and it's being updated all the time.
Speaker 1:There's a donation thing on there that works. You guys can donate to me. I'm a hundred percent off, working off of donations. Now I don't have any kind of source of income, except you can do one-to-ones with me via my website, and that's something that can be paid for. Also, I've become a religious nonprofit now, so your donations are 100% tax deductible because of that. You can set up recurring donations if you want. Now, if you make any donation to me via my website, let me know if you want to. This is going to start being automatic eventually.
Speaker 1:But let me know if you want a free, paid subscription to Substack, because I'm doing paid stuff on Substack. This is not these wisdom dialogues, those are free, but I'm doing articles on Substack. I'll be writing about all this stuff too, and with the articles I do a voiceover and I also do a bonus audio at the end. Those things are on a paid subscription. So if you donate to my website or you just hear me on here, you don't donate. It's fine. If you want to send me a message anywhere, send me your email address and tell me you want a free, lifetime paid subscription to Substack. I'd rather have you, if you feel inspired to donate, donate on my website, because then you're not paying a 15% service charge to Substack. Okay, and when you pay it to Substack, that's not a tax deductible donation. When you pay it to HopeJohnsonorg, it is because I am officially a religious nonprofit. So, hopejohnsonorg, sign up. When you sign up for my newsletter now at hopejohnsonorg, you're automatically going to be added to the Substack newsletter. Basically, my website is being integrated with Substack. When you go to my blog page soon to be on my homepage you're going to see all my latest stuff. It's going to be really easy to access all the things that I do, which is a lot.
Speaker 1:Now, uh, because I don't have a source of income, because I did see through the idea that I needed a source of income, um, outside of this sharing with everyone. Um, no more real estate agent, no more miracle botanicals owner manager. I'm not. I'm getting, I'm in the process of getting completely disentangled with Miracle Botanicals, not that I don't still totally love Miracle Botanicals. That's the business I founded. My husband is running it now. He also is really good at sourcing the best essential oils in the world.
Speaker 1:Totally recommend it. I Totally recommend it. I totally use it. In fact, I had him send a box here with a bunch of stuff for me here to Mexico which I didn't get because something to do with customs. We'll see what happens. I'll be back in the States. By the way, august 31st I have my plane ticket bought.
Speaker 1:August 31st I'll be going to Sedona, arizona, where my lovely friend Thomas is going to be hosting me. He's gone to Wisdom Dialogues a lot over in Hawaii where I started and was doing Wisdom Dialogues for 11 years, and he offered to host me in Sedona, arizona. So we'll see what the spirit guides while I'm over there. But anyone who wants to come and visit me, you're welcome here in Mexico until the end of August or over there in Sedona. The plan is, after Sedona, november 1st, somewhere around November 1st, for me to go to Washington where I'll be hosted by some other friends, billy and Casey, in Bellingham, washington, in a beautiful home on a lake during the winter months, where that's going to be interesting, because I'm getting the sense that I'll go into a mode where I'll be doing maybe more extensive writing, like book writing. But who knows, we'll let the spirit guide it and see what's happening, having a great time, living in alignment with whatever the spirit wants, because I have no ideas anymore of anything that I need to get for myself, not a partner, not someone to have sex with, not someone that I need to provide for me, not a job, nothing like that, just listening to the Holy Spirit and going deep, going deep and undoing this dream for myself and for everyone.
Speaker 1:All right. So yes, thank you, I love you. Thank you, dorga, I appreciate you. I'm glad the veil continues to lift for you. Me too, teaching is learning, giving is receiving. I love it and, yes, I would love some earrings donation. Thank you. I mostly love actually not mostly 100% love to wear feather earrings. I love feather earrings, see, like this, that are thin and light. This is my favorite thing. Um, if you give me other kinds of earrings, I can't guarantee that I would really wear them. Um, but if you feel like sending them to me, go ahead. That sounds fun. I don't have an address for that right now, but I will.
Speaker 1:What about expanding miracle botanicals into Canada? Be the queen, disperse the work. Well, you know, that's not guided for me. That's the thing. Miracle Botanicals has not truly been guided for me since 2014. The reason I found myself continuing to do it was that masculine aspect of myself that thought it had to hold everything up. The calling for me is to do this. What I'm doing with you right now, and also, uh, the the different writings and the different recordings that I do 100% of the time listening to the Holy spirit, not running any kind of business. Okay, and I'm not saying you can't run a business while listening to the Holy spirit. That's just not the calling for me right now, and I'm also open to that changing if that be the case. So, thank you everyone. I love you Until next time. I'll be back on Wednesday for another ACIM Deep Dive, same time here on Zoom and also Substack. So I love you.
