Hope Johnson's Wisdom Dialogues
Hope Johnson's Wisdom Dialogues
Collapsing Time: A Non-Dual Approach to Eternal Life | Wisdom Dialogues @ Ajijic Mexico | August 18, 2025
Have you ever questioned whether death is truly inevitable? In this illuminating episode, we explore the radical difference between conventional non-dual teachings that accept death as "part of life" and the deeper understanding that allows us to collapse time and transcend the entire illusion.
I share a powerful encounter at a satsang where I felt compelled to challenge a spiritual teacher who was telling her students that life and death are intrinsically connected. This sparked a profound realization: most spiritual teachings, even those claiming to be non-dual, still implicitly worship death by treating it as unavoidable. But what if life has no opposite? What if death is merely a denial of truth rather than an intrinsic part of reality?
Through personal stories of heartbreak and transformation, I reveal how our painful experiences create cracks where light enters—opportunities to recognize how we're creating our own suffering through our beliefs. I describe my recent discovery of the "sacred heart" meditation that offers satisfaction far deeper than anything external in the world could provide. This internal communion with Spirit becomes available precisely when we stop projecting specialness onto others and release our attachment to worldly satisfactions.
The episode weaves together insights about how we manifest relationships specifically to show us what we need to see, how progress on our spiritual journey is saved between lifetimes, and why inviting Spirit to look with us at our most difficult thoughts transforms our perception. Whether you're new to spiritual concepts or a seasoned seeker, you'll find valuable guidance for using every experience to strengthen your recognition that separation never happened.
Ready to go beyond conventional spiritual comfort and discover what it means to truly collapse time? Join me in this wisdom dialogue that points to eternal truth beyond all appearances.
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Aloha and welcome to Wisdom Dialogues with Hope Johnson, coming to you from Ajijic, mexico. Yay, thank you for joining. I love you. So it occurred to me just recently why this is called Wisdom Dialogues and you know it was given the name Wisdom Dialogues back in 2014, apparently when I was doing a retreat. I called it an awakening retreat.
Speaker 1:Apparently, when I was doing a retreat, I called it an awakening retreat and I had a friend who was a shaman come to the retreat Shaw woman, I guess you might say and. And I said I don't know what I'm even going to do on this retreat. You know, I had no idea. I said the spirit is just telling me to sit with the people for an hour every day. Spirit is just saying sit with the people. So that's what happened. I sat with the people, sat down, had a little meditation and just started speaking with them. And so my friend who was on the retreat with me and she was doing these different she's basically doing ceremonies, you know, like shaman kind ceremonies, and my main job on the retreat was just to hang out with people, take them around, show them Hawaii, you know, take them swimming, take them down to the nude beach, take them to ecstatic, dance, all that kind of stuff. And when I sat down and started talking with them, people were like what in the world? They're like, what is your training? What is your lineage? This stuff is deep, you know, and my friend goes. My friend named it, she called it wisdom dialogues. I was like, oh cool, that's awesome. And you know, over the years people would make comments to me about why are you calling it a dialogue? It seems like more of a monologue. Barely anyone even asks any questions. You're just shining, you're just, you're just speaking the whole time and shining the light of awareness the whole time. Oh, it's frozen. Okay, anon, you know what? If it's frozen, you can always go over to Zoom. I'm going to give you the link. Hold on a second Anon's over on Substack saying that I'm frozen. So I'm going to go find a link for you. Okay, here's the link. Link to Zoom. Yeah, my mom told me that was happening last time too. Who knows, it could be my connection. But anyways, there's a link for Zoom. It works better. Okay, there's a link for Zoom. It works better, okay.
Speaker 1:So it occurred to me just recently. I was reading something and it was talking about it was another Jesus channeling, and it was talking about how the spirit is constantly in a dialogue with the self that thinks it's separate. It's constantly in a dialogue like that, and that's what this dialogue is, you know. It's like there's this sense of self that finds itself to be separate, thinks it's separate. Do you know? You know how you know that the sense of self thinks it's separate Because it's projecting a body, right? So it's like you've never, never, think that you've overcome that until you're not projecting a body anymore. Exactly that's Sal saying there's a body here and a body there. So it's like God created us to be self-aware but not aware as a body, not like that. Okay, so this awareness as a body is indicating that there's a self that seems separate.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, Christine. I'm glad it's working for you. Anyone who it doesn't work for in Substack, come on over, christine. I'm glad it's working for you. Anyone who it doesn't work for in Substack, come on over to Zoom. I think it's more stable.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I was clued into that. I go oh, that's what it is and that's what's going on with me. Is that I'm making it vocal, like that particular constant communication, that constant dialogue between spirit and the self that thinks it's separate. I'm vocalizing it. So that's why it's called wisdom dialogues, that's why that name was given to it and that's why it is a dialogue and it's not a monologue, because it's not like I'm just speaking into the void, like that. You know it's actually. I'm actually communicating to you what the inner dialogue is between spirit and this sense of self that thinks it's separate, and then that makes it even more of a dialogue because it's going from spirit to all right, so it's even deeper of a dialogue. So that's what it is that I'm sharing with you and I'm so happy to be able to do that. It's like I listen and then speak, whatever it is that I'm hearing. That's all. Oh, thank you, christine. I curled it today. She likes my hair. Yay, what fun.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I had an amazing experience this week and I wrote about it on Substack. You guys could check it out on Substack. Substack. I even did a little bonus audio on there and I want you guys to receive my bonus audios on Substack. So if any of you don't have a free paid subscription and you want one, you can pay for a subscription on Substack if you want. It's $8 a month and then you'll be able to get my audios. But if you're listening to this right now and, for any reason, you don't want to pay $8 a month through Substack and that's totally okay send me a note. Anywhere you want to send me a note, I'm on social media and give me your email address and I'll set you up for a free, paid subscription. You can also donate to me and I'll get closer to 100% of the proceeds. If you go to my website, hopejohnsonorg, you can even set up monthly donations there, okay? So, anyways, I did a bonus audio about it where I basically talked about my experience, and you can have it there Also.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited about this because this is something that came back around for me. It was something that I experienced three years ago and it has to do with non-duality teachings that are not A Course in Miracles. And what also came clear to me today while A Course in Miracles is a non-duality teaching, it takes it further than that. It actually takes it further than that, and I've seen this for a while, but it just wasn't. You know, as clear about it as I am now and see what's going on.
Speaker 1:So, going back about three years ago, one of my friends said oh, you have to go to this satsang. This is one of my teachers. Come over to this satsang. So I go to the satsang and come to find out, at the satsang, the person giving the satsang the teacher is completely worshiping death, and I see this as a common thread with non-duality teaching. It's like there's this worship and death. It's like, oh, this is what's going to happen, this is inevitable, basically, and at the time, what he was hurting about, suffering over which I could see the suffering right there, you know he was suffering over was aging.
Speaker 1:Someone asked the question you know, how do I see this? Basically, they're asking how do I see this aging differently, in this pain that I'm going through with, aging differently? And what I saw was the teacher starting to commiserate with that, right, with that, and saying basically saying yeah, I know I'm feeling the same kind of way. I have to deal with this and this and this and this, and they had, he had no solution for undoing this and basically, this is an ego effect, it's meant to be undone, okay, and I'm sitting in there and you know, I wasn't guided to say anything, just to listen. And as I listened, I was just like wow, and I'm, you know, looking at all these people so reverent toward him and toward this teaching, and I see them getting some relief.
Speaker 1:What I'm noticing is this is the same kind of relief. We've been deep diving into A Course in Miracles recently in the chapter two that talks about psychotherapy. It's the same kind of relief that people get through conventional psychotherapy. It's just like, yes, this is a part of life. You know you have to this. Death is a part of life, aging is a part of life and you know you have to be at peace with it, which is great. It's one step in the right direction. Right, it's because we're offering. What's being offered is a sense of peace and relaxation with it. It's just not that deep teaching that helps people to actually undo it. So this is keep, still, keeps it projecting, it doesn't collapse time, which is what you get from. You know, a teaching like a course in miracles.
Speaker 1:Now, there's not very many teachings that I see that are like this, that are actually saying, okay, it's great to get the relief and this is also what Jesus was talking about. You know the surface level miracles are the kinds of miracles that get you a sense of release and relaxation and of course, jesus wants that for us. You know the sense of release. It's just that he would have you take it another step further and actually collapse time, deny reality to this idea that death is a part of life, right, like wow. And you know my mind what?
Speaker 1:I noticed the difference between now and at that point in time. My mind was moving toward condemnation of the teacher. It's like how is he even in that role? That doesn't make any sense, and that kind of stuff like that. So what happened was my friend set me up for a one-on-one with the teacher and I got to go have an experience with him and what he did was he connected me to this thing that could tell what my heart energy was. And while I was sitting there my heart energy was really nice.
Speaker 1:And then all of a sudden it came back to me, that sense, that feeling of that condemnation. He's like whoa, what's going on right now? What are you thinking? And so I shared with him. I go wow, I was just flashing to the Satsang and how it seemed like you were worshiping death when you were talking about aging, and how it seems like I need to help you, right.
Speaker 1:So he was so sweet about it too. He was just so humble he goes well, you know, I'm not saying that I know everything. You know, I'm not saying that I'm just like sharing whatever I can and and I go, yeah, yeah, and I see that too within myself, that idea that I need to help you. You know, there's a one, there's an idea. That's what the anxiety was about within me and that's what was like having my heart energy, kind of like that.
Speaker 1:I don't know how it looks on his screen, but he was using heart math and I got some relief right there, seeing that there's nothing for me to do about it, like there's nothing for me to do, just because I'm seeing that this is basically, you know, that's just discernment. Seeing this is a false teaching, but it's not a malicious thing and it's not like the person shouldn't be in that position and it's not like the people in the room need to be saved from a false teaching. It's a matter of seeing that the teacher is saying and doing exactly everything. Remember, 100% beneficial, 100% helpful, everyone's being a hundred percent helpful and everyone in that room is being helped in the way that they can handle being helped, right At that point in time, like everything is going right and the thing for me that has always seemed to be frustrating for me and some of the people that follow me too, you know they're like what the heck? Why isn't what you're saying more popular? And the more popular spiritual teachings are really more of this softball thing. That's pretty much like modern psychology, you know, and you know that's because that's what people are ready for right now, and it's not right or wrong. It's not like that. We all just get whatever we're ready for.
Speaker 1:So I got some release right there and throughout this, I've always gotten more and more release. I mean, before I picked up A Course in Miracles in 2014, that was the first time I opened the book. I had a huge burden on my heart. I felt like I needed to write a book like that, right, I had this sense like I needed to save the world. I had a huge burden on my heart. I felt like I needed to write a book like that, right, I had this sense like I needed to save the world, right, and I needed to write a book like that.
Speaker 1:Once I opened the book and started reading it, I got this huge sense of release. I'm like, oh, here it is, I don't even need to do anything about it. This book is here, anyone can just find this, and it's got everything you need to know about how to get to where you want to be basically, which is where do you want to be? The kingdom of heaven, right? You don't want to be locked in illusions, right? You don't want to be locked in, basically, this prison of your own mind. No one really wants that. But not everyone knows that they don't really want that. Most people still believe that they want. You know, if you said it like that prison of your own mind, of course they're going to say, no, I don't fucking want that, but they think they want the effects that they perceive here at least some of them, because there's still hope that this is going to somehow be satisfactory at some point in time. Right, there's still hope that some way this is going to satisfy, right?
Speaker 1:Christine? Oh, yeah, she remembers, because she went to the same spiritual teacher and she had a huge awakening. Yeah, he had a procedure where it was like he would have us look through our head like it's a paper mache, and Christine had quite the awakening with him. Yeah, exactly, that's why I'm saying you know, nothing's wrong in any of these spiritual teachings. It's just that it's not designed these spiritual teachings non-duality without the collapsing time aspect of it, without the undoing the ego's dream aspect about it. They're not meant to collapse time. That's not what they're for. But you know what? The people who are devoted and dedicated to those paths, they're on their way. The Holy Spirit has them. I mean, everyone has this call, this pull towards truth, the desire for truth that's constantly leading them there and it's the devotion that's always moving everyone in the direction to the degree that they can handle it. And you know what? If at this point in time, it's only a few people who want to hear about and want to devote themselves to collapsing time, sal is one of them.
Speaker 1:I'm super grateful for him, this guy. He's had his eye on this idea of death and aging. For what? How many years? Sal? 30 years. He's fucking awesome and he's not letting up on it. He's not like looking in the mirror and seeing evidence of aging and going.
Speaker 1:Well, this is proof that I was wrong. I'm just going to forget about that idea that eternal life is the reality. He stays on it and that's what Jesus is asking us to do, because it's not even about one lifetime. And you know what? All of the progress you make in this regard, it's getting saved. It's saved for you. You know, even if you don't see past this illusion in this lifetime it's possible that it's in this lifetime but if it's not in this lifetime, your progress is saved sort of like in a video game. You know, when you level up to a certain level and you walk away from the game, you go eat something and you come back and you're still at that level that you leveled up to right. It's like the same, it's kind of the same way. I like video games for that. They're a good symbol, right? This is like a video game actually, you may seem to be aging while your mind is being purified over time and that's all that time is for. It's for seeing through this illusion. So we just keep on going in that respect, going in that respect. So I'm not looking to go to Satsangs normally. I'm not looking to go to one of those, because I know what's going on.
Speaker 1:It's non-duality teaching. It has nothing to do with collapsing time. It's basically about giving comfort to an ego. That's what's going on. It's giving comfort to an ego and it's so funny because it says it's non-duality, but there's a strong belief that death is inevitable. That's what I notice. It's inevitable, we just have to be okay with it. That sounds like duality to me, but you know, anyways, everything's comical, everything's comical to me. That's the way I take it.
Speaker 1:So I was at the farmer's market and I made, I made eye contact with this woman and you know she was very bright and happy and and of course I too, and we make eye contact and she tells me she's been a spiritual teacher since the 80s and that she started with teaching a course in miracles. That's why my ears perked up A course in miracles since the 80s. Yes, and I'm giving a satsang and I'm still here while she's giving. Oh, I'm definitely going to that satsang. It was like not even any question about it. I'm still here while she's giving. Oh, I'm definitely going to that satsang. It was like not even any question about it, I'm going to be there. And you know, we danced and had a great connection.
Speaker 1:And so the day of the satsang, I was here in my casita and I got a sense. I didn't really feel like going, I just wanted to hang out in my casita, maybe do some ACIM lessons and maybe do some recordings, I don't know, read a book, stuff like that. And then the Holy Spirit nudged me. He's like take a shower and see how you feel after that. So I took a shower and then next thing I knew it was like no question, I'm out the door, I'm walking over there. I actually arrive early. I sit right in the front row. You know, I'm like super ready to go. I'm like stoked. I'm not thinking I'm going to say anything in the satsang. You know not. You know why.
Speaker 1:Because people are asking questions in the satsang. They're, they have questions. I I didn't think I had any question, you know, uh, so I'm listening to it and you know it's, it's good, nothing super deep to me, it's basically go inside, find the stillness, okay, uh, and and find out. You know why? Uh, you know why. Really nothing. There's nothing to be upset about, any kind of suffering. You have nothing to be upset about. Go inside, find the stillness.
Speaker 1:And then, um, someone asks what about this aging body? I'm afraid, I'm afraid it's going to die. I'm afraid that this body's going to die right. So the teacher sweetly takes her hand, looks into her eyes and basically tells her you're right, that's what's going to happen. That's what's going to happen, which you know. That's the ego's central dream, that's the central thought of the dream. This is what's going to happen, it's inevitable. You're going to die, or at least your body is going to die. And you know, I watched the woman get some release. It's like you're right, you're. You know this is what's going to happen.
Speaker 1:So go inside and recognize that there's nothing to be afraid of, Right? So that's what I mean about getting comfort but keeping the ego belief intact. So still, I'm going. Okay, that that's. That's interesting and funny, it's fun and funny. I'm not thinking I'm going to say anything. Right, it doesn't seem like I'm going to say anything.
Speaker 1:So then, a couple people later are talking, talking, and the teacher explains how life and death are inextricably, intrinsically I think it said that was the word intrinsically connected, like you can't have one without the other. She was explaining that to the group. You cannot have life without death. That's not a possibility. Uh, I don't know, that sounds like duality to me. But hey, what do I know? So then I'm still just chilling, I'm not feeling any nudge from the Holy Spirit to say anything.
Speaker 1:But then the question comes does that make sense? Does that make sense. And it was like boom, I had to speak. It's like there was not even a choice in it, like no, that makes no sense at all. Actually, it actually makes no sense.
Speaker 1:And I think she asked me why not? Why doesn't it make any sense? And I said, well, life is life, it doesn't have an opposite. Death is just denial of truth. There's no opposite to life. Life is eternal, right.
Speaker 1:And I noticed there was a sense of defensiveness. You know, this is right in the satsang where I'm going. No, I, you know I couldn't sit there and just nod about this, because there's the question does this make sense? And so I answered that question no, it doesn't, doesn't make sense, that doesn't make sense at all. So you know, I was just paying attention to how much the Holy Spirit would have me speak, because there was an obvious defensiveness. You know, basically, this is a contradiction to exactly what she was just explaining and convincing everyone of, that life and death are completely related and you can't get out of it. You can't have life without death.
Speaker 1:Apparently, this is non-duality teaching, because this is what I've seen, and it's funny because both of them have the same teacher, ramana Maharshi, and I'm sensing the energy of Ramana Maharshi with me, thanking me for clearing this up. He's like. He's like thank you for clearing this up at this point in time, right? So there's the question well, what about all of this evidence? You know, in the satsang it was something like well, what about all this evidence? Don't you perceive that these bodies are aging and dying? And it's like yeah, I'm getting that perception, but there's something else can occur. We have an example of it with the resurrection. Whether you believe in Jesus or not I didn't say this in there, but I'm sharing it with you Whether you believe in Jesus or not and what he did, we have that idea of a resurrection that makes it possible for us right there Now, that idea of resurrection. So we're choosing all the time which thoughts we would make true. So she told me eternal life is just a thought. And I go so is death? And we choose.
Speaker 1:At that point I noticed from the crowd, just kind of like hmm, just kind of like hmm. But you know, she proceeded to basically shut me down Basically go well, if you achieve that, why don't you just come back and prove it to us? And I was like oh, I see, okay. And then, and then you know, there was a kind of like a shutting down of the of the conversation when it was just like you go ahead and keep your belief right. And that's when the Holy Spirit told me that's enough. So I just said thank you and I just stayed, you know, and after that and you know the major teaching for me, one just allowing the Holy Spirit to use me as an instrument, without becoming defensive, because right there, when it's like okay, you could just keep that belief, that's when I felt the urge of the ego to correct that and that's where I just stepped back and said thank you. So, you know, there is this sense like, uh, like um, something, something went wrong.
Speaker 1:Right after that, that's where the major part of the teaching came in for me, and this is where I demonstrate to myself that there is only eternal life, that there's no death. This is where the demonstration comes in for myself, where the ego starts talking. Uh, demonstration comes in for myself where the ego starts talking. You know, hold a grievance here. You know, take this as a slight, you're right, take this as something that's mean or bad or something like that. Just get up and leave right. Different thoughts swirling. So this is where it comes in for me.
Speaker 1:But no, I'm staying and I'm focused as far as listening, continuing to listen, and as I continue to listen, what I'm witnessing is defensiveness arising because the teacher kept on talking and kept on making you know, saying stuff that you learned from a book, that isn't really from your own experience and different things like that, but just continuing to feel grateful that this doesn't touch eternity. And I have nothing to defend Whatever she's saying, to try to defend the idea that there has to be death, that we don't have a choice, that there must be death. Wherever there's life, there's death. Right, it doesn't actually touch eternity. And to the extent that I'm willing to listen to what she's saying without projecting back any kind of defensiveness, that's where I'm actually demonstrating to myself and I'm strengthening my perception that only eternal life is true and it does not contain death. So I'm sitting there and I'm getting a beautiful spiritual experience, like big heart energy.
Speaker 1:I have a huge smile on my face and I know at one point we made another connection without words she was talking about you can't believe anything you read in a book. You can't believe anything. Any spiritual teacher tells you. You just have to go in and know it for yourself. And I was like smiling from ear to ear and making eye contact with her and I was just like, yeah, and I was just like I was just really feeling it, you know, and I knew, I knew that she knew that what I was saying was true, even though it wasn't on't showing on the surface Because, see, hold on, let me let that truck go by. I don't know if you guys can hear it Because, see, when we're speaking truth without defensiveness, we're connecting on a deep level that knows this stuff. Like she knew it, I could see it.
Speaker 1:There was this defensiveness because you know she's got her group and I could totally understand that. You know I'm not trying to disrupt any group, that's not like that's not my MO at all or to try to correct someone or something like that. It was like I just couldn't help it. The Holy Spirit just wanted to use this as an instrument, plant seeds, whatever's going on. I don't need to know how it transpires and what comes of it. Right, I'm just like along for the ride and it was kind of like a psychedelic ride.
Speaker 1:It was awesome, but I could see that she knew I could see it, and so the next day I wrote her a note just thanking her, thanking her for her devotion, letting her know how much she helped me to strengthen my perception and awareness of eternal life, and letting her know I see her in perfectly shining and just, you know, like a note of gratitude. And she wrote me back and she said I'm with you, something like I'm with you on that. It is eternal, life is eternal, you know. So she confirmed to me later that she actually does know this, right, and you know, I know it's helpful for people to have someone reflecting back to them hey, life is eternal, because, especially when you're the teacher and you're not having anyone say, hey, wait a minute, this is an inquiry, anyone you're not having anyone say, hey, wait a minute, this is an inquiry. Let's inquire a little bit deeper. Let's inquire past this duality called life and death. If it's non-duality, then only one must be true. Which one is it? Is it life or is it death, right?
Speaker 1:So what happens is people get caught up in their own teachings and don't see, because they're, you know, everyone who's coming around is just like oh, yes, yes, yes, nodding, yes, yes, yes, yes. And that's what occurs. And I know one beautiful thing, one beautiful thing in my experience people challenge me all the time. My, my friends are always bringing me back. It's so great, you know, they're always, they're always go. Hey, wait a second. Hey, wait a second. What are you saying? And I'm like, I know, I know, got to play in this for a second, I'll be back Right. Get caught up in something. It's like I'll be back Right.
Speaker 1:So so you know, it was also a really good teaching for anyone who has questions like when do I speak, how do I know when to speak and when to shut the fuck up? Right, it's like you can feel it, you can sense it. Like for me there was no forethought at all, just that question, and it was like instantaneous. I was just staying open. I wasn't like planning for myself whether I was going to talk or not, but I was staying open to the energy and then I could see, okay, once it gets to the point where that's enough, I could sense almost like a closing down of that energy and it's like, okay, thank you and go to gratitude.
Speaker 1:So once I left the room and I was walking back home, then I noticed another whirlwind of ego thoughts. Right, but I was ready for those. It was great. I was stoked because, you know, I flashed back to the experience like three years ago and I asked the Holy Spirit to stay with me. I want to use this Under no uncertain terms. I want to use this experience right here for demonstrating to my mind that there's no death and only eternity is the reality. Holy Spirit, stay with me, help me see all these thoughts differently.
Speaker 1:See, so it's not a matter of, like you know, just trying to get back to the silent place, which is what the non-duality teaching is. It's actually using the experience to collapse, time to see through these, to see what's going on, to see the ego trying to hook and tempt us into projecting some kind of condemnation. Right, also, superiority, that's another thing, right, and that was one of the things she mentioned in her talk too. Actually calling this superiority, right, and that was one of the things she mentioned in her, in her talk too. You know, actually calling this superiority because, uh, the way it was framed is not being human, not allowing yourself to be human and just believe that life and death are true and you got to go through it.
Speaker 1:Right, it's like no, there's another possibility. This body image can actually just dissolve because it actually doesn't exist. Right To me, that's not a sense of superiority, that's just listening. The sense of superiority comes in where the ego is trying to get me to condemn the person. Yes, the teaching is incorrect. However, it's not wrong in a malicious sense, and it's not that it shouldn't be. It should be exactly what it is. Okay, thomas, let's bring you on. Are you going on video today as well?
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, yay, all right, let me promote you to panelists then well, how fun hope.
Speaker 3:I want to support what you're saying about. There is no death.
Speaker 3:I facilitate a book called anna, the grandmother of jesus and she lived 600 years, she could regenerate her cells, she could bilocate and all this stuff, and she can bend the laws of man because they're not real. She's under the laws of God and she is teaching us that we can do the same, and parts of us say, oh no, I can't do that. Well, that's our free will. We can say that and believe that, but that's not who we really are. We can tap into who we really are if we want to, and there is no debt at that point.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and and see, here's the thing it's like as we're learning, we're still perceiving illusions as if they're true. That doesn't mean to stop learning, that doesn't mean to stop correcting your mind in that way, and that's what happens. That's the ego temptation. Oh well, the illusion is demonstrating to me that eternal life is not a possibility. So I'm just going to take comfort here in this life and death illusion. Believe it is true.
Speaker 1:This is so conventional. You know, my, my husband's dad told him one time. My husband told me this and it stuck with me. His dad told him son, it's okay, there's nothing to be uh, there's nothing to be scared of. Death is just part of life. Totally conventional, dude. Right, it's like that's a totally conventional view of it and that's what the ego wants. The ego wants us to take comfort in the idea that this is inevitable, but it's okay, you can be at peace with it. The ego wants us to stop there. It's a step in the right direction, because we want peace. We want to be at peace, we want to be at ease, and our goal and also our destiny, you could say is to take it further than that and actually collapse time. So we see past this illusion and return our minds to our true creations, the kingdom of heaven.
Speaker 3:You know what the real question? You're right. The real question is are we spirit beings or are we bodies? I mean, if you really start asking yourself, that you start to get in touch with the fact that you are just here visiting and you are really a spirit being and that's always who you've been. And we can bend the rules of reality if we want to. We don't have to. It's not like we're trying to be spectacular, but we can bend the rules of reality if we want to, because we're spirit beings, we can totally collapse, these rules that we made.
Speaker 1:There you go, because the rules that we made are based on a belief in separation. That's all it is. So, through living this experience of duality, life and death, it's kind of like a classroom, and we're learning that we never did separate ourselves from God. God created us to be self-aware. God did not create us as bodies on a lifespan between birth and death. This is illusions that we made up, so we're given the opportunity to see through this, to undo the dream entirely, and this is what it's for. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:I started calling this wisdom dialogues because some people tell me oh, it's satsang, because satsang means association with truth, right, so I started going wisdom dialogues slash satsang, slash sangha. But if satsang means to people that you're not collapsing time, then maybe that's not what it is. I don't know, but it's not religion either. See, this is the thing, thomas. This is another thing that came to me. So, conventional religion, christian, catholic, all the ones that believe in Jesus, right, they believe in the resurrection, but they believe in a way that makes them guilty and someone who can never attain it. See, so that's the reason why Jesus came and channeled A Course in Miracles, so there would be help, you know, some help past this thing.
Speaker 1:So it seems like what most of humanity is doing right now is either going to the guilty religion where Jesus resurrected Okay, we believe in the resurrection. Only thing is we're miserable sinners. Jesus is God and we're nothing right. So they're missing the mark in that respect. Yes, so then then the other. Basically it seems like half of humanity is going for non-duality and saying all there is is birth and death, birth and death. Birth and death forever and ever. That sounds like it sucks to me. That sounds shit. It sounds just as shitty as the other one that that we're a miserable sinner, because this is evidence that you're a miserable sinner if you just have to go through birth and death for eternity.
Speaker 3:So Hope. If the separation never happened, then we are in this mystery of being, that of being who we truly are. If the separation never happened, let's go with that which is what you're saying.
Speaker 1:It's one or the other.
Speaker 3:You can't go back and forth One or the other, if the separation never happened. I am free. I'm not my body, I'm free.
Speaker 1:I'm not my body. I am free. I am still as God created me. So I don't need a religion that makes me guilty and I don't need a non-duality teaching that makes me into. What is this? What am I being made into? Something that's bound for sure, something that's bound to cycles of birth and death endlessly for sure, something that's been to cycles of birth and death endlessly. This idea that I just have to keep on doing this, watching all my friends get old and sick and die.
Speaker 1:How is that happy? That doesn't sound happy at all, and it's like we have an all-powerful mind. We're making this up with an all-powerful mind. So what that means is we can have number one, the happy dream which is leading to the real world, which is leading back to the kingdom of heaven. We can have this if we want it. And just because, look it, we have this idea in our mind, whether you believe it or not, look it, this idea in our mind, whether you believe it or not, look it, this idea in the mind, if it sounds happy to you and you fucking like it, that means you can have it, because the mind is just full of ideas, right? And that was one of the things that was brought up. This is just an idea you're talking about, and I'm like so is the idea of birth and death needing to go on forever. Let's choose which one is more joyful. How about that, right?
Speaker 3:We get to choose. We get to choose. And you know, when you mentioned religion. The problem there is they're worshiping Jesus instead of following him into the eternal truth. He became the Christ so that we are the Christ, so we follow him there. We don't worship him and keep him separate. So we're going right into the truth with his teachings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, someone mentioned to me a couple weeks ago. You know we're in block therapy and you know some of you know how I am. You know I just like just someone was going, wow, hope, thank you so much, you know. For these blocks. Uh, just someone was going, wow, hope, thank you so much. You know for the for these blocks. I'm doing block therapy with them. Thank you for so much for bringing these blocks over here to ahi. Heek man, it's amazing.
Speaker 1:And and uh, kind of like how did you, how did you know about this? And I go, I do all the best shit. They're like oh, okay, okay, well, uh, we don't like a course in miracles, basically, and I'm like that's okay, you don't have to do a course in miracles. It's not called the course in miracles. It's called a course in miracles. It is, uh, caitlin says you do, uh, it is a required course. But this doesn't mean this is the form. This is during block therapy. This doesn't mean it's a form like you have to take this. Right, you have to take this form, you know. It's just that you have to and you will. You don't have a choice in it collapse time to see through this. You'll want to do it because there's a call toward that, you know, and so one of my friends goes.
Speaker 1:Well, I just have an aversion to religion because they've felt from people who have practiced the Course in Miracles before using it as like a club to hit people over the head and and, kind of like, be a dick to them and go. Well, you know, I got the course. I don't know what they're saying, but anyways, uh, he's like I'm, he's like it's, it's just a religion, and I go. Well, okay, you can look at it as a religion. The way I look at it, though, is technology. Right, I find it to be a technology. It's an exact blueprint that you can follow to undo the dream and have a happier, more awesome time in the dream as you're going through it. Right, that's how I see it, not like religion. I know people get together, and you know, for myself, I didn't do it in groups, you know I didn't do it in groups, I just did it one-on-one with Jesus, a Course in Miracles, like that, so I didn't get that kind of energy where feeling like it's a religion, but apparently, people are, like, spiritually traumatized by A Course in Miracles people that's the gist that I'm getting and even experience an example of it for myself when I was over at the farmer's market. Farmer's market again. All kinds of cool shit happens there.
Speaker 1:So this guy, this friend of mine, has this box of cards that he made they're kind of like tarot cards and he goes hey, hope, hope, come here, sit down, I want to, I want you to pick a card. And he prefaces it with these aren't really tarot cards. I know I've been getting, you know I've been getting flack from A Course in Miracles, people saying we don't touch those, we don't touch tarot cards, and I go that doesn't come from A Course in Miracles, though that's not coming from A Course in Miracles. A Course in Miracles isn't making anything wrong. A Course in Miracles is saying that everything in the illusion is neutral. It's your thoughts about them that aren't neutral. So basically, what they're demonstrating to this person is their thoughts about his cards, beautiful cards that he handed himself. There's something wrong with them. That's the thing.
Speaker 1:And the teaching of A Course in Miracles is that whatever it is that's arising, it's perfect for you, it's always perfect, it's totally perfect. It's showing you what you need to see and when you look at it like that, there's no condemnation of anything, you know, and it's like when you see it like that, you can see oh, what is it for? What are we using it for? Are we using it to project that death is a reality? Basically, it comes down to that love or fear. What are we using it for? And that doesn't matter, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:I mean, I mean, like in my case, when I'm perceiving a spiritual teacher, basically do a conventional thing with the ego. It's like how am I looking at it? Am I looking at it as a threat? A Course in Miracles is basically saying that no threat is real, nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists. That's the whole basis of A Course in Miracles. So if you're not taking a thing as a threat, that's where you're not projecting death. Basically, the projection of death is as if something's a threat, as if something's wrong. You know, getting the sense that, oh, that shouldn't be right. Everything that's arising is just reflecting a state of mind. It's perfect.
Speaker 3:You know I love that you use the term collapsing time a lot. That's kind of a new term and the Course in Miracles says it'll save you time, so maybe a thousand lifetimes. But you have to be a hundred percent in, not 50%, not a little bit, and that's what you're really helping me get. Is there's nobody out there? Do it Go a hundred percent in, be the truth, and that's what I'm here for to make that transition to truth.
Speaker 1:Wow, thank you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so wonderful to join with people in that. It's so heartening. There were so many years where it seemed like I was doing it alone and I just kept the faith. I just kept the faith and I knew that there would be mighty companions joining with me. And now I see so many of them. I'm so stoked about it. It's a relatively small number compared to the number of people who are more interested in more softball kind of teachings, right, of teachings, right but the people who are interested in this, they're in.
Speaker 1:I met another woman here just recently. She came and talked to me and her faith just totally helped me so much. You know she was talking about how helped she is by me coming into her field, right, and she's telling me her story and I was like you're helping me so much too. Your faith is so inspiring. It's amazing how those of us who have stayed focused on this over time by the way, christine is saying hi to you. She's over on Substack saying hi to you. She's one of them. You're one of them. Caitlin's on here right now. Dorga is doing it, glenn, of course it's on here right now. Dorga is doing it, glenn, of course. It's like people who are on here.
Speaker 1:Just today, there's so many popping up, and when we join together like that, it reminds me of that verse in the Bible. It says when two or more are gathered together, in my name, there am. I in the midst of them and you know, jesus is the one who's in charge of this atonement process. You know which is basically the atonement process. I know a lot of people trip out about that word because it's like what do we need to atone for? We're not guilty. Yes, that's true, but you do believe you're guilty, which is the reason you're projecting a body that seems to be aware of other bodies.
Speaker 1:So that's what the atonement process is for and that's what we're doing here. We're taking any moment the ego's popping up and say this is a real threat, this is a real threat, something's real here, something's wrong here, right, and we're saying, no, that must be an illusion. That's the atonement process. That's where we're. We're willingly collapsing time. We're recognizing that our mind is an all powerful mind, is actually projecting a threat right now and that it could be undone. We could accept the correction of the Holy Spirit and let it be undone, and that's how we help each other every day, by our willingness to do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you're teaching us not to compromise.
Speaker 1:Yay.
Speaker 3:You are holding the line of truth, thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you too. Well, I do my best. I mean, I was talking with a friend earlier and you know I could be, I could be a little, a little, I guess you could say crude in my humor. Sometimes my friend goes well, you don't really get attached because she was going. You were so close with this girl who was just here, sarah, this friend that was just here, sarah, and she left. She went to Baja California. She was spending the night here with me. We were pretty tight, don't you miss her? And I was like no, I really don't miss I, you know, I just I, I just love and I appreciate people. You know, unless it's some cute little Indian guy who's giving me really good sex and apparently I get attached, right, and I and and and.
Speaker 1:The thing about that is I see it and I use it. So it's still not condemning myself for going through that right. The uncompromising aspect of it is just going. Okay, I see this and I know I'm asking the Holy Spirit, show me, show me, show me always asking, and it seems like I kind of like go. It's almost like I go off track a little bit. Show me, show me, show me always asking, and it seems like I kind of like go. It's almost like I go off track a little bit, you know, because now I find myself projecting, I find myself getting the sense that he's being manipulative with me, which must only come from my mind, right. I'm getting the sense that he's being narcissistic with me, which must also only come from my mind, and for a time I'm not seeing it very clearly, you know, but my mind is focused on seeing it clearly too. So I have like almost like a processing time where I'm listening to the Holy Spirit but I'm not hearing so clearly, because there's this seeming desire for something in the field that could satisfy me, but it's not, because it's not the way I want it to be Right. So this is what this is what's meant by being uncompromising You're never giving up, you're allowing yourself to see more and more.
Speaker 1:And as I, as I use it and it was so amazing to Thomas, I was, I was taking a nap and I was feeling heartbroken. This was maybe like last week. I was feeling a sense of heartbroken, right, and I go. I'm just asking for help. Whenever I get the sense of being heartbroken, I'm asking for help to see that differently. And so I lay down, I'm upstairs and laying on a couch, put the headphones in with A Course in Miracles, right, and I go to sleep for a couple hours.
Speaker 1:I wake up right at the part where it's telling you what to do with a thought of making a person special, right? So the heartbreak, the feeling of heartbreak, all it is is projecting a thought that this person, this body, is important to you and what would you do with it? You just ask the Holy Spirit to help you look at it differently, right? Instead of projecting and it's like it was just a reminder again and again, because I got to tell you the projecting there was like a strong pull to fuck that guy, fuck you, you know, go away, you know. So it's like it's like over and over again. It seemed like it had to repeat and go around over and over again, but what I saw more and more clearly is that it was a hidden corner of my mind. And this is again the same thought of death, this thought that makes a person special.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it's not bad to have the sense of heartbreak like this. You can look at it like this is the way in this. You can look at it like this is the way in, this is the way to see. So come to find out. It's my belief that love has to come with pain. It's like I'm not lovable enough, so love has to come with some kind of pain, and it's like I can only get this feeling. This is another thing. I can only get this kind of feeling for someone who's going to act like this toward me. I can only get it like that.
Speaker 1:That's the only way I'm going to get that feeling Like. If the guy's just like, oh, I'm into you too, and it stays like that, I don't have that feeling. I can only get that kind of feeling like, oh, I'm so in love with you. I can only get that kind of feeling like, oh, I'm so in love with you If the person is going to be willing to play with me. Like that, let's say we do it together, we play this together, right? So if that person is going to be willing to play that role and there's another part in A Course in Miracles where it's talking about you only manifest these relationships to specifically not give you what you want- so you can see, you know, so, you can see.
Speaker 1:So it showed me and then and then more recently, and it started like a couple nights ago, where I got almost like an inroad that I didn't have before to this heart energy. So it's like the sense of broken heart and I've heard this said before with a broken heart leaves a crack for the spirit to get in, right, so then the broken heart can be completely used in that way and there could be a broken heart about anything. I mean, I hear so often about people feeling broken hearted. Maybe a parent passed away, maybe a child passed away, maybe you saw that your dreams in life aren't going to manifest, and that's feeling like a broken heart. Right, maybe you were taken advantage of, and it's all in a dream, of course but it's a sense, just this sense of a broken heart, or even the sense that your body is withering away now and you're losing your strength, something like that. It leaves like this crack for the light to get in.
Speaker 1:I like that analogy because it really does, and if you'll use that, basically looking at it with the Holy Spirit in a certain way, you are using it to collapse time, and that's what I see, because what was taken away from me, which is a beautiful thing, was the hope that this world could satisfy me at all. And, noticing as it's being taken away from me, there's this grieving, there's a sense of grieving. It's like, no, I want to get the satisfaction that I made this world for. So everything gives great gifts.
Speaker 3:Yes, you know, what I'm noticing right now is that your teachings is like an intention. It puts it out there and it will come to you that way. But if we teach ourself negatively, guess what's going to keep showing up. And I love that you said that. Your friend said you miss her and you recognize that that's in time. So we need to correct our language basically and you do correct my language sometimes and I appreciate that, because why would I want to keep creating a false reality, what that's got, limitations. So what you just described about how you want a man to show up is going to happen, because that's what you're doing. You're creating it right, right with your intention and and and.
Speaker 1:The thing is it's always, whatever we perceive in the field, it's always manifesting our state of mind, right? So so it's like if I make a person special, I'm gonna perceive all these traits. That's what's going to pop up and what is specialness, what is making anyone special? Anyways? But a denial of God's love, right, it's like a substitute. You're making a substitute because you're unaware of God's love. All of us are unaware of God's love to an extent. That's why we're projecting a body, and this was hidden really well within me.
Speaker 1:I see that how the circumstances were given to me just perfectly, because I didn't seem like I needed anything like that. I seemed to be beyond it. I had a sweet really I still have a sweet relationship with my husband. It's just, you know, we're not like that with each other. Um, we're not in a like a, a sexual kind of relationship where we're running a house together anymore or anything like that. Um, we're just like we're just mighty companions now, which is way more happy. It's more like a happy dream. It's like happy to be with that. Not that it can't be like that and be a happy dream, but in my case, I felt like I was completely beyond all of that stuff because it didn't seem like I needed. I didn't even seem like I needed sex. I didn't even seem like I needed sex. I didn't even seem like I needed anything else. I wasn't never looking for a different partner or anything like that, even though my husband wasn't on the same page with me spiritually. What the Holy Spirit showed me is that the relationship was useful for helping me collapse time, which is the reason why I'm manifesting a life in the first place, right. So I didn't feel like I needed anything, but I was given this great gift through these circumstances, the way that they arose, where this just blindsided me.
Speaker 1:I was hanging out with this dude for years and never thought anything like that could arise. For one thing, he didn't look attractive to me physically, right Even. You know, I guess it's a cultural thing. It's probably a cultural thing, you know, like what we find attractive. Even my son would be like man, that is, that's a sweet dude, but that is one funny looking fucking dude and I'm like no, isn't he? You know, there is not even a chance in my mind that this was going to occur, right.
Speaker 1:But when it occurred it was like oh my goodness, it was like. I have found it was like that song from Aretha Franklin is playing in my mind. I have found it was like that song from Aretha Franklin is playing in my mind At last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over. You know like that and I didn't see it coming at all that it was just going to be like boom. But it was exactly what I needed. It was exactly what needed to show me where I was compartmentalizing fear and to bring it to the surface.
Speaker 1:And it's like at this point I just feel more and more relieved of that whole situation too, like it doesn't need to manifest again, like there's no need to. Of course, I'm not opposed to it if it does, because if I need more teaching, I'm here for it. That's what I'm here for, okay, it's just that it doesn't seem like it needs to manifest again because I could see so clearly how I made it special, where I could have just held it really lightly, while I couldn't have because I needed to see. But you know, it's possible to hold it very lightly, but only when the mind is purified to a certain degree. So we can't really make ourselves be more advanced than we are. See that.
Speaker 1:So that's why these lessons they have to come and just to be open to it. Okay, you know what? I'm not going to try to protect myself. I'm not going to try to protect myself. I'm not going to try to protect myself what I can see right now. One way that's protective in a good way, though, is recognizing a thought that I can any kind of hope that I can get something like that from anyone else in the field, kind of like looking around sizing people up as they come into my experience. Could this be it? Could this be it that is protective in a very clean, clear, spiritual sense, because you're going, that thought leads to an illusion, that thought only leads to death, right, but it's still open to whatever experience is coming.
Speaker 3:Well, I like that you're saying if we try to protect ourself, basically we're doing it on our own, versus go ahead and experience it and then bring it to God and say what was that about? I mean, what's in that for me? How is that for me? Instead of trying to protect and trying to manipulate things to be a certain way, just let it be what it is and go to God constantly.
Speaker 1:Exactly and even let yourself be as you are, even if you seem to be attached. Let yourself be as you are, constantly asking the Holy Spirit to help you see it differently. So it's like shit, I got attached, I made someone special, fucking awesome. I know anything like that's going to happen. It's going to be fucking awesome, it's going to be so enlightening and it makes me feel so grateful. You know, and that's what I communicated to my friend, you know, because you know he would move toward feeling bad about it and I was like hey, you're helping me see things that might have taken lifetimes to see. You're doing awesome.
Speaker 1:There's nothing you know, even when I'm telling him you know what I don't want. No, I don't want to have telephone conversations with you, I'm not interested in this energy. You know I'm sensing a manipulative energy and I'm not interested in that. You know it's like, but no, you're not doing it wrong, it doesn't mean that. So it's not sugarcoating that the deal. You know what I mean. You know what I mean. It's not like, it's not like glossing over and sugarcoating. It is like at some point I could, I could perceive the manipulation in a way where it was like you know what? That's just not for me anymore. It's not necessary for me anymore. It's not necessary for me anymore. That's enough of that, you know. There's no, there's nothing that says that you have to sacrifice and go through, go through any kind of pain, be in communication, be in conversation with someone while there's this manipulative energy alive.
Speaker 3:There's no need to do that and there's no need to make it wrong that, and and there's no need to make it wrong isn't that fun, you know, it just dawned on me that your teaching and our listening is raising the bar, isn't that? What we're really here to do is challenge ourself into the truth and hold on to the limited beliefs. That's right, thank you yay, thank you too.
Speaker 1:I love you, thomas. Thanks for joining.
Speaker 3:I'm going to see you in Sedona soon. Pretty soon yeah.
Speaker 1:It's so fun. I'm so happy about it, me too.
Speaker 3:Me too.
Speaker 1:All right, let me see I'm putting you back in your place.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1:I forgot how to do it. Let me see what do I do to you. I don't remove you. Oh, change role to attendee. Okay, okay, let's see what we have. Oh, glenn, I love you. Glenn's always joking around with me. He says hope giving up on hope. Hooray, yes, I know, I thought of that too. I thought it was so fun. Maybe that's why my name is Hope. I know I've had a bunch of different reasons for my name being Hope. Hope giving up on hope. That's what I'm here to do. I'm here to give up on hope that this world can be satisfactory at all. Okay, durga said.
Speaker 1:Leonard Cohen said in his song anthem there is a crack in everything. In his song anthem, there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. Oh, I love it. That's wonderful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, leonard Cohen, that was someone I read from him before and I got really inspired by his you know his eternal life thing and I don't remember what it was about his teaching. That wasn't complete for me. I'm guessing that it had to do with eternal life for a dense body or something like that. I'm not sure, but it didn't have to do with actually collapsing time, which is what we're doing. And yes, thomas, it talks about collapsing time a lot in A Course in Miracles and in fact in one of our recent deep dives, jesus was really getting into that. He was talking about the difference between surface level miracles, which he wasn't condemning at all. He was just saying that those are not collapsing times. They're collapsing time. Those are not the kind of miracles that do that. And you know, when you recognize the kind of miracles that collapse time, you take responsibility in a way that you're not going to pursue that thought anymore.
Speaker 1:So you know, one idea of that is taking it in a way with like with my friend, like, let's say, the idea that he's immature, right, and and just not making it about him, just not making it like that. And you know, when you see it truly, it's like, ok, we're playing this game together to help us both see something. That's what it is. It's not like, for one, I don't need him to be different to be happy. See, that's the thing. It's like we can get some surface level relief, we can get some surface level relief. Or it's like, hey, I'm making this up, I'm actually projecting this right now. This is not a true reality, right? And you know, it's like I'm projecting it alone in the sense that it's a lonely dream, right, and he's projecting his side of it alone as if it's a lonely dream. What we share is reality. We share the part of the mind that's still in truth. So that's how we join together and we're willing to see that each of us is on our own lonely trajectory in thought and neither of us wants the other one to suffer. You know, when I told my friend it's like no, I'm not interested in talking to you. It's not like you're wrong, I don't want you to feel separate. I could just see that this energy isn't something that I want to play right now. You know, I'm noticing these kinds of manipulative tendencies that are arising and I don't want to play that energy right now. It's not to make anyone wrong, right? So when you do that, you're still being mighty companions to each other, right? You're still being sweet, and he's sweet to me too. He immediately even saw oh, okay, this is how. Okay, this is manipulation. Oh, thank you for pointing that out. Okay, so it's like we just rest here in awe. Okay, let's rest.
Speaker 1:In truth Does not mean that we need to be having conversations over the phone, for instance. It doesn't mean that we need to be meeting up. That's not what it means. That's the ego's interpretation. The ego would say well, you're supposed to be meeting up. That's not what it means. That's the ego's interpretation. The ego would say well, you're supposed to be so spiritual that you should keep on doing this thing with this person. It's not necessary For one. You can only interact with a very small number of people. You can only interact You're communicating with all of them at the same time. That's going on. We can only interact with relatively few people in the field.
Speaker 1:And what I noticed when it came the time for me to say you know what? No, I'm not having any more of this. That's the end of that. Right, it freed up my energy to be available to so many more people. I saw the effects of it right away. It just freed my energy up to be so much more available.
Speaker 1:Right, it's like the ego would have you get wrapped up in a situation with maybe one or two or three people where it feels like you have to help them. That was one of the things you know, because he seemed to be going through some spiritual transition and I seem to be ahead of him and it seemed like he needed me to help him, right, and that was going on for a while, where that thought was manifesting. And then I saw that thought. I was like, no, he's fine, the Holy Spirit's got him. There's no necessity for me to keep on doing this thing. And that's how it is with all people. And it just helps me see more and more clearly, even with the situation, with being in that satsang.
Speaker 1:It helped me see these people in this room don't need me to save them from the spiritual teacher. That's the kind of idea that the ego projects, like all these people in this room. They need a higher, more advanced spiritual teaching right now. No, they don't. That doesn't mean that the Holy Spirit can't speak through me. It still occurs, but it just takes all burden Whenever you feel burden on yourself because you feel like you know more than the other people, or you feel like you know more than another person. So therefore you should do the spiritual thing and be there for them.
Speaker 1:That's the ego. The ego totally turns everything around. The ego totally turns everything around. You know, the way to teach is to demonstrate. That doesn't mean that we do any kind of sacrificing. That doesn't mean that we have to put ourselves up on a pedestal to be anyone's teacher, you know, and that's what I noticed was coming up that my friend would do is kind of put me on a pedestal. It was subtle, you know, he didn't say it like that, it was like, hey, you know, you know he would present like I need you because you have gone more ahead on the path than me and I need this. And it's like no, you don't, you're fine, holy Spirit's got you and you know, then you can, then you're in more of a listening mode and we see what we need to see when we see it. We learn what we need to learn when we learn it. So we just stay within the Holy Spirit's guidance.
Speaker 1:Right, and it's like now, man, when I see, when I perceive narcissism. I just haven't had this experience, you know, but at least I haven't. Since I was younger than 21 years old, apparently, before I met my husband that I was with for 30 years, didn't see any kind of narcissistic tendencies coming up in a lover in decades, many decades. So it's like, once I get this experience, it's like once I perceive narcissism coming up in someone who's close in relationship with me, that's how I know, right away. I'm projecting specialness. That's how I know. It's kind of like oh, you like me so much, I must be so special. It's like, oh, okay, I'm doing that. You like me so much. It was kind of like this oh, you like me so much, here it was. It was kind of like this oh, you like me so much, oh, I can get, oh, I can get you. Okay, then I can get better than you too, right, it's like when I perceive something like that, I know I'm making that up, I've just made someone special, right, that's what that means. And so then I'm not confused about it.
Speaker 1:But I went through the experience, sensing that confusion and asking the Holy Spirit what is this? You know, I'm getting a sense of this. So you can't. You know, at first I wouldn't. It's not that I couldn't, but I wouldn't put my finger on it, because if I did, I'd have to give up the sex and I felt like I wanted that. There was a sense like something could satisfy me in the field. It seemed like that was something that could satisfy me. So I wouldn't look at it, and that's also. That's also how the uh, the ego works. Uh, you could, you could also liken it to.
Speaker 1:Let's say, uh, uh, you're selling out as far as for money, right, it's like you won't put your finger on what's actually going on, you won't look at it with the Holy spirit is what I mean by this? Because you don't want to give up the money, you don't want to give up the money, you don't want to give up the sex, you don't want to give up the money, you don't want to give up the status, anything like that. This isn't a guilty thing, this is just something to look at and recognize, you know. So I was recognizing it dimly at first, and you know what happened, what was great. It just so transpired. And you know the Holy Spirit is in charge of all events, all circumstances, all the Holy Spirit's totally in charge of it. It just so happens that we're on different continents, so I'm not getting the sex. So then, that's not the, that's not a thing, I don't have that, basically that drug. Now. Now I could see things more clearly. Oh, okay, here's what's going on, and it's like this is not something I was in charge of at all.
Speaker 1:I felt like I did not want that to happen, right, I felt like it was, there, was. It was kind of like a two-sided thing. I kind of felt like I wanted it to happen, because there was a sense that I needed that to happen. But then there was also a sense of, oh no, come here. And for me if you're familiar with me, I normally do not miss at all, like kids nothing, my kids will go away. I've got three kids apparently Haven't seen them no sense of missing at all. Right, and you know I don't feel guilty in saying this at all.
Speaker 1:I know why this sense of missing comes up. It's just to reveal something that's hidden, that I've compartmentalized, some fear that I've compartmentalized and didn't deal with. That's all. And as I'm willing and you know, it kind of comes around again and again. I don't know if it's coming around again because you know I've gone into this space, in the heart space. That has just been. Oh my goodness. Last night I went into this heart space where I just get this sense like I don't need anything. I don't need anything. It's just this willingness to be in communion with the Spirit in this way is the most satisfying thing there could possibly be. So I don't know if that sense of missing is coming around again. I just welcome it when it comes because the feeling itself is indicating what I can hand over to spirit and leading me to even more joy, even more appreciation.
Speaker 1:And this thing came up in perfect time after I had like a really long time of a different way of relating, of something like this not coming up. But you could say that I've experienced heartbreak in a lot of different ways, you know, and perceiving it's been in smaller ways, not so intense like this, in perceiving myself in my business running Miracle Botanicals I love Miracle Botanicals, by the way, it's the best essential oils in the world. I still use Miracle Botanicals all the time and recommend it to people, to people. But there was a sense that I was trapped because this was not what was in my. I guess it wasn't what I was being called to do. It wasn't what the Holy Spirit was calling to do, which was be around people, and what I was doing was being behind a computer and that was my job. And so I felt resentful that I was doing that as a job, but I wouldn't use it to collapse time. For many years I just kept on finding myself in it, feeling remorseful, resentful, hopeful also that it would get to the point where I would finally be set free from being behind a computer doing this, basically writing blog posts for Miracle Botanicals and doing all this technical stuff, building the website, running the finances, all that kind of stuff and I did it with awareness of what I was doing and then going into real estate to do it even more, to ramp it up even more where I'm behind a computer, a lot right. So, seeing that it was also a degree of a sense of being brokenhearted, like why do I have a sense of, why am I married to a husband that doesn't want to take over finances and let me be free to interact with people or at least have a job where I'm with people, which would be a job where I'm doing something that doesn't make as much money, maybe, you know like, maybe a receptionist somewhere, I don't know. Now it seems like I don't have any kind of job and I just get to be around people. And when I am behind the computer it's for spiritual teaching, which lets me connect with a lot of people, communicating with people on ideas, on spiritual ideas and stuff like that, and that just feels like my calling, that just feels so in alignment.
Speaker 1:But it took me an amount of time going through a sense of heartache and heartbreak. Right, it's like I have this sense, like I'm trapped, and it was willingness to go through it with the Holy Spirit looking, and not putting any kind of time limit on it, letting the Holy Spirit just make, just have the circumstances coalesce in whatever way they need to teach my mind. And then at one point it was like, oh, I'm doing this to myself. And then, and then, within probably a couple days of recognizing that, it was like I'm not doing this anymore. Once it was recognized, oh, I'm doing this to myself, I'm totally trapping myself. It's like I knew it on an intellectual level, but it wasn't until I really saw it in a visceral sense.
Speaker 1:That's where the time collapse took place. That's where my behavior changed and that's one thing that Jesus was talking about in an earlier deep dive that we were doing Once you collapse time, once you use it to collapse time, your behavior actually changes. So that's what I was waiting for before leaving that situation, because I did not want to leave the situation prematurely and go my husband, there's something wrong with him, it's his problem, it's his fault, right. And then go manifest the same thing over again. I wanted to use it and that's what I did. So now I don't need to manifest the same thing over again. See, and same thing with my friend. I don't need to manifest a narcissistic boyfriend. Manifest a narcissistic boyfriend, it's not necessary. I could just see that. I don't need to manifest that.
Speaker 1:It's like I may find myself in relating with someone who reflects narcissism to me. That was the first thing that was reflected to me. It reflects narcissism to me, but that'll be the end of it, right there. It doesn't need to continue, right? It only needed to continue because I needed to see how I was making it. Once I see how I'm making it, it doesn't need to continue. It was fun because as I was going through it, it was like, oh fun because as I was going through it, it was like, oh, knife in the heart. You know it was like every time I'd see that I'd be oh. What do I need to learn here? When you look at it like that, it's totally different.
Speaker 1:You know, I've talked for many years about people talking about being abused, being in abusive situations, or they're like how do I get out of this abusive situation? My boyfriend or my girlfriend is kicking my ass Like they're actually punching me in the face sometimes. That's the story I'm getting right and I'm like recognize, it's coming from your own mind. Of course, if someone's punching you in the face, you don't really have that. You might not have that nudge from the Holy Spirit. Oh, you know what? This is the perfect container for you to keep on getting punched in the face while we work this out.
Speaker 1:For me, the punch in the face was more energetic. My husband was really sweet to me. There was never any kind of physical abuse or anything like that. It was more like hey, honey, would you fix the light above the, above the stove? And he'd be like OK, I'll get to it whenever. And that was that was.
Speaker 1:That was how the teaching was so gentle, it was like that. So you know, I didn't tell people stay with that partner, but I would tell them you don't have a choice in it, because lots of people would stay with the abusive partner, the one that's punching him in the face, right? Hey, you know I'm not counseling you to stay with them, but I'm also telling you you don't have a choice in it, so there's no guilt in staying with them Either way. That it seems to manifest. Use it like this. Look that it seems to manifest. Use it like this. Look at it like this.
Speaker 1:And you know, I use the same teaching that I'm giving on myself, right, look at it like this. This is coming from my own mind. I must be abusing myself in my own mind. That's what's going on, right? So in my case, I was looking at I must be trapping myself because I'm feeling trapped. I'm feeling like I can't get out of this work. That doesn't feel like my calling. So I feel like I'm trapped. I must be trapping myself. Let me see and you know I'm patient, as can fucking be, you know, and that's the thing, the more patient we are, the faster it goes right. So you might go wow, hope you're patient. You were so patient, you stayed in that sense of being trapped for 10 years. 10 years is nothing in the scheme of things. We've worked to make this moment. We've been working hard, working really hard and making ourselves feel trapped to make this manifestation.
Speaker 1:It's gone on for lifetimes, millions of lifetimes, let's say repeating, actually repeating the same lifetime many times with very minor changes. If you looked at that and you're aware people who have had near-death experiences can see this they're like holy shit, I've been here so many times doing the same exact thing so many times. It's like, is this time going to be different? Yes, I know it. I could feel it in my experience with this lifetime. This lifetime it's different because I'm allowing myself to see my patterns and it's finally worked up to. You know this willingness, like I talk about leveling up, you know leveling up through the lifetimes that we seem to go through, up through the lifetimes that we seem to go through. In my case, it's obvious to me that I've already leveled up a lot in other lifetimes. I've already leveled up a lot. That's why it's easy for me, it's pretty natural to me, to just take this on really fast. You know, I have plenty of people who are listening to me, who have been studying A Course in Miracles way, way longer than me, and they're going. You're my teacher right. That's because of the leveling up that your progress is saved.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter like how much time you've paid attention to it in this lifetime. That's why nothing, none of the miracles that you make, none of the forgiveness that you do, goes to waste. Whether or not you get the perception of your body aging and getting sick and dying, whether or not you get that perception. That doesn't really matter. The perception isn't the thing, it's the way you would look at it. Your thoughts are what are not neutral, and you know that's good that they're not neutral. You don't want neutral thoughts. You want healing thoughts, forgiving thoughts right, Rather than ego thoughts. Basically, if you're listening to one of two voices, none of them are neutral. None of the thoughts are neutral. You don't want them to be like that, right? So you go for the healing thoughts, the thoughts of the Holy Spirit. You're willing to see things in a way that looks on it with forgiveness, with a gentle heart. You're allowing yourself to open up more and more to this gentleness.
Speaker 1:So what triggered me to get into this heart space? I've been reading this book and it's been recommended by my friend, wayne. Hold on, I'm going to look it up so I can let you guys know what it's called so that you can check it out if you want to. Love Without End it's called Love Without End. Love Without End it's called Love Without End, and this is basically an account of an artist who has Jesus come to her and sit for a painting over a period of time. Yeah, sal likes it. He's saying it's an awesome book. Anyways, there's this part in the book and I've been reading it slowly, I've just been just enjoying it and going into meditation with it and stuff like that. So this part in the book where Jesus is talking about accessing the sacred heart, oh my goodness, I was feeling it before I read it. I was feeling this before I read it.
Speaker 1:I was talking with my husband, tony, last night I think it was last night, yeah and he was telling me hey, you're at 5000 feet elevation there in Ajiheek. And I go, I have no idea what that fucking means. Like what does that mean? You know? Because I never, I never like got into elevation. He's like well, it's the same elevation as Big Bear, like Big Bear Lake in California. And I'm like, I'm like OK, so that means something more to me, because we would go up a mountain to get up to Big Bear Lake. And I go well, what else, what other kind of meaning does that have? He's like oh well, the air is thinner there. And I go, oh, interesting.
Speaker 1:And then it reminded me that when I was walking around yesterday in the afternoon, I noticed my breath felt different. It kind of feels like a coolness. It kind of feels like a coolness around, uh, around the area of my lungs, like when I take breath. I noticed this coolness just like really recently. And so then I'm I'm reading last night in the book love without end about accessing the heart from the back.
Speaker 1:It talks about accessing the heart energy from the back and something about I'm paraphrasing now you go through an opening with your awareness. You go through an opening with your awareness to access this sacred heart and it may be discombobulating that's my word from my recollection of it but it was talking about a coolness that it's much cooler than the regular temperature. And so I go whoa, is that what I'm experiencing right now? I didn't start to notice it until the day of several hours before I read that passage. And so I go oh, I got so excited about it. I go, I'm just going to relax into that. So, before bed last night, probably around 10 pm or something like that close to 10 pm, I go, I'm going to focus on that and I'm going to go into that. And, wow, that was like some kind of next level meditation that I haven't experienced before, next level meditation that I haven't experienced before.
Speaker 1:And it's interesting too that I've been dealing with what I've been dealing with energetically has felt like and I've called it a broken heart. I even asked Jesus. I go, jesus, this feels like a broken heart. What do you have for me, right, what do you have for me? And it's funny because it's not a constant, it's not like I'm constantly feeling like I'm having a broken heart. I'm getting all these different stages of relief. You know where it's like. Oh, thank goodness, you know all these different stages of relief. And then, uh, then I noticed this sense where and I didn't associate it with the heart at the time, because it felt like I was breathing different. Uh, you know, the lungs are kind of close to that area too, but it felt like I was breathing different, like when I was taking breath, it felt cool, and that's how it feels right now too. It's like at the, at the back of my body, there's a sense of coolness, right.
Speaker 1:So then I woke up in the middle of the night, and this is something that's been going on since I've been here in Ajiheek, where I will not be sleeping from about 2 am to around 5 or 6 am. I'll fall asleep in the night. I'll fall asleep in the night 8, 9, 10 o'clock usually, wake up pretty much like clockwork around 2 o'clock it might be one, something might be closer to three, but somewhere around 2 o'clock and not feel tired in the least. So this time I went right back into that sacred heart meditation. I started with Yoga Nidra, and that's also synchronistic, christine Christine did a reading for me and she's the one who said Yoga Nidra and I go.
Speaker 1:Yoga Nidra, that sounds good. And if you guys don't know what it is, it's basically you lay there and you direct your attention to different areas of your body. You listen to a voice telling you where to direct attention, and listen to a voice telling you where to direct attention, and as you do that, you just get more and more relaxed. Each area of the body where you direct attention, it relaxes. You feel it relax more and more.
Speaker 1:So I let myself have like a half hour of yoga nidra and then I'm like, hmm, there again and you know that longing for any kind of sexual partner that has been leaving me anyways, kind of like with a sense of grief, you know, because it's like that seemed like that. That was kind of like the symbol. Uh, for this point in time it hasn't always been like that, but that was like the symbol having like a nice sexual partner. That's mine, all mine. That was kind of like the symbol for hope, for something in this world, something that can satisfy me in this world. So there's a sense of grievance. It seems like that sense of grieving over it has come to an end and now it's like there's sacred heart. That's that's what it says, that's what that's what the name of it, that's what that's what Jesus is naming it in this book love without end. Uh, sacred heart, amazing. So it's like now I have something much deeper, that's beyond this world, where I can just go and commune with spirit in a deeper way than I've ever been able to before. I mean, I have been communing with spirit within my body's energy field. The first time I noticed it that I can remember very clearly was when I was 21 years old and there was again a sense of longing. It was the same kind of longing for someone, a body, to be close to me and it was just showing me you don't need that, it's totally here within you. And I noticed in that moment wow, I've got it here within me, I don't need to depend on anyone, I don't need to go through emotional hardships in relationships at all, because I have it right here within me and you know, over time it's like I knew it and I also wanted to pursue something in the world for a little while.
Speaker 1:Oh, who is the author? Her name is Glenda. Let me Glenda Green. Glenda Green, sal knows the book. See, that's a sign that it's a really awesome book, because Sal knows the book. He's amazing. Yeah, he's really amazing. It's rare, so rare that I find myself I'm not sure I've ever met anyone with a mindset like Sal's, going on for that many years like that, I don't think so when he's been actually having his eye on collapsing the idea, undoing the idea. He's like I'm undoing the idea of aging, right, and he's like I don't care what I perceive, I don't care what it looks like in the mirror, right? What do you like, apparently, age in your 80s? 70.
Speaker 1:70. Okay, so yeah, he doesn't even mind. He's like whatever.
Speaker 2:I seem to see here this is an illusion most people think I'm younger than I was 10 years ago he's saying most people think he's younger than he was 10 years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, and that's the thing. It's like what direction it goes in and in the apparent sense, doesn't really matter. You know that may occur and it may not in the dream, but ultimately it will occur Ultimately. Ultimately, all aging will be taken right off of you because it's just, it's just a misbelief. Right, there's a process to this undoing, because you know for one. Right, there's a process to this undoing, because you know for one.
Speaker 1:Hanging around with a bunch of people that believe in aging, you know it's like you're, you're, that's, that's your own mind, that's always your own mind, and it's showing you OK, this is what's hidden, this is what you have, this is what you're given right now to exercise forgiveness, to be in a forgiving state of mind. Yeah, I get that book Durga. It's been amazing. I mean, sometimes it's like not even, it's not even what's written there, the text itself. That'll just bring me deeper, but it'll be some words that just trigger something for me to see, and it doesn't even seem to be the intention of the words for that to be triggered. Right At one point she was just mentioning how she never felt diminished in the presence of Jesus and just hearing that it just triggered huge opening for me. You know, just hearing that it's like wow. It's just like to be in the presence of someone where you just cannot feel diminished. When you're, you know, it's like in regular interactions with regular people, it's like normally, you know, you get this sense where you feel diminished. It's not that they made you feel diminished, but you're projecting an image. You're not seeing them clearly. Jesus just happens to be an energy where you can't project onto him, to where you don't see him clearly because he doesn't have guilt to purify. He doesn't have guilt left to purify in his mind. So if he appears to you, you're not going to feel diminished. That's just how it is. It is not going to feel diminished by him, and that's something that's different that the religions are setting up. It's like you should feel diminished. It's like Jesus sees you, jesus sees you.
Speaker 1:We had a fun joke when I was a kid. I used to love this joke when I was a kid. Okay, so I'm going to tell you guys the joke now. I haven't told this joke in I don't know how long. So one day I was pulling my wagon and I was walking through the neighborhood and I got my wagon stuck in the bushes neighborhood. And I got my wagon stuck in the bushes and when I got my wagon stuck in the bushes, I fucking God damn piece of shit, damn. You know.
Speaker 1:I start cussing. The pastor comes out and he says hey, you can't be doing that, it's sinful. Jesus is watching. So, okay, okay, so I, I leave and I'm walking around. I do it again. I do it three times, three different days. I'm cussing up a storm. The pastor keeps on coming out you're gonna go to hell. Jesus is watching. And I go. Jesus is watching. What do you mean jesus is watching? What do you mean Jesus is watching? How is Jesus watching? Is he right here right now? And the pastor goes yeah, is he over there in the church? Yeah, he's over there in the church. Is he inside of me? Yeah, is he in my wagon? Yeah, he is. Well, tell him to get his motherfucking ass out and push. Well, tell him to get his motherfucking ass out and push. That was one of my favorite jokes as a kid.
Speaker 2:What about the guy who's going to get run over by a train? Do you know that one?
Speaker 1:The guy who's going to get run over by a train.
Speaker 2:The guy who has convinced himself he's God, uh-huh, says I can deal with these tracks and the train is not going to hurt me because I'm God. And so the train's getting closer and closer. The train's not going to hurt me because I'm God. Train's getting really close. His guru leans out a nearby window and says remember the train is God too.
Speaker 1:The train is God too. Okay, yeah, that's a good one. So he's saying I'm God, so the train isn't going to run me over. So he's on the tracks and he's like here's the trains coming, I know it's not going to hurt me because I'm God. And then his guru, as it's getting closer, says remember, the train is God too. Right, it can't really hurt you. Still, you made up this dream and these seeming illusions. And it's all God, bringing all experiences as they need to be. Yeah, so so.
Speaker 1:So you know what made me recall the joke about. You know, tell, tell God to get his, or tell Jesus to get his motherfucking ass out and push. And I used to love that joke as a kid, and I was a Christian missionary. I loved that joke as a kid. It didn't bother me one bit. I did not, you know, even though I was taught in a in kind of a guilty way, not as much as someone who was more conventional, like being trained conventional, but you know, I didn't think of it as guilty at all. I just felt like, you know, it was a joke and also felt, you know, jesus is loving, jesus is looking on me lovingly, like the way my mom would say it to me, you know, when I was a teenager and I was pissed about the way I was raised when I was a teenager, you know, apparently in a sex cult and kind of like, you know, abusive and stuff like that, I was like the perception I go, you know, and I was telling my mom, hey, you know, fuck that, I don't like the way that happened. And she's like you need to repent right now because Jesus is going to, basically Jesus is going to do something to you. You know her words were you better fall on the rock, like Jesus is the rock, or else the rock is going to fall on you, like Jesus is going to crush me, right? And that's when I was just like fuck him, fuck Jesus. That's what I said.
Speaker 1:And you know, when I said that I felt that man, jesus isn't going to care, he's not going to mind. I just knew Jesus wasn't going to mind. You know there was, there was kind of a sense in myself, like you know, I kind of still felt like, yeah, jesus is, jesus is watching, but he doesn't mind. And that was part of like where I'm demonstrating to my own mind that jesus isn't going to punish me, right? I could say fuck jesus, and he's still not going to punish me. And that's really the kind of dude that he is right.
Speaker 1:He, he's not. He's not like that. He's not watching you to punish you. He's watching you to help you. He's watching you to help you. He's watching you to help you see through the idea that you separated from God. That's why he's watching you, right? That's the only thing he's doing, and he's constantly communicating his mind to you. He's constantly giving you his love. That's why he's watching you. He's not watching you at all in a judgmental way. He's not watching you at all in a judgmental way.
Speaker 1:So what I like to say is invite him in to whatever it is. If you think you're doing something wrong, invite him to look at it. And invite him to look at it with you, because he'll help you see it in a way that transforms your awareness. It in a way that transforms your awareness. There's nothing you can find yourself doing that's sinful that's going to make Jesus condemn you. There's nothing that's going to make him think that you need to be harmed in any kind of way. Karma isn't even a reality. That's an invention. See, we only have to live karma as long as we would believe that we've done something or we've thought something wrong. That's the only reason we have to live karma. All of that stuff can collapse in an instant, and that's what Jesus helps us do. Now he's a real sweetie, actually. That's why he's coming through in these different channelings that have been made into books like you know, this one, love Without End, and A Course in Miracles, and I'm sure there's a lot more too. That's why he's coming through to show us, to demonstrate to us that he's here with us. He's never left us and he's offering himself all the time, all through all of our own interactions, through any kind of darkness.
Speaker 1:You know, you might apply it to something like this, like this is really simple, and a lot of you can do this, because a lot of you believe that food could be poisonous. A lot of you feel guilty when you're eating something. Okay, but you still find yourself eating that thing. Not you, chitta, not you, I don't know. Maybe you'll write me someday. You know what Hope? I've actually been sneaking this thing the whole time and not telling anyone. I don't know, probably not, but Chitta's a friend of mine who seems to have a very strict raw food diet.
Speaker 1:Anyways, now, let's say, because this is a common thing you find yourself eating something that you feel is poisonous, right, maybe there's a birthday celebration going on and there's birthday cake and there's some ice cream, and you find yourself eating it. Now I've seen this so many times where people will be eating something, unconsciously, without awareness, because they feel like it's a guilty thing to do. This is right, where you can invite Jesus in, because Jesus will show you that it actually has no effects. It's your believing that it has effects that makes it have effects. See, there's like this hiding going on, almost like this sneakiness. The ego gets very sneaky. It's like it's going to sneak this thing. Right, I'll just eat this real fast and make myself not realize that I'm projecting guilt onto myself right now.
Speaker 1:Or let's say, you're finding yourself at the bar drinking shots of tequila. Invite Jesus in for that too. He'll show you how innocent everything is. He prefers wine. Sal said he prefers wine. Apparently, in the Bible, he turned water into wine. Is that why we drink red wine, sal? I don't know.
Speaker 1:I also really enjoy mezcal. I'll go in for a shot of mezcal sometimes, or a shot or two if I seem to be eating something, whatever it is, though you know, let's say, you're hiring a prostitute. Same thing, you know, I heard from a friend recently who was condemning himself for hiring a prostitute. It's like that's exactly where you want Jesus to be in on it with you. Any kind of perverted thoughts, any kind of murderous thoughts? Just ask Jesus to look at them with you. Murderous thoughts, just ask Jesus to look at them with you. That's what actually helps you to change your mind about what your mind is for. That's what Jesus is doing, helping you change your mind about what your mind is for.
Speaker 1:One way of saying it is for making joyful, for making joyful, so in making joyful, you wouldn't be going towards some thoughts that make you miserable. See what's happening. Your behavior then changes, like. For myself, you know, apparently I don't find myself drinking in a way that's like too much. I find myself drinking it's not no problem. Yesterday I had two drinks in the morning. I was at a drag show and they were serving Bloody Marias, right? No problem, it's like. And what is too much? Anything that feels not joyful to you, that's all. So your behavior actually changes to where you find yourself, even in the manifestation, doing what feels joyful to you.
Speaker 1:When you're not doing what feels joyful to you, it's because you're thinking in a way that's projecting guilt. That's why you need Jesus to be with you, and he always points you back to the Holy Spirit's thought system, which is also parallel to the ego's thought system in your mind. You're either choosing one or you're choosing the other. Neither of them are right or wrong. One just feels a shitload better and it's also your heart's desire. So you're gravitating toward that anyways. When you're not gravitating for it and you're buying into ego thoughts, it's actually more effort. It's actually more effortful, but we've been taught to be effortful even in our thoughts. So yay, everyone, let's have some release, let's have some sweet release, and I'll be back again on Wednesday for another ACIM deep dive.
Speaker 1:I heard from my husband, tony, he feels like it's a little bit dry at this point in the book. I know I've heard this from other people too that it's psychology and it feels like it's dry at this point in the book. I don't feel that way at all and it may just be that like readiness for it, it has to do with psychology. We're going into Jung's theories and Freud's theories and Jesus is pointing out how they got it right and where they went wrong. To me that's super helpful so I could see where I go wrong in my mind and can use correction in that area. I'll be back on Wednesday for that same time, right here on Zoom and also on Substack.
Speaker 1:Durga says it's super juicy, not dry. I feel like that too. I feel like that too. I know that that's how it is, but who knows, it could just be like some people are interested in different parts of it, maybe when it gets into special relationship for him. But yeah, I when it gets into special relationship for him. But yeah, I find it super juicy. I'm so happy to get back into it this coming Wednesday.
Speaker 1:So in the meantime, feel free to visit hopejohnsonorg. Go to my sub stack. I've got writings there Again. If you want a free, paid subscription, just send me a note. If you'd like to donate, it's totally helpful too. Right now I'm just pretty much living off donation. No, living off donations 100%. So, yeah, go to my website and if you want to donate, you could do that there too. Also, there's one-to-ones. You can book one-to-ones with me on there.
Speaker 1:A friend was saying that they'd like to have me over to teach a community. I'm available for stuff like that too, and you know we could work out whatever the details are pricing, anything like that. I love it. She asked me are you available to people who are just beginning? I go yes, you know what I do with people who are just beginning Let them ask all the questions. They can totally challenge me everything. I love it. I totally love it. Okay, just like ask all the questions. It's great. Thank you, glenn. Thank you everyone for joining. I love you so much. Until next time, mahalo, aloha and a hooey ho, yay, thank you.
